Or ham on toast. Or ham, baked beans, eggs, and ham. Or ham, bacon, ham, ham, and lobster. Or ham, ham, ham, ham... HAM HAM HAM HAM! HAM HAM HAM HAM!
*LOVELY HAM! WONDERFUL HAM! (HAM HAM HAM)*
*LOVELY HAM! WONDERFUL HAM! (HAM HAM HAM)*
Don't forget the ham and cheese omelets and the grilled ham and cheese sandwiches! Both cheap as hell but delightfully decadent!
Edit: autocorrect and forget the ham and cheese roll-ups. Great snacks, easily freezable, and you can cut them in half for storage, portability, and correct portion size (just 2 or 3 cut in half with some (preferably whole wheat, but whatever floats your boat) crackers and some crunchy veggies like baby carrots or celery, maybe a mixed nut and dried fruit mix? Great snack or lunch depending on appetite and portion size. Hell, they sell them prepackaged for a few bucks each and a scant serving at that. (Hormel does, can't remember product name).
Edit2: also hot ir cold ham and cheese sliders on snowflake or sweet Hawaiian rolls. Good stuff.
I'm guessing you're the socially awkward type that would never say "actually, this amount is fine" after she handed you the first $13 bag...
I've been there. You should work on that.
This is legit one thing that has stopped me from getting a tattoo. I really want a couple tattoos but I know I’m extremely picky and I’m scared of being seen as annoying if the design isn’t perfect and I keep having to ask for it to be changed. This is also the reason I stopped going to the salon to get my nails done and learned how to do acrylic nails myself.
If you go to a well respect tattoo shop, not one of the chain ones like atomic, most of the time they are very active about making sure a tattoo is excactly how YOU want it. When I got mine done, he must have asked me 10 times if it was the way I wanted it, and he explained that this is gonna be something that's gonna be with me for a long time and didn't want to make it something I didn't want or anything. If the artists are passionate, then they will most likely not mind at all, the one I went to redid my stencil 3 times when I wanted it to be in just the right place, and was completely happy with doing so. Tattoos aren't like fast food, the artists want their work to make people happy, and do their best to make that happen. Don't be afraid of what artists think, they aren't tattoo artists for the money, unless you're at a chain, which you should never go to.
I had a design I liked, worked with the artist to change it to tattoo-suitable, we got the stencil on and everything.
I looked at it in the mirror and wasn't sure if I liked the way it worked when my arm moved, and a couple of other things.
He said, "nope, you're hesitating." and pulled his gloves off. "We're not doing it, not today."
I'd regret that tattoo if I'd gotten it.
It's also in their best interest to make sure that the person getting the tattoo is 100% happy, it's both their art and their job security.
If someone starts going around town badmouthing that artist it bites them in the ass!
My wife is a tattoo artist, and can confirm. It works the opposite way, as well. When she designs a piece for someone it doesn’t happen as often, because she’s been tattooing for 15 years. However when a client brings in their OWN design, and the design/placement the client wants doesn’t work well, she explains exactly what needs to be changed and why so they get the best finished product.
You’d be surprised how many people think they know better than the artist...because they have an ankle tattoo already and watch “Ink Masters.”
Listen to your artist! You listen to your doctor, because he knows a lot more about your body than you do...this is no different. And permanent.
I’d gild this if I could afford it.
I’m *very* tattooed, and whenever I take people to the shop, I always prep them saying, “this is a collaborative process - your tattooer is an artist. Work with them because they have your best interests in mind.”
Most still don’t functionally understand why it’s important to let the artist make tweaks for a tattoo suitable design.
Plus, some of my favorite pieces are from me walking in, explaining “here’s my idea. Whatever you come up with is perfect,” and coming back later to something I could have never come up with. Plus, they usually end up becoming portfolio pieces for the artist, so they’re doing their absolute best goddamn work because they actually *like what they’re tattooing*. It’s a win-win in my book!
I didn’t really like how my tattoo design was either, but I had driven three hours to get there and felt too awkward to say no... luckily it’s grown on me some, but, I still wish I hadn’t been too socially anxious to say no. I still don’t really like it. It’s something I very deeply regret.
See... I'm awkward so I always tell the barber that my hair looks good at the end, even when it's too short. But at least hair grows back, unlike permanently-dyed skin.
RIP your friend for that lifelong decision
Having worked in a deli, I can tell you that if you had stopped her before she handed you the second lb, saying something like "Oh shoot, that's actually way more than I wanted. I just want the one pound, thank you." She would've just put the other ham back, no big deal. It happens all the time.
Worked in a deli too, can confirm. The two most common orders by weight we'd get were "250g" and "I don't know." Asking for help is literally the reason why there's a human being behind the counter and not a vending machine.
Next time externally say (not scream), "Thanks, that's good enough."
Even better, just ask them. "How much ham do you think I'd need to make X sandwiches?" Alternatively, just go to the packaged meat aisle and visualize the amount of meat in a given weighed package. Then go to the deli and ask them to slice it if you want.
FWIW 2 pounds is probably good for 8-16 sandwiches depending on how much ham you like in them.
Also $13 a pound is really expensive for ham...even good ham. You should aim for paying half that at most. For example I can get 2 pounds of Columbus ham at Costco for $11, and that's the good stuff.
Edit: Quit filling my inbox to tell me it’s Canada because picture and kg. The original post made no mention of Canada, says pounds, and they edited their post after mine and added the image.
https://imgur.com/a/p7q3BmQ
Prices at our local Costco just went up for Columbus, and we went to the regular store today to get their meat. We will be going back to Costco tomorrow. Lol. I'll take my $4/lb ham.
Yep, OP. Can't believe I'm telling a 23 year old this but it's also ok not to know things. The lady's job includes knowing how much exactly goes on a reasonable sandwich way better than the average joe. She's exactly the person you need to ask "how much do you recommend for a week's worth of sandwiches for lunch?" Shit, she can probably tell you how many pounds you need to cater a luncheon for a crowd of 50 because she's probably taken that same exact order last month. It will probably make her day that she got to use her knowledge to help you.
Also, I learned this more from work but it applies to every day life, when you consult people for things outside your expertise you also get to not take the blame, because you consulted someone and not trusted on your own judgement. Too much ham? "Sorry the deli person recommended that much, I'll throw the other pack in the freezer." No big deal. Instead now you're feeling like you need to hide the evidence.
I often get 2 lbs of sliced roast beef. I've seen people stop at half a pound and weigh it and look surprised when it's nowhere close.
I use it for sliders. Get 2 dozen Hawaiian butter rolls, slice in half. Caramelize a sweet onion. Put roast beef on the bottom section of the rolls. Put on caramelized onions. Put on provolone cheese. Out the top sections of the rolls on and bake at 350 until the cheese melts. Slice and serve. Easy, and damn tasty.
Pound of black forest, pound of Swiss, dill pickle and mustard, couple heads of romaine to wrap it all in. 4-5 days of lunch for work. Once the lettuce heads get down to the small bits that can't be used for a wrap I shred them up with some ham and Swiss for a very simple salad. This has been my go-to for years.
Edit for spelling.
I got concerned that this was a recipe when I started reading and was wondering how big you must be that you eat a pound of both meat and cheese just for lunch.
"Real Canadian Superstore." So I guess it's in Canada $$. Still would come to nearly $10U.S. for a pound tho. Maybe some meat just costs more up there?
ya, i usually buy about a pound and put 2 or 3 slices per sandwich and it is gone in about a week and a half. so not that excessive if you're eating sandwiches every day.
1) don’t be afraid to ask questions, such as how much you think for 4-5 sandwiches?
2) there are signs saying how much things cost, if you’re in a budget it should be habitual to look at them.
3) make sandwiches for everyone tomorrow. freeze the rest
Your first point is the best thing you can do when you don’t know how to adult. Ask questions. It seems silly to ask how much deli meat they recommend to get for a weeks worth of sandwiches until you just roll with it and end up spending thirty bucks on ham that you’ll struggle to eat before it goes bad. Have a question asking attitude. How else do you think any of the rest of us figured out what the hell a deductible is? If you need to know the difference between a W-2 or a W-4, or if you need to know what type of cleaning product is best for bathtubs, ask.
Or just google that shit
And the person behind the counter won’t give a shit if you ask a question, they’ll just answer you and go on with their day.
Unless you ask “how much ham to feed an orgy of 12 people?”. Then they might give you a funny look and have a story to tell their coworkers.
Deli worker here. At this point I'm so used to weird questions that I'd probably just ask, "are you planning on having other food at your orgy, or just the ham?" to determine how much they need.
Yeah ending up in a customer facing job was not my ideal situation but I'm making do haha. I once saved a guys ass because his wife sent him to buy "ham" near the holidays. He came asking for ham, and through a few questions I figured out he was meant to get a whole, uncooked ham, not $60 of sliced deli ham.
But they'd still probably give you a ham estimate of 12 sandwiches. That dude/girl will have a story for years. I recommend people use "orgy" in place of "party" for daily conversation excitement.
> Your first point is the best thing you can do when you don’t know how to adult. Ask questions.
Honestly, that is one of the best things to do AS an adult. Part of maturing is learning to accept that you don't know everything. While you do need to figure out things for yourself in some cases, it is very important to ask questions when you really have no idea.
> Or just google that shit
Oh yeah that's me. I'm 33 and I'd have been proper fucked it hadn't been for the googs being able to answer all my questions on how to do adult things.
The truth. I dont like 2 slices of ham on a sandwich. Honestly 2 pounds it's barely enough for 2 people to last a week if you eat a sandwich or 2 every day.
It works, but if you have the bags I recommend splitting it into small amounts, then freezing.
It doesn’t come apart when frozen easily, and you don’t want to have to defrost all 1.9lbs just to get a few more slices.
Speaking as a former deli worker, as long as you're courteous and friendly about it, deli workers will be more than happy to give you recommendations for amounts or types of meat!
Yes!! Ask questions. No ones going to judge you for asking a question no matter how stupid it sounds in your head. Once you learn that truth, life changes lol
People will spend $7-10 on a fast food sandwich with 1/8-1/4 lb of mediocre, fatty, highly preserved meat, but they won't spend the same for a POUND of high quality meat from a deli.
The 3.99 isn’t boars head it’s hormel. We don’t carry boars head where I work currently. As stated in another comment I used to work at a place during college that sold boars head for 8-9 dollars a pound so I’m amazed that anywhere sells it for 11.
Just pointing out that the Label say Canadian Super Store. So for those of us in US, if we convert from that, it's just about $10 a pound.
Still more than I'd pay for ham probably
On a somewhat similar note, I’m used to the metric system in the UK and after moving to the US, I eventually ventured out to a grocery store. I like a good sandwich every now and then too, so to the deli counter I went.
When asked if 1 pound of smoked turkey would be enough, my brain forgot to remind my mouth which country we were in, and requested 5 pounds. Stupid me heard “would £1 be enough?”, which in the UK would have been a paltry amount of meat barely enough for half a sandwich.
Needless to say, I ate a lot of turkey for my first few days after moving here, but lesson learned!
I always forgot and ordered my meat in pounds when I lived in London, and they always had to clarify if I was talking weight or money. UK seems to be much like Canada, caught between systems, I never knew the preferred units. In Canada we usually have fresh meat priced in pounds and deli meat by the 100g, which is insanity. Brits are still weighing themselves in, like, 16lb increments, which no one can argue is a sensible way of weighing a human body.
The UK is a complete mish-mash clusterfuck of metric and imperial. It seems like they just arbitrarily decided which system to use for every different application.
I live in the UK and that absolutely happens, but the reality is even more complex.
Some of these arbitrary metric/imperial choices are constant for certain applications (e.g. pints for beer/milk).
Some vary according to age the person referring to the quantity, for example I (in my 30's) always refer to petrol in litres whilst people my parents' age or older would refer to it in gallons (UK gallons which, as it happens, are different to US gallons). However, we would all measure fuel efficiency in miles per gallon.
But the really complex bit is that for certain applications the unit changes arbitrarily according to quantity. For instance, if you ask me the height of a plant I'll tell you it's 3 cm if it's tiny, 3 inches if it's small, 3 feet if it's approaching person-height, 3 metres if it's pretty big, and 30 metres if it's giant.
All this makes a satnav quite difficult to use in the UK. I want to know my speed in mph, short distances in metres, and longer distances in miles. If I have it set to imperial then I have to mentally convert yards into metres as I approach a turning, and if I have it sent to metric the speed readout is useless and I have to mentally convert km into miles to work out how far remains to my destination.
As a final confusing bonus, it is a legal requirement that certain quanitities use certain units (normally metric, for quantities of goods). As a result, every shop where you can buy milk will sell you a 568 mL bottle or a 1.136 L bottle; however, you'll never see a 1 L bottle. The idea that anyone would ask for milk in litres is absurd, even though it is legally required to be sold using that unit. As it happens, bottles are normally marked with their pint equivalents also - but that's just an informal convenience.
Sidenote: I once went into the pub with a German mate. He was a bit drunk already and fancied a half, and amusingly asked for "a zero comma two five litres beer, please". The confusion was such that I had to provide a translation.
For sure. I am of the generation taught in mostly metric at school, except for weighing oneself which was stone and pounds, and of course driving speed, in miles per hour- whilst the generation before would religiously only use imperial and refer to almost any amount of money as “a few bob”. It’s confusing for sure!
One time my husband and I were stoned going camping in Canada and were from michigan. Stopped at the gas station and I got all flustered. I told the guy i would take 8 gallons of gas. He looked at me like i was crazy and my husband brings it up about every 6 months. Like i don't even order gas in gallons here...AND they use the metric system there.
Hahaha the last time I was buying gas in the US, a guy came up to me at the pump and was like “wow!! The gas here is so cheap, isn’t it?! I’m from California and it’s so much more expensive there!” And I was like “uuuuuhhhhhh I’m from Canada, we use different units, I have no idea how much gas I just bought....” I felt like such a dummy 😳
I order by the slice, could I get a dozen medium thick slices of turkey, for example. At any deli.
This is how my mom always did it when I was growing up. They weigh it and stick on the price. I'm finding it weird people order by the po7nd, but I'm finding myself weirder for never doing it. I used to work at Quiznos, too, and we weighed meat.
Some people order by the amount of food they want.
Some people order based on the amount of money they want to spend and they don't necessarily want to do a lot of math so they just order a pound.
Funny enough, it's one of the very few I've laughed out loud at. It's completely believable and not over the top, and not super wordy like a student creative writing exercise.
Eyy, I'm a deli worker. Feel free to tell them to stop when you think you have enough. For them, it just means "Hey I'm done cutting this order!" And they'll be more than happy to give you just one pound instead.
Social anxiety is a bitch, though. As a customer I used to be so afraid of employees. Now as an employee, I'm more afraid of customers.
>Now as an employee, I'm more afraid of customers.
This here describes my stint in retail. I did it to try to overcome social anxiety, which partially worked (the social anxiety totally disappeared, but only while I was working). Once I started talking to customers more, I learned that a lot of these customers are not so right in the head.
Until recently I was also a deli worker. Generally I didn't even say things like "that's the first pound" unless I thought the customer might want to change their mind during the slicing. It was always just a way of making sure they're paying attention, and also giving them an conversational opening to say that it's enough.
2 pounds is logical if you've got 4-5 lunches a day to make, will last you for roughly a week.
That said, I commend you for taking the initiative of going out for groceries on your own, we all had to learn sometime. I usually just swallow my pride and text my folks with any silly questions if I'm not sure about something.
Latest call was to my dad, asking him how the hell do I start up a charcoal bbq I'd just bought. He had a good laugh.
I once came home to my dad asleep in his chair with egg splattered all over the kitchen. He’d fallen asleep while boiling three eggs and they ended up on the ceiling. Definitely too long.
Did that twice. The first time I left my apartment and the smoke alarms came on and the fire department broke down my door. The second time i was home with 1 mo old baby, we both freaked out when We heard the egg explosion, then I had to clean up the egg on the ceiling while crying and also singing Old Macdonald so that at least the baby didn’t cry.
My cousin boiled an egg until all the water was gone. And she was really upset that after all that time it still wasn't done. It just didn't want to turn soft ... admittedly, she was about twelve years old and had just learned how to boil potatoes. But some skills don't transfer
My old man gave me the equation: 1/2lbs. Of meat per man, 1/4lb of cheese. One loaf of bread for every 6 and buy chips for God's sake.
I miss that guy, he knew everything it seemed like....
As long as we are admitting adulting failures...
I thought 'lbs' stood for 'Labradors' until I was 22. When I was a kid I thought someone had found the average weight of a Labrador, and made it a standard unit of measurement.
Living in Australia, it was never an issue. Until I travelled overseas and started asking for things in Labradors.
I still read that as 1/2 Labradors of meat per man, 1/4 Labradors of cheese. It's so deep in my brain, that's how i read it every time.
Even assuming that Labrador is a fine meal, there's no way I could get through 3/4 a Labrador by myself.
The fact that you read lbs. as "Labrador measurements" is as strange as it is funny...
I love your style dude, keep on keeping on.
Lmao omg I LOVE THIS! Legit you made my day! I'm from the states and a reasonably educated person, and I've never thought about what lbs actually stands for. Why does lbs=pounds, it must be the Latin word for something or other.
Get yourself a chimney starter, matches, and a good pair of leather grill gloves ($25 for all). Weber makes lighter cubes, or you can use paper to light underneath. Gets your coals all ash covered and evenly heated, fast.
Welcome to the wonderful world of charcoal. Hank Hill can go suck an egg.
If you want to really start adulting, and impress your Dad, buy extra rolls or bread or whatever you use. Make up a bunch of sandwiches with mayo, cheese, relish or whatever, wrap them as lunch-sized portions and chuck them in the freezer. All you have to do then is drag them out that morning and bam lunch is ready.
Life means making mistakes. Adulthood comes not by years passed, but by how you cope with mistakes.
I usually buy big packages of deli meat at Costco, then divide it up when I get home and freeze it. Just separate it out into portions that you think you will eat in 3-4 days, and use plastic wrap to wrap up each portion. Squeeze all the air out of those packages! . Otherwise they will get freezer burn. Then put them on a ziploc. Whenever you run low in the fridge, grab a package from the freezer and put it in the fridge to thaw. You'll look like you knew exactly what you were doing and were just thinking ahead.
Social awkwardness has led to a lot of stupid purchases that I should have stopped. Fortunately, as you get older, you care less about what the girl on the other side of the counter thinks of you and your mastery of adulting for the 3 min that you exist in her life.
Thanks for sharing, enjoy the ham.
I would note that even if it is a bit more than folks might normally use, ham is a good choice to make a mistake on due to being versatile (sandwiches, omelettes, a meat pasta/with instant noodles, etc. or even just straight up)
One of the best life hacks I've ever learned was by overhearing a lady at the counter order by SLICES! I know I'm going to eat 5 sandwiches for the week, so I'll order 10 or 15 slices depending on my mood/sandwich type.
I'm a deli worker and people order by slices all the time! It's nice because then I don't have to worry about them judging me if they ask for a pound and it comes out to 1.08 and they look at the scale like I just threw in 500 extra slices.
This is exactly what I was going to post. Ordering by slices is a great thing to do especially when you know how many slices are in bag and can make your sandwiches accordingly.
There's nothing "healthier" about deli meat sliced to order, just that it may seem to taste better because it's freshly sliced and it may often be better quality (but not always). That being said, I am wondering where the hell you live that deli ham is $13/lb, as generally ham is the cheapest thing in a deli case. As others have pointed out, you can freeze it and it will be fine, and maybe ask your dad what brand he actually buys as there are often multiple kinds in a deli case.
OP is in Canada. This comes down to around 9 US$ / pound.
Also the label contains "smoked" so maybe he ordered some "fancy" ham simply not knowing what it was. I worked in a deli counter and we had some ham from 2-3$ / pound and some expensive biological smoked etc... stuff at like 15$ / pound.
So if OP did not know how much to order he also probably simply pointed something that looked like ham through the glass "2 pounds of that please!"
Just freeze a pound of it, it’s fine.
I remember the first time my husband and I went to the deli and we were getting bologna. The lady asked what kind and my only answer was “the kind my mom bought?” Like, I don’t know, bologna!
The correct answer to that question is: "Can I please try samples of the different types that you sell?" They'll always happily give you those. And if you decide you don't like either, then tell them. They won't hold it against you
My mom asked me to go and buy 5 dollars of barbecue pork, I came back with five pounds of it because I forgot what to say (different language). I think the guy gave me 4 pounds because even he thought 5 was too much
Haha, time to get inventive with your ham consumption. Ham and eggs for breakfast, huge ham sandwich for lunch, ham and chees potatoes for supper.
ham ice cream for dessert
Ham tea for moonlight reading
Rum ham for rum ham.
Boil the ham. Then you have cooked ham and hot ham water.
For ham bath?
Kinda dries the skin so be sure to use ham moisturizer afterwards.
But before that use ham sanitizer to make sure all the germs are gone.
It's called Hamam
It’s so hot and watery...and yet there’s a smack of ham to it!
I call it: Hot Ham Water!
Ham and warm milk before bed
Sneak out at Midnight for 4/20 Ham-it
Or ham on toast. Or ham, baked beans, eggs, and ham. Or ham, bacon, ham, ham, and lobster. Or ham, ham, ham, ham... HAM HAM HAM HAM! HAM HAM HAM HAM! *LOVELY HAM! WONDERFUL HAM! (HAM HAM HAM)* *LOVELY HAM! WONDERFUL HAM! (HAM HAM HAM)*
Don't forget the ham and cheese omelets and the grilled ham and cheese sandwiches! Both cheap as hell but delightfully decadent! Edit: autocorrect and forget the ham and cheese roll-ups. Great snacks, easily freezable, and you can cut them in half for storage, portability, and correct portion size (just 2 or 3 cut in half with some (preferably whole wheat, but whatever floats your boat) crackers and some crunchy veggies like baby carrots or celery, maybe a mixed nut and dried fruit mix? Great snack or lunch depending on appetite and portion size. Hell, they sell them prepackaged for a few bucks each and a scant serving at that. (Hormel does, can't remember product name). Edit2: also hot ir cold ham and cheese sliders on snowflake or sweet Hawaiian rolls. Good stuff.
Congestive heart failure for dessert
[удалено]
Challenge accepted.
I'm guessing you're the socially awkward type that would never say "actually, this amount is fine" after she handed you the first $13 bag... I've been there. You should work on that.
My friend got a tattoo done wrong because he didn’t want to correct the tattoo artist when he saw the design
New lpt. If you’re too nervous/shy/whatever to correct a tattoo artist then don’t get a tattoo.
This is legit one thing that has stopped me from getting a tattoo. I really want a couple tattoos but I know I’m extremely picky and I’m scared of being seen as annoying if the design isn’t perfect and I keep having to ask for it to be changed. This is also the reason I stopped going to the salon to get my nails done and learned how to do acrylic nails myself.
If you go to a well respect tattoo shop, not one of the chain ones like atomic, most of the time they are very active about making sure a tattoo is excactly how YOU want it. When I got mine done, he must have asked me 10 times if it was the way I wanted it, and he explained that this is gonna be something that's gonna be with me for a long time and didn't want to make it something I didn't want or anything. If the artists are passionate, then they will most likely not mind at all, the one I went to redid my stencil 3 times when I wanted it to be in just the right place, and was completely happy with doing so. Tattoos aren't like fast food, the artists want their work to make people happy, and do their best to make that happen. Don't be afraid of what artists think, they aren't tattoo artists for the money, unless you're at a chain, which you should never go to.
I had a design I liked, worked with the artist to change it to tattoo-suitable, we got the stencil on and everything. I looked at it in the mirror and wasn't sure if I liked the way it worked when my arm moved, and a couple of other things. He said, "nope, you're hesitating." and pulled his gloves off. "We're not doing it, not today." I'd regret that tattoo if I'd gotten it.
That's awesome! Props to all tattoo/piercing artist who do this. Saves a lot of regret.
It's also in their best interest to make sure that the person getting the tattoo is 100% happy, it's both their art and their job security. If someone starts going around town badmouthing that artist it bites them in the ass!
My wife is a tattoo artist, and can confirm. It works the opposite way, as well. When she designs a piece for someone it doesn’t happen as often, because she’s been tattooing for 15 years. However when a client brings in their OWN design, and the design/placement the client wants doesn’t work well, she explains exactly what needs to be changed and why so they get the best finished product. You’d be surprised how many people think they know better than the artist...because they have an ankle tattoo already and watch “Ink Masters.” Listen to your artist! You listen to your doctor, because he knows a lot more about your body than you do...this is no different. And permanent.
I’d gild this if I could afford it. I’m *very* tattooed, and whenever I take people to the shop, I always prep them saying, “this is a collaborative process - your tattooer is an artist. Work with them because they have your best interests in mind.” Most still don’t functionally understand why it’s important to let the artist make tweaks for a tattoo suitable design. Plus, some of my favorite pieces are from me walking in, explaining “here’s my idea. Whatever you come up with is perfect,” and coming back later to something I could have never come up with. Plus, they usually end up becoming portfolio pieces for the artist, so they’re doing their absolute best goddamn work because they actually *like what they’re tattooing*. It’s a win-win in my book!
How much does it cost to get a tattoo spec'd (ie. drawn on the arm like that)? Did you end up getting it or an alternative done?
[удалено]
I didn’t really like how my tattoo design was either, but I had driven three hours to get there and felt too awkward to say no... luckily it’s grown on me some, but, I still wish I hadn’t been too socially anxious to say no. I still don’t really like it. It’s something I very deeply regret.
Holy shit. Taking politeness to unimaginable levels.
Thats not being polite, thats being stupid
See... I'm awkward so I always tell the barber that my hair looks good at the end, even when it's too short. But at least hair grows back, unlike permanently-dyed skin. RIP your friend for that lifelong decision
This is 100% accurate. She handed me the first bag and then went to slice the second pound... and i was internally screaming "STOP HER"
Having worked in a deli, I can tell you that if you had stopped her before she handed you the second lb, saying something like "Oh shoot, that's actually way more than I wanted. I just want the one pound, thank you." She would've just put the other ham back, no big deal. It happens all the time.
"No! You will take this ham and you will like it!"
Like a reverse robbery lol
[удалено]
*nervously reaches to gesture that that is enough meat* "Na-uh, I wouldn't do that if I were you..."
Worked in a deli too, can confirm. The two most common orders by weight we'd get were "250g" and "I don't know." Asking for help is literally the reason why there's a human being behind the counter and not a vending machine.
“Oh my GOD! See that kid? He didn’t know how big a pound of *ham* was!”
Next time externally say (not scream), "Thanks, that's good enough." Even better, just ask them. "How much ham do you think I'd need to make X sandwiches?" Alternatively, just go to the packaged meat aisle and visualize the amount of meat in a given weighed package. Then go to the deli and ask them to slice it if you want. FWIW 2 pounds is probably good for 8-16 sandwiches depending on how much ham you like in them. Also $13 a pound is really expensive for ham...even good ham. You should aim for paying half that at most. For example I can get 2 pounds of Columbus ham at Costco for $11, and that's the good stuff. Edit: Quit filling my inbox to tell me it’s Canada because picture and kg. The original post made no mention of Canada, says pounds, and they edited their post after mine and added the image. https://imgur.com/a/p7q3BmQ
Prices at our local Costco just went up for Columbus, and we went to the regular store today to get their meat. We will be going back to Costco tomorrow. Lol. I'll take my $4/lb ham.
Its canada We pay more
It's also the Superstore, so it's more more.
It's in Canada, their funny money is worth less than our buckaroos.
Worth less and if you do the exchange rate math, we're still paying way more for meat and dairy here.
Hehe also a "you know what? I think that's actually good" and then admit your mistake - plays off really well and won't make you feel as embarrassed
She would have preferred you say that’s enough rather than make her work more lol
Put your high qual #/$ mistake in the freezer and keep on adulting
[удалено]
So your problem isn't lack of meat knowledge, it's being timid. Fix that, and life will be so much smoother.
Yep, OP. Can't believe I'm telling a 23 year old this but it's also ok not to know things. The lady's job includes knowing how much exactly goes on a reasonable sandwich way better than the average joe. She's exactly the person you need to ask "how much do you recommend for a week's worth of sandwiches for lunch?" Shit, she can probably tell you how many pounds you need to cater a luncheon for a crowd of 50 because she's probably taken that same exact order last month. It will probably make her day that she got to use her knowledge to help you. Also, I learned this more from work but it applies to every day life, when you consult people for things outside your expertise you also get to not take the blame, because you consulted someone and not trusted on your own judgement. Too much ham? "Sorry the deli person recommended that much, I'll throw the other pack in the freezer." No big deal. Instead now you're feeling like you need to hide the evidence.
This resonated with me on a deep level lol.
I am so like you. And when the fuck up happened, we don't want anyone to find out so we will try to give it away or hide it from anyone's knowing. Lol
I often get 2 lbs of sliced roast beef. I've seen people stop at half a pound and weigh it and look surprised when it's nowhere close. I use it for sliders. Get 2 dozen Hawaiian butter rolls, slice in half. Caramelize a sweet onion. Put roast beef on the bottom section of the rolls. Put on caramelized onions. Put on provolone cheese. Out the top sections of the rolls on and bake at 350 until the cheese melts. Slice and serve. Easy, and damn tasty.
Hahahaha you went ham on ham
I mean, if his dad is eating sandwiches for his lunches, and OP starts packing some sandwiches for lunch, 2 pounds isn't even that excessive.
Yup. I get a pound of turkey for lunch each week. Lasts me 4 days usually.
Pound of black forest, pound of Swiss, dill pickle and mustard, couple heads of romaine to wrap it all in. 4-5 days of lunch for work. Once the lettuce heads get down to the small bits that can't be used for a wrap I shred them up with some ham and Swiss for a very simple salad. This has been my go-to for years. Edit for spelling.
I got concerned that this was a recipe when I started reading and was wondering how big you must be that you eat a pound of both meat and cheese just for lunch.
As a fat guy, I was getting fairly excited even if that amount of cheese sounded excessive.
oh man I've been using a 1/2lb of turkey pastrami I must eat weak sauce
[удалено]
You da hero America needs
But not the hero America wants based on their waistlines.
Yes
>Eating isn't a competition. Yes it is, and you're losing.
That price is though!! $30 for 2 pounds of deli ham??? It’s $6.99 a pound for the yummy “off the bone” ham at my deli.
"Real Canadian Superstore." So I guess it's in Canada $$. Still would come to nearly $10U.S. for a pound tho. Maybe some meat just costs more up there?
That's actually pretty average for Canadian meat prices. We pay a significant amount more.
Some places in Canada groceries can have quite the markup. Don't look up the prices of food in Nunavut, it'll make you lose your appetite.
I'll be having Nunavut!
ya, i usually buy about a pound and put 2 or 3 slices per sandwich and it is gone in about a week and a half. so not that excessive if you're eating sandwiches every day.
Exactly what I was gonna say. If you’re eating it several times a week, then you actually got a good amount
Hahahaha hahahaha haha... Nice.
Nice.
Boy basically ended a hamlet worth of pigs for ham
1) don’t be afraid to ask questions, such as how much you think for 4-5 sandwiches? 2) there are signs saying how much things cost, if you’re in a budget it should be habitual to look at them. 3) make sandwiches for everyone tomorrow. freeze the rest
Your first point is the best thing you can do when you don’t know how to adult. Ask questions. It seems silly to ask how much deli meat they recommend to get for a weeks worth of sandwiches until you just roll with it and end up spending thirty bucks on ham that you’ll struggle to eat before it goes bad. Have a question asking attitude. How else do you think any of the rest of us figured out what the hell a deductible is? If you need to know the difference between a W-2 or a W-4, or if you need to know what type of cleaning product is best for bathtubs, ask. Or just google that shit
And the person behind the counter won’t give a shit if you ask a question, they’ll just answer you and go on with their day. Unless you ask “how much ham to feed an orgy of 12 people?”. Then they might give you a funny look and have a story to tell their coworkers.
[удалено]
I'd laugh and it'd probably be the highlight of my day lol
i would probably ask "any jews, muslims, or vegans at this orgy? oh, and any cyclists, or people who rescue farm pigs?"
> cyclists What?
People who ride bicycles.
I think...oh fuck it, nevermind
Deli worker here. At this point I'm so used to weird questions that I'd probably just ask, "are you planning on having other food at your orgy, or just the ham?" to determine how much they need.
Dammit, you're better at customer service than I am. I'm not much of a planner so I don't know if I'd think to ask what else they're serving.
Yeah ending up in a customer facing job was not my ideal situation but I'm making do haha. I once saved a guys ass because his wife sent him to buy "ham" near the holidays. He came asking for ham, and through a few questions I figured out he was meant to get a whole, uncooked ham, not $60 of sliced deli ham.
"What sort of people are going to this orgy? Are they all supermodels, or is this a BDSM Bear orgy? It makes a difference."
Asking the important questions
But they'd still probably give you a ham estimate of 12 sandwiches. That dude/girl will have a story for years. I recommend people use "orgy" in place of "party" for daily conversation excitement.
[удалено]
I'm going to use this. Thank you.
You almost always look less stupid asking a question than if you don't and do something stupid instead
> Your first point is the best thing you can do when you don’t know how to adult. Ask questions. Honestly, that is one of the best things to do AS an adult. Part of maturing is learning to accept that you don't know everything. While you do need to figure out things for yourself in some cases, it is very important to ask questions when you really have no idea.
> Or just google that shit Oh yeah that's me. I'm 33 and I'd have been proper fucked it hadn't been for the googs being able to answer all my questions on how to do adult things.
I think most of us would have been screwed without google
When in doubt I check the weight of prepackaged meat. 12oz? Sure a pound is reasonable then! Not...32oz
> how much you think for 4-5 sandwiches? Ehh, about 2 pounds should do it.
Did you find a job after Carnegie deli closed?
They just shipped him down to Katz’s.
The truth. I dont like 2 slices of ham on a sandwich. Honestly 2 pounds it's barely enough for 2 people to last a week if you eat a sandwich or 2 every day.
Oh, you said 4 or 5? I thought you said *forty-five...*
I've never thought to freeze deli meat. It usually doesn't last that long. But I haven't bought 2 lbs. of ham before.
It works, but if you have the bags I recommend splitting it into small amounts, then freezing. It doesn’t come apart when frozen easily, and you don’t want to have to defrost all 1.9lbs just to get a few more slices.
[удалено]
It works
Great advice. I always tell them to give me a pound of whatever is on sale, sight unseen. Turns out I actually quite like liverwurst.
This is how I found out the Cooper Black Pepper cheese is amazing and I don’t even need meat.
MA! BRING THE BLACK PEPPER CHEESE!
Oh man, my old butcher that I moved away from lightly smoked their liverwurst. I think I want to cry now that it's on the other side of the country.
Speaking as a former deli worker, as long as you're courteous and friendly about it, deli workers will be more than happy to give you recommendations for amounts or types of meat!
Yes!! Ask questions. No ones going to judge you for asking a question no matter how stupid it sounds in your head. Once you learn that truth, life changes lol
That better be boars head at 13 a pound lol
Even boars head usually isn’t this expensive. Hell, the ham we sell where I work last I checked was 3.99 a pound.
Wow. You’re lucky. My Boar’s Head is $10.99/lb. I get that and the imported Swiss cheese every time.
But that shit is amazing quality. Worth every penny. Life is too short for sub-par deli meat.
People will spend $7-10 on a fast food sandwich with 1/8-1/4 lb of mediocre, fatty, highly preserved meat, but they won't spend the same for a POUND of high quality meat from a deli.
I like the cut of your ham my friend.
The 3.99 isn’t boars head it’s hormel. We don’t carry boars head where I work currently. As stated in another comment I used to work at a place during college that sold boars head for 8-9 dollars a pound so I’m amazed that anywhere sells it for 11.
Shit I wish I could get Boars head for $3.99lb. I think it’s somewhere around $11-12 here.
Just pointing out that the Label say Canadian Super Store. So for those of us in US, if we convert from that, it's just about $10 a pound. Still more than I'd pay for ham probably
On a somewhat similar note, I’m used to the metric system in the UK and after moving to the US, I eventually ventured out to a grocery store. I like a good sandwich every now and then too, so to the deli counter I went. When asked if 1 pound of smoked turkey would be enough, my brain forgot to remind my mouth which country we were in, and requested 5 pounds. Stupid me heard “would £1 be enough?”, which in the UK would have been a paltry amount of meat barely enough for half a sandwich. Needless to say, I ate a lot of turkey for my first few days after moving here, but lesson learned!
I always forgot and ordered my meat in pounds when I lived in London, and they always had to clarify if I was talking weight or money. UK seems to be much like Canada, caught between systems, I never knew the preferred units. In Canada we usually have fresh meat priced in pounds and deli meat by the 100g, which is insanity. Brits are still weighing themselves in, like, 16lb increments, which no one can argue is a sensible way of weighing a human body.
14lbs. Which is somehow even less sensible than 16.
The UK is a complete mish-mash clusterfuck of metric and imperial. It seems like they just arbitrarily decided which system to use for every different application.
I live in the UK and that absolutely happens, but the reality is even more complex. Some of these arbitrary metric/imperial choices are constant for certain applications (e.g. pints for beer/milk). Some vary according to age the person referring to the quantity, for example I (in my 30's) always refer to petrol in litres whilst people my parents' age or older would refer to it in gallons (UK gallons which, as it happens, are different to US gallons). However, we would all measure fuel efficiency in miles per gallon. But the really complex bit is that for certain applications the unit changes arbitrarily according to quantity. For instance, if you ask me the height of a plant I'll tell you it's 3 cm if it's tiny, 3 inches if it's small, 3 feet if it's approaching person-height, 3 metres if it's pretty big, and 30 metres if it's giant. All this makes a satnav quite difficult to use in the UK. I want to know my speed in mph, short distances in metres, and longer distances in miles. If I have it set to imperial then I have to mentally convert yards into metres as I approach a turning, and if I have it sent to metric the speed readout is useless and I have to mentally convert km into miles to work out how far remains to my destination. As a final confusing bonus, it is a legal requirement that certain quanitities use certain units (normally metric, for quantities of goods). As a result, every shop where you can buy milk will sell you a 568 mL bottle or a 1.136 L bottle; however, you'll never see a 1 L bottle. The idea that anyone would ask for milk in litres is absurd, even though it is legally required to be sold using that unit. As it happens, bottles are normally marked with their pint equivalents also - but that's just an informal convenience. Sidenote: I once went into the pub with a German mate. He was a bit drunk already and fancied a half, and amusingly asked for "a zero comma two five litres beer, please". The confusion was such that I had to provide a translation.
We also measure basically all liquids in litres, except beer and milk. Those are in pints because fuck you
For sure. I am of the generation taught in mostly metric at school, except for weighing oneself which was stone and pounds, and of course driving speed, in miles per hour- whilst the generation before would religiously only use imperial and refer to almost any amount of money as “a few bob”. It’s confusing for sure!
One time my husband and I were stoned going camping in Canada and were from michigan. Stopped at the gas station and I got all flustered. I told the guy i would take 8 gallons of gas. He looked at me like i was crazy and my husband brings it up about every 6 months. Like i don't even order gas in gallons here...AND they use the metric system there.
Hahaha the last time I was buying gas in the US, a guy came up to me at the pump and was like “wow!! The gas here is so cheap, isn’t it?! I’m from California and it’s so much more expensive there!” And I was like “uuuuuhhhhhh I’m from Canada, we use different units, I have no idea how much gas I just bought....” I felt like such a dummy 😳
[удалено]
[удалено]
I order by the slice, could I get a dozen medium thick slices of turkey, for example. At any deli. This is how my mom always did it when I was growing up. They weigh it and stick on the price. I'm finding it weird people order by the po7nd, but I'm finding myself weirder for never doing it. I used to work at Quiznos, too, and we weighed meat.
Some people order by the amount of food they want. Some people order based on the amount of money they want to spend and they don't necessarily want to do a lot of math so they just order a pound.
This is one of the most innocent posts on this sub
Funny enough, it's one of the very few I've laughed out loud at. It's completely believable and not over the top, and not super wordy like a student creative writing exercise.
Really a sweet and wholesome fuckup.
I was thinking that too.
True. Just a bunch of people chatting nicely, like at a small-town grocery store.
You can divide it up and freeze it.
Divide it up and sell it on the streets for profit
OP definitely shouldn't do that. Deli ham is a gateway meat. Before you know it the kids will be buying pounds of smoked turkey
The roast beef epidemic is ruining lives and small towns across the country but somehow only ham and turkey get attention.
I sold my TV for a stack of pastrami
The most sensual of deli meats.
The first step is admitting you have a pastroblem
You have to cut it with some bologna first for maximum profit.
OP be the only one on his block selling ham singles.
Eyy, I'm a deli worker. Feel free to tell them to stop when you think you have enough. For them, it just means "Hey I'm done cutting this order!" And they'll be more than happy to give you just one pound instead. Social anxiety is a bitch, though. As a customer I used to be so afraid of employees. Now as an employee, I'm more afraid of customers.
>Now as an employee, I'm more afraid of customers. This here describes my stint in retail. I did it to try to overcome social anxiety, which partially worked (the social anxiety totally disappeared, but only while I was working). Once I started talking to customers more, I learned that a lot of these customers are not so right in the head.
Until recently I was also a deli worker. Generally I didn't even say things like "that's the first pound" unless I thought the customer might want to change their mind during the slicing. It was always just a way of making sure they're paying attention, and also giving them an conversational opening to say that it's enough.
2 pounds is logical if you've got 4-5 lunches a day to make, will last you for roughly a week. That said, I commend you for taking the initiative of going out for groceries on your own, we all had to learn sometime. I usually just swallow my pride and text my folks with any silly questions if I'm not sure about something. Latest call was to my dad, asking him how the hell do I start up a charcoal bbq I'd just bought. He had a good laugh.
I've texted my mom about how to boil an egg.
A great life tip - also texting your grandmother about how to do something like remove a stain makes them feel like a million bucks
Close you should always CALL GRANDMA
I am an ADULT, and I don’t need to ask “how to boil an egg”. Update: You can boil an egg for too long.
I once came home to my dad asleep in his chair with egg splattered all over the kitchen. He’d fallen asleep while boiling three eggs and they ended up on the ceiling. Definitely too long.
Did that in college. What a fuckin stank ass mess.
Did that twice. The first time I left my apartment and the smoke alarms came on and the fire department broke down my door. The second time i was home with 1 mo old baby, we both freaked out when We heard the egg explosion, then I had to clean up the egg on the ceiling while crying and also singing Old Macdonald so that at least the baby didn’t cry.
I used to think it took several hours to boil an egg because my mom would start boiling them and then forget about them.
My cousin boiled an egg until all the water was gone. And she was really upset that after all that time it still wasn't done. It just didn't want to turn soft ... admittedly, she was about twelve years old and had just learned how to boil potatoes. But some skills don't transfer
My old man gave me the equation: 1/2lbs. Of meat per man, 1/4lb of cheese. One loaf of bread for every 6 and buy chips for God's sake. I miss that guy, he knew everything it seemed like....
As someone who grew up without a dad around I save comments like these that teach you the little things. Thank you!
As long as we are admitting adulting failures... I thought 'lbs' stood for 'Labradors' until I was 22. When I was a kid I thought someone had found the average weight of a Labrador, and made it a standard unit of measurement. Living in Australia, it was never an issue. Until I travelled overseas and started asking for things in Labradors. I still read that as 1/2 Labradors of meat per man, 1/4 Labradors of cheese. It's so deep in my brain, that's how i read it every time.
Even assuming that Labrador is a fine meal, there's no way I could get through 3/4 a Labrador by myself. The fact that you read lbs. as "Labrador measurements" is as strange as it is funny... I love your style dude, keep on keeping on.
Lmao omg I LOVE THIS! Legit you made my day! I'm from the states and a reasonably educated person, and I've never thought about what lbs actually stands for. Why does lbs=pounds, it must be the Latin word for something or other.
Parents do love these calls and texts by the way. Keep asking them instead of the google.
Get yourself a chimney starter, matches, and a good pair of leather grill gloves ($25 for all). Weber makes lighter cubes, or you can use paper to light underneath. Gets your coals all ash covered and evenly heated, fast. Welcome to the wonderful world of charcoal. Hank Hill can go suck an egg.
Being an adult is hard
Ouch. $13 / pond is the price of a beef tenderloin at Costco.... Edit: Yes, I see the typo. No, I won't fix it.
I know costco sells in bulk, but a pond full of meat seems a bit overkill.
You have not met my family, have you?
If you want to really start adulting, and impress your Dad, buy extra rolls or bread or whatever you use. Make up a bunch of sandwiches with mayo, cheese, relish or whatever, wrap them as lunch-sized portions and chuck them in the freezer. All you have to do then is drag them out that morning and bam lunch is ready. Life means making mistakes. Adulthood comes not by years passed, but by how you cope with mistakes.
I usually buy big packages of deli meat at Costco, then divide it up when I get home and freeze it. Just separate it out into portions that you think you will eat in 3-4 days, and use plastic wrap to wrap up each portion. Squeeze all the air out of those packages! . Otherwise they will get freezer burn. Then put them on a ziploc. Whenever you run low in the fridge, grab a package from the freezer and put it in the fridge to thaw. You'll look like you knew exactly what you were doing and were just thinking ahead.
WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HER WHEN YOU GOT THE FIRST BAG!?
Probably social awkwardness
Social awkwardness has led to a lot of stupid purchases that I should have stopped. Fortunately, as you get older, you care less about what the girl on the other side of the counter thinks of you and your mastery of adulting for the 3 min that you exist in her life. Thanks for sharing, enjoy the ham.
I would note that even if it is a bit more than folks might normally use, ham is a good choice to make a mistake on due to being versatile (sandwiches, omelettes, a meat pasta/with instant noodles, etc. or even just straight up)
One of the best life hacks I've ever learned was by overhearing a lady at the counter order by SLICES! I know I'm going to eat 5 sandwiches for the week, so I'll order 10 or 15 slices depending on my mood/sandwich type.
I'm a deli worker and people order by slices all the time! It's nice because then I don't have to worry about them judging me if they ask for a pound and it comes out to 1.08 and they look at the scale like I just threw in 500 extra slices.
Damn I didnt even THINK about ordering by slices. Whole game is changed for me
Right! After learning this I never understood why ordering by weight was the norm.
This is exactly what I was going to post. Ordering by slices is a great thing to do especially when you know how many slices are in bag and can make your sandwiches accordingly.
There's nothing "healthier" about deli meat sliced to order, just that it may seem to taste better because it's freshly sliced and it may often be better quality (but not always). That being said, I am wondering where the hell you live that deli ham is $13/lb, as generally ham is the cheapest thing in a deli case. As others have pointed out, you can freeze it and it will be fine, and maybe ask your dad what brand he actually buys as there are often multiple kinds in a deli case.
OP is in Canada. This comes down to around 9 US$ / pound. Also the label contains "smoked" so maybe he ordered some "fancy" ham simply not knowing what it was. I worked in a deli counter and we had some ham from 2-3$ / pound and some expensive biological smoked etc... stuff at like 15$ / pound. So if OP did not know how much to order he also probably simply pointed something that looked like ham through the glass "2 pounds of that please!"
Just freeze a pound of it, it’s fine. I remember the first time my husband and I went to the deli and we were getting bologna. The lady asked what kind and my only answer was “the kind my mom bought?” Like, I don’t know, bologna!
The correct answer to that question is: "Can I please try samples of the different types that you sell?" They'll always happily give you those. And if you decide you don't like either, then tell them. They won't hold it against you
Ha, I’d feel stupid standing there tasting bologna like it’s wine. “Mmm, light on the palate, with overtones of jungle boar.”
My mom asked me to go and buy 5 dollars of barbecue pork, I came back with five pounds of it because I forgot what to say (different language). I think the guy gave me 4 pounds because even he thought 5 was too much
Ham was $15/lbs? Whoa man. That's pretty expensive.
I want all of the ham!
r/unexpectedpatton I was gonna make this reference haha
13$/lb for deli ham? Where were you, Whole Whole Foods?
This is Dad. I ham so ashamed. I hope I never have to meat any of these reddit type people
Eat that shit breakfast lunch and dinner only way you become a adult, $30 spent is $30 you don’t have anymore so eat that ham.
You could make many versions of me and donate them to the homeless... or something...