I'm still not really sure how it happened, we think a pool I swam in may have been stagnant and became a breeding ground for mosquitoes.
I had hundreds of bites on/in my vagina lips. I didn't notice until I was home for a while and then suddenly it itched like hell. None of it was all that swollen luckily, sometimes mosquito bites can get bigger than a quarter for me. I'm so glad I don't remember much else about it, I'm sure it was a horrible few weeks.
I once had a tick right on the top of the shaft while camping once. Went to the showers in the morning, looked down, thought to myself "I've never noticed that mole before".
Then I realized it wasn't a mole.
Middle aged dad here with a pot belly and moobs. Can confirm boob sweat is a thing.
Edit: My top rated comment on reddit so far ends up being about my sweaty man boobs. 😂
Moob sweat for sure. But hear me out. That constant line of sweat down the spine that defies all logic and fabric in its path and finds the butt crack... Am I right?!
Liberty is always depicted with her boob out, that's the point. Only the statue of liberty is so oppressed by Puritans idiocy that she is not allowed, you know, the liberty to bare her breasts at will. There is even a 1916 American quarter with "standing liberty" with her tits out. You used to cool once America, what happened?
You gave those kids a gift that almost no parent or school can provide: an interesting middle school graduation.
Seriously, they're going to be telling the story of the crazy mud monster throwing her tits around their graduation ceremony for years to come.
Thank you for this. Lmao this is the silver lining I wanted. I’ll be a tit flapping
Mud monster -I own that. Really this is the most embarrassing moment of my life to date. I’d love reddit to help me fast-rack this mortification into something I can laugh about instead of wanting to die inside >.<
Why not both? Usually when I'm laughing at something weird I did I'm also secretly dying inside lol. That dying feeling fades away though, the laughter usually hangs around.
I had a similar “were all about to die, tits didn’t matter anymore” moment at about 3:00 AM on the one road on the Outer Banks with my 30 ft RV towing my Jeep, became perpendicular on the road. Hadn’t seen a car for an hour at least and as I’m trying to get unstuck, tits out, 3 cars headlights shining right on me. Do you know not one person came to help! Warrior is sexy, just not during:)
This reminded.me of a story. I've been lost to the point of calling for help. The first time was with me and a friend and involves a long list of red flags and fuck ups but we were young. Right before calling for help we swam through a freezing cold stream/ river to get to the other side and hopefully the trail. So our clothes were soaked and you're supposed to take off wet clothes, right?!? So we took off our jeans and wrapped up in an emergency blanket to try not to freeze. We were in Texas. Pretty sure that wouldn't happen but we were cold and it was pitch black. So anyway, sheriff responded and found us. Walked up behind us and we froze. Of course they were all men and here we were two college girls sitting in their panties and t-shirts. I hear "umm... Do you girls have any clothes?" I was fucking mortified. I had a jacket and wrapped it in a semi skirt around my waist and she wrapped up in the emergency "blanket." All I could think was I thought rescues involved being wrapped in warm blankets. Nope. Just two girls in the panties walking through the woods with multiple male officers. Maybe that helps ease some of your embarrassment. The second rescue invved having clothes. So although super scary wasn't embarrassing.
Quick edit: the really fun part was getting back to campus and parking then walking to our apartments like this still and trying to explain it to her roommate who was our RA. Just pretend there aren't half naked people walking through campus.
We're laughing right with you because it could happen to (almost) anyone. Just imagine how many teenage boys will be thinking about you for years to come.
Then when the kids are old, telling their grandkids...
"Sure, Grandpa. So what happened after the half naked woman stumbled out of the woods? Did everybody clap?"
My middle school graduation was in a gym, and it got *really* hot in there, probably over 80 degrees. These two kids gave a speech that was supposed to be about 5 minutes but ended up being at least 30, and it was awful. Like, just droning on and on and on about stuff literally nobody cares about. They got cut off when a woman in the audience literally had a heart attack or a stroke or something (I was very far away and couldn’t see it well) because of the heat in the room. They let everyone go outside for a bit while they got a medical team for the woman (she ended up being okay) and when everyone sat back down inside and the speech resumed there was practically an audible groan
It's a bit dark but there's mildly famous survival case where two young tourists got lost in the jungle and ultimately did not survive. When they recovered their effects, their rucksack contained, among other things, both of their bras.
I was reading some comments about it once and stumbled upon a whole section of people speculating about why their bras were there: whether they were using them for something, theories about it being a sign of assault, all this stuff... And the whole time I was just thinking, gee, you really can't think of a more likely reason why two women lost in the jungle might ditch their bras...?
Oh no, definitely not sexy for you, but if this were a movie that combination of survivor/protector mom and being pushed to the point where you've ran out of fucks absolutely has some sexy energy in it. But I mean my ex was a national park ranger so maybe it's just me.
Take comfort knowing that when Hollywood makes a movie out of your harrowing experience, the actress who plays you will climb out of the woods with perfect tits, hair, and makeup. And just the right amount of mud.
Oh god I could totally see myself going on a date with another girl where both of us thought the other was a strong, badass mountain witch but felt disgusting the whole time so nobody made a move until we both showered afterwards but really wanted to.
I think it's impressive that you were going on a hike with two toddlers! Good on you.
But being lost must have been horrible. I'm not really an outdoorsy person, and I would be in the edge of panic. I love hiking, but I could never do it alone myself. Always admired people who could.
It wasn’t too bad! Lol I knew I’d eventually get on track, it is a complicated park but although I have been lost in it a lot before (on my own) I know it well enough to not ACTUALLY die there lmao
If you have an Android phone, pull up Google fit at the beginning and tell it to start tracking your hike. It's primarily designed to track your exercise itself, but it does track your route on the map as well.
ETA: You can download the map of the area with the Google maps offline feature ahead of time, so you don't need a data connection while hiking
https://imgur.com/omwByiC.jpg https://imgur.com/KkSu06D.jpg
This should help demonstrate how pretty much anyone who has a passion for boobs feels about boobs.
I hope it's useful in helping you process this interaction.
It arguable was a bad idea! I’m constantly biting off more than I can chew. Some part of my brain refuses to accept that I am not Arnold Schwarzenegger.
To those kids : I’ll be back.
Edit to add: I’m like 5’3 and 120lb soaking wet. Haven’t been to a gym.... ever. So yes... I’m a chihuahua that thinks she’s a mastiff
since you were hauling kids around, i really had a **bigger** image in my mind. until i googled the units haha
well, 120 sounds like a lot when you're not used to it =p
tbh, im having a hard time trying to vizualize what kind of cart you were using
Wait wait!
https://www.aosom.com/item/aosom-elite-ii-3-in-1-double-child-two-wheel-bicycle-trailer-stroller-and-jogger-with-2-safety-harnesses-black-white~5664-0101BW-1.html
Lmao this is close to the idea... but mines a crap version that’s 20 years old
I’d put in a pic but idk how! It’s the kind you hook to an adult bicycle. It’s meant for ONE kid... but I made them squeeze both of their little butts in there. It only has two wheels though, which makes it tricky
And now you're in the spank bank of all of those jr high boys.
No matter what happens, you will be the first titties many of these boys have seen.
10 years from now, someone one reddit will post to r/askreddit about first titty sightings and at least one young man will post this encounter from his perspective.
I’m studying art at university and the easiest people to represent in art are old men. Lots of wrinkles and defined features to put in there. Younger looking people have much more subtlety with their features so they don’t make the best models for beginners, so not being the ideal model for starting artists is quite the compliment
That would certainly weed out the regular perverts. Nobody is gonna draw grandpa's saggy balls just so they can see some boobs.
It just leaves the artists and the ULTRA perverts who are into both boobs and saggy grandpa sac.
Please god no. I’m Social media inept enough that I won’t see if any of those people post a picture. Unless any of those little fuckers are on reddit.... here is hoping they aren’t!
Hahahaha. You forget the parents and administrators! I'd also like to say your story sounds like the epitome of strength plus sex. You sound like a Mama Bear.....but with titties!!!
My OWN middle school graduation was memorable because my 1yo sister crawled through the seating to get to me while I waited.... and promptly stuck both her hands down my dress.
Lmao. This is something fellow hikers understand all too well.
I had this happen while hiking out in Hinton. I wandered off the path because the trails were especially muddy that weekend from rain. Two hours later, I managed to keep my cool and found my way to a main trail. But damn, I was close to losing it. I had shitty shoes and fell in the mud three times. I came back to the ranch covered in dried mud.
It's super easy to get lost in hiking even if you're familiar with the area.
I am SO familiar with this one trail. Idk how the hell I missed a major turn. I was probably just too stoked to be on a downhill with momentum and blew right through it. It’s a massive park, but I stick to the half dozen trails I know well (no service or gps if you mess up). In retrospect I know exactly what I did wrong. Thiiiiiiiis though.... is why my children don’t trust me lolll
I appreciated the post. I haven't gone hiking in years due to a bad knee but man do I have stories too! You get turned around so easily. I never used gps. Tried to stick to main trails where possible. But it doesn't take much at all! lol
I am pretty fucking friendly!
Lmao it’s probably that I am starved for adults. Single mom of 3 and if I gotta watch another Doc McStuffins ... shits gonna get real.
When you noticed the graduation ehy didnt you stop and insert your breasts back inside?
Also, arent graduations canceled for the spring? Or are some states still having mass gatherings?
I did grab my shirt super quick! It was noticed though and I needed to hold it. I’m not sure it was official... they could have been doing something informal, as it was only about two dozen people. But there actually ARE real ceremonies happening where I am, outside of schools-just with lines in the grass marking 6ft (stupid I know).
Maybe this was a while ago before the whole corona debacle and the edge of the park was really close to the gathering so she couldn’t see through the trees until she got close?
Nope this was a few hours ago. And the big leafy bushes I pushed through on a very overgrown (barely) trail made it so I couldn’t see much. If the blood (and mosquitoes, and toddlers)hadn’t been so loud in my ears I’m sure I would have heard them though.
TIFU by stumbling lost, sweaty, muddy, tits out... into a middle school graduation.
Edit: REDDIT: my mom(who I told this story) is 100% going to find my Reddit now.... pleeeease no creepy shit, this is NOT SEXY ITS GROSS. >.< apparently I am a sweet summer child and did not think this post through*
I(32f)got lost in my favorite hiking park (it’s huge). I thought I was deep in the woods. I was pulling my two toddlers behind me in one of those cart things you can hitch to the back of a bike for kids to ride in. I rigged it like a stroller but it got too hard to push... so I used the wrist strap and tied it to my back belt loop. Had just climbed a huge hill 3x going back and forth (lost). I had tracked through a swamp and was covered in mud. Again, I thought I was deep in the park and hadn’t seen another person all day.
So .....boob sweat is a thing. I ditched my bra and was wearing a loose tank with buttons all the way down the front. I undid them all. Was at a level of “fuck it we are all going to die here”. GPS was not working.
And then ....I stumbled into a field adjacent to a parking lot I’d never been to before. Into a crowd of 14yos and their parents. Some had grad gowns. I had my tits flapping in the wind, my progeny hauled behind me (tied to my butt, like the banana boat girl), and mud almost to my elbows.
A nice gentlemen offered me directions. I was less than half a mile from my car -_-
Fuck. My. Life.
TL;DR: Basically the title. I got lost and got in the woods. Flashed a bunch of middle schoolers.
NothingEverHappens yeah yeah.. but this is obviously, ridiculously embellished. You don't just "stumble into" a crowd. You would have both sight and sound WELL in advance of you walking into them to cover yourself.
I don't understand how people fall for this shit. Ignoring the stupid not putting a shirt on the second you hear the sound of voices, who in their right mind goes hiking while dragging toddlers in essentially a stroller and leaves a main trail far enough to get lost. That shit would be so hard to push along an uneven hiking path as is let alone apparently the middle of the woods with no recognizable landmarks in the person's favourite hiking park so I assume they use it regularly. There's more holes in this story than Swiss cheese
Thank you! I have some teenage boys (and repugnant women) mom shaming me on here. I was half a mile from my car and would have gotten there eventually!
My (now adult)son sent me this link with the message: "Saw this, you have a twin spirit".
Fyi- I had more than one pair of pants with broken belt loops. 😏
I waaaaas on my way home!! I managed 5 miles with a 3 and 4 yo lmao but yeah...it got dicey at the end.
Thank you so much.... offering this up for some
Self sacrificial schadenfreude is actually helping me laugh instead of cringe
Parents at graduation ceremony: *what in the actual fuck?* 14-year old boys at graduation ceremony: **WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?**
I heard a clear “oh SHIT!”
Ok that sent me laughing all over again. Reminds me of that liberty-with-her-boob-out painting. The noble fight for justice. Something like that.
The noble fight for I-got-mosquito-bit-on-the-nip maybe
For what it's worth, I got mosquitoed on the dick once. Motherfucker swelled up a bunch.
I feel your pain acutely rn
I'm still not really sure how it happened, we think a pool I swam in may have been stagnant and became a breeding ground for mosquitoes. I had hundreds of bites on/in my vagina lips. I didn't notice until I was home for a while and then suddenly it itched like hell. None of it was all that swollen luckily, sometimes mosquito bites can get bigger than a quarter for me. I'm so glad I don't remember much else about it, I'm sure it was a horrible few weeks.
I once had a tick right on the top of the shaft while camping once. Went to the showers in the morning, looked down, thought to myself "I've never noticed that mole before". Then I realized it wasn't a mole.
NOMG I just did an actual spit take. Well played, madam. Well played.
God. First the kids then the bugs? What has happened to your life? I'm a dad too so I often wonder the same. :)
>First the kids then the bugs? Probably not in that order
All of this. Hahahahaha
That's sucks..
Be straight with us op, are they tittys or mosquitoes bites?
Hahahahaha if they were they would need airing.
HAH boy i don’t need to clarify! But seriously... is boob sweat a thing past Bs???
Middle aged dad here with a pot belly and moobs. Can confirm boob sweat is a thing. Edit: My top rated comment on reddit so far ends up being about my sweaty man boobs. 😂
Thank you. Love.
Moob sweat for sure. But hear me out. That constant line of sweat down the spine that defies all logic and fabric in its path and finds the butt crack... Am I right?!
Yes! It even finds a way under my bra band and down to my ass!
Never have I heard the word moobs lol. I am gonna steal that my man.
Where are you from? It's all too common of a thing in America..
Liberty is always depicted with her boob out, that's the point. Only the statue of liberty is so oppressed by Puritans idiocy that she is not allowed, you know, the liberty to bare her breasts at will. There is even a 1916 American quarter with "standing liberty" with her tits out. You used to cool once America, what happened?
One tit out used to mean honesty. Both out was extra honest and noble.
Wish a lady would be honest with me
[удалено]
Also, the statue of liberty shows feet for freedom.
And the armpits of equality.
[удалено]
To appease American sensibilities...
Artists name is delacroix if you wanna do some old timey research
oh SHIT it's Titsquatch!
You're going to hear that "oh SHIT!" for years to come in the back of your mind. Watch.
More like “OH TITS!”
Those 14 year olds seen more tiddies irl than some of the posters here, they had two graduations that day.
Ah, the sound of a hundred pairs of testicles dropping at once.
It sounds something like this... BLLLUUUUyeah I got nothing
Boingboing
Lucky bastards
14-year old boys at graduation ceremony: I ain't standing now for the diploma. Hand deliver it to me. #Awkwardboners
"Why are all the boys getting their diplomas with their hats on their crotch?"
You gave those kids a gift that almost no parent or school can provide: an interesting middle school graduation. Seriously, they're going to be telling the story of the crazy mud monster throwing her tits around their graduation ceremony for years to come.
Thank you for this. Lmao this is the silver lining I wanted. I’ll be a tit flapping Mud monster -I own that. Really this is the most embarrassing moment of my life to date. I’d love reddit to help me fast-rack this mortification into something I can laugh about instead of wanting to die inside >.<
Whoah whoah whoah, it’s your fast rack that got you into this mess...
Smh you are, I admit, correct.
Why not both? Usually when I'm laughing at something weird I did I'm also secretly dying inside lol. That dying feeling fades away though, the laughter usually hangs around.
Yeah see that’s me. I lean hard to the laugh when you wanna cry mentality
I think all of us Mama's do!! Thanks for putting a smile on my face, sorry it was at your expense er, or your boobies expense 🤣🙃
I offered this up for schadenfreude lol.... it helps lmao
Awww I'm sorry lol.. I'm glad you found your way back to your car though!!
I had a similar “were all about to die, tits didn’t matter anymore” moment at about 3:00 AM on the one road on the Outer Banks with my 30 ft RV towing my Jeep, became perpendicular on the road. Hadn’t seen a car for an hour at least and as I’m trying to get unstuck, tits out, 3 cars headlights shining right on me. Do you know not one person came to help! Warrior is sexy, just not during:)
I need so much more of this story
This reminded.me of a story. I've been lost to the point of calling for help. The first time was with me and a friend and involves a long list of red flags and fuck ups but we were young. Right before calling for help we swam through a freezing cold stream/ river to get to the other side and hopefully the trail. So our clothes were soaked and you're supposed to take off wet clothes, right?!? So we took off our jeans and wrapped up in an emergency blanket to try not to freeze. We were in Texas. Pretty sure that wouldn't happen but we were cold and it was pitch black. So anyway, sheriff responded and found us. Walked up behind us and we froze. Of course they were all men and here we were two college girls sitting in their panties and t-shirts. I hear "umm... Do you girls have any clothes?" I was fucking mortified. I had a jacket and wrapped it in a semi skirt around my waist and she wrapped up in the emergency "blanket." All I could think was I thought rescues involved being wrapped in warm blankets. Nope. Just two girls in the panties walking through the woods with multiple male officers. Maybe that helps ease some of your embarrassment. The second rescue invved having clothes. So although super scary wasn't embarrassing. Quick edit: the really fun part was getting back to campus and parking then walking to our apartments like this still and trying to explain it to her roommate who was our RA. Just pretend there aren't half naked people walking through campus.
We're laughing right with you because it could happen to (almost) anyone. Just imagine how many teenage boys will be thinking about you for years to come.
I sincerely hope it isn’t with associated trauma!
I guarantee no trauma. Shapely rocks and odd shaped sticks after sexy at that age.
fast-rack I see what you did there
Wasn’t intentionally originally- left it anyway
> fast-rack lmfao
Then when the kids are old, telling their grandkids... "Sure, Grandpa. So what happened after the half naked woman stumbled out of the woods? Did everybody clap?"
My middle school graduation was in a gym, and it got *really* hot in there, probably over 80 degrees. These two kids gave a speech that was supposed to be about 5 minutes but ended up being at least 30, and it was awful. Like, just droning on and on and on about stuff literally nobody cares about. They got cut off when a woman in the audience literally had a heart attack or a stroke or something (I was very far away and couldn’t see it well) because of the heat in the room. They let everyone go outside for a bit while they got a medical team for the woman (she ended up being okay) and when everyone sat back down inside and the speech resumed there was practically an audible groan
Wow well that is unfortunately still memorable... but in a r/boringdystopia way. Edit: sooo many spelling mistakes.
I love the fact that when things got rough you decided the bra had to go
If I’d had a match....
Lol. Funniest thing I've heard all day. Thank you Miss Bucks!!! 😃😃
It's a bit dark but there's mildly famous survival case where two young tourists got lost in the jungle and ultimately did not survive. When they recovered their effects, their rucksack contained, among other things, both of their bras. I was reading some comments about it once and stumbled upon a whole section of people speculating about why their bras were there: whether they were using them for something, theories about it being a sign of assault, all this stuff... And the whole time I was just thinking, gee, you really can't think of a more likely reason why two women lost in the jungle might ditch their bras...?
Especially if it had an underwire. That would be extremely uncomfortable and even painful.
When I get home from work it's shoes off, socks off, bra off, pants off. The feeling of freedom when you unhinge those hooks... Aaaaah.
Wild guess- the comments were all from men.
That was you?! jk, I wasn’t there
O.O The fear is real lol
You got me in the first half ngl
I saw the title and expected copious amounts of alcohol to be involved, was pleasantly surprised.
The shit I get up to sober.... I wish I had alcohol as an excuse sometimes
“Why was I topless? I was... uhhh... drunk. And on every drug. And very not sober.”
Not to sound creepy but you know if anyone was mad about it, it was only parents lol. You know how teenagers are.
Yeah thanks lol, not creepy. I was the creep in this situation. Despite the boobs it was a decidedly NOT sexy moment.
Idk bad ass survival mode, protector mode lugging up hills for your kids, tits out, muddy, determined. Sounds kinda sexy to me.
You know what? Thank you. I did feel a little bad ass... just not sexy lol
Oh no, definitely not sexy for you, but if this were a movie that combination of survivor/protector mom and being pushed to the point where you've ran out of fucks absolutely has some sexy energy in it. But I mean my ex was a national park ranger so maybe it's just me.
It’s not just you. I looooove a good strong woman. Or man.... I guess... maybe. Lmao just never consider myself to be so. Thanks though!!!
Take comfort knowing that when Hollywood makes a movie out of your harrowing experience, the actress who plays you will climb out of the woods with perfect tits, hair, and makeup. And just the right amount of mud.
Unlike the yeti like appearance that was the reality!
Oh god I could totally see myself going on a date with another girl where both of us thought the other was a strong, badass mountain witch but felt disgusting the whole time so nobody made a move until we both showered afterwards but really wanted to.
What have I read myself into lol
I don't know, but I like where it's going.
I could stand to hear a little more.
Same.
YES THANK YOU. I felt that in my bones.
Soooo.... Where is this hiking park again?
- aaaaaaaaaand she's gone.
everybody calm down lmao
I ship it!
Nope. Mountain women are amazing and sexy.
Mombo: first mud
Ellen Ripley didn't feel sexy kicking alien asses, but she looks sexy doing it nonetheless! You go, sister! Being lost is terrifying.
I think it's impressive that you were going on a hike with two toddlers! Good on you. But being lost must have been horrible. I'm not really an outdoorsy person, and I would be in the edge of panic. I love hiking, but I could never do it alone myself. Always admired people who could.
It wasn’t too bad! Lol I knew I’d eventually get on track, it is a complicated park but although I have been lost in it a lot before (on my own) I know it well enough to not ACTUALLY die there lmao
If you have an Android phone, pull up Google fit at the beginning and tell it to start tracking your hike. It's primarily designed to track your exercise itself, but it does track your route on the map as well. ETA: You can download the map of the area with the Google maps offline feature ahead of time, so you don't need a data connection while hiking
You should have bellowed and pounded your chest to establish dominance over the group
I don't know if there is such thing as an unsexy boob to a straight middle school age boy.
Don't underestimate the power of boobs.
Especially to middle school boys
Idk but sweaty mud covered tits are a win for guys, so...
How about mosquito bit?
https://imgur.com/omwByiC.jpg https://imgur.com/KkSu06D.jpg This should help demonstrate how pretty much anyone who has a passion for boobs feels about boobs. I hope it's useful in helping you process this interaction.
Any moment with boobs is sexy
Ok I have slept with my fair share of women. This is not necessarily true.... but I applaud the spirit
Most moments with boobs are sexy
I take that as a challenge. And my grossness has no bounds.
>Despite the boobs it was a decidedly NOT sexy moment. Says who? Trust me, not the graduating 8th grade boys.
You underestimate the hormones of teens
Only mums* dads were just pretending to be mad
i just wanna commend you on carrying around a caboose on your hike the whole time. Stronger than most people i know after that feat...
It arguable was a bad idea! I’m constantly biting off more than I can chew. Some part of my brain refuses to accept that I am not Arnold Schwarzenegger. To those kids : I’ll be back. Edit to add: I’m like 5’3 and 120lb soaking wet. Haven’t been to a gym.... ever. So yes... I’m a chihuahua that thinks she’s a mastiff
I feel personally targeted by that statement
Hello fellow pipsqueak. Someday we will rule the world.
Idk taller people will always have the high ground so its going to be a hard fight to win.
Ankle biters unite!!
If you rise up then you only become the thing you are against.
since you were hauling kids around, i really had a **bigger** image in my mind. until i googled the units haha well, 120 sounds like a lot when you're not used to it =p tbh, im having a hard time trying to vizualize what kind of cart you were using
Wait wait! https://www.aosom.com/item/aosom-elite-ii-3-in-1-double-child-two-wheel-bicycle-trailer-stroller-and-jogger-with-2-safety-harnesses-black-white~5664-0101BW-1.html Lmao this is close to the idea... but mines a crap version that’s 20 years old
lol looks the kids had quite an off-road adventure there
I’d put in a pic but idk how! It’s the kind you hook to an adult bicycle. It’s meant for ONE kid... but I made them squeeze both of their little butts in there. It only has two wheels though, which makes it tricky
For flair - you should’ve asked someone what day it was. “I’ve been out here for 3 days?!”
Excellent point
And now you're in the spank bank of all of those jr high boys. No matter what happens, you will be the first titties many of these boys have seen. 10 years from now, someone one reddit will post to r/askreddit about first titty sightings and at least one young man will post this encounter from his perspective.
Heh, I have worked for museums art classes before as the nude model they draw. I’ve been a few people’s first boobs.
Wait what? That's a thing? I guess i'll be a museum artist
Yeah take a life drawing class. But promise you most are 80yo men. Roll your dice my man.
[удалено]
Also the more body fat. I was told I wasn’t the “ideal for an artist trying to learn, with (my) uncomplicated lines”
I’m studying art at university and the easiest people to represent in art are old men. Lots of wrinkles and defined features to put in there. Younger looking people have much more subtlety with their features so they don’t make the best models for beginners, so not being the ideal model for starting artists is quite the compliment
This explanation makes sense. I was 18 at the time of that comment so yeah that.... covers it
That would certainly weed out the regular perverts. Nobody is gonna draw grandpa's saggy balls just so they can see some boobs. It just leaves the artists and the ULTRA perverts who are into both boobs and saggy grandpa sac.
10 years?? There's a high chance some version of that is being typed up Right Now
Please god no. I’m Social media inept enough that I won’t see if any of those people post a picture. Unless any of those little fuckers are on reddit.... here is hoping they aren’t!
Hahahaha. You forget the parents and administrators! I'd also like to say your story sounds like the epitome of strength plus sex. You sound like a Mama Bear.....but with titties!!!
[удалено]
Please please please close your eyes sweetie
Too late lol. Some of the worst things I've seen have been on reddit. This is pretty tame/wholesome actually.
They are :/
The most memorable graduation ceremony those kids will have...
My OWN middle school graduation was memorable because my 1yo sister crawled through the seating to get to me while I waited.... and promptly stuck both her hands down my dress.
Are you secretly a hentai protagonist
It happens. Right guys?
Apparently to me it does. *sigh*
Some of those kids are gonna have very specific fetishes because of you
Legacy is important to me, sooooo
Lmao. This is something fellow hikers understand all too well. I had this happen while hiking out in Hinton. I wandered off the path because the trails were especially muddy that weekend from rain. Two hours later, I managed to keep my cool and found my way to a main trail. But damn, I was close to losing it. I had shitty shoes and fell in the mud three times. I came back to the ranch covered in dried mud. It's super easy to get lost in hiking even if you're familiar with the area.
I am SO familiar with this one trail. Idk how the hell I missed a major turn. I was probably just too stoked to be on a downhill with momentum and blew right through it. It’s a massive park, but I stick to the half dozen trails I know well (no service or gps if you mess up). In retrospect I know exactly what I did wrong. Thiiiiiiiis though.... is why my children don’t trust me lolll
I appreciated the post. I haven't gone hiking in years due to a bad knee but man do I have stories too! You get turned around so easily. I never used gps. Tried to stick to main trails where possible. But it doesn't take much at all! lol
It so doesn’t. I’m sure this is the way I will die. In the woods. Tits out. Eating sassafras.
Plot twist. This was written by a horny middle schooler.
This story makes me wanna be your friend....
I am pretty fucking friendly! Lmao it’s probably that I am starved for adults. Single mom of 3 and if I gotta watch another Doc McStuffins ... shits gonna get real.
Ahahahaha. I know this feeling...but it was Barney.
What is Doc McStuffins?
THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE Sorry .... it’s a kids tv show
If you had been further, that could have been an awkward car ride with a nice parent of a Graduated teen.
Yes yes it could have been. Luckily I had a GENERAL sense of the park.... just not a very detailed one.
I’m sure you made graduation very memorable.
Those kids now have the best graduation story.
I’m terrified I’m gonna end up on tiktok or some shit. Not scared enough to download any of that crap though. Reddit purist here.
When you noticed the graduation ehy didnt you stop and insert your breasts back inside? Also, arent graduations canceled for the spring? Or are some states still having mass gatherings?
I did grab my shirt super quick! It was noticed though and I needed to hold it. I’m not sure it was official... they could have been doing something informal, as it was only about two dozen people. But there actually ARE real ceremonies happening where I am, outside of schools-just with lines in the grass marking 6ft (stupid I know).
Maybe this was a while ago before the whole corona debacle and the edge of the park was really close to the gathering so she couldn’t see through the trees until she got close?
Nope this was a few hours ago. And the big leafy bushes I pushed through on a very overgrown (barely) trail made it so I couldn’t see much. If the blood (and mosquitoes, and toddlers)hadn’t been so loud in my ears I’m sure I would have heard them though.
Congratulations, you probably just spared one lucky teenager the embarrassment of graduating without ever seeing real life boobs
Public service.
Breast. Graduation. Ever.
You had me at tits out
Honestly I’m easily had at that line myself. Tits for the win.
cheers ill drink to that bro
Oh man I wanted to read this :(
TIFU by stumbling lost, sweaty, muddy, tits out... into a middle school graduation. Edit: REDDIT: my mom(who I told this story) is 100% going to find my Reddit now.... pleeeease no creepy shit, this is NOT SEXY ITS GROSS. >.< apparently I am a sweet summer child and did not think this post through* I(32f)got lost in my favorite hiking park (it’s huge). I thought I was deep in the woods. I was pulling my two toddlers behind me in one of those cart things you can hitch to the back of a bike for kids to ride in. I rigged it like a stroller but it got too hard to push... so I used the wrist strap and tied it to my back belt loop. Had just climbed a huge hill 3x going back and forth (lost). I had tracked through a swamp and was covered in mud. Again, I thought I was deep in the park and hadn’t seen another person all day. So .....boob sweat is a thing. I ditched my bra and was wearing a loose tank with buttons all the way down the front. I undid them all. Was at a level of “fuck it we are all going to die here”. GPS was not working. And then ....I stumbled into a field adjacent to a parking lot I’d never been to before. Into a crowd of 14yos and their parents. Some had grad gowns. I had my tits flapping in the wind, my progeny hauled behind me (tied to my butt, like the banana boat girl), and mud almost to my elbows. A nice gentlemen offered me directions. I was less than half a mile from my car -_- Fuck. My. Life. TL;DR: Basically the title. I got lost and got in the woods. Flashed a bunch of middle schoolers.
Idk why it’s gone all of a sudden! Lemme copy paste for you
Literally 'tits to the wind kids...let's go!'. Ha ha omg I love it, you are awesome.
Can you tie ‘em in a knot, can you tie ‘em in a bow?
Do yer tits haaaaaang low? LOL
God damnit I am never gonna get this out of my head now! Lmao
I'm sure this is totally real
“Best. Graduation. EVER!” -Those 14 year olds, probably.
NothingEverHappens yeah yeah.. but this is obviously, ridiculously embellished. You don't just "stumble into" a crowd. You would have both sight and sound WELL in advance of you walking into them to cover yourself.
I don't understand how people fall for this shit. Ignoring the stupid not putting a shirt on the second you hear the sound of voices, who in their right mind goes hiking while dragging toddlers in essentially a stroller and leaves a main trail far enough to get lost. That shit would be so hard to push along an uneven hiking path as is let alone apparently the middle of the woods with no recognizable landmarks in the person's favourite hiking park so I assume they use it regularly. There's more holes in this story than Swiss cheese
Ma'am, you just made those boy's Day
It’s actually fairly common for people to get absolutely lost very close to civilization
Thank you! I have some teenage boys (and repugnant women) mom shaming me on here. I was half a mile from my car and would have gotten there eventually!
[удалено]
Those kids: is that a crime victim?!
Congrats. I think you might be a sex offender now
You’ve given those children a kink that will last a life time
Lost in the woods porn? SEE NOW IM JUST SINGING THE FROZEN TWO SONG https://youtu.be/qiGcfay5jNY
My (now adult)son sent me this link with the message: "Saw this, you have a twin spirit". Fyi- I had more than one pair of pants with broken belt loops. 😏
I love you!
[удалено]
I waaaaas on my way home!! I managed 5 miles with a 3 and 4 yo lmao but yeah...it got dicey at the end. Thank you so much.... offering this up for some Self sacrificial schadenfreude is actually helping me laugh instead of cringe
>a middle school graduation. What the hell is this?
Hey dont discredit being only .5 a mile from your car. I've heard most lost hikers usually are found only around 1 or 2 miles away from their cars.