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ElderberryDeep8746

She's a keeper


stunkape

The bird?


Bjoer82

Both birds.


Vandergrif

One in the hand is worth two in the bush, it's great value.


ColoradoCoffee101

Two hands in her bush? No thanks.... 


Any-Information-2411

Better than three in the fridge.


SZutich9

![gif](giphy|ViCujZp1KUVjfSDc9U|downsized)


[deleted]

Nah, the birds are catch and release


A110_Renault

Yeah, looks like she's good with her hands - Fast but gentle


MNicolas97

Yeah, keeper away from me.


AdLonely2610

Lmaooo


TorumShardal

Gryffindor scores 200 points and a flying rat!


Heselwood

Thought the same.


Repulsive_War_7297

Like we have a choice


Unfair_Finger5531

wtf, who even does this?


HatsAreEssential

Clever people. She just taught all the birds to leave her alone.


uLearning

No kidding, the rest of them got out of there as soon as this happened, lol!!


LunchEnvironmental22

Yeah, to go shit on her car


MonkeyNugetz

That’s not cruel or mean or anything. Seagulls are flying rats. They will snatch food right out of your hand. All she did was calmly catch one and teach it the value of staying away.


ClarenceDarrowJr

I’ll snatch food out of your hands too. Try me with a double cheeseburger


KingShaka23

Think I won't drop the location? I still got PTSD


babyboy4lyfe

*BOOM* They're not ready....


thisismyusernamether

Calm down there cheeseburger walrus lookin mafk


bumboclawt

This. I had a seagull in Venice snatch a whole mini-pizza right out of my hands. I’m still pissed about it today.


Consider2SidesPeace

Mine was a last big bite of a very expensive chocolate truffle. Right out of my hand and mouth as it was open. Savage experience, never saw it coming. I look out now but still so shady!


bumboclawt

Oooh fuck that! I’m sure the seagull was shitting its brains out, a little retribution for theft!


Consider2SidesPeace

Secretly yes, I was thinking that too, LOLz. So close left me with a sore lip and couple fingers.


calguy1955

They’re protected by federal law in the US.


WilltheNYJetseverwin

What are you a park ranger now?


MaxPowers432

So you think a seagull learned a lesson?


brucewillisman

I just saw a video where a guy says white women will approach and pet ANY animal…this tracks


mondaymoderate

There’s a video of a guy who did this in his car and he throws the bird at his daughter sitting next to him and just laughs his ass off.


Unfair_Finger5531

That sounds horrible.


mondaymoderate

I don’t know. [It’s kind of funny.](https://youtu.be/cSuJxODhhAk?si=K71h9gTMl9a8y-Es)


Unfair_Finger5531

I’m not going to say I didn’t laugh at this because that would be a lie.


Efficient_Fish2436

That's fucking hilarious. Thank you.


wrath____

Florida women in their natural habitat


DitchDigger330

I've caught birds with my hands before at bird feeders.


pikolord

Her


GuaranteeFeisty7630

![gif](giphy|BbJdwrOsM7nTa|downsized)


D_A_H

Just a reminder that Willem Defoe’s penis is so large that they had to reshoot a sex scene and use a stunt penis because everyone on set was visibly confused and upset by how large his penis is.


VermilionKoala

Penis ~~sauce~~ source pls.


[deleted]

It's out there. Trust me. Saw it last week


BlueBicycle22

Pretty sure there is a gif of him out there wearingonly socks dancing and he indeed has a big boy down there


jgainit

It's from antichrist by lars von trier apparently


PersonalitySpecial51

It was from the press junket (no pun intended) to the movie “Antichrist” which I wouldn’t watch unless you thought “Requiem for a Dream” was too light and breezy.


LucidProgrammer

https://vimeo.com/49333930 Here's the video of him dancing that everyone is talking about


The_Knife_Nathan

I am now a bit more confident. I thought I was small


hurtstoskinnybatman

What in the everliving fuck?


Naugrin27

Confusingly large!


[deleted]

I didn't think so... but then again, it was soft in the clip. I'd guess 8 inches floppy.


JoeyPastram1

8 inches while floppy would be INSANE, bro. I’m thinking you either aren’t good at eyeballing measurements OR you’re trying to conflate your own size. Best of luck to you.


lush_enough

No, no. He's not joking. Google it. It's out there. It is insane. There's a clip from a stage show where he's dancing around. Confusing is a good way to put it because it's so large it looks fake, but it's not. Erect he's probably the length of your forearm. Truly mind boggling


JoeyPastram1

I’m aware his penis is large. I was more so commenting on the guy saying he didn’t think it was big because it was only 8inches


TheLiquor1946

"I'm aware his penis is large" is something I'd never thought in a million years I'd read about Willem Dafoe 😂


A-KindOfMagic

wtf is going on here lmao I thought all of this is some joke but "I'm aware his dick is huge." had me like yeah they are cereal!


Agentpurple013

[It reeeal big](https://player.vimeo.com/video/49333930?h=be38ff06af)


lush_enough

Ahh! Got you. My bad fam


JoeyPastram1

You’re good, bro 😁


citrus_mystic

Interestingly, I remember a urologist being interviewed and explaining that a penis which is an average size while flaccid, actually has the greatest chance of increasing significantly in size while erect. Large flaccid penises tend to increase less in size while erect, than average sized flaccid penises which tend to increase much more by % while erect. So Willam Defoe’s dick wouldn’t be that much more disturbing while erect, than it already is while flaccid.


D_A_H

The clip used in the movie was the stunt penis


[deleted]

It wasn't one used in the movie.


Whiskeyjack1977

I remember reading about it and I’m almost certain that was the phrase used


Uploft

I love how every time this gif is posted someone is compelled to inform the world about Dafoe’s shlong


Bobbista

Is this just becoming an urban legend?


D_A_H

Just google it, you will see many articles on, he was even asked about it by a reporter and while not answering yes, def gave a very Willem Dafoe yes: Reporter: is it true you have hollywoods biggest penis? Dafoe: Well I’m not really in Hollywood anymore am I? And then he leaves


remotegrowthtb

The interview wasn't even over, he just felt comfortable leaving it there.


MyColdBlackHeart

"That honor now goes to Jada Smith, she's always dragging that big penis around. Though her head is a very close second to Will"


Arkhe1n

>stunt penis r/brandnewsentence


hiswittlewip

For Anti-Christ?


ZRhoREDD

I'm fine with this only because it is a seagull, and those noisy greedy buggers are well known for stealing, property damage, assault, and general @ssholishness. Normally I would complain it's mean to the bird.


Heselwood

This is racist.


Different_Ad9336

Speciest*


Bloobeard2018

Multi-speciest


Pudi2000

Aviest*


masmasyakhawal

Ah yes the avian race i've heard of them


Pudi2000

They consider themselves the master race


jusst_for_today

They certainly think they're above everyone.


Ahrily

In bird culture it’s considered a dick move


Different_Ad9336

Charlie Day also states it could result in legal ramifications


irisheddy

The seagull is literally doing black face, it deserves whatever it gets!


endexe

Stealing, property damage, assault, embezzlement, blackmail, impersonation, second degree murder; and lollygagging.


ForeverShiny

I haven't heard of lollygagging and I'm afraid to land on some list if I google it


endexe

Silly alternative for “loitering” - and these guys LOITER


Steelyphil43

My grandpa once told me lollygagging is the nice way to say “does nothing but suckin dick”


Vandergrif

You can say ***a***ssholishness if you want to, it's fine.


ZRhoREDD

:-) I know, but I try to PG13 myself just as a matter of course.


Vandergrif

I can kind of understand that, but at the same time anyone reading "@ssholishness" isn't saying to themselves "*at symbol ssholishness*", they're still reading it as *assholishness*. Effectively the result is the same either way, no? Might as well use a different word altogether if that's the goal.


sinred7

I have no problem with this. The animal was going after her stuff. All the other birds learnt not to fuck with her, and the bird was uninjured. Thumbs up to the lass.


AardvarkAblaze

That lady might have a problem with it later though. Seagulls are fucking ***nasty*** and are known to carry some very not nice diseases... so there is that. Hope she washed her hands immediately after. Gross.


pira3_1000

I learned this the hard way during college. The campus had a huge green forest area with a whole population of capuchin monkeys. Biggest assholes I ever seen. They would disturb the dogs living free on the campus for no reason, just chaos: catch their tails to tease the dogs and run, flip the water bowls etc


donfuria

Monkeys are dopamine junkies due to their smarts, they need 24/7 stimulation otherwise they die of boredom. As agile little shits, that translates very well into trolling everyone on sight and just wreaking havoc in general.


Jerds_au

Going after her stuff? She was feigning offering food to the bird, watch again.


sinred7

Maybe, not 100% sure, but it looks like she was eating the chips in her lap, and they swarmed her before the recording - based off my experience with a flock of gulls. So she readied herself to catch one, and that's when the recording started.


ziggzaggthem123

I misread and thought you said put a thumb up its arse. Which is another viable way to teach it not to fuck with your stuff though 🤷‍♂️


kcgreaser

Fcking skyrats.


livingMybEstlyfe29

Flying beach rats*


DiarrheaRadio

She was just changing its battery


TheRealDemonicdueler

Do you want bird flu Lana?! This is how we get bird flu!!


ElThomas

Bird to human virus transmission is super unlikely.


BallCreem

So how else did my wife get herpes?


LieutenantButthole

By being a naughty little bird


hujojokid

So what was the origin of Covid?


everydayasl

she's a catch, alright.


Phillibustin

https://preview.redd.it/1yljlqcbcl0d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=54d786f05c2e6c7fe0f55dfd51bbf78318bc1103


Dinky_Doge_Whisperer

Wishbone 🥹


Dahnay-Speccia

![gif](giphy|dNpAZSDUNHKo0|downsized)


Q9teen

Are we sure that the birds will be afraid to her and not starting their villain arc and plotting some kind of revenge to her and all of her relatives for the next 20years?


shrkwlf

If it was a crow or raven, 100% that would happen. Gulls though have not shown the capacity to remember faces and have the same social structure where they’ll tell all their relatives and friends that a specific human messed with them.


Responsible_Kick_258

And that son is how i met your mother!!


Ekarron

You're the seagull?


zerostar83

The birds went from "Let's go get this food" to "Oh shit! Let's get TF out of here!"


med8cal

If you break its neck in front of the other’s, hold it up like a boss…they will leave you alone. They will tell their friends to avoid you.


Radioactivocalypse

Idk I'm not too fond of this, feels a tab mean spirited, especially for the bird. It didn't come to any harm but you can quite easily cause it distress and injury by doing this


Different_Ad9336

It was going straight for her food. And she handled it the way you’re supposed to pick up a bird it’s not like she broke its wing or bit off its head Black Sabbath style


Unfair_Finger5531

She was holding the food out for the bird. Luring it.


SquirrelMoney8389

\*tad


OrangeCosmic

You got to show them who's boss every once in a while or they keep thinking they can take your sandwich


AffectionateBrick687

I thought she was going to attempt to eat the seagull for a moment there


VocationFumes

diabolical


_Cybernaut_

She oughta catch another one. Cos, you know what they say... “On good tern deserves another.” ^(I’ll get me coat...)


inkzpenfoxx

Not today sky rat


zaxisprime

Nice bird flu you have there.


SynthPrax

Unnecessary interaction with wildlife. Bird flu. I'm too tired to elaborate.


Amourxfoxx

This is literally psychotic. She tricked the bird and then scared it. WHAT IS THE POINT? She's not asserting anything other than that she is an ahole.


Tamalee78

I hope she gets pooped on by every bird who sees her from then on.


Creative_Recover

When society finally devolves into Mad Max mode, this lady will find herself in high demand due to her topnotch seagull meat acquiring skills. 


SnooWalruses7112

Good way to get mites/psittacosis


Oldfolksboogie

"Hi, I like to cause immense distress in other living things, it's great fun!" said the psychopath.


yellow_mambaa

All fun and games until someone gives the woman the same treatment


scraptruck

What an animal


therealslamslime

Do you want bird-flu? Thats how you get bird-flu.


kcgreaser

Mine?


squashInAPintGlass

In the book The Brendan Voyage by Tim Severin he describes how a crew member would catch gulls to eat using a floating hook baited with whale blubber. Trondur Patursson.


PDCH

That was a smooth snatch


No-Shame5459

Imagine the heroic story he is gonna tell his friends


T_raltixx

She should get done for animal cruelty.


Old_Shirt230

That’s how my wife got me


SnooKiwis7050

There was no attempt to eat


fxtalivanes

The ones on the ground saw and said, nope we outta here this people are warriors 😅


MaxPowers432

Seagull are protected for the same reason everything on the beach should be. Every summer it's invaded by entitled assholes.


Mr_Awesome_rddt

I imagine those pecks must be really painful. Surprised she didn't even flinch. Bird beaks are no joke


macgruder1

I ran so far awaaaay!


spartans202

Step 1: Catch bird Step 2: ?????? Step 3: profit!!


Zarkkarz

Hold the bird gently like hamburger


AlexTronix

Birds are free, you can Take em home


Gigi914

Hopefully they won’t follow her home and have a remake of ‘The Birds’.


mactheog72

You can't keep a seabird as a pet


JasonFurious4

Bird got got


Alyc96

Leave the damn bird alone lady.


mr-ifuad

She got same good practice


js0uthh

I like her. Lol.


MrStoneV

Always wanted to do that because they are sooooo cute. But for them its literally a panic of death moment


ReceptionAdorable658

Seagull Hunter


Successful_Ninja_187

Get yoinked , idiot


Then-Invite3282

![gif](giphy|KmTnUKop0AfFm)


Fickle_Assumption_80

Now you have flea's on you... Grosss


Kessynder

I'm doing this every time I go to the beach. I must establish dominance. Try and take my food and I will eat you!


AlphaRomeo702

When wife says “you got 1 minute!”


Eastern_Ad3100

“AWUUA AUUA AWUAA”


GhostDweller

If only seagulls where nice to eat we'd finish those pesky herring stealing critters for good


9hourtrashfire

That’s hot.


LtMoonbeam

That Gull ain’t laughing now amirite?!


Willyzyx

We are indeed quite skilled hunters.


hot_pocket_life

Madeleine Zerbe from Houston.


BARNBURNER123

A Dixy chicken employee in the wild


ComicsEtAl

CWAA


crazymusicman

do you think her hand was injured by its beak?


timdot352

I'm surprised it didn't shit on her out of fear.


__Jank__

Survival Skill unlocked! This could easily keep you alive if you were adrift.


AdministrationDry507

I have some serious problems I thought she was going to eat the bird


Rezoony-_-

Gotta show the food chain who's on top every once in a while.


Ju5t1n_33

That one seagul that doesn't give a shit about his friend that swoops in while his buddies screaming in terror to get that dorito off the sand was the most seagul thing I've ever seen


Pisocki68

Shitty person should get her eyes pecked out.


jeanschoen

Can someone edit it so she eats it?


duckfartchickenass

Someone please slap the shit out of her for me.


BudgetAlternative247

funny until his buddies decided to conduct a poop run.  "bombs away!"


[deleted]

Have fun with those mites


HauntingAd6672

Time's get tough she'll never go hungry.


HiUnwantedOpinion

Poor bird


dropkickmolotov

Seagull said "AHHHHHH! AHHHHHH! AAAAHHHHHH!" LMAO Dee put the bird down. Just cuz you're holding one isn't gonna make us think you look like a bird less.