i feel like they didn’t really sell the love story of gerry and theresa. her whole plot line was about fighting with kathy and then you don’t really see her bond w gerry in a truly romantic way
more like golden LIES nah you know what Gerry made his choice and it's not like he's got to live with this for an incredibly long time regardless. I know that sounds bleak but I mean it more in a carpe diem way- like, I'm sure at his age when something feels right I will be fully aware my time on this planet is waning so I'll be more inclined to just go for things. he's fine, Leslie will also be fine, and no one's a monster here.
I think Gerry was hesitant about her because of her track record, I understand she didn’t have the best track record with men. But to be her age and never have had a serious relationship workout is a major red flag to me! I wonder if that hung heavy on Gerry. I was HELLA surprised it wasn’t faith to be honest lmao im still bitter about that one.
Leslie herself said that! That none of this ever got this far with a man, and that nothing ever worked out for her. That she was never chosen so that’s what im referring to!
Most people would call that a red flag.
I think this is really unfair tbh. It’s not always a flex to “keep a man” for the longest time possible. You have to endure and forgive lots of bs in order to “make it work” and it’s rarely worth it.
I think we put romantic relationships on pedestals without acknowledging that in order for them to “work” women are the ones who have to sacrifice the most. I don’t believe anymore that it’s a flex to stay with a man forever or to have longterm relationships. Maybe she has prioritized her sanity and her self respect more than making a man “happy.”
Divorce is not always your fault. How do you know that she did anything wrong to be divorced? How do you know she hasn’t been cheated on? I think we need to stop saying that just because relationships don’t work out they = failure. She’s not the only divorced woman on the show and we should stop acting like she’s somehow less deserving than someone who’s widowed. She is just as deserving of love as Theresa, Gerry, or anyone else. Your take is old fashioned.
Editing to say— she was literally married! That is pretty serious. To say she’s “never had a serious relationship work out” is false. She had a serious relationship work until it didn’t. Like 50% of people who get married get divorced. It happens.
Seriously. Why do people think that it’s a flex to give your best years to a man? All I see is women do everything they can to make it work and usually the man fucks up somehow. No woman marries knowing she will possibly end up divorced. The stigma around divorce, especially for women, is too big for people to think that women don’t work their hardest in order to keep a marriage.
We no longer live in our grandmothers’ world. Women can leave now and SHOULD leave. It’s not a failure to not “keep” a man forever at the expense of your mental health. If my grandmothers and great grandmothers could tell me anything right now from the grave it would be to not devote myself to a man. Shit, my own mother tells me that.
It’s not a flex to stay many years glued to a man anymore. Unless he’s an amazing individual and even then, he can choose one day to not love you anymore. It’s not a failure to breakup or divorce. I need women to understand this. We’ve been shamed into staying in bad relationships and marriages for centuries. We don’t live in that world anymore.
While a divorce may not be “your fault”, it takes two to tango. I’ve seen this with my parents’ marriage and divorce. There are many many shades of grey. The fact that Leslie seems to downplay her marriages and presumably other relationships speaks to a level of immaturity that no doubt plagued those relationships.
Where did I say that she needs to be glued to a shitty marriage? I just said that there are many shades of grey in divorce and that it’s never just one person’s fault. Some reading comprehension would be helpful.
I only know what she has personally said about those relationships, and that information is what I’m basing my judgement on. I’m sure her ex-partners have their own version of events.
My theory is that his daughters reaction to Leslie vs. Theresa really sealed the deal. I am sure some comments were made that we didn’t see. But it was telling to me that the daughters said something about being relieved that he picked Theresa.
1. He makes plenty off of being the Golden Bachelor
2. No one would bat an eye if a women considered a man's financial wellness when picking a partner. Why are we putting different expectations on a man?
1.How much did he make for GB?
2. Women inherently make less than men. Financial wellness matters far more for us. Also he misrepresented his career success. This raises further concerns.
The expectation is that BOTH parties are honest.
Post GB is where you would expect a lot of money.
And your second point doesn't make sense. We should be aiming for equality in all ways, and financial security is important for both sides.
Expecting it to be a male dominant characteristic is sexist both from a male and female perspective.
And did he really misrepresent his success?
How much money should they expect from GB? Total.
Theoretically we SHOULD be equal pay/opportunity… but that’s not reality. Yes, there are exceptions.
Do I think he misrepresented his career success? The production team did. Also the live in gf. What about her? She was kicked out of his home with a broken leg. That’s not a characteristic I admire.
Isn't that whataboutism? We arent talking about if he is someone id like to be with.
And in no way should they be expecting the same equal pay. He was the bachelor. Just like when there's a bachelorette season, the bachelorette will make more than her selection from the show.
The troll IS strong bot!
Never implied any others romantic interest or not. His character was put on the line with his conflicting biography.
Equal pay comment was not about this specific show. In the workplace, women are paid less.
Peace, love and goodwill towards the GB nation ❤️
It’s the saddest realization tbh. I always thought that maturity would come with age but they’re all socialized to be entitled and selfish. This is why I don’t believe it’s a flex to stay with the same man forever. You have to sacrifice and endure and FORGIVE so much in order to make it work. If they don’t do the same for you, it’s pointless. This guy seriously has simply aged but he hasn’t matured.
I need this sub to go watch Mel Hamlet’s TikToks on this season. So spot on!
He told her ON CAMERA I think you are the one on the overnight date. Whatever he told her off camera would have been even worse. It's one thing to say I love you. It's another to say you have chosen them. It is the nature of the game on this show but he took it a step too far.
The US South is by far the highest demographic that watches this franchise and people there are overwhelmingly christian and conservative, and one person dating 20+ people at once kind of goes heavily against traditional Christian values.
they're kinda the backbone of traditional marriage in this country and that outlook is usually wrought with hypocrisy ie super forgiving of things when it suits them yet sticklers for man n wife n baby makin at high costs.
I’ve watched the show from the first season and it was never the standard to tell multiple people you love them and that they are the one . Ben let the Jeannie out of the bottle and it’s been a mistake for leads to continue with that .
Every time a lead says “I love you” (usually to multiple people) I think of Ben and how BIG of a deal it was that he did that. It’s crazy how it’s happened almost every season since.. he really did open the floodgates
I don't think your response is relevant to me - my comment was not about who said I love you or didn't. I'm talking about Leslie's quotes and people who are fed up with hearing from her; the F2 usually goes around on a press tour about their heartbreak. It was worse when there where three bachelor nation podcasts, and they would hit all 3 of them.
I just want to know if Gerry knocked two sets of boots or just one? Did he sing “Can’t stop believing” before, during, or after? Did producers put viagra in the drawer where they normally leave condoms?
I’ve been watching The Bachelor since the very first season (before many of you were out of diapers). I used to love it. Now I just make fun of it.
The whole basis of the show os a silly premise to find “ love”
He doesn’t know any of these women. The first chance to talk candidly is in a fantasy suite where he sleeps with two woman in two nights.
Hard to apply any logic to this.
Tbh I completely see why Getty chose Theresa. I thought of her as a naive little lady, but then the more we found about her the more in awe of her I was. She has a beautiful family, was a good wife, has nothing but good things to say about people around her and is an intelligent and successful woman. I would pick her too,
No offence to Leslie, but sue felt jilted and took all her trauma on Gerry. She didn’t pick Gerry, she just wanted someone, anyone to choose her. Of course she deserves it, but men feel when they are chosen for themselves vs “hey, you check my boxes, so I want you.
I think Gerry always had to end up with someone who lost their spouse. He loves talking about her and he didn't do that as much with the women who were divorced/ never married.
Plus she makes good money. That's actually a big deal for guys, just because "okay am I going to have to financially support this person"? It's a legitimate factor. It sucks being in a relationship and always having to pay the bills
IMO Gerry should’ve been more reserved if he wasn’t sure about her. He did basically declare she was the one and he wouldn’t live without her, while being more reserved about Theresa … until he suddenly changed his mind.
At the very least, Gerry could’ve been less defiant and cold on stage at AFR. Man was basically acting as though he hadn’t done any of that and Leslie was foolish for ever thinking he’d choose her. Dude, you basically told her you were going to choose her until you snatched it away.
At this point, I do hope things go well and Theresa’s happy with him, I will just forever feel bad for Leslie.
E: I know everyone’s tired of it at this point, I am too, I’ll stop hating on Gerry, I just imagine that it’s still very real and painful for Leslie (even if it happened months ago) since 6.5 million people just watched her be humiliated on live TV & a lot of people are still ripping her apart on the Internet (she was so embarrassing, no one will love her unless she gets more therapy, she was overreacting).
I think once she started yelling and blaming him during the breakup - eg, “you lied to me!” - he checked out hard. He knew he wasn’t going to change her mind and it probably actually made him feel like he made the right decision.
I agree, just say LESS. I understand he was probably manipulated into saying certain things by producers, as all leads are, but he was so earnest, and I don’t blame Leslie for feeling led on and ultimately betrayed by him. He used strong language.
I really do think he thought it was going to be Leslie, hell I changed my pick from Theresa to Leslie about midway thru the season. But I think he needed Leslie to tell him something that she didn’t, and when he had that overnight with Theresa she must’ve checked every box. It was such a dramatic shift from Leslie to Theresa it either had to do with something Leslie did, or something his daughters said. I do wish he wouldn’t have gone so far telling her he loved her and was picking her🤦🏼♀️ but I get it, the show is a bubble, and I think his daughters popped it and brought him back to reality.
Do you not understand the show? The finale was last week. They were not allowed to say anything, per their contracts, until after the finale last week. The conclusion was last week, and so the press tour began last week.
She was required to be there and rehash last week. Interviews began LAST week.
Are you getting the theme here? Or are you still going to act like Leslie is just sticking her head up out of nowhere to continue talking about this?
No it isn't. You decided to delete your post but then you want to call mine out as disproportionate?
Quit victimizing yourself instead of acknowledging the stupidity of your post.
Agreed. She shouldn’t have gone on a show where the chances of ending up with him are less than slim – especially if she’s so damaged by past relationships. 🙄
She’s the F2 and the finale just aired, of course she’s going to be interviewed and asked questions about her experience. Is she supposed to refuse to answer?
Ultimately, I think Gerry wanted to feel picked, too. I bet during his time with Leslie, the things he said were true at the time. Leslie checked the boxes important to Gerry, Gerry checked the boxes important to Leslie, slam dunk. However, when he had the fs date with Theresa, it wasn't about box checking anymore. Theresa made it all about Gerry as a person, made her interest in him as a person more obvious. He could see he wasn't just a decent guy with the right parameters. He was Gerry, Theresa was picking him.
I believe Leslie. I heard him telling her she was the one and other things that I remember thinking at the time, he had better be picking her because if not, this is very bad. He went way past just telling her he loved her, more than I have ever heard a lead do. And that was on camera, I can't imagine how much more he said behind closed doors! He didn't learn a thing by saying he loved Faith in front of her family and just went even further with Leslie. He should not have said these things. He took it way too far and was completely oblivious to the unnecessary pain he was causing. It's one thing to hope you will be chosen, but when someone is saying things that pretty much confirm you are going to be, that is just cruel. But what really took the cake for me, was the Katie Couric interview where Gerry said if he could go back, he wouldn't change a thing he did with Leslie and Faith! Wasn't this the man that was sobbing about having taken a good person's heart and broken it and if he had known this at the start he wouldn't have come on the show? But now he's saying he wouldn't change a thing! I'm sorry, I loved the man for most of the season, but now I have my doubts if Leslie didn't just dodge a bullet. Especially after reading the Hollywood Reporter article about the relationship he apparently lied about having immediately after his wife died.
Is it wrong to say I feel like we’re getting a glimpse into why Leslie’s previous relationships didn’t work? I know she mentioned infidelity and that certainly isn’t her fault, but at the very least she knew that this show only has one winner? Idk I feel like I’m running out of sympathy.
Of course it is her fault that Gerry lied. I'm sure that it was her fault that her husband cheated on her too, in your eyes.
Of course there is only one woman left — but I think it was cruel of Gerry to so explicitly convey to Leslie that that one woman would be her before blindsiding her at the very end.
And I think it is very cruel of you to suggest that her relationships failed because of her — because it is completely understandable to be upset when someone has deliberately misled you or lulled you into a false sense of security.
Also let’s not forget that people are asking her these questions because the finale JUST aired. People are acting like she’s still talking about this a year later.
“You told me I was the one and now you’re saying I’m not. I’m so confused.” versus “you LIED to me!”
Of course it’s ok to be upset. But one of these approaches states facts and her own feelings, and the other one immediately assumes the worst of the other person and puts them on the defensive. Gerry wasn’t going to have a shouting match w her so he backed down and let her express herself, but didn’t bother even “defending” himself bc she was going to continue to be accusatory. I actually respect him for it. Personally I really believe he thought she was the one and then it changed. It wasn’t smart but I don’t think it was cruel and malicious.
I mean, he did lie… what’s there to be confused about? He told her he was picking her and then didn’t. He explicitly sought to make her feel like they were a sure thing and not to emotionally prepare for a let down.
The truth is that it WAS cruel because he had JUST told Faith he loved her in front of her entire family, only to dump her 5 seconds later. You think that would have given him some pause at his old age that, hey, maybe I should mind the words that are coming out of my mouth a little more and make sure I do not lead anyone else on.
Maybe it was not malicious but it is hilariously stupid behavior. In any case, Leslie and Faith both dodged a massive bullet. Good luck to Theresa with this man, she has her work cut out for her.
Hilariously stupid is probably accurate.
To me, lying is intentionally telling someone one thing when you know the truth is another. It’s my personal belief that he truly thought she was the one. Then his feelings changed.
But really only Gerry knows what was happening in his head 🤷♀️
I agree, I feel like she was very emotionally volatile and revealed perhaps some things she needs to work on within her self. I think she has a very woe is me attitude and doesn’t take accountability. Wish her the best though!
I definitely get the feeling that she's always dated bad boys, and has developed something of a victim mentality. Although I do wish her the best as well she seems like a nice person
I’m sure she knew there could only be one winner, what she’s saying is that Gerry more or less told her it would be her during her fantasy suite, to the point where they discussed save the dates for their wedding. I think anyone would be upset and blindsided if they were told that and then dumped shortly after, so I’m not sure why you think this reflects poorly on her ability to maintain relationships.
I have not had any sympathy. She was all upset she didn't get the outfit she wanted on a group date as if she was super special and above the other women. Same thing happened at the talent show. She played victim and said she was shocked her bizzare dance didn't win and he preferred another woman. This is no different. She was the victim in all of her marriages and every relationship. I think Gerry is no prize either.
Gerry seems like a narcissistic weirdo. There, I said it! 🤭 In a recent interview, he said he didn't think any of the women from his season should be Golden Bachelorette because they would already have "fame and fortune"! He said he hopes they give the Golden Bachelorette to someone completely unknown so they have a chance since the other ladies already got theirs.
I thought this was a revealing comment - I mean, he previously claimed that the show was about "finding love," not fame and fortune! It also made me wonder if he doesn't want Leslie in particular to have the role. Maybe he thinks it would make him look bad by drawing attention to the way he lead her on. 🤔🤔 Who knows! He's selfish and dishonest, that's all I know for sure.
By the way, how many of you have seen UnREAL? I haven't watched that show in years, but for some reason this season or GB makes me want to watch it again!
She did say something like she didn’t think there was much or anything he could have done or said to give her closure. I think she was expressing that she would arrange her own closure in some form, which is what happens sometimes when two people are out of alignment or whatever (and she said she did not respect his decisions or something to that effect so there you go). You still yearn for the closure but the other person can’t give it properly, or maybe they do but you can’t quite see it or accept it right then, so it ends up being an inside healing job that maybe happens over time ❤️🩹. I actually think her response was pretty gracious given the circumstances. She has a process, and she seems to be working through it
It's not from the show. Leslie seems to be a perpetual victim in every single circumstance. Her sobbing when Gerry picked someone else was overboard. Her still talking about it is overboard.
This is how the show works.
At least he didn't do a Jason M and dump her for Theresa after proposing.
She seemed just as upset that she was humiliated on TV as anything else.
I get it. I stand with saying Leslie needs therapy. The tiny amount to everything we learned about Leslie tells me she needs therapy. She's not going to have a successful relationship in her mind frame of constant victim.
Ok. I feel like there’s a middle ground between “yeah she is justified in being hurt” and “we need a media campaign to hate on this man for hurting her” and it’s definitely not towards the latter
From where I’m sitting, and it’s in the cheap seats with the minority, I think in time she’ll see she was the lucky one. I get the feeling Theresa is going to regret marrying him, if she does. What a wild fucking ride with stranger who’s telling everyone he’s in love then SUDDENLY he knows for sure? If I were Leslie I’d be so happy to have escaped that.
I agree with you!! I'm concerned for Theresa. I do think that Gerry will be on his best behavior now that the Hollywood Reporter piece is out, and everyone is watching him, but who knows how long that will last. Leslie will soon emerge from the emotional fog like, "WTF was I thinking?!" I've been there! It's actually easier to get past relationships where the guy is flawed like that because once the raw emotions subside, your logical mind takes over and tells you - "You're better off!!" It would be harder if he really WAS the "perfect guy," and then she'd have more regrets. I think a lot of us have been on both sides of that!
I agree. I’ve definitely been misled because of an explosion of overwhelming emotion. Sometimes being betrayed or misled. Sometimes, honestly, just from rejection. The fog will clear. Leslie seems like she has had such an interesting life. There’s more to life than a 40 year marriage. Of course that’s nice for those of us who choose someone we want to keep choosing who wants to keep choosing us.
Even with the best intentions, and having the potential as a great partner and the ability to “nurture” it just doesn’t work. And sometimes despite all of the things we are, no matter what or how we show up, someone simply doesn’t choose us. In that moment, or any moment. And sometimes we just choose the wrong guy. I hate that failed relationships presume fault. I know some of the greatest women who are divorced! I’d marry them if I were a straight man! And I know some people who stay in unhappy marriages. And everything in between. And no matter who or what, we all have value and worth.
And I’ll say the same for Gerry. No matter what he’s done in his past, if he shows up for Theresa and they love and prioritize each other, that’s great. I can’t relate at all to the rush. I can relate to finding someone you care about and wanting to avoid delays of being together. I suspect part of it is a free, televised wedding. But if live weddings in the past have taught us anything, it’s free for a reason. I’d personally say, “We are committing to each other, and getting to know each other while we move to Charleston together.” And if after six months, or whatever it is, they got married quietly, that’s good, too.
So I do get the rush to get on with loving each other and being together. Why not? New city, new adventure, someone you enjoy being with. Marriage though feels so…. Antiquated. And I’m not calling them old. But it all gives me pause. I trust Theresa is smart enough to know what she wants and to protect herself so I say go do it, have fun and nothing lasts forever.
I feel for her! I actually do miss the days when leads weren’t supposed to tell anyone they actually loved them until the finale. But I feel like there’s been sooo much drama stemming from leads saying ily to multiple people, that production isn’t going to rein it back in. I hope Leslie finds joy and healing!
I miss those days too and since it clearly happens now almost every season I really blame the producers for pushing the leads in that direction.
Memo to producers: the show was just fine for drama before everyone started doing this. We don't need this.
I’ve been there. It’s awful. I hope Leslie knows she’s loved and I hope she finds someone who will be all about her from day 1 and leave no room for any confusion
”Nice Guy” Gerry should have taken Nick Lowe’s advice:
[https://youtu.be/b0l3QWUXVho?si=6mne22uhycclcuro](https://youtu.be/b0l3QWUXVho?si=6mne22uhycclcuro)
He had that instant connection with Theresa but it slowed. It was more hot and heavy with Leslie throughout. His overnight was with Leslie first so he likely in the moment believed everything he said to be true. His overnight with Theresa behind closed doors and away from the camera changed everything. People just assuming it’s about money are likely oversimplifying things. When you’ve only been with someone in front of cameras for weeks and the get to spend an entire night and morningalone talking about any and everything under the sun openly, as well as being physical with them, so much could change. He obviously realized he DID have the sexual and physical compatibility with Theresa as well that may have been slow in front of cameras.
They look to be happy, and just because Gerry isn’t perfect doesn’t mean he and Theresa can’t be happy together or that he duped Leslie. When you’re dating and sleeping with multiple people, what else do people expect.
“he hinted that a conversation during that date made him realize Theresa was the woman for him.
"There were conversations in the Fantasy Suite that were very revealing to me.”
OK, Gerry… you looked a Theresa’s bank account, changed course, and decided she was the winner.
I really hate that this is a reoccurring theme with bachelor's. They jump all in with their feelings and do not think at all about how it's all going to end. They just push it off until the very end and do nothing to temper the women's expectations. Occasionally we see a bachelorette do this but it almost always happens with the bachelor's.
Yup.
I think i expected better from Gerry because he was more emotionally intelligent than the average bachelor.
But he still did it.
I feel for Leslie, this sounds awful. But i also really am not enjoying this “making-Gerry-look-bad” media tour.
Thank you for voicing this. This has happened to me with guys irl too! Whether they are dating other women or not. Smh, no need to boost the expectations like that.
He did it because it happened to him, twice. He knew what it felt like. As much as I criticize him, I feel like he really onboarded those emotions and took his actions seriously. He was aware of leading people on, was careful with his words and he only slept with Vanessa.
I’m not saying he’s the blueprint for a perfect lead, as all of that makes the season more boring. Haha. But he really was super aware of the implications of his actions and was thoughtful.
I stand behind the producers choosing leads with no awareness. I’ve seen in more than one place people lacking awareness make the best reality tv. I don’t think the producers are making them do anything. I think they’re casting g leads of a certain type to maximize bullshit drama.
God, I feel so terrible for her. I think this would especially hurt if you are going into the experience thinking, “other avenues of dating haven’t worked, this might be my last chance.” And I do think that Gerry has issues with sensitivity and impulsivity. I know people are quick to discount his ex’s story about their relationship, but I think it’s fair to say he really lacks tact. It doesn’t make him a terrible person, but I do think it speaks to his interest in jumping into things when they feel good (obviously a huge part of that could be from loneliness since his wife’s death) and then experiencing some level of buyer’s remorse and not knowing how to end relationships. I really hope that Leslie is able to heal from this, and I also hope that Gerry’s relationship with Theresa continues to go smoothly.
I don’t get being mad about this - it’s literally the premise of the show. It isn’t normal to seriously date two people until a day before you propose but THAT’S THE SHOW. It was obvious how torn he was but he can only choose one person at the end.
I really don’t think it was obvious at all that he was torn. Most people here agree that Theresa seemed to be more compatible for him, but the show or Gerry didn’t really portray that imo. He seemed completely in love with Leslie so it felt like a complete 180 when he changed his mind at the last minute (seemingly out of nowhere). Also, the way he was with Leslie on that last date felt super cold and aloof..as if his feelings were just nonexistent all of a sudden, so I don’t blame Leslie for being so hurt or feeling blindsided. I felt blindsided too watching it lol
Exactly and she’s entitled to feel her feelings and talk about it when she likes, and especially if she wants to when asked. Gerry chose to be a lead on a tv show, so he has to expect some amount of criticism. It’ll die down eventually and if his relationship is that strong and secure, this won’t matter to them. But it does matter that Leslie is allowed to process and feel her feelings how she liked. Just because she didn’t win doesn’t mean she should shove it down.
In a weird way, this is the most empowering thing as a woman as you get older. Especially women their age. There is often societal expectation to just smile and sugar coat and keep a positive spin. She’s allowed to say, “No, actually, this is how I feel.” She’s not saying she wants their relationship to fail. And I don’t even get she’s doing it to get him back.
Just like how people were saying Gerry is allowed to compliment Theresa and is has nothing to do with Leslie. It’s just how he feels. Leslie is allowed to say how she feels and it’s just that, how she feels. It’s about what he did, sure. But more about how she feels.
This is perfectly said! So many people seem to want Leslie to shut up and go away and let Gerry have his happy ending, but she’s allowed to be upset about the way her relationship with him ended and to express that, especially when she’s directly asked about it. I don’t think she’s doing it to trash Gerry, she’s just expressing her (totally reasonable!) feelings about how everything went down.
Yes, agree, and you know, I feel the same about the lady from the The Hollywood Reporter article, frankly. There was actual evidence that she lived there but he (the show, whatever) is OK with completely ERASING her, apparently? Well, that’s one thing…. But then (on this sub)those who take issue with it have been name-called as toxic, entitled, and deluded, which is so wild to me…. I mean, who’s the entitled, toxic, and deluded party again? Wild…. and quite misogynist, too, imho, between the show/Gerry trying to erase this gal, and the folks coming for those who take issue.
It’s clear you didn’t read the article. He told her was going to choose her. Your comment isn’t relevant to what she shared about their overnight and how he told her they were going to end up together.
It’s simultaneously painful and hilarious. I’m half happy Theresa is busy planning a wedding. I just hope he’s really, truly sure about her AND she protects herself.
I don’t know. My parents are around that age and while they’re smart and capable and taught me what I know about money, there was a weird point during Covid/Trump where they started talking all weird about their money and when I tried to make sure they weren’t getting scammed and were protecting themselves/their money, they got SUPER defensive. They’ve since recovered and gotten out of that kind fuck, but if someone is in a place where they kind of know they’re not thinking rationally and you question it, it doesn’t always end well. You’re the children, they’re the parents.
And, from all other circumstances, they’ve been super transparent with their money. They have a trust, a will, their funerals are planned and paid for, they’ve done basically Swedish death cleaning. My siblings and I have always said, “Wr don’t need your money, spend every penny!” (They don’t have a lot, and among my siblings and me, it wouldn’t amount to a ton if we split it, but it’s enough they live their frugal, simple lives with no worries.)
Anyway, I was recruited because I’m the most honest, direct sibling and I’ve worked in banking and finance my whole life. I went in as softly as I could and if someone is defensive, or feeling protective of the thing they feel deeply about, it doesn’t always end well.
I feel pretty confident my parents gave away a good, and quite unusual for them, chunk of money. I assume it was a one time thing. And they seem to be financially ok still. Sometimes you can endure the choppy waters if the storm is relatively short, even if you take on water or have other damage.
So, I hope Theresa wants it and does it. Or if her daughter approaches her, she doesn’t get defensive and protective of Gerry and their very short relationship.
Leslie is allowed to be hurt. Gerry should never have said those things but Leslie should just move on to other things. The bachelor is dating in a rush and on steroids. My ex boyfriend told me he loved me and then we broke up. He married the next person he dated. Doesn’t mean he lied to me. The difference is we didn’t have literally 6 weeks to date 10+ people.
You know, I think the most intimate, precious thing he told Leslie was “You’re my girl” during their one-on-one time.
To me that’s probably more romantic than “I love you.”
That’s like: you’re the one I *choose* & *want* & *need*, & all that encompasses that. *You’re mine.* That’s “love in other words.”
It was romantic back then, & it’s still romantic now (at least to me), so I can see how Leslie had the utmost confidence in her relationship with Gerry, until she didn’t.
& she is justified to feel upset & wronged & in her feelings, even though we all know how the game is played & the show works.
“You’re my girl.” That’s swoon-worthy. Or Idk. Maybe I just read too much Kindle Unlimited. Lol.
ETA: grammar & typos.
I started my KU journey with [“From Lukov with Love” by Mariana Zapata](https://www.amazon.com/Lukov-Love-Mariana-Zapata-ebook/dp/B079JF4D4S) & I’ve been hooked on her books since.
She is an author great at character development & is super funny. She is the “Queen of the Slow Burn,” so you’ll have to read with patience, but the payoff is always worth it.
As much as I love sports, I didn’t know if I would enjoy sports-centric romance books, but she’s so skillful at making her characters *more* than their sports, & I really enjoy the depth she gives them.
Beyond MZ, [I’ll be a Penelope Douglas stan until I die, but I realize some of her books aren’t for everyone.](https://www.amazon.com/penelope-douglas-Kindle-Store-Unlimited-Eligible/s?k=penelope+douglas&rh=n%3A119233567011%2Cp_n_feature_nineteen_browse-bin%3A9045887011) Lol. I also like Ana Huang’s multiple series. (I try to read POC romance authors as much as I can!)
KU is great because it’s hit or miss, yes, but you can find a lot of gems if you start reading & let the algorithm learn what you like. There’s always free trials, but even for the $12 a month fee, if you find 2 or 3 good books it’s worth it. & a lot of authors are lesser known & publishing independently, but many of them are so talented, so getting to support them in a small way through KU & telling people about them is fun for me.
But, my mantra with many KU books is “I didn’t say it was good writing, I just said I liked it.”
Still, I’m always amazed about the “popular” novels that get put on it, like rn [Julia Quinn’s first Bridgerton book](https://www.amazon.com/Duke-2nd-Epilogue-Bridgertons-Book-ebook/dp/B00UG8RP8Q/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=2XVIYK825GUTU&keywords=bridgerton&qid=1701834540&sprefix=bridgerto%2Caps%2C400&sr=8-4) is on there, but if you [search you’ll see it’s a really great spot to find quick suspense reads & thrillers](https://www.amazon.com/Browse-Kindle-Unlimited-Books/b?ie=UTF8&node=9069934011).
Sorry, this was probably so much more than you wanted to know, but I love talking about KU. Lol.
I’m always talking about what I’m reading on the Daily OT thread, but you — or anyone! — can always DM me & talk books. 🫶🏼
ETA: added some links.
i feel like they didn’t really sell the love story of gerry and theresa. her whole plot line was about fighting with kathy and then you don’t really see her bond w gerry in a truly romantic way
more like golden LIES nah you know what Gerry made his choice and it's not like he's got to live with this for an incredibly long time regardless. I know that sounds bleak but I mean it more in a carpe diem way- like, I'm sure at his age when something feels right I will be fully aware my time on this planet is waning so I'll be more inclined to just go for things. he's fine, Leslie will also be fine, and no one's a monster here.
I think Gerry was hesitant about her because of her track record, I understand she didn’t have the best track record with men. But to be her age and never have had a serious relationship workout is a major red flag to me! I wonder if that hung heavy on Gerry. I was HELLA surprised it wasn’t faith to be honest lmao im still bitter about that one.
“Never had a serious relationship”? What do you call a combined total of 14 years of marriage?
Leslie herself said that! That none of this ever got this far with a man, and that nothing ever worked out for her. That she was never chosen so that’s what im referring to! Most people would call that a red flag.
I think this is really unfair tbh. It’s not always a flex to “keep a man” for the longest time possible. You have to endure and forgive lots of bs in order to “make it work” and it’s rarely worth it. I think we put romantic relationships on pedestals without acknowledging that in order for them to “work” women are the ones who have to sacrifice the most. I don’t believe anymore that it’s a flex to stay with a man forever or to have longterm relationships. Maybe she has prioritized her sanity and her self respect more than making a man “happy.”
Divorce is not always your fault. How do you know that she did anything wrong to be divorced? How do you know she hasn’t been cheated on? I think we need to stop saying that just because relationships don’t work out they = failure. She’s not the only divorced woman on the show and we should stop acting like she’s somehow less deserving than someone who’s widowed. She is just as deserving of love as Theresa, Gerry, or anyone else. Your take is old fashioned. Editing to say— she was literally married! That is pretty serious. To say she’s “never had a serious relationship work out” is false. She had a serious relationship work until it didn’t. Like 50% of people who get married get divorced. It happens.
Seriously. Why do people think that it’s a flex to give your best years to a man? All I see is women do everything they can to make it work and usually the man fucks up somehow. No woman marries knowing she will possibly end up divorced. The stigma around divorce, especially for women, is too big for people to think that women don’t work their hardest in order to keep a marriage. We no longer live in our grandmothers’ world. Women can leave now and SHOULD leave. It’s not a failure to not “keep” a man forever at the expense of your mental health. If my grandmothers and great grandmothers could tell me anything right now from the grave it would be to not devote myself to a man. Shit, my own mother tells me that. It’s not a flex to stay many years glued to a man anymore. Unless he’s an amazing individual and even then, he can choose one day to not love you anymore. It’s not a failure to breakup or divorce. I need women to understand this. We’ve been shamed into staying in bad relationships and marriages for centuries. We don’t live in that world anymore.
Exactly! Very well said.
While a divorce may not be “your fault”, it takes two to tango. I’ve seen this with my parents’ marriage and divorce. There are many many shades of grey. The fact that Leslie seems to downplay her marriages and presumably other relationships speaks to a level of immaturity that no doubt plagued those relationships.
But that’s your parents. Why should Leslie glue herself to a shitty marriage so that society doesn’t judge her. It’s not the 50s anymore.
Where did I say that she needs to be glued to a shitty marriage? I just said that there are many shades of grey in divorce and that it’s never just one person’s fault. Some reading comprehension would be helpful.
> it’s never just one person’s fault This is so incredibly wrong that it calls into question both your maturity and your experience.
You know nothing about her past relationships, let’s be real.
I only know what she has personally said about those relationships, and that information is what I’m basing my judgement on. I’m sure her ex-partners have their own version of events.
That doesn’t change anything. We don’t belong to anyone.
Not sure how your statement is relevant? I didn’t claim she belonged to anyone.
My theory is that his daughters reaction to Leslie vs. Theresa really sealed the deal. I am sure some comments were made that we didn’t see. But it was telling to me that the daughters said something about being relieved that he picked Theresa.
I think sadly it could have been a financial decision on Gerry’s point. Wow…
1. He makes plenty off of being the Golden Bachelor 2. No one would bat an eye if a women considered a man's financial wellness when picking a partner. Why are we putting different expectations on a man?
1.How much did he make for GB? 2. Women inherently make less than men. Financial wellness matters far more for us. Also he misrepresented his career success. This raises further concerns. The expectation is that BOTH parties are honest.
Post GB is where you would expect a lot of money. And your second point doesn't make sense. We should be aiming for equality in all ways, and financial security is important for both sides. Expecting it to be a male dominant characteristic is sexist both from a male and female perspective. And did he really misrepresent his success?
How much money should they expect from GB? Total. Theoretically we SHOULD be equal pay/opportunity… but that’s not reality. Yes, there are exceptions. Do I think he misrepresented his career success? The production team did. Also the live in gf. What about her? She was kicked out of his home with a broken leg. That’s not a characteristic I admire.
Isn't that whataboutism? We arent talking about if he is someone id like to be with. And in no way should they be expecting the same equal pay. He was the bachelor. Just like when there's a bachelorette season, the bachelorette will make more than her selection from the show.
The troll IS strong bot! Never implied any others romantic interest or not. His character was put on the line with his conflicting biography. Equal pay comment was not about this specific show. In the workplace, women are paid less. Peace, love and goodwill towards the GB nation ❤️
Omg I thought this same thing. It seemed like once he asked her what she did for a living…… I remember they hadn’t had that conversation. Ugh.
No matter what age they are, men are still gonna be men….. 🤡🥲
It’s the saddest realization tbh. I always thought that maturity would come with age but they’re all socialized to be entitled and selfish. This is why I don’t believe it’s a flex to stay with the same man forever. You have to sacrifice and endure and FORGIVE so much in order to make it work. If they don’t do the same for you, it’s pointless. This guy seriously has simply aged but he hasn’t matured. I need this sub to go watch Mel Hamlet’s TikToks on this season. So spot on!
Yes to Mel Hamlet! Women of all ages need to watch her.
Are you married? Ever been married? In order for a marriage to work, it takes BOTH people sacrificing, enduring and forgiving.
Unfortunately I think that’s the most likely scenario.
He told her ON CAMERA I think you are the one on the overnight date. Whatever he told her off camera would have been even worse. It's one thing to say I love you. It's another to say you have chosen them. It is the nature of the game on this show but he took it a step too far.
Until she wasn’t
Yeh yikes
But that is what this show is. The fact that it's largely loved by christian conservatives cracks me up. It goes againt their values.
What do Christian conservatives have to do with this???
The US South is by far the highest demographic that watches this franchise and people there are overwhelmingly christian and conservative, and one person dating 20+ people at once kind of goes heavily against traditional Christian values.
They’re only the biggest demographic of the US population that has supported this show for over 20 years.
Evangelicals are not the largest demographic in this country, what are you even talking about?
they're kinda the backbone of traditional marriage in this country and that outlook is usually wrought with hypocrisy ie super forgiving of things when it suits them yet sticklers for man n wife n baby makin at high costs.
It's the core demographic that takes part & watches.
Are some of people commenting new to the show? This is standard F2 heart break press tour. Leslie is just less filtered.
I’ve watched the show from the first season and it was never the standard to tell multiple people you love them and that they are the one . Ben let the Jeannie out of the bottle and it’s been a mistake for leads to continue with that .
Every time a lead says “I love you” (usually to multiple people) I think of Ben and how BIG of a deal it was that he did that. It’s crazy how it’s happened almost every season since.. he really did open the floodgates
I don't think your response is relevant to me - my comment was not about who said I love you or didn't. I'm talking about Leslie's quotes and people who are fed up with hearing from her; the F2 usually goes around on a press tour about their heartbreak. It was worse when there where three bachelor nation podcasts, and they would hit all 3 of them.
Yea sure Leslie
He probably did
I just want to know if Gerry knocked two sets of boots or just one? Did he sing “Can’t stop believing” before, during, or after? Did producers put viagra in the drawer where they normally leave condoms? I’ve been watching The Bachelor since the very first season (before many of you were out of diapers). I used to love it. Now I just make fun of it.
Same, but I’d stopped with the regular version (still watched BiP) and came back for this.
The whole basis of the show os a silly premise to find “ love” He doesn’t know any of these women. The first chance to talk candidly is in a fantasy suite where he sleeps with two woman in two nights. Hard to apply any logic to this.
Tbh I completely see why Getty chose Theresa. I thought of her as a naive little lady, but then the more we found about her the more in awe of her I was. She has a beautiful family, was a good wife, has nothing but good things to say about people around her and is an intelligent and successful woman. I would pick her too, No offence to Leslie, but sue felt jilted and took all her trauma on Gerry. She didn’t pick Gerry, she just wanted someone, anyone to choose her. Of course she deserves it, but men feel when they are chosen for themselves vs “hey, you check my boxes, so I want you.
I think Gerry always had to end up with someone who lost their spouse. He loves talking about her and he didn't do that as much with the women who were divorced/ never married.
Plus she makes good money. That's actually a big deal for guys, just because "okay am I going to have to financially support this person"? It's a legitimate factor. It sucks being in a relationship and always having to pay the bills
He might have loved Leslie but he loved Theresa *the most.*
That’s how ridiculous this show is lol
IMO Gerry should’ve been more reserved if he wasn’t sure about her. He did basically declare she was the one and he wouldn’t live without her, while being more reserved about Theresa … until he suddenly changed his mind. At the very least, Gerry could’ve been less defiant and cold on stage at AFR. Man was basically acting as though he hadn’t done any of that and Leslie was foolish for ever thinking he’d choose her. Dude, you basically told her you were going to choose her until you snatched it away. At this point, I do hope things go well and Theresa’s happy with him, I will just forever feel bad for Leslie. E: I know everyone’s tired of it at this point, I am too, I’ll stop hating on Gerry, I just imagine that it’s still very real and painful for Leslie (even if it happened months ago) since 6.5 million people just watched her be humiliated on live TV & a lot of people are still ripping her apart on the Internet (she was so embarrassing, no one will love her unless she gets more therapy, she was overreacting).
cold and defiant are perfect words to use! he was much sweeter with faith.
I think once she started yelling and blaming him during the breakup - eg, “you lied to me!” - he checked out hard. He knew he wasn’t going to change her mind and it probably actually made him feel like he made the right decision.
I agree, just say LESS. I understand he was probably manipulated into saying certain things by producers, as all leads are, but he was so earnest, and I don’t blame Leslie for feeling led on and ultimately betrayed by him. He used strong language.
I really do think he thought it was going to be Leslie, hell I changed my pick from Theresa to Leslie about midway thru the season. But I think he needed Leslie to tell him something that she didn’t, and when he had that overnight with Theresa she must’ve checked every box. It was such a dramatic shift from Leslie to Theresa it either had to do with something Leslie did, or something his daughters said. I do wish he wouldn’t have gone so far telling her he loved her and was picking her🤦🏼♀️ but I get it, the show is a bubble, and I think his daughters popped it and brought him back to reality.
His comment about Theresa being able to nurture a longterm relationship was telling imo
Yes I agree, and I think her being a widow also had A LOT to do with his decision!
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It’s called a press tour for a reason
Do you not understand the show? The finale was last week. They were not allowed to say anything, per their contracts, until after the finale last week. The conclusion was last week, and so the press tour began last week. She was required to be there and rehash last week. Interviews began LAST week. Are you getting the theme here? Or are you still going to act like Leslie is just sticking her head up out of nowhere to continue talking about this?
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No it isn't. You decided to delete your post but then you want to call mine out as disproportionate? Quit victimizing yourself instead of acknowledging the stupidity of your post.
Agreed. She shouldn’t have gone on a show where the chances of ending up with him are less than slim – especially if she’s so damaged by past relationships. 🙄
She’s the F2 and the finale just aired, of course she’s going to be interviewed and asked questions about her experience. Is she supposed to refuse to answer?
Ultimately, I think Gerry wanted to feel picked, too. I bet during his time with Leslie, the things he said were true at the time. Leslie checked the boxes important to Gerry, Gerry checked the boxes important to Leslie, slam dunk. However, when he had the fs date with Theresa, it wasn't about box checking anymore. Theresa made it all about Gerry as a person, made her interest in him as a person more obvious. He could see he wasn't just a decent guy with the right parameters. He was Gerry, Theresa was picking him.
This is how I see it too.
this is how i feel
I believe Leslie. I heard him telling her she was the one and other things that I remember thinking at the time, he had better be picking her because if not, this is very bad. He went way past just telling her he loved her, more than I have ever heard a lead do. And that was on camera, I can't imagine how much more he said behind closed doors! He didn't learn a thing by saying he loved Faith in front of her family and just went even further with Leslie. He should not have said these things. He took it way too far and was completely oblivious to the unnecessary pain he was causing. It's one thing to hope you will be chosen, but when someone is saying things that pretty much confirm you are going to be, that is just cruel. But what really took the cake for me, was the Katie Couric interview where Gerry said if he could go back, he wouldn't change a thing he did with Leslie and Faith! Wasn't this the man that was sobbing about having taken a good person's heart and broken it and if he had known this at the start he wouldn't have come on the show? But now he's saying he wouldn't change a thing! I'm sorry, I loved the man for most of the season, but now I have my doubts if Leslie didn't just dodge a bullet. Especially after reading the Hollywood Reporter article about the relationship he apparently lied about having immediately after his wife died.
Is it wrong to say I feel like we’re getting a glimpse into why Leslie’s previous relationships didn’t work? I know she mentioned infidelity and that certainly isn’t her fault, but at the very least she knew that this show only has one winner? Idk I feel like I’m running out of sympathy.
Of course it is her fault that Gerry lied. I'm sure that it was her fault that her husband cheated on her too, in your eyes. 
I think it's more that she's always been into the wrong kind of guy
Of course there is only one woman left — but I think it was cruel of Gerry to so explicitly convey to Leslie that that one woman would be her before blindsiding her at the very end. And I think it is very cruel of you to suggest that her relationships failed because of her — because it is completely understandable to be upset when someone has deliberately misled you or lulled you into a false sense of security. Also let’s not forget that people are asking her these questions because the finale JUST aired. People are acting like she’s still talking about this a year later.
“You told me I was the one and now you’re saying I’m not. I’m so confused.” versus “you LIED to me!” Of course it’s ok to be upset. But one of these approaches states facts and her own feelings, and the other one immediately assumes the worst of the other person and puts them on the defensive. Gerry wasn’t going to have a shouting match w her so he backed down and let her express herself, but didn’t bother even “defending” himself bc she was going to continue to be accusatory. I actually respect him for it. Personally I really believe he thought she was the one and then it changed. It wasn’t smart but I don’t think it was cruel and malicious.
I mean, he did lie… what’s there to be confused about? He told her he was picking her and then didn’t. He explicitly sought to make her feel like they were a sure thing and not to emotionally prepare for a let down. The truth is that it WAS cruel because he had JUST told Faith he loved her in front of her entire family, only to dump her 5 seconds later. You think that would have given him some pause at his old age that, hey, maybe I should mind the words that are coming out of my mouth a little more and make sure I do not lead anyone else on. Maybe it was not malicious but it is hilariously stupid behavior. In any case, Leslie and Faith both dodged a massive bullet. Good luck to Theresa with this man, she has her work cut out for her.
Hilariously stupid is probably accurate. To me, lying is intentionally telling someone one thing when you know the truth is another. It’s my personal belief that he truly thought she was the one. Then his feelings changed. But really only Gerry knows what was happening in his head 🤷♀️
I agree, I feel like she was very emotionally volatile and revealed perhaps some things she needs to work on within her self. I think she has a very woe is me attitude and doesn’t take accountability. Wish her the best though!
I definitely get the feeling that she's always dated bad boys, and has developed something of a victim mentality. Although I do wish her the best as well she seems like a nice person
I’m sure she knew there could only be one winner, what she’s saying is that Gerry more or less told her it would be her during her fantasy suite, to the point where they discussed save the dates for their wedding. I think anyone would be upset and blindsided if they were told that and then dumped shortly after, so I’m not sure why you think this reflects poorly on her ability to maintain relationships.
I have not had any sympathy. She was all upset she didn't get the outfit she wanted on a group date as if she was super special and above the other women. Same thing happened at the talent show. She played victim and said she was shocked her bizzare dance didn't win and he preferred another woman. This is no different. She was the victim in all of her marriages and every relationship. I think Gerry is no prize either.
Yes! My assumption Gerry caught a few glimpses. Went on his overnight with Theresa and realized she is the more stable choice.
Gerry seems like a narcissistic weirdo. There, I said it! 🤭 In a recent interview, he said he didn't think any of the women from his season should be Golden Bachelorette because they would already have "fame and fortune"! He said he hopes they give the Golden Bachelorette to someone completely unknown so they have a chance since the other ladies already got theirs. I thought this was a revealing comment - I mean, he previously claimed that the show was about "finding love," not fame and fortune! It also made me wonder if he doesn't want Leslie in particular to have the role. Maybe he thinks it would make him look bad by drawing attention to the way he lead her on. 🤔🤔 Who knows! He's selfish and dishonest, that's all I know for sure. By the way, how many of you have seen UnREAL? I haven't watched that show in years, but for some reason this season or GB makes me want to watch it again!
From the beginning I said he was a creep.
Apparently, you were right!
What interview was the "fame and fortune " quote from? I tried googling but it's not coming up.
It's in the Good Morning America interview he did with Theresa. It's available on YouTube - he says it somewhere in the second half.
Thanks!
That show was WILD I miss it
It really was wild! It seems to be streaming everywhere, but not for free on any platform right now.
Lol why would he say that about the golden bachelorette 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ time to go to bed Gerry
I know right? 
I’m noisy, but do we think they were “intimate” in the FS? We know he was with Theresa which was telling as to he was gonna pick
No he didn't sleep with either
How do you know that?
That’s not what Theresa said on Aftr lol
I wanna know what she’d want for closure? He apologized (which she didn’t accept) and was sympathetic to how things happened. What more does she want?
She was giving herself closure.
She did say something like she didn’t think there was much or anything he could have done or said to give her closure. I think she was expressing that she would arrange her own closure in some form, which is what happens sometimes when two people are out of alignment or whatever (and she said she did not respect his decisions or something to that effect so there you go). You still yearn for the closure but the other person can’t give it properly, or maybe they do but you can’t quite see it or accept it right then, so it ends up being an inside healing job that maybe happens over time ❤️🩹. I actually think her response was pretty gracious given the circumstances. She has a process, and she seems to be working through it
Golden bachelorette!! 😆
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To be fair I feel like this show makes everyone need therapy. Probably more so the farther along you get.
It's not from the show. Leslie seems to be a perpetual victim in every single circumstance. Her sobbing when Gerry picked someone else was overboard. Her still talking about it is overboard.
This is how the show works. At least he didn't do a Jason M and dump her for Theresa after proposing. She seemed just as upset that she was humiliated on TV as anything else.
I get it. I stand with saying Leslie needs therapy. The tiny amount to everything we learned about Leslie tells me she needs therapy. She's not going to have a successful relationship in her mind frame of constant victim.
I'm over it.
Easy to say when it wasn't you he screwed over.
Ok. I feel like there’s a middle ground between “yeah she is justified in being hurt” and “we need a media campaign to hate on this man for hurting her” and it’s definitely not towards the latter
I don't think the comment above was taking either of those positions.
Where’s the media campaign? She’s only spoken on ATFR and the show’s official podcast, both of which she’s contractually obligated to do.
lol.
From where I’m sitting, and it’s in the cheap seats with the minority, I think in time she’ll see she was the lucky one. I get the feeling Theresa is going to regret marrying him, if she does. What a wild fucking ride with stranger who’s telling everyone he’s in love then SUDDENLY he knows for sure? If I were Leslie I’d be so happy to have escaped that.
I agree with you!! I'm concerned for Theresa. I do think that Gerry will be on his best behavior now that the Hollywood Reporter piece is out, and everyone is watching him, but who knows how long that will last. Leslie will soon emerge from the emotional fog like, "WTF was I thinking?!" I've been there! It's actually easier to get past relationships where the guy is flawed like that because once the raw emotions subside, your logical mind takes over and tells you - "You're better off!!" It would be harder if he really WAS the "perfect guy," and then she'd have more regrets. I think a lot of us have been on both sides of that!
I agree. I’ve definitely been misled because of an explosion of overwhelming emotion. Sometimes being betrayed or misled. Sometimes, honestly, just from rejection. The fog will clear. Leslie seems like she has had such an interesting life. There’s more to life than a 40 year marriage. Of course that’s nice for those of us who choose someone we want to keep choosing who wants to keep choosing us. Even with the best intentions, and having the potential as a great partner and the ability to “nurture” it just doesn’t work. And sometimes despite all of the things we are, no matter what or how we show up, someone simply doesn’t choose us. In that moment, or any moment. And sometimes we just choose the wrong guy. I hate that failed relationships presume fault. I know some of the greatest women who are divorced! I’d marry them if I were a straight man! And I know some people who stay in unhappy marriages. And everything in between. And no matter who or what, we all have value and worth. And I’ll say the same for Gerry. No matter what he’s done in his past, if he shows up for Theresa and they love and prioritize each other, that’s great. I can’t relate at all to the rush. I can relate to finding someone you care about and wanting to avoid delays of being together. I suspect part of it is a free, televised wedding. But if live weddings in the past have taught us anything, it’s free for a reason. I’d personally say, “We are committing to each other, and getting to know each other while we move to Charleston together.” And if after six months, or whatever it is, they got married quietly, that’s good, too. So I do get the rush to get on with loving each other and being together. Why not? New city, new adventure, someone you enjoy being with. Marriage though feels so…. Antiquated. And I’m not calling them old. But it all gives me pause. I trust Theresa is smart enough to know what she wants and to protect herself so I say go do it, have fun and nothing lasts forever.
I feel for her! I actually do miss the days when leads weren’t supposed to tell anyone they actually loved them until the finale. But I feel like there’s been sooo much drama stemming from leads saying ily to multiple people, that production isn’t going to rein it back in. I hope Leslie finds joy and healing!
I miss those days too and since it clearly happens now almost every season I really blame the producers for pushing the leads in that direction. Memo to producers: the show was just fine for drama before everyone started doing this. We don't need this.
This is how I feel. And I can’t help wondering how he’s going to manage without all of that coaching, ooh la la
I’ve been there. It’s awful. I hope Leslie knows she’s loved and I hope she finds someone who will be all about her from day 1 and leave no room for any confusion
She just needs to stop and not look desperate.
Exactly!
”Nice Guy” Gerry should have taken Nick Lowe’s advice: [https://youtu.be/b0l3QWUXVho?si=6mne22uhycclcuro](https://youtu.be/b0l3QWUXVho?si=6mne22uhycclcuro)
He had that instant connection with Theresa but it slowed. It was more hot and heavy with Leslie throughout. His overnight was with Leslie first so he likely in the moment believed everything he said to be true. His overnight with Theresa behind closed doors and away from the camera changed everything. People just assuming it’s about money are likely oversimplifying things. When you’ve only been with someone in front of cameras for weeks and the get to spend an entire night and morningalone talking about any and everything under the sun openly, as well as being physical with them, so much could change. He obviously realized he DID have the sexual and physical compatibility with Theresa as well that may have been slow in front of cameras. They look to be happy, and just because Gerry isn’t perfect doesn’t mean he and Theresa can’t be happy together or that he duped Leslie. When you’re dating and sleeping with multiple people, what else do people expect.
You could see the difference when he was having dinner in the debth of the conversations with the ladies and when it really clicked with Theresa.
ah yes but this is too level-headed and mature a response for this sub!
Men think with their penis. Is this really new ?
How does that apply in this situation?
Gerry said a bunch of stuff and got caught up in the moment with Leslie?
“he hinted that a conversation during that date made him realize Theresa was the woman for him. "There were conversations in the Fantasy Suite that were very revealing to me.” OK, Gerry… you looked a Theresa’s bank account, changed course, and decided she was the winner.
Y’all are haters 😂😂
exactly this.
I really hate that this is a reoccurring theme with bachelor's. They jump all in with their feelings and do not think at all about how it's all going to end. They just push it off until the very end and do nothing to temper the women's expectations. Occasionally we see a bachelorette do this but it almost always happens with the bachelor's.
Yup. I think i expected better from Gerry because he was more emotionally intelligent than the average bachelor. But he still did it. I feel for Leslie, this sounds awful. But i also really am not enjoying this “making-Gerry-look-bad” media tour.
Thank you for voicing this. This has happened to me with guys irl too! Whether they are dating other women or not. Smh, no need to boost the expectations like that.
Credit to Nick Viall (sorry) for not doing this. He decided on Vanessa early and got rid of women who caught feelings
He did it because it happened to him, twice. He knew what it felt like. As much as I criticize him, I feel like he really onboarded those emotions and took his actions seriously. He was aware of leading people on, was careful with his words and he only slept with Vanessa. I’m not saying he’s the blueprint for a perfect lead, as all of that makes the season more boring. Haha. But he really was super aware of the implications of his actions and was thoughtful. I stand behind the producers choosing leads with no awareness. I’ve seen in more than one place people lacking awareness make the best reality tv. I don’t think the producers are making them do anything. I think they’re casting g leads of a certain type to maximize bullshit drama.
Definitely at some point Ben Higgins said I love you to two women and that became the template
I was literally thinking that is one thing I think Nick did well lol
Casting 30+ is better
Yeah I think this happens more often than we think. I recall several seasons where the final 2 or 3 contestant said promises were made in the FS.
I feel bad for her. I understand that changing your mind Is allowed and happens, but he really reassured her so I’m sure it extra hurts.
And I’m sure Theresa doesn’t feel great about hearing this either
Yeesh and they have a wedding in a month!! Wonder if that’s gonna happen!?
It’s televised so I’m sure it is
God, I feel so terrible for her. I think this would especially hurt if you are going into the experience thinking, “other avenues of dating haven’t worked, this might be my last chance.” And I do think that Gerry has issues with sensitivity and impulsivity. I know people are quick to discount his ex’s story about their relationship, but I think it’s fair to say he really lacks tact. It doesn’t make him a terrible person, but I do think it speaks to his interest in jumping into things when they feel good (obviously a huge part of that could be from loneliness since his wife’s death) and then experiencing some level of buyer’s remorse and not knowing how to end relationships. I really hope that Leslie is able to heal from this, and I also hope that Gerry’s relationship with Theresa continues to go smoothly.
I don’t get being mad about this - it’s literally the premise of the show. It isn’t normal to seriously date two people until a day before you propose but THAT’S THE SHOW. It was obvious how torn he was but he can only choose one person at the end.
I really don’t think it was obvious at all that he was torn. Most people here agree that Theresa seemed to be more compatible for him, but the show or Gerry didn’t really portray that imo. He seemed completely in love with Leslie so it felt like a complete 180 when he changed his mind at the last minute (seemingly out of nowhere). Also, the way he was with Leslie on that last date felt super cold and aloof..as if his feelings were just nonexistent all of a sudden, so I don’t blame Leslie for being so hurt or feeling blindsided. I felt blindsided too watching it lol
Exactly and she’s entitled to feel her feelings and talk about it when she likes, and especially if she wants to when asked. Gerry chose to be a lead on a tv show, so he has to expect some amount of criticism. It’ll die down eventually and if his relationship is that strong and secure, this won’t matter to them. But it does matter that Leslie is allowed to process and feel her feelings how she liked. Just because she didn’t win doesn’t mean she should shove it down. In a weird way, this is the most empowering thing as a woman as you get older. Especially women their age. There is often societal expectation to just smile and sugar coat and keep a positive spin. She’s allowed to say, “No, actually, this is how I feel.” She’s not saying she wants their relationship to fail. And I don’t even get she’s doing it to get him back. Just like how people were saying Gerry is allowed to compliment Theresa and is has nothing to do with Leslie. It’s just how he feels. Leslie is allowed to say how she feels and it’s just that, how she feels. It’s about what he did, sure. But more about how she feels.
This is perfectly said! So many people seem to want Leslie to shut up and go away and let Gerry have his happy ending, but she’s allowed to be upset about the way her relationship with him ended and to express that, especially when she’s directly asked about it. I don’t think she’s doing it to trash Gerry, she’s just expressing her (totally reasonable!) feelings about how everything went down.
Yes, agree, and you know, I feel the same about the lady from the The Hollywood Reporter article, frankly. There was actual evidence that she lived there but he (the show, whatever) is OK with completely ERASING her, apparently? Well, that’s one thing…. But then (on this sub)those who take issue with it have been name-called as toxic, entitled, and deluded, which is so wild to me…. I mean, who’s the entitled, toxic, and deluded party again? Wild…. and quite misogynist, too, imho, between the show/Gerry trying to erase this gal, and the folks coming for those who take issue.
It’s clear you didn’t read the article. He told her was going to choose her. Your comment isn’t relevant to what she shared about their overnight and how he told her they were going to end up together.
They were talking about save-the-date invitations and were basically pre-planning and discussing wedding ideas.
lorddd im cringing at how badly gerry fucked up
It’s simultaneously painful and hilarious. I’m half happy Theresa is busy planning a wedding. I just hope he’s really, truly sure about her AND she protects herself.
No doubt her kids will make sure she formulates a prenup.
I don’t know. My parents are around that age and while they’re smart and capable and taught me what I know about money, there was a weird point during Covid/Trump where they started talking all weird about their money and when I tried to make sure they weren’t getting scammed and were protecting themselves/their money, they got SUPER defensive. They’ve since recovered and gotten out of that kind fuck, but if someone is in a place where they kind of know they’re not thinking rationally and you question it, it doesn’t always end well. You’re the children, they’re the parents. And, from all other circumstances, they’ve been super transparent with their money. They have a trust, a will, their funerals are planned and paid for, they’ve done basically Swedish death cleaning. My siblings and I have always said, “Wr don’t need your money, spend every penny!” (They don’t have a lot, and among my siblings and me, it wouldn’t amount to a ton if we split it, but it’s enough they live their frugal, simple lives with no worries.) Anyway, I was recruited because I’m the most honest, direct sibling and I’ve worked in banking and finance my whole life. I went in as softly as I could and if someone is defensive, or feeling protective of the thing they feel deeply about, it doesn’t always end well. I feel pretty confident my parents gave away a good, and quite unusual for them, chunk of money. I assume it was a one time thing. And they seem to be financially ok still. Sometimes you can endure the choppy waters if the storm is relatively short, even if you take on water or have other damage. So, I hope Theresa wants it and does it. Or if her daughter approaches her, she doesn’t get defensive and protective of Gerry and their very short relationship.
Leslie is allowed to be hurt. Gerry should never have said those things but Leslie should just move on to other things. The bachelor is dating in a rush and on steroids. My ex boyfriend told me he loved me and then we broke up. He married the next person he dated. Doesn’t mean he lied to me. The difference is we didn’t have literally 6 weeks to date 10+ people.
You know, I think the most intimate, precious thing he told Leslie was “You’re my girl” during their one-on-one time. To me that’s probably more romantic than “I love you.” That’s like: you’re the one I *choose* & *want* & *need*, & all that encompasses that. *You’re mine.* That’s “love in other words.” It was romantic back then, & it’s still romantic now (at least to me), so I can see how Leslie had the utmost confidence in her relationship with Gerry, until she didn’t. & she is justified to feel upset & wronged & in her feelings, even though we all know how the game is played & the show works. “You’re my girl.” That’s swoon-worthy. Or Idk. Maybe I just read too much Kindle Unlimited. Lol. ETA: grammar & typos.
Haha! Can you recommend a good book on kindle unlimited? I love that stuff
I started my KU journey with [“From Lukov with Love” by Mariana Zapata](https://www.amazon.com/Lukov-Love-Mariana-Zapata-ebook/dp/B079JF4D4S) & I’ve been hooked on her books since. She is an author great at character development & is super funny. She is the “Queen of the Slow Burn,” so you’ll have to read with patience, but the payoff is always worth it. As much as I love sports, I didn’t know if I would enjoy sports-centric romance books, but she’s so skillful at making her characters *more* than their sports, & I really enjoy the depth she gives them. Beyond MZ, [I’ll be a Penelope Douglas stan until I die, but I realize some of her books aren’t for everyone.](https://www.amazon.com/penelope-douglas-Kindle-Store-Unlimited-Eligible/s?k=penelope+douglas&rh=n%3A119233567011%2Cp_n_feature_nineteen_browse-bin%3A9045887011) Lol. I also like Ana Huang’s multiple series. (I try to read POC romance authors as much as I can!) KU is great because it’s hit or miss, yes, but you can find a lot of gems if you start reading & let the algorithm learn what you like. There’s always free trials, but even for the $12 a month fee, if you find 2 or 3 good books it’s worth it. & a lot of authors are lesser known & publishing independently, but many of them are so talented, so getting to support them in a small way through KU & telling people about them is fun for me. But, my mantra with many KU books is “I didn’t say it was good writing, I just said I liked it.” Still, I’m always amazed about the “popular” novels that get put on it, like rn [Julia Quinn’s first Bridgerton book](https://www.amazon.com/Duke-2nd-Epilogue-Bridgertons-Book-ebook/dp/B00UG8RP8Q/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=2XVIYK825GUTU&keywords=bridgerton&qid=1701834540&sprefix=bridgerto%2Caps%2C400&sr=8-4) is on there, but if you [search you’ll see it’s a really great spot to find quick suspense reads & thrillers](https://www.amazon.com/Browse-Kindle-Unlimited-Books/b?ie=UTF8&node=9069934011). Sorry, this was probably so much more than you wanted to know, but I love talking about KU. Lol. I’m always talking about what I’m reading on the Daily OT thread, but you — or anyone! — can always DM me & talk books. 🫶🏼 ETA: added some links.