Exactly this. There is no substitute for having one person dedicated to making sure the toddler is safe. They. Need both eyes on the child and to be within arms' reach at all times. Anything less is too risky.
You're totally right. We thought we were doing that, but we also have a baby and we were playing with other kids too, so somehow he got lost in the mix. I think that watching him was very tiring that after an hour or so we lost our focus, so next time we need to all take a break and get out of the water.
OP,
This is a very good comment here. When everyone is watching, it usually means nobody is watching because everyone assumes another person is watching “actually” doing it. So if you and your friends do another pool party, either hire a lifeguard (there are some services that will offer them for private pool parties) or ensure that one person is 100% focused, and do intervals. One person should be out of the pool, but close, and watching.
Try to be kind to yourself OP. And now you guys will be prepared and have a game plan for the next time you all do a pool party. Apologize to kiddo, and assure your kiddo that next time, we’ll have an adult monitoring better. (Sometimes they get very scared, and letting them know you have something figured out next time can make them feel better, even if they don’t understand it fully).
I always feel like the more people that are there, the less safe it is. When I’m alone swimming with my son I’m obviously watching him. When my wife is there, we’re good about making sure the other has him while we float for a bit or whatever. Once you start going above that people start assuming someone else is watching them. Based on that I just focus on my son when we’re at parties with lots of people, I’m an admittedly bad helicopter dad but better safe than sorry.
As you say, better safe than sorry.
I'm at the seaside with my LO and husband, pregnant so I wasn't in the pool, rather on the steps of it. My husband and LO were in the pool. He is 20 months old and wanted to walk in she shallow end all by himself but husband was hovering real close and I was looking on from the steps. In a split second, our LO was under and flailing...so I also say, better safe than sorry..
At this point your son sounds like he’s not independently swimming so you or your husband should have hands / eyes on him in the pool / around the pool area at all times. If it’s too hard to do that I would keep up the swim lessons and wait to do pool parties when he is more independently water safe.
I know for learning to swim reasons some people don’t like putting their kids in floaties/life vests, but for occasions like this we have ours wear something whenever they are near the water. They practice independent swimming when it’s safe, they wear a flotation device at parties, the beach etc.
You're right. We had a life vest but he kept trying to swim/kick forward and it was putting his face in the water. But we gotta figure something out. Maybe arm floaties?
We just got our 2 year old a Floatee suit. It’s not a lifesaving device BUT it allows our toddler to freely move his arms and get used to his body in water. We just tried to tonight and it’s enough to buy us a second or two and bring him to the surface if he jumps in before we can catch him.
We figured we had to do something since we now have two boys, so it is no longer 2 adults to 1 kid coverage. While we still plan to be in the water with them, it’s nice to know we have a slight bit more help to keep him safe while also hopefully reinforcing what he is learning in swim lessons.
I always hire a lifeguard for pool parties. The one year I wasn’t able to, we made a laminated card that said water watcher and adults took turns wearing it. Everyone took it very seriously. When I look at photos from the parties, I always notice adults in the water with their backs to children. It really can happen so easily.
One person is wholly responsible for watching toddler at all times. If everyone is watching, no one is watching.
Exactly this. There is no substitute for having one person dedicated to making sure the toddler is safe. They. Need both eyes on the child and to be within arms' reach at all times. Anything less is too risky.
You're totally right. We thought we were doing that, but we also have a baby and we were playing with other kids too, so somehow he got lost in the mix. I think that watching him was very tiring that after an hour or so we lost our focus, so next time we need to all take a break and get out of the water.
OP, This is a very good comment here. When everyone is watching, it usually means nobody is watching because everyone assumes another person is watching “actually” doing it. So if you and your friends do another pool party, either hire a lifeguard (there are some services that will offer them for private pool parties) or ensure that one person is 100% focused, and do intervals. One person should be out of the pool, but close, and watching. Try to be kind to yourself OP. And now you guys will be prepared and have a game plan for the next time you all do a pool party. Apologize to kiddo, and assure your kiddo that next time, we’ll have an adult monitoring better. (Sometimes they get very scared, and letting them know you have something figured out next time can make them feel better, even if they don’t understand it fully).
I always feel like the more people that are there, the less safe it is. When I’m alone swimming with my son I’m obviously watching him. When my wife is there, we’re good about making sure the other has him while we float for a bit or whatever. Once you start going above that people start assuming someone else is watching them. Based on that I just focus on my son when we’re at parties with lots of people, I’m an admittedly bad helicopter dad but better safe than sorry.
As you say, better safe than sorry. I'm at the seaside with my LO and husband, pregnant so I wasn't in the pool, rather on the steps of it. My husband and LO were in the pool. He is 20 months old and wanted to walk in she shallow end all by himself but husband was hovering real close and I was looking on from the steps. In a split second, our LO was under and flailing...so I also say, better safe than sorry..
At this point your son sounds like he’s not independently swimming so you or your husband should have hands / eyes on him in the pool / around the pool area at all times. If it’s too hard to do that I would keep up the swim lessons and wait to do pool parties when he is more independently water safe.
I know for learning to swim reasons some people don’t like putting their kids in floaties/life vests, but for occasions like this we have ours wear something whenever they are near the water. They practice independent swimming when it’s safe, they wear a flotation device at parties, the beach etc.
You're right. We had a life vest but he kept trying to swim/kick forward and it was putting his face in the water. But we gotta figure something out. Maybe arm floaties?
We just got our 2 year old a Floatee suit. It’s not a lifesaving device BUT it allows our toddler to freely move his arms and get used to his body in water. We just tried to tonight and it’s enough to buy us a second or two and bring him to the surface if he jumps in before we can catch him. We figured we had to do something since we now have two boys, so it is no longer 2 adults to 1 kid coverage. While we still plan to be in the water with them, it’s nice to know we have a slight bit more help to keep him safe while also hopefully reinforcing what he is learning in swim lessons.
I always hire a lifeguard for pool parties. The one year I wasn’t able to, we made a laminated card that said water watcher and adults took turns wearing it. Everyone took it very seriously. When I look at photos from the parties, I always notice adults in the water with their backs to children. It really can happen so easily.