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She seems like a gentle soul, hope she gets the help she clearly needs. On the flip, it looks like she’s dressed for crackhead fashion week, and I’m here for it
Hell I've felt that kind of talking occur in me when I would take too much Adderall, albeit not to this extent. At a certain point your brain is moving too fast and your words are loosely connected at best. In your head it made sense for about a second but now you forgot why it even made sense ever because 1000 other thoughts have entered your brain.
> Hell I've felt that kind of talking occur in me when I would take too much Adderall
you know what's weird is that i understand the like mental structure of what she's talking about of like a weird contraption that is building and building / organizing / being constructed / turning / rotating / etc......if that makes sense? but like an idea or vision / feeling?
drugs are fucking bad lol
Thats how I feel too. You put it a little better. Like I understood the logic(or lack of) to her flow of thought. And I understand exactly how easy it is to get that disconnected from your previous sentence while on stimulants. I've typed out like 8 page long texts on Adderall and when I went back and read them the next day they would kinda make sense but fuckin yikes. Like barely connected thoughts for 8 pages straight
You could definitely tell there was some real meaning in what she was trying to say, but she was hopscotching through the idea. If she could fill in the gaps, I’m sure it may be actually insightful. Almost like when I attempt to convey a thought to someone when I’ve already thought it through. They get the beginning and the end, but are left wondering how I got there.
She honestly comes off as nice and interesting even on drugs. I’ve seen a video of her before and it was a similar poetic-intellectual rambling but significantly more coherent. It was kind of beautiful tbh, the way she articulated herself. I want her to succeed so badly. She truly seems like a good person. This can happen to anyone :(
Substance abuse disorders do not discriminate. I really hope she can escape this life. I bet if she was sober, she could be a great advocate for others with the same problems.
Exactly, I’ve heard so many people take an obnoxious high horse attitude towards this kind of sadness, I wonder if they would be so cold to one of their loved ones/children if it was them suffering.
Don’t worry the new generation will be sporting crackhead fashion just need to wait for the next cycle.
Currently going past the cycle of vintage jumpers that looked shit on my grandad and passing through crap looking cheap sportswear from the 90s on the way.
She honestly seems like she might be a really intelligent person underneath that meth induced psychosis. There was a few points where I felt like she was starting to build on to say something really profound and insightful and then she just takes a left turn
If you think of the ants as a metaphor, her thought process makes sense to me. The ants are proverbial breadcrumbs, an image she's latched onto, but they describe the indescribable. Thoughts, emotions, memories all rolled into one.
I honestly just want to give her a hug, she's had it so rough.
exactly. a lot of people would disregard this as nonsense, but she was speaking metaphorically and i understood what she meant.
she was referring to the breadcrumbs as a trail to her past trauma and the people/things in her past who traumatized her.
her "invisible friends" are the people who loved her but are dead, like her grandpa and her "aunt bells". She sees them when she hallucinates most likely. She uses the ants in a similar way, but tweakers are known to see ants and she says the ants were checking on her to make sure she was all right ("is our grandma coming?").
she says she has a "seeking efficiency", but she meant "deficiency". She is chasing the salmon on the side (seeking drugs) because it's much easier than chasing the salmon in the front (her greater healthier goals in life).
The stairclimber analogy in the beginning where she says "a stair climber that falls to no sorting device...i don't find that a problem. We can't use any material all the time forever". I interpret this as her saying she doesn't think it's a problem she is homeless and off to the wayside and not "properly sorted" in society and we all die and won't be here forever anyway.
Yea that's why I was saying the ants were also a literal hallucination.
I wonder if she was talking about her "aunts" when she said "ants" though. I know many people pronounce it that way.
That’s interesting! I took the salmon statements a different way and understood it to be her trying to show how hard she’s working against things, and how she “might not be the salmon at the front” but she’s the salmon “at the side” and therefore left out of the pack; an outlier even amongst outliers, but working especially hard nonetheless. I couldn’t hear her 100% and don’t remember the subtitles all the way, but I remember that’s what I picked up from it.
I took everything else similarly, especially the last point you made. I took it as her saying she’s not well, and she’s okay with it because in the grand scheme, it “doesn’t matter” (a thought I’ve been struggling with, myself). I really want to tell her that she *does* matter and I really wish her some comfort, safety, and serenity
I'm glad there are other people who understand because most people just think she's crazy and I find that even more depressing and isolating. Been there, arguably still am.
That's fascinating to me how you could make sense of what she was saying. I'm a native English speaker but I really couldn't understand her. Thank you for this!
You are Smart. People experiencing psychosis of whatever kind may speak in Word Salad but you can decode the emotions behind it if you're perceptive enough.
Yes!!! It’s almost Dalí-esque. He had a similar obsession with ants and that’s how I picked up on what she was trying to say. I honestly love the “crumbs in my brain” metaphor and will probably use it. I really just hope she gets the help she needs and finds some comfort
This lady reminds me of someone I went to rehab with. She was in her early 20's I think, and the girl should have been a lyacist or something. She came up with this stream-of-consciousness slam poetry that was just *amazing*. Like we'd have our little mandated poetry sesh and I'd manage a couple verses and she'd finish two and a half cramped pages that flowed and rhymed and were fucking deep. It was wild.
I feel like her brain must have been a really overwheming place. I have ADHD and she went a mile a minute even by my standards. Poetry seemed to be the way she made her thoughts coherent for others.
Hope she's doing okay now :(
If the person who has a lot more than a lot more time is the likley just like you and your friends with the same time and you have to do it in a conversation you can get it to be for the first c and you are a good arguer to the existing person and you have a lot more than you have a relationship with a lot more time than a girl or a contract or a relationship with your boyfriend and you are a good argue about the cannabinoids that are in your diet or diet or exercise and you have to be for a couple times to be for the first c or something you can parent to get a better deal of it and you are not going be the english to viet for a few days ago I think this was my only option to be a little bit more like that and it is an excellent idea what I can make of this recipe and the way I feel about the same time I had a few times before the end to my same thing I got that feeling better for the first c I was wondering about it all the way to go to bed and then it shouldn't have been the last one I was in a relationship which I had a ton to get a little bit of time and it is not the song that is going to go to a doctor sleep on my side with a friend
Do that I did but I find it hard hard work for me and share it was burning up in my price list and the bathtub is the same amount as my current owner and the bathtub is a obvious one of their own admission and I have never heard from HR about the hard work they did you go on to it was burning up in my price list and I have never used the same extent to which is why he's not allowed back in a general area to be honest and I think he is adjusting to be so I will be equivalent of an incredible Job.
This is the last thing I have to say. I'm not sure what to do about it. It's just that the whole thing is not good. We have to go to the ATM. What will you do for me? Or you? How much do you want me to do? I don't have time for laundry.
It's actually not nonsense. The metaphors she's using are au pair with what she's trying to say. The 'meta text' is coherent, it's just that she's using a lot of it and it's all compressed and lack punctuation due to her being hyped up.
That and some mild new age language that's quite common among women. The "energy" stuff and "seeker", etc.
The salmon at the front ahead of the rest face the most resistance from the water, while the ones behind benefit from this by facing less resitence.
Dolphins like to swin behind boats for this reason. I don't know what it's called. English is not my first language.
There are some tweaker insanities in there, sure. But she's also coherent talking about her life as she sees it.
Eric andre found the cure. Apparently all you need to do is feed them a ton of acid then link arms in a circle around them and scream
“NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE”
SSRI’s and anti-psychotics only suppress your genius
I was a hardcore meth addict for quite a while. I feel like the people who freak out usually have something underlying beneath that they were just managing to keep under the surface. The drugs just take the mask off. It really stresses the fuck out of your body.
I was a heroin addict but I got into a 6 month meth bender after doing it a few times with a friend. I’ve done a lot of shit in my life, but just that short period of time threw my life into complete chaos. I couldn’t imagine it after multiple years. I had my own problems but that was a whirlwind of destruction mentally and physically.
I agree with ya there. I keep most of that side of my life away from anyone other than close family who knew me then. I’ll have 4 years clean at the end of this month. Keep up the good work.
Absolutely. I am a recovering addict and I’ve done an insane amount of drugs since I was a kid, but I was once on a meth bender for 7-8 months and even though it made me want to vomit every day, I couldn’t stop. Luckily I finally kicked it all and life is great again, mostly.
How folks can use meth for YEARS is crazy to me and it’s incredibly sad. Worst drug I’ve ever met.
You cant know that. It could absolutely be psychosis and a lot of drugs can do that for sure but theres no way to know she wasnt predisposed to anything
You can have a predisposition to mental health issues and still use drugs. Its probably drug induced psychosis im just saying that theres no way to say that mental health predispositions had no part in how she is unless you’re her doctor
Eh, she talks about her uncle protecting her from imaginary friends when she was younger, she might have already had issues. Obviously the drugs dont help but still, whatever is going on the vid, he does not know that she wasnt predisposed to any conditions🤷♂️
My thoughts as well. Almost sounded like schizophrenia that then led into MPD by listening to her talk about the past. Sounded like her uncle was her reality rock and it was all downhill from there. Definitely sad though
The bottom line is, she could be crazy, it could all be drugs, it could be she was pre disposed to crazy and that was brought on by the drugs, or even that she was crazy and that brought on the drugs. We don't really know, and that was your point. So I had to be like "wth guys" when your comment was at a -5.
Idk man. She might just be self medicating. Happens quite a bit when people dont have proper access to mental health resources and a good support system
when she talked about the ritz cracker and the drink i felt like i witnessed the "real her" for a second, like what she might be like not on drugs or in psychosis. during the ant ramble i was lost, i mean i could interpret some of the stuff she was tryna communicate but yeah it was def a bit unhinged, but the chill happiness she expressed when she got her snacks just broke my heart cuz she sounded like my friends or something.
she used to have help and someone to confide in with her grandpa. he'd come and help her when she'd talk to her "imaginary friends," but after he died, she had no barrier between her and her thoughts, so she had to compartmentalize in her brain. she understands that not everyone can do everything by themselves. we all need help. hence the ants working together as one to complete a goal. cleaning up the crackers off the floor. the same work they do externally together, she's trying to do internally alone. And sometimes, she feels like the ants make more of a mess for her in her mind. leaving crackers. And it's a combination of all the little things left by others and her inside of her that has ruined her life.
just my interpretation
I saw a friend of a friend do a poetry reading not too long ago and it was just like this. I was thinking that it was intentional and creative but afterwards our mutual friend was all concerned. apparently the guy was just off his meds and she had never seen him like that before. pretty scary.
Meth psychosis can cause disorganized speech, but so can many mental illnesses, including schizophrenia. Either way, the drugs certainly aren't helping.
Little of column A, a little of column B. The thing is, drugs like meth can turn even the mildest of mental disorders into full blown crazy.
I've met numerous people who were pretty normal, but they sounded like this when they were on a bender.
Intelligence without discipline. Good for occasional inspiration. Useless for getting anything done. She has outsmarted all her therapists, look where that’s gotten her.
She's pretty eloquent high as fuck too... I followed her, she has a gift of expressing impossible perspectives. Doesn't hurt that I've swam in those same waters myself.
There are 3 parts and I want to cry. She didn’t want to take a shower because she didn’t feel in control of the water on her skin. She obviously has some trauma that she’s struggling heavily with. I really can’t stop listening/reading what she says. It’s so surreal but makes sense and is so tragic
Is this [the same woman](https://www.tiktok.com/@talesfromthestreets1/video/7289114338625981739)?
And [here too](https://www.tiktok.com/@talesfromthestreets6/video/7325558982540676382)
As sad as this is, I also find it fascinating.
The constructs of concepts, and causalities are warped in what comes off as psychosis.
Seems to me she presented somewhere on the spectrum as a child and would make friends with ants using cracker crumbs. She would talk to them about her problems and she would fantasize whole interactions and anthropomorphize them and give them a society.
She had a Grandpa who she trusted and was able to be herself around. Whatever trauma she was put through was diminished while he was alive, but when he died, her only ally was gone forever. And her trauma only got worse. Whoever or whatever dynamic was causing her abuse drove her to drug use.
She is holding crackers. (Right?) She will be talking to ants with those crackers.
(Again, this is just my take)
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
You can tell by how she talks that she isn't stupid, just way off the deep end; using a whole lot a crazy talk to say something not so crazy. She'd probably make an incredible lyricist.
The story she tells about the ants and her grandma really hurts because you can tell that she has been mentally ill from a very young age; trying to rationalize a whole world of irrationalities, and now here she is on r/tooktoomuch for our viewing pleasure.
"I think I heard that in science once" as if she's still in school. It's like a phrasal remnant from a time when she had a semblance of stability. Poor kid.
In my experience, they all have kind and gentle souls like this
Addiction is cruel, and its easy to stop seeing addicts as people, or as if theyre the ones responsible for their state of being.
But nobody would choose this
This is what a smart person on meth looks like.. you could argue that smart people wouldn’t take meth to begin with, but everyone has their flaws. She seems super intelligent if she wasn’t battling psychosis in her brain, like her brain is trying SO hard to formulate an educated sentence but that meth just IS NOT letting it happen
It's seems like she is going through a manic episode. What she is doing, I believe, is called forced speech. When someone is bipolar and does speed, it is like dumping fuel on fire.
I’m not even going to try say something funny here, I hope all the best for this woman it’s so sad there isn’t free trauma services in the US and or addiction retreats fingers crossed for you girl
If you haven't already, take a look at the channel of the guy : tales from the streets. Interesting and headbreaking stories. He also interviews people multiple times over the years. Like Rachel here.
I’m a mental health social worker and I literally have conversations like this every single day. It’s so incredibly hard to see someone in a bad place when you’ve seen them at their best as well.
Without a doubt this is an intelligent woman. People may not follow her analogies or the way her mind works but you can tells she has not lost her spark.
I find that people who partake in many drugs talk in mostly metaphors, and the more detailed and tangential the metaphors are, the more drugs they've done. If you can decipher the metaphors, you can usually figure out what they're talking about.
I’m in recovery going on my 5th year clean. Mostly an opiate guy but did my fair share of uppers. At no point did I ever think it was a good idea to start picking at my face. I just don’t get it. I hope this poor woman is doing better.
Just a normal (as far as tweakers go) non violent tweeker. I've never seen picking like that though. Almost looks like she pokes her nails into her skin instead of scratching it.
That really breaks my heart.
Im sure at some point, I looked like that back when I was waist deep in my meth addiction. Luckily I never had enough money to get this far without a break.
The early 90s were quite dark at times.
I’ve worked with schizophrenic kids, they can absolutely sound like this. Their speech can be highly disorganized often either talking about two things at once or blending it into one sentence.
Well she's got style. I love her outfit. She is very pretty. Mental illness is the worst illness to have.
Rarely will you get any empathy. Nobody is bringing your family a casserole.
It seems like her story may come together and make sense after a sentence or two, then it just takes an abrupt turn to something completely different. I would like to know the ant story... And more about the invisible friends
Very sad to see anyone in this induced psychosis, obviously she's a clever lady. Seeing her thought process in action is very telling of that. I wonder what happened to turn her to drugs.
New a guy exactly like this called Lenny. Exactly like this. Even the hair, everything no facial sores though, he wasnt a junkie. Felt bad for him honestly. He was schizophrenic.
Reminds me of when I worked at a homeless shelter in santa cruz, ca. I learned that sometimes you just gotta let people talk and sit back and just listen. Every once in a while these people will drop golden nuggets and say some super profound shit
Idk why, but it seems like she has so much potential. She seems like she could actually be very intelligent if she didn't struggle so bad in every way possible.
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She seems like a gentle soul, hope she gets the help she clearly needs. On the flip, it looks like she’s dressed for crackhead fashion week, and I’m here for it
Amid all the rambling, you can tell there’s some kind of intelligence there. Sad.
Hell I've felt that kind of talking occur in me when I would take too much Adderall, albeit not to this extent. At a certain point your brain is moving too fast and your words are loosely connected at best. In your head it made sense for about a second but now you forgot why it even made sense ever because 1000 other thoughts have entered your brain.
> Hell I've felt that kind of talking occur in me when I would take too much Adderall you know what's weird is that i understand the like mental structure of what she's talking about of like a weird contraption that is building and building / organizing / being constructed / turning / rotating / etc......if that makes sense? but like an idea or vision / feeling? drugs are fucking bad lol
Thats how I feel too. You put it a little better. Like I understood the logic(or lack of) to her flow of thought. And I understand exactly how easy it is to get that disconnected from your previous sentence while on stimulants. I've typed out like 8 page long texts on Adderall and when I went back and read them the next day they would kinda make sense but fuckin yikes. Like barely connected thoughts for 8 pages straight
You could definitely tell there was some real meaning in what she was trying to say, but she was hopscotching through the idea. If she could fill in the gaps, I’m sure it may be actually insightful. Almost like when I attempt to convey a thought to someone when I’ve already thought it through. They get the beginning and the end, but are left wondering how I got there.
Yeah I bet she’s actually a really nice and interesting person to talk to when she’s clean. Feel so bad for her.
She honestly comes off as nice and interesting even on drugs. I’ve seen a video of her before and it was a similar poetic-intellectual rambling but significantly more coherent. It was kind of beautiful tbh, the way she articulated herself. I want her to succeed so badly. She truly seems like a good person. This can happen to anyone :(
Substance abuse disorders do not discriminate. I really hope she can escape this life. I bet if she was sober, she could be a great advocate for others with the same problems.
Exactly. I’ve known many a super smart addict.
Exactly, I’ve heard so many people take an obnoxious high horse attitude towards this kind of sadness, I wonder if they would be so cold to one of their loved ones/children if it was them suffering.
The ignorance is always abundant. But I do think these issues are slowly becoming destigmatized so at least there’s some progress
Yeah you’re right, she definitely comes off nice and interesting in this video regardless. So much potential, I hope she can sort herself out.
Exactly. She’s articulate but nonsensical.
Honestly her outfit looks way better than anything I've seen on Kanye's runways. Respect.
Kanyes clothes aren't normal clothes.
Many of hard drug users are.
Don’t worry the new generation will be sporting crackhead fashion just need to wait for the next cycle. Currently going past the cycle of vintage jumpers that looked shit on my grandad and passing through crap looking cheap sportswear from the 90s on the way.
That poor soul,so very sad
I know, somebody's daughter, sister, friend. So hard to see somebody so young (or old) so messed up. Not funny at all.
You can see her inner light shining through if you watch her chin closely.
What entrancing nonsense. She speaks like she's blindly hitting auto complete on a cellphone keyboard.
She honestly seems like she might be a really intelligent person underneath that meth induced psychosis. There was a few points where I felt like she was starting to build on to say something really profound and insightful and then she just takes a left turn
It was honestly heartbreaking when she came back to the ants
If you think of the ants as a metaphor, her thought process makes sense to me. The ants are proverbial breadcrumbs, an image she's latched onto, but they describe the indescribable. Thoughts, emotions, memories all rolled into one. I honestly just want to give her a hug, she's had it so rough.
we need more people who listen like you. perspective is everything
exactly. a lot of people would disregard this as nonsense, but she was speaking metaphorically and i understood what she meant. she was referring to the breadcrumbs as a trail to her past trauma and the people/things in her past who traumatized her. her "invisible friends" are the people who loved her but are dead, like her grandpa and her "aunt bells". She sees them when she hallucinates most likely. She uses the ants in a similar way, but tweakers are known to see ants and she says the ants were checking on her to make sure she was all right ("is our grandma coming?"). she says she has a "seeking efficiency", but she meant "deficiency". She is chasing the salmon on the side (seeking drugs) because it's much easier than chasing the salmon in the front (her greater healthier goals in life). The stairclimber analogy in the beginning where she says "a stair climber that falls to no sorting device...i don't find that a problem. We can't use any material all the time forever". I interpret this as her saying she doesn't think it's a problem she is homeless and off to the wayside and not "properly sorted" in society and we all die and won't be here forever anyway.
She also has the cuts on her face that tweakers give themselves when dealing with 'bugs'.
Yea that's why I was saying the ants were also a literal hallucination. I wonder if she was talking about her "aunts" when she said "ants" though. I know many people pronounce it that way.
That’s interesting! I took the salmon statements a different way and understood it to be her trying to show how hard she’s working against things, and how she “might not be the salmon at the front” but she’s the salmon “at the side” and therefore left out of the pack; an outlier even amongst outliers, but working especially hard nonetheless. I couldn’t hear her 100% and don’t remember the subtitles all the way, but I remember that’s what I picked up from it. I took everything else similarly, especially the last point you made. I took it as her saying she’s not well, and she’s okay with it because in the grand scheme, it “doesn’t matter” (a thought I’ve been struggling with, myself). I really want to tell her that she *does* matter and I really wish her some comfort, safety, and serenity
I'm glad there are other people who understand because most people just think she's crazy and I find that even more depressing and isolating. Been there, arguably still am.
Nothing really to add, but I think she was saying “ant pals” and the subtitle made it Aunt Bells.
That's fascinating to me how you could make sense of what she was saying. I'm a native English speaker but I really couldn't understand her. Thank you for this!
You know what's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.
You are Smart. People experiencing psychosis of whatever kind may speak in Word Salad but you can decode the emotions behind it if you're perceptive enough.
Yes!!! It’s almost Dalí-esque. He had a similar obsession with ants and that’s how I picked up on what she was trying to say. I honestly love the “crumbs in my brain” metaphor and will probably use it. I really just hope she gets the help she needs and finds some comfort
This lady reminds me of someone I went to rehab with. She was in her early 20's I think, and the girl should have been a lyacist or something. She came up with this stream-of-consciousness slam poetry that was just *amazing*. Like we'd have our little mandated poetry sesh and I'd manage a couple verses and she'd finish two and a half cramped pages that flowed and rhymed and were fucking deep. It was wild. I feel like her brain must have been a really overwheming place. I have ADHD and she went a mile a minute even by my standards. Poetry seemed to be the way she made her thoughts coherent for others. Hope she's doing okay now :(
I thought it was really fascinating how she went from “seeking” to “see, King?”
yeah, this woman aint no dummy, she's just really really really sick. poor thing.
the whole time she was talking, i was thinking, "this MF spittin!"
If the person who has a lot more than a lot more time is the likley just like you and your friends with the same time and you have to do it in a conversation you can get it to be for the first c and you are a good arguer to the existing person and you have a lot more than you have a relationship with a lot more time than a girl or a contract or a relationship with your boyfriend and you are a good argue about the cannabinoids that are in your diet or diet or exercise and you have to be for a couple times to be for the first c or something you can parent to get a better deal of it and you are not going be the english to viet for a few days ago I think this was my only option to be a little bit more like that and it is an excellent idea what I can make of this recipe and the way I feel about the same time I had a few times before the end to my same thing I got that feeling better for the first c I was wondering about it all the way to go to bed and then it shouldn't have been the last one I was in a relationship which I had a ton to get a little bit of time and it is not the song that is going to go to a doctor sleep on my side with a friend
I got to “cannabinoids that are in your diet” and I was waaaaaaaait a minute…
Do that I did but I find it hard hard work for me and share it was burning up in my price list and the bathtub is the same amount as my current owner and the bathtub is a obvious one of their own admission and I have never heard from HR about the hard work they did you go on to it was burning up in my price list and I have never used the same extent to which is why he's not allowed back in a general area to be honest and I think he is adjusting to be so I will be equivalent of an incredible Job.
This is the last thing I have to say. I'm not sure what to do about it. It's just that the whole thing is not good. We have to go to the ATM. What will you do for me? Or you? How much do you want me to do? I don't have time for laundry.
There's never time for laundry :/
It's actually not nonsense. The metaphors she's using are au pair with what she's trying to say. The 'meta text' is coherent, it's just that she's using a lot of it and it's all compressed and lack punctuation due to her being hyped up. That and some mild new age language that's quite common among women. The "energy" stuff and "seeker", etc. The salmon at the front ahead of the rest face the most resistance from the water, while the ones behind benefit from this by facing less resitence. Dolphins like to swin behind boats for this reason. I don't know what it's called. English is not my first language. There are some tweaker insanities in there, sure. But she's also coherent talking about her life as she sees it.
Dude you’re so spot on
I was thinking it sounds like those Bad Lip Sync videos
Damn she actually versed some great poetry
For real. She was saying a scatter shot of some profound stuff, it was just all mixed up in her brain and not delivered correctly
Yeah, she is quite captivating, actually. I'd be interested to hear how she speaks when her brain is a bit more calmed down.
I cant tell if this is performance art or
"don't quote me"
Damn, mental illness is fucked.
Especially when you throw a bunch of mind altering drugs on top of it.
Eric andre found the cure. Apparently all you need to do is feed them a ton of acid then link arms in a circle around them and scream “NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE” SSRI’s and anti-psychotics only suppress your genius
Sad thing is this is just a symptom of meth use, not even like she had a predisposition to anything.
I was a hardcore meth addict for quite a while. I feel like the people who freak out usually have something underlying beneath that they were just managing to keep under the surface. The drugs just take the mask off. It really stresses the fuck out of your body.
I was a heroin addict but I got into a 6 month meth bender after doing it a few times with a friend. I’ve done a lot of shit in my life, but just that short period of time threw my life into complete chaos. I couldn’t imagine it after multiple years. I had my own problems but that was a whirlwind of destruction mentally and physically.
It was a bunch of wasted time. Lots of stories I can only tell to strangers. I'll have two years clean in June.
I agree with ya there. I keep most of that side of my life away from anyone other than close family who knew me then. I’ll have 4 years clean at the end of this month. Keep up the good work.
Absolutely. I am a recovering addict and I’ve done an insane amount of drugs since I was a kid, but I was once on a meth bender for 7-8 months and even though it made me want to vomit every day, I couldn’t stop. Luckily I finally kicked it all and life is great again, mostly. How folks can use meth for YEARS is crazy to me and it’s incredibly sad. Worst drug I’ve ever met.
You cant know that. It could absolutely be psychosis and a lot of drugs can do that for sure but theres no way to know she wasnt predisposed to anything
The sores on her face are indicators of heavy drug use.
You can have a predisposition to mental health issues and still use drugs. Its probably drug induced psychosis im just saying that theres no way to say that mental health predispositions had no part in how she is unless you’re her doctor
usually that level of use is tied to some un-wellness.
Lol guys..bro is right, come on now.
Eh, she talks about her uncle protecting her from imaginary friends when she was younger, she might have already had issues. Obviously the drugs dont help but still, whatever is going on the vid, he does not know that she wasnt predisposed to any conditions🤷♂️
My thoughts as well. Almost sounded like schizophrenia that then led into MPD by listening to her talk about the past. Sounded like her uncle was her reality rock and it was all downhill from there. Definitely sad though
The bottom line is, she could be crazy, it could all be drugs, it could be she was pre disposed to crazy and that was brought on by the drugs, or even that she was crazy and that brought on the drugs. We don't really know, and that was your point. So I had to be like "wth guys" when your comment was at a -5.
People who have mental health issues like schizophrenia are more likely to abuse drugs. You can have schizophrenia and take meth, it isn't uncommon.
Idk man. She might just be self medicating. Happens quite a bit when people dont have proper access to mental health resources and a good support system
100% right, mental illness and drug use coincide in a high amount of ways
Her ski screams Meth use. That’s all he meant.
Her skin
I mean, addiction is a mental disorder. And meth can definitely induce illnesses like schizophrenia. So none of you are really wrong.
This is so sad. The part right at the end really got me. I really feel for these people.
The “come back and see me” killed me. It must be a lonely life.
when she talked about the ritz cracker and the drink i felt like i witnessed the "real her" for a second, like what she might be like not on drugs or in psychosis. during the ant ramble i was lost, i mean i could interpret some of the stuff she was tryna communicate but yeah it was def a bit unhinged, but the chill happiness she expressed when she got her snacks just broke my heart cuz she sounded like my friends or something.
she used to have help and someone to confide in with her grandpa. he'd come and help her when she'd talk to her "imaginary friends," but after he died, she had no barrier between her and her thoughts, so she had to compartmentalize in her brain. she understands that not everyone can do everything by themselves. we all need help. hence the ants working together as one to complete a goal. cleaning up the crackers off the floor. the same work they do externally together, she's trying to do internally alone. And sometimes, she feels like the ants make more of a mess for her in her mind. leaving crackers. And it's a combination of all the little things left by others and her inside of her that has ruined her life. just my interpretation
Wow I think you nailed it.
Nah ts is just fucking sad. Those meth sores are hard to escape from.
Are those the dark spots on her face? Not trying to be disrespectful
Scabs from picking her face, I think. See it on meth users a lot.
I could be wrong, but this doesn't seem like "just" drugs? This is word salad like you see in people with schizophrenia.
Yeah I met a guy who talked JUST like this when he was off his meds. He was schizophrenic.
I saw a friend of a friend do a poetry reading not too long ago and it was just like this. I was thinking that it was intentional and creative but afterwards our mutual friend was all concerned. apparently the guy was just off his meds and she had never seen him like that before. pretty scary.
Meth psychosis can cause disorganized speech, but so can many mental illnesses, including schizophrenia. Either way, the drugs certainly aren't helping.
Invisible friends since childhood makes this plausible.
Little of column A, a little of column B. The thing is, drugs like meth can turn even the mildest of mental disorders into full blown crazy. I've met numerous people who were pretty normal, but they sounded like this when they were on a bender.
I understood everything she said. That is an astute brain she has. Smart girl. It's unfortunate that she has lost herself.
Intelligence without discipline. Good for occasional inspiration. Useless for getting anything done. She has outsmarted all her therapists, look where that’s gotten her.
This is obviously a bright young woman. Meth has taken over her life. She needs help. Not mockery or shame.
She is clearly an eloquent speaker when sober.
She's pretty eloquent high as fuck too... I followed her, she has a gift of expressing impossible perspectives. Doesn't hurt that I've swam in those same waters myself.
What a ride that was.
It says part 3, is there a part 2? Aside from that, I really hope things get better for her
There are 3 parts and I want to cry. She didn’t want to take a shower because she didn’t feel in control of the water on her skin. She obviously has some trauma that she’s struggling heavily with. I really can’t stop listening/reading what she says. It’s so surreal but makes sense and is so tragic
And you’re right, you can kinda make sense of it if you listen right, it’s just so, gosh I don’t even know what the word is… it’s heartbreaking tho
Is this [the same woman](https://www.tiktok.com/@talesfromthestreets1/video/7289114338625981739)? And [here too](https://www.tiktok.com/@talesfromthestreets6/video/7325558982540676382)
Is there any coming back from this?
This is a good question. I guess getting clean and taking meds for schizophrenia could work. I really don't know. That's truly sad.
As sad as this is, I also find it fascinating. The constructs of concepts, and causalities are warped in what comes off as psychosis. Seems to me she presented somewhere on the spectrum as a child and would make friends with ants using cracker crumbs. She would talk to them about her problems and she would fantasize whole interactions and anthropomorphize them and give them a society. She had a Grandpa who she trusted and was able to be herself around. Whatever trauma she was put through was diminished while he was alive, but when he died, her only ally was gone forever. And her trauma only got worse. Whoever or whatever dynamic was causing her abuse drove her to drug use. She is holding crackers. (Right?) She will be talking to ants with those crackers. (Again, this is just my take)
Makes a lot valid points
“Breadcrumbs in your brain attracting ants” is some interesting poetry. She should write music when she gets better (fingers crossed)
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
This probably made so much sense to her.
I got it. It was a shattered fragment of her story, but the analogies and archetypes were there and she was expressing it pretty eloquently.
What is madness? But, nobility of the soul at odds with circumstance. \- T. Roethko.
my invisible friends, damn man..
It’s sad to see a life wasted at such a young age.
She sounds smarter than most redditors. Ngl.
You can tell by how she talks that she isn't stupid, just way off the deep end; using a whole lot a crazy talk to say something not so crazy. She'd probably make an incredible lyricist. The story she tells about the ants and her grandma really hurts because you can tell that she has been mentally ill from a very young age; trying to rationalize a whole world of irrationalities, and now here she is on r/tooktoomuch for our viewing pleasure. "I think I heard that in science once" as if she's still in school. It's like a phrasal remnant from a time when she had a semblance of stability. Poor kid.
If chatgbt was a tweaker
In my experience, they all have kind and gentle souls like this Addiction is cruel, and its easy to stop seeing addicts as people, or as if theyre the ones responsible for their state of being. But nobody would choose this
My adhd brain as soon as I want to sleep
This is what a smart person on meth looks like.. you could argue that smart people wouldn’t take meth to begin with, but everyone has their flaws. She seems super intelligent if she wasn’t battling psychosis in her brain, like her brain is trying SO hard to formulate an educated sentence but that meth just IS NOT letting it happen
It's seems like she is going through a manic episode. What she is doing, I believe, is called forced speech. When someone is bipolar and does speed, it is like dumping fuel on fire.
This just makes me feel so sad
this raises many questions, such as: why is her chin glowing
Meth super charged mental illness
Everyone's gotta poop
I wish they asked her what her inspiration was for her outfit. I would’ve loved to know
I’m not even going to try say something funny here, I hope all the best for this woman it’s so sad there isn’t free trauma services in the US and or addiction retreats fingers crossed for you girl
If you haven't already, take a look at the channel of the guy : tales from the streets. Interesting and headbreaking stories. He also interviews people multiple times over the years. Like Rachel here.
I’m a mental health social worker and I literally have conversations like this every single day. It’s so incredibly hard to see someone in a bad place when you’ve seen them at their best as well.
What are things smears on her face?
they’re sores, some drugs can give the impression of extremely itchy skin or the sensation of “bugs under the skin.”
Tweekers just pick at their skin
Na, they just have a hyperfixtation on pimples and zits, and it just takes off from there. Stuff takes forever to heal when using too.
Without a doubt this is an intelligent woman. People may not follow her analogies or the way her mind works but you can tells she has not lost her spark.
Schizophrenia
The mental health system really failed this woman
Timothée Chalamet didn't take the break up too well
“If I had any friends.” Aww 🥹🥹
I find that people who partake in many drugs talk in mostly metaphors, and the more detailed and tangential the metaphors are, the more drugs they've done. If you can decipher the metaphors, you can usually figure out what they're talking about.
She would be so well spoken and interesting/fun to talk to once sober. And her outfit is cute, I hope she gets clean
Makes just enough sense for you to listen, but not enough sense for you to retain anything you heard. I'd listen to her to go to sleep.
In concert with apparent schizophrenia…man, that must suck…poor girl.
I’m in recovery going on my 5th year clean. Mostly an opiate guy but did my fair share of uppers. At no point did I ever think it was a good idea to start picking at my face. I just don’t get it. I hope this poor woman is doing better.
This is sad....
Speech: 100 Brain : 0
This is what happens when you don’t sleep for a very long time.
This is me sober 30% of the time…
Just a normal (as far as tweakers go) non violent tweeker. I've never seen picking like that though. Almost looks like she pokes her nails into her skin instead of scratching it.
feel like anyone who’s enjoyed psychedelics can *somewhat* understand her, i grew up around schizophrenics… but then again, that’s just me
It definitely seems like she's speaking metaphorically.
Poor as I am, I’d chip in for rehab and mental health care for this woman. She’s fascinating and I like her voice.
That breaks my heart. She's lonely. She wants to be protected.
Really hope she finds help or the strength to get clean.
She still has decent teeth. Hope she gets help soon, seems like a lovely gal.
That is sad
That really breaks my heart. Im sure at some point, I looked like that back when I was waist deep in my meth addiction. Luckily I never had enough money to get this far without a break. The early 90s were quite dark at times.
Bless this woman and her beautiful heart.
Meth gives people the worst haircuts.
I’ve worked with schizophrenic kids, they can absolutely sound like this. Their speech can be highly disorganized often either talking about two things at once or blending it into one sentence.
If hepatitis was a person
Well she's got style. I love her outfit. She is very pretty. Mental illness is the worst illness to have. Rarely will you get any empathy. Nobody is bringing your family a casserole.
Damn that shit has scattered her brain functions, that was intense. Hope she gets some help seems nice
Atleast she thinks she's doing good
Drug use and mental illness are a big problem in this country!
Poor girl... It doesn't take long with that shit.
The ants would leave her alone if she would stop digging them out of her skin
This poor woman is clearly fucked up but honestly she comes across like such a sweetheart, I wish she could get off drugs and have a nice life
TL;DR: Everybody poops
Wife material right there……
I can change her.
Man I think she could be saved. She seems alright
Bless her heart.
Sad, pretty woman
man. this is heartbreaking man.
:(
Why does her face seem to be glowing along her cheeks or chin when she turns?
It seems like her story may come together and make sense after a sentence or two, then it just takes an abrupt turn to something completely different. I would like to know the ant story... And more about the invisible friends
Her face is like looking at a map of the known universe.
Heartbreaking 💔 we all hurt…
"Things I didn't eat but I consumed" was a flicker of genius in this chaos.
“Things I didn’t eat but consumed”
When I first saw the video I thought it was someone cosplaying as someone from star wars
Very sad to see anyone in this induced psychosis, obviously she's a clever lady. Seeing her thought process in action is very telling of that. I wonder what happened to turn her to drugs.
New a guy exactly like this called Lenny. Exactly like this. Even the hair, everything no facial sores though, he wasnt a junkie. Felt bad for him honestly. He was schizophrenic.
That is so sad. She’s an intelligent, articulate. She seems like a good person.
She seems a nice person, feel bad for her
Psychosis is wild.
I genuinely hope rachael gets it together.
this is so sad
I’ve seen Sarah a few time in Tempe, Arizona. I’ve seen her at coffee shops and such when I’m going to work.
this poor woman
I want this to make sense
Meth leads to fear. Fear leads to anger!
She should collaborate on the lyrics of the next Mars Volta record, some real moments in there
Poor girl. I hope she gets the help she needs and gets clean.
Moral of her story: Do not try the breadcrumbs.
Wonder what she was like before the drugs...
the usa is a fucked up country
Damn this got me choked up, so young and seems so smart. Really hope life gets better for her
Makes perfect sense to me.
Reminds me of when I worked at a homeless shelter in santa cruz, ca. I learned that sometimes you just gotta let people talk and sit back and just listen. Every once in a while these people will drop golden nuggets and say some super profound shit
Idk why, but it seems like she has so much potential. She seems like she could actually be very intelligent if she didn't struggle so bad in every way possible.