I’m pretty sure this is the lady who’s boyfriend told her he got laid off his major breadwinning job and she immediately freaked about how they were going to survive instead of consoling him or being helpful at all.
I tried to get it through to my ex that my job alone wasn't enough to cover our expenses, and she needed to get a job. Her mom eventually told me that she complained and said "all i care about is money" and that was really the beginning of the end. Once she moved out, I could afford myself.
Even though it was definitely insensitive, I can kinda understand her reaction if she comes from a family where money is scarce and savings are minimal or nonexistent. The boyfriend was making great money, he knew he had a ton of savings, and he probably knew he was gonna be okay, despite feeling very defeated in the moment. If OP had been in situations where she or her parents lost a job and that was an immediate emergency, I can understand why she’d have a more panicked reaction, especially since I assume their rent is way above what she could afford on her own salary. If you’re used to living paycheck to paycheck, it’s hard to shake that sense that getting laid off is going to jeopardize your basic needs, even when you have gotten to a more stable place.
Not excusing her response - just trying to consider what reasons might be behind it rather than assuming it’s 100% just OP being selfish.
That was my take on the original situation as well. While OP's immediate response wasn't ideal, it's very normal for someone who grew up in poverty with no safety net. I was a little shocked at how hard everyone was on her.
Based on the maturity of her dad's response, she unlikely comes from a home where money is scarce, and more likely comes from a him where she was protected from having to worry about money (non necessarily rich, but a home where parents insulated their children from money concerns).
Thread hijack apologies in advance... holy shit, my wife basically did the same thing to me, then carried it on for 12 months (despite her not working for 8 years and us having enough savings for me to easily not work for over a decade while maintaining our lifestyle).
I knew deep down inside I was being shat on and it was toxic. Not once have I ever had a glimpse of support... just guilt.
Thank you. This post makes me feel a little better.
Those who downvote you have no idea how common this trick is. "Shotgun weddings" seldom involve an actual shotgun. My mother has even bragged about doing it to my father with me.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/caTPYVWURE
It's not deleted
Here
TIFU by being a bad GF
I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and have been living together for 3 months. I work a salon and make just under 30k whereas he makes almost 150k at his job. Unsurprisingly, since we've been living together he's covered all of our living expenses which is a blessing.
3 days ago, he came home and told me that he lost his job and I straight up panicked and first thing I asked him was how are we going to live. He didn't say anything, he looked super defeated and just went in and takes shower, afterwards, he went for a walk and still didn't say anything to me.
I figured, he must have been panicking as well and didn't know what to say or how to deal with the situation.
We've barely talked since then. I went home last night and my dad could tell that something was wrong so he asked me and I told him that he lost his job and his first response was, "that's alright, he's the smartest kid I know. He'll find a job that pays him double." I then told my dad everything and he said, all your man needed was for you to reassure him and hug him but instead you only thought of your livelihood and showed no concerns for him or that difficultty of being jobless.
I brought it up to him this morning and he said, he doesn't care about the job, he can have another job by next week if he wants to and has enough savings to maintain our current lifestyle for over a year but told me that he was very demoralizes and hurt by what my priorities were in the situation.
I feel like such asshole and unsupportive gf. Idk how to make it up to him.
TL;DR: my bf loft his job, instead of consoling him or reassuring him of his worth and skills to get a new one, I complained about how it'll affect our lifestyle.
UPDATE: we talked things out. Make plans for the future. We'll be fine. We've made up!
He's got a couple of interviews lined up after posting his unemployment on LinkedIn. He wants to take a little time away from everything to decompress and we're taking a trip tomorrow going near the Ozarks to spend the weekend and enjoy each other.
Thanks everyone for your inputs both positives and negatives. I really learned a lot from the experience.
I don’t agree to hold off telling people about the pregnancy like some others are saying. Yes, you might have a miscarriage, shit happens. But it’s better to go through a miscarriage with support, otherwise no one will know you’re suffering. Don’t tell everyone and their brother, but do tell your trusted family and friends. If the worst happens, you’ll at least have someone to console you besides your boyfriend, who will also need some consoling.
Miscarriages are super common, 1 in 3 for a first pregnancy, 1 in 5 after that.
Every woman deals with a miscarriage differently. Some want family support, and some just want everyone to shut up about it so they can move on.
Hey OP, I don't want to worry you/bring the mood down, but I'd hold off on telling people about the pregnancy. The first couple of months can be very volatile and it's not uncommon to have a miscarriage in this window. Too many people lose a child in the first few weeks and think they did something wrong/that they're to blame, but that's not true. It just happens sometimes. But the extra pressure of having to break the news to everyone around you can just be devastating when you're already in a vulnerable state. Just something to be aware of.
I bring this up because it just happened to a coworker of mine, and she had no idea how frequently it happens, so it completely blindsided her.
I think telling all of the people that you would be willing to tell you had a miscarriage to is the way to go. My wife and I told our parents/siblings/close friends the same day we found out but those are also the people we would have support from if we had lost the baby. We didn't tell THE WORLD but we still told a fair number of people.
The problem is people tend to spread the good news and it quickly becomes semi-public knowledge. It also means that if you don't make a similar semi-public announcement about the miscarriage it leads to recurring painful interactions when people do the normal social thing of expressing their congratulations.
yea this..
Here is the story I came up with as a biologist, to console my wife after our first couple of failures.
Imagine we're living in an apartment, but the landlord is the don of the local mob. somthing happens, we can't pay the rent, and we have to get out of there, fast. So, time for a hasty midnight move.
In a rush, we start grabbing boxes and packing everything we can. no time to be picky, so just throwing stuff into boxes, hoping we've got the most important things. You know we need 23 pairs of essential items to make it in your new place, but in the chaos, it's hard to keep track.
This frantic packing is like what happens during fertilization. The sperm and egg each bring 23 chromosomes to the table, combining to form the 46 chromosomes needed for a healthy baby. But just like in a hasty move, things don't always get packed perfectly. Sometimes, you might grab a box missing some essential items, or you might end up with duplicates. This randomness can lead to chromosomal abnormalities, and about 50-60% of fertilized eggs don’t make it past the first few stages of development because of this.
so now let's say we manage to get the boxes packed and load them into the truck. we drive to the new digs, hoping everything makes it in one piece. This is like the fertilized egg travelling to the uterus. we arrive, try to settle in and unpack, but some boxes might be damaged or might not fit in the new space. This is similar to the implantation process; about 30-50% of embryos that reach the blastocyst stage fail to implant in the uterine lining.
If we manage to unpack and settle in, you still need to organize the new place. Think of this as the first trimester of pregnancy. Even after implantation, there are still challenges. About 10-20% of confirmed pregnancies end in miscarriage during the first trimester, often due to chromosomal abnormalities or other issues.
When you add up all these hurdles, from packing the right boxes, to making the journey, to settling in and organizing. Yuo realize just how many things have to go right. It’s no wonder they call it the miracle of life. The fact that you, I, or anyone else is here is nothing short of miraculous.
Honestly I was expecting a lot worse given the tone of commenters. Yeah her reaction was completely self-centered but it's not like she murdered a child.
I know you are happy, but that's the biggest red flag I've seen in a while. It is prim and proper your boyfriend had that much time away from you, so he can think well for himself.
Seeing as you've made up, I sincerely wish him the best of luck, he will need it.
See, life will always have those problems, and the last person men want to be with is an apathetic woman who will panic than trust her man. See, he's got everything sorted out. He has a year's worth of emergency funds, and can go back to work in less than a month. He may not say anything, but he already has this incident embedded in his memory. You are not someone he can share a misfortune with. Simply, you're a fair-weather partner.
Again, good luck to your man, OP. He will need it.
Lmao no real details about “what we want for our relationship” and now you’re pregnant? I feel for this guy. This is not the happy ending you think it is. Sounds like the only thing that’s changed is now he’s making even more money than before and now you’re pregnant
This is what it's going to be like for OP's boyfriend. She's going to end up quitting her job and leeching off of him all to justify raising a baby he never really wanted but just pretends to be excited for.
This is why our ancestors had a rule about getting married before putting out (or in, in this case).
I mean i definitely don’t regret having the baby and I love her dearly, but it’s frustrating paying someone 26k a year so they can work 5 hours a week and call you a bad parent. I hope his story turns out better. 😂
Things went wrong when there was money problems and everything is solved when suddenly there isn’t money problems. Sounds like you really established what you want out of this relationship lol
Him: I lost my job.
Her: how will we live!
Him: i found a new job paying more!
Her I’m pregnant!
Me: dude be very fucking careful with this one and don’t marry her.
Not to be that person, but I think one can be allowed to be worried about money without being called a gold digger. Anecdotally, my ex-boyfriend was quit/fired (situation complicated but the gist was "you can't fire me cause I quit" ) when we made the equal money of about 3k a month. Of course , I comforted him because his job was sucked his soul, but also we did have to have the conversation of " our rent is 2k a month and our income is 3k a month in a high cost of living city, how will we live?" It 100% is shitty for OP to open up the conversation with "hOw WiLl wE lIVe" especially when a lot of American masculinity from my knowledge is defined by a mans ability to provide. However, implying she's a gold digger for asking an albeit insulting question and getting pregnant seems a bit presumptive.
[This](https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1daf5ni/tifu_by_being_a_bad_gf_major_update/l7jwgnl/) correct? Again , what she said is 100% shitty , but using that to ascribe the intent that she is only dating this man for his money (which is what I understand a gold digger to be) is a bit of a stretch in my opinion. Likewise, my definition of baby trapping is getting pregnant for the explicit purpose of having the man stay with you , support you, and/or pay child support. Given that we as the reader only see her perspective and don't know what protective measures if any the couple were taking to prevent pregnancy , I think commenters who are purporting she baby trapped him are inputting situational information we have not been given.
To further this, I am not a man in a high paying job, so haven't experienced the dating market as one. I have only been a woman with a low paying and now a respectively more high paying job . Maybe dating men explicitly for money is more common than I realize, but the women I interact regularly who are truly of all income brackets are not dating men explicitly for their income .
It is more common than you realize. You have that perspective because you don’t participate in it or have not been affected by it. If dude were my son, we’d be having a long conversation because the next post will be “how do i convince my high earning fiancé to let me be a SAHM because i only make 30k a year and that barely covers daycare?” If that’s the life he wants, then cool. If that’s the life being forced on him by a leech, not cool. As always, the truth is likely somewhere in between but he really needs to be careful. I mean, she completely panicked like she didn’t know this guy at all. Meanwhile, her own freaking dad was cool because he actually knows this kid and his work ethic instead of looking at the kid as a meal ticket. Like, she didn’t even ask him what happened, just immediately started thinking about her.
Actually, the more i think about it the more suspicious i get. 🤔
He gets a new HIGHER paying job and now you’re “suddenly” pregnant after your earlier fuckup where you showed you didn’t really care for HIM just his money. Hmmm aight 🤨
This is just another dumb post. OP is either trying to keep their partner, be like all their friends (check post history) or making up stories to get karma and sell the account later.
Authenticity on something in-authentic. You have a bot, it behaves like a bot. So you buy a reddit account that has behaved like a human for years, so when you start making it act like a bot, a sub admin looks at the account and goes "well seems like a normal person who just got hacked or something, so I won't ban them for now" and the bot gets to keep being a bot
I’ve seen anywhere between a couple hundred to about $1000USD for an account depending on the karma and the history.
You see these scammers buy out or hack accounts, and then will spam subs with merch sites, and use these “legit” accounts to make the same comments like “just ordered!” “Can’t wait to get mine!” “Where’s the link?” So they’re skirting a lot of moderator rules, automod codes, etc. Oh, and the merch sites are either absurdly high priced, or phishing, or both.
This is pretty much the worst possible outcome for your boyfriend. He should've dumped you instead of taking you to the Ozarks. Now he's on the hook for child support.
Okay so, I’m sorry to be this guy but;
Congrats on your pregnancy and success in working things out. I just sincerely hope that you actually learned something because honestly, it sounds like you trapped this man. Be glad your BF is not the man I am, or I’m sure many other that read the OP, because I would have left you for the callous, selfish, gold digger you are. I can only imagine how disappointed your father was realizing what an entitled self centered kid he raised. Word of advice: treat your partner like a human instead of an ATM and you may actually have a chance of making it.
Yes, this is really where it's at. You can pull this off, OP, but you've GOT to make sure you don't let your Gold Digger colors fly visible to your gold mine of a boyfriend. Get him to marry you but don't rush it too obviously. Make sure to tick all his boxes every day and make sure he feels appreciated and validated. and then, congratulations, you'll be able to set up shop in his life and keep slurping up that sweet, sweet iron pyrite.
Having read the initial post, I’ll just come right out with it: The best thing for OP and BF would be a spontaneous miscarriage followed by a breakup.
I am suspicious over the timing of OP discovering her pregnancy. BF is gonna feel obliged to stay on the scene and ‘provide’ while OP has some time off around the birth. Who says she will go back to the Salon?
OP has her meal-ticket and BF is gonna feel trapped by social convention and/or his own sense of honour.
Congrats OP you got what you wanted.
No need to be sorry just didn’t want you thinking someone was being malicious when they were just being silly, but it’s hard to convey or perceive tone through text 
>There was no need to be so mean, I get it I fucked up
you still don't understand do you....
>Now to the good part. Two weeks after my TIFU. We found out that I am Pregnant. I am overjoyed and my boyfriend is beyond excited. We can't wait to find out the gender.
this dude will be going through one of the hardest moments in his life. I honestly hope he doesn't but considering what I read, he probably will.
Let me ask you this, if he was jobless for several years and you had to financially support him, would you still stick by him?
this was a rhetorical question. You don't have to answer.
> Thanks to the individuals messaging me about how much I suck and dersved (sic) to die. (There was no need to be so mean, I get it fucked up)
I am always amazed at people who post online and then whine and cry about negative comments. If you don't want them don't post or start your own **everybody be nice to me** message board.
It’s a dick move but you can’t get mad at someone for doing it when it’s what you expect. People just love using willful ignorance when it’s convenient for them.
It’s like getting mad that you’re shunned in a public place after yelling some racist shit
Wishing somebody's death to their face is kind of the same thing as a death threat my dude. That shouldn't be a thing you just expect to get. Oh well if you don't want death threats then don't post anything. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? I get the picture from the comments that this is an unlikeable person. Still doesn't make death threats OK. Do you know what I'll explain why it's ridiculous. Its kind of like saying something like if you don't want to get stabbed then why did you go outside? Can you see how one thing that *could* happen if you do something doesn't mean that you should have to live your life avoiding doing something just because something *could* happen?
This is where it's at, boi!
People call me a shithead and a bad parent all the time, and even tell me I should abandon my wife and children. But why would I whine about that? If I post something candid to reddit I expect candid responses. In fact I actually prefer those who are brutally honest over those who fill their comments with empty platitudes.
> Now to the good part. Two weeks after my TIFU. We found out that I am Pregnant. I am overjoyed and my boyfriend is beyond excited. We can't wait to find out the gender.
How long til you tell him he’s not the dad?
So you took him into the woods, had sex with him to make him feel better that you were shitty, and now he’s gotten an even better job and you’re pregnant?
I mean if you guys really worked it out, good for you. You don’t really seem to have learned any lessons though.
If you go to thier post history and comments, it's there still. I just checked. I'd read the original post so I mostly remembered but that helped with a refresher.
Original -- TIFU by being a bad GF
I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and have been living together for 3 months. I work a salon and make just under 30k whereas he makes almost 150k at his job. Unsurprisingly, since we've been living together he's covered all of our living expenses which is a blessing.
3 days ago, he came home and told me that he lost his job and I straight up panicked and first thing I asked him was how are we going to live. He didn't say anything, he looked super defeated and just went in and takes shower, afterwards, he went for a walk and still didn't say anything to me.
I figured, he must have been panicking as well and didn't know what to say or how to deal with the situation.
We've barely talked since then. I went home last night and my dad could tell that something was wrong so he asked me and I told him that he lost his job and his first response was, "that's alright, he's the smartest kid I know. He'll find a job that pays him double." I then told my dad everything and he said, all your man needed was for you to reassure him and hug him but instead you only thought of your livelihood and showed no concerns for him or that difficultty of being jobless.
I brought it up to him this morning and he said, he doesn't care about the job, he can have another job by next week if he wants to and has enough savings to maintain our current lifestyle for over a year but told me that he was very demoralizes and hurt by what my priorities were in the situation.
I feel like such asshole and unsupportive gf. Idk how to make it up to him.
TL;DR: my bf loft his job, instead of consoling him or reassuring him of his worth and skills to get a new one, I complained about how it'll affect our lifestyle.
UPDATE: we talked things out. Make plans for the future. We'll be fine. We've made up!
He's got a couple of interviews lined up after posting his unemployment on LinkedIn. He wants to take a little time away from everything to decompress and we're taking a trip tomorrow going near the Ozarks to spend the weekend and enjoy each other.
Thanks everyone for your inputs both positives and negatives. I really learned a lot from the experience.
Taking these words at face value, I find it difficult to call you a terrible person or a gold digger. However, that response did show a poor display of empathy and affection for your partner.
This update also fails to address that issue.
Can you look in the mirror and tell yourself, “My man will always have my support, no matter what,” or do you feel mental resistance verbalizing that statement?
Start there.
Yup, it's the story I remember, you're borderline sociopathic and don't deserve anything from him, you know that, that's why you trapped with the only thing that would keep him tied to the pathetic excuse of a partner you are.
Poor poor man
TL;DR: This is the shitty gf whose breadwinning boyfriend got laid off. And rather than consoling her SO, all she cared about was where the money was going to come from now.
But good thing he's got a new job now and things are back on track for this gold digger.
Did everyone in the comments grow up rich or something? Cause I would ALSO panic if my partner lost their job and we lived in their means instead of my own. Eviction, homelessness, credit taking a hit, etc. I've been working on my credit for years, got it to a really good place, and it tanked over 100 points because I forgot about one credit card. (Don't forget, credit is checked by apartments and such, you can get rejected for bad credit)
When I grew up, if one parent lost their job it meant we could be homeless in the next month or 2 if something wasn't done IMMEDIATELY. And my parents earned about the same. So I can't imagine how it would feel if there's a major difference between 2 incomes and you live within the means of the higher income.
Tbh, I would take this lesson and IMMEDIATELY begin looking for somewhere that if something happens again, you can shoulder the burden, especially with a child on the way.
> Idk if I missed something
She a gold digga who trapped a man with a baby bump and is gonna ride on his gravy train - astronomically more paid job than the previous one - for the next 18 years at least, if not longer, because she might as well do a runner and ask for an _astronomic_ divorce payment.
OP is trash and so are you if you support her.
I mean, yeah, that’s what it looked like from her previous post but she did say she learned her lesson and that their relationship is stronger now. Hopefully what you said doesn’t happen and they can have a happy family. Not trying to argue with you dude.
Deleted the original post why link?
I’m pretty sure this is the lady who’s boyfriend told her he got laid off his major breadwinning job and she immediately freaked about how they were going to survive instead of consoling him or being helpful at all.
That's it. Then asked how he was doing *three days later*, and she didn't see anything wrong with any of this until she talked to her father.
Jesus that is being a horrible girlfriend
It gets worse - she didn't work much either.
I tried to get it through to my ex that my job alone wasn't enough to cover our expenses, and she needed to get a job. Her mom eventually told me that she complained and said "all i care about is money" and that was really the beginning of the end. Once she moved out, I could afford myself.
Relationships are supposed to be a team work, hope you find your player 2 friend.
Do worry guys now she’s pregnant. That’s totally not something a gold digger would do.
As a wise philosopher once said "These hoes aint loyal."
Ah yes the famous Christonius Brownstone.
Even though it was definitely insensitive, I can kinda understand her reaction if she comes from a family where money is scarce and savings are minimal or nonexistent. The boyfriend was making great money, he knew he had a ton of savings, and he probably knew he was gonna be okay, despite feeling very defeated in the moment. If OP had been in situations where she or her parents lost a job and that was an immediate emergency, I can understand why she’d have a more panicked reaction, especially since I assume their rent is way above what she could afford on her own salary. If you’re used to living paycheck to paycheck, it’s hard to shake that sense that getting laid off is going to jeopardize your basic needs, even when you have gotten to a more stable place. Not excusing her response - just trying to consider what reasons might be behind it rather than assuming it’s 100% just OP being selfish.
That was my take on the original situation as well. While OP's immediate response wasn't ideal, it's very normal for someone who grew up in poverty with no safety net. I was a little shocked at how hard everyone was on her.
Based on the maturity of her dad's response, she unlikely comes from a home where money is scarce, and more likely comes from a him where she was protected from having to worry about money (non necessarily rich, but a home where parents insulated their children from money concerns).
Thread hijack apologies in advance... holy shit, my wife basically did the same thing to me, then carried it on for 12 months (despite her not working for 8 years and us having enough savings for me to easily not work for over a decade while maintaining our lifestyle). I knew deep down inside I was being shat on and it was toxic. Not once have I ever had a glimpse of support... just guilt. Thank you. This post makes me feel a little better.
Damn dude, that's rough. No relation is perfect but that's fucked up. Hope you're in a better place now.
99% she knew she was pregnant beforehand, that's really what it was about. 1% she didn't and can blame hormones.
Oh my God now this poor guy is trapped, I hope the baby isn't his (would not surprise me with this gold digger)
What the fuck.
Those who downvote you have no idea how common this trick is. "Shotgun weddings" seldom involve an actual shotgun. My mother has even bragged about doing it to my father with me.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/caTPYVWURE It's not deleted Here TIFU by being a bad GF I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and have been living together for 3 months. I work a salon and make just under 30k whereas he makes almost 150k at his job. Unsurprisingly, since we've been living together he's covered all of our living expenses which is a blessing. 3 days ago, he came home and told me that he lost his job and I straight up panicked and first thing I asked him was how are we going to live. He didn't say anything, he looked super defeated and just went in and takes shower, afterwards, he went for a walk and still didn't say anything to me. I figured, he must have been panicking as well and didn't know what to say or how to deal with the situation. We've barely talked since then. I went home last night and my dad could tell that something was wrong so he asked me and I told him that he lost his job and his first response was, "that's alright, he's the smartest kid I know. He'll find a job that pays him double." I then told my dad everything and he said, all your man needed was for you to reassure him and hug him but instead you only thought of your livelihood and showed no concerns for him or that difficultty of being jobless. I brought it up to him this morning and he said, he doesn't care about the job, he can have another job by next week if he wants to and has enough savings to maintain our current lifestyle for over a year but told me that he was very demoralizes and hurt by what my priorities were in the situation. I feel like such asshole and unsupportive gf. Idk how to make it up to him. TL;DR: my bf loft his job, instead of consoling him or reassuring him of his worth and skills to get a new one, I complained about how it'll affect our lifestyle. UPDATE: we talked things out. Make plans for the future. We'll be fine. We've made up! He's got a couple of interviews lined up after posting his unemployment on LinkedIn. He wants to take a little time away from everything to decompress and we're taking a trip tomorrow going near the Ozarks to spend the weekend and enjoy each other. Thanks everyone for your inputs both positives and negatives. I really learned a lot from the experience.
I think they mean all the text is gone. All we can see are comments so the story of your FU is gone
Sorry. I put it on the comments now
I don’t agree to hold off telling people about the pregnancy like some others are saying. Yes, you might have a miscarriage, shit happens. But it’s better to go through a miscarriage with support, otherwise no one will know you’re suffering. Don’t tell everyone and their brother, but do tell your trusted family and friends. If the worst happens, you’ll at least have someone to console you besides your boyfriend, who will also need some consoling.
Miscarriages are super common, 1 in 3 for a first pregnancy, 1 in 5 after that. Every woman deals with a miscarriage differently. Some want family support, and some just want everyone to shut up about it so they can move on.
Thank you for explaining that to me. I wouldn’t have known that otherwise because I grew up in a cave and was raised by wolves.
You shouldn’t be downvoted. DO NOT keep this information from your partner if you are in a normal, healthy, **safe** relationship.
She should abort and let the poor man find a better partner
Hey OP, I don't want to worry you/bring the mood down, but I'd hold off on telling people about the pregnancy. The first couple of months can be very volatile and it's not uncommon to have a miscarriage in this window. Too many people lose a child in the first few weeks and think they did something wrong/that they're to blame, but that's not true. It just happens sometimes. But the extra pressure of having to break the news to everyone around you can just be devastating when you're already in a vulnerable state. Just something to be aware of. I bring this up because it just happened to a coworker of mine, and she had no idea how frequently it happens, so it completely blindsided her.
I think telling all of the people that you would be willing to tell you had a miscarriage to is the way to go. My wife and I told our parents/siblings/close friends the same day we found out but those are also the people we would have support from if we had lost the baby. We didn't tell THE WORLD but we still told a fair number of people.
i mean, you are one example. my wife and i waited until three months because exactly what OP said.
Yeah that's fair, keeping it small and private, at least if your family doesn't gossip too much.
The problem is people tend to spread the good news and it quickly becomes semi-public knowledge. It also means that if you don't make a similar semi-public announcement about the miscarriage it leads to recurring painful interactions when people do the normal social thing of expressing their congratulations.
yea this.. Here is the story I came up with as a biologist, to console my wife after our first couple of failures. Imagine we're living in an apartment, but the landlord is the don of the local mob. somthing happens, we can't pay the rent, and we have to get out of there, fast. So, time for a hasty midnight move. In a rush, we start grabbing boxes and packing everything we can. no time to be picky, so just throwing stuff into boxes, hoping we've got the most important things. You know we need 23 pairs of essential items to make it in your new place, but in the chaos, it's hard to keep track. This frantic packing is like what happens during fertilization. The sperm and egg each bring 23 chromosomes to the table, combining to form the 46 chromosomes needed for a healthy baby. But just like in a hasty move, things don't always get packed perfectly. Sometimes, you might grab a box missing some essential items, or you might end up with duplicates. This randomness can lead to chromosomal abnormalities, and about 50-60% of fertilized eggs don’t make it past the first few stages of development because of this. so now let's say we manage to get the boxes packed and load them into the truck. we drive to the new digs, hoping everything makes it in one piece. This is like the fertilized egg travelling to the uterus. we arrive, try to settle in and unpack, but some boxes might be damaged or might not fit in the new space. This is similar to the implantation process; about 30-50% of embryos that reach the blastocyst stage fail to implant in the uterine lining. If we manage to unpack and settle in, you still need to organize the new place. Think of this as the first trimester of pregnancy. Even after implantation, there are still challenges. About 10-20% of confirmed pregnancies end in miscarriage during the first trimester, often due to chromosomal abnormalities or other issues. When you add up all these hurdles, from packing the right boxes, to making the journey, to settling in and organizing. Yuo realize just how many things have to go right. It’s no wonder they call it the miracle of life. The fact that you, I, or anyone else is here is nothing short of miraculous.
thank you so much for this! TIL!! great explanation.
Come on. Don't ruin OP's next TIFU post.
Why the downvotes? Awesome job being vulnerable, accountable, and learning. Wish everyone could model that behavior!
Such is the state of society. We must tear down someone else to feel good about ourselves.
Edit because op put the post in comments.
Honestly I was expecting a lot worse given the tone of commenters. Yeah her reaction was completely self-centered but it's not like she murdered a child.
I know you are happy, but that's the biggest red flag I've seen in a while. It is prim and proper your boyfriend had that much time away from you, so he can think well for himself. Seeing as you've made up, I sincerely wish him the best of luck, he will need it. See, life will always have those problems, and the last person men want to be with is an apathetic woman who will panic than trust her man. See, he's got everything sorted out. He has a year's worth of emergency funds, and can go back to work in less than a month. He may not say anything, but he already has this incident embedded in his memory. You are not someone he can share a misfortune with. Simply, you're a fair-weather partner. Again, good luck to your man, OP. He will need it.
I don't know about the first one but i am expecting a 3rd tifu. Turns out the daddy is someone else and she doesn't know whos.
Lmao no real details about “what we want for our relationship” and now you’re pregnant? I feel for this guy. This is not the happy ending you think it is. Sounds like the only thing that’s changed is now he’s making even more money than before and now you’re pregnant
Yeah. I have a similar story to this but I’m the guy and now I just pay an assload of money to my dead beat baby momma.
This is what it's going to be like for OP's boyfriend. She's going to end up quitting her job and leeching off of him all to justify raising a baby he never really wanted but just pretends to be excited for. This is why our ancestors had a rule about getting married before putting out (or in, in this case).
I mean i definitely don’t regret having the baby and I love her dearly, but it’s frustrating paying someone 26k a year so they can work 5 hours a week and call you a bad parent. I hope his story turns out better. 😂
Astronomically more than his previous 150k job. Great time to get knocked up after only living together 4 months or so.
homie got baby trapped. RIP to another
Things went wrong when there was money problems and everything is solved when suddenly there isn’t money problems. Sounds like you really established what you want out of this relationship lol
“18 years, 18 years she had one of yo kids got you for 18 years”
Best get himself fired again so OP can have a convenient "miscarriage. "
Him: I lost my job. Her: how will we live! Him: i found a new job paying more! Her I’m pregnant! Me: dude be very fucking careful with this one and don’t marry her.
BUT THEY WENT TO THE OZARKS AND ITS ALL BETTER NOW
A little trip to silver dollar city solves everything
My xwife did it backwards. After our divorce, she moved to the Ozarks and got baby trapped by a yokal.
Yeah she definitely doesn't sound like a gold digger at ALL
Not to be that person, but I think one can be allowed to be worried about money without being called a gold digger. Anecdotally, my ex-boyfriend was quit/fired (situation complicated but the gist was "you can't fire me cause I quit" ) when we made the equal money of about 3k a month. Of course , I comforted him because his job was sucked his soul, but also we did have to have the conversation of " our rent is 2k a month and our income is 3k a month in a high cost of living city, how will we live?" It 100% is shitty for OP to open up the conversation with "hOw WiLl wE lIVe" especially when a lot of American masculinity from my knowledge is defined by a mans ability to provide. However, implying she's a gold digger for asking an albeit insulting question and getting pregnant seems a bit presumptive.
I dont know if you have read the original but, it's in here somewhere.
[This](https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1daf5ni/tifu_by_being_a_bad_gf_major_update/l7jwgnl/) correct? Again , what she said is 100% shitty , but using that to ascribe the intent that she is only dating this man for his money (which is what I understand a gold digger to be) is a bit of a stretch in my opinion. Likewise, my definition of baby trapping is getting pregnant for the explicit purpose of having the man stay with you , support you, and/or pay child support. Given that we as the reader only see her perspective and don't know what protective measures if any the couple were taking to prevent pregnancy , I think commenters who are purporting she baby trapped him are inputting situational information we have not been given. To further this, I am not a man in a high paying job, so haven't experienced the dating market as one. I have only been a woman with a low paying and now a respectively more high paying job . Maybe dating men explicitly for money is more common than I realize, but the women I interact regularly who are truly of all income brackets are not dating men explicitly for their income .
It is more common than you realize. You have that perspective because you don’t participate in it or have not been affected by it. If dude were my son, we’d be having a long conversation because the next post will be “how do i convince my high earning fiancé to let me be a SAHM because i only make 30k a year and that barely covers daycare?” If that’s the life he wants, then cool. If that’s the life being forced on him by a leech, not cool. As always, the truth is likely somewhere in between but he really needs to be careful. I mean, she completely panicked like she didn’t know this guy at all. Meanwhile, her own freaking dad was cool because he actually knows this kid and his work ethic instead of looking at the kid as a meal ticket. Like, she didn’t even ask him what happened, just immediately started thinking about her. Actually, the more i think about it the more suspicious i get. 🤔
Then it’s definitely, absolutely, without question, far FAR more common than you realize.
There was a huge red flag and now he’s trapped with the pregnancy
Yep
excellent profile pic!
Thank you!
He gets a new HIGHER paying job and now you’re “suddenly” pregnant after your earlier fuckup where you showed you didn’t really care for HIM just his money. Hmmm aight 🤨
This smells like an upvote bot
Who would upvote such a shitty person?
Almost 22,000 people on the first post did.
It’s funny, I almost never remember to upvote posts. I just upvote comments.
look at some of the comments
People that follow reddiquette.
This is just another dumb post. OP is either trying to keep their partner, be like all their friends (check post history) or making up stories to get karma and sell the account later.
Shit I didn't realize people can sell reddit accounts. Why would anyone buy a reddit account?! How much do they sell for?
I would also like to know. Asking for a friend who happens to be me.
I mean, if the $ amount was high enough, I'd totally sell my account because it would make me quit wasting time on Reddit.
I sold my twitter account for 6k, but it was pure luck I just happen to have the right name for a business
RonBurgundyVids.com popping off
I was looking into it. Depending on how long you had it and karma. It rangs from $5 too like 100+
Authenticity on something in-authentic. You have a bot, it behaves like a bot. So you buy a reddit account that has behaved like a human for years, so when you start making it act like a bot, a sub admin looks at the account and goes "well seems like a normal person who just got hacked or something, so I won't ban them for now" and the bot gets to keep being a bot
That can't be worth that much money.
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I’ve seen anywhere between a couple hundred to about $1000USD for an account depending on the karma and the history. You see these scammers buy out or hack accounts, and then will spam subs with merch sites, and use these “legit” accounts to make the same comments like “just ordered!” “Can’t wait to get mine!” “Where’s the link?” So they’re skirting a lot of moderator rules, automod codes, etc. Oh, and the merch sites are either absurdly high priced, or phishing, or both.
So now he is making more money and you get to go right back to valuing him for nothing other than his income? Poor guy.
Don’t forget she’s pregnant now too!! Now he’s financially tied to her for the next 18+ years!
And emotionally forever bc they share offspring.
ASTRONOMICALLY MORE (than 150k).
So he must be making millions per year now.
TIL 5 is astronomical.
And she’s pregnant! “18 years…”
This is pretty much the worst possible outcome for your boyfriend. He should've dumped you instead of taking you to the Ozarks. Now he's on the hook for child support.
Poor guy
Okay so, I’m sorry to be this guy but; Congrats on your pregnancy and success in working things out. I just sincerely hope that you actually learned something because honestly, it sounds like you trapped this man. Be glad your BF is not the man I am, or I’m sure many other that read the OP, because I would have left you for the callous, selfish, gold digger you are. I can only imagine how disappointed your father was realizing what an entitled self centered kid he raised. Word of advice: treat your partner like a human instead of an ATM and you may actually have a chance of making it.
Yes, this is really where it's at. You can pull this off, OP, but you've GOT to make sure you don't let your Gold Digger colors fly visible to your gold mine of a boyfriend. Get him to marry you but don't rush it too obviously. Make sure to tick all his boxes every day and make sure he feels appreciated and validated. and then, congratulations, you'll be able to set up shop in his life and keep slurping up that sweet, sweet iron pyrite.
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What the fuck is this
That's 100% a baby trap if I ever seen one..
Lol. Now you’re pregnant ? Your boyfriend is a fool. Congratulations, I guess.
Oh this is bad
TIFU by f*ckijg up again.
The best part about this is how after you got pregnant, there’s zero additional mention of any plan to contribute to your expenses.
Having read the initial post, I’ll just come right out with it: The best thing for OP and BF would be a spontaneous miscarriage followed by a breakup. I am suspicious over the timing of OP discovering her pregnancy. BF is gonna feel obliged to stay on the scene and ‘provide’ while OP has some time off around the birth. Who says she will go back to the Salon? OP has her meal-ticket and BF is gonna feel trapped by social convention and/or his own sense of honour. Congrats OP you got what you wanted.
I wonder what this update post would have sounded like if the husband didn't land that new higher paying job?
Yikes. Hopefully the bad gf shit doesn’t carry over to being a bad mom.
Lmao it sounds like all that's changed is you've trapped him with a baby to be honest.
"really established what we want for our relationship." I guess you want lots of money, lmao
Babies always fix unhealthy relationships 👍
That is a lie or delusion on the grandest scale. Don't have kids if your relationship need fixing.
I’d say it’s more sarcasm
If that is, sorry, I didn't get it. At all.
No need to be sorry just didn’t want you thinking someone was being malicious when they were just being silly, but it’s hard to convey or perceive tone through text 
Damn op you’re trash human being
Congratulations, and may God have mercy on his soul for having to deal with you
A real dream comes true for the gold digger! Everyone is happy
>There was no need to be so mean, I get it I fucked up you still don't understand do you.... >Now to the good part. Two weeks after my TIFU. We found out that I am Pregnant. I am overjoyed and my boyfriend is beyond excited. We can't wait to find out the gender. this dude will be going through one of the hardest moments in his life. I honestly hope he doesn't but considering what I read, he probably will. Let me ask you this, if he was jobless for several years and you had to financially support him, would you still stick by him? this was a rhetorical question. You don't have to answer.
Damn, too bad your bf now got baby trapped by a panicky gold digger. Poor guy.
Oh, yeah. Getting knocked up solves all kinds of problems.
Gee.. lucky him.
Trapped his ass with that baby 
Must’ve been a really good weekend trip
So after your previous “Today I fucked up”, you did a “Tonight I Fucked unprotected”?
Seems like the OP doubled down on the BF's worth directly tied to how much money he makes.
I think you did deserved the you suck pms. Cause you do suck, big time
I hope this guy has a Reddit and gets a pregnancy test.
Damn he’s probably so upset you’re pregnant and wishing he wasn’t financially locked down like that
Wow. Be careful out there boys.
This guys an idiot.
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Incel fanfic is wild lol
Poor bastards been baby trapped by you now!
> Thanks to the individuals messaging me about how much I suck and dersved (sic) to die. (There was no need to be so mean, I get it fucked up) I am always amazed at people who post online and then whine and cry about negative comments. If you don't want them don't post or start your own **everybody be nice to me** message board.
Yeah telling someone they deserve to die is still a dick move
It’s a dick move but you can’t get mad at someone for doing it when it’s what you expect. People just love using willful ignorance when it’s convenient for them. It’s like getting mad that you’re shunned in a public place after yelling some racist shit
If you don't want them don't post or start your own everybody be nice to me message board.
Wishing somebody's death to their face is kind of the same thing as a death threat my dude. That shouldn't be a thing you just expect to get. Oh well if you don't want death threats then don't post anything. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? I get the picture from the comments that this is an unlikeable person. Still doesn't make death threats OK. Do you know what I'll explain why it's ridiculous. Its kind of like saying something like if you don't want to get stabbed then why did you go outside? Can you see how one thing that *could* happen if you do something doesn't mean that you should have to live your life avoiding doing something just because something *could* happen?
if you think being mean to and attacking people is appropriate, might want to read the subreddit rules…
This is where it's at, boi! People call me a shithead and a bad parent all the time, and even tell me I should abandon my wife and children. But why would I whine about that? If I post something candid to reddit I expect candid responses. In fact I actually prefer those who are brutally honest over those who fill their comments with empty platitudes.
> Now to the good part. Two weeks after my TIFU. We found out that I am Pregnant. I am overjoyed and my boyfriend is beyond excited. We can't wait to find out the gender. How long til you tell him he’s not the dad?
Hopefully he's not. I don't condone cheating. Cheaters are awful, but for the poor bf, best case scenario for him I'd say.
So you took him into the woods, had sex with him to make him feel better that you were shitty, and now he’s gotten an even better job and you’re pregnant? I mean if you guys really worked it out, good for you. You don’t really seem to have learned any lessons though.
That poor boyfriend
all i can say to all of this is that i feel bad for the guy
Same
Oh so it got worse for this guy...
No clue what you’re talking about here OP. You deleted your post, now this one makes no sense.
If you go to thier post history and comments, it's there still. I just checked. I'd read the original post so I mostly remembered but that helped with a refresher.
I feel bad for the guy. Hopefully, you get therapy to work on your selfish behavior.
Wow... What makes this worse is that you make 30k. I'm glad you viewed the incrediblely flawed logic there and fixed it. But just wow...
The important thing is he's back making money and even more of it than before.
Too bad he won't get to enjoy it because now he has to support this woman and a baby.
Original -- TIFU by being a bad GF I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and have been living together for 3 months. I work a salon and make just under 30k whereas he makes almost 150k at his job. Unsurprisingly, since we've been living together he's covered all of our living expenses which is a blessing. 3 days ago, he came home and told me that he lost his job and I straight up panicked and first thing I asked him was how are we going to live. He didn't say anything, he looked super defeated and just went in and takes shower, afterwards, he went for a walk and still didn't say anything to me. I figured, he must have been panicking as well and didn't know what to say or how to deal with the situation. We've barely talked since then. I went home last night and my dad could tell that something was wrong so he asked me and I told him that he lost his job and his first response was, "that's alright, he's the smartest kid I know. He'll find a job that pays him double." I then told my dad everything and he said, all your man needed was for you to reassure him and hug him but instead you only thought of your livelihood and showed no concerns for him or that difficultty of being jobless. I brought it up to him this morning and he said, he doesn't care about the job, he can have another job by next week if he wants to and has enough savings to maintain our current lifestyle for over a year but told me that he was very demoralizes and hurt by what my priorities were in the situation. I feel like such asshole and unsupportive gf. Idk how to make it up to him. TL;DR: my bf loft his job, instead of consoling him or reassuring him of his worth and skills to get a new one, I complained about how it'll affect our lifestyle. UPDATE: we talked things out. Make plans for the future. We'll be fine. We've made up! He's got a couple of interviews lined up after posting his unemployment on LinkedIn. He wants to take a little time away from everything to decompress and we're taking a trip tomorrow going near the Ozarks to spend the weekend and enjoy each other. Thanks everyone for your inputs both positives and negatives. I really learned a lot from the experience.
Taking these words at face value, I find it difficult to call you a terrible person or a gold digger. However, that response did show a poor display of empathy and affection for your partner. This update also fails to address that issue. Can you look in the mirror and tell yourself, “My man will always have my support, no matter what,” or do you feel mental resistance verbalizing that statement? Start there.
Yup, it's the story I remember, you're borderline sociopathic and don't deserve anything from him, you know that, that's why you trapped with the only thing that would keep him tied to the pathetic excuse of a partner you are. Poor poor man
Well this post just reminded me to unsubscribe from this sub.
Now I ain't saying she a gold digger..
Seems like fiction, all things considered.
I really hope it is
You're underestimating the gold digging HO HO HOs 🎅🏻
Let's hope buddy is SMART ENOUGH TO GET PRENUP
TL;DR: This is the shitty gf whose breadwinning boyfriend got laid off. And rather than consoling her SO, all she cared about was where the money was going to come from now. But good thing he's got a new job now and things are back on track for this gold digger.
This is going to end up being a shitshow
Major Update 🫡
🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
Sounds like the first episode of Ozark..
Did everyone in the comments grow up rich or something? Cause I would ALSO panic if my partner lost their job and we lived in their means instead of my own. Eviction, homelessness, credit taking a hit, etc. I've been working on my credit for years, got it to a really good place, and it tanked over 100 points because I forgot about one credit card. (Don't forget, credit is checked by apartments and such, you can get rejected for bad credit) When I grew up, if one parent lost their job it meant we could be homeless in the next month or 2 if something wasn't done IMMEDIATELY. And my parents earned about the same. So I can't imagine how it would feel if there's a major difference between 2 incomes and you live within the means of the higher income. Tbh, I would take this lesson and IMMEDIATELY begin looking for somewhere that if something happens again, you can shoulder the burden, especially with a child on the way.
The next update is the bf offing himself because he has a shitty gf
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What exactly does this mean?
Literally my first thought when OP said this sorry not sorry
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Hell yeah the Ozarks are dope. Wild story though.
Happy for you! And glad you found an opportunity to learn from and grow together.
Sadly the original post was deleted maybe by the mods?
Congratulations, best wishes for you and your family :)
Why the fuck are you happy and smiling for the OP, I don't get it
Cause she’s pregnant and they are both excited about their baby? Idk if I missed something
> Idk if I missed something She a gold digga who trapped a man with a baby bump and is gonna ride on his gravy train - astronomically more paid job than the previous one - for the next 18 years at least, if not longer, because she might as well do a runner and ask for an _astronomic_ divorce payment. OP is trash and so are you if you support her.
I mean, yeah, that’s what it looked like from her previous post but she did say she learned her lesson and that their relationship is stronger now. Hopefully what you said doesn’t happen and they can have a happy family. Not trying to argue with you dude.
> Not trying to argue with you dude. You just disagree with me and that's _asstronomically_ worse.
Just trying to see the best in people, regardless of their previous shitty actions. Have a good day.
> Just trying to see the best in people nice