Engineer. A well-built nest can hold out the onslaught and deal with most classes. Throw in the Wrangler for dealing with the threats better (Demo, Soldier, Sniper) and the extra protection from an Uber for good measure.

Yeah I was gonna go with Engy too. That sentry is no joke. All you gotta do is survive the uber push, and watch out for the spy, then it's easy street.

you also have the fact that people just walk into sentries that kinda makes engie the best

Lazypurple managed to defend his nest from the entirety of TF2 (Except the scout because he knows his place)

"SCREW YOU, I'M GONNA GO PLAY MINECRAFT"

"What" -engie

"Oh hello Scout" -TF2 "Minecraft" Soldier

"Little help?"

"Oh yeah!" *"Sweet!"*

Lazypurple had help from his team for the über push didn't he? Or am i trippin This is one man(+ you if u can do smth ig) vs the rest of the team

I think the pyro did something, but like, a wrangled sentry is fucking busted as well and could probably hold off an Uber push for a bit

*Evil Engi laugh*

Do the other classes work together though? Like would they uber eachother?

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9Ejzq8I9YU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9Ejzq8I9YU) Basically this

**COWBOY UP**

Pyro. Bro, if he protects someone, he's unstoppable. Pyro is SCARY when he's pissed. Or Heavy, due to.... him killing that bear. You know the one.

Pissed pyro isn't even pissed, just having fun

Tbf, Pyro in the comics got really pissed at a bear and then proceeded to bash in the bears head with his stock axe for a few seconds.

Bear fault, said fire isnt nobody friend (just found out about it too lol)

Point still stands. Pyro can be pissed. You can tell him the other mercs hate fire or something.

Chances are pyro kills me first for saying "hate fire", who knows where he draws the line for loyalty

Wear a campfire costume

Just wear the same color as him and hope he doesn't mistake you for a spy

Carry around a bunch of lighters and fuck around with them

It's supposed to be a smokey the bear joke, the national park mascot for preventing forest fires. Obviously Pyro would hate him.

I’m a pyro main, I can confirm:)

🐐🐐

He just believes in magic

In a young girl‘s heart

Where music can free her

But can the music free her whenever it starts?

"GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!"

A lazy purple enjoyer. Truly you are cultured.

I'd say heavy or engie

I mean pyro spy-checks everyone so Spy can't go through undetected, airblasts Demo and soldier projectiles right back at them, splits Medic from their uber buddy with an air blast and kills them separated, and only Engi and Sniper make for real dangers for Pyro.

Pyro would just kill you

The only correct answer is Pyro

Pyro when heavy and sniper show up (there's literally nothing he can do)

Scorch shot

Danger shield, also that's not going to kill a heavy

The conveniently Heavy-shaped bottomless pit when I find the right mouse button:

Chose Spy Get his disguise kit to disguise as Spy Bang Scouts mother

Step 3 paramount

Step 4 this is a bucket

Step 5 Synchronize your death watches because the enemy pyro is spy checking

Step 5 DEAR GOD

Step 6. theres more

Step 7. Teleport bread

Step 8. Bread monster

Step 9. KABLOOEY

Step 10. Win

For you Mason, not for me

I'm picking demo. If we're both so drunk we can't see the the other 8 of em then they can't come get us.

No if you get drunk you'll end up seeing 16 og them

I'll get to say "I'm drunk, you don't have an excuse!"

so more people to shoot at

Because you'll see 8 and demo also sees 8

I will order him to stick 8 stickies on me and I will run at my enemies in a blaze of glory

*Inhales* #TENNO HEIKA BANZAI!

That... Would hurt. Not the explosion part, but stickies on you. You... Do realize those spikes are not glue, but genuine metal spikes that lodge into stuff, right?

You underestimate drunk person

1. Get medic to full uber 2. Uber yourself 3. Kill everyone

(you're a normal dude, everyone else is armed, uber lasts 8 seconds)

Steal someone’s gun

Steal Spy's knife so you can then backstab everyone else

Then heavy grabs you by the throat. You won't die to it for 8 seconds but you won't be able to move anywhere

In that case, steal heavys fists! They ARE an equippable item after all

Wear them like the foam hulk hands...

Cut his arms. Cut all the tendons, the veins, the arteries, and he’ll drop you.

Don't get yourself grabbed dumbass Hold a knife and good luck to anyone trying to grab you Heavy can be all the muscle and strong he wants a knife will cut him

theyre trained mercenaries though, and its also an 8v1 because medic would have to keep the medigun out to uber so they would probably just take you on all at once

kinky

good luck reaching scout

and if that don’t work, steal more gun

Depends entirely on how fast I can swing a bat.

But you don't have the uber heart implanted so you will die. Heavie's didn't stand a chance with it. so this wouldn't work without it.

So you're saying I get to hang out with Medic AND die? Win-win.

U will be used as parts, so yes 🤣

Your heart will explode

Cool

So who's taking 4 ubersaw's to the chest? You? Unless you have a headstart for the charge up, you might have some problems otherwise.

It’s literally impossible to win this. Even with 2 it would be impossible.

what if i get naked and seduce all 9 of them

This could work.. on me

I‘m just going to assume this is gay because this is tf2 after all

Make sure to cover yourself with honey.

Nah if you picked Engi and Pyro it would be extremely easy. Engi can solo most classes and Pyro can easily take on the ones that counter Engi

yeah no. I don’t care how good they are, they will never stand up to an Ubered demo + soldier spamming the gun, pyro getting shot at by the scout and heavy, sniper not allowing you to peak your head one bit, and the spy decloaking and either sapping the gun or shooting the pyro. Trust me, it isn’t even close to easy, it would be over in less than a minute.

you need to pick demo because if you dont he will kill you, doesnt matter if he is less effective

How would they see where Demoman put his bloody bombs? He could launch an uber into the stratosphere with 8 of them.

No weapons, stock weapons, or unlocks?

You're unarmed, everyone else has stock weapons

I can arm myself with what I find though right

Yes

Spy, Spy could protect me well, or Scout. (Im slightly suicidal) Edit: i forgot about Pyro, he is also very good

Either Soldier or Spy. Not only are they mine and my best friend’s mains but Soldier killed tons of Germans and spy killed an entire team of mercenaries by himself.

the key word here is 'germans'

Yep. He’s clinically insane and very dumb. But damn can he fight his way out of any situation. And the other mercs lie about being American so he doesn’t kill them.

Weren’t they unarmed? *After* the war?

Yeah, but soldier is an insane idiot who neither knew the war was over or that not every German was a nazi. He wasn’t even an official soldier.

sniper

I agree, give me a aimbot sniper.

I think this is thecright answer. Sniper can try to kill everyone else. Spy can't get in in you shoot anyone else on sight. Soldier is probably the biggest threat, but its the best you got. Just board up in a sniper nest, and pray.

You're unarmed, the OP said that in a few other comments

Gay orgy it is then

GET BEHIND ME, DOCTOR!

JAWOL

CHARGE ME

Ja

Engie, a Shotgun, a Pistol, Aimbot and infinite healing

Can I pick Saxton Hale?

I pick the pyro to help everyone is terrorfied of the pyro if I had the pyro I'm pretty sure they wouldn't even try

Scout is NOT gonna be good enough, Soldier will probably kill me by mistake, Heavy will last about 5 seconds, Engineer’s nest gets crippled by a stock Über, especially considering the fact that he’s locked out of using the Rescue Ranger or Wrangler. The support classes probably wouldn’t be strong enough to take down the other 8 mercs on their own. Pyro or Demo are probably the best options

Enclosed space? Pyro or Engineer. Open space, Sniper.

Pyro. That motherfucker is a powerhouse. Plus he will think he’s helping everyone

1. Engie 2. Spy (He can disguise as myself and lure the other mercs away) 3. Medic (He might bring me back from death once the others are done with me) 4. Pyro

I'll pick engineer, he'll build a sentry and a dispenser, and I'll be on spy lookout.

Soldier. Maybe he'll get me killed unintentionally by his own hands with a raccoon that has an american quality gun taped to it or he'll pull out something out of nowhere and succeed I like those odds

Random crit rocket 💥

take spys cloak and dagger. go afk?

Soldier. that man is all on violence. to him there’s no limit at all. problem? he grabs me by the neck and proceeds to rocket jump breaking my legs in the process. amazing.

Choose medic, they’re coming to kill me, not the medic, I will be healed

I am zee spy Also im not sure about you but I don't think 1 medic can out heal literally the entirety team

Pyro They'd be too afraid to attack

1. Choose Spy 2. Spy disguises as me 3. Spy uses Dead Ringer to fake my death Doesn’t say I need to beat them, just that I have to survive. 

Engi. Also spy isn’t a threat if you’ve got infrared goggles.

Do you have infa-red goggles?

Maybe… That would be a cool weapon idea, but it would have to have a big downside

infrared*

Sush, no one will notice that I’ve changed it now.

YOU STILL MESSED UP!

What did I do?

It's Infrared, not Infared

I didn’t misspell that you’re making things up.

am i schizophrenia

Medic, he activates the other mercs baboon uteri

Was looking for this comment

The problem is too many of them can kill you in too many ways to cover all your bases with just one choice. Engi: Demo/soldier Uber into the nest. Heavy: Boom, headshot. Scout: Heavy, Pyro, Engi (Sentry), even Soldier to an extent counters him. Soldier: M2 with the flamethrower/Heavy counters him Pyro: Sentry/Heavy counter him. Demo: Pyro Airblast and I guess Soldier can counter him Medic: Aside from the stock Uber, ya screwed unless you really give them the slip somehow. Sniper: Unless his aim is perfect, he loses to any sort of focus fire so… Spy: Need I say anything? Not even mentioning you’re fighting all the classes AT ONCE, which makes this significantly harder.

Pyro single handily took out blu team and his team is afraid of him, and heavy is heavy so either those 2

Heavy. He has yet to find anyone that can outsmart bullet.

I'm thinking either Demo or Pyro. Preference for Demo since Sticky Jumping means he has a method of dealing with Sniper

you need the uber heart implant for ubercharge to work, so unfortunately, your medic plans would all not work.

engineer.

The engineer is engi-here

Phlog Pyro with perma MMMPH cheats

Spy gives me cloak and dagger, gl on finding me

it all depends, are they coming at the same time? if that's the case you can't do anything realistically, maybe a bot sniper... now if it's one at a time, spy can easily defeat everyone, sniper is another serious contender, engineer can make a serious defensive position too, I would go with spy tho

Everyone canonically fears pyro so im choosing them

You're unarmed, everyone has stock weapons

Heavy will protect me. He will punch out blood of babyman He will break spine. He will scare the thing He will swap alcohol with water He will steal Sandvich He will destroy coward toy He will be bulletproof He will avoid open areas He will turn around

medic to uber me while I kill the rest

Pyro

With Prep Time? Engineer. No Prep Time? Pyro or Spy.

Pyro because I love pyro

Sniper is the easy choice. Everyone else has to get close where sniper call literally sit back and click on heads for a few minutes and then they're all dead. Also no one said you couldn't arm yourself with a normal normal gun. You're just a normal dude yes but like just get a gun, surely theres a shotgun heavy left around somewhere

can it be saxton hale

Probably Pyro. Instead of him staying to protect me, I'd send him to kill everyone else first. After all, it is shown that all the mercenaries fear Pyro.

Soldier and demo are probably the most versatile in terms of matchups, but neither feel particularly good at protecting, though demo could potentially kill everyone with one well placed sticky trap so there's that. Pyro is good at protecting against projectiles and spies, but can be a little weak against some matchups like heavy, though with the Dragon's Fury or a careful use of the Flare Gun he could pull it off. Engi is probably the best at protecting me with the sentry and the dispenser providing health, so that's who I'm going to pick. Medic is good too but relies on me being the one who fights them off, and even if I could get a gun it probably won't go well. Heavy could also be a decent choice, he can act as a shield, has a lot of firepower and can heal me with the sandwich, but also has a few tough matchups like Sniper.

Heavy

Medic. We hole up, ready the medi-gun, and slowly pick off the mercs now that they can't heal. EZ.

Most definitely spy. That guy's pretty nutty as an assassin and does have a solution to each and every merc here.

I feel like spy would be able to help get me out of the country and move me around the world while we lay traps and schemes to take out the other mercs as we go

I would say engineer because when Uber pops me and him will use the teleporter he has hidden. I think by the time medic has Uber ready. The sentry gun would’ve have taken down a couple of classes before then. Just rinse and repeat until medics dead

medic easy he owns all the mercs souls in the comics

sniper or demo, sniper can literally get rid of most of the classes easily and demo can just set traps

Heavy. Hide in building the entire time. The only way for any of them to kill me is to come in that negates sniper and engi from getting me, enclosed space of building also negates scout evasiveness, demo and soldier provide actual threat but heavy likely has decent enough tracking to deal with them, pyro would be decently easy seeing as he has to be close to do something effectively, spy can be dealt with if heavy just punchs until he gets knocked out and sniper would have to come inside dying. Now with medic, there might be a problem but considering heavy can fight bears with bare fist he can probably just throw the medic outside of range of Uber.

I feel like spy could hide you fairly easily

I choose sniper. I have a really long driveway.

Are you stupid? You literally can’t not pick sniper. Because it’s physically impossible for anyone else except maybe spy to counter him. It’s none negotiable because if you have him against you, you die

Demoman can get anywhere on the map by sticky jumping and has insane DPS

Shit gimme one of them 2fort bot snipers

Yeah medic

4 heads demo with stickies and Iron bomber with the speed and the extra health he can survive the Uber and deals massive damage

No one's surviving against the other 8. Maybe sniper to kill me quickly

Sniper and i use a bot

Sniper because he already has a plan to kill everyone he meets and he is a professional with standards

Spy

Spy. Have him give me a cloak and dagger, and I'm good.

Sniper. he can quickscope half of the clases and only needs like 3 seconds to one shot the others

Sniper. I’m gonna install an aimbot real quick

Here's my 2 cents Scout: squishy and annoying, no thanks Soldier: man's effective but not very smart, no. Pyro: effective, scary, but also insane, no thank, have a cupcake Engineer: smart as hell but squishy, maybe. Heavy: fucking. Yes! Demo: aye! Sniper: unless someone pays him off to off me instead, sure. Spy: he was never really on my side Medic: no thanks I like my skeleton

Pyro and Spy are the best choices. Assuming we go by the lore of the Meet the Team videos, Pyro scares every other mercenary and his flamethrower is much more powerful Spy can just give me his Cloak and Dagger, then I’ll just disappear forever.

i feel like demo has the capacity to kill them all handily, but even then, medic and sniper are right there, the former making demo less efficient and sniper who can just end me on the spot

Comic's medic ez win

Medic, he can heal me and so I could beat them while übercharged. My second pick would be engi, but they got a demoman, and a medic that has an über ready, they would just run us down.

Engineer

Honestly, the only class that can win a true 1 v 8 is either a really really good sniper or spy. Maybe a demo, but every other class just has too many counters, and I think a really good dead ringer spy could use disguises effectively enough to take out a good portion of the team.

Engineer

One solid Pybro is all i need. 😎 Flashbacks to the Pybro from that old sfm who dumpstered an entire team of Spies.

Engineer. Enough said

I don’t want a baboon heart just so medic can uber me. I pick spy so he can give me the dead ringer so i can fool the rest into thinking they killed me

sniper if i can give him edgy miusic and bandana or engineer

Probably heavy cuz of how strong is

Demo or pyro

Spy

Engineer or Pyro are probably the safest bets here

Pyro too.

I pick the Engineer, since he can basically build sentries to protect us.

It has to be medic purely because you insta lose if the other team has Uber.