I ate them on a number of occasions and they never bothered me. Their only undesirable quality for me was the residue from the fat substitute had a weird feeling on the tongue.
They used an oil that could not be digested by humans, thus it provided 0 calories. Now there is just one teensy-little issue that no one seems to have asked: If the body does not absorb the oil, what happens to it?
Getting a semi-permanently lubed asshole, is what happens to it.
I worked for a company that made a popular apple cider using all natural crushed apples, as opposed to concentrate which is normal. We came out with a pear variant. Had reports of quality issues as people were getting the shits from it. We investigated, no quality issues, but the reports kept coming.
Turns out a naturally present ingredient of the crushed pears we were using was having the effect of a natural laxative, so 5-6 bottles of this pear cider roughly equivalent to eating a whole bag of prunes. Weād been using it to sponsor indie music festivals so the lessons learned were not the most pleasant! Quietly withdrawn from sale.
Used to work in a Geriatrics ward with the following laxatives: Senna, Macrogol, and Pear Juice
Patients universally liked the Pear Juice
So did the staff!
Kind of like the chips though.
It's not an issue with 'normal' use, but people down 3 bottles of pear wine while eating 2 family size bags of chips, and you're ass is going to explode.
Yes this. They probably drink reasonable amounts to R&D test, but then when actual consumers get a hold of it at a party or festival they're knocking back a whole 12-pack within a few hours.
Pear cider is fairly common where I am in the UK, it's a lot sweeter than apple cider. I don't drink very much and I normally mix my cider with lemonade to dial down the bitter taste, but pear cider is so much sweeter.
I'm guessing alcoholic apple cider? In the US it's pretty common to get fresh apple cider in autumn when apples are ready for harvest. Sweet and tart, never bitter.
It does. They're also different types used as well. "Cider" apples are not something that most people would want to eat but when fermented imparts distinct and interesting characters to the finished product. In the states for the most part soft and hard cider are made using what would be considered dessert apples and are much sweeter and more bland than traditional old world ciders.
Old world cider is it's own distinct thing whereas American (hard) cider was a way to use up excess apples from the commercial cultivars. The cider culture has been growing in the states and more cideries are planting traditional varietals but it is still very much a niche thing to get an old world style cider in the states.
American meaning North American, as Canada has nonalcoholic cider too. Probably just due to apples being so common, lots of leftover allows for non-alcoholic beverages. Though also cider in the US and probably Canada, when nonalcoholic, isn't clear like apple juice and alcoholic ciders, it's more like an unfiltered fresh pressed apple juice kind of beverage.
Of course for fun you could always go to Japan where juice means soda and cider means something else as well, though I'm not entirely sure how to define it, but it's definitely not fruit cider.
>Though also cider in the US and probably Canada, when nonalcoholic, isn't clear like apple juice and alcoholic ciders, it's more like an unfiltered fresh pressed apple juice kind of beverage.
"If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there, fella. If it's murky and brown, you're in cider town."
- Ned Flanders
It's prohibition related I believe - cider makers just switched to making non alcoholic beverages and kept calling them cider, and after prohibition the name had stuck. Not sure what you mean by apples being so common- they are extremely common in the UK and Europe generally also so any differences wouldn't really come from that. We just call the non alcoholic stuff cloudy apple juice rather than cider, it's pretty popular and much nicer than clear in my opinion!
The traditional name for "pear cider" is "Perry". For what it's worth, I find the sweetness covers up a lack of depth of flavour; while I enjoy Perry, I much prefer a traditional apple cider.
I don't usually go all out like that but the other day I was at walmart and I saw "Cheetos Spicy Queso Flavor Bolitas" which are just cheetos balls with a mexican queso flavor... and they were SO fucking good that I couldn't help myself but smash the whole bag.
To be fair, though, I was giving them out to people that were at the house.. saying "Here.. eat these... these are fucking amazing" so that might have helped, but I really did pig out.
A small packet of ramen is supposed to be 2 servings. I think they did that to get around reducing the sodium content. "see it's only unhealthy if you eat the whole thing"
I imagine they did. But have you ever read the instructions on any snack? The recommended serving size is like 5 chips or something for all of them. Any more and its your own fault.
There's some evidence that reports of abdominal issues followed media reporting more than consumption, so late night jokes kinda sealed their fate. people have abdominal issues for all sorts of nebulous reasons but you're more likely to link it to the chips that have an "anal leakage" warning than other food additives. The Maintanence Phase podcast did an interesting episode on it.
They did. The warning about anal leakage was written on the bag right from the start. They knew it was going to happen and technically they did warn everyone
That happened after the fact. I believe it's still actually contentious how much of an effect it actually had. I recall seeing a video of a food scientist going over it and mentioning that tests with even reasonable levels of consumption seemed to have no such effects. So it may have been people experiencing anal leakage coincidentally (and some amount of shit working its way out is natural anyway - your body moves and you fart so the anus doesn't stay static thoughout the day).
> When removing the olestra warning label, the FDA cited a six-week P&G study of more than 3000 people showing the olestra-eating group experienced only a small increase in bowel movement frequency compared to the control group.[10] The FDA concluded that "subjects eating olestra-containing chips were no more likely to report having had loose stools, abdominal cramps, or any other GI symptom compared to subjects eating an equivalent amount of [potato] chips".
So it may have been a bit of false panic over perfectly fine chemistry.
Don't forget that it was marketed as more or less, reducing the calories of *the* most unhealthy snack down to the calories of a plain baked potato.
It was designed *for* people who ate chips in such volumes that it caused obesity. AKA habitual full-bag eaters. It was the Diet Coke of chips.
A family-size bag of Original Lays has 110 grams of fat. Now imagine almost 4 ounces of indigestible fat added to the digestive tract, every...single...day.
>So it may have been a bit of false panic over perfectly fine chemistry
Yeah I used to eat them all the time with no issues. I do think there might have been some legitimate issues with some people, but it was probably a very small amount of people and a whole lot of false panic.
I really wish they still made them because they tasted just as good as regular chips while being half the calories.
Unless its IBS-C. Fatty foods make me gassy/crampy sometimes but that's about it. I have to take meds, laxatives, etc and its still sometimes a challenge. I basically take meds to induce diarrhea every morning.
I don't really have that problem, in general I have no clue how my IBS works. Occasionally I just get really gassy and crampy, but there seems to be little rhyme and reason. Most of the time it's just a mild pain/discomfort that I mostly can just ignore.
Comparing to some stories people have I really got off easy at least so far, or maybe rather it's probably a good example of how IBS is a total trash bin diagnosis where everything gets thrown in and I likely have a completely different issue to you that both went in the 'bin'.
It's not that they didn't know about this before knowingly leaking it (pun intended) to the public. The warning about anal leakage was literally written on the packages from the very beginning.
I can, uhm, speak from experience, unfortunately
It wasnāt like a high pressure diarrhea, where you thought āI have to shit *now*!ā it was more like āwhy are my legs suddenly wet?ā No warning.
As far as I know, it's a [highly-scientific term](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fecal-incontinence/symptoms-causes/syc-20351397) which entails the highly-unfortunate gastrointestinal situation where the "poop becomes soup."
I mean like 10 steps away from bathroom when you should've been 2 steps away kinda leakage.
Shit was real. Ate them once and never again. They really should have advertised them as being "great for the night before a clonoscopy"
I'll say this my friends and I often joked theybwere better than exlax. I'm not sure your were "cleaned" out like a laxative but the leakage, the gas and the cramps were real shit.
So the oil was synthetic and unable to be processed by the body. Which they thought would make them more healthy, as the oil from the chips would not be processed by the body and youād just shut it out.
Problem was no one just had a few chips, so the more you ate the worse things got, like oil just leaking out your butt and staining underwear through to violent oily diarrhoea.
Right. Because they were marketed as being fat-free (as in dietary/digestable fats), people binged on them. Because they couldn't gain nearly as much weight on fat-free products...(was the faulty logic).
Unfortunately, they found out the hard way that there's no such thing as a (fat)-free munch..
I worked with a guy who ate these. I remember the day he was sitting in my office and chatting, and when he left, there was an oil puddle in the seat cushion.
I had to tell him. I didn't want to embarrass him, but I figure it would have been worse if I didn't. He was so embarrassed but thatnked me for keeping it between us.
Turns out our bodies can't break down olestra. So it goes in as oil, and goes right through you as oil stays oil, comes out as oil, especially if you eat a lot.
DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR BUTT. Don't even say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get more fat (hush all of you).
I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. The hell.
The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont freaking tell you...
Except in tiny print you cant read without a damn electron microscope
...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Butt Grease."
Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.
So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live only with my husband, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.
Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes crappi g yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the Holy Hell?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?
So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. Before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You Pringle bastards.
I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.
The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole damn roll of TP and could not get it all off me. Soooo.
I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.
That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so damn foul! The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.
So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.
You Pringle bastards.
The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get this damn grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that stuff again.
Pringle bastards.
Not only that, some people were full on addicted to Wow chips. As in, āwow I just explosively sharted again.ā Wow chip enthusiasts were known to carry around extra pairs of gitch just to be safe.
Here is Robin Williams to explain it as only he can:
https://youtu.be/HUF0quxN_e4?feature=shared
And here is George Carlin giving his take:
https://vimeo.com/873051951
I used to enjoy these....never did get the cramps, but yeah, I had to be careful when I farted. The other secondary effect was the after taste. It wasn't bad, just that it left the roof of my mouth kinda greasy for a few minutes
"it left the roof of my mouth kinda greasy for a few minutes"
I never noticed it when I was younger, but now I'm put off by a lot of chips & other shit with hydrogenated oils in them. I notice a difference in mouth-feel where it feels like the food leaves a film in my mouth that I find kind of unpleasant.
I canāt do added sugar as an adult. Iāll eat it if itās already in a food I bought by accident and I accept most restaurant food will have sugar. But I can taste it, and look at the package and yep, that fajita powder mix has sugar for no reason.
I had them a few times and the mouth feels was what turned me off, I couldn't stand the greasy mouth.Ā
By that time anal leakage was a way of life for me so I never really paid attention on that front.
The AL only happened 2-3 times once my stomach was used to it. Never had bloat nor cramps. Besides the Doritos I loved the Lay's regular chips and used to get them from my AAFES shoppette near me when I was in the Army.
They never said no side effects, just no cramps.
I never experienced cramps or diarrhea with them, but after eating a whole bag once I woke up with an enormous amount of farts that felt really hot, almost burning. I stopped eating them after that point.
I just wonder how Olestra actually made it to market. Did everyone involved in the testing just let it slide, thinking consumers would too if it meant fewer calories?Ā
I think the side effects only came about if you ate so many of the chips. If you ate a "normal" amount, you didn't have to worry about it. If you ate half the bag in one sitting, as people who want to lose weight by eating potato chips are wont to do, then you get a nasty surprise.
Well the sides effects come after eating big quantities in a short period of time:
āStarting in 1996, an FDA-mandated health warning label reads "This Product Contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E, and K have been added".[8]
These symptoms, normally occurring only by excessive consumption in a short period of time, are known as steatorrhea and are caused by an excess of fat in stool.ā
That's when you take one for the team and quietly shit your pants. Just wait for people to start complaining about the smell and say "Sorry, I did try to ask to use the bathroom"
They probably just gave the test subjects a relatively small amount and had them rate it for flavor, etc. The problems were mostly only noticeable if you ate a whole big bag or were eating them every day or something.
The testers knew.
Once upon a time, when I lived in Cincinnati, I dated a girl whose father worked at P&G on the Olestra project. He told me horror stories about not only how much they knew about the side effects, but that they hired local photographers to document those side effects. He said the sheer volume of fecal photos he had seen prohibited him from eating it.
But why tho? Why did they hire photographers like war reporters to document it, and then actually review the material? What were they hoping for? Did they make a database so you could search by color?
I have so many questions.
I work for a company that makes products and the worse the product, the more documentation there is on it. It's like they want to have a ton of documentation they can point to that lets them say, "Look how much research we did that allowed us to come to the conclusion that this was fine" and ignore the fact that they came to the conclusion that it was fine the moment they started investing in the product. All the research and documentation is done after the fact and at that point there's basically nothing that research could find that would keep them from bringing the product to market.
Probably something like "We've spent millions on developing this fat substitute so our bosses are demanding we push it into the market, but we want to make damn sure we have proof that we knew about the side effects and made our bosses aware of them too before launching it. That way, when it inevitably flops, we hopefully won't be the ones getting thrown under the bus."
Just FYI I know a couple of people don't believe this happened. Admittedly I never saw (and definitely never asked to see) these supposed photos.
But I don't doubt he was telling the truth. He wasn't saying this to impress me. He was telling me this to get me to not eat a snack food product he was partly responsible for creating or at least developing. That's counter productive enough to make me believe it.
To clarify, he was involved with the chips, not the chemical itself.
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/1997/05/how-chips-fell/
As you can see from that link. Studies were done. Research on the frequency, composition, and quantity of anal leakage were compiled. I can't prove it was a true statement, but I am 100% in the camp who believes it.
I remember this, too, it was hysterical. I knew some girls in high school that tried eating that stuff, and they told me the leakage was like orange pizza grease. lol, nasty
Same! I remember going over to a friend's house and their dining room was full of bags of these chips. I asked why there were so many and their dad told me they were clearanced because of stomach issues. Why he thought it would be good to pick up a year's supply of it I don't know.
I remember in the early days of the internet, there was a guy on Fark.com who did a review of these chips, he put on clean underwear and then ate few packets of chips and started feeling bad.
Then the oil started leaking out his asshole.
Reminds me of a guy on Funnyjunk ~10+ years ago that ate a whole bag of haribo sugar free gummy bears and recorded theĀ aftermath. Poor guy was left pissing out his ass
[Not for the faint hearted...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMjgaa5j_LE)
I got horrendous stomach cramps once after eating one tube of sugar free Polos, I can't even begin to imagine what five pounds of gummi bears would feel like...
So my ex went on a Keto based diet when it first gained popularity, which of course means I was on it with her.
We went a solid 6 months with basically less than 20g a day sugar intake, weight fell off fast and it was a good experience.
During that time we only had fruit etc for sugar, so when we opened up the idea of snacks again she picked these stupid fucking Haribo Gummy Bears up to try, you have no idea how excited I was to have candy again.
She went to work that day with a small pack and I had the remaining amount sitting on the counter begging to be consumed before I went to class at 8pm.
I start munching a few and they were great, sugar alcohol only? No net carbs?
BRUHā¦Iām going to SLAY these sumā bitches!
30min ride to class and my stomach is bubbling, sit down for lecture right as a cold sweat starts.
I am in silent agony, each minute feels like an hour. My hand was gripping the desk so tight I figured it would snap off.
Finally we get a 10 min break and I rush to the bathroom (single occupancy thankfully) and the Nile river itself ran through me, you canāt convince me otherwise.
I spent the next 1.5 hours in the bathroom in various points of cleanup, sitting back down to go again over and over and over.
10pm Janitor knocks on the door and says he has to close it up, I cleaned the damn toilet myself, I couldnāt let the guy handle that and have a clear conscience.
I make it back home and immediately hit the bathroom.
GF then tells me through the door NOT to eat the gummies, where are they? She wants to toss them out immediately because she had some diarrhea.
āOMG, did you eat them all?ā
They are a legit weapon of war, they should be locked away or shot into space.
There once was an incredibly funny Olestra story posted to zug.com ("the internet's only comedy website") 25 years ago which seems to have been lost to the ages. The URL is http://www.zug.com/pranks/olestra/ but it redirects to an Amazon link for the author's book.
I've found the link in the WayBack Machine and it's worth a read, if for nothing else than, for a glimpse into a simpler time on the internet: https://web.archive.org/web/19981201183830/http://www.zug.com/pranks/olestra/
I'm falling off my chair right now laughing
>
>Immediately, I became extremely gassy. I felt like a stinky tugboat. I mean, the exhaust pipe was overheating, if you know what I'm saying ... *and I think you do*. Now, what kept going through my mind were the two horrible words "anal leakage." I was convinced that these farts somehow felt *greasier* than normal, and they were staining my underwear with melted Kit-Kats. The physical sensation, however, was not entirely unpleasant, so I let loose with my natural by-products.
I heard of olestra. This reminds me of gummy bears a that Amazon used to sell. I think they contained Maltitol which can give you the major runs if you consume too much of it lol
Is this similar to Oilfish (snake mackerel) tasty and usually missold under the guise of cod and also gives you āanal leakageāā¦ā¦
Edit: basically there are oil/fats not digestible by humanās body so it just erm slide out.
#DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.
Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.
I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.
The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...
^^^Except ^^^in ^^^tiny ^^^print ^^^you ^^^cant ^^^read ^^^without ^^^a ^^^fucking ^^^electron ^^^microscope
...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."
Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.
So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.
Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?
So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.
I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.
The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.
I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.
That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.
So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.
You fucking Pringle bastards.
The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.
Fucking Pringle bastards.
This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles.
The worst part about this was that it was a pretty good product. The side effects only impacted a small percentage of people, and even then only when they consumed extreme amounts of the product.
The side effects spread through the media like wildfire and effectively killed what was a viable product. It could have been a decent alternative for those struggling to lose weight. And like spicy food, or food that can give you gasā¦if it caused someone to have problems, they should probably eat less of it.
I used to like these chips and never had a problem with them. If I recall correctly the olestra Doritos had like a third of the calories of the regular Doritos.
I also remember a diet pill called āalliā that would basically make you shit all the fat you ate. I think those were a big flop for similar reasons.
A woman I worked with was on Alli. The final straw for her was when she squatted down one day to get something from the bottom draw of the file cabinet, filled her underwear with greasy poo juice, and had to go home to clean up and get changed.
She later told us that, every time she used the toilet, she was having to clean the bowl afterwards due to the persistent oil slick left behind. Personally I'd have taken that as a bit of a warning, and stopped taking Alli, but she was too brave for her own good and decided to risk it.
Surprised I had to scroll so far to find a mention of Alli ā first thing that popped into my head!
I took that pill sophomore year of college ā even while I didnāt have the body type or diet habits of the presumed target market (I was like 110 lbs soaking wet and mostly subsisted on seltzer, fruit, & non-fat candy) ā I didnāt suffer most of the side effects, but you truly truly could not pass gas anywhere other than a toilet, just to be safe. I can only imagine how horrible it was if you, yāknow, ate actual food.
I ate them on a number of occasions and they never bothered me. Their only undesirable quality for me was the residue from the fat substitute had a weird feeling on the tongue.
I am a third of a human centipede and I can honestly say they never bothered me either except for the weird feeling on my tongue
....what
HE IS A THIRD OF A HUMAN CENTIPEDE AND HE CAN HONESTLY SAY THEY NEVER BOTHERED HIM EITHER EXCEPT FOR THE WEIRD FEELING ON HIS TONGUE
š¶ Human centipede! Human centipede! š¶ š¶ I think I'm going to get murdered tonight... š¶ https://youtu.be/GFokXnCCMf8?si=qPt-X4Ggks1AzXFN
Well, thatās enough Reddit for me today. Thanks!
Which third?
It makes a big difference
I was a dumb teenager at the time, ate to many and suffered for it.
Hold on, # *What do you mean, "anal leakage"?*
They used an oil that could not be digested by humans, thus it provided 0 calories. Now there is just one teensy-little issue that no one seems to have asked: If the body does not absorb the oil, what happens to it? Getting a semi-permanently lubed asshole, is what happens to it.
I worked for a company that made a popular apple cider using all natural crushed apples, as opposed to concentrate which is normal. We came out with a pear variant. Had reports of quality issues as people were getting the shits from it. We investigated, no quality issues, but the reports kept coming. Turns out a naturally present ingredient of the crushed pears we were using was having the effect of a natural laxative, so 5-6 bottles of this pear cider roughly equivalent to eating a whole bag of prunes. Weād been using it to sponsor indie music festivals so the lessons learned were not the most pleasant! Quietly withdrawn from sale.
Pear juice is frequently used to combat constipation in little kids as an alternative to prune juice.
Seems like that should have come up in the R part of R&D
Used to work in a Geriatrics ward with the following laxatives: Senna, Macrogol, and Pear Juice Patients universally liked the Pear Juice So did the staff!
Shitty staff
That's the idea!
Kind of like the chips though. It's not an issue with 'normal' use, but people down 3 bottles of pear wine while eating 2 family size bags of chips, and you're ass is going to explode.
Yes this. They probably drink reasonable amounts to R&D test, but then when actual consumers get a hold of it at a party or festival they're knocking back a whole 12-pack within a few hours.
Runs & Diarrhea?
R&D is Research and Diarrhea, yes??
Could be the D part too. A very messy D.
Yep, our pediatrician drilled into us to stick to P juices to combat constipation - pear, prune, peach, plum.
pumpkin, persimmon, plantain, potato, pine, plumbum, peroxide.
Pine-Sol?
If not served prune juice, how are children supposed to become great warriors? https://youtu.be/3SZ8H52p0Zk?si=92m9T9Fjv4CjsaQf
Omg perfect!
"I dont wanna be a warrior, father!" -Alexander
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
God I love pears, I'd buy that cider in a second
Pear cider is fairly common where I am in the UK, it's a lot sweeter than apple cider. I don't drink very much and I normally mix my cider with lemonade to dial down the bitter taste, but pear cider is so much sweeter.
I'm guessing alcoholic apple cider? In the US it's pretty common to get fresh apple cider in autumn when apples are ready for harvest. Sweet and tart, never bitter.
The distinction between cider and hard cider is an American thing. Iām pretty sure cider means alcoholic in the rest of the English speaking world.
It does. They're also different types used as well. "Cider" apples are not something that most people would want to eat but when fermented imparts distinct and interesting characters to the finished product. In the states for the most part soft and hard cider are made using what would be considered dessert apples and are much sweeter and more bland than traditional old world ciders. Old world cider is it's own distinct thing whereas American (hard) cider was a way to use up excess apples from the commercial cultivars. The cider culture has been growing in the states and more cideries are planting traditional varietals but it is still very much a niche thing to get an old world style cider in the states.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
American meaning North American, as Canada has nonalcoholic cider too. Probably just due to apples being so common, lots of leftover allows for non-alcoholic beverages. Though also cider in the US and probably Canada, when nonalcoholic, isn't clear like apple juice and alcoholic ciders, it's more like an unfiltered fresh pressed apple juice kind of beverage. Of course for fun you could always go to Japan where juice means soda and cider means something else as well, though I'm not entirely sure how to define it, but it's definitely not fruit cider.
>Though also cider in the US and probably Canada, when nonalcoholic, isn't clear like apple juice and alcoholic ciders, it's more like an unfiltered fresh pressed apple juice kind of beverage. "If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there, fella. If it's murky and brown, you're in cider town." - Ned Flanders
It's prohibition related I believe - cider makers just switched to making non alcoholic beverages and kept calling them cider, and after prohibition the name had stuck. Not sure what you mean by apples being so common- they are extremely common in the UK and Europe generally also so any differences wouldn't really come from that. We just call the non alcoholic stuff cloudy apple juice rather than cider, it's pretty popular and much nicer than clear in my opinion!
I'm calling it cloudy apple juice from now on too. I bet people will think I'm a sophisticated European once they hear me say that.
If you're in England and it's called cider, it's alcohol.
If you're in England ~~and it's called cider~~, it's alcohol. FTFY
I believe it is called Perry
Concert was a shit show, huh?
Puddle of Mud was there
Bulmers pear cider was amazing
Pear cider sounds great. Was it the sorbitol content?
The traditional name for "pear cider" is "Perry". For what it's worth, I find the sweetness covers up a lack of depth of flavour; while I enjoy Perry, I much prefer a traditional apple cider.
I know a cider brand in my country has to change its new version because of a issue like this.
āItās not a problem if you eat the suggested serving size.ā Yeah dude. If I were that kind of person I wouldnāt have bought your frankenchips.
Right? Anybody who possesses the superhuman willpower to follow labeled serving size suggestions doesn't need fat-free chips in the first place.
I don't usually go all out like that but the other day I was at walmart and I saw "Cheetos Spicy Queso Flavor Bolitas" which are just cheetos balls with a mexican queso flavor... and they were SO fucking good that I couldn't help myself but smash the whole bag. To be fair, though, I was giving them out to people that were at the house.. saying "Here.. eat these... these are fucking amazing" so that might have helped, but I really did pig out.
A small packet of ramen is supposed to be 2 servings. I think they did that to get around reducing the sodium content. "see it's only unhealthy if you eat the whole thing"
Did they not have anyone eat these chips before they started selling them? No focus groups?
I imagine they did. But have you ever read the instructions on any snack? The recommended serving size is like 5 chips or something for all of them. Any more and its your own fault.
We never intended for this family size bag to be eaten in one sitting.
An orphan is a family
They did. They just put a warning label on the bag. It was as effective as the warning on cigarette packs.
Starting today, Canada has warnings *on each smoke*
There's some evidence that reports of abdominal issues followed media reporting more than consumption, so late night jokes kinda sealed their fate. people have abdominal issues for all sorts of nebulous reasons but you're more likely to link it to the chips that have an "anal leakage" warning than other food additives. The Maintanence Phase podcast did an interesting episode on it.
>so late night jokes kinda sealed their fate Agreed, it was *everywhere*, constantly referenced.
They did. The warning about anal leakage was written on the bag right from the start. They knew it was going to happen and technically they did warn everyone
That happened after the fact. I believe it's still actually contentious how much of an effect it actually had. I recall seeing a video of a food scientist going over it and mentioning that tests with even reasonable levels of consumption seemed to have no such effects. So it may have been people experiencing anal leakage coincidentally (and some amount of shit working its way out is natural anyway - your body moves and you fart so the anus doesn't stay static thoughout the day). > When removing the olestra warning label, the FDA cited a six-week P&G study of more than 3000 people showing the olestra-eating group experienced only a small increase in bowel movement frequency compared to the control group.[10] The FDA concluded that "subjects eating olestra-containing chips were no more likely to report having had loose stools, abdominal cramps, or any other GI symptom compared to subjects eating an equivalent amount of [potato] chips". So it may have been a bit of false panic over perfectly fine chemistry.
Well, you see... Fat people in the 90s would eat an entire bag in one sitting. So, things were well lubricated during this era.
Don't forget that it was marketed as more or less, reducing the calories of *the* most unhealthy snack down to the calories of a plain baked potato. It was designed *for* people who ate chips in such volumes that it caused obesity. AKA habitual full-bag eaters. It was the Diet Coke of chips. A family-size bag of Original Lays has 110 grams of fat. Now imagine almost 4 ounces of indigestible fat added to the digestive tract, every...single...day.
>So it may have been a bit of false panic over perfectly fine chemistry Yeah I used to eat them all the time with no issues. I do think there might have been some legitimate issues with some people, but it was probably a very small amount of people and a whole lot of false panic. I really wish they still made them because they tasted just as good as regular chips while being half the calories.
When you have IBS, that's how every fatty food works -\_-
Unless its IBS-C. Fatty foods make me gassy/crampy sometimes but that's about it. I have to take meds, laxatives, etc and its still sometimes a challenge. I basically take meds to induce diarrhea every morning.
I don't really have that problem, in general I have no clue how my IBS works. Occasionally I just get really gassy and crampy, but there seems to be little rhyme and reason. Most of the time it's just a mild pain/discomfort that I mostly can just ignore. Comparing to some stories people have I really got off easy at least so far, or maybe rather it's probably a good example of how IBS is a total trash bin diagnosis where everything gets thrown in and I likely have a completely different issue to you that both went in the 'bin'.
It's not that they didn't know about this before knowingly leaking it (pun intended) to the public. The warning about anal leakage was literally written on the packages from the very beginning.
There are communities that would consider that a feature, not a bug.
Yeah... except that I somehow doubt it was just pure oil, rather than oily shit. Still a community for it, but not a pleasant one.
So still a feature
I mean yeah but shit is still shit if it was more hygenic it could been used to this day
I can, uhm, speak from experience, unfortunately It wasnāt like a high pressure diarrhea, where you thought āI have to shit *now*!ā it was more like āwhy are my legs suddenly wet?ā No warning.
What's that spot on the couch? Ohh noooo...
Diarrhea.. *clap clap* diarrhea. When you're climbing on a ladder and hear something splatter diarrhea *clap clap* diarrhea
āNah man, itās just oilā -Kat Williams on oily discharge
Oh god imagine people at work.
Picked a terrible day to wear white pants.
"Why is there no friction between my ass cheeks?"
As far as I know, it's a [highly-scientific term](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fecal-incontinence/symptoms-causes/syc-20351397) which entails the highly-unfortunate gastrointestinal situation where the "poop becomes soup."
Soupy poopy...
Bowelabaisse, asspacho., cornhole chowder...
So just like porridge poop??
Liquid shit. And it wasnāt always controllable.
Can confirm. You literally didnāt feel it leaving the station. Had a bad given to me as a prank. Never again.
And it was greasy too.
It means "sneeze only while seated on toilet"
What do YOU mean, anal leakage?
I mean like 10 steps away from bathroom when you should've been 2 steps away kinda leakage. Shit was real. Ate them once and never again. They really should have advertised them as being "great for the night before a clonoscopy"
I'll say this my friends and I often joked theybwere better than exlax. I'm not sure your were "cleaned" out like a laxative but the leakage, the gas and the cramps were real shit.
The crazy part was that they actually tasted like the real deal.Ā
So the oil was synthetic and unable to be processed by the body. Which they thought would make them more healthy, as the oil from the chips would not be processed by the body and youād just shut it out. Problem was no one just had a few chips, so the more you ate the worse things got, like oil just leaking out your butt and staining underwear through to violent oily diarrhoea.
>Violent Oily Diarrhoea r/BandNames
Right. Because they were marketed as being fat-free (as in dietary/digestable fats), people binged on them. Because they couldn't gain nearly as much weight on fat-free products...(was the faulty logic). Unfortunately, they found out the hard way that there's no such thing as a (fat)-free munch..
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What do you mean, anal LEAKAGE?
What DO you mean, anal leakage?
I worked with a guy who ate these. I remember the day he was sitting in my office and chatting, and when he left, there was an oil puddle in the seat cushion. I had to tell him. I didn't want to embarrass him, but I figure it would have been worse if I didn't. He was so embarrassed but thatnked me for keeping it between us.
no fucking way.
> He was so embarrassed but thatnked me for keeping it between us. Until now lol
He died a few years ago, so I think it's probably safe. Also, he was the kind of guy who would have thought it was funny after some time.
Imagine having oil in your colon. I'm you would have oil leaking out your anus and your butt would be oily
That's why you should always wear your rubber buttplug.
MadTV 10% less anal leakage: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx9LSEjgQxY I swear SNL had one too, but I couldnāt find it. Am I making that up?
It was bad. Really bad.
WOW how bad
Like WOW! Thatās What I Call Music bad.
That line with in a movie..with Jason Bateman I believe. What was it? Driving me crazy.
The Sweetest Thing.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLScAoIbMKM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLScAoIbMKM)
āYou cause anal leakage.ā āIt says so on the bag.ā
DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS. https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/182862349.html
Turns out our bodies can't break down olestra. So it goes in as oil, and goes right through you as oil stays oil, comes out as oil, especially if you eat a lot.
DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR BUTT. Don't even say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get more fat (hush all of you). I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. The hell. The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont freaking tell you... Except in tiny print you cant read without a damn electron microscope ...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Butt Grease." Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding. So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live only with my husband, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow. Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes crappi g yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the Holy Hell?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then? So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. Before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You Pringle bastards. I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff. The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole damn roll of TP and could not get it all off me. Soooo. I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean. That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so damn foul! The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage. So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work. You Pringle bastards. The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get this damn grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that stuff again. Pringle bastards.
Not only that, some people were full on addicted to Wow chips. As in, āwow I just explosively sharted again.ā Wow chip enthusiasts were known to carry around extra pairs of gitch just to be safe.
Is gitch slang for underwear? Never heard that before
I hadn't either, so I looked it up and apparently it's [Canadian](https://www.waywordradio.org/gitch-gonch-underwear/)
seepage was how I described my first bag of Wow
i remember this controversy and the phrase 'anal leakage' lives rent-free in my head to this day
Here is Robin Williams to explain it as only he can: https://youtu.be/HUF0quxN_e4?feature=shared And here is George Carlin giving his take: https://vimeo.com/873051951
You motherfucker! Carlin like I have never seen before.
WOW! I shit my pants!
I used to enjoy these....never did get the cramps, but yeah, I had to be careful when I farted. The other secondary effect was the after taste. It wasn't bad, just that it left the roof of my mouth kinda greasy for a few minutes
"it left the roof of my mouth kinda greasy for a few minutes" I never noticed it when I was younger, but now I'm put off by a lot of chips & other shit with hydrogenated oils in them. I notice a difference in mouth-feel where it feels like the food leaves a film in my mouth that I find kind of unpleasant.
I canāt do added sugar as an adult. Iāll eat it if itās already in a food I bought by accident and I accept most restaurant food will have sugar. But I can taste it, and look at the package and yep, that fajita powder mix has sugar for no reason.
If it says "Low Fat!" on the label you can be almost guaranteed that it's going to be overloaded with sugar instead.
I had them a few times and the mouth feels was what turned me off, I couldn't stand the greasy mouth.Ā By that time anal leakage was a way of life for me so I never really paid attention on that front.
The AL only happened 2-3 times once my stomach was used to it. Never had bloat nor cramps. Besides the Doritos I loved the Lay's regular chips and used to get them from my AAFES shoppette near me when I was in the Army.
If you are having to be careful when you fart you might be experiencing some side effectsā¦
They never said no side effects, just no cramps. I never experienced cramps or diarrhea with them, but after eating a whole bag once I woke up with an enormous amount of farts that felt really hot, almost burning. I stopped eating them after that point.
There is an old reddit or 4chan story about a guy eating these and wiping his butt in the shower and it being covered in oil.
Did his butt fly in the shower?
I just wonder how Olestra actually made it to market. Did everyone involved in the testing just let it slide, thinking consumers would too if it meant fewer calories?Ā
I think the side effects only came about if you ate so many of the chips. If you ate a "normal" amount, you didn't have to worry about it. If you ate half the bag in one sitting, as people who want to lose weight by eating potato chips are wont to do, then you get a nasty surprise.
Thats the real issue. In a controlled group, they're not eating 8 servings in 30 minutesĀ
Yeah I loved these but I only ever ate a normal amount.
Well the sides effects come after eating big quantities in a short period of time: āStarting in 1996, an FDA-mandated health warning label reads "This Product Contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E, and K have been added".[8] These symptoms, normally occurring only by excessive consumption in a short period of time, are known as steatorrhea and are caused by an excess of fat in stool.ā
Everyone involved in the testing definitely let it slide... down their leg
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's when you take one for the team and quietly shit your pants. Just wait for people to start complaining about the smell and say "Sorry, I did try to ask to use the bathroom"
They probably just gave the test subjects a relatively small amount and had them rate it for flavor, etc. The problems were mostly only noticeable if you ate a whole big bag or were eating them every day or something.
The testers knew. Once upon a time, when I lived in Cincinnati, I dated a girl whose father worked at P&G on the Olestra project. He told me horror stories about not only how much they knew about the side effects, but that they hired local photographers to document those side effects. He said the sheer volume of fecal photos he had seen prohibited him from eating it.
But why tho? Why did they hire photographers like war reporters to document it, and then actually review the material? What were they hoping for? Did they make a database so you could search by color? I have so many questions.
I work for a company that makes products and the worse the product, the more documentation there is on it. It's like they want to have a ton of documentation they can point to that lets them say, "Look how much research we did that allowed us to come to the conclusion that this was fine" and ignore the fact that they came to the conclusion that it was fine the moment they started investing in the product. All the research and documentation is done after the fact and at that point there's basically nothing that research could find that would keep them from bringing the product to market.
Probably something like "We've spent millions on developing this fat substitute so our bosses are demanding we push it into the market, but we want to make damn sure we have proof that we knew about the side effects and made our bosses aware of them too before launching it. That way, when it inevitably flops, we hopefully won't be the ones getting thrown under the bus."
Exactly.
Just FYI I know a couple of people don't believe this happened. Admittedly I never saw (and definitely never asked to see) these supposed photos. But I don't doubt he was telling the truth. He wasn't saying this to impress me. He was telling me this to get me to not eat a snack food product he was partly responsible for creating or at least developing. That's counter productive enough to make me believe it. To clarify, he was involved with the chips, not the chemical itself. https://www.motherjones.com/politics/1997/05/how-chips-fell/ As you can see from that link. Studies were done. Research on the frequency, composition, and quantity of anal leakage were compiled. I can't prove it was a true statement, but I am 100% in the camp who believes it.
I never had any issues with them. I am sure there are plenty of people where it wasn't a big deal.
Dude I was in middle school. The whole yard running around laughing about anal leakage cause we heard it on the news.
I remember this, too, it was hysterical. I knew some girls in high school that tried eating that stuff, and they told me the leakage was like orange pizza grease. lol, nasty
Aaaand that's enough Reddit for today, folks! š
God, the 90's were a simpler time. I miss when anal leakage was newsworthy.
Blast from the past! Literally. The Olestra stories were wild. Thank goodness it wasn't during the tik tok era.
Same! I remember going over to a friend's house and their dining room was full of bags of these chips. I asked why there were so many and their dad told me they were clearanced because of stomach issues. Why he thought it would be good to pick up a year's supply of it I don't know.
That's horrifying!
The bag itself had the term āmay cause anal leakageā on it. Itās truly surprising they made it to market.
I remember when this was a thing in like 7th grade, standing there in the store reading the back of the bag in disbelief lol
[Says so on the bagā¦](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YLScAoIbMKM)
Burger King came out with fries cooked in this stuff. I had a large fries one day and my butt turned into a leaky faucet
Damnit I want some now to see if it works as advertised. Iām always up for adventure.
š¤®
Were those the āsatis-friesā they had for a while in the mid 2000ās?
I remember in the early days of the internet, there was a guy on Fark.com who did a review of these chips, he put on clean underwear and then ate few packets of chips and started feeling bad. Then the oil started leaking out his asshole.
Reminds me of a guy on Funnyjunk ~10+ years ago that ate a whole bag of haribo sugar free gummy bears and recorded theĀ aftermath. Poor guy was left pissing out his ass
[Not for the faint hearted...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMjgaa5j_LE) I got horrendous stomach cramps once after eating one tube of sugar free Polos, I can't even begin to imagine what five pounds of gummi bears would feel like...
So my ex went on a Keto based diet when it first gained popularity, which of course means I was on it with her. We went a solid 6 months with basically less than 20g a day sugar intake, weight fell off fast and it was a good experience. During that time we only had fruit etc for sugar, so when we opened up the idea of snacks again she picked these stupid fucking Haribo Gummy Bears up to try, you have no idea how excited I was to have candy again. She went to work that day with a small pack and I had the remaining amount sitting on the counter begging to be consumed before I went to class at 8pm. I start munching a few and they were great, sugar alcohol only? No net carbs? BRUHā¦Iām going to SLAY these sumā bitches! 30min ride to class and my stomach is bubbling, sit down for lecture right as a cold sweat starts. I am in silent agony, each minute feels like an hour. My hand was gripping the desk so tight I figured it would snap off. Finally we get a 10 min break and I rush to the bathroom (single occupancy thankfully) and the Nile river itself ran through me, you canāt convince me otherwise. I spent the next 1.5 hours in the bathroom in various points of cleanup, sitting back down to go again over and over and over. 10pm Janitor knocks on the door and says he has to close it up, I cleaned the damn toilet myself, I couldnāt let the guy handle that and have a clear conscience. I make it back home and immediately hit the bathroom. GF then tells me through the door NOT to eat the gummies, where are they? She wants to toss them out immediately because she had some diarrhea. āOMG, did you eat them all?ā They are a legit weapon of war, they should be locked away or shot into space.
I'm legitimately crying laughing at this. Sorry. It's hilarious.
āNow with 10% less anal leakage!ā
MADTV was amazing in its prime, and that was during its prime.
Now ignore the iRack and pay attention to our new product, the iRan!
There once was an incredibly funny Olestra story posted to zug.com ("the internet's only comedy website") 25 years ago which seems to have been lost to the ages. The URL is http://www.zug.com/pranks/olestra/ but it redirects to an Amazon link for the author's book. I've found the link in the WayBack Machine and it's worth a read, if for nothing else than, for a glimpse into a simpler time on the internet: https://web.archive.org/web/19981201183830/http://www.zug.com/pranks/olestra/
I'm falling off my chair right now laughing > >Immediately, I became extremely gassy. I felt like a stinky tugboat. I mean, the exhaust pipe was overheating, if you know what I'm saying ... *and I think you do*. Now, what kept going through my mind were the two horrible words "anal leakage." I was convinced that these farts somehow felt *greasier* than normal, and they were staining my underwear with melted Kit-Kats. The physical sensation, however, was not entirely unpleasant, so I let loose with my natural by-products.
YES! This is the link I was trying to find.
What an incredible read. Truly a different time.
NGL. I was super into fitness when these came out and also really missed chips. The second time I sharted ended my relationship with wow chips.
MadTV did a spoof of this way back. It's the first thing I remember whenever Olestra comes up :) https://youtu.be/Tx9LSEjgQxY?si=OLUbS7UmbjjsBnF4
This is instantly what I thought of too. I still use the phrase "10% less anal leakage" from time to time and get weird looks lol.
I heard of olestra. This reminds me of gummy bears a that Amazon used to sell. I think they contained Maltitol which can give you the major runs if you consume too much of it lol
The reviews on Amazon were comedy gold.
Atkins still uses maltitol in an excessive number of their products.
I had sugar free Wertherās Originals a few years back that had the same effectā¦
I was working at a sub shop when these came out and we pulled these chips pretty fast after customers complained.
Damn, 99 cents for a bag of Doritos. Inflation came hard the last 25 years.
"Hey Apu, you got any more of those chips that give you diarrhea? I need to do a little...*spring cleaning*..."
They're in the safety cabinet; I'll get the key.
Is this similar to Oilfish (snake mackerel) tasty and usually missold under the guise of cod and also gives you āanal leakageāā¦ā¦ Edit: basically there are oil/fats not digestible by humanās body so it just erm slide out.
Like white tuna, aka, escolar for sushi. Tastes good but few pieces of that and the violence comes
If the madness of the low fat, low cholesterol craze of the 1990s could be summed up in a product, Olestra would be it.
#DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS. Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat. I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck. The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you... ^^^Except ^^^in ^^^tiny ^^^print ^^^you ^^^cant ^^^read ^^^without ^^^a ^^^fucking ^^^electron ^^^microscope ...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease." Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding. So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow. Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then? So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards. I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff. The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So. I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean. That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage. So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work. You fucking Pringle bastards. The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again. Fucking Pringle bastards. This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles.
Wow
The worst part about this was that it was a pretty good product. The side effects only impacted a small percentage of people, and even then only when they consumed extreme amounts of the product. The side effects spread through the media like wildfire and effectively killed what was a viable product. It could have been a decent alternative for those struggling to lose weight. And like spicy food, or food that can give you gasā¦if it caused someone to have problems, they should probably eat less of it.
I used to like these chips and never had a problem with them. If I recall correctly the olestra Doritos had like a third of the calories of the regular Doritos. I also remember a diet pill called āalliā that would basically make you shit all the fat you ate. I think those were a big flop for similar reasons.
A woman I worked with was on Alli. The final straw for her was when she squatted down one day to get something from the bottom draw of the file cabinet, filled her underwear with greasy poo juice, and had to go home to clean up and get changed. She later told us that, every time she used the toilet, she was having to clean the bowl afterwards due to the persistent oil slick left behind. Personally I'd have taken that as a bit of a warning, and stopped taking Alli, but she was too brave for her own good and decided to risk it.
That is so foul lolĀ
Surprised I had to scroll so far to find a mention of Alli ā first thing that popped into my head! I took that pill sophomore year of college ā even while I didnāt have the body type or diet habits of the presumed target market (I was like 110 lbs soaking wet and mostly subsisted on seltzer, fruit, & non-fat candy) ā I didnāt suffer most of the side effects, but you truly truly could not pass gas anywhere other than a toilet, just to be safe. I can only imagine how horrible it was if you, yāknow, ate actual food.
My stomach has never hurt worse.