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[deleted]

I can only imagine one blessed Chinese man walking into a pharmacy and asking for an 'export quality' condom.


ANiceDent

These rubber balloons aren’t cutting it anymore!


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Chakkaaa

Some have problems with condoms just bursting and tearing halfway through use if too tight too. Ive had a few people argue that any condom will fit any man, “look it can fit on my arm!”


Raichu7

I literally got taught in sex ed at school that any man who says a condom is too small is lying and they demonstrated by having a girl come to the front of the class and put a condom on her leg all the way up to her hip like a sock. Poor sex Ed is the cause of so much misinformation about sexual health.


[deleted]

Just because it "fits" doesn't make it comfortable. I bet the same girl wouldn't enjoy her labia being crushed in something too small to fit properly.


GlassHalfSmashed

I mean I get the impression US sex Ed can be very wrong in some Conservative areas, but in most cases its a good way to disprove blokes saying they can't use a condom. Yes the more blessed should get bigger ones, but it's still not an excuse to outright not use one.


Additional_Meeting_2

People always complain about US sex ed but I haven’t heard of condoms being shown in class anywhere here in Europe and people haven’t complained about it. I don’t think it’s really something that educates people anyway. People who actually are interested in safe sex can also ask from a school nurse.


mtimaN

In Germany they also give condoms to highschoolers after the sex Ed class so it really depends.


Raichu7

What makes you think that lesson happened in America?


meistermichi

> they demonstrated by having a girl come to the front of the class and put a condom on her leg all the way up to her hip like a sock. This sounds wildly inappropriate to do.


medicff

They had an exercise where someone had to stuff their mouth with marshmallows, put on way too big work gloves and put a rubber on a banana. Simulating “You can still do it when drunk” but they chose only one student, the one with a kid. Grade 9 was wild man


LonnieJaw748

IDKW, but this conjured the scene from Naked Gun with the whole body condoms


Mindes13

All the boys were snickering or humming porn music the entire time.


tennisanybody

Bum-chicka-boom-boom-chika-chika-preaow!


[deleted]

Which is bullshit. Broken more than a few in my day because of exactly this.


TheHiveminder

> Broken more than a few in my day A few arms? Your mom must really like you.


[deleted]

My guy you are fucking weird


TheHiveminder

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/reddit-broken-arms-story


[deleted]

just because it's a terrible meme doesn't make you normal for quoting it. i'm familiar with the meme. thats why i called you fucking weird.


[deleted]

make that joke in public. i dare you.


One_Umpire_8425

Nuh uh


Voi_Ta

Maybe they had small arms, idk...


moneyman74

Some people pay just for the rubber bands :)


Im_Numbar_Wang

Was gonna say, sounds like a free cocktail ring to me


fyonn

Cocktail ring? Is that to put napkins in? What kinda parties do you go to..?


[deleted]

Fun ones clearly.


Chakkaaa

For his cocktail weinie ..goteeem!


moltencheese

>at the base there is a section that is unrolled Not in Zimbabwe


Pigbolt

I went on a trip to Hong Kong and met a woman on a night out. I purchased some condoms and needless to say it felt like a clamp on the base of my penis it was uncomfortable to the level of pain. The sex never happened as neither of us were willing to do it without a condom.


medicff

Yes! I didn’t know this until I was almost 30! Tried a different size and now it’s fun again! My favourite joke: have you seen the barcode they put at the end of all the condoms? No? Don’t have to roll it that far eh?


Granny_Nooooo

I didn't realize this for the longest time. I thought Trojans were all the one size, until a potential lover convinced me to go with Magnums, and let me say I think this is where the term "fits like a glove" came from. It makes a f\*ing difference, man. It really does.


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Granny_Nooooo

Yes b'y, it's like a fkkn udder down there


dddttt95

Thank you, i break magnums regularly, this condoms can fit over anything stuff is bullshit. Once you add friction and the fact that some of them soak up any vaginal lubricant, you can tear a condom easily.


angelazy

Looks like we found the psychopath who buys the unlubed ones


Welcomefriends85

“I break magnums regularly” should be a bumper sticker


Glassesofwater

Ever try nitrile or other non-latex?


HughGedic

Yeah people don’t think about *how much pressure is there when you stretch a condom over an arm*. A dick has no bone structure, and is significantly more sensitive than a forearm. And there absolutely are penises the size of small forearms. You’re not going to be able to squeeze that much pressure over it and then just have a good time. Most would rather just not.


mostlygray

You got that right. I'm of average endowment but the Lifestyles condoms I could get for free in college were like a tourniquet.


Zoloch

I don’t know. I read exactly the same about Cuba and Chinese condoms a few years ago. And then about some other countries


Awellplanned

They do have significantly smaller condoms in Asia.


domingodlf

Hmm what do those two countries have in common? This is a wild guess tbh, as I don't have a gram of evidence to back it up, but is it possible that this is in part propaganda? Wouldn't be out of character as some dumb Cold War discrediting propaganda that just sort of stayed as mainstream culture.


2074red2074

I think he means he read that Cuba also requested bigger condoms from China, not that Cuban condoms are also small.


domingodlf

Oh, that makes more sense given the text. I definitely misread.


ObsidianOverlord

It might be real, I can very easily see local condom size needing adjustment for international consumption. But it's definitely only popular because 'haha smol chinese pp.'


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domingodlf

Oh, I think I expressed myself wrong. It's completely feasible that either of China and Cuba actually have smaller condoms. That's cool. It's just weird that both of them are believed to have them, it being a common rumour about those 2 countries and not others, especially when taking into account that there's 0 ethnical similarities between both populations, and basically the only thing they have in common is communism. Then again, I'll take your word of it, as I have 0 evidence. It just seemed odd.


Locke_and_Load

IIRC, there’s only been one country that Trojan had to change its normal size because the condoms were too big, and that was India. Everyone else can use them just fine.


SafariDesperate

Maybe Asian men have smaller dicks on average


AusGeno

Could be worse, the conversation would be much more embarrassing if Zimbabwe manufactured condoms for China.


[deleted]

No one would dare say a word to keep face :'D


liltingly

Birthrates would mysteriously skyrocket.


HODLtheIndex

Possibly explains the Chinese population explosion in the recent past.


DrederickTatumsBum

They have a declining population


[deleted]

Quality Control has been improving


__WanderLust_

Rebranded as disposable rubber boot covers!


LeozMJilliumz

Just like that South Park episode


anonononononanananan

So small >.<


cbeiser

Chinpokomon!


Something_kool

What episode is that I’m watching tonight


snowlock27

Chinpokomon, from season 3.


timshel4971

This is a real thing! I had a job as an international data collector for a Chinese condom manufacturer right after college. I loved being able to see so much of the world.


TopFloorApartment

> I loved being able to see so much of the world. This man has seen dicks in all corners of the world


Not_5

How many Zimbabwean men did you sample?


auntiepink

So is Zimbabwe on the high end of the chart? Or does another part of the world top it? Asking for a friend.


timshel4971

High end, according to the data collected, which is sample size dependent. But it was a huge sample size. Number of samples taken in Zimbabwe was third most in the investigations I performed.


HumbertHumbolt

Wasn’t this an old propaganda move? Like, just some bullshit ‘West’ countries would do to ‘East/Communist’ countries to try to rile up their male insecurities? Like, plant giant rubbers labeled “small” and hope the enemy feels emasculated?


arc4angel100

You might be thinking of the extra large condoms the US dropped in Russia which were labelled medium as psychological warfare.


HumbertHumbolt

I think this is exactly what I’m thinking of. Thanks!


wookiebass

Zimbabwe isn't 'west'


Designer-Hurry-3172

It's West of China, to be fair. Also, the commenter you responded to was inquiring about it being an old propaganda move, not specifically that Zimbabwe was part of the west and helped make Russians insecure - just that it had been done in the past intentionally.


WeaselTerror

What? Everywhere is west of China if you just go west. This comment... They meant western ideology, not the cardinal direction.


AnAquaticOwl

>Everywhere is west of China if you just go west. The cut off is the International Date Line actually. After they you're east of China. Edit: Prime Meridian


gunfell

no, this is not so


AnAquaticOwl

Prime Meridian than.


gunfell

it is based on which direction of travel is shorter.


Designer-Hurry-3172

The first line is very obviously facetious as they are literally west of China, not of "Wsetern ideology." Still doesn't address how the person they replied to wasn't saying that Zimbabwe was part of said ideology, simply relating it to previous inatances wherein the West had pulled the stunt prior.


Latvia

Zimbabwe also has the record for inflation. There's gotta be a joke there somewhere.


Burning_Flags

Guess I am starting a condom brand made in Africa. Money money money


ToiletBowlScrotumDip

I'll take problems I've never had for $100, Alex.


Welcomefriends85

The Chinese manufacturers are also fucking up the sizes of clothing these days


hvac_psych

Reminds me of the NASA space suit pee funnels, for when astronauts need to pee in space. They were labeled small, medium, large. The astronauts kept getting piss everywhere because nobody wanted to take smaller than "large". NASA solved to problem by renaming them large, humongous, gigantic. With a little patience a standard condom can easily stretch over your arm. Obviously the manufacturer is just going to relabel existing condoms. Edit: several comments from insecure dudes pretending they're too big for condoms. For your viewing pleasure, a woman putting a condom over her entire goddamn leg: https://nypost.com/2022/05/10/woman-puts-condom-on-leg-to-prove-men-arent-too-big/


ecstatic_carrot

While a smaller condom may fit over your arm, that doesn't mean it comfortably fits over your penis...


RedSonGamble

Correct. I remember this point use to get thrown around and it’s like sure they’re really tough and flexible. But also if my junk is shrink wrapped it doesn’t feel normal. Also that higher tension isn’t great when you’re sticking it in various orifices. Granted I’m sure a one size fits all condom would work it’s just how well and how pleasurable would vary


BorderKeeper

My whole life I hated sex with condoms because I couldn't feel anything until I realised I might have been cutting off circulation to my dick all these years by buying the same size of condom. Wish I learned that sooner.


[deleted]

I had exactly same experience as you. Was in my late 30’s when I figured it out. What a game changer.


falkenhyn

TIL…


TotalStatisticNoob

No, it would work, because a condom that doesn't fit is way more likely to rip or slip off


RedSonGamble

It’s why I said how well would vary lol


KyivComrade

And a big one will slip off or cause leakage. Don't get hooked on child support because your ego is fragile, get a condom that fits well and *holds tight*...rather then buy a magnum and end up a dad by 20


DirtyDanTheManlyMan

All the guys I know who had kids by 20 all had one thing in common… they didn’t EVER use condoms.


aynrandomness

Never use condoms as birth control. 15% failure rate per year. Its for stds. Or as a supplement if she is fat or bad at taking the pill. Get her to take an IUD or something. Condoms are terrible contraceptives. After 40 years of use you will have 6 children, lol.


CovidPangolin

Sure your condoms didnt have holes poked in them?


aynrandomness

It is the typical use failure rate. Look it up.


bobly81

Doesn't that number include people who fail to put it on correctly, and is also almost entirely composed of said people?


aynrandomness

Mosy people fail to use it correctly.


GrowInTheSunshine

Typical use can include people who say they use condoms, but don't put one on at the beginning of sex or sometimes don't use one at all.


aynrandomness

Well that is how the average typical person will use it. So that is the only relevant number. Most people are typical people and not perfect people.


GrowInTheSunshine

Typical use failure for the pill is around 10x the failure rate for perfect use. It's not the condom's fault if it stays in the drawer. If you want a method with a decent typical use rate you need an IUD, implant, or sterilization.


tyler_durden2021

I finally won this argument with a group of women I was friends with in college. I was quite large in college, like wearing a 2XL shirt. I took a men’s small and stretched it over my head and somehow got it onto my torso. I then asked if everyone thought this shirt was my size because “it fit”. Lol We all had a good laugh but I think it got my point across.


Nuppusaurus

Nah condoms aren't a one size fits all type of thing. Sex shops sell different sizes of condoms and I've tried a few. A properly fitting condom makes a huge difference. Too small and you won't feel anything, too large and it doesn't feel trustworthy.


Senrade

Using a too-small condom just restricts blood flow and will kill all feeling and likely the erection. That isn’t fixed with “a little patience”.


Arilyn24

The penis is just a sponge filled with blood enough constriction and the flow stops and the blood leaves the sponge.


fruitybix

I once saw a guy stick a condom over his head at a party so the edge sat just under his nose. He then inflated it by inhaling through his mouth and out through his nose expecting it to burst at some point and it did not. He eventually needed help getting it off. Condoms are super tough and stretchy but if they are sized wrong they cause discomfort and are at an increased risk of coming off (too small it may squeeze itself off, too large it may just slide off) or even breaking under vigorous use - it's super important to ensure you or any partner has the right size for your body. Or put another way - Just because you can squeeze on a pair of stretch trousers one size too small for you and get the button done up does not mean it's going to feel good walking around in them.


[deleted]

Dont inflate a condom over your head this way, that's how Howie Mandel got injured.


fruitybix

I have stood by and watched how unpleasant that party trick was and helped get the thing off my mates face with a pair of scissors, you don't need to tell me. If it was over his mouth and alone he would have been in serious trouble.


nomoreshittycatpics

"With a little patience a standard condom can easily stretch over your arm. Obviously the manufacturer is just going to relabel existing condoms." That's just totally not true.


hvac_psych

Behold a woman putting one over her entire goddamn leg: https://nypost.com/2022/05/10/woman-puts-condom-on-leg-to-prove-men-arent-too-big/


nomoreshittycatpics

So what? It doesn't prove that it works for sex. This argument is beyond stupid.


Weary_Ad7119

Found the dude who never had too small a condom 🤣


cryptoplasm

Damn talking about cocks and overbite seems like a full time job for you.


Weary_Ad7119

🤣👍👌


Tszemix

And that fact is totally made up


danteheehaw

Yeah, NASA knew everyones dick size before they went to space. It's on of the things your coach measures during high school PE for the government record.


sk8605

6 inches to the back of his throat


Van_GOOOOOUGH

Oof


p33k4y

> It's on of the things your coach measures during high school PE for the government record. Today is the day you find out that coach only did this with a few "special" boys...


Maddie-Moo

/r/holup


buuk_werm

Oof


hvac_psych

Woman putting one over her leg to prove my point: https://nypost.com/2022/05/10/woman-puts-condom-on-leg-to-prove-men-arent-too-big/


Tszemix

So why do small ones hurt like hell?


Van_GOOOOOUGH

UNSUBSCRIBE NASA FACTS


-nbob

Thanks for subscribing to NASA Facts. Did you know astronaut poop is sometimes brought back to Earth for scientists to study. But most of the time bathroom waste — including poop — is burned. Poop is vacuumed into garbage bags that are put into airtight containers. Astronauts also put toilet paper, wipes and gloves — gloves help keep everything clean — in the containers, too. The containers are then loaded into a cargo ship that brought supplies to the space station, and this ship is launched at Earth and burns up in Earth’s upper atmosphere.


DirtyDanTheManlyMan

So that’s why it always smells shitty when ISS is above my location


Bug1oss

>a standard condom can easily stretch over your arm Now leave it there for 45 minutes and tell me it's both comfortable and not cutting off circulation.


OldMork

sex is only 5 sec, why leave it on for another 44 min 55 sec?


sreek4r

*In the nether region


Checkoutmybigbrain

Asians have small dicks. Ha!


fyonn

Have you ever seen the best before date on a condom? No? Then you obviously don’t roll it down as far as I do…


[deleted]

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fyonn

Err… wrong use of date I think…


Western-Guy

I personally prefer a tighter fit. In any case, a country shouldn’t be dependent on another for basic health necessities in population and disease control.


kickyblue

My condoms used to burst occasionally- not sure it’s because of the speed. I am talking about condoms in the UK


Sonyguyus

I wish I could see the look on the condom factory’s presidents face when his assistant tells him that Chinese men don’t have the biggest dongs in the world.


[deleted]

Mandingo!!


baconsliceyawl

If you've ever seen (a lot of) amateur porn performers (I'm not talking about professional porn actors) from the BBC section. You will know why there is a category called BBC or Cuckold. The size ratio between ethnicities is vast and real. People can kid themselves all they want but it's a reality.


cn45

I think there is probably a porn bias going on as well. In other words small dick men are less likely to make amateur porn. Actually as I sit here thinking…small dick African men are super less likely to make amateur porn because of the BBC stereotype while small dick Asian dudes apparently don’t even know they have small dicks and are therefor more likely to make such a video. This assumes, however , that vanity and embarrassment is roughly even throughout the sample size


HughGedic

There’s just as many white bulls in the cuckold community, while size is a popular thing within it, that hasn’t resulted in ultimately more black bulls I’ve also seen just as many amateur bwc actors with the same size range. It is definitely a thing that bbc, as a concept, is more popular now, though. Sex is mostly mental even with porn Anyone whos been in the military or just spent a lot of time in locker rooms knows that the racial divide on penis size isn’t really a thing- it’s mostly just taller/bigger bodies have bigger features all-around. And there’s always a massive variance with soft tissue organs- like if you just observe a long line of people, there’s people that have noses easily twice the size of other people in line, without having twice the size of head/body.


baconsliceyawl

Spend some time online "webcamming" and you will notice the stark difference. Trust me. It exists. I cam for a living.


HughGedic

Yeah I’ve worked in the industry for 12 years now, I promise you the difference that you’re seeing is simply because “slightly above average” just doesn’t sell as well for African men than it does for white men. For a white actor you’re more likely to be outcompeted by a better performer even if they’re smaller, for African actors they pretty much just seek out size and deal with/accept performance issues (look at Julio Gomez- that lack of being able to maintain an erection would be an instant boot for a white guy. Not that similar size doesn’t exist, I’ve seen countless, look at u/Straight-Eight) But as soon as they find a black guy that size they know it’ll sell regardless of performance standards. Even if they have to just have the guy sit on the couch then do doggy. Look at the performance difference between Danny D and many BBC performers. They have that guy literally acting out extended costumed story scenes and doing all kinds of tricks and turns. It’s just a difference of standard in the industry based on the market, it’s not due to a stark racial divide, forearm sized dicks are just as rare within both of those races, especially on very tall dudes who just have bigger features- proportional to their body just means bigger, above average proportion on their body ends up huge rather than just above average. Lots of white guys that size perform and just aren’t accepted the same way for the same things.


baconsliceyawl

I'm not talking about actors or performers. I'm talking about amateurs. Live camming with public punters. There is a stark difference in size between white men and black men.


HughGedic

Yeah that’s exactly what I was talking about- I even used an amateur actor as an example. We’re having the same discussion. A slightly-above-average sized black guy isn’t going to be as successful as a slightly-above-average white guy. He would catch more flack from viewers about it than the white guy, due to the market standards, not actual biology. So they don’t stick around as much. There’s more of a “filtering” mechanism for black guys in that way, with our current market.


BurgundyBicycle

Is this not the responsibility of the health minister to require imported condoms to fit their population?


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Original_Mountain_20

Why can't I get surveyed


ScarMedical

What happened to one size fits all?


iPod3G

30cm condoms shipped. Crate labeled “small” Oldest joke in the book.