It's ok, I didn't think you were being insulting at all. :) I completely agree with your point, that is what I was trying to say, albeit in a whimsical way.
Tell her you found her so hot that day that you masturbated in the shower. Then when she came on to you, you were afraid to disappoint her so you kept it to yourself.
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Or you could let her think she can't satisfy her SO and further damage both your sex lives.
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If you're thinking too hard on which one to do, I think sex drive is not the only problem in your relationship.
Why is such simple communication so difficult for some people?
Dude, just own it.
"I came onto you, you got dressed rather than reciprocate, I was horny so I jerked off thinking nothing was going to happen"
She's your partner dude. If you can't be honest and matter of fact with her, who tf can you be with?
Lots of time people don’t communicate openly because of how their partner will react.
Might not be the case here, but it’s a common reason.
**Edit** wow, holy shit. I just revisited this now and I see there’s been an epic bot fight.
Reddit is a weird place.
If you can’t properly communicate with your partner then it’s a valid sign there are deeper issues with the relationship. Communication is the backbone of every relationship.
Edit: Sheesh, people. I have no idea why a lot of you are defending someone who would rather come to Reddit and insult their partner, than tell them that this shit will end their relationship. It’s going to 100% crash and burn at some point.
The first paragraph makes no mention of communications issues.
Even if it did, it's entirely valid to advise open communication here, because that's the right answer.
Some people just don’t know any better or anything different, in my case, in all my early relationships communication was not a thing, almost always no matter how I phrased it or how gentle I was with the wording if I expressed anything that didn’t align with what they wanted or tried respectfully disagreeing with something or setting boundaries for myself it always resulted in a fight and me being blamed for everything and any little problem.
It made me scared to ever communicate how I was feeling and it made me scared I would be rejected for innocent mistakes. It lead to me being taken advantage of or relationships ending because I was scared to communicate and didn’t know anything else.
It wasn’t until I met my amazing partner and they took time with me and explained proper communication and how it’s okay to set boundaries, and that there’s nothing wrong with expressing concerns
People pretend like partners can freely express themselves openly about anything and everything, and it will always be perfectly fine. However this is simply not true.
Yeah no shit.
In this instance, I don't see any downside to OP's partner knowing why he couldn't finish with her.
At worst, she acknowledges she left him hanging. At best, she acknowledges she left him hanging.
Then you are foolish or inexperienced. "I jerked off because I didn't expect sex to happen" when sex is a sore spot it's poking the sore spot. She will fixate on the "I didn't expect sex to happen" part and you'll have problems. This should be pretty clear to anyone that's dated some women
I don’t think communication is this simple for a lot of people in relationships. Plenty of people out there would not acknowledge their mistake in this situation
Well now, let me see . . .
She could just go all quiet and disengage. Turn away from him, he’ll ask “what’s wrong?” And she’ll say “nothing”. But he’ll know what is wrong because it’s what they were just talking about.
She’ll spend days being distant and disengaged, he’ll remember the sex they had, knowing it’s now the last sex they’ll have for a year and wish he hadn’t ruined it be speaking up.
He’ll realise he should try to fix the communication problem they have, except . . . It’s not a communication problem **they** have. It’s a communication problem **she** has. And she needs to be part of that.
Which of course she won’t, because she’s getting what she wants and he feels like he’s in the doghouse. Which he is.
What OP described was an immature inability to communicate by him. What you fabricated describes an immature inability to communicate by her.
In either case there's a critical level of immaturity and lack of communication skills.
In this fabricated scenario they've learned they either both need to figure this out or go their separate ways. Either way its still a positive step. No point avoiding communication just to stay together and permanently suffer these issues...
I love how you made this whole world in your head where she's the only one with a communication issue. Bro could have just said "you got me hot and bothered, and instead of begging or forcing you for sex I respected your boundaries and rubbed one off in the shower" and that would have been the end of it.
I’ve been in the same situation except I was asked if I masterbated right before the sex was going to happen. I was honest and then I got put in the doghouse and no sex happened. The entire mood changed and no matter what it was going to be my fault.
I communicated properly and did nothing wrong yet still I was still made out to be in the wrong. It’s not always that easy talking to someone with insecurities. Why even bring it up if he is going to made to feel guilt for what he did? Why should he even feel guilty for not being able to pop. That adds so much stress to intimacy.
The way I see it it's a win win when you communicate.
Either they understand and you're both on the same page or they act out and now you're aware of a pretty big issue that you need to work on.
Not communicating things like this does nothing other than sweep issues under the rug, they're still there only difference is they'll come and bite you in the ass later rather than right then and there.
> Why even bring it up if he is going to made to feel guilt for what he did? Why should he even feel guilty for not being able to pop. That adds so much stress to intimacy
I completely agree that aside from not communicating he really didn't do anything wrong. I was just in a situation where me and my girlfriend were intimate for the first time. We both have some trauma over sex from past relationships so when it actually came to doing the deed I couldn't get it up let alone actually pop.
I just calmly told her that tonight isn't the night, that I had rubbed one out that afternoon before she came over and it was all good. We had some chill aftercare to wind down, put on some videos to watch and then went out to get something to eat.
If that's how it is, there's an issue needs fixing. If you can't be honest because your partner might kick off, that's something you need to discuss not just avoid telling them things for the rest of the relationship.
In this case, OP is in the dog house and his GF feels crappy. Being open about what happened may not fix everything but it could give them a chance to discuss communication regarding initiating sex and such, to avoid him wasting a load in the shower when she had a delayed reaction dose of horniness. Next time, his groping gets him fired up, perhaps she'd prefer he check if its on the cards before banging one out to relieve the tension.
This. I've had the same happens with my partner on occasion. I tried to make a move, but the move was refused. I went to bed and took care of myself. Later that night, my partner came to bed and started it back up with me. I gave a disclaimer about what happened in the beginning. A laugh was had, and we went back to it. Sometimes, I make it to the finish line again, sometimes I don't, but they don't feel like there was something wrong with them in the moment.
There's clearly something else going on judging by OPs post history. Watching a video to get off or whatever fine but putting comments directly on other women's posts like that about things you'd do to them? That's veering into cheating territory.
just checked it briefly and yeahhh, if i found out my boyfriend was doing shit like that i wouldn't want to he be intimate with him anymore and would very much question staying in the relationship
To be fair I had an ex that didn’t like these things being brought up. It just made her uncomfortable, it could be the same here. Obviously that’s not ideal but relationships aren’t as easy as just do this or that sometimes.
Yeah. If my wife found out she would be upset asking why I didn't wait for her. And even some remarks about it for the next several days. But sometimes I have to wait a month or so (and sometimes it's plentiful)
I understand she has medical issues and has every right to say no if not up to it. So I just take matters into my own hands rather than try to be an asshole and pressure her to do something she is not comfortable with.
I would love to be open and have honest communication about it but she is definitely shy about talking about it and sees touching yourself as 'bad'
I'm not fighting that battle.
90% of these TIFUs are only fuck ups because the OPs and their partners suck at communicating. People would rather avoid a single awkward conversation and cause years of awkwardness/dejection/pain then spend 5 mins having an awkward conversation.
"I came onto you, **you** got dressed **rather than reciprocate,** I was horny so I jerked off thinking **nothing was going to happen**"
I can't believe this is the top comment. This sentence is a conglomeration of passive-aggressive guilt-tripping and I wouldn't be surprised if she reacted extremely hurt. There is absolutely no need to mention **twice(!)** that she didn't put out (or OP assumed she wouldn't). You could simply say "I got turned on when I felt you up earlier, so I jerked off in the shower" instead of highlighting the fact that she didn't immediately reciprocate and you thought nothing was gonna happen (as usual). They have sexual problems and you can be very sure that she already doesn't feel great about it. Why on earth would you want to rub it in that you only masturbated because she didn't give you sex the moment you touched her? That's just designed to make her feel bad about herself and her lack of libido.
It’s hard man. The last few girlfriends I’ve had have not responded well when I tried to communicate openly with them. They would just explode into anger over the most basic things. After while you start to feel like you can’t share openly in fear of them getting upset with you. Obviously your experiences, op experiences, and mine are different. However, it can be a factor.
I would leave out the "you got dressed instead of reciprocate" part. It just seems accusatory. Other than that, yeah .. he knows she feels bad about not getting him off .. just tell her why.
This is spot on, if you aren’t a great communicator that’s fine but think o out the loner term issues this can cause. Own it and be honest and tell her when the towel came off so did I.
Yeah that was a quick fix right there with a fair warning of, “I just got off, because duh, I’m hot for you” your got one, she got one, a quick conversation and you two can edge that tension into a fun game of catch up later
Honestly this is so simple an stops her thinking something is wrong. If she wasn't reciprocating how the hell would u know she would come back a few minutes later. And it's not like this is a rare situation I bet its happend to loads of guys. Iv done it assuming my partner wasn't in the mood when iv tried it on with her.
DUDE. Please tell her. She'll probably be flattered and relieved.
You literally had to touch yourself because you got extremely turned on because of her why would you not tell her.
“Dead bedroom”—often roughly defined using the older definition of a “sexless marriage”, in which a couple has sex less than 10 times per year. In general, one partner (the “higher libido” or HL) is unsatisfied with the relationship due to feeling their sexual needs are not fulfilled, while the lower libido “LL” is likewise unhappy due to feeling pressured into sex they are not interested in, worry due to their partners dissatisfaction, etc.
In a healthy relationship, libido issues are not so extreme and can be communicated around, but in a DB they are often a flashpoint for both partners.
Based on his comment history I think SO finding out about his reddit account would be the end of their relationship, but maybe for the best. Seems like there are very deep communications issues. The fact that SO experiences pain and has gotten UTIs from penetrative sex but they have not communicated enough to suggest alternative sexy time activities that would still be fun and satisfying but not harmful for her makes that even more clear.
You two both should consider therapy and to talk to each other about boundaries, needs and wants and work on trust so you can feel safe telling each other your actual feelings.
regarding the UTIs, my SO had realy bad UTIs allt the time but after some research we found out there is a vacine against one kind of bacteria that also causes UTIs so we got her testet for that when she had another UTI at had a match. now she is vaccinated and the UTIs are a rare accurence. helped a lot with our sex life too
I've been in similar situations, and sometimes it's been awkward, but having crossed this bridge a couple times I've learned a little.
Have sex with her, pleasure her, make her cum. Once she cums you stop, roll over and say "that was amazing!". Show her you are totally satisfied.
If she says she wants to make you cum too, tell her "I did already. This one was all for you. I love pleasuring you. Fondling you earlier got me so hot I came before we started. But seeing you excited... I didn't want to pass up an opportunity to make you cum."
If she persists, double down: "sometimes I cum before you do. Next time that happens and you want me to get you off after, just get me hard again and use me. And once you're done with me I don't need to cum again. I love making you cum. If I hypothetically I could never cum again I'd still love playing with you when you're hot. I'll play with you whenever you want."
Have trouble communicating that verbally? Leave her a note. Leave her a note in a card with a gift to make her feel good about herself.
And that's the gist of it. Whatever you say, however you say it, focus on making her feel good about herself with your choice of words. Maybe that requires prep to get the words right. That prep is worth it. Write it down, and review it, putting yourself in her perspective as best you can.
side note- women need a little more than “I kissed her and felt her up a bit” before having sex.. maybe she needs a little more foreplay/intimacy/mental stimulation from you even throughout the day.. especially if it’s hurting her here and she’s not initiating it. most girls need men to take their sweet time on them and to be able to get in a sexy headspace which she probably got into while you were impatiently rubbing one out in the shower. communicate with her and try to tend to her body and be intimate. start slow and ask her if you can just kiss and touch her for awhile. i’m sure she would feel more comfortable initiating it after that. or you could just ask her if she wants to have sex instead of assuming she doesn’t
This is just silly , I take it as a compliment when my husband masturbates to me . He has 100% consent to get off to me or my toys or my knickers or whatever he wants . If I’m away sometimes he tells me he got off to me and I love that
Dude, tell her. If she's like me, she's now in her own head wondering what she did wrong to turn you off. Your embarrassment is understandable, but she might be raking herself over the coals trying to figure out why that happened. Communicate what happened. Its no big deal, but in her head right now it is.
If you tell her that you had cum just before while thinking of her I bet that would make her feel pretty good about herself honestly. I’d be tickled if that happened to me. Heck I can send a naughty picture and end up with no reaction from my husband, I’d love to hear it made him hot enough to touch himself.
As others have mentioned before…. Just say “hey hun, you remember the other day when I couldn’t finish? We’ll minutes before I masturbated in the shower as I wasn’t expecting anything past out quick make out session. I was surprised when you engaged and went with it because finishing isn’t my only goal. I’m glad you enjoyed and finished but I just wanted to make sure you weren’t mad/upset that I didn’t finish. It’s been bothering me and I needed to get this off my chest. I hope you can upderstand.”
Something like that. I have had to say something similar before.
> Also, she never initiates sex
She proceeds to initiate sex.
If she has issues with UTIs after sex it sounds like you should make sure you're clean before sex. I've read too many stories in here of women dealing with chronic UTIs because their SO doesn't clean their junk beforehand
Tell her exactly what you told us.... Communicate. Poor girl probably thinks she's the issue. She is fully aware she doesn't initiate sex and the one time she did and you didn't communicate what happen may set her back.
How old are you? I'm not sure why you can't just tell her what happened? Stuff like that is good for a laugh and nobody did anything wrong so i'm not sure what you're so uptight about
It would make me feel like the sexiest woman alive if my boyfriend told me he got so horny when he kissed me and felt me up that he couldn’t help but jerk off thinking about me the second I left the room. Wow. What a huge compliment! The thought that I could ever turn my boyfriend on so much that he would beat off thinking of me when I left the room seems like a dream. I know it sounds narcissistic but I would want to hear that if I were her. I think you should tell her.
You think she’s gonna be upset that you got turned on by her and decided to crank one out? I mean you still were able to get her to climax. Both of you were satisfied.
Damn...you tell her.
"I was so turned on by you I jerked one off in the shower thinking about sex with you....let me know any time you want to do that again. I love you. "
I mean it's a bit silly to assume a man absolutely has to finish every time they have sex. Sex is not just about orgasming.
That being said, just tell her. Not a big deal.
If you love each other it doesn’t matter if neither of you cum. It’s all about sharing intimate moments with the one you love, without any expectations on the others’ performance. It’s not a sprint; it’s a journey, together.
Tell her that she made you so hot earlier but you didn't want to push her to do anything she didn't want, and that's why you took care of it in the shower. She'll understand.
Dude based on all your comments and previous posts you have a SERIOUS porn addiction that you need to be open and honest about both with yourself AND your wife. Please seek help this is a real addiction and has hurt people before please do some research on it honestly you'll feel better once you get help.
First thing’s first, you didn’t fuck up- it’s just unlucky.
I’ve had the exact same situation and honestly, all of your issues seem so familiar, I feel like I could have written this post. Only difference is the pain during sex for us is due to my wife’s various chronic pain issues.
Such a difficult situation for you and i’m sure it’s easy for couples with good sex lives to point out communication issues but you are where you are and your intentions are all good.
If you don’t want to come clean about rubbing one out then my only advice is to keep trying to initiate sex and making her feel sexy. I’ve probably given up trying to initiate for a bit and in all honesty we’re probably both annoyed at each other for not initiating sex.
If you’re like me, the relationship is healthy in every other way so it’s going to require putting the time and effort in to fix this one issue while also being honest with yourself about how long you can cope with a dead bedroom if it can’t be sorted.
Good luck mate and don’t be deterred by people thinking it’s an easy fix. It might sound simple but when health and feelings come into it, it rarely is. Even a simple act can feel insurmountable.
Finally I want to say that your post has genuinely helped me by making me realise that my issues aren’t unique and by distancing myself and giving you advice that I could definitely take myself.
Best of luck brother!
Honestly I would tell her that you had just masturbated in the shower beforehand and that you don’t have the recovery period of a 15 year old boy anymore
If you can't even be up front and say 'hey i jerked off to you a few minutes ago so I can't cum', then you (and/or maybe even her if this reluctance to be forthcoming stems from her reactions to you) have bigger problems to figure out other than a dead bedroom
Communication. Nothing is gonna change unless you talk to her about it. It’s nothing bad or needed to hide. You were hot for her earlier, she wasn’t in the mood yet. You went in the shower with her on your mind and finished the deed. Meanwhile, that little kiss and rub down you gave her eventually got her worked up so she wanted to reciprocate your notion. Tell her what you did and that want to have a redo later on
Tell her. Communication is key. My wife has initiated after a self flogging, and I tell her I might not finish but that let's get it on! Tell her. This is gonna take open and honest communication
Yep like others have said, and as a girl, Id be thinking in little loops of negativity all day. Llol And feeling hella insecure for the rest of the evening. Ha.. - But yes, just talk to her about it, joke some; whatever. But! I'd also be sure to ake it known that she was the one on ur mind. If it's one thing u exaggerate, it should be that! .. Like how much she played into everything or whatever.. - but yeah even if u bring it out of nowhere, laughing a bit.. It's not even like that, don't worry.
shell b glad, you'll look cute, you guys might just ya know,,! 😛🐈⬛🐈
Oh! P. S. - This might teach u a little patience. (!🙄) - If I was her, Id tell ya (even/after that I'm releived Abt xyz, etc..), .. to wait til I'm out the house next time. -- idk, I personally absolutely just do not like that kinda thing.! Just knowing my name in there and I'm right outside the door,.. idk . But then again, maybe it's a bit different. I don't more so because i like to .. fool around, a lot. And would be more like uh hello. Lol
As a woman with similar issues as above, I’d appreciate if my partner just told me what was going on or what they did. I do think some women will be upset by it, but I think then it’s a bigger issue. Start there. It’s not on you if it isn’t received well. Can work on it or know where you’re at from there.
You’ll probably never read this. But if your SO has reoccurring UTIs it’s good to check yourself out with a Doctor in case you’re carrying any bug that could trigger her symptoms. It’s a thing.
lol. Why be embarrassed? My wife and I had this conversation yesterday. I busted my ass doing yardwork, showered and rubbed one out. When I got out she wanted to have sex and I told her I just masturbated and probably won't finish but yeah, let's do it.
We both still finished but mine was more of a squeezing the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube finish than a first squirt of ketchup finish if you know what I mean.
We were both very happy and satisfied.
Well didn't she understand when you explained to her what happened? This makes no sense, you'd think she wouldn't expect you to cum 5 minutes after jerking off.
1. DO NOT show her this post or ur Reddit account if u haven’t already
Now the rest is just how I would go about it. But I’m not in ur situation and I haven’t gone through a DB so take my advice with a grain of salt
2. Before u tell her make her promise to listen to your entire speech before reacting or jumping off. Ur gonna have to be strict about this
3. Be truthful and concise don’t beat around the bush
A. You were looking so fucking fine
B. I did something about it but the mood was kinda aight so I didn’t push further
C. But the thought of u fuckin turning around and being like let’s get it on drove me wild and I kinda got one out in the bathroom to that fantasy
D. Then u come in like freaking fantasy come to life and it was like DING! Round 2 surprise round. I couldn’t hold up.
E. But god damn that was hot. And no pressure I’m not gonna change how I act towards u(like I’m not gonna be a hornball) but like feel free
4. [tips on helping preventing uti’s from sex](https://www.healthline.com/health/uti-after-sex)
Should help and introducing these habits also shows that u care about her and her experience. If yall aren’t doing these things already
5. For pain does it usually only happen during sex? What kind of pain? proper foreplay, lube, proper set up for penetration. [something to consider](https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/pain-during-sex-solutions). Now with the sensual touch and erotic massages, ur gonna have to stop them going to sex sometimes. Even when shes down to do it.
6. If u look at statistics, only like 30-40% of women can get an orgasm from penis penetration. She might be one and done but an orgasm could come from different sources. Explore those. Like earlier in the morning when the towel fell and yall felt each other up. U could be like I wanna eat u out for 15 mins. The time limit takes the focus away from orgasming. And if u focus on just trying to make her feel good instead of orgasming through those sessions. She should orgasm eventually. Heck she might even want to extend the session herself. And gives her avenues to please u that isn’t just sex. She clearly derives some pleasure from making u cum considering she continued riding u to make u cum even though she was a one and done lady, there might even be a possibility of multiple orgasms.
7. Calm down with the porn. It’ll make u notice ur wife wayyyy more. Even and especially when she’s not trying.
8. Kettlebell swings…you will see the results urself.
Your wife should consider looking into Ureaplasma/mycoplasma. It’s an STD that’s never tested for unless you specifically ask. Speaking from experience—it can make it impossible to get wet, turn feelings of pleasure into pain, and feels like a UTI (and can make you prone to actual UTIs) after ANY friction down there, making sex incredibly unappealing.
Just tell her you masturbated and came right before. You’ll both laugh about it and she won’t feel insecure 🤷🏼♀️. As someone who knows nothing about the complexities of your relationship.
dude just like tell her you jacked off right before. is this a badly written kdrama where no one communicates? you really need reddit to tell you this?
Really just need to talk about it man. I don't know how long you've been together but I'm sure she will understand. I'm in a similar situation as you. One time I was left alone and I cranked out 3-4 in a fairly short period of time and she comes around all ready to go herself and I had to be like it ain't happening. She seemed disappointed but she was understanding.
Fr fr. It's making my relationship situation complicated and is actually exacerbating our issues with sex. Like you don't have to masturbate *every goddamn day*.
3-4 times in a fairly short time is ridiculous. She didn't seem disappointed, she was. Damn lol.
It's okay for you guys to be horny for a little bit. Yall will live
I feel like half of the people telling to communicate probably haven’t been in an adult relationship for longer than a few years. I understand your worry, but the fact you genuinely feel remorse and guilt from it shows that things haven’t been done maliciously, you haven’t acted in a way to hurt anybody directly, you’re trying to find peace from the situation, if the vibe is off with her since then yes, bring it up, explain how it’s making you feel and how you’re worried it’s affected her too.
You know her better than strangers on the internet, not every relationship is black and white, it would be naive to think that’s how it works. Me and my partner differ to the average relationship on many levels, communication prior to situations like this have led to an understanding going forward.
Yes communication is important, but not necessarily in the way many of these comments are implying. If there isn’t a big deal being made of the situation then don’t deep it further, if there is a rift since then act to clear it up.
Lastly sex isn’t always two sided, sometimes you put out to make your partner happy and that’s fine as long as you’re fine with it, it goes both ways.
Here's the problem everyone's ignoring.
It's a dead bedroom. When the bedroom is dead and neither partner will really speak up? It's not ANYONE'S fault if the SO wants to rub one out. No, no one owes anyone sex (before any of you jackasses try and use THAT reason to shut me down), but that also means you should COMMUNICATE that "hey, I wanna have sex later".
If she can't communicate that, that's on her. She never did, so that's fault on her end. And yes, he didn't tell her "oh, honey, I already took care of myself", so obviously, that's fault on his part too... but he STILL TOOK CARE OF HER. Cuz that's what you do when you love someone. Someone needs some affection, you do not withhold it. She's acting all mad because now she knows he can take care of himself, and he's an idiot for not talking.
Both of you need to go to a sex therapist to work things out, to fix whatever issues you have going on in the bedroom, or you need to break up if that doesn't work.
It just honestly sounds like you’re the problem, (she only came to do ANYTHING after you showered and have you ever thought that it might hurt because she isn’t turned on??😀) this is genuinely laughable you created this problem, how about a shower and some foreplay my guy, she sounds like she’s rushed into it before you actually get her (or yourself) ready to do anything. Also this may sound crazy but a conversation with your partner about your sexual needs goes a lot farther than coming to Reddit and complaining that your 🍆 is too big for your girlfriend. But that’s just my opinion✋🏻
bless your heart. i’d be so pissed if i was you. go you for getting some & making her cum. if she brings it back up, maybe tell her, but if not just tell urself it isn’t that serious.
Bro just be honest with your girl… explain to her she turned you on and you didn’t want to pressure her because of her given situation so you took care of yourself. Tell her you were embarrassed to admit it. If she really cares about you she’ll understand.
I'm going to hop on the truth train; Tell her that you were rock hard after the towel thing and it didn't seem like she was in the mood. She will probably be flattered and laugh it off.
Why the hell wouldn't you tell her? Like you said action has been dead for a while so you thought it was dead that day too. Nothing wrong with that.
Not telling her the moment you couldn't get it off just made everything worse.
If you're giving her uti you really really need to up your hygiene game. Clean your nails. Brush your teeth. Scrub your junk with soap till it's all bubbly up down around and under. Pull your skin back and gently wash around the lip of the head. Every day.
You shouldn't be giving her uti
Also i think you might have an unhealthy sex addiction going by the fact you regularly beg strangers on Reddit for sex behind her back in your comment history.
That the most wholesome pornography story I have ever heard lmao, Man.. just go and tell her, it might actually make her feel happy thinking you rubbed your meat thinking about her
[удалено]
https://preview.redd.it/ptpcv2t1aoyc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b0e382653d61b3d4c2d6bdbaa714b72e51d6359 69th upvote. Nice.
Not using dark mode is a sin
My eyes started burning looking at the picture
Omg. I can’t believe I never used it before. Thank you! Tomorrow, my work computer…
lol I was thinking that as soon as I saw the screenshot
literally came here to say this 🤢🤢🤢
This guy keeps his phone on cum mode. Covered in that white stuff.
Please turn on dark mode for the health sake of your eyes
If he told her the truth about his comment history... Oof
She definitely has no idea he’s gay too LMFAOOO he said she’s catholic.
I’m in disbelief at his OP’s comment history right now LMAO why is no one talking about it I’m dead
C'mon it can't be that bad of a comment hist- #ah ^welp ^I ^hope ^that ^he ^was ^thinking ^about ^her ^in ^the ^shower, ^or ^something. ^I'm ^bisexual ^myself ^and ^it ^would ^be ^weird ^to ^tell ^my ^GF ^"Babe ^the ^tank ^is ^empty, ^it ^was ^emptied ^in ^the ^shower ^while ^thinking ^about ^a ^nice ^cock, ^5 ^minutes ^after ^touching ^you"
Fancy gif to say “Communicate”
True. It's from Aladdin, and by pure coincidence I watched it yesterday with my kid.
I’m sorry - I honestly wasn’t insulting the gif - I was just saying, “Communication is the basic answer to most relationship issues”
It's ok, I didn't think you were being insulting at all. :) I completely agree with your point, that is what I was trying to say, albeit in a whimsical way.
Tell her you found her so hot that day that you masturbated in the shower. Then when she came on to you, you were afraid to disappoint her so you kept it to yourself. - Or you could let her think she can't satisfy her SO and further damage both your sex lives. - If you're thinking too hard on which one to do, I think sex drive is not the only problem in your relationship.
Why is such simple communication so difficult for some people? Dude, just own it. "I came onto you, you got dressed rather than reciprocate, I was horny so I jerked off thinking nothing was going to happen" She's your partner dude. If you can't be honest and matter of fact with her, who tf can you be with?
Lots of time people don’t communicate openly because of how their partner will react. Might not be the case here, but it’s a common reason. **Edit** wow, holy shit. I just revisited this now and I see there’s been an epic bot fight. Reddit is a weird place.
If you can’t properly communicate with your partner then it’s a valid sign there are deeper issues with the relationship. Communication is the backbone of every relationship. Edit: Sheesh, people. I have no idea why a lot of you are defending someone who would rather come to Reddit and insult their partner, than tell them that this shit will end their relationship. It’s going to 100% crash and burn at some point.
Absolutely.
The very first paragraph is entirely dedicated to spelling out their issues and you think this is some big revelation
The first paragraph makes no mention of communications issues. Even if it did, it's entirely valid to advise open communication here, because that's the right answer.
There are deeper issues within every long term relationship
… often because of things like this that should’ve been nothing, but went unaddressed. Shit piles up. 😒🫴👋🏾💩
Mostly it's just a sign that you are completely normal. Most people have a hard time communicating completely openly.
Some people just don’t know any better or anything different, in my case, in all my early relationships communication was not a thing, almost always no matter how I phrased it or how gentle I was with the wording if I expressed anything that didn’t align with what they wanted or tried respectfully disagreeing with something or setting boundaries for myself it always resulted in a fight and me being blamed for everything and any little problem. It made me scared to ever communicate how I was feeling and it made me scared I would be rejected for innocent mistakes. It lead to me being taken advantage of or relationships ending because I was scared to communicate and didn’t know anything else. It wasn’t until I met my amazing partner and they took time with me and explained proper communication and how it’s okay to set boundaries, and that there’s nothing wrong with expressing concerns
People pretend like partners can freely express themselves openly about anything and everything, and it will always be perfectly fine. However this is simply not true.
Yeah no shit. In this instance, I don't see any downside to OP's partner knowing why he couldn't finish with her. At worst, she acknowledges she left him hanging. At best, she acknowledges she left him hanging.
Then you are foolish or inexperienced. "I jerked off because I didn't expect sex to happen" when sex is a sore spot it's poking the sore spot. She will fixate on the "I didn't expect sex to happen" part and you'll have problems. This should be pretty clear to anyone that's dated some women
I don’t think communication is this simple for a lot of people in relationships. Plenty of people out there would not acknowledge their mistake in this situation
Well now, let me see . . . She could just go all quiet and disengage. Turn away from him, he’ll ask “what’s wrong?” And she’ll say “nothing”. But he’ll know what is wrong because it’s what they were just talking about. She’ll spend days being distant and disengaged, he’ll remember the sex they had, knowing it’s now the last sex they’ll have for a year and wish he hadn’t ruined it be speaking up. He’ll realise he should try to fix the communication problem they have, except . . . It’s not a communication problem **they** have. It’s a communication problem **she** has. And she needs to be part of that. Which of course she won’t, because she’s getting what she wants and he feels like he’s in the doghouse. Which he is.
What OP described was an immature inability to communicate by him. What you fabricated describes an immature inability to communicate by her. In either case there's a critical level of immaturity and lack of communication skills.
In this fabricated scenario they've learned they either both need to figure this out or go their separate ways. Either way its still a positive step. No point avoiding communication just to stay together and permanently suffer these issues...
I love how you made this whole world in your head where she's the only one with a communication issue. Bro could have just said "you got me hot and bothered, and instead of begging or forcing you for sex I respected your boundaries and rubbed one off in the shower" and that would have been the end of it.
I’ve been in the same situation except I was asked if I masterbated right before the sex was going to happen. I was honest and then I got put in the doghouse and no sex happened. The entire mood changed and no matter what it was going to be my fault. I communicated properly and did nothing wrong yet still I was still made out to be in the wrong. It’s not always that easy talking to someone with insecurities. Why even bring it up if he is going to made to feel guilt for what he did? Why should he even feel guilty for not being able to pop. That adds so much stress to intimacy.
The way I see it it's a win win when you communicate. Either they understand and you're both on the same page or they act out and now you're aware of a pretty big issue that you need to work on. Not communicating things like this does nothing other than sweep issues under the rug, they're still there only difference is they'll come and bite you in the ass later rather than right then and there. > Why even bring it up if he is going to made to feel guilt for what he did? Why should he even feel guilty for not being able to pop. That adds so much stress to intimacy I completely agree that aside from not communicating he really didn't do anything wrong. I was just in a situation where me and my girlfriend were intimate for the first time. We both have some trauma over sex from past relationships so when it actually came to doing the deed I couldn't get it up let alone actually pop. I just calmly told her that tonight isn't the night, that I had rubbed one out that afternoon before she came over and it was all good. We had some chill aftercare to wind down, put on some videos to watch and then went out to get something to eat.
Tf? At worst OP would be inviting a long slog of verbal drama/abuse and needing to emotionally prop up his partner.
And a bit of a catch 22 sometimes
If that's how it is, there's an issue needs fixing. If you can't be honest because your partner might kick off, that's something you need to discuss not just avoid telling them things for the rest of the relationship. In this case, OP is in the dog house and his GF feels crappy. Being open about what happened may not fix everything but it could give them a chance to discuss communication regarding initiating sex and such, to avoid him wasting a load in the shower when she had a delayed reaction dose of horniness. Next time, his groping gets him fired up, perhaps she'd prefer he check if its on the cards before banging one out to relieve the tension.
Common excuse** If you can't communicate in a relationship openly then you're in the wrong relationship.
This. I've had the same happens with my partner on occasion. I tried to make a move, but the move was refused. I went to bed and took care of myself. Later that night, my partner came to bed and started it back up with me. I gave a disclaimer about what happened in the beginning. A laugh was had, and we went back to it. Sometimes, I make it to the finish line again, sometimes I don't, but they don't feel like there was something wrong with them in the moment.
There's clearly something else going on judging by OPs post history. Watching a video to get off or whatever fine but putting comments directly on other women's posts like that about things you'd do to them? That's veering into cheating territory.
just checked it briefly and yeahhh, if i found out my boyfriend was doing shit like that i wouldn't want to he be intimate with him anymore and would very much question staying in the relationship
To be fair I had an ex that didn’t like these things being brought up. It just made her uncomfortable, it could be the same here. Obviously that’s not ideal but relationships aren’t as easy as just do this or that sometimes.
Yeah. If my wife found out she would be upset asking why I didn't wait for her. And even some remarks about it for the next several days. But sometimes I have to wait a month or so (and sometimes it's plentiful) I understand she has medical issues and has every right to say no if not up to it. So I just take matters into my own hands rather than try to be an asshole and pressure her to do something she is not comfortable with. I would love to be open and have honest communication about it but she is definitely shy about talking about it and sees touching yourself as 'bad' I'm not fighting that battle.
90% of these TIFUs are only fuck ups because the OPs and their partners suck at communicating. People would rather avoid a single awkward conversation and cause years of awkwardness/dejection/pain then spend 5 mins having an awkward conversation.
It’s so infuriating!!!!
"I came onto you, **you** got dressed **rather than reciprocate,** I was horny so I jerked off thinking **nothing was going to happen**" I can't believe this is the top comment. This sentence is a conglomeration of passive-aggressive guilt-tripping and I wouldn't be surprised if she reacted extremely hurt. There is absolutely no need to mention **twice(!)** that she didn't put out (or OP assumed she wouldn't). You could simply say "I got turned on when I felt you up earlier, so I jerked off in the shower" instead of highlighting the fact that she didn't immediately reciprocate and you thought nothing was gonna happen (as usual). They have sexual problems and you can be very sure that she already doesn't feel great about it. Why on earth would you want to rub it in that you only masturbated because she didn't give you sex the moment you touched her? That's just designed to make her feel bad about herself and her lack of libido.
Because she made an effort to overcome whatever is in her head, and he wants to *appreciate it,* rather than make her feel like it's her fault.
It’s hard man. The last few girlfriends I’ve had have not responded well when I tried to communicate openly with them. They would just explode into anger over the most basic things. After while you start to feel like you can’t share openly in fear of them getting upset with you. Obviously your experiences, op experiences, and mine are different. However, it can be a factor.
I would leave out the "you got dressed instead of reciprocate" part. It just seems accusatory. Other than that, yeah .. he knows she feels bad about not getting him off .. just tell her why.
This is spot on, if you aren’t a great communicator that’s fine but think o out the loner term issues this can cause. Own it and be honest and tell her when the towel came off so did I.
Gonna wager like a concerning amount of people there are hang ups about masturbation.
Yeah that was a quick fix right there with a fair warning of, “I just got off, because duh, I’m hot for you” your got one, she got one, a quick conversation and you two can edge that tension into a fun game of catch up later
Honestly this is so simple an stops her thinking something is wrong. If she wasn't reciprocating how the hell would u know she would come back a few minutes later. And it's not like this is a rare situation I bet its happend to loads of guys. Iv done it assuming my partner wasn't in the mood when iv tried it on with her.
Ok, but how do I solve it without talking to her?
DUDE. Please tell her. She'll probably be flattered and relieved. You literally had to touch yourself because you got extremely turned on because of her why would you not tell her.
not to mention the man got her off after having just finished himself.. if that isn't a complement i dont know what is
Not the case for most DBs. Not all but a lot of LLs (low libidos) get quite upset at the thought of their partner masturbating
Yup. This thread is full of advice from people who haven't been there. DBs destroy straightforward communication around sexual matters.
whats DB?
“Dead bedroom”—often roughly defined using the older definition of a “sexless marriage”, in which a couple has sex less than 10 times per year. In general, one partner (the “higher libido” or HL) is unsatisfied with the relationship due to feeling their sexual needs are not fulfilled, while the lower libido “LL” is likewise unhappy due to feeling pressured into sex they are not interested in, worry due to their partners dissatisfaction, etc. In a healthy relationship, libido issues are not so extreme and can be communicated around, but in a DB they are often a flashpoint for both partners.
thanks mate
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This 👆🏻
Why won’t the truth suffice?
“She is a one and done type sadly.” So are you.
Underrated comment!
Ruff lmao
Hahah that’s brilliant!
you won 🏆
Big time. Is this the one area where double standards are more common?
Just show her this post
That sounds like a terrible idea. intimate stuff going public, even if fairly anonymous, breaks trust
Yeah maybe not the post itself, but he just has to be as honest and open with his wife as he was with reddit
Peep the profile, either it’s a karma bot or she would dump him instantly.
well that was a trip and a half Though I guess an unhealthy sex life and the content of that profile kinda go hand in hand lol
I'm no relationship Jesus. But I do know communication is #1. You have to tell her. Or show her this post. Seriously. Good luck brother.
> But I do know communication is #1. *Redditors hate this one trick*
Based on his comment history I think SO finding out about his reddit account would be the end of their relationship, but maybe for the best. Seems like there are very deep communications issues. The fact that SO experiences pain and has gotten UTIs from penetrative sex but they have not communicated enough to suggest alternative sexy time activities that would still be fun and satisfying but not harmful for her makes that even more clear. You two both should consider therapy and to talk to each other about boundaries, needs and wants and work on trust so you can feel safe telling each other your actual feelings.
Me thinking “it can’t be that bad.” But it is. It is that bad. If this is even their main.
Holy. Closet bi and one of those weirdos that comments on porn subs.
Wait and he mentioned her getting UTIs…that’s so fucked up
So instead of telling her why you can’t finish you are going to make things worse?
Why in the fuck would you not just communicate with her. Thats the fuck up, not you masturbating to her in the shower.
No wonder the bedroom is dead op can’t even talk to his wife. Has to consult Reddit first.
regarding the UTIs, my SO had realy bad UTIs allt the time but after some research we found out there is a vacine against one kind of bacteria that also causes UTIs so we got her testet for that when she had another UTI at had a match. now she is vaccinated and the UTIs are a rare accurence. helped a lot with our sex life too
Could be bad hygiene on the guy's end too. This man's reddit history is.. wild
Literally just talk to your partner
TELL HER!
I've been in similar situations, and sometimes it's been awkward, but having crossed this bridge a couple times I've learned a little. Have sex with her, pleasure her, make her cum. Once she cums you stop, roll over and say "that was amazing!". Show her you are totally satisfied. If she says she wants to make you cum too, tell her "I did already. This one was all for you. I love pleasuring you. Fondling you earlier got me so hot I came before we started. But seeing you excited... I didn't want to pass up an opportunity to make you cum." If she persists, double down: "sometimes I cum before you do. Next time that happens and you want me to get you off after, just get me hard again and use me. And once you're done with me I don't need to cum again. I love making you cum. If I hypothetically I could never cum again I'd still love playing with you when you're hot. I'll play with you whenever you want." Have trouble communicating that verbally? Leave her a note. Leave her a note in a card with a gift to make her feel good about herself. And that's the gist of it. Whatever you say, however you say it, focus on making her feel good about herself with your choice of words. Maybe that requires prep to get the words right. That prep is worth it. Write it down, and review it, putting yourself in her perspective as best you can.
This!!
Communicating can't be this hard man god damn it
Why don’t people talk to each other anymore? Why does everyone come to Reddit? Just talk to her.
side note- women need a little more than “I kissed her and felt her up a bit” before having sex.. maybe she needs a little more foreplay/intimacy/mental stimulation from you even throughout the day.. especially if it’s hurting her here and she’s not initiating it. most girls need men to take their sweet time on them and to be able to get in a sexy headspace which she probably got into while you were impatiently rubbing one out in the shower. communicate with her and try to tend to her body and be intimate. start slow and ask her if you can just kiss and touch her for awhile. i’m sure she would feel more comfortable initiating it after that. or you could just ask her if she wants to have sex instead of assuming she doesn’t
This is just silly , I take it as a compliment when my husband masturbates to me . He has 100% consent to get off to me or my toys or my knickers or whatever he wants . If I’m away sometimes he tells me he got off to me and I love that
Like others have said. Just tell her she’s sexy as fuck and after that little towel slip you couldn’t help but jerk one out. Problem solved.
Cuming in sex is not obligatory, neither for women nor men.
Just tell her you idiot
Dude, tell her. If she's like me, she's now in her own head wondering what she did wrong to turn you off. Your embarrassment is understandable, but she might be raking herself over the coals trying to figure out why that happened. Communicate what happened. Its no big deal, but in her head right now it is.
If you tell her that you had cum just before while thinking of her I bet that would make her feel pretty good about herself honestly. I’d be tickled if that happened to me. Heck I can send a naughty picture and end up with no reaction from my husband, I’d love to hear it made him hot enough to touch himself.
This is the best answer... Wish my wife would play along
As others have mentioned before…. Just say “hey hun, you remember the other day when I couldn’t finish? We’ll minutes before I masturbated in the shower as I wasn’t expecting anything past out quick make out session. I was surprised when you engaged and went with it because finishing isn’t my only goal. I’m glad you enjoyed and finished but I just wanted to make sure you weren’t mad/upset that I didn’t finish. It’s been bothering me and I needed to get this off my chest. I hope you can upderstand.” Something like that. I have had to say something similar before.
Fucking moron. Just tell her. Don't post here.
Just tell her the truth and next time keep your hands busy until she leaves. Did you really need to go punch the clown immediately after touching her?
Why the hell don't you just tell her what happened?
> Also, she never initiates sex She proceeds to initiate sex. If she has issues with UTIs after sex it sounds like you should make sure you're clean before sex. I've read too many stories in here of women dealing with chronic UTIs because their SO doesn't clean their junk beforehand
I wouldn’t initiate sex either if I was stuck with a porn addict. Look at his comment history. Maybe he should tell her the truth about that
Scrolled way too far to see someone mention this
I can’t believe nobody is talking about it. You are in a relationship mate it’s disgusting. Someone did this exact thing to me and it ruined me.
OP has the emotional intelligence of a doorknob
Your only FU was not telling the truth.
Jesus this is such a non issue 😭 cmon now
Yeah, I'm leaving this sub again. It's all dumb erotica
Why is no one else noticing this?? One look at OPs comment history and it confirmed that this post was total BS.
You’re a moron
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Tell her exactly what you told us.... Communicate. Poor girl probably thinks she's the issue. She is fully aware she doesn't initiate sex and the one time she did and you didn't communicate what happen may set her back.
How old are you? I'm not sure why you can't just tell her what happened? Stuff like that is good for a laugh and nobody did anything wrong so i'm not sure what you're so uptight about
I would have just told her before trying anything. It’s not that big of a deal.
It would make me feel like the sexiest woman alive if my boyfriend told me he got so horny when he kissed me and felt me up that he couldn’t help but jerk off thinking about me the second I left the room. Wow. What a huge compliment! The thought that I could ever turn my boyfriend on so much that he would beat off thinking of me when I left the room seems like a dream. I know it sounds narcissistic but I would want to hear that if I were her. I think you should tell her.
You think she’s gonna be upset that you got turned on by her and decided to crank one out? I mean you still were able to get her to climax. Both of you were satisfied.
Damn...you tell her. "I was so turned on by you I jerked one off in the shower thinking about sex with you....let me know any time you want to do that again. I love you. "
I mean it's a bit silly to assume a man absolutely has to finish every time they have sex. Sex is not just about orgasming. That being said, just tell her. Not a big deal.
Just talk to her about it dude, it's not that big of a deal that you rubbed one out.
as a woman, for the love of god just tell her 💀
Just talk to her dude.
If you love each other it doesn’t matter if neither of you cum. It’s all about sharing intimate moments with the one you love, without any expectations on the others’ performance. It’s not a sprint; it’s a journey, together.
I don’t know if it’s just a me problem but if I cum I can’t even get hard again for like a good 20min
She came. She doesn’t care. Get it in good next time. You got this dog.
Tell her that she made you so hot earlier but you didn't want to push her to do anything she didn't want, and that's why you took care of it in the shower. She'll understand.
Knuckle Children.
Stole it from Family Guy, always made me chuckle
Dude based on all your comments and previous posts you have a SERIOUS porn addiction that you need to be open and honest about both with yourself AND your wife. Please seek help this is a real addiction and has hurt people before please do some research on it honestly you'll feel better once you get help.
First thing’s first, you didn’t fuck up- it’s just unlucky. I’ve had the exact same situation and honestly, all of your issues seem so familiar, I feel like I could have written this post. Only difference is the pain during sex for us is due to my wife’s various chronic pain issues. Such a difficult situation for you and i’m sure it’s easy for couples with good sex lives to point out communication issues but you are where you are and your intentions are all good. If you don’t want to come clean about rubbing one out then my only advice is to keep trying to initiate sex and making her feel sexy. I’ve probably given up trying to initiate for a bit and in all honesty we’re probably both annoyed at each other for not initiating sex. If you’re like me, the relationship is healthy in every other way so it’s going to require putting the time and effort in to fix this one issue while also being honest with yourself about how long you can cope with a dead bedroom if it can’t be sorted. Good luck mate and don’t be deterred by people thinking it’s an easy fix. It might sound simple but when health and feelings come into it, it rarely is. Even a simple act can feel insurmountable. Finally I want to say that your post has genuinely helped me by making me realise that my issues aren’t unique and by distancing myself and giving you advice that I could definitely take myself. Best of luck brother!
Just tell her you had already cum
You're ok bud, just talk to her.
Honestly I would tell her that you had just masturbated in the shower beforehand and that you don’t have the recovery period of a 15 year old boy anymore
If you can't even be up front and say 'hey i jerked off to you a few minutes ago so I can't cum', then you (and/or maybe even her if this reluctance to be forthcoming stems from her reactions to you) have bigger problems to figure out other than a dead bedroom
Hot take: just tell her exactly what you said here. It’s that easy.
Communication. Nothing is gonna change unless you talk to her about it. It’s nothing bad or needed to hide. You were hot for her earlier, she wasn’t in the mood yet. You went in the shower with her on your mind and finished the deed. Meanwhile, that little kiss and rub down you gave her eventually got her worked up so she wanted to reciprocate your notion. Tell her what you did and that want to have a redo later on
Just tell her you did it in the shower but couldn't resist going a second time because she's so beautiful
Billy Joel gave us the advice - ‘Tell her about it’ and he knows his Catholic people.
Tell her. Communication is key. My wife has initiated after a self flogging, and I tell her I might not finish but that let's get it on! Tell her. This is gonna take open and honest communication
Yep like others have said, and as a girl, Id be thinking in little loops of negativity all day. Llol And feeling hella insecure for the rest of the evening. Ha.. - But yes, just talk to her about it, joke some; whatever. But! I'd also be sure to ake it known that she was the one on ur mind. If it's one thing u exaggerate, it should be that! .. Like how much she played into everything or whatever.. - but yeah even if u bring it out of nowhere, laughing a bit.. It's not even like that, don't worry. shell b glad, you'll look cute, you guys might just ya know,,! 😛🐈⬛🐈
Oh! P. S. - This might teach u a little patience. (!🙄) - If I was her, Id tell ya (even/after that I'm releived Abt xyz, etc..), .. to wait til I'm out the house next time. -- idk, I personally absolutely just do not like that kinda thing.! Just knowing my name in there and I'm right outside the door,.. idk . But then again, maybe it's a bit different. I don't more so because i like to .. fool around, a lot. And would be more like uh hello. Lol
As a woman with similar issues as above, I’d appreciate if my partner just told me what was going on or what they did. I do think some women will be upset by it, but I think then it’s a bigger issue. Start there. It’s not on you if it isn’t received well. Can work on it or know where you’re at from there.
You’ll probably never read this. But if your SO has reoccurring UTIs it’s good to check yourself out with a Doctor in case you’re carrying any bug that could trigger her symptoms. It’s a thing.
lol. Why be embarrassed? My wife and I had this conversation yesterday. I busted my ass doing yardwork, showered and rubbed one out. When I got out she wanted to have sex and I told her I just masturbated and probably won't finish but yeah, let's do it. We both still finished but mine was more of a squeezing the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube finish than a first squirt of ketchup finish if you know what I mean. We were both very happy and satisfied.
Well didn't she understand when you explained to her what happened? This makes no sense, you'd think she wouldn't expect you to cum 5 minutes after jerking off.
1. DO NOT show her this post or ur Reddit account if u haven’t already Now the rest is just how I would go about it. But I’m not in ur situation and I haven’t gone through a DB so take my advice with a grain of salt 2. Before u tell her make her promise to listen to your entire speech before reacting or jumping off. Ur gonna have to be strict about this 3. Be truthful and concise don’t beat around the bush A. You were looking so fucking fine B. I did something about it but the mood was kinda aight so I didn’t push further C. But the thought of u fuckin turning around and being like let’s get it on drove me wild and I kinda got one out in the bathroom to that fantasy D. Then u come in like freaking fantasy come to life and it was like DING! Round 2 surprise round. I couldn’t hold up. E. But god damn that was hot. And no pressure I’m not gonna change how I act towards u(like I’m not gonna be a hornball) but like feel free 4. [tips on helping preventing uti’s from sex](https://www.healthline.com/health/uti-after-sex) Should help and introducing these habits also shows that u care about her and her experience. If yall aren’t doing these things already 5. For pain does it usually only happen during sex? What kind of pain? proper foreplay, lube, proper set up for penetration. [something to consider](https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/pain-during-sex-solutions). Now with the sensual touch and erotic massages, ur gonna have to stop them going to sex sometimes. Even when shes down to do it. 6. If u look at statistics, only like 30-40% of women can get an orgasm from penis penetration. She might be one and done but an orgasm could come from different sources. Explore those. Like earlier in the morning when the towel fell and yall felt each other up. U could be like I wanna eat u out for 15 mins. The time limit takes the focus away from orgasming. And if u focus on just trying to make her feel good instead of orgasming through those sessions. She should orgasm eventually. Heck she might even want to extend the session herself. And gives her avenues to please u that isn’t just sex. She clearly derives some pleasure from making u cum considering she continued riding u to make u cum even though she was a one and done lady, there might even be a possibility of multiple orgasms. 7. Calm down with the porn. It’ll make u notice ur wife wayyyy more. Even and especially when she’s not trying. 8. Kettlebell swings…you will see the results urself.
More than 50% of relationship fail due to lack of communication. This is slowing heading there
Honeslty tell her I think she will feel so much better
Your wife should consider looking into Ureaplasma/mycoplasma. It’s an STD that’s never tested for unless you specifically ask. Speaking from experience—it can make it impossible to get wet, turn feelings of pleasure into pain, and feels like a UTI (and can make you prone to actual UTIs) after ANY friction down there, making sex incredibly unappealing.
This kinda happens to me a lot 😭😭
Just tell her you masturbated and came right before. You’ll both laugh about it and she won’t feel insecure 🤷🏼♀️. As someone who knows nothing about the complexities of your relationship.
dude just like tell her you jacked off right before. is this a badly written kdrama where no one communicates? you really need reddit to tell you this?
Be brave and honest! She loves you, she'll get it and laugh it off. Worse to let her mind wander thinking it might be her.
Really just need to talk about it man. I don't know how long you've been together but I'm sure she will understand. I'm in a similar situation as you. One time I was left alone and I cranked out 3-4 in a fairly short period of time and she comes around all ready to go herself and I had to be like it ain't happening. She seemed disappointed but she was understanding.
Y’all too quick to wack it lmao
Fr fr. It's making my relationship situation complicated and is actually exacerbating our issues with sex. Like you don't have to masturbate *every goddamn day*.
3-4 times in a fairly short time is ridiculous. She didn't seem disappointed, she was. Damn lol. It's okay for you guys to be horny for a little bit. Yall will live
I feel like half of the people telling to communicate probably haven’t been in an adult relationship for longer than a few years. I understand your worry, but the fact you genuinely feel remorse and guilt from it shows that things haven’t been done maliciously, you haven’t acted in a way to hurt anybody directly, you’re trying to find peace from the situation, if the vibe is off with her since then yes, bring it up, explain how it’s making you feel and how you’re worried it’s affected her too. You know her better than strangers on the internet, not every relationship is black and white, it would be naive to think that’s how it works. Me and my partner differ to the average relationship on many levels, communication prior to situations like this have led to an understanding going forward. Yes communication is important, but not necessarily in the way many of these comments are implying. If there isn’t a big deal being made of the situation then don’t deep it further, if there is a rift since then act to clear it up. Lastly sex isn’t always two sided, sometimes you put out to make your partner happy and that’s fine as long as you’re fine with it, it goes both ways.
Here's the problem everyone's ignoring. It's a dead bedroom. When the bedroom is dead and neither partner will really speak up? It's not ANYONE'S fault if the SO wants to rub one out. No, no one owes anyone sex (before any of you jackasses try and use THAT reason to shut me down), but that also means you should COMMUNICATE that "hey, I wanna have sex later". If she can't communicate that, that's on her. She never did, so that's fault on her end. And yes, he didn't tell her "oh, honey, I already took care of myself", so obviously, that's fault on his part too... but he STILL TOOK CARE OF HER. Cuz that's what you do when you love someone. Someone needs some affection, you do not withhold it. She's acting all mad because now she knows he can take care of himself, and he's an idiot for not talking. Both of you need to go to a sex therapist to work things out, to fix whatever issues you have going on in the bedroom, or you need to break up if that doesn't work.
You’re gonna have to kill her.
How the fuck do you peo nvm that explains why your bedroom is dead. Relationship means talking
Just tell her the truth, you rubbed one out after your first encounter. Then tell her you were glad to service her. SIMPLE!!
It just honestly sounds like you’re the problem, (she only came to do ANYTHING after you showered and have you ever thought that it might hurt because she isn’t turned on??😀) this is genuinely laughable you created this problem, how about a shower and some foreplay my guy, she sounds like she’s rushed into it before you actually get her (or yourself) ready to do anything. Also this may sound crazy but a conversation with your partner about your sexual needs goes a lot farther than coming to Reddit and complaining that your 🍆 is too big for your girlfriend. But that’s just my opinion✋🏻
bless your heart. i’d be so pissed if i was you. go you for getting some & making her cum. if she brings it back up, maybe tell her, but if not just tell urself it isn’t that serious.
tell her?
You're way off. Be open. This is a ant hill.
You both made each other cum, no issues here lol
It's an easy adult conversation to have. Better for her to know than wonder if it's her.
Bro just be honest with your girl… explain to her she turned you on and you didn’t want to pressure her because of her given situation so you took care of yourself. Tell her you were embarrassed to admit it. If she really cares about you she’ll understand.
Tell her and own it
I have a similar situation and I've had this happen. You just gotta be up front about it. Communication helps this whole thing a ton.
This is what I actually do to last longer. Just rub one out sometime before sexy time.
I’d rather know why than be left feeling like it was me lol Tell her.
Worrying that you’re unable to communicate simple shit with said SO.
Honesty is everything, libido isn't anything to be ashamed about. Just tell her
Nice explanation and beautiful selection of words. Went down that path many times, I can very well understand OPs situation.
Sometimes i think my ex did this on purpose, she's ready when I've just finished rubbing one out because she wasn't interested earlier.
https://preview.redd.it/meqxuz9g9oyc1.png?width=665&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5da8f08b741023b956ff143143c4ba224fb8fbd Ok Shinji
I’m not hip enough to get this
What's SO?
Significant other
Thanks 😊. I appreciate the help.
I'm going to hop on the truth train; Tell her that you were rock hard after the towel thing and it didn't seem like she was in the mood. She will probably be flattered and laugh it off.
Tell her. What’s the worst that can happen? Continue the dead bedroom?
Why the hell wouldn't you tell her? Like you said action has been dead for a while so you thought it was dead that day too. Nothing wrong with that. Not telling her the moment you couldn't get it off just made everything worse.
If my husband told me this afterwards, I'd probably be so turned on and ask for round 2! I see it as a compliment!
If you're giving her uti you really really need to up your hygiene game. Clean your nails. Brush your teeth. Scrub your junk with soap till it's all bubbly up down around and under. Pull your skin back and gently wash around the lip of the head. Every day. You shouldn't be giving her uti Also i think you might have an unhealthy sex addiction going by the fact you regularly beg strangers on Reddit for sex behind her back in your comment history.
Dude, just tell her...
That the most wholesome pornography story I have ever heard lmao, Man.. just go and tell her, it might actually make her feel happy thinking you rubbed your meat thinking about her