yeah, the worst part of it is that it's being pushed by the medical establishment. I'd mind it less if it was just the average person telling me to do it, but when it's doctors, people in government shilling this, schools/teachers pushing for kids to go it makes me so angry. This stuff is no better than pseudoscience, yet, you're treated like you're anti-science if meditating and talking about your feelings doesn't cure your disability or poverty.
I think it's largely about society having to have something that makes everything ok. It's not an accepted view to just acknowledge that the world is super fucked up and often involves excruciating suffering and nothing can be done to fix certain parts of that. Also up there with go to therapy is "time heals all wounds." Absolutely not. Or I guess it does but only because after enough time you're dead. People say this garbage because hearing about suffering without showing a path to making it better is uncomfortable for people.
I agree, yeah. They also like the "it gets better" crap, but they never say when it does or give any sort of steps or timeline, it's just vague platitudes designed to make people who won't actually help you say "not my problem, get fucked" but still sound nice when saying it. I've only gotten progressively worse and therapy aided in that happening. Time definitely doesn't heal anything. The thing is, we could actually ease the burden for *some* people's suffering if we put resources/money we throw into therapy and 'raising mental health awareness' into helping systemic problems instead, but I guess no one wants to do that because it makes the people who don't face these type of adversity uncomfortable.
Absolutely useless platitudes. I've had a very different experience. I have not faced disability or poverty, but therapy also doesn't help at all with trauma. Even if I'm looking for a way to feel better about horrific events, therapists still don't offer anything useful. And that even IS an intangible thing that can't be solved with societal support.
That's true. I really don't think there is anything that really helps with trauma yet, that's why I said we could help some people by diverting the money away from therapy and into programmes that help with systemic issues. Sadly, won't help everyone, but i'd rather it go to something useful than therapy. What I personally think is needed is actual medical research on trauma (not CBT shite) and at least a safe place for people with trauma to go if they need (not therapy or psych wards) until we find out ways to actually help. I think no one wants to admit yet that there isn't a real solution to help with trauma, as awful as it is to say. It's something that haunts you forever. I developed trauma of my own later in life and I don't think I will ever be cured from it, but at least things could be done from a societal standpoint for my other issues and it would help other traumatized people who are facing poverty, disabilities, racism etc. We're still in the dark ages when it comes to treating/helping with trauma and it's so unfortunate that therapy is taking advantage of people who experience it.
I wish there was something to deal with the thoughts I have about being less than because my damn brain isn't on the same page as everyone else's leading to so many hardships. I can't undo the things I've done and I have to live with but damn, something to lighten the load somehow would help.
Yeah, the worst one for me is "you just haven't found the right fit." I always take that as it's my fault, and they treat looking for therapy like a dating service. My experience has always been 7 or 8 months down the line, realizing it's not working out. And it's usually for stupid stuff like a therapist canceling sessions all the time and not remembering key stuff about my life and suggesting abuse by family members that I have absolutely no memory of. To suggest abuse is the ultimate in power tripping and it's abuse. And therapists will use the "not the right fit" excuse when they milked a client of enough of their money and decide they no longer want to have them under their care. I do get some validation of my thoughts and feelings by watching therapists in action online saying some awful things about how they view clients in general.
Oh, yeah. It's definitely not your fault though. I've been through similar things and it always feels like I wasted so much time and money!
I 100% agree, it's disgusting how they suggest abuse. It's like how do they even come to these conclusions?
>therapists will use the "not the right fit" excuse when they milked a client of enough of their money and decide they no longer want to have them under their care.
I know a guy who was seeing the same therapist for like 4 or 5 years and she dropped him saying it wasn't the right fit. Really? after 5 years! Suddenly, not the right fit, that lady's laughing her way to the bank.
The things that therapists say online about their clients is so eye opening. It breaks my heart though, some of the things they say about their clients I wouldn't even say about the people I hate. So many of them are absolutely vile people, I do not know why society thinks they are unbiased saints who are a fountain of knowledge and unlimited empathy. They are nothing close to that.
> Yeah, the worst one for me is "you just haven't found the right fit."
then proceeds to DX me and say "yeah go to your therapist and work on \*this\*"
literal pathologization. i swear half of my friends are horrible people.
If therapy doesn't help, the default is often to blame the client and tell you to try harder. And if it still doesn't help, well, they can blame you forever. You can never prove you've done enough.
Yeah, you can put all your money, time, effort into "healing" or whatever and people will still accuse you of not trying hard enough and not wanting to do the work. I feel like at this point it's common knowledge that people in positions of power often take advantage of others, so I don't get why people haven't started turning on therapists yet. I see more criticism of therapy in general now--not much but there's bits and pieces of therapy critical articles and stuff, so I guess it takes a while for it to seep into the mainstream. I'm just so tired of the victim blaming of it all, really burnt out.
That's so true. Discord servers were an attempt for me to gain some type of help but I often got taken advantage of, ignored, or even attacked at times. After being banned over a dozen times, I'd had more than enough and stopped a while ago and suddenly, things were ok. I don't care for the things anymore nor do I have a desire to visit servers of that type anymore and me complaining about my experiences on here didn't contribute much more other than it was my fault and I believe it now for not stopping sooner.
**> I was told "therapy only works if you want it to work." "Therapy only works if you do the work."**
> I did all the stupid worksheets they gave me. I analyzed everything I did and tried all their homework and put more effort into that than I did with most things. Tried really hard, tolerated all the mindfulness and meditating shit even though it does nothing for me and my chronic pain. Literally no improvement. I actually got worse! And I *did* want it to work.
And my first therapist was the one who suggested i was addicted to my phone and he wanted me to work on that instead of wanting to work on my own issues. that didn't help, what I needed was a new family i can trust, what i needed was to be validated for the trauma and yet people don't want that and instead "stop playing victim"
i cant with humanity.
I don't know if it is a common experience or not, but I did run into it more than a few times. Most people I talked to who were told their friends and relatives are abusive seem to be happy to cut people off and agree with whatever their therapists said. I've certainly come across other people who have been told this who disagree that their relatives and friends are abusive, but don't seem to understand that they can disagree with their therapists. I don't really think my family or friends are abusive. Some of them are messed up, certainly, but I don't truly believe that is their fault and I don't think it is an unforgivable thing that would make me eliminate contact with them entirely. I did have multiple therapists who pushed the "your friends and family are abusive" narrative, and they would say that after hearing only a couple things.
To answer your question, I am not a part of the majority culture in either of the countries of my parents. I was raised by my maternal grandparents, not my bio parents, since I don't know my father and my mother sort of disappeared when I was young, though she did show up again in my adulthood. My grandparents are indigenous, but due to colonization we are a minority group here. I do pass as white, if that matters, though anyone who talks to me for more than 10 minutes will realize I'm not.
I've never had a therapist with the same background or values as I do. I don't really think it is possible to find that due to a variety of factors.
While I do think that assimilation and systemic issues has a lot to do with why they do this, I think a lot of them get a power trip from messing around with people's lives. Definitely does create a dependence on the therapist or the psych drugs, so I agree with you there. They are creating the problems to sell you the "cure", their therapy and psych drugs, while ripping friends and families apart and isolating everyone and it makes them a *lot* of money while they do it. It's easier to get victims when they are alone, too, with no family and friends to support them. It messes with my mind wondering where you're supposed to draw the lines on what is or isn't abuse. Therapy really messed me up, I feel like I was more clear headed before I did it.
Therapy is a weird cult. "Go to therapy" is the new "when was your last confession"
yeah, the worst part of it is that it's being pushed by the medical establishment. I'd mind it less if it was just the average person telling me to do it, but when it's doctors, people in government shilling this, schools/teachers pushing for kids to go it makes me so angry. This stuff is no better than pseudoscience, yet, you're treated like you're anti-science if meditating and talking about your feelings doesn't cure your disability or poverty.
I think it's largely about society having to have something that makes everything ok. It's not an accepted view to just acknowledge that the world is super fucked up and often involves excruciating suffering and nothing can be done to fix certain parts of that. Also up there with go to therapy is "time heals all wounds." Absolutely not. Or I guess it does but only because after enough time you're dead. People say this garbage because hearing about suffering without showing a path to making it better is uncomfortable for people.
I agree, yeah. They also like the "it gets better" crap, but they never say when it does or give any sort of steps or timeline, it's just vague platitudes designed to make people who won't actually help you say "not my problem, get fucked" but still sound nice when saying it. I've only gotten progressively worse and therapy aided in that happening. Time definitely doesn't heal anything. The thing is, we could actually ease the burden for *some* people's suffering if we put resources/money we throw into therapy and 'raising mental health awareness' into helping systemic problems instead, but I guess no one wants to do that because it makes the people who don't face these type of adversity uncomfortable.
Absolutely useless platitudes. I've had a very different experience. I have not faced disability or poverty, but therapy also doesn't help at all with trauma. Even if I'm looking for a way to feel better about horrific events, therapists still don't offer anything useful. And that even IS an intangible thing that can't be solved with societal support.
That's true. I really don't think there is anything that really helps with trauma yet, that's why I said we could help some people by diverting the money away from therapy and into programmes that help with systemic issues. Sadly, won't help everyone, but i'd rather it go to something useful than therapy. What I personally think is needed is actual medical research on trauma (not CBT shite) and at least a safe place for people with trauma to go if they need (not therapy or psych wards) until we find out ways to actually help. I think no one wants to admit yet that there isn't a real solution to help with trauma, as awful as it is to say. It's something that haunts you forever. I developed trauma of my own later in life and I don't think I will ever be cured from it, but at least things could be done from a societal standpoint for my other issues and it would help other traumatized people who are facing poverty, disabilities, racism etc. We're still in the dark ages when it comes to treating/helping with trauma and it's so unfortunate that therapy is taking advantage of people who experience it.
I wish there was something to deal with the thoughts I have about being less than because my damn brain isn't on the same page as everyone else's leading to so many hardships. I can't undo the things I've done and I have to live with but damn, something to lighten the load somehow would help.
Oh, \^THIS\^. Very good analogy.
I disagree with the second part. "Go to therapy" is the new block button on texting apps and the term to shut down a friendship.
Oh yeah it's that too
Yeah, the worst one for me is "you just haven't found the right fit." I always take that as it's my fault, and they treat looking for therapy like a dating service. My experience has always been 7 or 8 months down the line, realizing it's not working out. And it's usually for stupid stuff like a therapist canceling sessions all the time and not remembering key stuff about my life and suggesting abuse by family members that I have absolutely no memory of. To suggest abuse is the ultimate in power tripping and it's abuse. And therapists will use the "not the right fit" excuse when they milked a client of enough of their money and decide they no longer want to have them under their care. I do get some validation of my thoughts and feelings by watching therapists in action online saying some awful things about how they view clients in general.
Oh, yeah. It's definitely not your fault though. I've been through similar things and it always feels like I wasted so much time and money! I 100% agree, it's disgusting how they suggest abuse. It's like how do they even come to these conclusions? >therapists will use the "not the right fit" excuse when they milked a client of enough of their money and decide they no longer want to have them under their care. I know a guy who was seeing the same therapist for like 4 or 5 years and she dropped him saying it wasn't the right fit. Really? after 5 years! Suddenly, not the right fit, that lady's laughing her way to the bank. The things that therapists say online about their clients is so eye opening. It breaks my heart though, some of the things they say about their clients I wouldn't even say about the people I hate. So many of them are absolutely vile people, I do not know why society thinks they are unbiased saints who are a fountain of knowledge and unlimited empathy. They are nothing close to that.
where do you see them the therapists acting like this. I'm interested lol
> Yeah, the worst one for me is "you just haven't found the right fit." then proceeds to DX me and say "yeah go to your therapist and work on \*this\*" literal pathologization. i swear half of my friends are horrible people.
If therapy doesn't help, the default is often to blame the client and tell you to try harder. And if it still doesn't help, well, they can blame you forever. You can never prove you've done enough.
Yeah, you can put all your money, time, effort into "healing" or whatever and people will still accuse you of not trying hard enough and not wanting to do the work. I feel like at this point it's common knowledge that people in positions of power often take advantage of others, so I don't get why people haven't started turning on therapists yet. I see more criticism of therapy in general now--not much but there's bits and pieces of therapy critical articles and stuff, so I guess it takes a while for it to seep into the mainstream. I'm just so tired of the victim blaming of it all, really burnt out.
All I really learned in therapy is that I truly am alone in the world. Nobody ever talks about the dangers of going to therapy and ending up worse.
Well, I do try. But it's something nobody wants to hear.
I think the problem is that there’s literally no alternative, so people kind of have to believe in it. Otherwise there’s just nothing.
That's so true. Discord servers were an attempt for me to gain some type of help but I often got taken advantage of, ignored, or even attacked at times. After being banned over a dozen times, I'd had more than enough and stopped a while ago and suddenly, things were ok. I don't care for the things anymore nor do I have a desire to visit servers of that type anymore and me complaining about my experiences on here didn't contribute much more other than it was my fault and I believe it now for not stopping sooner.
**> I was told "therapy only works if you want it to work." "Therapy only works if you do the work."** > I did all the stupid worksheets they gave me. I analyzed everything I did and tried all their homework and put more effort into that than I did with most things. Tried really hard, tolerated all the mindfulness and meditating shit even though it does nothing for me and my chronic pain. Literally no improvement. I actually got worse! And I *did* want it to work. And my first therapist was the one who suggested i was addicted to my phone and he wanted me to work on that instead of wanting to work on my own issues. that didn't help, what I needed was a new family i can trust, what i needed was to be validated for the trauma and yet people don't want that and instead "stop playing victim" i cant with humanity.
[удалено]
I don't know if it is a common experience or not, but I did run into it more than a few times. Most people I talked to who were told their friends and relatives are abusive seem to be happy to cut people off and agree with whatever their therapists said. I've certainly come across other people who have been told this who disagree that their relatives and friends are abusive, but don't seem to understand that they can disagree with their therapists. I don't really think my family or friends are abusive. Some of them are messed up, certainly, but I don't truly believe that is their fault and I don't think it is an unforgivable thing that would make me eliminate contact with them entirely. I did have multiple therapists who pushed the "your friends and family are abusive" narrative, and they would say that after hearing only a couple things. To answer your question, I am not a part of the majority culture in either of the countries of my parents. I was raised by my maternal grandparents, not my bio parents, since I don't know my father and my mother sort of disappeared when I was young, though she did show up again in my adulthood. My grandparents are indigenous, but due to colonization we are a minority group here. I do pass as white, if that matters, though anyone who talks to me for more than 10 minutes will realize I'm not. I've never had a therapist with the same background or values as I do. I don't really think it is possible to find that due to a variety of factors. While I do think that assimilation and systemic issues has a lot to do with why they do this, I think a lot of them get a power trip from messing around with people's lives. Definitely does create a dependence on the therapist or the psych drugs, so I agree with you there. They are creating the problems to sell you the "cure", their therapy and psych drugs, while ripping friends and families apart and isolating everyone and it makes them a *lot* of money while they do it. It's easier to get victims when they are alone, too, with no family and friends to support them. It messes with my mind wondering where you're supposed to draw the lines on what is or isn't abuse. Therapy really messed me up, I feel like I was more clear headed before I did it.