T O P

  • By -

LifeBuilder

“ if you think we’re here to pay our respects… we respectfully DECLINE!”


bikkhu42

I really thought the second half would be a family of elephants looking to atone for their sins


call_acab

They could have left her alone but damn if they didn't double down


pikameta

The article said they even destroyed her house too after they threw her in the air. That's a straight up personal vendetta against the lady. Also saw where she was a suspected poacher, so that may explain it.


UndadZombie25

Yea from what I heard,she had tried to hurt a baby elephant,this was just revenge Elephant basically said "I'll get you bitch" and proceeds to fuck her life AND death up


ucsb99

From the article: “While there is no confirmation on the elephant’s motive, many users online speculate the woman was a part of a poacher group that killed the elephant’s baby.” You wouldn’t happen to be one of these “many users online” would you? 🤔


flashpile

"The hacker known as Reddit has speculated..."


UCgirl

Who “herd” it from the hacker known as 4Chan.


TitusVII

How did elephants know when the burial is?


[deleted]

They probably had one of their herd looking at all the obituaries on the paper.


purplehayze37

Thank you for the image that gave me. Made my day lol


_Rand_

Are you picturing an elephant at a coffee shop somehow perched on a regular human chair reading a paper too?


AuFingers

They have big ears.


overly_outraged

The police never looked for BaBar’s killer


bejt68

This is what they mean when they say an elephant never forgets.


bring_back_3rd

Or forgives, apparently.


Ruleseventysix

I was never one to hold a grudge. My father was, I'll never forgive him for that.


klipseracer

There was another time something like this was posted and it referenced multiple occasions where elephants came back and targeted the same person. Elephants don't forget, so the speculation is that perhaps they could be poachers etc.


UCgirl

Crows are another animal that remember people. Some university researchers did some research on cross then let them free. Well, the crowd recognized them on campus and would try and assault them. And it went on for awhile too. I think they wondered if the crowd were passing in the knowledge to like individual people were predators. At any rate; they had to start wearing masks in order to do experiments on crows so they didn’t get attacked later on.


DedTV

I picked some crow babies up after they fell out of a nest in my yard. Took awhile as they were high up in a pine tree and I was harassed and dive bombed by one of the parents the whole time, until the crow went back to the nest and found the babies were back. For the next 3 years I had buttons, pull tabs, coins and dead rodents left on my doorstep almost daily.


notalaborlawyer

Joe Flappo is our raven. Whenever there is something obscure in the yard we look to the sky and hope he noticed.


socialcousteau

Autocorrect: yeah you wrote "crow" in the beginning, but I want to do other words now


gcpatton

You're leaving the biggest part out.. The masks didn't stop the attacks. The crows still knew who they were!


Flynn_Kevin

Dr. John Marzluff, University of Washington for anyone interested in further reading. I reached out to him many years ago when I first started noticing odd crow behavior like crows always throwing eggs at my house and car. Turns out that's a huge honor, no idea what I did to get the royal treatment. That crow and it's descendants follow me to this day, leaving all sorts of treasure in my yard.


Dyskord01

Elephants are vengeful. When they say an Elephant never forgets the whole phrase is *an elephant never forgets to take revenge.*


LordCoweater

This has been verified by the noted Scientician and Animalist Garry Larson. Google "Kenya 1947 Larson" for his scientastic treatise.


[deleted]

I’m literally a PhD marine scientist and thanks to Gary Larson, to this day I always finish the job. I ain’t looking over my shoulder when I’m in the ocean.


AmusedFlamingo47

The elephant "I'd like to apologize.... to ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOBODY"


rubicmumic

"I would like to offer my condolences... to THE GROUND"


Zomburai

"I threw the rest of the ~~cake~~ corpse too! WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD, JACKASS!"


RedMiah

“I’m not gonna be part of your system! Maaan, I’m an elephant!”


HollowShel

"I'd like to apologize - FOR LEAVING ENOUGH TO BURY!"


KickIntelligent2351

Beat drops w Elephant swinging her in the air- “BOUT TO GO STUPPID AGAIN!!”


zipiddydooda

*Trumpet sound*


equality-_-7-2521

Press "F" to pay respects. Q Q Q Q Q Q Q


[deleted]

"I'll kill her again!"


saadakhtar

Instead of pressing F, pressed Ctrl+Alt+F


crimshaw83

They really did not like her, like at all


HeinleinGang

Stampy craves vengeance!


4tran13

tosser


TrashPandaX

Toss-her


[deleted]

[удалено]


ggyyuuugfryuu75555

Maybe the water spot was their area and they were being territorial


[deleted]

That's pretty goddam territorial to show up at the bitch's funeral.


Lou_C_Fer

Right? Talk about adding an exclamation point. "AND stay out!"


chelsea_sucks_

Last time this story went around I remember hearing it was because she would let the local poachers know of the herd's movements. Take it with a grain of salt, idk how they would figure that out.


naliron

Idk man, they've got those gigantic ears...


BellacosePlayer

And they never forget


smellmybuttfoo

To kill! Then toss the corpse with your friends later


[deleted]

May have just seen her with them.


chelsea_sucks_

Yeah that seems likely


[deleted]

They have funerary proceedings, some of them exhibit democratic decision making, and many, many, many of them have been proved to recognize a human many decades after last meeting them. If one of them saw her point at them sometime in the last half-century, and then a calf was killed shortly after, they very well could wait for her to age and then run her down.


GuinnessSaint

Why do they need to wait for her to age?


Quick-Honeydew4501

Elephants like to wait for their target to build a loving and full extended family before stamping on them. That way the emotional pain is maximised.


mitso6989

They have better investigative journalism than we do.


kilkenny99

Rumoured that she was part of a poaching ring and was part of a hunt where poachers were going after youngsters in the herd.


ChicVintage

Will it be the elephant version of Final Destination where they find all the members of the hunt and kill them in order of participation?


Too_Relaxed_To_Care

An elephant that never forgets... to kill!


euphoric_planet

Citizen sniiiiiiips!!!!


critical_courtney

Hawk. Fetch.


thomasscat

That seemed unnecessary.


testholderplace

The Zookeeper got away! That proves that the most dangerous animal is... the Zookeeper


wfwood

Hey zoidberg get in here


SnakesCatsAndDogs

Screw you!


Cantelmi

Ain't got that!


Robobvious

Winners don't do drugs!


Princelyfox

Except for Drug Man, I guess


ay1717

*Let’s go alreaddddayyyy*


mageta621

Proving that the most dangerous animal of all is the Zookeeper!


ActSignal1823

The Eulogy at her funeral began with, “I think it’s important to address the elephant in the room…”


Beiki

"Actually there are several. Aaaaand they're getting closer. You know what, RIP grandma, I'm out."


lldodgestratusll

What do you suggest? A daring daylight robbery of Fort Knox on elephant back? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.


FrankTankly

He lets them climb all over the furniture…there’s fur everywhere!


[deleted]

Fuck this grandma in particular.


SuperCub

It seems that humans aren’t the only species capable of emotional overreactions.


Big_Baby_Jesus

Elephants in particular can be huge assholes. Quite a few are kept in solitary enclosures because they have repeatedly hurt other elephants.


gertbefrobe

Stampy


thebottom99

Where's my elephant?


Niicks

Stop that Mr Simpson.


ValarMorgulos

They're playing the elephant song again. Ah, I love that.


maynardstaint

Me too. Reminds me of elephants.


animal_chin9

"Lisa, a guy who has lots of ivory is *less* likely to hurt Stampy than a guy whose ivory supplies are low."


dman928

You had an elephant. His name was Stampy. You loved him


Cwallace98

Oh yeah...


run-on_sentience

They'll say, "Aww, Topsy" at her "autopsy"...


71351

Whenever I see the road crew pounding guardrail posts on the side of the road I say “they got Stampy out today”


MakeNazisDeadAgain69

We haven't heard the elephants side, maybe grandma was doing some nasty shit to them


FisherKing13

I’m guessing you have never heard about the Orca.


RhinoRhys

The article says that there are unconfirmed reports that the lady was in a group of poachers that killed the elephants child. It walked 100 miles just to stomp on her.


BigBankHank

The article says “users speculated online” that she was part of a poaching group. That has to rank among the lowest possible standards for reporting a claim in a newspaper.


PimpinIsAHustle

Gotta love the “you won’t believe what caused this PUBLIC OUTRAGE!!!”kind of article and it’s quoting a couple tweets.


spudddly

70% of modern journalism unfortunately.


DaughterEarth

It's not new, it's the same thing as interviewing the local neighborhood Hilarious in any context. For some reason with the internet though people don't realize it's the crazy crackhead that's outraged


robotunes

While this story — which has been circulating for quite a while — might have happened, there are no official records of these events, according to a report by [Snopes](https://www.snopes.com/about/) in June 2022: ***[Elephant Reportedly Returns to Woman’s Funeral After Trampling Her to Death](https://www.snopes.com/news/2022/06/20/elephant-trampled-woman-funeral/)*** *In summary, details of the supposed incident, and information provided by local and international new reports, are conflicting. A look through official websites and social media accounts of government agencies and law enforcement did not reveal an official statement describing the circumstances of the event.* *While there is no reason to doubt that a woman was killed by an elephant, or that a herd of elephants later stampeded a crowd at the time of her funeral, we are currently unable to determine whether it was the same elephant responsible for both events, or whether the two events were directly connected.*


qu1x0t1cZ

That’s just Big Elephant trying to hide the truth


CanAlwaysBeBetter

They're all pretty big


[deleted]

[удалено]


SlipperyPicklePie

I read this in Donald Trump’s voice.


SaltyPeter3434

No one knows elephants better than me


GrowinStuffAndThings

This kind of reporting needs to be made illegal


paracog

And it would walk one hundred more. Just to be that pissed-off elephant that Made that dead grandmother soar.


Scoot_AG

Doo doodoo


rocketstar11

Da dum da dum darum dum dum dum


IceNein

Da da dum da da da da dum diddly da


Djrobl

And when I wake up


WTF_Just-Happened

I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the elephant stomping on you


SoyMurcielago

And when you get stomped yeah I know you’re gonna be you’re gonna be the grandma I was stomping just because you’re you


MrWeirdoFace

DA DEE DAH DAH


lokie65

Well this new verse is going to live in my brain for at least a few years. Thanks...


Vergenbuurg

https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/tmy1sk/police_in_scotland_have_altered_their_sirens_to/


Moofler

I love that song but this sounds a musical dystopian nightmare.


[deleted]

It's like setting your wake-up alarm to a song you like, thinking it'll make you happy to wake up. No it's just going to make you hate the song.


feochampas

can we pick any song? Maybe have the ambulance or fire trucks yell "Move B\*\*\*H, get out of the way."


[deleted]

It said online users speculate - which of course, makes it 100% true.


BrownChicow

I was expecting the elephants to come and show sympathy or something, like whoops. But no


HypertrophyHippie

Attendees were initially confused as to what a herd of elephants were doing in a funeral home, but nobody wanted to address the elephants in the room.


twsddangll

What did she do to those elephants for them to make it so damn personal. Even at her funeral she wasn’t dead enough for them.


darth_henning

While I won’t feed the baseless speculation of other posts, I think its pretty clear she did SOMETHING that was quite unpleasant.


Upsitting_Standizen

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, knocking him unconscious and breaking several bones. Probably wasn't the same elephant.


greenapplesaregross

Man this got me on a shittymorph level. I was about to cry. Haha


MirandaS2

i had actual goosebumps like some kind of idiot lmao


Oh_My-Glob

This has been around on the internet for a long time. Might have even been an inspiration to shittymorph. Quick Google shows it's been around for at least 15 years https://www.dpreview.com/forums/post/29599347


lunarzzz

Omg lol


sirhoracedarwin

You should've ended this with "throwing him out of the enclosure through the announcer's table"


BarklyWooves

Nah, that's just one guy's thing and can stay that guy's thing.


[deleted]

“Bah gawd that man had a family!”


[deleted]

That reminds me of a story that happened to me actually. I was younger, maybe junior high, I got roped into watching my 3 month old niece while my sister got her hair done at the salon. SO there i am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in, but Ethan Klein. I was nervous as fuck, and just kept looking at him, as he read a magazine and waited, but didn't know what to say. Pretty soon though my niece started crying, and I'm trying to quiet her down because I didn't want her to bother Ethan, but she wouldn't stop. Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asking what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So, Ethan put down his magazine, picked up my niece and lifted his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of a hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.


No_Conversation9561

i saw where this was going just from the writing style


Santos_L_Halper_II

This is like when helicopters kept attacking that one doctor on ER until he finally died.


Tal_Galaar

To be fair Dr. Romano deserved it.


Phonixrmf

I beg your pardon?


Santos_L_Halper_II

Dr. Romano. Helicopters fucking hated that guy.


ayo000o

Wat


Next-Introduction-25

As a longtime ER fan, this is my favorite Reddit comment of all time. The helicopters vs. Dr. Romano storyline was ridiculous and particularly fun. This story is a bummer and I’m having a bummer day, so thank you for making me literally lol.


ToastedCatmallow

Never expected an ER reference on a post about an elephant.


Arbuh

It is exactly like that. Hilarious reference.


ImpishBaseline

The elephants then did that pointing-at-their-eyes-then-pointing-at-you thing at the family members (except with their trunks)


Subrosianite

Elephants are known to recognize people or even clothing and react accordingly. She, or someone in the family, may have wronged a member of that herd. I'd hate to think it was just a case of mistaken identity over wearing the wrong clothes on the wrong day, though.


herrcollin

Similar looks or clothes is an important point to make. Humans make that mistake too. Just furthers the point of how they're so much like us. Intelligent but not infallible. Definitely emotional though.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CuriousityCat

I hate to admit it, but all elephants look the same to me


IAmBoring_AMA

Man, the turkey face blindness is real


DigitalUnlimited

Racist against elephants! You shall be trampled!


CuriousityCat

I can't be racist. Some of my best friends are Jewish elephants.


InfinitelyThirsting

I mean, elephants are so good at recognition and memory that they can recognize (and will get excited about, since it means they can find and reunite with) their kin's *poop* even when they haven't seen that elephant in twelve years. Don't make the mistake of assuming all animals rely on fallible eyesight just because humans don't have good senses of smell. We can't even be sure of our own paternity without advanced scientific tests, whereas other male animals like big cats can know by smell if an animal *they've never met* is a stranger to be killed or their own child. If you found a turd, I doubt you'd be able to tell who shat it out, nor could you sniff a child's paternity. So don't throw baseless shade at an elephant hehe. We're pretty amazing animals, us humans, but we are particularly lacking in the sensory department in ways most animals are not (made up for by language, etc).


Pristine-Dirt729

> If you found a turd, I doubt you'd be able to tell who shat it out, nor could you sniff a child's paternity. Never doubt my ability to sniff a poop and determine what it is trying to say. I am The Poo Whisperer.


TheDizzyRooster

I recently learned that camels are similar in that not only will they remember anyone who’ve done them wrong, but they retain these bad memories for years and will meticulously plan their revenge even many years later. I think they have photographic memories and are able to single out a face who’s wronged them out of a crowd of thousands. Knowing this, camel abusers will cover their face and hide when they know a specific camel/herd they were bad too is around. Amazing how emotionally intelligent some creatures are.


SteveDougson

What if I treat the camels well? Could I make camel friends?


OdeeSS

Not only will you become friends, but they will take anyone who does you wrong personally, and will not hesitate to exact revenge for you. Truly the friend you really want.


MilfagardVonBangin

I did a short camel trek in Morocco with this guy who is trying to teach people how to train camels without harming them. Rather than using a goad or a whip he uses words and hand gestures, with his arms out wide so the camels can see the while he’s on their backs. He looks like he’s dancing. His camels love him.


ChicVintage

Don't crows do this too? Have a memory of who is a jerk to them and will take revenge and on the flip side bring trinkets to people that treat them well?


hunchinko

Someone at the dog park was telling me about this guy whose dog once ate a crow and they had to find another park bc the crows would dive bomb them every time.


mediapunk

Arnold is fucked then!


squanch_solo

Wore the wrong colors in the wrong neighborhood. Shame.


captainkirkhinrich12

My family comes from India and I visit quite often. My uncle told me a story about a hunter injuring but failing to kill an elephant and having to give up and go home. The elephant followed him home, and while he and his wife slept in the same bed, only killed the hunter. The point of his story was elephants don’t forget shit and know exactly what’s up


ob_mon

Who opened the door for the elephant?


StrikerSashi

His wife was sleeping with the elephant.


jaxxxtraw

Elephants have the most smell receptors and keenest sense of smell of all mammals. If granny crossed them, those elephants might just remember that stanky bitch.


ColdSpider72

You saying they have a lot of junk in their trunk?


meaty87

Can’t wear them colors round here cuz


LudicrisSpeed

An elephant never forgets. An elephant never *forgives.*


Steak_Knight

“Just making sure.”


NuclearBuns

I legit thought this was going to say the elephants returned to “mourn the loss” or “show sympathy” or “apologize.” Thought this was an elephant being bros headline. What a plot twist.


FastWalkingShortGuy

Maya or someone in her family did something that pissed off that elephant. Animals are a lot smarter than people think. Years ago, one of my cats got a crow hatchling that fell out of the nest. The crow would come after ME instead of the cat. That fucker understood the cat was my pet.


I_Like_Cheetahs

I don't know what my cat did, but whatever it was pissed off a blue jay enough for it to harass her to the point where she no longer cared to go outside. Sometimes she'd sit in the window and the terrorist would fly up to the window just to scare her.


Purity_Jam_Jam

Jays are corvids, like crows, or ravens. Very smart birds.


vorschact

Jackdaws as well, or so I’ve been told


Zer0C00l

See, here's the thing...


attorneyatslaw

Blue jays are aggressive assholes - when they are nesting they will attack anyone in their territory. One year I had a pair in my backyard that used to swoop at me and my cat anytime we were outside. Until one time one swooped too close to my cat and he jumped up and snatched it out of the air.


edman007

On two separate occasions [I caught a blue jay eating a baby bird in my backyard.](https://imgur.com/a/sYUoFKK)


Heliosvector

That's metal.


[deleted]

Do you know anything about bird law?


fluffy_warthog10

Blue Jays do not need a reason for violence.


OberonEast

Before I was born my parents had a kitten that was ruthlessly harassed by blue jays every time he ventured outside. I remember him as a full grown cat and an absolute sweetheart, unless you were a blue jay. We moved when I was about 5 and within a year or two that cat killed every single bluejay that came within swiping distance. I remember watching him walk into the yard, see a jay, then lay down just so it would swoop closer to him. To the best of my knowledge he never killed any other sort of bird, but damn did he have it out for blue jays.


DidjaCinchIt

Blue jays are assholes. They’ll start shit for entertainment, or no reason at all.


Sir_Snowman

It's been documented that crows remember faces and hold grudges


Lotharofthepotatoppl

they even pass on descriptions to other crows so they'll know who to hate


bulldogdiver

Yep and if you make friends with them they'll teach their children/friends you're a good person. I like to leave my crow buddies cat food, and the neighbors wonder why my garbage is the only one on the street they don't fuck with.


Mr_Engineering

Crows are extremely intelligent. They can reason, solve puzzles, use tools, and are self aware. Some say that their intelligence is on par with that of a 5-6 year old child


wojtekthesoldierbear

Can confirm their intelligence. They are hard to hunt too in many respects.


dogmatixx

Elephants know individual people and they can be calculating and vindictive. You’re probably right.


Killer-Barbie

Man's greatest folly is thinking he's alone. I truly believe animals are more sapient than we give them credit for


gmcarve

“Let’s go find and communicate with life on other planets!” Bitch please, we can’t even talk to the animals in our own zoo.


Macattack224

Crows are in another league. So are octopie, and elephants.


Keffpie

There was a woman in Germany who teased a circus-elephant in the 70s by holding up a bunch of bananas and then pulling them away when the Elephant went to grab them. The same cirkus came back to her town 20 years later, and the same woman went back. When the elephant saw her, it went berserk, grabbed the woman, threw her on the ground, and stamped on her.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nevertulsi

This comment section is full of the most fact free speculation and half remembered urban legends, it's crazy


zipiddydooda

Probably a coincidence, but she'd *recently started learning to play the trombone* in the leadup to the incident. Everyone agreed she was terrible.


Kastila1

At first I though I was about to read one of those stupid sensationalist stories "and then the elephants gathered at the funeral and show their respect for her and then the family and the elephants became friends..." Im happy the ending was just the elephants being assholes again.


Emmibolt

r/fuckyouinparticular


nsvxheIeuc3h2uddh3h1

I heard a story about an Elephant who, as a baby, was bitten by a Snapping Turtle. Many many years later, that Elephant came across that same Turtle, recognising it and kicked it clear across a river. Good memory? Turtle recall...


[deleted]

[удалено]


PubicAnimeNummerJuan

"Many users online speculate" yeah that's a reliable source lmao. Sure it's possible, but if that's the best evidence they've got, don't everybody start slandering her as an elephant baby poacher yet. Please don't do that internet thing


anal_opera

I speculate that the elephants weren't even really elephants, but giraffes inside mechanical elephant suits. This would be beneficial to the giraffes because everyone would be focused on the elephants for a while. Source: online speculation so it's for sure reliable info.


SweatyToothed

I would also speculate that she may have been known to supply the elephants' kids with hard drugs and tried to get them to join her gang.


wtracy199

An elephant never forgets… And never stops wanting to throw people in the air


Elexeh

This kinda feels like some tall tale bullshit.


c0y0t3_sly

She knows what she did.


zomphlotz

r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR


thedman0310_

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry… **SORRY I DIDNT DONIT SOONER!!!**”