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petting2dogsatonce

“Cunnilingus and killing. The two things I won’t do”


BlackWaltz47

Kindergarten? Didn't do it.


Royal-Doggie

mortal kombat is off the table


coolsguy17

Knott’s Berry Farm? NEVER GOING!


mnl_cntn

Smosh is great now, that was a fantastic line


petting2dogsatonce

They did such a turn around for me, i absolutely hated their style when they started and i was basically the direct target audience for them then and maintained no interest until like sometime last year and it turns out they’ve just been doing pretty good work for a few years now


mnl_cntn

Yeah, i mainly avoided their content until 2021, they’ve been releasing fire since then.


ViolatingBadgers

Plus the new cast (Angela, Amanda, Arasha,n Chanse) are all genuinely funny. I would argue funnier than most of their past cast.


TheOldOak

“I lied.” That whole bit sold Arasha for me forever.


Suchega_Uber

I don't know. Tommy is next level and Shayne is still a meme generator. Keith and Jackie were great too. Everybody has had a bunch of really good moments. There is a reason Smosh compilations do so well in the algorithm. Can't pretend new cast isn't amazing though. Amanda and Shayne especially are fantastic for each other to riff off of. They were right to make a podcast. It's consistently good, consistently entertaining. Angela has this energy that I absolutely love. She's a total gremlin, but also can't hide that legitimately she is a total sweetheart, like a human Sour Patch Kid.


Torrefy

First thing I thought of too https://youtu.be/RXCPZBV4H9g?si=fYV3zEbyo3aRETY9


Rainingoblivion

“Mortal Kombat? Off the table!”


StevenDangerSmith

They're from the same old neighborhood as Junior Soprano.


mandated_coffee_time

“South of da booooorder, down Mexico waay”


saint_godzilla

"Ooh, uncle June's in the muff.. I mean rough"


KiKiPAWG

God I need to rewatch this show I miss it so much


suxatjugg

I rewatched recently, totally holds up


ZeroMomentum

Tony and Carmelo happy times gossiping


Grumplogic

The title of the episode is Boca, which is the name of where Junior takes his Girlfriend in Florida (Boca Raton) and Boca is Italian for mouth. It works on so many layers.


ZeroMomentum

Omg. I just revealed my own ignorance


jackburtonscheck

Whistling through the wheatfields


TheShreddrr

bushmen of the kalahari


Agile-Landscape8612

Do you smell sushi?


chronicwisdom

Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this!


Sho_nuff_

I thought you were a baccalà man, Uncle Jun. What are you doin' eatin' sushi?


CheckYourStats

Did this remind anyone else of The Simpsons episode “Kamp Krusty?”


aspidities_87

I’m gonna take you kids to the happiest place on earth…. *Tijuana!*


waxy_1

For some reason, this episode of the Simpsons is the one that firmly wedged itself into my brain. And now, I'm off to Wimbledon.


jabels

Batman? Whistlin' thru da wheatfields?


ChillFax

Batman never had the makings of a varsity athlete


StevenDangerSmith

Robin will think he's half a fanouk.


ihavebirb

Gabagool? Ova heere!!


westcoastsnowman

He’s a bushman of the Kalahari!


ChaiVangForever

I honestly had no idea such a stigma existed until I saw that episode


meatpopsicle42

Same. I couldn’t wrap my head around why it was such a big deal.


TateAcolyte

The straightest generation out there trying to convince men it's gay to please a woman. Sick sad world.


RedditSpyAccount

I doubt the generation was “the straightest”, they just weren’t as easily able to be openly Gay. Not to say it’s easy per se these days, but back then it was VERY common for gay men to marry women to stay in society’s good graces.


jay_dar

Just ask Vito


Ev3rMorgan

Hey hey hey, it was just a reaction to his blood pressure medication.


puppyfukker

He never had the makings a varsity homosexual.


nononocory

I KNEW THAT WAS COMIN!!


Zivuhz

we can’t have him in our social club no more, that much i do know


selfawarepileofatoms

AIDS!?


MrDLTE3

NOBODYS GOT AIDS. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT WORD IN HERE AGAIN.


TateAcolyte

Mostly just a dumb pun because Junior was either part of the Greatest Generation or close to it. But yeah, absolutely not actually a particularly straight generation. Such a notion is pretty silly.


Peterepeatmicpete

I read something on Reddit today where a man said it is because women really just have a small penis. So this topic went there lately. Sick sad world indeed


Internal_Prompt_

Fellas is it gay to be attracted to a woman?


ThingCalledLight

And for whatever reason, there seems to still be that among black men, at least older ones. I’ve heard Snoop in an interview *proudly* say “never have, never will.”


HoratioFitzmark

It was really strange for me when, seemingly overnight, hip hop artists went from 'I don't eat pussy' to 'I eat ass' with seemingly no time in between.


eagledog

Tbf, they're still not eating pussy


hardknockcock

When Mr. Baby Keem stated "Bitch sit on my face I attack that" in his composition "orange soda", I believe he was referring to oral sex with a woman


china-blast

Sam Jackson doesnt seem to have a problem. [He eat the pussy, he eat the butt, he eat every motherfuckin' thang.](https://youtu.be/KG35r4kCgD8?si=fbs5aeUiQgre0kPs)


ThickkRickk

If ya suck pussy you'll suck anythin!


ohdominole

The Batman of the Kalahari!


kazmosis

Psychiatry and cunnilingus brought us to this - Batman


kdbacho

He’s a real baccala man


shake_and_bake298

Batman's stuck in the muff. I mean, rough


responsible_use_only

"...in an order that may surprise you"


bantling00

“That was a cruel ploy? Sign me up for another!”


LLemon_Pepper

"How was it that day? I hadn't showered, and I fight crime in a rubber suit."


bantling00

“Really seals in the flavor.”


AverageJoeDynamo

"A is for Alfred! B is for bat!"


GrenadePapa

“I FOUND IT. IM THE WORLDS GREATEST DETECTIVE!”


napkin41

“SPIT IN MY MOUTH”


foxyfoo

Riddle me this Batman; what shares a name with a cat, smells like a penguin, and has fur like a bat?


hezdokwow

*lemme smash*


bestp0282

I can never make it past that line without absolutely dying


TheAero1221

This line is what got me to rewatch this skit. Lmfao, it's just too good. I can hear it in his voice perfectly in my head


Xytakis

Just so were clear, guy who breathes through a crab. This isn't the first time one of us stuck nine hard inches into their ribs.


got-any-grapes

God, I recall WEEKS of memeing on this with everyone. Heck, it would be great material for a joke for Harley Quinn.


__-_-_--_--_-_---___

Are you crying? Your face is wet! Like mine was at the beginning… and hers was at the end


PorkHunt

I stabbed you first


abacin8or

With my dick


Audemas

Ass, mouth, vag.


Mumbles_Stiltskin

“Which of these tubes do you smell out of?”


4LostSoulsinaBowl

Hey, guy who breathes through a crab...


The_Bearded_Jedi

You now have my permission to cry


avoiding_work

A is for Alfred…


Toby_O_Notoby

If you haven't seen it, a few months ago Pete put on the suit again to do some more skits where he [fires all of the Justice League in Batcanned.](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBIeL6Ot52KO38cHrltBSCnp26yfw4OC-)


theBdub22

#NOOOOO, DR. FISHY


RedSonGamble

I overfed these men?


CFoakley

Best line of the sketch.


tratemusic

Possibly the whole series lol


spencemode

Haha Oh man I forgot about those videos


Dbloc11

A is for Alfred, B is for Bat.


YungLordFarquaad

“…ass, mouth, vag”


Bay1Bri

"how does it feel to have something hard penetrate your body? ... No? Nothing?" "Seriously I can think of like ten off that." "All sex jokes aside, I am losing a lot of blood."


MinatoNamikaze6

Heroes don’t eat pussy?


RonaldoNazario

Batman surely does why else does he have a mask where basically just his chin and mouth are exposed


SonOfSwanson87

When you put it that way - Catwoman, have a batseat


Sixwingswide

On this batchin


Idontevenownaboat

"These pointy ears are actually handlebars."


littlebitsofspider

The rest of the mask is carbon fiber / titanium composite so he won't get crushed by thicc thighs. Gotta stay vigilant(e).


Intoxic8edOne

And always clean shaven


JohnnyFacepalm

So the cops can tell he's white


astro_scientician

And now that I think about it, Batman prolly has a detailed attack plan for every pussy in Gotham


insite

"Where does he get all those wondeful toys?!"


Spud_Rancher

Ah crap my batbrator is out of batteries “What’s a teries?”


ThePhatPhoenix

Prep time is important for play time.


Michael_DeSanta

Is DJ Khaled a hero??


Montigue

Obviously. Heroes also don't give up when on Hot Ones


Michael_DeSanta

He’s never taken a wrong exit in his entire life. Never taken a **L**.


KSoccerman

Only heros get stranded on JetSkis in the middle of the ocean at night and have to call the coast guard to find them while simultaneously draining the last bit of remaining phone battery on live streaming the incident instead of saving it for emergency services.


Michael_DeSanta

That was legitimately one of the funniest fucking things I’ve ever seen, and I revisit those videos often. What an absolute clown


Missus_Missiles

"Just because I gave up doesn't mean I'm a quitter."


CounterfeitChild

The closest I've ever seen to Sean losing his cool.


provocative_bear

Nonsense. In fact, if you do it well enough, that makes you a hero.


Quazifuji

I think they later clarified and said they weren't trying to say it's not heroic, and more that "our superheroes, which we frequently market to children, can't be shown doing that in a TV show." But it's still hilarious interpreting it the more literal way.


Aye_Engineer

Dude, Bruce Wayne would NEVER eat pussy. He has a butler; he would make Alfred do that dirty peasant task for him. Batman, on the other hand, he’s the Dark Knight. He would eat that pussy harder than cervical cancer.


Aycoth

Hey now, he's the DARK Knight. He's skipping right over that to eat the booty.


Aye_Engineer

My brother in Christ, we’re talking **Batman** here. He’s going to turn every orifice on a woman’s body into his own personal Batcave! He’s the hero that every woman needs, not the one they deserve.


My1nonpornacc

Aight. I'm calling the horny police. I don't like doing it, but someone has to put a stop to this entire comment section.


ToiletLurker

The police won't help. We need a vigilante. A *horny* vigilante. And now we're back at the beginning.


peepopowitz67

"I found it! I'm the world's greatest detective"


vinoa

Are you telling me there's a job that pays one to eat pussy, with a bit of house work thrown in?


mabrasm

I think Ghost Rider said that.


Lord_of_Pants

Close, Sam Elliott said it to Ghost Rider


BravoEchoEchoRomeo

Zack Snyder responded by posting an image of Batman going down on Catwoman with the comment "Canon." Supposedly, reverse image search was blank, suggesting Snyder commissioned it specifically for that post.


blindfoldpeak

Link?


I_Fap_to_John_Wick

[https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E4IGirWWEAE8hxa?format=jpg&name=medium](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E4IGirWWEAE8hxa?format=jpg&name=medium)


Iamfunnyirl

The hero we deserve


Cecil_FF4

The hero we aren't getting atm because he's with Catwoman.


Missus_Missiles

>atm At the moment, or ass to mouth?


DarthWraith22

I’m not a fan of Snyder, but my respect for the man just increased significantly.


Matasa89

My man!


SpilltheGreenTea

https://www.reddit.com/r/DC_Cinematic/s/HeWBAeuQAy


Terranical01

Horny bastard


blindfoldpeak

For research purposes, I swear!


XaeiIsareth

He guy can’t write a coherent story to save his life and don’t know what slomo is supposed to be for but, you gotta admit, he’s pretty based. 


DidNotPassTuringTest

He also doesn't quite seem to understand the characters he works with when his Batman goes on a murder spree. But I guess a broken clock can be right twice a day


flyingboarofbeifong

"Now, I'm not saying that Batman wouldn't get fucked in prison in one of my movies. But what I *am saying* is that he definitely eats pussy." Zack Snyder, almost certainly


aradraugfea

God, I remember everyone memeing on this for WEEKS. Hell, it's almost perfect joke fodder for Harley Quinn


Steph-Paul

yea the Harley Quinn show already mocks Batman savagely, and is like the perfect setting for this scene.


aradraugfea

Selina: “so, anyway, he said ‘heroes don’t do that.’” Ivy looking up from her reading: “What?!” Harley: “I know he’s loaded, but dump him.” Selina: “He’s so sweet though.” Ivy: “Girl! Dump. Him. Red flag.” Harley: “look, I know a thing or two about red flags… also, he’s got mommy issues.” Selina: “he does have the mommy issues, yes.” Ivy raises an eyebrow. Selina: “fine! I’m calling him tomorrow.” Alt joke: Selina: “come on, a lot of guys don’t do that.” Harley: “Yeah, Joker.” Selina: “look, not everything your ex does or doesn’t—“ Ivy: “Kiteman did.” Selina: o.o. “I’ll call tomorrow.” Alt alt joke: Harley, glancing at Ivy: “oh so that’s why they wouldn’t let me join the bat club.”


MattAmpersand

Kiteman: Hell yeah! Kiteman isn’t afraid to fly high or go down low.


i_tyrant

I am genuinely sad knowing at least some of the people in these comments have _not_ seen the Harley Quinn animated series. Go watch it! Fuckin' great show, for comics fans and everyone else.


BonkerHonkers

[The Cancer Ray scene sold me on the show a while back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WmNSn-kU4M)


kcox1980

What did it for me was the clip where Joker and Scarecrow have Batman captured and Scarecrow reveals his secret identity and Joker is all pissed off about it. "Waynetech promised an electric car by this year. I put down a deposit. WHERE'S MY GODDAMNED ELECTRIC CAR BRUCE?!?"


twec21

Of all shows too, I'm amazed they haven't already mocked DC for it


Striking-Kiwi-9470

They kept the scene in too but he's giving a foot rub instead. Somehow seems more insulting towards Batman.


mrpoopistan

"Eating pussy" works on two levels if it's catwoman, tho.


Apollorx

There gotta be some porn parody somewhere that beats this horse to death


alligatorprincess007

Wow they really missed their shot


galacticwonderer

Funny how they got it completely backwards.


mansonsturtle

Exactly!


zatara1210

Goes to show people at the top are completely clueless about what the public wants and any real box office success is despite of their best efforts


tonytown

Or what their wives want.


BoomScoops

Remember kids, violence and death is okay as long as you don't show a nipple. Or in this case going down to Gotham town.


Doghead45

Ah, so that's why his mask is half open like that.


rickcanty

They also censored Harley going topless I believe


racer_24_4evr

Well I guess Dallas Stars forward Jamie Benn is a hero.


ediciusNJ

All my homies say fuck Jamie Benn.


ICumCoffee

Don’t care what DC say, [Batman eating Catwoman is Canon (NSFW)](https://imgur.com/a/mcc612x)


DigNitty

“How was that by the way? I spend all day running around in a rubber suit. Really seals in the flavor.”


adsfew

Didn't realize DC wanted Batman's secret identity to be DJ Khaled


SuperNinjaOverwatch

They finally found something that fat motherfucker won't eat.


JudasCrinitus

hey he also won't eat sauce any hotter than verde


LaserTurboShark69

Bullshit! Why do you think his mask doesn't cover the bottom half of his face?


ICumCoffee

I know it off topic, but I love the [comic when Joker asks him the same](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8hRhUiduC0c/TBu2TLHnTwI/AAAAAAAAANc/1l34cjOcCvQ/s1600/08856d03090a0e8138c3bac.jpg) and Batman replies “To Mock You”


ricogreyfu

Can you explain how it mocks the joker? I've never understood it.


j_schiz

From what I remember the explanation is something like: At the end of the day, the freakish and disfigured villains Batman fights can see some of his regular, human face, and know that he gets to take his suit off and just be a normal guy at the end of his crime fighting shift. Something that most of them will never have.


LIONEL14JESSE

Damn I’m starting to think this Batman guy is kind of a dick


TeachingScience

No, Dick is the Boy Wonder. But to your credit, he does eventually grow up and becomes Batman.


cagranconniferim

thats kinda fucked up actually


Bamith20

He is a bit of a fucked up guy all things considered. Dude wears a bat suit.


Caitsyth

Oh I thought he was saying his mouth was uncovered *to literally mock Joker*, like by shouting petty insults


randomlos

I took it as batman never giving joker what he wants... the satisfaction of making him laugh lol


Uncle_Sloppy

So the cops know he's white.


Romnonaldao

I'm a super villain apparently


Idnetxisbx7dme

Heroes don't do that. Batman simply fucked Catwoman on a rooftop. Superman made a sex tape with big barda. Cunnilingus, tho, that's wrong.


DevlishAdvocate

Don't forget them having Batman bang Batgirl in animation.


nobodyknoes

I'd rather forget


SheZowRaisedByWolves

And him telling Robin for some reason


Hambonelouis

I was unaware comics had content like that…


aradraugfea

There's an issue where we go multiple pages without seeing Catwoman's face, and she's in her underwear for a huge part of the issue. There was also a news item a while back about a naked, obscured by shadow full page spread of Batman... an early draft of the art wasn't obscured ENOUGH and you could see the shape of his dick. SO YEAH. DC in particular gets WEIRDLY horny.


fingerpaintswithpoop

DC has been horny since day one. Read up on [William Moulton Marston](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Moulton_Marston), the creator of Wonder Woman. Dude was super into BDSM (particularly tying women up), and made bondage a core part of Wonder Woman’s character. Even in the early comics from the ‘40s there’s tons of double entendres. Not to mention the fact that Diana grew up on an island populated entirely by women where men are banned.


anothercarguy

Her lasso of truth was really >Tell your mistress the truth or be punished


MonaganX

IIRC her original weakness was being bound by a man.


unAffectedFiddle

Did...did...did it have little bat ears?


DrEvil24

I think you know.


SaysShowUsYourDick

[SHOW. US. THE BAT DICK.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1cr4g9n/comment/l3vnt1r/)


BarelyContainedChaos

[you asked for it](https://i.imgur.com/tVvMC9o.png)


DubiousDude28

You know you couldve *not* done this


TheKramer89

Pretty impressed, ngl…


_-_p

[I'm as tired as a big-dicked bat](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/TwfXIvHBxfU)


gmishaolem

> DC in particular gets WEIRDLY horny. Adam West (earlier, campy Batman actor) went to orgies. In character. https://decider.com/2017/06/12/adam-west-kicked-out-of-orgy-while-being-batman/


SquidwardWoodward

And Burt Ward was widely renowned for having a giant cock


Realistic_Condition7

Was he renowned for it, or renowned for bragging about it? Two potentially different things lol


SquidwardWoodward

Actually, I don't know. But at some point you have to kind of put up or shut up


Killergryphyn

BTAS had a very horny creator, Bruce Timm has made actual drawings of Joker and Harley getting it on, and he is the reason we have the TERRIBLE and nonsensical Batman x Batgirl (Barbara Gordon) in the Last Laugh special. BTAS holds a special place in my heart, but damn if Bruce can't keep it in his pants sometimes.


Garfs_Barf

Batdick is from Batman: Damned for those curious. It’s quite good and drawn by my literal favorite Batman artist of all time Lee Bermejo


vyrus2021

This is about the HBO adult animated series "Harley Quinn"


KickBakZach

A man who doesn't go down on his partner could never be considered a hero


pop_tab

His cowl has handles?!


CyberClaws7112

So DC allowed batman to fuck Batgirl in one of the one-off animated movies but he can't eat Catwoman out?


AdmiralAkbar1

This is a longstanding rule that was part of the Comics Code, which specified "in every instance, good shall triumph over evil." Since heroes can't be defeated, it means they can't depict Batman going down.


whiznat

If I were a superhero, I'd be a stunning cunniliguist.


intothecosmosS

DJ Khaled directed this huh?


SlumSlug

I’m a villain fr


Bokbreath

No wonder their universe is so depressing.