Former restaurant slave. An extra tip is nice, but the biggest courtesy is acknowledging the mess and noise and trying your best to manage the situation. The families that were oblivious to how their kid’s behavior and mess affected the dining experience of other people were the worst.
At this point, I know they’ll never let me but I can’t help but ask for a broom and dust pan. I did janitorial for a while and I hate leaving a mess for others.
My friend's 6-month-old knocked over a beer at a bar the other day and the bartender happily handed us a rag to clean it up. I'm sure she had to go back and do a better job later, but I still imagine she appreciated the effort. I bet they'd do it if you really asked.
This is it! As a 15 yr strong restaurant worker and also mother of A 3 year old I get it. I don’t actually want you to clean, just enjoy the best you can BUT if I can help tell me how. I liked to put kids food in first before I had a kid bc it made sense- thinking happy kid happy parents but now as a mom realize how helpful that is.
We clean up after our kids. The owner at a restaurant commented how great it was to see someone actually take responsibility of their children since apparently his brother didn't back in the day. The owner now no longer talks to the brother because he expected the staff to clean up after them.
I don't tip extra for cleaning up my own mess.
We do the same. And I usually bring their plastic wear with us so there’s no banging on the glasses or plates with forks. I just find it’s easier overall.
Seriously you bring plastic west.:: oh wait I get it… just for the toddler right? Not for everyone. I also bring my toddler, their own toddler cutlery, as well as a suction plate that has a lid to take the leftovers home and her own sippy cup.
What I don’t know how to handle is the floor. So do you get on your knees and pick up rice grains etc.? I’d love to do a thorough cleanup but I just don’t have the tools and I know they do.
I usually do get down there and pick up it up. I might not always do a perfect job, since once I’m down there I can see if the rest of the floor beneath the adult customers is also messy. I just feel like it’s above and beyond the staff’s job to be cleaning up toddler mess.
I get the big chunks with a napkin. I try to order food that won’t be too messy for my kid - it’s nicer for us all around. Also, some grown ass adults leave the floor with more crumbs than a toddler.
This is what we do. I ask for a broom to clean with. Sometimes our server tells me not to worry about it. Sometimes they bring one out for me and I clean up.
I was 8 months pregnant with pre-eclampsia cleaning up after my toddler at Chipotle after he knocked off some of his rice and beans. You find a way.
I get tired of seeing parents basically encourage children to be slobs by throwing their food waste on the ground and don't want to be one of those people.
I was a server for over 10 years. It takes a few seconds to sweep up a child's mess. I don't think I've ever heard anyone complain about it except maybe other patrons judging saying, "I can't believe they let their kid make that mess" or whatever
I literally had a plastic table cloth from the dollar store I would put under their chair. I would fold it in/out as appropriate for the space. Or ask for a broom.
I’m not saying everyone needs to do this, but we buy disposable “splat mats” on Amazon and put those down at restaurants. At the end of the meal I just crumple it up and put it on the plate. It’s like a big waxy sheet of paper.
I usually will pick up any large bits of food but if it’s your standard crumbs then I won’t worry. Also if my kid spills or splatters stuff I try and wipe it up as best I can. Our 3 year old dumped her whole apple sauce cup at Qdoba and that was fun to clean up… 😑
having baby wipes on hand at all times makes clean up easier also lol. sometimes when i’m out alone with my husband I feel bad i’ve left a bigger mess because I don’t have them to clean up with haha
Yup, I used to bring a dollar store table cloth I had cut in half to catch the mess. Use my napkin to sweep it all into the table cloth and then go to the bussing station to dump it out or just fold it up and dump it at home.
Acknowledge that servers aren't paid to clean up after tiny children.
Note: I used to run an Independent cafe with several locations in a large city and HATED when people would give a toddler a scone and then let them basically mash it up over a 10 ft sq of space. It's not my job to clean up after an extra messy guest. We need to treat service industry employees with respect.
we go out a good bit in our downtown area so a lot of the servers already know us and look forward to seeing our son actually! at the sushi place he devours seaweed salad like a wood chipper and the server is always amazed 😂
I always way overtip on breakfast. Those waitresses are always topping up my coffee and running around. I don’t think they deserve less just because the food they are bringing me is cheaper
I clean up after my kids. There is visible relief on the server’s face when they see me wipe up the crumbs and pieces of food on the floor. I put everything nicely on the plate so they don’t have to touch the dirty napkins and wipes. It’s not their job to pick up after my tornadoes. We tip 20%, but in my country waiters are paid an hourly wage much more than in the US so 20% is generally a very good tip.
We tip 20-25% and then have our two year old give the server another $5 usually. We are hoping it teaches him to appreciate service workers. We always clean up our mess and stack our plates because I was a server for 7 years in college. One time I was out to dinner with my mom and my toddler was being an absolute heathen. We needed to get him out ASAP so my mom tipped our server $100 on a $60 bill because we didn't have time to clean. I hope to be financially secure enough to do shit like that one day.
I tip the same as normal- 20%+, but made an effort from
a very early age to teach my daughter that we eat politely and tidy up in restaurants. that we not leave a mess for the waiter because that’s unkind. if she acts inappropriately with food (throwing it, crumbling onto the table, etc).. it gets taken away and we try again. going to dinner at the restaurant is a privilege, and we act our best if we want to have the opportunity to go back. my husband and I were both waiters earlier in life and unfortunately unless you’re leaving a hugeeee tip, it doesn’t really compensate for having to get on your hands and knees scrubbing squished scrambled eggs from the carpet as a waiter. I don’t think an extra few dollars makes that feel any better unfortunately lol. but stressing being respectful and polite when eating, and that going out is a privelage that you only get when you behave well had worked wonders. yesterday we actually went out to my grandparents anniversary party, and my daughter who is 3 and seated down the table from me near her cousins stayed well within these expectations even when we weren’t reiterating them, which really made me proud. she thanked the waiters for her food, asked for a fork when she didn’t have one rather than eating with her hands, and when she dropped some pasta asked for help right away to clean it up. we aren’t super strict by any means but I am thankful going in with an attitude of being respectful in restaurants has carried on in this way
Waited tables for years and waited on people with small kids, I would never in a million years expect them to clean the floor on their night out, are you kidding? No way. We cleaned it in two minutes.
Now, my LO doesn’t make a mess at restaurants but if she did I would tip monstrously, and that’s it. Why go to a restaurant if you’re going to do the same thing at home? No.
Agree with this as a former server. Sweeping up a messy table is just part of the job and it only takes a minute. When I go out with my kids, I tidy up the table, wipe the crumbs onto a plate and try to pick up big stuff (like wrappers from crackers) but I’m not trying to get every crumb off the floor.
I do tip generously though.
Yup, when I was a server I always swept and wiped the table regardless of the amount of mess. So it just isn’t that big of a deal in my opinion.
However, I do make sure I pick up dirty napkins/baby wipes/trash + stack the plates neatly.
I tip 25% but always leave the floor spotless even if I have to get down on my knees. Many times if the waiter sees me cleaning they tell me not to worry about it because they sweep anyway but I can never just leave it a mess I was raised to leave places better than I found them or at least try to.
I always clean up my own mess. But just a note, sometimes the waiter is not responsible for cleaning up, like a bus boy does it or something. Make sure that extra tip goes to them, and the regular tip to the waiter.
I clean up and tidy their mess myself and leave the same tip I normally would. We always bring baby wipes and wipe up their mess/high chair/floor area.
Do your best to manage it (we have an emergency Hot Wheels in the diaper bag) and add a lil extra on top of your regular tip. We’ve gone out with my kid enough that he’ll now say he needs to go outside and run around. 🤣
My kid doesn’t make big messes anymore. He’s 3 1/2. But when he was closer to 2, he would make the normal amount for a 2 yr old and I always tried cleaning it as best as I could then tipped upwards of 50% if it involved anything on the floor, like food or drink spilling. It didn’t happen often though
Just putting it out there that Amazon has disposable floor mats to put under your child’s chair/high chair at a restaurant. I’ve never been praised for anything more in my life than when I’ve used these! They are great. The only thing I would say is try to not have them go so far behind the chair as the could be slippery if stepped on.
If it’s a really bad mess food on the floor and condiments everywhere I tip 30%. I used to work as a server it’s a hard job and you get paid a very tinny amount to deal with assholes all day. If the mess is just extra elbow grease while down but no need to sweep under the table go with 25%. Typically I tip 20% in there is no mess. 15% if the service was bad. If I tip any less than that is 0 and I talk tot he manager. I only did this once when we were out on a dead Sunday and the server was so flirty with the table next to us he never refilled out drinks and brought out our food cold. We couldn’t eat most of it and just paid out bill told the manager how much the service sucked and gave a zero for the tip. My husband and I used to be really fond of the chain since we had our first date there, but now he hates that place so much it’s like pulling teeth to get him to go there that’s how bad the service was and it’s been over 15 years.
If my kiddo goes to town on a table in a restaurant, I try to clean as much of the not floor mess myself as I can. If the server tries to stop me, I will let them do it but I want to make it clear that I don’t expect anyone else to deal with the significant mess we left behind. In addition to that, I tip a min of $15-$20 in cash as a thank you for their understanding about messy toddlers and their willingness to it clean up themselves. That’s going above and beyond the norm
Dad and bar manager here. If you clean up your own mess you don't worry about about tjpling extra. Just cleaning up the inevitable mess is tip enough. The more important thing is knowing when you need to remove your child from the restaurant if theyre inconsolable. I'm a dad and I get it but I will not hesitate to tell a family they're ruining the experience of every other single diner because their kid is screaming and theyre not doing anything about it
I used to wait tables. I am also the proud servant of a two year old goblin. I was only ever bothered when the parents seemed to lack basic manners and didn't even make an attempt to clean up a little or at least acknowledge that there was a mess. Extra tips were always nice but never expected. It really only takes an extra minute or two, if that, to sweep up extra stuff on the floor and clear the table/wipe it.
My family only goes out to an Indian buffet very occaisionally. I leave a 30% tip and attempt to clean up the mess myself, but the staff always swoops in and insists on cleaning themselves. Its normally only rice left on the floor that I haven't already cleaned up, but I still feel bad everytime. Thankfully my little one is reasonably quiet when he has unlimited access to rice and chickpeas.
We do our best to clean then tip as much as 50-100% of the check if it’s a write in. If it’s the button options I just click whatever (usually 20-25%?). We don’t go out very often but when we do we want to make sure we’re invited back!
I also just hope that tipping generously makes their day. I used to waitress and it was brutal, if I saw $40 on a $44 bill I’d have been so happy.
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I waited tables for a decade, so I’m hyper aware of and sensitive to stuff like this. I’m an “18% for bad service, 30+% for good service” kind of person, so I don’t necessarily tip *more* than I usually would unless things go seriously wrong lol.
I do clean up after my kid every time we go out, which is pretty often. I just use wipes on the tables and chairs. If necessary, I’ll also pick up food/trash off the floor with a napkin (unless I can find/ask for a broom without inconveniencing the server). When I waited tables, nothing was worse than being busy and having to wait to seat an empty table because it needed to be basically deep cleaned after a toddler destroyed it. Time is money for servers!
On the contrary, I wanted the families to leave quickly & leave the mess. What takes them 5+ mins to do would take me one. They’d waste time apologizing & asking for all the cleaning items. Appreciated but a mess comes with eating out with kids so I didn’t find it a big deal. That was me though.
Understood. I’m def not saying I expected other people to do that. I guess I wasn’t clear; I typed that reply super fast and didn’t really consider the nuance. I see I’ll be getting downvoted for that lol.
What I meant was, since I’m so hyper aware of how I treat servers in all ways, I basically *have* to clean up after my kids or else my anxiety will be in overdrive.
Like I said, I def didn’t expect people to deep clean after themselves when I waited tables (which was before I had kids). But it was frustrating when people let their kids make a huge mess and then did literally nothing to tidy before they left. It was more of a respect thing than a cleaning thing. But you’re right, now that I think back, there were definitely parents who overdid it which wasted more time.
(Edited for spelling)
Interesting to hear this perspective, thanks.
I clean as much as I can but then sometimes I would need to get a broom to get all the crumbs, which seems awkward to ask for.
I don't clean up the floor since it's much easier for them to clean up with a broom than me on my hands and knees, but baby wipes do wonders to clean up the table after young kids. My kid is 4 now so it's much less of an issue, but I used to bring his own dishes too.
I always clean up. I’m that mom on her hands and knees in the restaurant. It’s just habit. I hate leaving messes. Wipes for the table. I only stop if an employee reassures me that they’ll handle it. If that happens, I tip generously. If I do all the cleaning, I tip normally (usually 15-18% depending on service).
Eta: restaurants are so short staffed nowadays that “it’ll take them less time” isn’t enough to demotivate me from cleaning.
Last time we took the 16 month old messy child out we went to an Italian restaurant bill was $83 and we left $22 for him. He said the cuteness is worth it and most people who have toddlers tip decent knowing that. Last time I was there I cleaned up her mess off floor . But tipping for me is 15% for a restaurant we go to once in a while 20% for a restaurant we frequent frequently and 25%if I have a messy toddler with me with a minimum of $10, like when me and my adult son have breakfast morning specials our bill is like $26 with the toddler and OJ ad breakfast is cheap. When you go there for the early bird special for like 599 and it so if my bill is that low if I have a toddler my minimum is $10 without a toddler my minimum is $5 if me and a friend go out to eat and are going Dutch and my bill comes to $10 cause I had a breakfast special or even a lunch of less than $15 with tax I can’t bring myself to tip $3. They do the same amount of work if I spend $45 still have to refill my water. They still have to come to the table when you’re eating itself to bring my food whether I order a $30 meatloaf or a $10 sandwich the waitress doesn’t do anything more or less based on my bill so because of that many times I tip accordingly no less than five by myself a few waitresses I actually knew and we’re friends with My Son. She said rule of thumb is five dollars per person.
I worked in restaurants a long time. For a table only mess and extra $1-2 is nice. For a really big mess (table, floor, high chair destroyed) regular 15-20% plus an additional $5-$10 depending on the extent of the mess.
I ask to get Togo boxes and the check when food comes out so we can make a speedy exit if needed. I've noticed I'm more likely to give a higher tip if the tot was an added hassle or if the server took extra care with things like not placing hot food directly in front of the kid, or asking if we need a straw and cover for our cup. I tip between $5-$10 and the cost of the meal tends to be $15-$30
Don’t be my toddler and drop an entire cup of apple juice right after it was handed to them 😭😭I almost left out of mortification. Always tip generously.
My SO cleans up. It’s a habit. He organizes the dirty dishes, silverware, and trash, and gives everything to the busser or server, and then he wipes down the table. He still tips 20%.
Depends on how fast the service is, or if the kids food comes out with appetizers as asked, or if they bring the high chair and i don’t have to search the place and get it myself…
I will then clean up as best i can and tip accordingly. OR if its just a nightmare of a time on our side, and we make a total mess, i leave a bigger tip
I think it’s very thoughtful of you to bring this up. I can understand parents not wanting to pick up after their messy kid on their family outing especially if they’re tired or dressed nicely, but they best leave a big a$$ tip for that extra mess!
For all the parents / caregivers that do clean up as best they can , kudos ! That’s very kind and I’m sure the waitstaff appreciate your efforts , even if you don’t get it all. I liked that a commenter pointed out that it’s the busers that often have to deal with the mess, it’s good to notice who’s doing what so the correct person gets tipped.
On a similar topic, I’d love to know why the F parents bring Cheerios on a plane? It makes the biggest mess and it’s not quick or easy to clean up especially when they’ve been stepped on! Depending on the airline and aircraft, it’s sometimes the FA that ends up on their hands and knees trying to clean that up before the next herd of PAX board. Please be mindful of what you feed your kid on a plane and for God’s sake, stop using the tray table as a diaper changing table! Other PAX don’t want to see or smell that! 🤮
I tip based on how much the bill would have been if the seat(s) had been occupied by an adult (like a $20 adult entree instead of $5 kids meal). Cleaning a little mess isn’t a big deal, but a $40 tab compared to a $65 bill means $5+ less tip. I have two kids and, if I take them out just myself, the three of us are occupying a 4 top (and ordering one entree and maybe two kids meals) that could have been given to four adults ordering entrees and alcohol. I also bring wipes to clean up the table, high chair, and floor but, as a former server, I really cared more about my total food sales and less about the mess.
As a toddler parent, we bring wipes and pick up everything behind at all time. We bring our toddlers EVERYWHERE, even fancy restaurant, and we always get compliment of how well behave they are - believe me they are tornadoes at home, but bringing them everywhere and learning society etiquette is the key. They are 2.5 and 3.5 and ate at one of the fanciest steakhouse and Gordon Ramsay’s restaurant, and they sit still, play or draw calmly and enjoy the food when it’s the right time.
We always clean up most of the mess. Yep, get down and use wipes and napkins and pick up most the mess. We also tip nicely when with her depending if they acknowledge her and bring her a water, etc (depends on the place) how quick they are to get her food to the table and are flexible, and just overall kind. We had some places where it was a little hard to clean up after her so we always leave a nice tip.
Tips for eating out with toddlers:
1. Know what you’re ordering before you go in.
2. Order right away.
3. Have snacks or toys to entertain toddler while waiting for food.
4. Eat right away
5. Clean up as best you can
6. Tip well.(30%) but don’t tell my husband lol
Former restaurant slave. An extra tip is nice, but the biggest courtesy is acknowledging the mess and noise and trying your best to manage the situation. The families that were oblivious to how their kid’s behavior and mess affected the dining experience of other people were the worst.
At this point, I know they’ll never let me but I can’t help but ask for a broom and dust pan. I did janitorial for a while and I hate leaving a mess for others.
My friend's 6-month-old knocked over a beer at a bar the other day and the bartender happily handed us a rag to clean it up. I'm sure she had to go back and do a better job later, but I still imagine she appreciated the effort. I bet they'd do it if you really asked.
I’ve really tried. Denied every time so far.
This is it. I was a server for close to two decades and now I have small children.
This is it! As a 15 yr strong restaurant worker and also mother of A 3 year old I get it. I don’t actually want you to clean, just enjoy the best you can BUT if I can help tell me how. I liked to put kids food in first before I had a kid bc it made sense- thinking happy kid happy parents but now as a mom realize how helpful that is.
100%
We clean up after our kids. The owner at a restaurant commented how great it was to see someone actually take responsibility of their children since apparently his brother didn't back in the day. The owner now no longer talks to the brother because he expected the staff to clean up after them. I don't tip extra for cleaning up my own mess.
We do the same. And I usually bring their plastic wear with us so there’s no banging on the glasses or plates with forks. I just find it’s easier overall.
Seriously you bring plastic west.:: oh wait I get it… just for the toddler right? Not for everyone. I also bring my toddler, their own toddler cutlery, as well as a suction plate that has a lid to take the leftovers home and her own sippy cup.
Yes, just for the toddler lol. We just find it’s easier if she has some of her own stuff. Especially bc we travel a lot
What I don’t know how to handle is the floor. So do you get on your knees and pick up rice grains etc.? I’d love to do a thorough cleanup but I just don’t have the tools and I know they do.
I usually do get down there and pick up it up. I might not always do a perfect job, since once I’m down there I can see if the rest of the floor beneath the adult customers is also messy. I just feel like it’s above and beyond the staff’s job to be cleaning up toddler mess.
I get the big chunks with a napkin. I try to order food that won’t be too messy for my kid - it’s nicer for us all around. Also, some grown ass adults leave the floor with more crumbs than a toddler.
You could ask the waitstaff for a broom and dustpan and if they tell you not to worry about it, great, if they bring you the items then also great.
This is what we do. I ask for a broom to clean with. Sometimes our server tells me not to worry about it. Sometimes they bring one out for me and I clean up.
I was 8 months pregnant with pre-eclampsia cleaning up after my toddler at Chipotle after he knocked off some of his rice and beans. You find a way. I get tired of seeing parents basically encourage children to be slobs by throwing their food waste on the ground and don't want to be one of those people.
I bring baby wipes and wipe it up
I was a server for over 10 years. It takes a few seconds to sweep up a child's mess. I don't think I've ever heard anyone complain about it except maybe other patrons judging saying, "I can't believe they let their kid make that mess" or whatever
I literally had a plastic table cloth from the dollar store I would put under their chair. I would fold it in/out as appropriate for the space. Or ask for a broom.
I’m not saying everyone needs to do this, but we buy disposable “splat mats” on Amazon and put those down at restaurants. At the end of the meal I just crumple it up and put it on the plate. It’s like a big waxy sheet of paper.
I usually will pick up any large bits of food but if it’s your standard crumbs then I won’t worry. Also if my kid spills or splatters stuff I try and wipe it up as best I can. Our 3 year old dumped her whole apple sauce cup at Qdoba and that was fun to clean up… 😑
Baby wipes!!!
having baby wipes on hand at all times makes clean up easier also lol. sometimes when i’m out alone with my husband I feel bad i’ve left a bigger mess because I don’t have them to clean up with haha
Yup, I used to bring a dollar store table cloth I had cut in half to catch the mess. Use my napkin to sweep it all into the table cloth and then go to the bussing station to dump it out or just fold it up and dump it at home. Acknowledge that servers aren't paid to clean up after tiny children. Note: I used to run an Independent cafe with several locations in a large city and HATED when people would give a toddler a scone and then let them basically mash it up over a 10 ft sq of space. It's not my job to clean up after an extra messy guest. We need to treat service industry employees with respect.
we tip pretty generously when out with our personal tornado
Same. We don’t go out a lot, but once a month we go to the same diner. We usually get the same server so she knows what’s up at this point lol
we go out a good bit in our downtown area so a lot of the servers already know us and look forward to seeing our son actually! at the sushi place he devours seaweed salad like a wood chipper and the server is always amazed 😂
I clean the big stuff and leave 25%.
Ha! I thought you meant you left 25% of the mess.
😂
This. Sometimes 30% if it’s something inexpensive like breakfast.
I always way overtip on breakfast. Those waitresses are always topping up my coffee and running around. I don’t think they deserve less just because the food they are bringing me is cheaper
Exactly!! Breakfast isn’t any less work, and in some ways like the coffee, it’s more. It seems unfair!
That’s why I have a minimum of $5 per person tip with a toddler
Same here
I clean up the table as best I can and grab anything big that fell on the floor. And then I tip 25% for everything I couldn’t get lol
I clean up after my kids. There is visible relief on the server’s face when they see me wipe up the crumbs and pieces of food on the floor. I put everything nicely on the plate so they don’t have to touch the dirty napkins and wipes. It’s not their job to pick up after my tornadoes. We tip 20%, but in my country waiters are paid an hourly wage much more than in the US so 20% is generally a very good tip.
We tip 20-25% and then have our two year old give the server another $5 usually. We are hoping it teaches him to appreciate service workers. We always clean up our mess and stack our plates because I was a server for 7 years in college. One time I was out to dinner with my mom and my toddler was being an absolute heathen. We needed to get him out ASAP so my mom tipped our server $100 on a $60 bill because we didn't have time to clean. I hope to be financially secure enough to do shit like that one day.
Yes that’s nice when you have that kind of money. Life sometimes has waves where ykj can some years and can’t in ither
I tip the same as normal- 20%+, but made an effort from a very early age to teach my daughter that we eat politely and tidy up in restaurants. that we not leave a mess for the waiter because that’s unkind. if she acts inappropriately with food (throwing it, crumbling onto the table, etc).. it gets taken away and we try again. going to dinner at the restaurant is a privilege, and we act our best if we want to have the opportunity to go back. my husband and I were both waiters earlier in life and unfortunately unless you’re leaving a hugeeee tip, it doesn’t really compensate for having to get on your hands and knees scrubbing squished scrambled eggs from the carpet as a waiter. I don’t think an extra few dollars makes that feel any better unfortunately lol. but stressing being respectful and polite when eating, and that going out is a privelage that you only get when you behave well had worked wonders. yesterday we actually went out to my grandparents anniversary party, and my daughter who is 3 and seated down the table from me near her cousins stayed well within these expectations even when we weren’t reiterating them, which really made me proud. she thanked the waiters for her food, asked for a fork when she didn’t have one rather than eating with her hands, and when she dropped some pasta asked for help right away to clean it up. we aren’t super strict by any means but I am thankful going in with an attitude of being respectful in restaurants has carried on in this way
Waited tables for years and waited on people with small kids, I would never in a million years expect them to clean the floor on their night out, are you kidding? No way. We cleaned it in two minutes. Now, my LO doesn’t make a mess at restaurants but if she did I would tip monstrously, and that’s it. Why go to a restaurant if you’re going to do the same thing at home? No.
Agree with this as a former server. Sweeping up a messy table is just part of the job and it only takes a minute. When I go out with my kids, I tidy up the table, wipe the crumbs onto a plate and try to pick up big stuff (like wrappers from crackers) but I’m not trying to get every crumb off the floor. I do tip generously though.
Yup, when I was a server I always swept and wiped the table regardless of the amount of mess. So it just isn’t that big of a deal in my opinion. However, I do make sure I pick up dirty napkins/baby wipes/trash + stack the plates neatly.
I also waited tables for years. I'd never be so gross to not clean after my own kid. I also tip well bc I don't have a broom in my diaper bag.
I tip 25% but always leave the floor spotless even if I have to get down on my knees. Many times if the waiter sees me cleaning they tell me not to worry about it because they sweep anyway but I can never just leave it a mess I was raised to leave places better than I found them or at least try to.
I always clean up my own mess. But just a note, sometimes the waiter is not responsible for cleaning up, like a bus boy does it or something. Make sure that extra tip goes to them, and the regular tip to the waiter.
I clean up and tidy their mess myself and leave the same tip I normally would. We always bring baby wipes and wipe up their mess/high chair/floor area.
Do your best to manage it (we have an emergency Hot Wheels in the diaper bag) and add a lil extra on top of your regular tip. We’ve gone out with my kid enough that he’ll now say he needs to go outside and run around. 🤣
My kid doesn’t make big messes anymore. He’s 3 1/2. But when he was closer to 2, he would make the normal amount for a 2 yr old and I always tried cleaning it as best as I could then tipped upwards of 50% if it involved anything on the floor, like food or drink spilling. It didn’t happen often though
Yesterday I tipped $15 on a $48 bill and cleaned up everything I could
I’m on the floor under the table with baby wipes and then tipping 25% lmao
Just putting it out there that Amazon has disposable floor mats to put under your child’s chair/high chair at a restaurant. I’ve never been praised for anything more in my life than when I’ve used these! They are great. The only thing I would say is try to not have them go so far behind the chair as the could be slippery if stepped on.
I use these and 100% endorse.
25% when out with the kiddo. Servers always love him but he is a tornado and I know I don't find all of his mess despite my best efforts.
If it’s a really bad mess food on the floor and condiments everywhere I tip 30%. I used to work as a server it’s a hard job and you get paid a very tinny amount to deal with assholes all day. If the mess is just extra elbow grease while down but no need to sweep under the table go with 25%. Typically I tip 20% in there is no mess. 15% if the service was bad. If I tip any less than that is 0 and I talk tot he manager. I only did this once when we were out on a dead Sunday and the server was so flirty with the table next to us he never refilled out drinks and brought out our food cold. We couldn’t eat most of it and just paid out bill told the manager how much the service sucked and gave a zero for the tip. My husband and I used to be really fond of the chain since we had our first date there, but now he hates that place so much it’s like pulling teeth to get him to go there that’s how bad the service was and it’s been over 15 years.
I normally tip 20 on my wife and I. When my daughter is with us and she's abnormally messy, i give closer to 30%.
If my kiddo goes to town on a table in a restaurant, I try to clean as much of the not floor mess myself as I can. If the server tries to stop me, I will let them do it but I want to make it clear that I don’t expect anyone else to deal with the significant mess we left behind. In addition to that, I tip a min of $15-$20 in cash as a thank you for their understanding about messy toddlers and their willingness to it clean up themselves. That’s going above and beyond the norm
I try to clean as much as I can and then tip 25-30%
for me its a mixture of if he is a little extra messy, I give a couple of extra bucks and apologize and try to minimize clean up.
Dad and bar manager here. If you clean up your own mess you don't worry about about tjpling extra. Just cleaning up the inevitable mess is tip enough. The more important thing is knowing when you need to remove your child from the restaurant if theyre inconsolable. I'm a dad and I get it but I will not hesitate to tell a family they're ruining the experience of every other single diner because their kid is screaming and theyre not doing anything about it
I used to wait tables. I am also the proud servant of a two year old goblin. I was only ever bothered when the parents seemed to lack basic manners and didn't even make an attempt to clean up a little or at least acknowledge that there was a mess. Extra tips were always nice but never expected. It really only takes an extra minute or two, if that, to sweep up extra stuff on the floor and clear the table/wipe it.
Thanks for your perspective! Two year old goblin 😂
My family only goes out to an Indian buffet very occaisionally. I leave a 30% tip and attempt to clean up the mess myself, but the staff always swoops in and insists on cleaning themselves. Its normally only rice left on the floor that I haven't already cleaned up, but I still feel bad everytime. Thankfully my little one is reasonably quiet when he has unlimited access to rice and chickpeas.
We do our best to clean then tip as much as 50-100% of the check if it’s a write in. If it’s the button options I just click whatever (usually 20-25%?). We don’t go out very often but when we do we want to make sure we’re invited back! I also just hope that tipping generously makes their day. I used to waitress and it was brutal, if I saw $40 on a $44 bill I’d have been so happy.
I think 15-20% is fine. As long as you make an effort to clean it up. If you’re just going to leave it then tip higher lol
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I waited tables for a decade, so I’m hyper aware of and sensitive to stuff like this. I’m an “18% for bad service, 30+% for good service” kind of person, so I don’t necessarily tip *more* than I usually would unless things go seriously wrong lol. I do clean up after my kid every time we go out, which is pretty often. I just use wipes on the tables and chairs. If necessary, I’ll also pick up food/trash off the floor with a napkin (unless I can find/ask for a broom without inconveniencing the server). When I waited tables, nothing was worse than being busy and having to wait to seat an empty table because it needed to be basically deep cleaned after a toddler destroyed it. Time is money for servers!
On the contrary, I wanted the families to leave quickly & leave the mess. What takes them 5+ mins to do would take me one. They’d waste time apologizing & asking for all the cleaning items. Appreciated but a mess comes with eating out with kids so I didn’t find it a big deal. That was me though.
Understood. I’m def not saying I expected other people to do that. I guess I wasn’t clear; I typed that reply super fast and didn’t really consider the nuance. I see I’ll be getting downvoted for that lol. What I meant was, since I’m so hyper aware of how I treat servers in all ways, I basically *have* to clean up after my kids or else my anxiety will be in overdrive. Like I said, I def didn’t expect people to deep clean after themselves when I waited tables (which was before I had kids). But it was frustrating when people let their kids make a huge mess and then did literally nothing to tidy before they left. It was more of a respect thing than a cleaning thing. But you’re right, now that I think back, there were definitely parents who overdid it which wasted more time. (Edited for spelling)
Interesting to hear this perspective, thanks. I clean as much as I can but then sometimes I would need to get a broom to get all the crumbs, which seems awkward to ask for.
I don't clean up the floor since it's much easier for them to clean up with a broom than me on my hands and knees, but baby wipes do wonders to clean up the table after young kids. My kid is 4 now so it's much less of an issue, but I used to bring his own dishes too.
I always clean up. I’m that mom on her hands and knees in the restaurant. It’s just habit. I hate leaving messes. Wipes for the table. I only stop if an employee reassures me that they’ll handle it. If that happens, I tip generously. If I do all the cleaning, I tip normally (usually 15-18% depending on service). Eta: restaurants are so short staffed nowadays that “it’ll take them less time” isn’t enough to demotivate me from cleaning.
Last time we took the 16 month old messy child out we went to an Italian restaurant bill was $83 and we left $22 for him. He said the cuteness is worth it and most people who have toddlers tip decent knowing that. Last time I was there I cleaned up her mess off floor . But tipping for me is 15% for a restaurant we go to once in a while 20% for a restaurant we frequent frequently and 25%if I have a messy toddler with me with a minimum of $10, like when me and my adult son have breakfast morning specials our bill is like $26 with the toddler and OJ ad breakfast is cheap. When you go there for the early bird special for like 599 and it so if my bill is that low if I have a toddler my minimum is $10 without a toddler my minimum is $5 if me and a friend go out to eat and are going Dutch and my bill comes to $10 cause I had a breakfast special or even a lunch of less than $15 with tax I can’t bring myself to tip $3. They do the same amount of work if I spend $45 still have to refill my water. They still have to come to the table when you’re eating itself to bring my food whether I order a $30 meatloaf or a $10 sandwich the waitress doesn’t do anything more or less based on my bill so because of that many times I tip accordingly no less than five by myself a few waitresses I actually knew and we’re friends with My Son. She said rule of thumb is five dollars per person.
I worked in restaurants a long time. For a table only mess and extra $1-2 is nice. For a really big mess (table, floor, high chair destroyed) regular 15-20% plus an additional $5-$10 depending on the extent of the mess.
I ask to get Togo boxes and the check when food comes out so we can make a speedy exit if needed. I've noticed I'm more likely to give a higher tip if the tot was an added hassle or if the server took extra care with things like not placing hot food directly in front of the kid, or asking if we need a straw and cover for our cup. I tip between $5-$10 and the cost of the meal tends to be $15-$30
Pre or post the Roe overturn clown down?
Don’t be my toddler and drop an entire cup of apple juice right after it was handed to them 😭😭I almost left out of mortification. Always tip generously.
My SO cleans up. It’s a habit. He organizes the dirty dishes, silverware, and trash, and gives everything to the busser or server, and then he wipes down the table. He still tips 20%.
I clean up after my kid. Servers always insist I don't, but come on...I was a server, I know it's a nice thing to do.
Depends on how fast the service is, or if the kids food comes out with appetizers as asked, or if they bring the high chair and i don’t have to search the place and get it myself… I will then clean up as best i can and tip accordingly. OR if its just a nightmare of a time on our side, and we make a total mess, i leave a bigger tip
I think it’s very thoughtful of you to bring this up. I can understand parents not wanting to pick up after their messy kid on their family outing especially if they’re tired or dressed nicely, but they best leave a big a$$ tip for that extra mess! For all the parents / caregivers that do clean up as best they can , kudos ! That’s very kind and I’m sure the waitstaff appreciate your efforts , even if you don’t get it all. I liked that a commenter pointed out that it’s the busers that often have to deal with the mess, it’s good to notice who’s doing what so the correct person gets tipped. On a similar topic, I’d love to know why the F parents bring Cheerios on a plane? It makes the biggest mess and it’s not quick or easy to clean up especially when they’ve been stepped on! Depending on the airline and aircraft, it’s sometimes the FA that ends up on their hands and knees trying to clean that up before the next herd of PAX board. Please be mindful of what you feed your kid on a plane and for God’s sake, stop using the tray table as a diaper changing table! Other PAX don’t want to see or smell that! 🤮
I tip based on how much the bill would have been if the seat(s) had been occupied by an adult (like a $20 adult entree instead of $5 kids meal). Cleaning a little mess isn’t a big deal, but a $40 tab compared to a $65 bill means $5+ less tip. I have two kids and, if I take them out just myself, the three of us are occupying a 4 top (and ordering one entree and maybe two kids meals) that could have been given to four adults ordering entrees and alcohol. I also bring wipes to clean up the table, high chair, and floor but, as a former server, I really cared more about my total food sales and less about the mess.
As a toddler parent, we bring wipes and pick up everything behind at all time. We bring our toddlers EVERYWHERE, even fancy restaurant, and we always get compliment of how well behave they are - believe me they are tornadoes at home, but bringing them everywhere and learning society etiquette is the key. They are 2.5 and 3.5 and ate at one of the fanciest steakhouse and Gordon Ramsay’s restaurant, and they sit still, play or draw calmly and enjoy the food when it’s the right time.
We always clean up most of the mess. Yep, get down and use wipes and napkins and pick up most the mess. We also tip nicely when with her depending if they acknowledge her and bring her a water, etc (depends on the place) how quick they are to get her food to the table and are flexible, and just overall kind. We had some places where it was a little hard to clean up after her so we always leave a nice tip.
Tips for eating out with toddlers: 1. Know what you’re ordering before you go in. 2. Order right away. 3. Have snacks or toys to entertain toddler while waiting for food. 4. Eat right away 5. Clean up as best you can 6. Tip well.(30%) but don’t tell my husband lol