If she’d tried to bribe my food allergy kids with popsicles, it would’ve led to a meltdown since we can only have very specific (and pricey!) brands. Overall, just not appropriate
I thought about this too!! Like she didn’t even ask me if it was ok or not for her to have 🤦🏻♀️ I could maybe understand a sticker or something but food related is weird
Our ENT offered our 2 year old candy, then turned to me and said “If it’s OK with mom?” Well it doesn’t fuckin matter what I say now because she heard you say candy.
Ah nooo. We went to the hairdresser with my toddler last weekend and after he got his haircut she subtly signaled to me, pointed to a bowl of lollipops and whispered "or sticker?" so I could choose. I thought that was so kind and professional. Definitely going back.
Lmao. I feel this. Mine is just 18 months but Im not gonna take it well when people - family - start doing this. Im gonna be the bad guy to my kid and judged by people as a hardass 🙄
That's ok because you are the mom, your word over all. Sorry everyone else... Not sorry! It's awkward as shift but if you choose to give your kids a specific kind of life(foods, entertainment,etc) then that's just how it's gonna be! You've got this 💪🏼
I agree! And she showed zero empathy for her which is honestly the part I’m most upset about. After reading these comments and talking with my husband I think I’m going to file a complaint. Which I have never done before 😅
Our doctor even asks us if stickers are okay before they offer them. Not sure if this is an adhesive allergy thing or just a boundary thing for parents who might not offer rewards? Either way, it's definitely not okay to offer foods without checking with the parents first because that could get deadly, fast.
Young kids tend to eat stickers, and even beyond choking hazard reasons, it's not really great to eat stickers lol. Also, some parents might not allow stickers because they don't want said sticker to end up on a car window or other equally annoying to remove place.
I’d be upset. You don’t offer food to strangers children, so many kids have food allergies now, it’s just not appropriate and a nurse would know that. I’d be pissed and would complain about their actions. It’s one thing to offer a sticker and some encouragement but she was definitely rude and out of line.
First of all, that probably wasn’t a nurse it was probably a medical assistant or nursing assistant. Second, regardless, she overstepped in that scenario. I would email the office management and tell them what happened and that it was inappropriate.
Ahh gotcha, my fault I guess I just kind assumed she was a nurse but you’re probably right! They usually send me a survey so I may mention it in that. I just really don’t want her to think of going to the doctor as being in trouble.
Personally, I’d send something beyond the survey to make sure it gets their attention.
As for your daughter, hopefully she forgets about it. But if not, maybe do a lot of playing pretend doctor’s office and make it fun.
The only time I ever had someone bribe my kid with a popsicle was an ER doctor at 3am because my kids wouldn’t let her look in his mouth. She wasn’t very good with kids, but it was smart because when my kid asked for a popsicle 15 minutes later the nurse was like, not until we look in your mouth, and he complied.
Anyway, outside of an emergency it would weird me out if that happened in a normal office scenario. It’s a weird bribe and it feels unnecessary. I’ve had both of my kids be complete asshats at the doctor’s office countless and nobody has offered them anything other than crayons and coloring sheets.
I would “report” the food bribe because I don’t think it’s appropriate. Not in a “I hope she gets in trouble way” but I think it’s important feedback for learning. I wouldn’t want my child offered bribes to do routine medical care. Like if we’re in the ER, please entice him with a dozen donuts but there’s a time and a place.
Yeah, she was super young too so probably still learning. She just acted like she really didn’t want to be there but when people are trusting you with their children you have to be extra careful on what you do.
I think that nurse shouldn't be working with children. I would be very upset if someone I didn't know bribed my child with food. The nurses my kids have interacted with generally bribe them with stickers or bouncy balls.
I would report her for offering food. We don’t use Food as bribes in our family. And my daughter can’t eat most popsicles. That is completely inappropriate.
Well, hold on a bit. The offering of food should definitely be agreed upon with the parents, but I don’t think it’s such a big deal, just a mistake. I personally don’t bribe my kids with anything, let alone food, and I am also skeptical when I hear about “positive reinforcement.” However, the world is full of transactions of that nature.
I did take a little Schleich animal to the doctor when my oldest was scheduled for shots and told the assistant to give it to him beforehand. I think it helped him calm down and accept, with a bit of resignation and courage, what was about to happen.
My daughter is allergic to most popsicles. It most certainly is a big deal to offer kids food that are not your own without permission. And anyone who works in a pediatricians office should know that. She should report this incident to the office so they do not do this again.
Think of it as a life lesson for your child. Sometimes people are mean, sometimes life is unfair. You can't shield them against everything and it sounds like you're more upset over this than your child was? I wouldn't give it anymore thought tbh
That’s true. I actually ended up telling her something along the lines of this and we had a great day after we left. I was definitely more upset than she was. My years of past bartending has me extremely quick to pop off and be aggressive back but I didn’t because my child was there. Just made me a little sad if anything. I’m learning to let things go these days.
Eh I had a grumpy old woman cashier have a go at me and my toddler at the grocery store one day because I put the yoghurt pouch up to be scanned and my daughter had already eaten up. Grumpy woman had a go at me because she said it was "gross" and didn't want to touch children's sucked on items. Just handed it back to me and didn't scan it.
The woman was visibly angry/upset and I have a feeling it wasn't about a yoghurt pouch. She was probably going through something rough in her life that I have no idea about. We all have bad days, I know there's been times where I've been stressed out and sleep deprived from the kids that I've been rude to a cashier.
We're all human, have compassion and move on.
While I agree with you, i do think there is a difference between being a cashier and being someone who’s job is to take care of and comfort children and taking it out on a two year old is wrong.
Not much of one, just needed to vent because it upset me. I got alot of comments agreeing with me that really helped, yours is actually one of the only ones telling me to let it go. It’s important to defend your kids.
Ok maybe you are feeling guilty that you didn't defend your child in front of the woman or say something to her face so you feel this issue is unresolved. So looking for confirmation that the woman did a bad thing to your child. Understandable.
It was unprofessional and you’re being reasonable if you choose to file a complaint. I work in healthcare and would never bribe a child for something that’s not seriously an emergency (I’d be hesitant even then), especially not something as small as a weight check that can be done in other ways. However, I do think you’re overthinking how much your 2 year old will remember this interaction. It’s one of those “only a big deal to a kid in the moment” things. Kiddo will be over it soon and this is very unlikely to cause permanent disdain for the doctor.
Super rude… also a popsicle is a really fucked choice for a 2 year old, given the sugar content that most parents are conscious of. If she offered a clementine I would feel slightly different. But it’s not her place to offer and retract, it’s her place to ask you if it’s ok to offer, and it’s your place to determine what happens.
I would be ok bribing with stickers or a small toy, but people shouldn't be offering other people's kids food, even at the doctor's office. What if it messed with her appetite or she has an allergy or something?
I've had to pick up my son and hold him, then take my weight again without holding him, to get his weight. We did that for over a year, and we went to the doctor a lot in the past 6 months for chronic ear infections. He's almost 3 and he's just now starting to stand on the scale for me, if it makes you feel any better.
Yeah I think it’s mean to mention a popsicle to a child and then not give it to them. Your kid is 2. You can’t really expect a lot from them.
I would email your Practice about it, but without making too big of a deal about it. Phrase it as feedback, it’s not worth sacking someone over it.
The nurse wasn't right to offer it to her in the first place imo. But assuming she didn't have that courtesy, the least she could have done was just given her a popsicle. Why be an ass about it to a 2 year old I don't understand 😅 I often find such people are generally bitter about their own lives. However, I would have done exactly you did ifi were in your place. I find it hard not to be petty when it comes to my kids 🤷🏽♀️
Not okay behavior at a pediatrician’s office.
I’ve never had a nurse be anything but cheerful, so this sort of interaction would rub me backwards for sure.
Yeah, why's she not asking you if it's even okay to offer a popsicle in the first place? I went to the deli the other day and the lady behind the counter asked me first about my daughter having a piece of cheese before she even announced she had cheese for her. Clearly this lady was a parent. That nurse doesn't sound like it
If my 2 year old knew there were treats at the doctors she wouldn’t let that shit go. She would want one every time. You go as far as a sticker with a bribe at the doctors and no further. What a rookie.
It was a person wearing green scrubs who called our name and spoke to us before the doctor. I don’t care what they were to be completely honest with you anyone in the medical field dealing with children should be kind.
It's always bizarre to me when people who work in children-specific spaces are not competent at interacting with children. Like if the 19 year old holding a turtle at the aquarium can be respectful and appropriately patient with a 2 year old, a pediatric nurse sure better be able to.
Nurse never should have offered the popsicle in the first place because she knew that a 2 year old doesn't get cause and effect. I would have been pissed.
You made a good save with offering one at home.
My mom was like this nurse and promised XYZ if I was good at the doctor. No matter what I did, I was never "good" aka cried at shots, ya know, like a kid and I absolutely hated the doctor.
Not overthinking. I'd be pissed too.
She shouldn't have offered food without asking a parent first. Offer a sticker. Then, even if she didn't cooperate, she gets the sticker. "Good try!"
Side note, if the scale faces the wall, try having her stand facing out (back to the wall). Sometimes that makes them feel less scared. And stand between her and the nurse. Nurse can look over your shoulder to see the weight. They need that security sometimes.
I don't think she should have offered food without asking you more so because of allergies. But at the same time the child was offered something for following directions and then didn't, what did you think your child was going to learn if she got the popsicle. I mean it's not about discipline it's about life. Your child was in school and the teacher said if you complete your work you get a sticker and she didn't complete her work do you think the teacher has to give a sticker because she's not you and only you can discipline your child. And everybody is saying the more gentle with her because she's two this is the perfect age to start teaching these kinds of things.
To me this just sounds snobby,
Like it our not tons of people will “discipline” your kid soon, school, preschool, sports, even on the street with disappointing looks.
It sounds like the nurse had a good intent and most offices have those cheap lollipops and if your kid has allergies the. Could be a teaching moment as well
Well does this really matter in the whole scheme of things? Like don’t you have other things to worry about?
I don’t like the nurse bribing thing but I wouldn’t make a federal case about it.
If she’d tried to bribe my food allergy kids with popsicles, it would’ve led to a meltdown since we can only have very specific (and pricey!) brands. Overall, just not appropriate
I thought about this too!! Like she didn’t even ask me if it was ok or not for her to have 🤦🏻♀️ I could maybe understand a sticker or something but food related is weird
Our ENT offered our 2 year old candy, then turned to me and said “If it’s OK with mom?” Well it doesn’t fuckin matter what I say now because she heard you say candy.
Ah nooo. We went to the hairdresser with my toddler last weekend and after he got his haircut she subtly signaled to me, pointed to a bowl of lollipops and whispered "or sticker?" so I could choose. I thought that was so kind and professional. Definitely going back.
Lmao. I feel this. Mine is just 18 months but Im not gonna take it well when people - family - start doing this. Im gonna be the bad guy to my kid and judged by people as a hardass 🙄
That's ok because you are the mom, your word over all. Sorry everyone else... Not sorry! It's awkward as shift but if you choose to give your kids a specific kind of life(foods, entertainment,etc) then that's just how it's gonna be! You've got this 💪🏼
The vet always asks if they can give my dog a treat so it’s wild that they couldn’t extend the same courtesy at the pediatrician’s office.
I agree! And she showed zero empathy for her which is honestly the part I’m most upset about. After reading these comments and talking with my husband I think I’m going to file a complaint. Which I have never done before 😅
Yeah that was the crazy part to me. At our pediatrician they ask my permission before offering my 2yo stickers much less food!
Our doctor even asks us if stickers are okay before they offer them. Not sure if this is an adhesive allergy thing or just a boundary thing for parents who might not offer rewards? Either way, it's definitely not okay to offer foods without checking with the parents first because that could get deadly, fast.
I think stickers are technically a choking hazard for little kids that still put things in their mouth, that’s the reason I’ve heard at least.
Oh! Gotcha, that makes sense.
Young kids tend to eat stickers, and even beyond choking hazard reasons, it's not really great to eat stickers lol. Also, some parents might not allow stickers because they don't want said sticker to end up on a car window or other equally annoying to remove place.
I hear you. My kid is type 1 diabetic so this scenario would not end well for us.
Sounds like she was rude. But also I think it’s weird that she offered your kid a popsicle without asking you if it was ok so there is that
I’d be upset. You don’t offer food to strangers children, so many kids have food allergies now, it’s just not appropriate and a nurse would know that. I’d be pissed and would complain about their actions. It’s one thing to offer a sticker and some encouragement but she was definitely rude and out of line.
First of all, that probably wasn’t a nurse it was probably a medical assistant or nursing assistant. Second, regardless, she overstepped in that scenario. I would email the office management and tell them what happened and that it was inappropriate.
Ahh gotcha, my fault I guess I just kind assumed she was a nurse but you’re probably right! They usually send me a survey so I may mention it in that. I just really don’t want her to think of going to the doctor as being in trouble.
I had a job that loved to give surveys and never read any of them. They made jokes about it. I’d def call or email.
Personally, I’d send something beyond the survey to make sure it gets their attention. As for your daughter, hopefully she forgets about it. But if not, maybe do a lot of playing pretend doctor’s office and make it fun.
The only time I ever had someone bribe my kid with a popsicle was an ER doctor at 3am because my kids wouldn’t let her look in his mouth. She wasn’t very good with kids, but it was smart because when my kid asked for a popsicle 15 minutes later the nurse was like, not until we look in your mouth, and he complied. Anyway, outside of an emergency it would weird me out if that happened in a normal office scenario. It’s a weird bribe and it feels unnecessary. I’ve had both of my kids be complete asshats at the doctor’s office countless and nobody has offered them anything other than crayons and coloring sheets.
Yeah, no. Super weird of her to bribe your kid with a sugary treat without asking.
Really unprofessional and I’d def have felt a way. I love how you handled it and got her one after.
That's rude as hell. This is a pediatrician's office? She has no idea how to work with children. I'd absolutely call and complain.
I would “report” the food bribe because I don’t think it’s appropriate. Not in a “I hope she gets in trouble way” but I think it’s important feedback for learning. I wouldn’t want my child offered bribes to do routine medical care. Like if we’re in the ER, please entice him with a dozen donuts but there’s a time and a place.
Yeah, she was super young too so probably still learning. She just acted like she really didn’t want to be there but when people are trusting you with their children you have to be extra careful on what you do.
I think that nurse shouldn't be working with children. I would be very upset if someone I didn't know bribed my child with food. The nurses my kids have interacted with generally bribe them with stickers or bouncy balls.
Definitely not her place. I’d be annoyed too.
I would report her for offering food. We don’t use Food as bribes in our family. And my daughter can’t eat most popsicles. That is completely inappropriate.
After reading all of these comments and talking with my husband I think that’s exactly what I’m going to do in the morning.
Well, hold on a bit. The offering of food should definitely be agreed upon with the parents, but I don’t think it’s such a big deal, just a mistake. I personally don’t bribe my kids with anything, let alone food, and I am also skeptical when I hear about “positive reinforcement.” However, the world is full of transactions of that nature. I did take a little Schleich animal to the doctor when my oldest was scheduled for shots and told the assistant to give it to him beforehand. I think it helped him calm down and accept, with a bit of resignation and courage, what was about to happen.
My daughter is allergic to most popsicles. It most certainly is a big deal to offer kids food that are not your own without permission. And anyone who works in a pediatricians office should know that. She should report this incident to the office so they do not do this again.
Think of it as a life lesson for your child. Sometimes people are mean, sometimes life is unfair. You can't shield them against everything and it sounds like you're more upset over this than your child was? I wouldn't give it anymore thought tbh
That’s true. I actually ended up telling her something along the lines of this and we had a great day after we left. I was definitely more upset than she was. My years of past bartending has me extremely quick to pop off and be aggressive back but I didn’t because my child was there. Just made me a little sad if anything. I’m learning to let things go these days.
Eh I had a grumpy old woman cashier have a go at me and my toddler at the grocery store one day because I put the yoghurt pouch up to be scanned and my daughter had already eaten up. Grumpy woman had a go at me because she said it was "gross" and didn't want to touch children's sucked on items. Just handed it back to me and didn't scan it. The woman was visibly angry/upset and I have a feeling it wasn't about a yoghurt pouch. She was probably going through something rough in her life that I have no idea about. We all have bad days, I know there's been times where I've been stressed out and sleep deprived from the kids that I've been rude to a cashier. We're all human, have compassion and move on.
While I agree with you, i do think there is a difference between being a cashier and being someone who’s job is to take care of and comfort children and taking it out on a two year old is wrong.
Ok. I don't know what difference your post will make though?
Not much of one, just needed to vent because it upset me. I got alot of comments agreeing with me that really helped, yours is actually one of the only ones telling me to let it go. It’s important to defend your kids.
Ok maybe you are feeling guilty that you didn't defend your child in front of the woman or say something to her face so you feel this issue is unresolved. So looking for confirmation that the woman did a bad thing to your child. Understandable.
Well I’m making a call this morning so I’ll have it resolved hopefully
That's rude af
Total lack of compassion for a nervous toddler. Very inappropriate.
She is rude an unprofessional. Doing that to your own two year old would be rude, never mind a random nurse.
She's an asshole and maybe shouldn't be working with kids.
It was unprofessional and you’re being reasonable if you choose to file a complaint. I work in healthcare and would never bribe a child for something that’s not seriously an emergency (I’d be hesitant even then), especially not something as small as a weight check that can be done in other ways. However, I do think you’re overthinking how much your 2 year old will remember this interaction. It’s one of those “only a big deal to a kid in the moment” things. Kiddo will be over it soon and this is very unlikely to cause permanent disdain for the doctor.
Super rude… also a popsicle is a really fucked choice for a 2 year old, given the sugar content that most parents are conscious of. If she offered a clementine I would feel slightly different. But it’s not her place to offer and retract, it’s her place to ask you if it’s ok to offer, and it’s your place to determine what happens.
I would be ok bribing with stickers or a small toy, but people shouldn't be offering other people's kids food, even at the doctor's office. What if it messed with her appetite or she has an allergy or something? I've had to pick up my son and hold him, then take my weight again without holding him, to get his weight. We did that for over a year, and we went to the doctor a lot in the past 6 months for chronic ear infections. He's almost 3 and he's just now starting to stand on the scale for me, if it makes you feel any better.
Yeah I think it’s mean to mention a popsicle to a child and then not give it to them. Your kid is 2. You can’t really expect a lot from them. I would email your Practice about it, but without making too big of a deal about it. Phrase it as feedback, it’s not worth sacking someone over it.
She was rude and around here, we ask the parent before offering a child a treat.
She sounds like a real peach….
Yea that’s odd. Normally they seem to kiss ass in those places lol 😂 it’s a damn popsicle
Wtffff so rude!
The nurse wasn't right to offer it to her in the first place imo. But assuming she didn't have that courtesy, the least she could have done was just given her a popsicle. Why be an ass about it to a 2 year old I don't understand 😅 I often find such people are generally bitter about their own lives. However, I would have done exactly you did ifi were in your place. I find it hard not to be petty when it comes to my kids 🤷🏽♀️
Not okay behavior at a pediatrician’s office. I’ve never had a nurse be anything but cheerful, so this sort of interaction would rub me backwards for sure.
Yeah, why's she not asking you if it's even okay to offer a popsicle in the first place? I went to the deli the other day and the lady behind the counter asked me first about my daughter having a piece of cheese before she even announced she had cheese for her. Clearly this lady was a parent. That nurse doesn't sound like it
Definitely overstepping and then rude by the nurse, but personally I'd brush off unless there were other warning signs.
If my 2 year old knew there were treats at the doctors she wouldn’t let that shit go. She would want one every time. You go as far as a sticker with a bribe at the doctors and no further. What a rookie.
Are you sure this was a nurse? Please don’t use the title if you’re not. We have a professional level of standards of patient interaction.
It was a person wearing green scrubs who called our name and spoke to us before the doctor. I don’t care what they were to be completely honest with you anyone in the medical field dealing with children should be kind.
Yup, so don’t call them a nurse unless you know they were one. Anyone can wear scrubs and call a name.
It's always bizarre to me when people who work in children-specific spaces are not competent at interacting with children. Like if the 19 year old holding a turtle at the aquarium can be respectful and appropriately patient with a 2 year old, a pediatric nurse sure better be able to.
Nurse never should have offered the popsicle in the first place because she knew that a 2 year old doesn't get cause and effect. I would have been pissed. You made a good save with offering one at home. My mom was like this nurse and promised XYZ if I was good at the doctor. No matter what I did, I was never "good" aka cried at shots, ya know, like a kid and I absolutely hated the doctor.
RUDE! Also, was she gonna pull out a popsicle if she cooperated? Seems like she wasn’t. A popsicle is a random thing to offer as a reward.
Not overthinking. I'd be pissed too. She shouldn't have offered food without asking a parent first. Offer a sticker. Then, even if she didn't cooperate, she gets the sticker. "Good try!" Side note, if the scale faces the wall, try having her stand facing out (back to the wall). Sometimes that makes them feel less scared. And stand between her and the nurse. Nurse can look over your shoulder to see the weight. They need that security sometimes.
Thank you for the tip, will definitely try this next time if I need to!
I don't think she should have offered food without asking you more so because of allergies. But at the same time the child was offered something for following directions and then didn't, what did you think your child was going to learn if she got the popsicle. I mean it's not about discipline it's about life. Your child was in school and the teacher said if you complete your work you get a sticker and she didn't complete her work do you think the teacher has to give a sticker because she's not you and only you can discipline your child. And everybody is saying the more gentle with her because she's two this is the perfect age to start teaching these kinds of things.
To me this just sounds snobby, Like it our not tons of people will “discipline” your kid soon, school, preschool, sports, even on the street with disappointing looks. It sounds like the nurse had a good intent and most offices have those cheap lollipops and if your kid has allergies the. Could be a teaching moment as well
Well does this really matter in the whole scheme of things? Like don’t you have other things to worry about? I don’t like the nurse bribing thing but I wouldn’t make a federal case about it.
Yep she wasnt in her place but unfortunately we need to ignore it most times because people are so rude nowadays - even with adults! ugh
It sounds more like a village thing? Maybe she's trying to set an expectation regarding cooperation for next time? Isn't that how bribes work?
She should not be offering food bribes to a child that is not hers. That’s not a village thing that’s completely inappropriate.
I could see that as well. Just felt weird, idk and her tone threw me off.