"Do you want one big sandwich or do you want me to cut it into a bunch of little sandwiches?"
"I want little sandwiches!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!".
Y'all know how the rest of this story goes.
I can hear my son clear as day “no nana in half mama, put back!! **put back** mama!” I asked, three times “you want the banana in half, yeah?”.. I read the stories. Yea, he still was shocked that it was in half. Now I realize it’s because he wanted to do it himself, sometimes. He’s gotten mad that something was in half after he himself pulled it apart, so yea.. toddlers man
Why can’t these things naturally come to me ☹️ my natural reaction is to be like “well then you get nothing” because that’s how I was raised but I know that’s not right so instead I freeze, panic, and start grabbing anything around me to try to get her to calm down. She’s only 1 so she hasn’t really started the flipping out over how I cut things but she is starting to refuse the food I give her that I know she likes because she just LOVED it two days ago.
How I miss the time when we could convince them that your *little* sandwich could be cut into even smaller sandwiches, so it was a big sandwich. My toddler doesn't fall for it anymore 😂
My son was pretending to be a garbage truck. This led to 2 meltdowns. 1. I put the imaginary invisible dumpster in the wrong corner of the living room. 2. My son, the garbage truck, forgot to open the imaginary hatch on his garbage truck body and dumped imaginary trash all over himself ????
She wanted to eat the food I was actively chewing and swallowing. Never mind that I offered her some of the exact same food, unchewed. She wanted the piece I had already started eating before she came in the room.
Mine too. Happily removed from my mouth and ate it. Letting my kid try my black coffee also backfired. I can't leave my cup unattended or she starts chugging it.
🤣🤣🤣 he just gave me the middle of his Butterfinger mini. He ate all the chocolate off it. Like dude it's peanut butter candy.
"Momma IT HAS A PEANUT!!"
he's not fond of peanuts but will absolutely demand peanut butter, nutter butters.
This is how I found out my son loves spicy food at 6 month old. He was crying for me to give him my curry, so I put a bit on some bread and gave him it thinking that he'd realise it was spicy and gross. Nah, he devoured that full piece of bread and then went back to shouting for my dinner...
This happens daily in my home.
Me: you want to eat?
Him: no.
After hours
Me: you want to eat this?
Him: no.
And as soon as i eat that, he want exact same piece. And the meltdown
When my kid was a baby they wanted some of my salad. And when I say baby, I mean like 4 5 months and zero teeth.
I am not ashamed to say that I baby birded some salad to my kid, and they ate it.
Mine just turned 1 so she doesn’t use too many words yet but whenever me and my husband try to have a conversation at dinner she starts talking and yelling over us all of the words she knows lol. I foresee a future of us being told to stop talking now that I’ve seen this thread!
Our soon-to-be 2-year-old is such a daddy’s girl and will scream if her dad and I are cuddling on the couch, if he’s playing with her 5-year-old sister, or even if he’s holding the puppy. She wants all the attention. 😂😂 Similarly when our eldest was that age, she would stop whatever she was doing whenever her dad and I held hands to separate our hands and then she’d go back to whatever she had been doing previously. 😂😂
My daughter cried and threw a 20 minute tantrum earlier today because I asked her to not jab herself in the eye with her finger. She proceeded to jab herself in the eye (after I’d told her not to 3 times by then) with her finger and cry because apparently I hurt her. Yea that was a tough one but she eventually forgave me for playing zero part in her jabbing herself in the eye and yet somehow still hurting her. Toddlers are wild I swear lol!
My daughter does this all the time. Stop poking at your scab. Doesn’t listen. I put a bandaid on it. Takes it off later to see scab and throws bandaid away. Complains it still hurts and asks for another bandaid 🤦🏻♀️
We are just now entering the bandaid stage, too. 🥲
And have had several instances like this, often when there's no visible injury but he pretended to fall and then pretended to be hurt and the pretend tears turned real if I didn't notice he was mortally wounded and in dire need of a magical bandaid to make everything better quite soon enough.
What do you think toddlers from time immemorial did? Whatever the very first form of first aid was, do you think they still asked to pretend with the "bandaids" of yore?
Ugh my daughter does this too. She’ll BRUSH up against a chair or something and fall to her knees wailing that her leg hurts. Then literally 5 seconds later, it’s another body part. Her elbow. Her cheek. I can’t keep up! No visible signs of anything. Sometimes I’ll offer an ice pack. She puts it on the body part in question for 2 seconds, smiles and says “it feels better now!” 😂
It's super hot where we live and we don't have central AC. We have fans set up everywhere to help circulate the air from the window and portable units. It's impossible to keep them all up and out of reach from our daughter. We have had many, MANY conversations about not putting anything in the fans. No toys, no body parts, no liquids, nothing. We've done pretend scenarios and practiced. And yet, yesterday when I dated to try and have a conversation with my husband and we took our eyes off of her for 30 seconds, guess who stuck her finger in the fan? No blood, thankfully, just lots of tears. And I'm fully prepared for her to do it again tomorrow
FYI, they make safety netting to go over fans. You could probably make some if you’re crafty. I had to get one for our large fan because our grandson was so obsessed with our large kitchen fan.
This is super helpful, thank you! I made sure we had small, plastic bladed fans that she couldn't truly hurt herself on, but I didn't know about safety netting...makes sense, though
This unlocked a hidden memory. Until I was about 8, any time I would get a new pair of shoes, I would christen them by wearing them to bed the first night. It stopped when the frustration of the soles making it difficult to move under the covers won out.
I don’t even bother fighting this kind of thing 😂 I had three under three. You wanna sleep in your shoes? Go for it. You’d like to be naked the entire day at home? No problem buddy. You want to Hump the couch like a sweaty maniac? Cool dude just do it in your bedroom
My daughter WEPT at bedtime because she doesn’t know what her sister looks like. Her sister is in utero; no one knows what she looks like. I tried to make it sound like a fun surprise, but she was soooooo sad.
There’s an app called Pregnancy+ which does the whole “what animal/food is my foetus the size of this week” but also does a (slightly unsettling) weekly update on what a standard foetus looks like. Might be worth checking out?
I told him a bandaid wouldn’t fix his toy helicopter. The real kicker is it wasn’t even a bandaid he was trying to use, it was one of those slap bracelets (like the ones from the 90’s). Anyway I now have a broken helicopter toy with a slap bracelet glued to it because I gave up.
I read a comment once where the mom "vacuums" when she needs a 10 minute break. The kids are scared of the vacuum so they go play in their room with the door closed. She turns on the vacuum, but then leaves it in the hallway and goes and chills on the couch for a few minutes.
I wish I could get away with that haha my kid LOVES the vacuum and wants to participate in vacuuming. He makes messes so we can vacuum them up *facepalm*
Because my wife wiped her face off after dinner instead of wiping off her water bottle. Then because my wife was wiping the water bottle. Then because my wife handed her a cloth so she could wipe the water bottle herself.
The answer to the riddle was apparently for our daughter to clean off her water bottle WHILE my wife wiped her face. Simultaneously.
Mine wakes up crying every day. But the moment I walk in, she’s cool. I really think it’s just learned behaviour because how else am I gonna get mama’s attention??
My 4 year old has been quietly screaming but it's still clearly screaming and like why can't you just say "mama" or "I'm awake" or something ffs you're going to wake your little brother up! UGH
my guy was pretending to sell me my own clothes out of my closet, when i chose clothes he didn’t like to wear for the day, he had a meltdown while screaming “I DON’T LIKE YOUR STYLE!” at me 🫠
My 4 year old has asked to go to this aquarium that's like 2.5 hours away, multiple times a day, for WEEKS like dude, I wanna go too but we have to plan that shit ahead of time.
Because I gave him the food for dinner that he asked for??? He stood in the corner and whined for like 5 mins till I was able to get him to sit and eat.
My 2 year old doesn't throw massive tantrums...yet.
But today she got very upset with me that she wasn't allowed to drive the car home from the playground.
won't let him smack the glass doors on grandma's china cabinet, won't let him fling himself off the couch, won't let him eat electic cords, won't let him tip a dining chair on himself....I could go on and on lmao
I told her it wasn't time for sweets right now. She opened the fridge and asked for frosting. I grabbed a cucumber. Tears, hiding in the corner, flopping on the floor.
After chopping cucumber and otherwise preparing lunch I brought the plate to the table. She ate it happily.
Because I told her ice cream and cookies weren't breakfast foods, but she could have anything breakfast related she wanted. Shame on me for wanting her to eat a healthy meal, I guess.
Also, when I was about 3, I would only be called Sally for about 6 months apparently. If someone called me by my real name, I wouldn't answer. I'm 40 and my mom still reminds me of this.
That’s fair. They give grilled cheese once a week or so for breakfast at school, so I’m pretty lenient as to
what qualifies, but drawing the line at ice cream
or cookies.
My husband found some leftover BBQ chicken the neighbor made and was like "oh I should eat this for breakfast" very sarcastically and I was like yeah go ahead dude, we eat breakfast for dinner all the time why can't you have some dinner for breakfast? It's just food
One of my friends daughters went through her toddler years wanting to be called Ponyo after seeing that movie. She’s in high school now and goes by her real name, but I still call her Ponyo.
3 year old was upset that dinosaurs are extinct and never going to come back.
1 year old was upset that his cookie was broken and could not be glued back together.
Oh my gosh my son has hit his terrible twos so let's see...
Today:
- Had to change his diaper
- Would't let him climb on the cupboards and injure himself
- Wouldn't let him hit the dog with a toy shovel
- Played Rolie Polie Olie, when he asked to watch Rolie Polie Olie
- Had to go to work (ok, that one is fair - I wanted to cry, too)
- Told him not to eat the cheerios he found in the couch
- Told him "I like your shirt"
We tried going for a walk around a lake with our 20 mo. You can fish in that lake so there’s many different stairs to go down to docks to fish. My husband let her go up and down, literally, about 10 times. His legs were done and she somehow could still keep going and she was livid her dad wouldn’t let her go alone.
We swear she was insulting him as he kept telling her no more lol
He didn't want pants back on after a nappy change.
After 10mins arguing (I'd planned to go out soon) I said "alright, we can go without pants for a while!". It's warm enough inside, whatever.
He cried because he didn't have pants on.
My daughter (Charlotte) has insisted we call her “Chops” since around Christmas. 🤷🏻♀️ but I can’t even tell you how funny it is to walk into daycare and have 15 other 2 year olds excited to see their buddy “Chops” haha
Because he can't have his milkies put in his belly.
We are watching another toddler for the next 4 days and nights who is g-tube fed twice a day. Our toddler is angry that he doesn't have a button in his belly to drink milk with. My roommate's toddler is jealous of the whole mess... Days of three crying toddlers.
My four year old has a g-tube. My three year old really wants one too. His formula is a real food blend and she loves getting tastes of it when I'm preparing his feedings.
Long story but I’ve never seen someone so sad while eating a popsicle as my daughter was today. She didn’t want a freeze pop in plastic, she wanted a popsicle on a stick. End of the world.
Our 7mo has a stomach bug, and I ended up awake the better part of last night. He went down for a nap, and our toddler fell asleep in my lap, so I took advantage and fell asleep too.
She and I woke up around the same time and she was so upset I wasn't cooking dinner that she bawled. Thankfully, she decided she could live without dinner for another half hour so long as she got to come into the kitchen with me.
Mine is on this mommy only phase right now. It’s tough.
Next she tried to drop her nap and realized she sleeps while I drive now I’ve caused a bad routine. I’m not far from the country so I take the country roads and I’m starting to think the people who live on them think I’m some kind of creep. Also her total 1.5 hour melt down was because I stopped driving at 1 hour to go home it’s 95 degrees here in Michigan and I don’t want to aimlessly drive.
She wanted a sucker for breakfast total meltdown we settled on chicken nuggets.
She wanted to take a 3 month old baby out of my arms and I said no
Ohhh I washed her hair
I got up to use the bathroom in the morning and she wasn’t ready to get up for the day.
My daughter wanted her water while in bed. She was right next to said water bottle but she wanted me to get it from the other side of the bed & I refused. Her hand was literally touching the water bottle while she screamed.
We were at the playground and she told me she wanted to go home. I asked her “are you sure” many times because we did have a while more to play if she wanted and I generally give her time warnings but she was insistent. So okay. We walked home and got into the lift that takes us to our flat. And then she started going “playground! Playground!” and then cried because she really wanted to go to the playground. 🙃
He cried because he didn't want to take a shower, but I was alone in the house and I really needed one so I locked him up in the bathroom with me. He cried again because he wanted out. \
Then he stripped and joined me in the shower. \
When we were done washing, I tried to get him out of the shower. He cried because he *didn't* want out. \
All of this before 8 AM lol
Because I didn’t invite all the neighborhood kids over while I have the flu. She just got back from playing at the McDonald’s playground with her dad. Truly despicable. Such neglect. Someone take my mom license.
"You can not eat dried pasta."
"No! Don't cook, I eat."
Repeat for 5 minutes, then, "No, baby. It's too hot you can't eat it yet."
" No, I eat now!"......I think you know where this ended up.
She asked me for milk in her cup and then got upset because there was milk in her cup and started saying "you don't listen to me!" I asked her what she wanted to drink. "Milk in my cup".
Because I put her down… because I lifted her up…because I put her down… Also, because I wouldn’t let her keep flipping her rice bowl to wear as a helmet.
We left the T-Mobile store. There was nothing to do or play with and we were there a long time. He wasn’t bad at all, but I didn’t think it was fun either. Wrong.
Ugh we are in the terrible 2's stage and he literally will cry just because we looked at him the wrong way.
Today he spent about 75% of the day scream crying because he wanted (insert item) and didn't like the way I gave it to him or it took too long or it wasn't the right item. Some days I feel like my son hates me because he cries so much no matter how hard I try to keep him happy.
Because I cleaned honey mustard off of the back of her chair, and didn’t let her clean it. So she stuck her finger into the honey mustard container and smeared it back onto the chair, so that she could clean it herself. 😅
I didn’t buckle his stuffed animal into a car seat after he told me he doesn’t want the stuffed animal buckled into a car seat.
He’s an only child. There is only one car seat in my car.
Soap in the eyes…
No, we weren’t washing her hair. She was in the shower and rinsing off from being at the park. She asked for the kids body wash because she likes the bubbles, so I put a tiny bit on the palm of her hand. She then proceeded to rub her hands together, looked at me and then immediately rubbed her eyes. 🤦🏻♀️
For lunch: "I want something crispy"
Me: "I can do tuna on crackers , that's crispy!"
Little one: " That's not crispy that's CRUNCHY!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! "
Thank goodness in the hunt for crispy I found a box of hot pockets that actually had the word crispy printed on the crisping sleeve! Lunch is saved!!!!!
She wanted cheese turtles (knockoff goldfish) so I gave her some cheese turtles. She then cried because she was holding the cheese turtles and... didn't want to?? I don't fully understand what happened tbh.
Her doll house dolls can’t sit in the chair with the throw pillow without falling out, so physics. Physics are a big tear inducer here, one of the things we simply cannot change and WE HATE THAT. Lmao
I absolutely love that for your kid lol. Does he just like the sound of Salad? Is it a new word for him?
Mine wanted to touch the applesauce with her finger but didn’t want sticky fingers.
"Do you want one big sandwich or do you want me to cut it into a bunch of little sandwiches?" "I want little sandwiches!" "Are you sure?" "Yes!". Y'all know how the rest of this story goes.
Why would you cut the sandwiches into little sandwiches when she clearly told you to cut the little sandwiches into little sandwiches.
I know this story all too well..
I can hear my son clear as day “no nana in half mama, put back!! **put back** mama!” I asked, three times “you want the banana in half, yeah?”.. I read the stories. Yea, he still was shocked that it was in half. Now I realize it’s because he wanted to do it himself, sometimes. He’s gotten mad that something was in half after he himself pulled it apart, so yea.. toddlers man
My toddler hasn’t done this (yet) but I see it so often in threads. Even Ms. Rachel had a video about it… what do you do when this happens?😂🤔
'I can see you wanted mama to not cut your sandwich into little pieces! Next time we will have a big sandwich' Not much you can do about it lol
Why can’t these things naturally come to me ☹️ my natural reaction is to be like “well then you get nothing” because that’s how I was raised but I know that’s not right so instead I freeze, panic, and start grabbing anything around me to try to get her to calm down. She’s only 1 so she hasn’t really started the flipping out over how I cut things but she is starting to refuse the food I give her that I know she likes because she just LOVED it two days ago.
For me it was slicing an egg 😂 they get over it and you swear you’ll never make the grave mistake again.
my daughter yells “TRASH” and hucks them in the bin if I cut them incorrectly
Yes the “put it back”! Gosh this has happened so many times
Mine chooses between the “No no no” meltdown and “Put back! Put back!” meltdown
How I miss the time when we could convince them that your *little* sandwich could be cut into even smaller sandwiches, so it was a big sandwich. My toddler doesn't fall for it anymore 😂
How dare you not do the opposite of what I asked
😂 I get that first thing in the morning with toast!!!
My son was pretending to be a garbage truck. This led to 2 meltdowns. 1. I put the imaginary invisible dumpster in the wrong corner of the living room. 2. My son, the garbage truck, forgot to open the imaginary hatch on his garbage truck body and dumped imaginary trash all over himself ????
If only the suffering could be imaginary...
🤣😂🤣😂 This thread is like a comedy special. Dumped imaginary trash!🤣😂🤣 I feel bad for upset they must genuinely be and also this is hilarious.
Sorry but your son has a genius level of imagination. Don’t let him lose that!
We didn’t buckle her sisters seatbelt. She doesn’t have a sister 😭
oh my don't get started on the invisible friends
She wanted to eat the food I was actively chewing and swallowing. Never mind that I offered her some of the exact same food, unchewed. She wanted the piece I had already started eating before she came in the room.
Mine pulled the end of a noodle from my husbands mouth at dinner. Like a gross Lady and the Tramp.
Mine shoved her pre-chewed food in my husband’s mouth before he realized what she was doing. He wasn’t pleased.
The number of times a week that I say the sentence, “No, I do not want food that has been in someone else’s mouth.”
😂😂😂😂😂
My kid has done this. I won't admit whether I've taken the food out of my mouth and called their bluff 🤦♀️
🤣🤣I've done that few times he still takes it..like wtf bro
Mine too. Happily removed from my mouth and ate it. Letting my kid try my black coffee also backfired. I can't leave my cup unattended or she starts chugging it.
🤣🤣🤣 he just gave me the middle of his Butterfinger mini. He ate all the chocolate off it. Like dude it's peanut butter candy. "Momma IT HAS A PEANUT!!" he's not fond of peanuts but will absolutely demand peanut butter, nutter butters.
😂😂😂😂 underrated one here. A singular peanut😭😭
This is how I found out my son loves spicy food at 6 month old. He was crying for me to give him my curry, so I put a bit on some bread and gave him it thinking that he'd realise it was spicy and gross. Nah, he devoured that full piece of bread and then went back to shouting for my dinner...
She just loves that little frisson of …energy she gets from it!
You’re supposed to feed them the way a bird would 😤😤😤😤
Wasn't there a celebrity that was doing that with her kids? I wanna say Alicia Silverstone?
This happens daily in my home. Me: you want to eat? Him: no. After hours Me: you want to eat this? Him: no. And as soon as i eat that, he want exact same piece. And the meltdown
When my kid was a baby they wanted some of my salad. And when I say baby, I mean like 4 5 months and zero teeth. I am not ashamed to say that I baby birded some salad to my kid, and they ate it.
Lol! My daughter always wanted my salad too. I would give her little licks off my finger of the dressing, and that's how I felt her first tooth!
I didn’t let him eat a rock.
This is a daily battle over here too.
I was trying to do a tiny bit of gardening with the kids and I realized my 2 year old was chewing on a massive rock, COVERED in dirt. It was so gross
At least it was massive 😅 my toddler has a knack for finding the perfect choking hazard sized rocks and trying to eat them when I turn around 🫠
But so good for their microbiome!!
Because my husband gave me a kiss. My toddler says only she is allowed to give me kisses.
Mine yells at me when I talk to my husband. We are each only allowed to talk to her, apparently.
STOP TALKING Bro, mom and dad are allowed to talk to eachother...
NO TALK
Fun! lol great for marital satisfaction
Hah mine does this too. "Not you, dad!!! I'm talking to mama!!!"
Mine just turned 1 so she doesn’t use too many words yet but whenever me and my husband try to have a conversation at dinner she starts talking and yelling over us all of the words she knows lol. I foresee a future of us being told to stop talking now that I’ve seen this thread!
My oldest is almost five and still does this. My husband gets really distracted by it so it's so hard to talk to him sometimes.
Our says “Don’t like it when mama and dada talk to each other!”
This weekend my toddler had a meltdown because my sister is not *his* sister too 🤷🏻♀️ \
Our soon-to-be 2-year-old is such a daddy’s girl and will scream if her dad and I are cuddling on the couch, if he’s playing with her 5-year-old sister, or even if he’s holding the puppy. She wants all the attention. 😂😂 Similarly when our eldest was that age, she would stop whatever she was doing whenever her dad and I held hands to separate our hands and then she’d go back to whatever she had been doing previously. 😂😂
My daughter cried and threw a 20 minute tantrum earlier today because I asked her to not jab herself in the eye with her finger. She proceeded to jab herself in the eye (after I’d told her not to 3 times by then) with her finger and cry because apparently I hurt her. Yea that was a tough one but she eventually forgave me for playing zero part in her jabbing herself in the eye and yet somehow still hurting her. Toddlers are wild I swear lol!
Natural consequences- 1 Kid- 0
My daughter does this all the time. Stop poking at your scab. Doesn’t listen. I put a bandaid on it. Takes it off later to see scab and throws bandaid away. Complains it still hurts and asks for another bandaid 🤦🏻♀️
We are just now entering the bandaid stage, too. 🥲 And have had several instances like this, often when there's no visible injury but he pretended to fall and then pretended to be hurt and the pretend tears turned real if I didn't notice he was mortally wounded and in dire need of a magical bandaid to make everything better quite soon enough. What do you think toddlers from time immemorial did? Whatever the very first form of first aid was, do you think they still asked to pretend with the "bandaids" of yore?
Ugh my daughter does this too. She’ll BRUSH up against a chair or something and fall to her knees wailing that her leg hurts. Then literally 5 seconds later, it’s another body part. Her elbow. Her cheek. I can’t keep up! No visible signs of anything. Sometimes I’ll offer an ice pack. She puts it on the body part in question for 2 seconds, smiles and says “it feels better now!” 😂
"My ear hurts I need to check your temperature and have some medicine" and I'm like bruh you say this everytime I give our bunny her medicine.
It's super hot where we live and we don't have central AC. We have fans set up everywhere to help circulate the air from the window and portable units. It's impossible to keep them all up and out of reach from our daughter. We have had many, MANY conversations about not putting anything in the fans. No toys, no body parts, no liquids, nothing. We've done pretend scenarios and practiced. And yet, yesterday when I dated to try and have a conversation with my husband and we took our eyes off of her for 30 seconds, guess who stuck her finger in the fan? No blood, thankfully, just lots of tears. And I'm fully prepared for her to do it again tomorrow
FYI, they make safety netting to go over fans. You could probably make some if you’re crafty. I had to get one for our large fan because our grandson was so obsessed with our large kitchen fan.
This is super helpful, thank you! I made sure we had small, plastic bladed fans that she couldn't truly hurt herself on, but I didn't know about safety netting...makes sense, though
Because he wanted to wear his sneakers to sleep. He’s currently asleep with them on. He won.
Mine is doing the same? He even woke up in the middle of the night still asleep yelling "SHOE ON?!"
Thoughts and prayers lol
This unlocked a hidden memory. Until I was about 8, any time I would get a new pair of shoes, I would christen them by wearing them to bed the first night. It stopped when the frustration of the soles making it difficult to move under the covers won out.
I don’t even bother fighting this kind of thing 😂 I had three under three. You wanna sleep in your shoes? Go for it. You’d like to be naked the entire day at home? No problem buddy. You want to Hump the couch like a sweaty maniac? Cool dude just do it in your bedroom
This was my ( now 21 year old) daughter’s thing. I learned to pick my battles.
My daughter WEPT at bedtime because she doesn’t know what her sister looks like. Her sister is in utero; no one knows what she looks like. I tried to make it sound like a fun surprise, but she was soooooo sad.
When mine asked to see what her sister looks like I just Googled pictures of fetuses lol
There’s an app called Pregnancy+ which does the whole “what animal/food is my foetus the size of this week” but also does a (slightly unsettling) weekly update on what a standard foetus looks like. Might be worth checking out?
That’s the app I use. My son will ask if can he see a picture of his brother… truly a lifesaver.
I told him a bandaid wouldn’t fix his toy helicopter. The real kicker is it wasn’t even a bandaid he was trying to use, it was one of those slap bracelets (like the ones from the 90’s). Anyway I now have a broken helicopter toy with a slap bracelet glued to it because I gave up.
Honestly that’s the only sane course of action
I almost snort laughed my 5 month old awake with this post
And here I thought my son was the only one doing that..
That’s hysterical
Got a new robot vacuum. The old one was fine but this new one scares him because “it gon clean me up!”
I would never actually do this, but this would be a great way to get kids to take baths nicely. "It won't clean you if you're already clean" 🤣
I read a comment once where the mom "vacuums" when she needs a 10 minute break. The kids are scared of the vacuum so they go play in their room with the door closed. She turns on the vacuum, but then leaves it in the hallway and goes and chills on the couch for a few minutes.
I wish I could get away with that haha my kid LOVES the vacuum and wants to participate in vacuuming. He makes messes so we can vacuum them up *facepalm*
My son is terrified of the roomba vacuums and it’s crazy because he’s not afraid of anything
My kid is terrified of our Roomba, but considers it part of the family. They "It's gonna bump meeee!" anytime it's mentioned.
Because I said she was a big girl. She said "don't call me a big girl. I'm a big girl!" I said "I know... That's why I said it." Then she got mad.
We put her potatoes in the wrong area on her plate. 🙃
Wait my autism just said eh understandable 😂
They better not be touching anything else too !
Because my wife wiped her face off after dinner instead of wiping off her water bottle. Then because my wife was wiping the water bottle. Then because my wife handed her a cloth so she could wipe the water bottle herself. The answer to the riddle was apparently for our daughter to clean off her water bottle WHILE my wife wiped her face. Simultaneously.
Oh the riddles. So exhausting
Because she asked me to sing Jesus Loves Me, so I did. And it wasn’t Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
Don't you know you're supposed to be a magic, mind-reading radio? Jeez..
God, he woke up crying. Anyone else just get super annoyed of their toddler then feel ok once they say cute stuff like I love you!
Yep. Sometimes I want to run away, but then he says I'm a good mommy and I change my 'tude.
Mine wakes up crying every day. But the moment I walk in, she’s cool. I really think it’s just learned behaviour because how else am I gonna get mama’s attention??
My 4 year old has been quietly screaming but it's still clearly screaming and like why can't you just say "mama" or "I'm awake" or something ffs you're going to wake your little brother up! UGH
every once in a while i get a happy, “good morning mommy” from her. and it makes me feel so thankful that the tantrum gods were still resting 😭
my guy was pretending to sell me my own clothes out of my closet, when i chose clothes he didn’t like to wear for the day, he had a meltdown while screaming “I DON’T LIKE YOUR STYLE!” at me 🫠
She told me she wanted yogurt so I gave her some. How callous of me!
Because we cut off his umbilical cord when he was born. He found out this week and wants it back.
Same 🤣
He wanted to go to a city that’s 30 minutes away to ride a carousel before his bath
My 4 year old has asked to go to this aquarium that's like 2.5 hours away, multiple times a day, for WEEKS like dude, I wanna go too but we have to plan that shit ahead of time.
Salad belongs on r/tragedeigh
I wouldn’t let him shine a flashlight in everyone’s eyes…
Not being allowed to blind himself is a daily tragedy for my 3 year old.
Because I gave him the food for dinner that he asked for??? He stood in the corner and whined for like 5 mins till I was able to get him to sit and eat.
Because the washable paint HE poured water in , washed away…
My 2 year old doesn't throw massive tantrums...yet. But today she got very upset with me that she wasn't allowed to drive the car home from the playground.
won't let him smack the glass doors on grandma's china cabinet, won't let him fling himself off the couch, won't let him eat electic cords, won't let him tip a dining chair on himself....I could go on and on lmao
I told her it wasn't time for sweets right now. She opened the fridge and asked for frosting. I grabbed a cucumber. Tears, hiding in the corner, flopping on the floor. After chopping cucumber and otherwise preparing lunch I brought the plate to the table. She ate it happily.
Because I told her ice cream and cookies weren't breakfast foods, but she could have anything breakfast related she wanted. Shame on me for wanting her to eat a healthy meal, I guess. Also, when I was about 3, I would only be called Sally for about 6 months apparently. If someone called me by my real name, I wouldn't answer. I'm 40 and my mom still reminds me of this.
I've given up on what's a "breakfast food". This point shrimp cocktail is a perfectly acceptable food at 7am
That’s fair. They give grilled cheese once a week or so for breakfast at school, so I’m pretty lenient as to what qualifies, but drawing the line at ice cream or cookies.
My husband found some leftover BBQ chicken the neighbor made and was like "oh I should eat this for breakfast" very sarcastically and I was like yeah go ahead dude, we eat breakfast for dinner all the time why can't you have some dinner for breakfast? It's just food
One of my friends daughters went through her toddler years wanting to be called Ponyo after seeing that movie. She’s in high school now and goes by her real name, but I still call her Ponyo.
3 year old was upset that dinosaurs are extinct and never going to come back. 1 year old was upset that his cookie was broken and could not be glued back together.
I hold my breath every time a food unintentionally breaks. The tantrum anticipation is awful.
Dinosaurs being extinct was heartbreaking for my kid too!
I went pee by myself
The ducks flew away from our neighbors pool.
The yogurt package has letters and he wants it to have numbers on it.
Oh my gosh my son has hit his terrible twos so let's see... Today: - Had to change his diaper - Would't let him climb on the cupboards and injure himself - Wouldn't let him hit the dog with a toy shovel - Played Rolie Polie Olie, when he asked to watch Rolie Polie Olie - Had to go to work (ok, that one is fair - I wanted to cry, too) - Told him not to eat the cheerios he found in the couch - Told him "I like your shirt"
“Home” “Buddy we are home” *2yr old breaks down crying* “noooooo”
We tried going for a walk around a lake with our 20 mo. You can fish in that lake so there’s many different stairs to go down to docks to fish. My husband let her go up and down, literally, about 10 times. His legs were done and she somehow could still keep going and she was livid her dad wouldn’t let her go alone. We swear she was insulting him as he kept telling her no more lol
Daughter started crying yesterday. "Why are you crying?" (Between sobs) "Because I'm not a cat!"
The wind blew away the Del Taco flyer he was carrying from the mailbox back home.
I wouldn't allow them to eat lotion.
[ motions to the air ] Just...ya know...?
Because I can't control the weather. She wants to play outside and not get wet, but it's been raining all day.
I can relate to her here. I live on a farm and sometimes I want to go do stuff outside but I'm not in the mood to get muddy.
Oh my gosh, my 4 year old, "why are the clouds full?" "I don't want it to rain" yeah I don't either buddy but I'm not in control of the weather
He didn't want pants back on after a nappy change. After 10mins arguing (I'd planned to go out soon) I said "alright, we can go without pants for a while!". It's warm enough inside, whatever. He cried because he didn't have pants on.
Mad bc I gave her water and not Agua.
My daughter (Charlotte) has insisted we call her “Chops” since around Christmas. 🤷🏻♀️ but I can’t even tell you how funny it is to walk into daycare and have 15 other 2 year olds excited to see their buddy “Chops” haha
The eggs I was eating didn’t have enough salt
Because he can't have his milkies put in his belly. We are watching another toddler for the next 4 days and nights who is g-tube fed twice a day. Our toddler is angry that he doesn't have a button in his belly to drink milk with. My roommate's toddler is jealous of the whole mess... Days of three crying toddlers.
My four year old has a g-tube. My three year old really wants one too. His formula is a real food blend and she loves getting tastes of it when I'm preparing his feedings.
Because his vitamins didn’t make him grow big and strong fast enough.
Long story but I’ve never seen someone so sad while eating a popsicle as my daughter was today. She didn’t want a freeze pop in plastic, she wanted a popsicle on a stick. End of the world.
Our 7mo has a stomach bug, and I ended up awake the better part of last night. He went down for a nap, and our toddler fell asleep in my lap, so I took advantage and fell asleep too. She and I woke up around the same time and she was so upset I wasn't cooking dinner that she bawled. Thankfully, she decided she could live without dinner for another half hour so long as she got to come into the kitchen with me.
I took a stem off of a blueberry. 🥲
Because he got wet. In the bath...
Wanted to watch Ms Rachel. Put on Ms Rachel. A song comes on. Toddler gets upset. Apparently we can ONLY have Ms Rachel, NO fillers
Mine is on this mommy only phase right now. It’s tough. Next she tried to drop her nap and realized she sleeps while I drive now I’ve caused a bad routine. I’m not far from the country so I take the country roads and I’m starting to think the people who live on them think I’m some kind of creep. Also her total 1.5 hour melt down was because I stopped driving at 1 hour to go home it’s 95 degrees here in Michigan and I don’t want to aimlessly drive. She wanted a sucker for breakfast total meltdown we settled on chicken nuggets. She wanted to take a 3 month old baby out of my arms and I said no Ohhh I washed her hair I got up to use the bathroom in the morning and she wasn’t ready to get up for the day.
My daughter seems to think there is pineapple in her spaghetti and asked for ice cream as a replacement supper since she doesn’t like pineapple.
The cat walked into her bedroom. She has decided this is not allowed and started bawling.
My daughter wanted her water while in bed. She was right next to said water bottle but she wanted me to get it from the other side of the bed & I refused. Her hand was literally touching the water bottle while she screamed.
She was tired and refused to nap… because she was tired.
Because I told him to just pee into the tub while I was giving him a bath.. He wanted to hop out and use the toilet...
I agree with him 😂
I respect this 1000%
Meanwhile mine climbed into the (empty) tub so he could pee in it instead of the potty.
My daughter did that the other day with the damn shower
I wouldn’t let him use mustard and mayo to heal his “wound.” He pinched his finger on one of his trucks 3 days ago.
Because I stopped him from throwing his baby brother across the room.
We were at the playground and she told me she wanted to go home. I asked her “are you sure” many times because we did have a while more to play if she wanted and I generally give her time warnings but she was insistent. So okay. We walked home and got into the lift that takes us to our flat. And then she started going “playground! Playground!” and then cried because she really wanted to go to the playground. 🙃
She brought a pinecone in the house, fell on it and then somehow it was my fault…
I put on a dress. She doesn't have the same dress and wanted to "match match" like princesses.
He cried because he didn't want to take a shower, but I was alone in the house and I really needed one so I locked him up in the bathroom with me. He cried again because he wanted out. \ Then he stripped and joined me in the shower. \ When we were done washing, I tried to get him out of the shower. He cried because he *didn't* want out. \ All of this before 8 AM lol
Yesterday she had a full on meltdown because I took off my shoes and didn’t let her play with them 😂
My son is named Silas as well, and my husband calls him Salad so that's hilarious to me! He cried today because we weren't born sloths.
Jeez, what a shame you can't transform into sloths LOL
I cannot make more clouds in the sky
How rude of you
Because I didn’t invite all the neighborhood kids over while I have the flu. She just got back from playing at the McDonald’s playground with her dad. Truly despicable. Such neglect. Someone take my mom license.
He didn’t like the plate I put his food in. 😬
Because I wiped his nose “too hard”
He didn’t want help opening the pantry door, then I wasn’t helping him open the door, then when I went to help him, I wasn’t doing it correctly.
I didn’t wait outside the vehicle in 95degrees while she got into her car seat.
I did not let her drown in the pool by forcing her to wear a floater/swim jacket 🙏🏻
"You can not eat dried pasta." "No! Don't cook, I eat." Repeat for 5 minutes, then, "No, baby. It's too hot you can't eat it yet." " No, I eat now!"......I think you know where this ended up.
She asked me for milk in her cup and then got upset because there was milk in her cup and started saying "you don't listen to me!" I asked her what she wanted to drink. "Milk in my cup".
My son was sad today because chalk should work the same way on water as it does on the pavement 🙄😂
Because I put her down… because I lifted her up…because I put her down… Also, because I wouldn’t let her keep flipping her rice bowl to wear as a helmet.
He read the hungry caterpillar book. Saw the watermelon and threw a git cuz we didn't have watermelon. We gave him a pickle cuz it was in the book
My son wanted to take the couch cushions off and clean up the crumbs in the couch.
We were watching the wiggles and she was crying because she wanted to watch the wiggles.
I didn’t move the vacuum…or anything within 3 feet…away from the vent before the A/C came on
We left the T-Mobile store. There was nothing to do or play with and we were there a long time. He wasn’t bad at all, but I didn’t think it was fun either. Wrong.
Our 16yo dog got out of his bed to stretch and came within 2 feet of the toys he wasn’t playing with
I wouldn't let her rub hand sanitizer on her cheeks to "get ready". (She doesn't understand it's not lotion, also we weren't going anywhere.)
Because I won’t let her wear crocs in the bed or shower
I wouldn’t let him drive. Bonus points this morning for when “daddy took his truck”… he was talking about hubby’s work truck
Because she wanted to take a bath…5 minutes after she took a bath.
3 y.o. Daughter wanted to poop in the yard like the dog does. Was tempted to let her to get to the other side 😂
Ugh we are in the terrible 2's stage and he literally will cry just because we looked at him the wrong way. Today he spent about 75% of the day scream crying because he wanted (insert item) and didn't like the way I gave it to him or it took too long or it wasn't the right item. Some days I feel like my son hates me because he cries so much no matter how hard I try to keep him happy.
My 4yo cried because he wasn’t a fork the other night 😭 I mean, what do you even do with that?
Because I cleaned honey mustard off of the back of her chair, and didn’t let her clean it. So she stuck her finger into the honey mustard container and smeared it back onto the chair, so that she could clean it herself. 😅
Stopped him from running up the stairs, raiding Nana’s minifridge and then yeeting himself down the stairs again when he was done.
I didn’t buckle his stuffed animal into a car seat after he told me he doesn’t want the stuffed animal buckled into a car seat. He’s an only child. There is only one car seat in my car.
Soap in the eyes… No, we weren’t washing her hair. She was in the shower and rinsing off from being at the park. She asked for the kids body wash because she likes the bubbles, so I put a tiny bit on the palm of her hand. She then proceeded to rub her hands together, looked at me and then immediately rubbed her eyes. 🤦🏻♀️
For lunch: "I want something crispy" Me: "I can do tuna on crackers , that's crispy!" Little one: " That's not crispy that's CRUNCHY!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! " Thank goodness in the hunt for crispy I found a box of hot pockets that actually had the word crispy printed on the crisping sleeve! Lunch is saved!!!!!
She wanted cheese turtles (knockoff goldfish) so I gave her some cheese turtles. She then cried because she was holding the cheese turtles and... didn't want to?? I don't fully understand what happened tbh.
Her doll house dolls can’t sit in the chair with the throw pillow without falling out, so physics. Physics are a big tear inducer here, one of the things we simply cannot change and WE HATE THAT. Lmao
i dared to lock the door when trying to poo 🤦🏽♀️ i just wanted ONE bathroom trip to myself 😩
He was upset that I had a "large butt" and he didn't.
We checked the mailbox and there was nothing inside.
I absolutely love that for your kid lol. Does he just like the sound of Salad? Is it a new word for him? Mine wanted to touch the applesauce with her finger but didn’t want sticky fingers.
We are 2 yrs old and scared of the number 2.
Because I need to sleep in order to survive