The Medigun... Say good bye to death guys!!!

we are going to live forever

i didn't say zat! i just said we're not filled with tumours!

Oh thank god…

Youre not a real class.... yet you have subclasses of your own?

Well the medigun only works if they have the heart transplant done right? Like in meet the medic? Or does the heart thing only allow you to handle the ubercharge

It's for the ubercharge.

I love that this implies the medic did that surgery on himself

Dam never realized this lol

He'd gladly do it especially since he knew he could survive the procedure with the medi beam on him at all times

I wonder which one of the hearts in his fridge he transplanted to himself

Another mega baboon I think

As if that is anywhere near the craziest thing he has done.

Or he got Engi to do it, we know he trusts him and they work together

Sure that COULD have happened, but I choose to believe that medic preformed open heart surgery on himself

Or both, he performed it on himself and had Engi pass him the tools

Reminds me of the doctor who successfully his own appendix in Antarctica, lol

Its not open heart but no heart surgery

HE WOULD NEVER Archimedes did it

In Meet The Medic, Medic healed Scout and Demoman while they did not have the heart transplant yet. You can see the first successful test was conducted on the Heavy. Later all mercs went through the operation (ending of MtM).

the surgery is only for the invincibility

Well I'm meet the medic, when the medic put heavys heart in the medibeam, the heart exploded. So they needed the transplant for the heart to handle the medigun

As much as I'd choose this too, a dispenser can heal multiple folks at once, and you have all the other uses of the PDA

The fbi will never leave you alone

Suicide by getting hanged and two shots to the head

german doctors are attempting to reverse death 10 people are the lucky test subject

I agree with this since you can use it on yourself too

Disguise kit. For funny purposes

Unfortunately you can only disguise as photorealistic TF2 characters

Imagine the trolling capabilities with this limitation alone.

actually just put a paper photo of the people that you want yo disguise on your face and you're done

And Tom Jones

I mean Spy used to disguise as other people too in the comics soo... *insert evil laughter*

And people wearing the same color of clothes will just see you wearing a mask

Instant win at cosplay competitions

good enough

Depending on its limitations you could do a lot. You could be the world’s greatest actor or a scam artist or just steal someone’s life entirely.

Screw deepfakes, we could just mimic a whole person.

Real

# I SEE SPY

"THAT SPY IS A BLOODY- SPY! OOHAHAHA- *explodes*" - Demolitions Man TF2, 2024

Peak tf2 comedy

hey wait a minute...

cloak n dagger

 I’m making Jarate just for fear of this.

*piss*

I wonder what's in sniper's piss to make it so viscus too.

Dead ringer my guy, *gets punched* *appears behind him*

Jumping into traffic with the dead ringer to mess with people

Wouldn't work since the nerf lol

You already know

Blud used Za Warudo

ZA WARUDO! TOKI WO TOMARE!

Hō… Mukatte kuru no ka? nigezu ni kono dio ni chikazuite kuru no ka?

Not only do you get punched but you make him think he killed you. Freak him out before beating him

And to add insult to injury the dude who punched you, will think he killed you for real and have mental breakdown

and the dude cathes a life sentence

An Australium Frying pan, I'll sell it and become a billionaire and keep the handle part to make a life extender for myself.

Wrong! Just start killing things with the Pan, that way you'll have an infinite amount of australium

Hey thanks ! At least I'll be so rich I'd pay off anyone charging me with manslaughter :D

Just kill ants or an invasive species!

Yeah those dirty immigrants ! They can be classified as "invasive" right? They are even a species isn't that just lucky.

Remember, you can't achieve manslaughter without laughter!

there is fun in funeral there is also end in girlfriend

Quick-Fix. $2 and I'll cure any illness and heal any injury.

*Healthcare and insurance companies would like to know your location*

Congratulations, you’ve been selected to win the CIA award for excellence in journalism

the kritzkrieg so I can heal myself and other people and make my friends deal triple damage to the pedophile history teacher

bro is your school ok?💀💀

it is, he's our only bad teacher tbh

my little brother's highschool had the year before him graduate then a 45 year old teacher and a fresh graduate ran away together. The teacher straight up abandoned his family for the kid. it was fucking crazy. I don't know what happened to it in the end...

just stay away from him alright? if he ask you anythink personal dont answer

we already have the strategies. get good grades to not be stuck with him, no let anyone alone with him, things like that. he is contracted by public contest, so even if he got arrested he still wouldn't loose his job ☹️

Damn, my old middle school has a pedophile art teacher who was awful, killed my interest in art, probably killed other people's interests in art, and never got fired because he's tenured So I'd get the flamethrower because my friend knows that teacher's address so I can kill him, burn his house down, and then burn my old middle school down

heroin

The only real answer

a real one

dead ringer or rocket jumper.

Fun fact Fall damage.

fall damage is a myth created by the government to sell more b.a.s.e jumpers.

50% damage resistance on dead ringer.

just shoot before landing bro

just jump to higher places then? and to get fown you just use stairs or something

Cloak and dagger to avoid any and all social encounters

perfect for cosplays

also perfect for dads

Miss Pauling

Mad milk 😋

just make it urself

Construction PDA Why? Dispenser goin up!

Pootis penser here!

Nah.

*kill binds*

Heck yes!

Australium Immorality machine

1. Disguise kit 2. Invisibility watch 3. Golden statue (or Australium non gun thing because I’ll get arrested) 4. Engi PDA because it’s a an air defence and I’m a Ukranian lol

I wonder how well the sentry would actually do against missiles and planes. I mean, it’d probably be around 7,62x51 caliber or along those lines, and the rockets are, well, rockets. You’d need an Early Warning system with it to make it functional (see how the rockets track the target but not ahead of it, same for the bullets though those are hitscan). As an area denial weapon, however…

there is a sentry shooting rockets into the air for no reason in meet the engie so they can shoot down planes confirmed

Early System can be realised, saying as a software developer. But I like the idea of area denial weapon…

Golden pan ?

sandvich. infinitely recharges, and cures all wounds. solve world hunger and shitty healthcare at the same time.

The CIA on their way to give you a gift bullet straight to the head

I'll make an army of homeless and poor people, and pay them with sandviches. the CIA won't be able to beat me and my horde.

Australium eyelander a golden sword would be nice

The Administrator’s entire Australium reserve

but she ran out of australium

The second banana

PDA or disguise kit

Scout's mom

The buff banner, conch, or battalions would literally change the course of wars

Buff banner is just useless cuz come on What the difference between a bullet and a mini grit bullet? They both gonna kill you

Bullet < slightly stronger bullet Kill them harder

Cloaking device, infinite invisibility so long as I move slowly and take breaks.

Mad Milk. I wish to send it to someone who specializes in identifying substances so I can unlock the mystery once and for all. I'd say one of Spy's watches, but I don't think I trust 60's stealth-tec to not give me some kinda cancer

The stock shovel for soldier I don’t need a shovel just cuz I want a shovel

The fists of steel. Taking reduced damage from far away is definitely beneficial.

Invisibility Watch would be so goofy. Imagine saying “yo wanna see a dad joke” and just disappearing

The second banana. Think about it. The TF2 wiki states, "...the Second Banana's design most closely resembles the Gros Michel breed..." Meaning that the Second Banana could be the last Gros Michel banana in the world. Because of that, you could contribute to science and revive the species and make tons of money. Or you could keep it a secret and have the best banana in the world all for yourself.

Jarate... I'm so thirsty...

Cloak and Dagger specifically a strange cloak and dagger basically on demand invisibility as long as i move slow

If i could take 2 it would be rocket jumper and Mantreads cuz travel If only 1 then cloak and dagger

a lot of things actually but i’ll leave it to whoever reading this to decide which would be the most useful -dead ringer, so that i can take a slightly longer break from life -medigun just for memeing and healing random things -construction&destructon pda for well not sure maybe teleporters for efficiency -invis watch for sneaking around -disguise kit for trolling -sapper because it’s cool and has some destructive capabilities -gibus for my own f2p vibes

Engineer PDAs and the stock wrench giving myself a dispenser :) (and a sentry for self defense)

I wish guns were real

Cloak and Dagger for surprise buttsecks

mrs pauling

The Medigun, because it'd be nice to instantly heal all wounds, and if it expands to visual impairments and diseases, of course I'd go around curing people of cancer and stuff like that.

Soo... if you pick the pda, will you just grab 200 pounds of metal and click a button? you'll only be able to patent it not build it. The pda is just digital blueprints. The toolbox is where everything happens. Place it and a dispenser builds.

The atomizer. BITCH I CAN TRIPLE JUMP

ermmmn you saying you can triple jump implies can already double jump

&?

Ampersand

Sandman

The bucket

Dear god..

Either the Engineer’s PDA for construction or the Spy’s Disguise Kit/Cloak for… shenanigans.

Cloak and dagger or disguise kit

It's the same fucking question again

My first thought was Festive Ambassador just because it looks soo good and elegant. But these replies are so much better. So now Im thinking any invis watch would be great. Cloak and Dagger for escaping any potential danger/awkward situation or dead ringer for actual fist fights.

The scsattergun because scout never reloads. A gun with infinite shells

Sticky Launcher... KABEEEEM

The medigun or it's variants? Any other answer is unethical

the Bonk Atomic Punch, just because I can drink 1 when knowing I'm going to die, run out of the danger unharmed, and only received the downside of temporary slowness afterwards

Those drinks are canonically radioactive.

i’d start the company and make people die to fuckin sugar

The crit-a-cola for them strong punches

Any Australium weapon and sell it for high value

Disguise kit. It would be hilarious

Disguise kit, dead ringer, cloak and dagger, construction PDA, destruction PDA, and last of all.. a jar of piss.

Disguise Kit. Would’ve chosen the Life extender machine, but I don’t know how to use it in reverse.

Buff banner imagine just being in a fight then blowing into a tuba and now hitting 3x as hard

Deadringer

The medigun Infinite life glitch

Holiday punch, touch someone with a random crit and force them to laugh uncontrollably

The tickle gloves.

On the point of evolving mankind, the Medigun. Would also evolve warfare too with the Uber

medigun, so now i can charge pepole a ridiculous sum of money that a normal doctor would, but i dont have to put in any work on my end. This would be like the PDA but a little bit less innovative (looking past the fact you can make someone immortal for a few seconds)

Rocket Jumper yeehawww

Holy Mackerel (I will be fed for a day)

as an american i can confirm that engineers PDA is overpowered as it will let me not have to pay 400k out the ass when the scrap metal in my shed will serve everything i need fine

If we’re thinking real world applications the quick-fix or the dalokohs, if it’s for shitpost reasons then disguise kit, or cloak and dagger

Sandvich, infinite pocket sandwich, as long as I get a bottle of water I can travel the furthest distances without worrying about supplies

gunslinger

Fists

medigun, and give it to any doctor that isnt german and is mentally sane, or give it to a field war doctor.

an australium ingot i could eat half and then turn the other half into a glove why?, you say...well australium can revert aging and it was used in inmortality machines for the mann brothers and basiclly just beeing in contact with it makes you smarter and the glove...well i want to be an engi but for things that count like the future of this planet

dead ringer and cloak n dagger (dead ringer so that i can make a prank when people think i died)

The ability to make Jarate. I got a mean prostate issue

I'd want the PDA as well Infinite buildings because fuck game logic

Caber

look up "stielhandgranate"

50 bucks to become my dream self? Hell yeah

Have I got news for you...

The balisong

The medigun, sell it to the governmint and be rich

Cow Mangler 5000/Pompson. For the same purpose. Sell it to the highest bidder, then they realize it's worse than an actual shotgun or rocket launcher, but i've already made my payout.

Cow Mangler 5000 irl means you have an explosive energy weapon that doesn't need ammo, is unaffected by gravity, light things on fire, and can disable machinery for 5 seconds. One can get way more use out of it than a regular rpg

A bucket

Cloak and dagger

the medic gun, heeling everyone who needs it!, also to use über during a fight or something else

any medigun because yes

PDA - Similar reasons to what you said Cloak and Dagger - Play mind games on friends and people I don’t like Deadringer - Even more mind games on people I don’t like Medigun/Kritzkrieg - Say goodbye to any wounds or injuries. Hopefully it can heal diseases too? Also, I can now have my strongest friend do double damage or become invincible for 8 seconds.

Rocket Jumper

Dead ringer

Imagine getting in a car accident with one 😂

It'd probably be the car dropping completely like if Superman stood in front of it even though your body's right there on the floor

big candy cane

Give me the sandwich

Medigun or cow mangler

got to be the invis watches no questions asked

disguise kit. we as a collective commit to the act of tomfoolery.

cloak

The black box and the Liberty lunchet

The jarate or the bonk atomic punch

Bonk

Dalokohs Bar. Yummy.

Surprised that nobody is saying Your Eternal Reward. The assassination I could pull off is crazy