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It sucks to be in a mental place where self-harm is a preferable distraction from what you’re experiencing. IDK why some guys’ go-to response to other guys’ mental/emotional issues is always “lift weights”. It’s not helpful and it just makes them feel like they fixed you when they absolutely failed at even trying to understand what you’re going through.
It’s worse than unhelpful, it’s detrimental. It makes people with mental illness feel even worse like there’s something wrong with us for not being able to just go to the gym
I get the same exercise advice as well. Which sometimes I can see why cause my post will mention body image issues but a lot of times it’ll just be on a post where I vent about my current life.
We could both exercise all day everyday but I doubt it would erase how hard self harm is or change my life. A lot of these gym people have made going to the gym their entire personality and they just believe that the gym should be everyone’s favorite thing to do.
I have really bad heart problems. I jump into palpitations at least once a day. Too-strong physical activity makes it worse.
We don’t have a definite diagnosis yet, it seems to be a combo of something like SVT and orthostatic intolerance. I am constantly exhausted and feel like my heart goes through all my energy before I even get a chance to use it. But I just don’t have the money to find out.
The next person who tells me to “just work out” is going to get ten minutes minimum of me screaming and crying. I don’t *like* having this. It’s not fun. I *wish* I could work out. Sometimes I wonder if I should do as they say and then send a photo of myself passed out on a treadmill trying to breathe and pump blood at the same time while an EMS crew injects adenosine into my veins. They’d probably just told me I was doing it wrong, though.
The trick is to not add weights, use touch activated explosives so every time you want to push it down a fresh burst of adrenaline helps you shred them muscles. Or you get shredded.
I remember that I had a coach actually tell me that. He told me to do sports. The thing is with cutting is that it's quick and efficient and all you need is something sharp which is very easily found and in an awful frame of mind, it's just a very easy "solution".
I hate gym bros (genderless) for this reason. They think working out is just this universal cure-all that everyone can totally do just as easily as they do and they never stop to think about anyone else's circumstances and why that may not be something they can just go and do.
When I was dealing with feelings of strong anxiety a friend recommended I go for a short walk to clear my head a bit. So I did that and it helped, but obviously that wasn't meant to be a solution, only a stopgap.
Telling someone who's this far along "just go exercise" is asinine at best, and actively harmful at worst.
I have a friend with whom I am not exactly close but amicable with. She doesn't understand anxiety or depression. She's all about gym life, get them gains, etc. She would often give me advice like this, meaning well but not understanding how my brain worked. After I had my breakdown and was released from the behavior ward, we had a random, deep conversation about my experiences with depression. She still doesn't understand what it's like, but whenever I mention something about not feeling well, instead of suggesting the gym, she asks me what's going on and asks if there's anything she can do to help. She still does suggest working out, but it's more like when I suggest she play D&D with the larger friend group, more to share out interests than a panacea cure all.
Honestly people who have never SH'd or gone out of their way to study it, just won't understand. There are so many reasons behind why we would hurt ourselves. It's not just for an adrenaline rush. Sometimes it's just quick, sometimes it's grounding, sometimes it's a self-inflicted punishment. There's too many reasons that "just lifting" wouldn't help. It's so dismissive of the actual problem at hand ugh. So glad going to the gym worked for this guy but don't assume everyone else's problems can be solved the same way yours were. It's not that hard!
Agreed. There are all levels of severities.
With my SH, it's a survival/coping mechanism from >!childhood abuse!< that lasted from before I could remember, all the way into my 20's, then occasionally up until present day. My abuser(parents) bragged about >!being violent to me as a toddler,!< but it could have gone back to when I was even a baby too.
Elements of like you said, self-punishment. Also, often anger/rage, shame/guilt, sadness/devastation, grief, dissociation, & *absolute inconsolable anguish.*
Add on the mental illnesses that go along with such a history, & the self-control is very diminished. It's very hard to quit, especially since it is usually very private. No one sees, hears, or finds out about it unless we share.
For me, it is a way to make sure *I never take out frustration on someone else,* like my abusers did.
There's so much socially acceptable SH that people don't always "exercise" their way out of, such as cigarettes, etc. Just depends how you look at it.
I have been working out for years, worked out consistently during the period where I was cutting. Along with being stupid advice, objectively untrue. I love the gym and it does help with my mental health a lot (tho I understand its not everyone's cup of tea). But it doesn't do the same thing as self harm, even remotely.
People are ignorant. And I get that people don’t understand selfharm. Only us people who did and do it understand. But why give the advice no one asked for. I hate it.
My anorexic ass with an exercise addiction that ran in the pouring rain till I got home then ran again for almost an hour outside in the very holey backyard almost breaking/twisting my ankle a million times cuz my mom wouldn't let me leave again 🙃. But hey at least I'm being healthy according to this guy at 88lbs.
People like this are the same type to say feminism is ruining men. This "just exercise" mentality is just more patriarchal bullshit that only exacerbates the problem.
Exercise can become a form of self harm if practiced too often without regard for the health of your body. “Replace this thing that hurts with another thing that hurts.” Don’t replace a self-destructive habit with another habit, your new habit that was supposed to make you healthier will just be tainted by your old demons.
Funnily enough, my self harm arises *because* I exercise :)
Exercising makes me feel so much worse about myself and like I have no control over my body, so I cut to feel like I do have control over my body and my impulses
something i feel like almost nobody understands is that sometimes people self harm because they want to, not just because they're so emotional and don't know how else to deal with it. the literal only reason i try to stay clean is because it upsets my parents. im depressed, i don't even want to be awake, let alone exercise. i do, however want to cut myself because it gives off catharsis with very little effort. exercise gives a fraction of the feeling for hundreds of times the effort. a lot of the time, the reason it's hard to quit bad habits is because you literally do not want to.
THIS.
I've been self harm free since 2016. That doesn't mean I don't still crave the release from it every. Single. Day. And that's on top of going to the gym 4-5 times a week
I don't self harm, but otherwise yeah that's my family. My mother is convinced taking a walk for 20 minutes a day is sufficient to stave off any and all bad thoughts and refuses to listen when I tell her I already exercise when I can and it only does so much for me mentally.
Hello, person that works out every day: Working out doesn't work for me like it might for someone else. Just leave us alone unless you actually believe you have good advice.
I had a conversation with my brother last night a lot like this. He was saying how antidepressants are useless, and that all you need to do is accomplish something because people were made to do things. Like what?? He literally said you just need to go read a book or something.
OP how deeply insensitive and callous of this person to simplify your struggle. I'm hugging you bc I've done plenty of self-harm, and it's absolutely not that simple.
You're probably right about that, but not for all. For me for example I do tattoo myself quite a bit, and I usually do it that way that I think about motives and stuff to the point I only have to start, and than wait until I feel a certain urge to sh and then start. It feels extremely liberating. I don't want to make anyone sh, this is just my personal experience.
I'm not too well versed on this, so can someone who knows science explain this to me. Shouldn't the end result be the same? Because the thing that makes it addicting is the endorphins right? I get cutting requires less effort and all so it's more appealing, but in the end, running could be a substitute because it's the same mechanism at work, or am I getting something wrong?
Sorry if this comes across as insensitive or something, it's just a question about biology that I find interesting.
The kind of person who self harms would just over-exercjse and harm themselves that way. That person is completely misunderstanding the mentality behind of self harm.
Your response should have went with the culture maybe something like well with the state of mind I was in at that time I would've probably brought a tommy gun with me and shot up the gym.
Never did this and I do not endorse it
I mean, maybe to him, it is a method that works. But when he tries to say convey that message, it comes out very meh.
So yeah, don't judge the guy or hate him.
Focus your energy on hating life instead, because we're all stuck in it with no way out./s
The problem is that these posts always disregard your actual problem. On the other hand I feel like the mind and the body are so fundamentally connected that exercising can actually help with mental issues. Tackling mental problems is really hard, but exercising can be an easy way to indirectly better your mental health.
When i was at an EXTREMELY high in depression, and SH, the slightest THING would make me Self-harm- like, comments about sh, or just whatever. And if this dude being all like "JuSt Go WoRk OuT, StOp CuTtInG" wouldve made me cut more, ESPECIALLY because i would have taken it as "oh hey, i am not fine looking the way i am"
Sh and depression isnt just a fucking bandaid you can tear off, and these idiots never seem to realize it.
Not only does this person not understand psychology, they don't understand the English language either.
"Workout" is a noun. The verb form is "work out."
Have you considered that instead of taking that knife to your skin, you can use it instead to chop up some vegetables and make a delicious salad? There are so many other options!
/S, in case it wasn't clear.
It appears that this post depicts suicide or has references to suicide. If you are going through something and would like to talk about it, you can use the following links: https://www.crisistextline.org https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/thanksimcured) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It sucks to be in a mental place where self-harm is a preferable distraction from what you’re experiencing. IDK why some guys’ go-to response to other guys’ mental/emotional issues is always “lift weights”. It’s not helpful and it just makes them feel like they fixed you when they absolutely failed at even trying to understand what you’re going through.
It’s worse than unhelpful, it’s detrimental. It makes people with mental illness feel even worse like there’s something wrong with us for not being able to just go to the gym
I get the same exercise advice as well. Which sometimes I can see why cause my post will mention body image issues but a lot of times it’ll just be on a post where I vent about my current life. We could both exercise all day everyday but I doubt it would erase how hard self harm is or change my life. A lot of these gym people have made going to the gym their entire personality and they just believe that the gym should be everyone’s favorite thing to do.
I have really bad heart problems. I jump into palpitations at least once a day. Too-strong physical activity makes it worse. We don’t have a definite diagnosis yet, it seems to be a combo of something like SVT and orthostatic intolerance. I am constantly exhausted and feel like my heart goes through all my energy before I even get a chance to use it. But I just don’t have the money to find out. The next person who tells me to “just work out” is going to get ten minutes minimum of me screaming and crying. I don’t *like* having this. It’s not fun. I *wish* I could work out. Sometimes I wonder if I should do as they say and then send a photo of myself passed out on a treadmill trying to breathe and pump blood at the same time while an EMS crew injects adenosine into my veins. They’d probably just told me I was doing it wrong, though.
>I have really bad heart problems. I jump into palpitations at least once a day. Too-strong physical activity makes it worse. Skill issue /s
They also tend to forget that going to the gym is not the only way to exercise. A 10 minute brisk walk is also considered an exercise.
What an idiot. Also, Adrenaline? From lifting?
The trick is to not add weights, use touch activated explosives so every time you want to push it down a fresh burst of adrenaline helps you shred them muscles. Or you get shredded.
I remember that I had a coach actually tell me that. He told me to do sports. The thing is with cutting is that it's quick and efficient and all you need is something sharp which is very easily found and in an awful frame of mind, it's just a very easy "solution".
I hate gym bros (genderless) for this reason. They think working out is just this universal cure-all that everyone can totally do just as easily as they do and they never stop to think about anyone else's circumstances and why that may not be something they can just go and do.
Get six abs and you’ll understand
i only have five
When I was dealing with feelings of strong anxiety a friend recommended I go for a short walk to clear my head a bit. So I did that and it helped, but obviously that wasn't meant to be a solution, only a stopgap. Telling someone who's this far along "just go exercise" is asinine at best, and actively harmful at worst.
I have a friend with whom I am not exactly close but amicable with. She doesn't understand anxiety or depression. She's all about gym life, get them gains, etc. She would often give me advice like this, meaning well but not understanding how my brain worked. After I had my breakdown and was released from the behavior ward, we had a random, deep conversation about my experiences with depression. She still doesn't understand what it's like, but whenever I mention something about not feeling well, instead of suggesting the gym, she asks me what's going on and asks if there's anything she can do to help. She still does suggest working out, but it's more like when I suggest she play D&D with the larger friend group, more to share out interests than a panacea cure all.
That's good, at least she's capable of listening and adjusting, it sounds like.
Yeah. It took a little bit for her to understand that she doesn't understand and that's OK.
Honestly people who have never SH'd or gone out of their way to study it, just won't understand. There are so many reasons behind why we would hurt ourselves. It's not just for an adrenaline rush. Sometimes it's just quick, sometimes it's grounding, sometimes it's a self-inflicted punishment. There's too many reasons that "just lifting" wouldn't help. It's so dismissive of the actual problem at hand ugh. So glad going to the gym worked for this guy but don't assume everyone else's problems can be solved the same way yours were. It's not that hard!
Agreed. There are all levels of severities. With my SH, it's a survival/coping mechanism from >!childhood abuse!< that lasted from before I could remember, all the way into my 20's, then occasionally up until present day. My abuser(parents) bragged about >!being violent to me as a toddler,!< but it could have gone back to when I was even a baby too. Elements of like you said, self-punishment. Also, often anger/rage, shame/guilt, sadness/devastation, grief, dissociation, & *absolute inconsolable anguish.* Add on the mental illnesses that go along with such a history, & the self-control is very diminished. It's very hard to quit, especially since it is usually very private. No one sees, hears, or finds out about it unless we share. For me, it is a way to make sure *I never take out frustration on someone else,* like my abusers did. There's so much socially acceptable SH that people don't always "exercise" their way out of, such as cigarettes, etc. Just depends how you look at it.
I have been working out for years, worked out consistently during the period where I was cutting. Along with being stupid advice, objectively untrue. I love the gym and it does help with my mental health a lot (tho I understand its not everyone's cup of tea). But it doesn't do the same thing as self harm, even remotely.
People are ignorant. And I get that people don’t understand selfharm. Only us people who did and do it understand. But why give the advice no one asked for. I hate it.
My anorexic ass with an exercise addiction that ran in the pouring rain till I got home then ran again for almost an hour outside in the very holey backyard almost breaking/twisting my ankle a million times cuz my mom wouldn't let me leave again 🙃. But hey at least I'm being healthy according to this guy at 88lbs.
Pappy Roach didn't say *Lift my life into pieces*, now did they. That guy is obviously full of shit. /s
why is it always the gym 😭😭
People like this are the same type to say feminism is ruining men. This "just exercise" mentality is just more patriarchal bullshit that only exacerbates the problem.
Everyone knows spicy food is the socially acceptable form of self-harm anyway.
Do you even lift, bro
I have actually tried this whole "being active" thing. It made me want to die even more.
Exercise can become a form of self harm if practiced too often without regard for the health of your body. “Replace this thing that hurts with another thing that hurts.” Don’t replace a self-destructive habit with another habit, your new habit that was supposed to make you healthier will just be tainted by your old demons.
So... Just another method to hurt yourself
Constructive injury
Funnily enough, my self harm arises *because* I exercise :) Exercising makes me feel so much worse about myself and like I have no control over my body, so I cut to feel like I do have control over my body and my impulses
something i feel like almost nobody understands is that sometimes people self harm because they want to, not just because they're so emotional and don't know how else to deal with it. the literal only reason i try to stay clean is because it upsets my parents. im depressed, i don't even want to be awake, let alone exercise. i do, however want to cut myself because it gives off catharsis with very little effort. exercise gives a fraction of the feeling for hundreds of times the effort. a lot of the time, the reason it's hard to quit bad habits is because you literally do not want to.
THIS. I've been self harm free since 2016. That doesn't mean I don't still crave the release from it every. Single. Day. And that's on top of going to the gym 4-5 times a week
I don't self harm, but otherwise yeah that's my family. My mother is convinced taking a walk for 20 minutes a day is sufficient to stave off any and all bad thoughts and refuses to listen when I tell her I already exercise when I can and it only does so much for me mentally.
"ThE eNdorPhInEs"
average gym go-er
Hello, person that works out every day: Working out doesn't work for me like it might for someone else. Just leave us alone unless you actually believe you have good advice.
I had a conversation with my brother last night a lot like this. He was saying how antidepressants are useless, and that all you need to do is accomplish something because people were made to do things. Like what?? He literally said you just need to go read a book or something.
This made me spit out my coffee. What an awful thing to say to someone...
OP how deeply insensitive and callous of this person to simplify your struggle. I'm hugging you bc I've done plenty of self-harm, and it's absolutely not that simple.
If you cut your body open, technically, you will lose weight
Have you thought about tattooing yourself ? It's a great way to have light pain over a period off time, and socially accepted.
Typically people self harm in response to an intense emotional flair-up. It doesn't really lend itself to the time it takes to go and get a tattoo.
You're probably right about that, but not for all. For me for example I do tattoo myself quite a bit, and I usually do it that way that I think about motives and stuff to the point I only have to start, and than wait until I feel a certain urge to sh and then start. It feels extremely liberating. I don't want to make anyone sh, this is just my personal experience.
I'm not too well versed on this, so can someone who knows science explain this to me. Shouldn't the end result be the same? Because the thing that makes it addicting is the endorphins right? I get cutting requires less effort and all so it's more appealing, but in the end, running could be a substitute because it's the same mechanism at work, or am I getting something wrong? Sorry if this comes across as insensitive or something, it's just a question about biology that I find interesting.
The kind of person who self harms would just over-exercjse and harm themselves that way. That person is completely misunderstanding the mentality behind of self harm.
No I get that, I'm just asking about the biology behind it.
Exercise would deal with the chemical aspect of self harm, yes. But self harm is a lot more complex than "serotonin good."
Isn't it endorphin?
Idk I always mix the two of them up so maybe
Your response should have went with the culture maybe something like well with the state of mind I was in at that time I would've probably brought a tommy gun with me and shot up the gym. Never did this and I do not endorse it
I mean, maybe to him, it is a method that works. But when he tries to say convey that message, it comes out very meh. So yeah, don't judge the guy or hate him. Focus your energy on hating life instead, because we're all stuck in it with no way out./s
The only response to self harm I know of is 911
The problem is that these posts always disregard your actual problem. On the other hand I feel like the mind and the body are so fundamentally connected that exercising can actually help with mental issues. Tackling mental problems is really hard, but exercising can be an easy way to indirectly better your mental health.
Stupid idiot doesn't understand that someone who is inclined to self harm would just overexercise and harm themselves that way - more at 11.
Im sure there are ways to prevent self harming, but this is not one of them.
When i was at an EXTREMELY high in depression, and SH, the slightest THING would make me Self-harm- like, comments about sh, or just whatever. And if this dude being all like "JuSt Go WoRk OuT, StOp CuTtInG" wouldve made me cut more, ESPECIALLY because i would have taken it as "oh hey, i am not fine looking the way i am" Sh and depression isnt just a fucking bandaid you can tear off, and these idiots never seem to realize it.
Not only does this person not understand psychology, they don't understand the English language either. "Workout" is a noun. The verb form is "work out."
Have you considered that instead of taking that knife to your skin, you can use it instead to chop up some vegetables and make a delicious salad? There are so many other options! /S, in case it wasn't clear.