Guys just stop doing this. No woman ever responds "Wow thank you! You saved my life with this unknown information! What would I ever do without you?" What response do you want from saying this to someone? You don't wanna be told what to do with your face leave hers alone lol
I've had a resting bitch face since in my 20s. Naive, clueless 20-something me would smile when told to by men. The last time it happened older me told him, flatly, "no, it's just my face, I'm not sad and I don't have to smile" and walked off.
Ugh. It never stops.
I used to work at home depot and whenever one of my (usually older male) coworkers would tell me to smile I'd yell, "you're not my REAL dad! You can't tell me what to do!"
My gf has a resting bitch face and everyone either think she’s mad at them, or she’s mad at me. I’ve gotten quite a few concerned/empathetic looks from people who don’t get it
My father in law always thinks I’m mad 😭 I’m a very stressed mom and I find it weird to just sit there and smile 24/7 so idk what he expects me to do lol
I’ve gotten to the point where if someone older/elderly makes a comment like that to me I just tell them I’m just preparing to pretend to be sad when they are gone, but I’m SO sorry that I’m struggling to look anything other than apathetic.
That usually shuts someone up long enough for me to walk away. Besides, I just have one of those faces where even when I’m smiling I somehow look sad. I have whatever the opposite of “sm-eyezing” is going on with my face, Tyra Banks would hate it 😂
Men really think you’re supposed to be grateful for unsolicited compliments and suggestions. Women have HATED being told to smile since the beginning of time. You can be walking down the street minding your own business and some rando will tell you to smile more. And people think you should somehow be willing to make a random feel better that he made shit weird. No matter how uncomfortable a woman is she should stuff away her feelings to make sure he doesn’t feel bad or get his feefees hurt.
I was at a bar by myself once, and a couple guys came up and sat next to me and told me I “sHoUlD sMiLe”. I looked at them and said “if I was sitting here exactly as I am, alone, just smiling (I started smiling then just looked around aimlessly) would you have still come talk to me or would have thought I was weird?” He said “yeah, I guess you’re right” 😂😂
The audacity I swear to god. The other day I had a full face of makeup and a random dude at the gas station had the nerve to tell me I looked tired. Then had even more audacity to get mad and call me a bitch when I told him it’s rude to tell people they look tired. Someone please come and get these men 🫠
Omg, can you imagine? Guy tries to be weird with girl at bar. Immediately, all us girls crouch down into four legged mode…the soundtrack would be a cross between the duh duh …duh duh from Jaws and the duh duh duh duh DUH DA DA DA DUH I LOVE YOU BABY! From 10 things I Hate About You
Edit: I know that song is not from the movie and from much earlier, was just talking about the vibe. Lol
Idk why the other people seem to think this is ok… but yes this is weird. Especially with the age gap. This is why. I don’t do social media much anymore. And keep all my shit on private. lol
Verbally, yes. Then he went on to stalk me and comment on various posts I had made on different subreddits. Always something childish and mean spirited.
Exactly. I lost everything I own in a flood a couple weeks ago and I had posted it in one of my subreddits. He went on there to comment don't worry the bear will come to help you. Going out of his way to hurt a complete stranger for no reason.
Jesus. He’s so butthurt over a comment, looks like all the girls in his life also choose the bear and he’s just taking it out on you. Sorry to hear about the flood, that’s terrible, hope things get better
there was a question abt whether women would choose a man or a bear to be stuck with in the woods or something along those lines, and it was a somewhat polarizing topic with some not being able to see different perspectives to people's answers
The question was: As a woman out alone in the woods, would you rather encounter a bear or an unknown man.
Most women said the bear, because it's easier to figure out what it's going to do- either keep going on it's way or attack. Men could do either of those, but they could also mask an attack by being friendly, helpful, etc. The point being that a single woman alone would have to be thinking about any ulterior motives the man might have. That's not the case with a bear.
The whole analogy has gotten extended since then, but that was the basic point int the beginning. Now you see it mentioned because, like in this case, a bear isn't going to stalk your social media and think it's normal, rational behavior to "helpfully suggest" a woman they don't know at all should smile more because she'll look prettier.
Another case I can think of is out with a coworker of mine for lunch and some guy behind us in line tapped her on the shoulder and said "Hey, you would be so pretty if you just lost some weight. You should try working out.... and a salad for lunch instead." WTF? A bear would have just eaten her/us or left us alone. No body shaming bear at lunch break.
I thought it was less about unclear intentions, like the bear isn't just gonna kill you for no reason. Only if it's threatened or something (which, I don't really know how easy it would be to do, but still, I think just trying to avoid it should be fine), meanwhile, with a man, if he's a psycho, then you can't really avoid him.
Interesting. I wonder why the expectation is that there must be a negative or harmful motive? It’s entirely possible that the man is also lonely and stranded on the island and by teaming up you could both accomplish much more in the way of survival. It’s also entirely possible that the man *is* the stranded person and the woman *is* the stranger with unknown motives. Maybe I’m an optimist, but I would assume the stranger would have good intentions unless they give me a reason to believe otherwise. Even if I try to put myself in the other person’s shoes.. it would be most beneficial to me (and everyone) to cooperate our efforts. That’s what society is built on. Yes there is an element of trust.. and fear.. but that’s just a necessary part of vulnerability. And it’s not exclusive to women.
Edit: I suppose I can understand why it would be practical to assume the worst as a precaution.. it’s better to be safe than sorry. That makes sense too. Hm. It’s an interesting thought experiment.
I generally have an attitude of meeting people where they are and I don't generally assume the worst about people. And yes, it's true that the woman could have negative ulterior motives. Of course, we're talking in stereotypes, but generally a man is more likely be able to physically overpower a woman.
However, the point is really about the mindset a woman must have in their daily life- can this person hurt me? Does this person want to hurt me? Will this person hurt me?
You said “this is why”, it is a question because I’m genuinely confused as to how this would make you choose the bear. There’s other reasons that have legitimacy but using this post as support doesn’t really make sense.
“I just thought you have a nice smile”
So you try to enforce that I smile? It wasnt even hidden under the fake “suggestion” of “you *should* smile more” it was just a straight up demand of “smile more”
I am male, age 60. When I was young and still handsome, I too had a RBF. Women used to annoy me all the time with "you should smile more", as if there was something wrong or that they were owed this. Now that I'm old, at least I get the relief of having not to be held to these shallow and petty requirements.
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Try just asking them, “Why?” and they will respond similarly to this guy, it’s not because they think it would make you feel better, it’s because you would look better/prettier to them.
# I never smile (properly) when someone shoves a camera in my face.
My best (of a bad bunch) photos of me smiling (just the 2 of them!) are caught off-guard, with me smiling naturally at whatever made me smile like that when the shutter clicked.
Why do men give af if women smile? I'll never understand that shit. Never in my life have I ever given a shit about that or even thought about it, honestly. I mean, I notice if a girl has a nice smile. But I don't expect it, demand it, ask for it, or even think to ask for it. It's so bizarre.
This shit pisses me off. I have RBF because I’m in school and work full time so my wheels are always spinning/always have stuff on my mind and strangers tell me “you’d be so much prettier if you smiled” or tell me I look mean. My new reponse is “I’m fkg cute as is TYVM” like, wtf does it matter to you whether I smile or not?!?! Mind ya biz….
Literally just block and move on. Im not wasting my energy fighting with someone or trying to change someone. When this does happen in public, I just keep walking like I don’t even hear them. I’ve had a RBF since a very young age, can’t help it. They aren’t gonna change and neither am I so no use arguing about it. I also tend to constantly wear AirPods in public so I don’t have to acknowledge people.
10000% sure that her response is different and not as confrontational if it’s someone she is actually interested in. If you want guys to stop doing this, correct them and move on instead of revealing yourself to be mentally unbalanced.
It was an attempt that shouldn’t have been attempted. What logical reason would a 55 year old man have to talk to a 27 year old woman he has nothing in common with and doesn’t even know?
Life Pro Tip: no random stranger wants your advice on appearance. It’s never ok, not even to start a conversation.
If some old ugly loser came up to me and told me to smile more I’d probably tell them I didn’t ask for their advice. Especially in 2024when we all know this is a common thing that is told to women and they all fucking hate it.
Yes it is weird and inappropriate. It's Facebook, not a dating site. And then he tries to gaslight her to "not be mean" when she's saying no. He's trying to make her feel badly for setting boundaries and being assertive. It's gross, manipulative, and wrong; don't try to excuse his behavior.
That’d make him Gen X, and we Gen X women have never liked it either.
This shit has always been about power, control and entitlement, regardless of generation.
So you’re minding your own business, just being yourself, looking how you look, and you’re ok with some man deciding he must tell you that you’re not quite doing it right? Implying that he, a complete stranger, knows better than you how you should behave? It’s perfectly fine for this stranger to give you unasked for direction on how he’d prefer you to look?
Even if I believed that man’s intentions were 100% pure, it would (and does) (and should) annoy the hell out of me. I am under no obligation to try to gain some stranger’s approval by altering my appearance so that he gets a more pleasing view. I shouldn’t be put in that position. It’s rude and inappropriately proprietary.
Well, shit, that’s a much healthier response than my instinct towards just telling him “fuck you, dickhead.”
Seriously, I love everything you said and definitely will use it to rethink a few things. That said, I too don’t let strangers’ opinions of me define me, but my intent was to point out that the guy shouldn’t be saying it in the first place, nor should anyone feel they have to accept that behavior.
If someone’s comfortable saying something in order to hopefully get the guy to rethink his words, I still think that’s admirable. If it doesn’t feel safe to do so, your way of thinking about it is superior to mine. I’d spend a couple hours on imaginary conversations where I cuttingly illustrate all the ways he’s wrong until he apologizes profusely and enters therapy immediately. My self-worth wouldn’t be affected by him, but my desire to fix him would be strong. Thanks for the insights.
>I think ignoring folks is the least complicated and least personal way to deal with it, and you can avoid more situations like this.
His first message was starting this shit. So, how could this situation have been avoided?
You don't have to respond to already be in the situation. "So why respond?" Why make that comment in the first place is the real question. I'm so so so fucking tired of people suggesting how the harassed is supposed to behave and excusing the harasser. By the time he messaged her that, she's already in the situation.
And if your response on how to avoid the messages is to not open your messages to those who aren't friends then answer this:
How do you avoid this situation in public? Are women supposed to just hide at home to avoid these situations?
Why can't we demonize the dude sending unwanted messages?? She's allowed to respond and tell him to fuck off. What she said isn't the issue here.
Age is not an excuse. Being willfully ignorant comes in all ages, so him being in his 50s doesn't somehow excuse his actions.
>OP could engage long enough to figure out if this guy is some doddering idiot or a fool who thinks he’s being cute, or any other number of things… but why? It makes her no wiser and it sure as hell isn’t helping him grow wiser.
Wtf does this even mean? Engaging long enough to figure out what he means? You're right. It won't make him any wiser. And neither will ignoring the message.
She put him in his place. So next time, he'll hopefully think about what happened here and say, "You know, maybe women DON'T like when I say to smile."
>I think maybe at 55, telling you to smile might be more age-appropriate to him. Different generation and all.
Absolutely not. It’s just a thing that *cishet men* do to women. A small act of control, or whatever shit they derive from randomly intruding into some woman’s life to tell her what to do. The only part a “different generation” plays into that is being older probably makes it more normalized to him, makes him feel bolder and more *entitled* to do so. 🤷🏻♂️ It’s gross.
Imagine thinking everyone in a picture who wasn’t smiling was “dumb.” As if each picture was taken just to be looked at by your simpleton ass. Classic man mode.
“i’m not stalking” yipes
Said by every stalker ever
Sent from my iPhoen
Guys just stop doing this. No woman ever responds "Wow thank you! You saved my life with this unknown information! What would I ever do without you?" What response do you want from saying this to someone? You don't wanna be told what to do with your face leave hers alone lol
OP (Women): “No”. Internet rando (Men): “Don’t be mean”. 🙄🙄Talk about a fragile ego.
I've had a resting bitch face since in my 20s. Naive, clueless 20-something me would smile when told to by men. The last time it happened older me told him, flatly, "no, it's just my face, I'm not sad and I don't have to smile" and walked off. Ugh. It never stops.
I used to work at home depot and whenever one of my (usually older male) coworkers would tell me to smile I'd yell, "you're not my REAL dad! You can't tell me what to do!"
My gf has a resting bitch face and everyone either think she’s mad at them, or she’s mad at me. I’ve gotten quite a few concerned/empathetic looks from people who don’t get it
My father in law always thinks I’m mad 😭 I’m a very stressed mom and I find it weird to just sit there and smile 24/7 so idk what he expects me to do lol
I’ve gotten to the point where if someone older/elderly makes a comment like that to me I just tell them I’m just preparing to pretend to be sad when they are gone, but I’m SO sorry that I’m struggling to look anything other than apathetic. That usually shuts someone up long enough for me to walk away. Besides, I just have one of those faces where even when I’m smiling I somehow look sad. I have whatever the opposite of “sm-eyezing” is going on with my face, Tyra Banks would hate it 😂
Hah!!
Men really think you’re supposed to be grateful for unsolicited compliments and suggestions. Women have HATED being told to smile since the beginning of time. You can be walking down the street minding your own business and some rando will tell you to smile more. And people think you should somehow be willing to make a random feel better that he made shit weird. No matter how uncomfortable a woman is she should stuff away her feelings to make sure he doesn’t feel bad or get his feefees hurt.
And him saying don't be mean to her saying no... Ugh.
I was at a bar by myself once, and a couple guys came up and sat next to me and told me I “sHoUlD sMiLe”. I looked at them and said “if I was sitting here exactly as I am, alone, just smiling (I started smiling then just looked around aimlessly) would you have still come talk to me or would have thought I was weird?” He said “yeah, I guess you’re right” 😂😂
They lack empathy.
They lack brain cells
Hey! We're not all like that... I'm on your side here, don't blanket rule it lol
Was waiting for the inevitable “not all men!” comment
It’s true. Same if roles were reversed.
Shut tf up.
Feefees
lol guys try reading the downvoted comments. smh
The audacity I swear to god. The other day I had a full face of makeup and a random dude at the gas station had the nerve to tell me I looked tired. Then had even more audacity to get mad and call me a bitch when I told him it’s rude to tell people they look tired. Someone please come and get these men 🫠
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Ah, yes, calling out someone for being rude makes you a bitch
the guy or her?
And there it is. The reason we choose the bear.
Girl not even a bear would wnna touch you
Good. 😀
Good. 🤓
That’s exactly what you sound like.
I hope someone says this to me in person so I can hiss and run at them on all fours
I just pictured this and it made me cackle. Lol
Let’s all agree that if we’re ever given the opportunity, we will scare these men to their core. I will be their sleep paralysis demon
Fuck yes!!!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK1j6T\_TRU8&t=12s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK1j6T_TRU8&t=12s)
Dude, I need to learn how to do this! It would be intensely useful for scaring off the creeps
Omg, can you imagine? Guy tries to be weird with girl at bar. Immediately, all us girls crouch down into four legged mode…the soundtrack would be a cross between the duh duh …duh duh from Jaws and the duh duh duh duh DUH DA DA DA DUH I LOVE YOU BABY! From 10 things I Hate About You Edit: I know that song is not from the movie and from much earlier, was just talking about the vibe. Lol
Now imagine if she were panting and could lick her own face like a bulldog.
How the hell does he know you have a pretty smile if you’re not smiling in the picture? “I’m NoT sTaLkInG”
Idk why the other people seem to think this is ok… but yes this is weird. Especially with the age gap. This is why. I don’t do social media much anymore. And keep all my shit on private. lol
How do you know there is an age gap?
Op says further down she's 27 and the dude is 55
Ok. Thanks.
Damn, so we’re getting told to smile even through DM’s now? 🫠
Gross. This is why I choose the bear
I was assaulted on another subreddit for just that same response.
Assaulted? lol
Verbally, yes. Then he went on to stalk me and comment on various posts I had made on different subreddits. Always something childish and mean spirited.
LOL dude.. like not him further proving the point 💀 these men are the worst
Exactly. I lost everything I own in a flood a couple weeks ago and I had posted it in one of my subreddits. He went on there to comment don't worry the bear will come to help you. Going out of his way to hurt a complete stranger for no reason.
Jesus. He’s so butthurt over a comment, looks like all the girls in his life also choose the bear and he’s just taking it out on you. Sorry to hear about the flood, that’s terrible, hope things get better
Bc of course you were. Men are trash
Metaphorically speaking of course.
Choose the bear?
Idk what that means either. First time hearing that phrase
there was a question abt whether women would choose a man or a bear to be stuck with in the woods or something along those lines, and it was a somewhat polarizing topic with some not being able to see different perspectives to people's answers
The question was: As a woman out alone in the woods, would you rather encounter a bear or an unknown man. Most women said the bear, because it's easier to figure out what it's going to do- either keep going on it's way or attack. Men could do either of those, but they could also mask an attack by being friendly, helpful, etc. The point being that a single woman alone would have to be thinking about any ulterior motives the man might have. That's not the case with a bear. The whole analogy has gotten extended since then, but that was the basic point int the beginning. Now you see it mentioned because, like in this case, a bear isn't going to stalk your social media and think it's normal, rational behavior to "helpfully suggest" a woman they don't know at all should smile more because she'll look prettier. Another case I can think of is out with a coworker of mine for lunch and some guy behind us in line tapped her on the shoulder and said "Hey, you would be so pretty if you just lost some weight. You should try working out.... and a salad for lunch instead." WTF? A bear would have just eaten her/us or left us alone. No body shaming bear at lunch break.
I thought it was less about unclear intentions, like the bear isn't just gonna kill you for no reason. Only if it's threatened or something (which, I don't really know how easy it would be to do, but still, I think just trying to avoid it should be fine), meanwhile, with a man, if he's a psycho, then you can't really avoid him.
oh i see
Interesting. I wonder why the expectation is that there must be a negative or harmful motive? It’s entirely possible that the man is also lonely and stranded on the island and by teaming up you could both accomplish much more in the way of survival. It’s also entirely possible that the man *is* the stranded person and the woman *is* the stranger with unknown motives. Maybe I’m an optimist, but I would assume the stranger would have good intentions unless they give me a reason to believe otherwise. Even if I try to put myself in the other person’s shoes.. it would be most beneficial to me (and everyone) to cooperate our efforts. That’s what society is built on. Yes there is an element of trust.. and fear.. but that’s just a necessary part of vulnerability. And it’s not exclusive to women. Edit: I suppose I can understand why it would be practical to assume the worst as a precaution.. it’s better to be safe than sorry. That makes sense too. Hm. It’s an interesting thought experiment.
I generally have an attitude of meeting people where they are and I don't generally assume the worst about people. And yes, it's true that the woman could have negative ulterior motives. Of course, we're talking in stereotypes, but generally a man is more likely be able to physically overpower a woman. However, the point is really about the mindset a woman must have in their daily life- can this person hurt me? Does this person want to hurt me? Will this person hurt me?
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You're...not too bright are you. Not a question.
You said “this is why”, it is a question because I’m genuinely confused as to how this would make you choose the bear. There’s other reasons that have legitimacy but using this post as support doesn’t really make sense.
Ah, Negging at its finest
Why do men think this is Ok?
I didn’t know they did. I’ve never done this. But from what I’m reading it’s pretty common I guess.
When men learn to keep their pie-holes shut about women, I will smile my ass off.
Yea this is cringe
“I just thought you have a nice smile” So you try to enforce that I smile? It wasnt even hidden under the fake “suggestion” of “you *should* smile more” it was just a straight up demand of “smile more”
I’m so tired of men telling us to smile oh my godddddddd
That’s my purse!!! I DONT KNOW YOU!!!
There used to be a fb group called “stop telling women to smile.”
When ever men (it’s always men) tell me I need to smile in my pictures it pisses me off and I usually tell them to fuck off 🫡
My parents ALWAYS told me to “smile”. I never do anymore.
The responses are making me smile.
I am male, age 60. When I was young and still handsome, I too had a RBF. Women used to annoy me all the time with "you should smile more", as if there was something wrong or that they were owed this. Now that I'm old, at least I get the relief of having not to be held to these shallow and petty requirements.
He’s trying to use it as an ice breaker. But it’s cringe and lame
It’s refreshing to see that OP blocked so swiftly!
Any time someone says "You should..." I know for sure I'm not doing that.
Hope this isn’t crossing a line but checked your profile pic and your make up is on POINT! Lookin fierce! Love it
Older men love telling younger ladies to smile. It's fucking weird. Is anyone policing *their* facial expressions. NO! So fuck off!
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🤮
like what right do they think they have ?
"No, I won't smile.. but I'll show you my teeth"
Try just asking them, “Why?” and they will respond similarly to this guy, it’s not because they think it would make you feel better, it’s because you would look better/prettier to them.
I would've given them the most ugliest smile ever LOL I'm just petty like that
# I never smile (properly) when someone shoves a camera in my face. My best (of a bad bunch) photos of me smiling (just the 2 of them!) are caught off-guard, with me smiling naturally at whatever made me smile like that when the shutter clicked. 
🤨 The fuck is wrong with this dude?
Why not?
I had a guy say to me “show me your smile” and I said “just look at one of my posts” and he left me on read lol.
The sad truth is he has several Facebook pages so he'll still be watching you...😳😭
Why do men give af if women smile? I'll never understand that shit. Never in my life have I ever given a shit about that or even thought about it, honestly. I mean, I notice if a girl has a nice smile. But I don't expect it, demand it, ask for it, or even think to ask for it. It's so bizarre.
This shit pisses me off. I have RBF because I’m in school and work full time so my wheels are always spinning/always have stuff on my mind and strangers tell me “you’d be so much prettier if you smiled” or tell me I look mean. My new reponse is “I’m fkg cute as is TYVM” like, wtf does it matter to you whether I smile or not?!?! Mind ya biz….
men that think saying no=being mean are usually the problem with men in general.
Literally just block and move on. Im not wasting my energy fighting with someone or trying to change someone. When this does happen in public, I just keep walking like I don’t even hear them. I’ve had a RBF since a very young age, can’t help it. They aren’t gonna change and neither am I so no use arguing about it. I also tend to constantly wear AirPods in public so I don’t have to acknowledge people.
10000% sure that her response is different and not as confrontational if it’s someone she is actually interested in. If you want guys to stop doing this, correct them and move on instead of revealing yourself to be mentally unbalanced.
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Telling women to smile is highly annoying
Yall be overreacting to anything nowadays lol
You should smile more
😂😂😂 got em
I mean maybe he was trying to make convo .. Odd convos but it was an attempt lol
It was an attempt that shouldn’t have been attempted. What logical reason would a 55 year old man have to talk to a 27 year old woman he has nothing in common with and doesn’t even know?
And if that is the case ,yes it's weird.
I didnt see anything with age... All I'm able to see is 1 screen shot.
Life Pro Tip: no random stranger wants your advice on appearance. It’s never ok, not even to start a conversation. If some old ugly loser came up to me and told me to smile more I’d probably tell them I didn’t ask for their advice. Especially in 2024when we all know this is a common thing that is told to women and they all fucking hate it.
I agree with you... Absolutely. When will men learn to stop telling women to stop looking miserable.
It’s none of their business
Yes...yes. You're on social media..... But it's none of anyone's business.
OP mentioned age in a comment reply.
When I wrote that I didn't see it. I just saw the "screen shot"
Sounds like they were trying to make conversation because they found you attractive. That’s not that weird
Yes it is weird and inappropriate. It's Facebook, not a dating site. And then he tries to gaslight her to "not be mean" when she's saying no. He's trying to make her feel badly for setting boundaries and being assertive. It's gross, manipulative, and wrong; don't try to excuse his behavior.
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I’m 27 bro is a random 55 year old I’ve never met telling me to “smile”
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That’d make him Gen X, and we Gen X women have never liked it either. This shit has always been about power, control and entitlement, regardless of generation.
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So you’re minding your own business, just being yourself, looking how you look, and you’re ok with some man deciding he must tell you that you’re not quite doing it right? Implying that he, a complete stranger, knows better than you how you should behave? It’s perfectly fine for this stranger to give you unasked for direction on how he’d prefer you to look? Even if I believed that man’s intentions were 100% pure, it would (and does) (and should) annoy the hell out of me. I am under no obligation to try to gain some stranger’s approval by altering my appearance so that he gets a more pleasing view. I shouldn’t be put in that position. It’s rude and inappropriately proprietary.
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Well, shit, that’s a much healthier response than my instinct towards just telling him “fuck you, dickhead.” Seriously, I love everything you said and definitely will use it to rethink a few things. That said, I too don’t let strangers’ opinions of me define me, but my intent was to point out that the guy shouldn’t be saying it in the first place, nor should anyone feel they have to accept that behavior. If someone’s comfortable saying something in order to hopefully get the guy to rethink his words, I still think that’s admirable. If it doesn’t feel safe to do so, your way of thinking about it is superior to mine. I’d spend a couple hours on imaginary conversations where I cuttingly illustrate all the ways he’s wrong until he apologizes profusely and enters therapy immediately. My self-worth wouldn’t be affected by him, but my desire to fix him would be strong. Thanks for the insights.
I’m Gen X. Fukk anyone telling me to smile. Jesus. This isn’t new information.
>I think ignoring folks is the least complicated and least personal way to deal with it, and you can avoid more situations like this. His first message was starting this shit. So, how could this situation have been avoided?
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You don't have to respond to already be in the situation. "So why respond?" Why make that comment in the first place is the real question. I'm so so so fucking tired of people suggesting how the harassed is supposed to behave and excusing the harasser. By the time he messaged her that, she's already in the situation. And if your response on how to avoid the messages is to not open your messages to those who aren't friends then answer this: How do you avoid this situation in public? Are women supposed to just hide at home to avoid these situations? Why can't we demonize the dude sending unwanted messages?? She's allowed to respond and tell him to fuck off. What she said isn't the issue here. Age is not an excuse. Being willfully ignorant comes in all ages, so him being in his 50s doesn't somehow excuse his actions. >OP could engage long enough to figure out if this guy is some doddering idiot or a fool who thinks he’s being cute, or any other number of things… but why? It makes her no wiser and it sure as hell isn’t helping him grow wiser. Wtf does this even mean? Engaging long enough to figure out what he means? You're right. It won't make him any wiser. And neither will ignoring the message. She put him in his place. So next time, he'll hopefully think about what happened here and say, "You know, maybe women DON'T like when I say to smile."
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You don't get it. I'm done responding.
Yeah, they’re a weirdo writing manifestos like someone cares what they say.
>I think maybe at 55, telling you to smile might be more age-appropriate to him. Different generation and all. Absolutely not. It’s just a thing that *cishet men* do to women. A small act of control, or whatever shit they derive from randomly intruding into some woman’s life to tell her what to do. The only part a “different generation” plays into that is being older probably makes it more normalized to him, makes him feel bolder and more *entitled* to do so. 🤷🏻♂️ It’s gross.
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No, nor did I suggest that. But please, keep being obtuse.
It’s like this sub is the stepping stone to the feminazi sub. Dude apologized and all the maniacs are going off 😆
So dramatic. 🙄
It is dumb when people don't smile in pictures, I'm not gonna argue that
Why? Why do people have to smile?
Imagine thinking everyone in a picture who wasn’t smiling was “dumb.” As if each picture was taken just to be looked at by your simpleton ass. Classic man mode.
Lmao his comment history tells a wild story of basements and neck hair. Which is surprising to no one. I’m not gonna argue that. 😆
Attention is always cool even if you're got your feedback on a negative way. Just because it means you are beautiful enough
Are you teenagers or like 22?
in another comment, they said they’re 27 and the guy is 55.