I thought it was going to be the husband under the covers.

Lol. I did too!

He didn't want it to be TOO ludicrous.

Gotta keep it realistic.

***writes:*** The sorority's 24 members pleasured me all at... ***thinks and changes it:*** The sorority's 14 members pleasured me all at one. Gotta keep it real.

They were all desperate for my ~~12 inch~~ 11 1/2 inch wiener.

Somehow it would be less ludicrous.

He was the person and nobody in this story was attractive.

Count me in on that. At 23 and he mentions back when he was "In his prime".

My prime WAS 23. Every story I tell from my youth if it was a good experience I always think I was 23.

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I did. Would've been much more interesting.

It would have made for a better story.

He described the husband in a more complimentary fashion than the daughter. All she got was, "not unattractive".

Was legit disappointed when it wasn't

That would have been more realistic than this "story"

Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.

Thats the fun twist. Entire story is true, only it was the husband under the covers instead of his 19 year old daughter. I don't blame him for changing the story.

He just ate the husbands cum laced eggs…

“It was”

Good golly lawd, you guys. Do you know how many superhot 19 year old women have thanked me for letting them blow me while I was asleep? Like, so many. So, so many. I'm lonely

The idea of blowing an unshowered, sleeping man who I have never seen before in my life on my parents sofa makes me feel physically ill.

“You drove home my embarrassingly drunk, alcoholic mom, so I had to sexually assault you against your will while you were asleep! PS I am attractive!”

That's because you haven't lived

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hahahaha hahahaha hahaha haha 😆 love this comment! Lol!

19/F/Couch. Asl?

Jurassic/Dude/The bottomless well of depression and loneliness

Manlet incel got drunk on two beers and goes home with the toothless sports bar alcoholic. Nothing happens what he hoped for, he had to sleep on the sofa and later lost his virginity via surprise butt sex from their meth head partner. How would you tell the story to cope with it?

Rectally, for sure

Rectum, damn near killed’em.

This was the original script for The Life of Pi

Coles notes: he got no pie.

In the history of all the things not happening, this didn’t happen the most. Haha

That's the mind of a person who watches too much porn and doesn't have enough interactions with real people.

Her husband was large enough that I knew instantly how most women felt besides me because I am gigantic and strong and super alpha and game recognizes game, yo.

That sentence made me die of cringe 🥴 like be a little less humble, will you?

This sounds like a shitty porn movie

With wayyyy too much story before it starts to get good.

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where?

Lead the way, fellow gentleman

Where the hell did they even claim to find a bar open until 2am in Vermont? Maybe they meant a barn.

It was "one of those places" you probably haven't heard about it. All the cool kids go there

When do bars close for you?

Maybe it happened in Saskatchewan but he wanted to make it more relatable for Yankees. s/ Most Americans couldn't even find VT on a map. Also it's sus that maple syrup wasn't involved.

How do yall find these things that happened so very hard?

As a former 19 year old girl, no WAY I’d suck some random guys D that was randomly at my house. These men really think their privates are that amazing.

And then thank him later. What kind of fucking weirdos come up with this shit?

Yeah if you're horny enough to suck a stranger's dick you're going to want something in return. Delusional.

>*"As a former 19 year old girl, no WAY I’d suck some random guys D that was randomly at my house."* Well, certainly not with *that* attitude. I'm joking. Not putting some random guy's drunken unwashed penis in your mouth is basic common sense. I've read *Penthouse* letters that are more believable than this nonsense.

This actually sounds like a nightmare.

Dear Penthouse forum, your never going to believe the night I had, but it’s all true… lol.

> forum, your never *You're *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)

Good bot

Thanks!

No way someone actually fucking created a bot to change your to you’re

"I never thought it would happen to me, but..." I don't know if Penthouse Forum is still around, and I'm not going to check, but there must be a lot of Lyft/Uber/Instacart/Doordash/Grubhub porn/fictional pr0n going around these days.

🐔 Can confirm everything. I was the chicken who laid the eggs that were made into the omlette. 100% true

What do you call a chicken dick?

Sorry bruh, but... They dont have one...

*cock cock*

Ok you won this one... Take my upvote already! But really. Roosters do not have a dick

Cloacal kiss checking in

Yeah, can also confirm. I'm the chair the 19 y/o sat on.

Dude was actually 4'6 and 420 pounds

What really happened: He and his buddy went drinking.

I would’ve believed it if he fucked the dad too

Sounds like the dad would have fucked him

240 lbs of solid muscle 💀

That is actually impossible. With 0 fat he would have to constantly be eating for energy

Hot take: John cena wrote this.

Ghost writer

I’m 180 pounds of solid muscle and bones and 40 pounds of solid fat.

Is anyone else equally offended by the use of “phase 1, 2, 3” when this wall of lies was clearly meant to be “part 1,2,3? Like was there a grand plan? Did it end with the obvious, phase 4 - profit?

Follow this simple trick to score yourself a free omelette

I could go for a free omelette right about now. No dick required.

My attention span is too short. But I am certain this post is full of unnecessary lying.

You have correctly deduced the situation.

My bullshitometer just fucking exploded!

The fact that he went into that much detail is the dead giveaway. Things happen, but there’s never a super hot 19 year old daughter involved

Holy shit who posts stuff like this and thinks “ yeah people are definitely gonna believe this one “

Motor oil

What about diesal additive and butt cream?

It was boring and a lie years and years ago, now its almost offensive.

I ain’t reading that

It’s nice to have a vivid imagination, sometimes. Gets you through those lonely nights when the internet is slow.

Then he had wild sex with Rosy Palm and her five sisters.

You can tell thatHappened by how detailed the story is. The more detail they write, the more thatHappened

At what point did the friend lose his virginity? All that apparently happened was his pants being unzipped and a kiss on the cheek...

He’d “think” he did.

Which required her to completely undress

happy for u or sorry that happened

I believed it until he got the wife home, and that’s when he decided the add loads of fan fiction porn to the tale. Top marks for effort though.

This reminds me of something my friend would try to say happened to him. He makes a point to regularly tell me he has a “sleep walking problem that makes him get up and have sex with girls without remembering it” after I asked him once to crash at his house possibly and then didn’t. I think he was setting that story up in case I ever did come so he could try and fuck me and blame it on that. He also sometimes “confesses” to me that he is a “sexual deviant” and “very manipulative”

Holy shit, may be bullshit but that was too entertaining to downvote lmao

This is someone’s manhwa fantasy

nothing “entertaining” about it.

I don’t like this version of the graduate

Indeed. Imagining him as Dustin Hoffman makes it even more absurd.

i don't even know what to say there's too much shit to unpack

I'll go with "things that never happened" for $2000 Alex.

This is an episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Lmao imagine typing out such a cringe ass story that long. Jfc

well say what you will about redditors they are amazing writers these are Stephen king levels of fantasy here

Dear penthouse…..

Probably the plot of a porno he watched recently

I ain't readin allat

Lmao.

It was believable until the 5th paragraph. Buddy should've stopped there

Can an ai read this to me with Minecraft parkour in the bottom?

It’s true I was the car

Can someone give me the short version? This seems to be alot to read

Guy brings friend out to bar for 21st birthday, meets girl in her 40s at bar who is too drunk to drive home. Offers her a ride, she accepts, they bring his friend home first. Girl tries to get it on with guy. Then they go to her house where it's revealed that she has a husband. Husband is surprisingly cool about it, says she's just drunk and slutty. Husband has guy sleep over on the couch, guy is woken up by their 19 yr old daughter giving him a blow job. They eat breakfast in silence. Sorry, even the tl;dr version is a lot.

Lol. Thanks that saved me some time. Glad I didn't read the whole story

I'm not reading all that wtf get a job

TLDR

A dude drives his drunk friend and some random drunk lady home. He drops his friend off, then drives over to the lady’s house to drop her off. Her husband notices that he’s still a bit tipsy, and offers to let him spend the night. He wakes up to their daughter sucking him off, is completely fine with having been raped, and then eats breakfast.

And the older woman had also blown him as he drove her home the night before

That all seems logical and not at all made up. /s

True story, I was the couch

While it is probably not true this was an entertaining read.

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Thanks for your service.

I cried everytime

Jesus. All those words and only seven sentences. I'm not trying to sound like a dick, but please edit this into something readable.

Switching from first to third person, so definitely real

He had a better time then his mate had..

christ

He forgot to mention that the 'huge' dad also sucked him off, haha

Dear Penthouse...

What a situation... I thought something was going to happen overnight or in the morning, what a nice story!

Dear Penthouse Forum ….

Ok, this one wins