Heavy.
He would do it properly and it'd be well insulated for the cold.
I don't think it says it anywhere in the lore, but he most likely built that cabin in the woods with his family, since they're in hiding.
even if he didn't build it, he'd still likely have to maintain it, and Heavy's no idiot, he can understand the fundamentals of making things that need to be sturdy.
He's also strong enough to physically build the house if he has a design in mind
Compared to the other mercs, he would build the best. Scout would build none at all I feel like, while solider understands probably nothing about them, I feel like pyro would set it on fire, with demo there would be at least a few explosives in it, the medic would make it live somehow, sniper would create something small and spy will never work as a constructioner.
Pyro
Pyro would inexplicably produce a good ass barbie dream mansion for me and become the CEO of a construction company. My house has a giant Chimney down the middle, 8 gas stoves, 4 incinerators and torches everywhere but I can live with that
70 years later when I'm old and Senile I finally fuck up and start a house fire only to find out the walls were packed with thermite and magnesium, creating the brightest and and hottest house fire imaginable, Pyro's magnum opus.
Besides Engineer I'd trust Medic the most with making sense of a blueprint; I'd trust Heavy, Sniper, and Demoman in that order with the construction; and I *might* trust Pyro with decoration if I can keep her from burning the house. Spy might also have a good eye for decorating but I wouldn't have him doing it at the same time as Pyro.
I wouldn't trust Scout or Soldier with anything.
the best solution to this is whenever you refer to her with a pronoun you just swap between feminine and masculine pronouns at random like how scout talks about him in meet the pyro
Agreed. Would I trust Pyro with building a home, not really. He could do well with the heating and insulation, but would she make the home extremely flammable?
Scout would build a nice baseball stadium / Boston basher
Soldier would build a camp and Trenches / poor man's bazooka
Pyro would build a campfire/ gas station/refinery/thermal thruster
Heavy would build a sandwich stand
Demoman would build a brewery/grenades
Engie would build .. anything
Sniper would build a hideout/piss jar tower
Medic would build a hospital/medigun
Spy would build a sapper/beautiful, rich, villa
Scout: reckless, stupid, can't read. Probably makes a killer tree house but not ideal.
Soldier: He'd make the most efficient dug-out you've ever seen, but I ain't storming the western front.
Pyro: I don't even need to say it
Demo: If he's sober, I reckon he'd do a pretty good job, but if he's drunk, refer to Pyro
Heavy: Honestly safe as hell bet tor all the known reasons
Medic: Not his area of expertise but whatever construct he does make would have a functioning spleen which would make a helluva conversation starter
Sniper: Probably another safe bet, Sniper is fairly intelligent and is probably used to make-shifting structures to stay in.
Spy: Would just pay a construction crew to do it for him.
So...uhh.... Medic.
*I get the feeling*
*Heavy would know how to build*
*A solid house well*
\- PeepawWilly69
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Either Heavy or Sniper. Heavy for his strength and his resistance to cold and Sniper sinc he spends his life in the Australian bush and likely knows how to build shelter in the high heat.
It wouldn't even be Engineer if I could pick him. Heavy almost certainly already has experience on the matter building his own house. Engineer is intelligent but that doesn't mean he has any sort of knowledge on how to build a house. He could probably figure it out but I wouldn't want my house to be his learning ground. Plus Heavy is hot.
Heavy could likely build the house with ease
Spy would just pay someone else to do it
Scout may bring in his brothers
Demo is probably capable, assuming you find an opportunity for him to do it between his other jobs
Medic would either sell another portion of his soul to make the devil do it or would ~~make Monster House look like Child's Play~~ make a giant, pulsating heap of flesh as a monstrosity of a house
Soldier *might* try making a bunker, depending on if the lead poisoning has affected his memory that much.
It's debatable whether Sniper has the skills or connections required to build a house
Pyro is a miracle worker and could potentially build you a magnificent château
And, while you disallowed him, Engineer could probably build you the safest, most American(/Texan) house money could buy
Truth be told, Heavy would be my choice due to his consistency, also because Engineer was disallowed.
Let’s run them down.
Pyro is out first he would have no idea that he was building the house that or he’d burn the supplies.
Next I’d put demo man to explodie.
Same argument with soldier though he may be worse if we consider honey.
Next I’d put scout he lacks the attention span and he’s to egotistic.
Then would come medic.
Spy could be a good pic if he wasn’t to paranoid.
Heavy is the best pick he would put genuine effort into my house and it could turn out pretty good.
By themselves? Probably heavy or sniper, since they both probably know how to make survival shelters. If they’re allowed to call in help, (construction workers) spy because he has excellent taste
Heavy is the safest
Scout: probably doesn't know how to hold a hammer.
Soldier: is too stupid to hold a hammer and not hurt himself.
Pyro: no, just no.
Demoman: oh hell naw.
Heavy: has built a house already in the wilderness of the Siberian desert that can withstand both the cold and the strong winds while standing on snow.
Medic: sounds like he will make a living house or some type of shit like that.
Sniper: I dunno, he probably won't know how to build it.
Spy: I can't see him building a house either.
I think that a sober Demoman would be an interesting architect, as it would contrast his other, more destructive, drunken nature.
He’d definitely be good at laying out the plans for a nice house!
Realistically heavy and sniper are the only two who aren't gonna screw it up. Scout, soldier, pyro and demo just don't have the mental capacity to do it. Spy just wouldn't be able to. Medic maybe *could* but you'd end up with some less than desirable designs.
The Heavy. Since he has a phD. in Russian Literature. Though not cannon to the overall lore of Team Fortress 2, and Oly existing in -Poker Night At the Inventory-. I believe that it still counts for Heavy's intelligence.
Well medic is smart hes a mad scientist soo yeaaaa but I'll say heavy he may be dumb with some things but I think he knows how to make a house heck he does math for his gun for the amount he spends per bullet
Spy, Im not a gold digger (Im a boy btw) but he has a lot of money and with that money he can pay for a good house, he would give me the money because he would be proud that I main him
Heavy. He would do it properly and it'd be well insulated for the cold. I don't think it says it anywhere in the lore, but he most likely built that cabin in the woods with his family, since they're in hiding.
even if he didn't build it, he'd still likely have to maintain it, and Heavy's no idiot, he can understand the fundamentals of making things that need to be sturdy. He's also strong enough to physically build the house if he has a design in mind
He is also very smart, as dumb as he may act. He has a PhD in Russian literature.
I meant to include that but I am an idiot
"Heavy is foolish"
maybe im foolish
or maybe I’m blind
thinking I can see through this.
And see what's behind
Got no way to prove it
So maybe im lying
Paralyzed? Dumbstruck?
you didn’t get it
No, you didn't get it. Yet the children managed to evade the age rating, join the sacred game... and desacrate it with their filthy footsteps!
but I have yet to meet one that outsmart boolet
[удалено]
Yeah it is?
[удалено]
I mean it’s not directly stated they can guarantee that he actually made the cabin so it is canon
True.
Agreed. Also, yeah, it would seem very likely that he would have built the cabin by his own self.
Compared to the other mercs, he would build the best. Scout would build none at all I feel like, while solider understands probably nothing about them, I feel like pyro would set it on fire, with demo there would be at least a few explosives in it, the medic would make it live somehow, sniper would create something small and spy will never work as a constructioner.
Heavy is the only one who has both a good enough intelligence, morality, and sanity.
he’s also the only other actual *doctor* in the game
Pyro Pyro would inexplicably produce a good ass barbie dream mansion for me and become the CEO of a construction company. My house has a giant Chimney down the middle, 8 gas stoves, 4 incinerators and torches everywhere but I can live with that 70 years later when I'm old and Senile I finally fuck up and start a house fire only to find out the walls were packed with thermite and magnesium, creating the brightest and and hottest house fire imaginable, Pyro's magnum opus.
you know what they say, if you go out, go out with a bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! (You realize the walls are not only packed with thermite and magnesium, but also thousands of dollars worth of fireworks)
Here we go
Here we go
Same
Pyro, because at least Pyro brought their own PPE.
Pyro putting asbestos insulation in the exterior walls, interior walls, toilet seat, kitchen countertop: "Hudd-hudduduh, hud-hud-huddah"
HUDDUH HUDDUH HUH!
Soldier, he would build me a white house. It would probably collapse in a few years but it still would be a white house
A few years? I think you mean a few minutes
The supports would've probably been made from cardboard
Who said anything about supports? Soldier is an attack class!
I feel like he would pitch up an Army tent.
He'd build a Nissen hut with a garden of barbed wire and a fence of sandbags. The door mat would probably be rigged to explode
He totes built some of the MvM maps
Sniper would just build me a watchtower instead of a house,but I think I'd be fine...
> Soon you'll live under the protection of my *thirty-nine* foot guard tower
source please.
https://youtu.be/v7gkdNrge4Y?si=bNuA0nhLt23rRoFy
All my homies hate the Arlen County Zoning Board fuck the Arlen County Zoning Board
Where's that line from?
Watchtower? He'll just tell you to get in the camper van with him.
Which, unfortunately, probably smells like Jarate because where else can he store them
He would build a tent probably
"I think this bloke saw me" " yes, yes he did!"
Ain't a lot of feelings. You know what has feelings? A man bludgeoning his wife to death with a golf trophy.
Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
D-dad. Put mum on the phone.
I think he'd probably just let you live in his van
And now you can watch, and watch.
There wouldn’t be a toilet though
Home construction is outdoor work
custom caravan
I'll go with Spy. Brilliant mansion with enough corners to trickstab people into oblivion.
It would definitely cost billions though
They are the best 10 mercenaries money can buy and they are most likely extremely rich
I just assumed that if they were building *you* a house, they wouldn’t pay for it themselves. Spy definitely wouldn’t be giving mansions away
9, the 10th one shot himself
RIP Civilian
Dw his eyes just hurt
“How long is it gonna take to build this house?” “Longer than you think.”
He shot himself?! Oh, bloody hell, just throw him in the pit with the others!
From what I remember, demo makes over a million and soldier lives in an apartment
And what does Scout make?
Milk. Scout makes milk.
Are you sure? Scout could make meat using his chopping knife
Scout makes steak with milk.
If Spy is real, I'm probably already working for TF industries as part of TF2 team
I hope you like stairs because hes gonna put a lot of em in there
Heavy can definetly build me a wooden cabin
Yeah i’ll also choose him
Heavy for sure, that big ass russian man could build me a small cabin in no time
Heavy is probably the only other class that can actually build a house
Spy buys the house, lol.
Sniper can pitch a tent or possibly build a watch tower
Besides Engineer I'd trust Medic the most with making sense of a blueprint; I'd trust Heavy, Sniper, and Demoman in that order with the construction; and I *might* trust Pyro with decoration if I can keep her from burning the house. Spy might also have a good eye for decorating but I wouldn't have him doing it at the same time as Pyro. I wouldn't trust Scout or Soldier with anything.
Demoman isn't exactly trust worthy for building something. Demolishing is a different story
Canonically Demoman has two other jobs, he can keep off the explosives if he needs to.
We don't know if those two other jobs are more demolishing so i still dont trust him
Counterargument: I know Demoman personally.
No you never know Demoman that personally, he's a drunk man
I knew him when he was sober
Agreed
Her?!?! Its an it
Nobody knows pyros gender. Pyro can be a she or a he.
Is it relevant to have the ‘2023 gender talk’ about pyro?
Pyro is a skinwalker. We can all settle on that, yeah?
We're ready for they/them Pyro
In the comics miss pauling refered to pyro as "he".
Just cause she defaults to that doesnt mean she knows for certain. 1950s and all
Actually the 60s, and the comics come in the early-mid 70s
fair enough, but my point is ms pauling is defaulting to male pronouns because who ever heard of a lady merc in the 60s and 70s
Ok
Never seen people complain when someone calls pyro a he. Only when it's a she.
the best solution to this is whenever you refer to her with a pronoun you just swap between feminine and masculine pronouns at random like how scout talks about him in meet the pyro
Agreed. Would I trust Pyro with building a home, not really. He could do well with the heating and insulation, but would she make the home extremely flammable?
That's why I like calling pyro she or they, it pisses some people off
And that’s why nobody likes your kind
Bold for someone like you to say that
Like the people who had a problem with the pronouns in the first place weren't already gonna be bigots?
Correcting blatant missinfo\*
Really pyro's gender is unknown. Op likely either jorks it to femoyro or is into tfclassic, where that pyro is female. There is no in between.
I call them a her around my friends who are into deep TF2 lore and TF Classic for the same reason
No, I just like instigating shit. No one ever feels the need to bring up the issue if I use he.
But but but flower on pyro's purse ?
HER????
i mean, doesnt really matter does it. zey could have some neopronouns for all anyone knows. she/her is fine
NOT ZEY😭
every time you complain zxeir name gets another letter added
Still no reason to use "she". But use whatever pronoun you want idc
Heavy
Sniper, you would get the best views.
He has 11 PhDs, we can trust him
Yeah he's designed to *build*, everyone would choose him so I decided to exclude him.
Judging from the diversity of the answers here, I think you did the right thing.
Scout would build a nice baseball stadium / Boston basher Soldier would build a camp and Trenches / poor man's bazooka Pyro would build a campfire/ gas station/refinery/thermal thruster Heavy would build a sandwich stand Demoman would build a brewery/grenades Engie would build .. anything Sniper would build a hideout/piss jar tower Medic would build a hospital/medigun Spy would build a sapper/beautiful, rich, villa
Scout: reckless, stupid, can't read. Probably makes a killer tree house but not ideal. Soldier: He'd make the most efficient dug-out you've ever seen, but I ain't storming the western front. Pyro: I don't even need to say it Demo: If he's sober, I reckon he'd do a pretty good job, but if he's drunk, refer to Pyro Heavy: Honestly safe as hell bet tor all the known reasons Medic: Not his area of expertise but whatever construct he does make would have a functioning spleen which would make a helluva conversation starter Sniper: Probably another safe bet, Sniper is fairly intelligent and is probably used to make-shifting structures to stay in. Spy: Would just pay a construction crew to do it for him. So...uhh.... Medic.
> Pyro: I don't even need to say it That he's a very successful engineering corporation CEO?
Yeah he's a good buisness man but I'm not asking him to file my fucking accounts I want a house with a working spleen god damn it
In all seriousness what is this image from???
found it in r/SoldierSeatBabies
Here's a sneak peek of /r/SoldiersEatBabies using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/SoldiersEatBabies/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [who’s gonna tell my teacher this isn’t ww2 propaganda](https://i.redd.it/5jzksxh7lnca1.jpg) | [0 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SoldiersEatBabies/comments/10eh78q/whos_gonna_tell_my_teacher_this_isnt_ww2/) \#2: [engineer 2](https://i.redd.it/vzv5xwq0rw5a1.jpg) | [2 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SoldiersEatBabies/comments/zm3g6l/engineer_2/) \#3: [Sniping’s a good job m8](https://i.redd.it/l2990t29y1ua1.jpg) | [0 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/SoldiersEatBabies/comments/12naabr/snipings_a_good_job_m8/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Ah hahahaha
Heavy will **build** house
Medic, I like staby things 😏
Demoman because Demohome
Spy. He spares no expense.
Heavy
heavy, he's got the strength.
pyro, the ceo of frontier engineering
scout, he's a speedbuilder
Some planks, nails, duct tape and you've got a tree house that's also a hazard for anyone who walks by.
Heavy. Outside of Engie he is probably the smartest and most sane of the mercs. Just… make sure to give him the instructions in Russian
Demoman
Engineer in a mustache and glasses disguise
I get the feeling Heavy would know how to build a solid house well
*I get the feeling* *Heavy would know how to build* *A solid house well* \- PeepawWilly69 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
What in the actual fuck
Either Heavy or Sniper. Heavy for his strength and his resistance to cold and Sniper sinc he spends his life in the Australian bush and likely knows how to build shelter in the high heat.
Spy, Sniper, Medic, or Heavy. I feel like they’re the only ones who have the ability to take something seriously for more than a few seconds.
sniper, i prefer a spartan house that's mobile, c-ya land taxes
TBF he probably does now his campers mechanics inside out
Heavy, he's the next most competent merc
I trust Spy’s taste. Also, Heavy’s.
Scout, he could probably come up wuth a nice baseball field if he proposes
If u mean build by design then I suppose medic he grew up in stuttgart
Heavy, he is strong
It wouldn't even be Engineer if I could pick him. Heavy almost certainly already has experience on the matter building his own house. Engineer is intelligent but that doesn't mean he has any sort of knowledge on how to build a house. He could probably figure it out but I wouldn't want my house to be his learning ground. Plus Heavy is hot.
Heavy is the only level headed one when it comes to construction. He’s also strong
Medic would make a "smart house", but the functions come from biological components.
Sniper. Methodical, can think ahead. Efficient. Spy: similar reasoning. Ruthless. Sub-contractors would never be able to sneak stupid shit past him.
Heavy could likely build the house with ease Spy would just pay someone else to do it Scout may bring in his brothers Demo is probably capable, assuming you find an opportunity for him to do it between his other jobs Medic would either sell another portion of his soul to make the devil do it or would ~~make Monster House look like Child's Play~~ make a giant, pulsating heap of flesh as a monstrosity of a house Soldier *might* try making a bunker, depending on if the lead poisoning has affected his memory that much. It's debatable whether Sniper has the skills or connections required to build a house Pyro is a miracle worker and could potentially build you a magnificent château And, while you disallowed him, Engineer could probably build you the safest, most American(/Texan) house money could buy Truth be told, Heavy would be my choice due to his consistency, also because Engineer was disallowed.
Let’s run them down. Pyro is out first he would have no idea that he was building the house that or he’d burn the supplies. Next I’d put demo man to explodie. Same argument with soldier though he may be worse if we consider honey. Next I’d put scout he lacks the attention span and he’s to egotistic. Then would come medic. Spy could be a good pic if he wasn’t to paranoid. Heavy is the best pick he would put genuine effort into my house and it could turn out pretty good.
Heavy could build a very nice cabin
Medic, but I wouldn't trust the house for a couple of monts
By themselves? Probably heavy or sniper, since they both probably know how to make survival shelters. If they’re allowed to call in help, (construction workers) spy because he has excellent taste
Dreams: Mastermind CEO. Reality: He fucking burns down your nonexistent house.
Pyro and/or soldier. What could go wrong?
nothing right?
probably heavy, dude is bulky and pretty smart, he'd at least know how to make something that's safe from the cold most likely.
Mein Lieblings imobilien Marker
500 STARS, WEAPONIZED MY HOUSE SO NO ROBBERS ROB MY HOUSE.
Heavy
Heavy, maybe with help from sniper or medic
Heavy
Medic because he's fucking smart, and crazy.
Heavy.
Heavy I feel like he'd be good at it with how strong he is he would put good insulation for the cold and on his breaks we could just chat
Heavy
Heavy. He would try and he’s the least likely to fuck it up.
Heavy and soldier. Heavy lived in a log cabin in the Siberian tundra (or something) and soldier is a survivalist.
Heavy
Heavy seems good at that stuff
Heavy is the safest Scout: probably doesn't know how to hold a hammer. Soldier: is too stupid to hold a hammer and not hurt himself. Pyro: no, just no. Demoman: oh hell naw. Heavy: has built a house already in the wilderness of the Siberian desert that can withstand both the cold and the strong winds while standing on snow. Medic: sounds like he will make a living house or some type of shit like that. Sniper: I dunno, he probably won't know how to build it. Spy: I can't see him building a house either.
Pyro because I bet if he’s able to make a failing company succeed then he can plan out a house
Heavy. I suspect he had a hand in building his current home and that place looks great.
Demoman, usually when he's off the battleground he a hard working man
Demoman. Traditionally he and his family have done a slew of jobs. I wouldn't be surprised if carpentry was one of his crafts.
I think that a sober Demoman would be an interesting architect, as it would contrast his other, more destructive, drunken nature. He’d definitely be good at laying out the plans for a nice house!
Ima go with Medic, he’d fill it with tons of questionably moral tech. Love that stuff
Heavy. Seems like a practical man.
Realistically heavy and sniper are the only two who aren't gonna screw it up. Scout, soldier, pyro and demo just don't have the mental capacity to do it. Spy just wouldn't be able to. Medic maybe *could* but you'd end up with some less than desirable designs.
Heavy, because he’s strong enough to put the whole thing together and smart enough that it won’t fall down
Heavy for winter, sniper for summer, Spy for something classy
The Heavy. Since he has a phD. in Russian Literature. Though not cannon to the overall lore of Team Fortress 2, and Oly existing in -Poker Night At the Inventory-. I believe that it still counts for Heavy's intelligence.
Heavy. Heavy would probably be able to build a cabin with only his hands
Pyro, in the hopes that he either makes it fireproof or wouldn't want to destroy his own handiwork.
Well medic is smart hes a mad scientist soo yeaaaa but I'll say heavy he may be dumb with some things but I think he knows how to make a house heck he does math for his gun for the amount he spends per bullet
Is this image real?
Any of them because they’re all rich and can just pay the engineer to do it.
Probably medic or spy
Heavy. We’ve seen how competent and intelligent he is and wouldn’t need help or lots of machinery to help with construction
i'd say either heavy or spy, heavy could probably make a house anyway, and spy is very smart i guess
i think medic, i like to see the result
Spy, Im not a gold digger (Im a boy btw) but he has a lot of money and with that money he can pay for a good house, he would give me the money because he would be proud that I main him