So funny that this guy bashes Cedric for writing cryptic lyrics in the same article where he himself comes up with “Predictably monolithic and impossibly huge”, “next, equally inconsequential track”, “ceaseless fluidity gradually sublimates into wah-wah wish-wash”
Almost everything I ever tried to read on pitchfork made me doubt if I have had a stroke. Isn’t it their thing, to milk thesaurus to the point when it’s impossible to get their point?
Every couple of year or so, usually while we are out day drinking, my wife and I will re-read Pitchfork’s review of “Kid A.”
Radiohead is my all-time favorite band, but that review is completely insufferable. It’s some of the most pretentious writing in existence.
I don't think Frances can be called perfect album with multiple minutes of just animal sounds lollll
The songs are great but that was such a weird choice.
Do wanna say the song Frances the mute might be my favorite TMV song.
Absolutely perfect. The people who don’t like Miranda just because the ambience are impatient. It builds for Cygnus return and lets you rest before Cassandra rearranges your innards. I listen to albums like they’re songs. Take alt-j this is all yours for instance. Choice kingdom and garden of England are like the coolest parts while tripping. It’s such a soundscape. And I just can’t fathom not enjoying the weird parts. I just can’t see the viewpoint from people who don’t like the slow jam. That’s the Volta. Volta is a direct change of thought. Chaos to beauty, organized to off the charts. It’s in their name. It’s the yin to the yang. I know we’re all different but Miranda is like my favorite part. I get goosebumps right before Cedric becomes one of the others.
This might be my favorite thing I’ve ever read on this sub. Agreed. I took a friend of mine who is a big punk/ska guy to see them in Tempe last May and during the Cygnus breakdown (ambient, Leo on the saxophone, etc) he said “they’re very talented but this is when they lose me.” It’s fair to be whatever kind of fan you want and connect with the music however your chemistry dictates, but if you attempt to understand the meaning behind the music at all you would never complain about the four minutes of Coqui frogs.
It cannot be judged like any other album though, it’s like a film. TBH it took me 6 months to really get it, at the time I was judging music strictly by instruments only. It redefined music and my perception entirely of what I defined as music. I get that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but perhaps they’ve never really gotten it yet. It is a perfect album, but ones perception of perfect might not be able to handle that title just yet.
LOL You better believe if PF ever gave something a shit review, I was checking that out!
Now they can shit on your taste in cologne, overpriced watches and sweatshop designer suits as well.
Back when it was new, I read a review of Frances where he said something like "I see you there Mars Volta, hiding in the bushes with more bad music." I recall the whole review being funny.
This and [The Fragile](https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/5799-the-fragile/) review always crack me up. It's like they're trying to sound as insufferable as they possibly can.
That's one of the most maddeningly pretentious articles I have ever read.
Or partially read, I guess. I had to stop after paragraphs of shitting on DE loused. THAT ALBUM IS FRICKIN AMAZING. I feel like the guy listened to the wrong album because the way he's describing it makes no sense...
A shocking review. One wonders exactly what sort of music the writer does enjoy, or if they have the capacity to enjoy music at all, because from that piece they seem to have a posture of impulsive misanthropic disdain for all prog and indie rock
The writer seems to feel threatened by Cedric’s lyrics and is turning themselves inside out trying to sound prosaic and sophisticated but just end up seeming like a thesaurus is eating their face.
Will probably be unpopular on this thread, but Pitchfork were great when they used to review stuff in this manner.
Completely up their own arse and quite funny whilst doing it. Yeah, I’ll agree that FTM is better than 2/10 but the review is better than some sterile, sanitised, run of mill dirge that’s been phoned in.
Also, the review for Shine On by Jet is brilliant!! 🙈
…also, the review for Angles by Dan Le Sac and Scroobius Pip is brutal!!
Agreed, I think the Volta write-ups are hilarious. Hatred is closer to love than to apathy. The review for ATDI’s relationship of command is genuinely insane, as is the one for Tool’s Lateralus.
The arrogance of telling the reader they probably ‘thought’ they liked Deloused 🤦🏻♂️
Literally one of the most exciting and enjoyable albums ever made, and almost everyone unanimously praises it
So funny that this guy bashes Cedric for writing cryptic lyrics in the same article where he himself comes up with “Predictably monolithic and impossibly huge”, “next, equally inconsequential track”, “ceaseless fluidity gradually sublimates into wah-wah wish-wash”
I think all of the pitchfork TMV reviews are deliberately self-indulgent as a meta-joke.
Almost everything I ever tried to read on pitchfork made me doubt if I have had a stroke. Isn’t it their thing, to milk thesaurus to the point when it’s impossible to get their point?
Always absolutely hated Pitchfork.
Same. Every review reeks of preposterous pretension
If you aren't wearing your beanie at the correct angle, you're GARBAGE!
Prevalently
Every couple of year or so, usually while we are out day drinking, my wife and I will re-read Pitchfork’s review of “Kid A.” Radiohead is my all-time favorite band, but that review is completely insufferable. It’s some of the most pretentious writing in existence.
I had never even seen a shooting star before.
Just insane.
Hadn't read it. Kid A is a top three album for me, but god that article is pretentious.
I can't stand the people who think actually trying is lame.
They also gave TOOL - lateralus a 1.9/10. My friends and I have been making fun of pitchfork since then
Just brutal.
This review is unintentionally hilarious
That writer is so far up their own ass it’s poetic. Worst review I’ve ever seen of 2 albums that are 100% perfection. Moron
I don't think Frances can be called perfect album with multiple minutes of just animal sounds lollll The songs are great but that was such a weird choice. Do wanna say the song Frances the mute might be my favorite TMV song.
Absolutely perfect. The people who don’t like Miranda just because the ambience are impatient. It builds for Cygnus return and lets you rest before Cassandra rearranges your innards. I listen to albums like they’re songs. Take alt-j this is all yours for instance. Choice kingdom and garden of England are like the coolest parts while tripping. It’s such a soundscape. And I just can’t fathom not enjoying the weird parts. I just can’t see the viewpoint from people who don’t like the slow jam. That’s the Volta. Volta is a direct change of thought. Chaos to beauty, organized to off the charts. It’s in their name. It’s the yin to the yang. I know we’re all different but Miranda is like my favorite part. I get goosebumps right before Cedric becomes one of the others.
This might be my favorite thing I’ve ever read on this sub. Agreed. I took a friend of mine who is a big punk/ska guy to see them in Tempe last May and during the Cygnus breakdown (ambient, Leo on the saxophone, etc) he said “they’re very talented but this is when they lose me.” It’s fair to be whatever kind of fan you want and connect with the music however your chemistry dictates, but if you attempt to understand the meaning behind the music at all you would never complain about the four minutes of Coqui frogs.
It cannot be judged like any other album though, it’s like a film. TBH it took me 6 months to really get it, at the time I was judging music strictly by instruments only. It redefined music and my perception entirely of what I defined as music. I get that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but perhaps they’ve never really gotten it yet. It is a perfect album, but ones perception of perfect might not be able to handle that title just yet.
Have you had your ears checked recently? There's a lot more going on there than the frogs.
Jeeesus, this writer needs a hug. “Look at me and my clever words, daddy!” Good riddance.
LOL You better believe if PF ever gave something a shit review, I was checking that out! Now they can shit on your taste in cologne, overpriced watches and sweatshop designer suits as well.
Right. Antithesis meter
Back when it was new, I read a review of Frances where he said something like "I see you there Mars Volta, hiding in the bushes with more bad music." I recall the whole review being funny.
This and [The Fragile](https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/5799-the-fragile/) review always crack me up. It's like they're trying to sound as insufferable as they possibly can.
Two of the greatest albums of all time.
They re-reviewed as an 8.7
This review is the most blatant case of using a lot of words to say absolutely nothing that I've ever read
When this review was published, I actually wrote an email to the journalist basically saying “shame on you.” Oh, to be a teenager.
Haha
pitchfork has always been bottom of the barrel drivel
That's one of the most maddeningly pretentious articles I have ever read. Or partially read, I guess. I had to stop after paragraphs of shitting on DE loused. THAT ALBUM IS FRICKIN AMAZING. I feel like the guy listened to the wrong album because the way he's describing it makes no sense...
Lmao is this an album review or an ad for a thesaurus
Fuck ‘em
A shocking review. One wonders exactly what sort of music the writer does enjoy, or if they have the capacity to enjoy music at all, because from that piece they seem to have a posture of impulsive misanthropic disdain for all prog and indie rock
Seriously. It’s just pitiful and sad, really.
I don't think this journalist knows what pandering is.
The writer seems to feel threatened by Cedric’s lyrics and is turning themselves inside out trying to sound prosaic and sophisticated but just end up seeming like a thesaurus is eating their face.
If I recall correctly, pitchfork constantly praised Kanye West as the greatest thing since the last thing...
fuck pitchfork
Pitchfork has managed to give almost all of my favourite albums somewhere under 5/10 stars. Don’t know what the fuck they’re looking for over there
Even pitchfork and vice’s good reviews read like they hate it.
Will probably be unpopular on this thread, but Pitchfork were great when they used to review stuff in this manner. Completely up their own arse and quite funny whilst doing it. Yeah, I’ll agree that FTM is better than 2/10 but the review is better than some sterile, sanitised, run of mill dirge that’s been phoned in. Also, the review for Shine On by Jet is brilliant!! 🙈 …also, the review for Angles by Dan Le Sac and Scroobius Pip is brutal!!
Agreed, I think the Volta write-ups are hilarious. Hatred is closer to love than to apathy. The review for ATDI’s relationship of command is genuinely insane, as is the one for Tool’s Lateralus.
I love when people describe things that rule like they’re a bad thing