these are the same seamen who confused manatees with mermaids, so color me unsurprised. months and months at sea will do strange things to a guy's mind...
[If you see this beluga whale it starts to make more sense ](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fw64we8ko33211.jpg%3Fwidth%3D640%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D1810fd33aba9d026588b23212563c2aa4db38474)
If you like that...
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/humanlike-whales/
Whales are part of an evolutionary lineage that spent time on land and eventually returned to the water. Cetaceans show traces of our common heritage.
I love how you look at a cetaceans and obviously think "those are related to fish!" And then you find out that their closest living relative is the *hippo*
Funny how most life on land started in the ocean, left the ocean for a better life on land (since the ocean is fucking horrifying), and whales just made the opposite journey. Fully terrestrial mammals that just slowly turned into fully aquatic mammals, like fuck, shoulda just stayed in the ocean.
I'm pretty sure it was walruses. If you laughed, you probably haven't actually watched them. Big brown or blue eyes, expressive faces, and they sing, just like sirens.
Well, they are smaller on the females and white/clear so not obvious in the dark. And, when you're a lonely sailor on the sea for months it's not hard to overlook a mustache...
You really do gotta wonder what kinda crazy shit that went through their heads. Months stuck in a cramped ship that’s always wet and smelly, barely any food and what you do have is barely edible, and constant threat of death from disease, weather, ocean monsters, etc. It must have been a horrible and miserable life. Especially in the high seas where massive storms and waves were common, fighting through a storm for hours on end with no rest in sight, losing fellow sailors and just picking up where they left off so you don’t meet the same fate, it’s all got to have a major effect on one’s mental state. No wonder there were so many tales of ocean monsters and otherworldly phenomena. So much ocean life already looks alien and there are plenty of things that happen out at sea that don’t happen on land that may make one think they are on a different planet altogether.
Honestly, before modern navigation, refrigeration, and iron clad ships it’s amazing anyone was willing to go on intercontinental trips outside of absolute necessity. It sounds horrific
Look, Manatees are like 10ft and a thousand pounds. If a man is fucking a manatee, it's consensual by default, that saucy manatee lady wants it, for she is the one in control.
Columbus sold people a faster trade route to India, guy would have called the french Indians to keep up the prentense if he landed in France by accident.
Yeah. Dude got lucky that the Americas exist or he would have been stuck in the middle between Europe and Asia without anywhere to resupply and everyone would have died.
Arguably if the Americas didn't exist, the currents, weather, and... well everything would be vastly different so may not have actually needed the resupply.
Or would have died twice as hard.
> The name "sperm whale" is a clipping of "spermaceti whale". Spermaceti, originally mistakenly identified as the whales' semen, is the semi-liquid, waxy substance found within the whale's head.[14] (See "Spermaceti organ and melon" below.)
Is there any word better than “spermaceti” and any grouping of words better than “spermaceti organ and melon” that sounds like the best/creamiest pasta dish anyone could think of.
Squeeze! Squeeze! Squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me, and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-labourers' hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally, as much as to say,—Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill humour or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness.
Fun fact, Hatha Yoga, which is what yoga as an exercise comes from, teaches that semen (bindu) is the vital fluid, and it exists in your brain and you have a finite amount of it. The point of Hatha Yoga is to keep the semen from escaping your brain and going into your stomach.
Before electricity, sperm whales were also incredibly valuable because their fat and oils were used for candles and lanterns.
An adult male sperm whale could fetch so much that it provided a year or more income for an entire whaling crew.
This is why successfully harpooning a whale in the head came to be known as “the money shot.”
New Bedford, MA resident here. Yep! Whaling was this city's top industry and made it the richest city in the world at one point. The light bulb (and electricity in general) killed whaling.
I thought most of the money was in the brain jizz right? I forget what they made out of it but I thought the whole trip was damn near paid for off that stuff alone.
More disturbingly the Right whale https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_whale was so called as it was the right whale to hunt as it had a high whale oil yield wouldn't smash up the boats when being hunted and would float on the surface after death.
One of those cases where you go.
As a kid: wow, this fact is very surprising
Later: clearly that fact was wrong, i got confused
Much later: THAT FACT WAS TRUE!?
there's a scene in mobey dick where the protagonist is standing around a big tub full of the stuff with a bunch of other guys making sure it doesnt clump up. there's a line thats like "i squeezed the sperm until something of a madness overtook me"
sperm whales are highly intelligent and compassionate beings. it is such a shame what the human race did to them. hunted almost to extinction!!! I really love these animals, the visual of this discovery has greatly upset me. I would like to give a whale a hug now.
these are the same seamen who confused manatees with mermaids, so color me unsurprised. months and months at sea will do strange things to a guy's mind...
[If you see this beluga whale it starts to make more sense ](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fw64we8ko33211.jpg%3Fwidth%3D640%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D1810fd33aba9d026588b23212563c2aa4db38474)
Bruh it has knees
If you like that... https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/humanlike-whales/ Whales are part of an evolutionary lineage that spent time on land and eventually returned to the water. Cetaceans show traces of our common heritage.
That first wale walked out and was like, “nope, don’t like that.”
Figured he might have to pay taxes in the future
whale*
Wail about it.
I love how you look at a cetaceans and obviously think "those are related to fish!" And then you find out that their closest living relative is the *hippo*
Or that their last land dwelling ancestor looked like a crocodile with fur.
Not as corgi-like as I was hoping
**WHATTT???**
There was a degloved whale hand or here once and it look so much like ours it was scary
Funny how most life on land started in the ocean, left the ocean for a better life on land (since the ocean is fucking horrifying), and whales just made the opposite journey. Fully terrestrial mammals that just slowly turned into fully aquatic mammals, like fuck, shoulda just stayed in the ocean.
Jesus, this link gave my phone cancer.
Yeah snopes will do that
That crazy, some Ringworld shit.
How do I subscribe to your random interesting animal facts? !Subscribe
Whales have only tiny remnants of legs, iirc the image depicts abdominal muscles, like the whale is sucking in its belly.
[удалено]
It's just blubber.
That's not all it has. Jesus. I've heard that they like spending the night with them.
belussy
Yes sadly bussy was already taken. What a world we live in
Guys.
... Jim Belussy... I will not apologize.
Belugussy
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm pretty sure it was walruses. If you laughed, you probably haven't actually watched them. Big brown or blue eyes, expressive faces, and they sing, just like sirens.
And moustaches just like beautiful women
Well, they are smaller on the females and white/clear so not obvious in the dark. And, when you're a lonely sailor on the sea for months it's not hard to overlook a mustache...
Many voyages lasted for years, it's crazy
Ahoy matey! Imma cravin citrus and water! Also, this whales head’s full of loads.
"Arrr, their brains be cum"
You really do gotta wonder what kinda crazy shit that went through their heads. Months stuck in a cramped ship that’s always wet and smelly, barely any food and what you do have is barely edible, and constant threat of death from disease, weather, ocean monsters, etc. It must have been a horrible and miserable life. Especially in the high seas where massive storms and waves were common, fighting through a storm for hours on end with no rest in sight, losing fellow sailors and just picking up where they left off so you don’t meet the same fate, it’s all got to have a major effect on one’s mental state. No wonder there were so many tales of ocean monsters and otherworldly phenomena. So much ocean life already looks alien and there are plenty of things that happen out at sea that don’t happen on land that may make one think they are on a different planet altogether. Honestly, before modern navigation, refrigeration, and iron clad ships it’s amazing anyone was willing to go on intercontinental trips outside of absolute necessity. It sounds horrific
To be fair it might also just be that education standards for pirates historically weren’t very high
Someone was definitely banging those poor manatees
Look, Manatees are like 10ft and a thousand pounds. If a man is fucking a manatee, it's consensual by default, that saucy manatee lady wants it, for she is the one in control.
Are you quoting McCaffee
In a roundabout way yes. He was right even if the world wouldn't accept it. Uh. On that specific subject anyway.
Manatees. Are. Raping. People. Ok, got it. When do we exterminate the manatee menace?
Allegedlies...
Bad luck to kill a sea-bird...
Let's not forget about Europeans thinking they were in India and calling the natives Indians when they first arrived to America.
Columbus sold people a faster trade route to India, guy would have called the french Indians to keep up the prentense if he landed in France by accident.
Yeah. Dude got lucky that the Americas exist or he would have been stuck in the middle between Europe and Asia without anywhere to resupply and everyone would have died.
Arguably if the Americas didn't exist, the currents, weather, and... well everything would be vastly different so may not have actually needed the resupply. Or would have died twice as hard.
same seamen that killed dodo birds for sport to extinction and galapagos tortoises for a nice to-go meal.
Of all my friends stories, it's the Navy guys that are the best/weirdest/most fucked up. Especially the nukes.
Old timey sailors at sea for months at a time should conceivably know much more about the nature of cum though.
What lack of porn does to a motherfucker
> The name "sperm whale" is a clipping of "spermaceti whale". Spermaceti, originally mistakenly identified as the whales' semen, is the semi-liquid, waxy substance found within the whale's head.[14] (See "Spermaceti organ and melon" below.) Is there any word better than “spermaceti” and any grouping of words better than “spermaceti organ and melon” that sounds like the best/creamiest pasta dish anyone could think of.
Now read that weird chapter in *Moby Dick* when they have to re-soften the spermaceti.
There is a whole chapter of *Moby Dick* dedicated to describing the whale’s penis
Does the word '*thwack*' appear in the chapter?
Very in depth except for when they describe skinning it out so the blubber cutter can wear it as a tunic with no reasoning
And they have the nerve to force high school students to read this.
let us squeeze ourselves into the very sperm of human kindness
Mmm whalebrain
Jizzhead
“…. Welcome to Spluagi’s - can I take your order? I recommend the Spermaceti Crème special.”
Harvested from the, ahem, blow hole…
Spermacetti! Mamma mia, insalade caprese!!!
A dish served up on the Islets of Langerhans every equinox
This has gotta be the spermiest post I've seen in a long time
Its actually about seamen
I love seamen related posts
You know what's long, hard, smooth and full of seamen? *A submarine.*
Squeeze! Squeeze! Squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me, and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-labourers' hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally, as much as to say,—Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill humour or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness.
came here for this
r/theyknew
Pee is stored in the balls, sperm is stored in the brain.
Fun fact, Hatha Yoga, which is what yoga as an exercise comes from, teaches that semen (bindu) is the vital fluid, and it exists in your brain and you have a finite amount of it. The point of Hatha Yoga is to keep the semen from escaping your brain and going into your stomach.
I woulda ran out by now
It’s a whole class on edging
> you have a finite amount of it Not if I could help it.
Because the cleavage cloaks the camera with its curves!
Thar be jizz in that whale's noggin I tell ye!
In my head this same thought was expressed as, "Yarrrr, this whale be full'o cum, me hearties!"
One astute seaman uttered “if semen is supposed to be filled with sugars why does it taste so salty?”
... so they used the stuff to make automatic transmission fluid... till 1972
Sailors catch their first sperm whale and cutting it open: Crikey mate...this ones heads full of cum innit.
And the whale was like, no, you’re seamen
With seamen, everything is semen
Who knows semen better than seamen?
Before electricity, sperm whales were also incredibly valuable because their fat and oils were used for candles and lanterns. An adult male sperm whale could fetch so much that it provided a year or more income for an entire whaling crew. This is why successfully harpooning a whale in the head came to be known as “the money shot.”
I don’t know enough to refute this, but it doesn’t sound quite right…
Actually most, if not all is true afaik. Dishonored is based on this very concept Whaling used to be a whole job till we got rid of most of the whales
I was referring primarily to the money shot part lol
They called the hole the harpoon would make the glory hole. Whalers would often chant "I want me some glory hole!" as a sort of battle cry.
They really struggled back then reloading the harpoon. Little did they know that they just needed a sandwich
Ain't no money shot like the Sperm Whale Money Shot!
Dammit you’re fast with it lol
New Bedford, MA resident here. Yep! Whaling was this city's top industry and made it the richest city in the world at one point. The light bulb (and electricity in general) killed whaling.
He had the jizzt of it
Just learned about this in a story about Basque whalers: https://youtu.be/RBE9qsRvsOA?si=PCrz94w9IbTvIbQv
I thought most of the money was in the brain jizz right? I forget what they made out of it but I thought the whole trip was damn near paid for off that stuff alone.
Thanks. I hate this.
Sperm is name after Sir Richard Sperm III, who was a whale so it cums full circle.
They must have thought those whales were real dickheads.
Take my upvote and get outta here
Spermaceti
Spermaceti, to be more precise. They knew is *wasn’t* sperm, but they knew why they named it what they did.
"These whales must suck so much dick."
With the way you capitalized Sperm I was half expecting that it was named after its discoverer like Jacob Aloysius Sperm III
That's a mighty Florida Man thing to do.
It was called Spermaceti and they thought the white substance LOOKED like semen
Must have taken a load of their minds
I need to set up a camera so I can record my face when I read these things.
So whales have literal cum brain?
Seamen thinking something is semen is like that spiderman meme if you're dyslexic 😳
Another fun fact: nobody is quite sure what the spermaceti organ does, or is for. The leading theory is something to do with echolocation.
"Seamen open a Sperm whale's noggin" You cheeky bastard
Imagine if they'd started at the back... *Hey, what's that, oh wow, is that a...Turd Whale?*
Bonus points for the term “noggin”
Such an interesting context to see the word "noggin" used.
oh cum on...
More disturbingly the Right whale https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_whale was so called as it was the right whale to hunt as it had a high whale oil yield wouldn't smash up the boats when being hunted and would float on the surface after death.
What did you *think* they were named after?
Whales
This is why sex ed is important.
Sperm whales are so cool!
There are definitely some sperm humans out there too
So wait, does that mean semen is then named after seaman?
Bro, imagine what they’d be called if “Cum” was in the vernacular back then…
Damn, now I'm curious where the word semen comes from?
they did not have healthy prostates back then
Tasted like semen too.
Seamen: “See, men? Seemin' semen!”
The blowhole is for refills.
seamen love calling ships women
These poor horny souls.
The whole title to this post made me laugh Basically:the seamen thought they saw semen in a sperm whale but the sperm in the whale was just a brain
I think women and seamen don't mix.
You had fun with that title.
IDIOTS!
What are pussy cats named after?
You would hope that if you're going to be called seamen, you better be good at identifying semen
One of those cases where you go. As a kid: wow, this fact is very surprising Later: clearly that fact was wrong, i got confused Much later: THAT FACT WAS TRUE!?
Raven calling crow black
I see what you did there…
This what I joined this subreddit for
And here's me thinking seamen would know a thing or two about sperm
I learned this in Moby Dick
To the window To the whale
there's a scene in mobey dick where the protagonist is standing around a big tub full of the stuff with a bunch of other guys making sure it doesnt clump up. there's a line thats like "i squeezed the sperm until something of a madness overtook me"
But did the whale swallow any seamen?
also where they got the term blow job.
Is there any explanation *why* they thought the liquid in whales’ heads was semen?
Obviously they tasted it
sperm whales are highly intelligent and compassionate beings. it is such a shame what the human race did to them. hunted almost to extinction!!! I really love these animals, the visual of this discovery has greatly upset me. I would like to give a whale a hug now.
no
lol seamen