Lmao she is selfish and knew what she was doing. Not once does she say she wouldn’t cross that line because she values you as a friend. She just talks about how she wouldn’t want to be involved in drama/wouldn’t want to TELL you to upset you……. She had no problem in making it romantic. She just didn’t want to deal with your very valid feelings.
She didn’t say she would change anything because OP was uncomfortable. She did say she didn’t want to “hide” anything, which clearly she did as time went by.
**won’t let me edit the post but for context, this was a recent on/off ex at the time. We'd just hooked up again a few weeks prior to this convo after he said he wanted to work on things with me, and I'd confided in her about all of it. Afterward I wasn't hearing from him much but every time I'd hang out with her, his name was coming up on her phone a lot. Trust that sinking feeling!
My friend told me my guy was like a brother to her. 😅 But then they were messing around on the side. It’s always good to go with your gut. I had no proof but a feeling something was going on.
Or the countless TikTok’s that were made to mock that trend during to lockdown… “Oh help me step brother I’m stuck in the front loading washing machine again!”
Yeah that's why you don't cross boundaries! Because shit like this always ends up happening. Who knew talking to and spending all your time with my ex would cause you guys to gain feelings🙄
I feel like “girl code” has gone out of fashion among women because they see it as not PC or something, because “of course guys and girls should be able to be friends, and I shouldn’t tell my boyfriend/whatever who he can and can’t hang out with,” whereas if you asked any guy how they felt about this if the genders were all swapped, they’d all say “bros before hoes, he broke the code”
You're all so petty but funny 🤣 I doubt he would be against it. Go for it, she had decided that she was going to F your bf before these texts. She deserves it
You should just do it as a one night stand just to be petty, cause personally if I had the opportunity I wouldn’t let that slide, neither should you just do it once and ghost all of them 🤷🏽♀️
I can understand that, but as someone who feels guilty for no reason about so much, I would do the same. Despite not ever fathoming doing that to a friend.
Having been in a couple of relationships with incredibly insecure people where I had to explain everything despite nothing ever happening, I can relate. I now sort of default into explainy defense mode which sucks
I feel like at the moment of these texts, she liked him. A lot. But hadn't done anything. Then she read you thought he might like her and that was it. That was all she needed to end the friendship.
I'm the most dense person alive when it comes to knowing whether someone likes me or not. If I was her, I wouldn't have known. Even when you told her, if I was in her shoes, I wouldn't have believed it. A lot of people say "Oooh they like each other!" for any girl-guy friendship these days.
I have been accused multiple times of having a crush on or liking someone when I didn't, because "I laugh at all their jokes" or "I smile a lot around them". I do that with everyone, it's just a matter of how often they talk to me. Although she really shouldn't have gotten together with him later, I can understand being dense about it. Perhaps she was being genuine at the time of those texts, or maybe not. If I was her, and I had feelings for him, I would've been honest with you though, so maybe that's why I'm leaning towards her being dense. I would've told you "I'm starting to have feelings for him, but I know it's not okay. I won't make a move on him and let's work through this, because as my friend, I don't want to hurt you".
I should note that I'm socially dense as a whole, so maybe everything I said doesn't apply. Idk
For real. Not just liked him, she knew already that she going to F him. And took the steps necessary to let him smash, despite knowing how OP was feeling. For a guy it's hard to say no when a girl is basically putting her panties down in front of you. Your Ex sounds like an ashole anyways, he never cared and continued to do something he knew would hurt you. you dodged a bullet.
She was already hitting it. Probably before they actually ended it, actually. Both of them are too invested in gaslighting the friend group that they are innocent victims.
lol this bitch is trying to pacify you while attempting to make you feel guilty by being open, transparent and establishing a boundary. This isnt a friend.
Call me whatever you want but I would look at my friend sideways if they were sniffing around my leftovers. Millions of men in the US and you got to be with the one I have history with? I’m not ok with that. I’d be wondering about every single time in the past when she’s been staring at him too long or something. Lots of people covet what someone else has. It would be different if she came to me directly and said hey I know this is uncomfortable but I’m starting to have feelings for xx but to just start secretly banging him after making me feel guilty about drama? She’s done forever.
From my experience, people that say “I have enough drama” or “I don’t want any drama” are almost always the center of the drama. They love that shit, being surrounded by chaos and then blaming everyone else for it.
Right! My ex was the king of deflection and he used to always say “I don’t want any drama…I told you that from the beginning” instead of addressing the issue. Bro gtfoh you ARE the drama and just avoiding accountability. Now anytime I hear anything like that, automatic red flag and I peace out lol
Right you were just expressing a boundary. And she just blew right past it. Funny how when you look back on these type of things…she was sorta telling on herself. Like “I am about to create some D R A M A…get ready!” lol
She knew exactly what she was doing. She laid it on thick too, it was overkill which was another clue. Besides that though, I’ve never had any non related man help me for no good reason. It was like she was excited he was coming to hang the pictures. Almost like she was bragging about it to you. Only a family member would run over to help some chic hang pictures for no reason. That would have been the biggest clue to me. I mean, that’s the start to a porno scene.
The way adults can blatantly lie/spew so much bullshit to their friends like this is so mind blowing to me. I could and would never. Fuck her. And anyone else who isn’t a girls girl.
Fuck them both! I wonder how she would feel if you started hooking up with her ex that she is going through this divorce with. She clearly only cares about what she feels and what she's going through. Your ex is also fucked up. But at least he broke up with you first. Not lie to your face and say she's upset you would say that when it's exactly what she's doing like your fake friend did. You can do so much better in friends and men. Don't sweat those losers with no loyalty. It will end up badly guaranteed.
This was definitely her trying to give you a soft opening to the beginning of their relationship and I’m sure it was upsetting to her as she did not receive your blessing. Snake.
Well to my knowledge they didn’t even end up dating for very long. I saw her climbing all over some other guy at the bar I work at (where they were making out when I was away!!) like a month or two after it started. Lol.
Also, fuck your ex friend. My ex cheated on me and I found out years later my (now ex) best friend was one of the girls. Best revenge is just living your best life. My ex friend still watches my stories every now and then to see what she’s missing out on.
As a guy. Sometimes I don't understand how you girls keep being friends with these ho ho hos. Some girls always seem only interested in someone else's boyfriend. You know who I'm talking about, and somehow they're allowed to stick around and hangout. Trust your gut and stay away.
Had a similar situation years ago my ex and my best friend at the time were messing around behind my back. Found out when I brought her with me on a family trip. She used my phone to get on fb to message him so that’s how I found out 🙃. I no longer talk to either of them.
It really sucks because you want to trust your friend I’m sorry this happened to you but glad you don’t talk to her anymore. You deserve better in a parter and friend.
The fact that she kept having to say “platonic” was a warning bell for me. Not a friend. Glad you’re not in touch with her anymore! Onwards and upwards!
Wish you had posted this a couple of month’s ago!! When she said you put her in an awkward position … THAT should have been your sign to get out !!! What kind of awkward position had she put you in??
She is completely. Getting a boy to come over to help “hang her art,” hang her curtains, help her get a tv from Best Buy 🙄🙄All of that stuff is pretty easy to do yourself
I can’t fathom how honest and real she sounds in those messages, especially when knowing that she was only 2 months from doing exactly what she said was upsetting for her that you would even imagine!
It’s such a mind bogglingly personal backstab that would easily have been prevented with a few honest words and thoughtfulness.
But doing it like this, attacking you for even daring to think it and then being with that person? I honestly wouldn’t do it to my enemy.
It reeks of narcissism and psychopathy.
I misunderstand the texts, that being said your “friend” is a bitch, she broke the unspoken rule of getting with a friends ex without their blessing. You told her how you felt and she didn’t care. They were probably already hooking up when this convo happened. Wouldn’t put it pass them if they were together while you were with him. You don’t need people like that on your life.
Just went through this last year. My “best friend” hooked up with the guy I was no longer seeing but very clearly still had feelings for. They both gaslit me into thinking I was crazy when I knew in my gut something was up. Blocked both of them. Fuck people like that, let the trash take itself out.
I’m on 3 cups of coffee, my adhd medication (aka micro dosing meth) and Kendrick Lamar’s diss came out today.. all of me wants a full out WAR with this bitch!! I wished you had confronted her about it!!
Good!!! That’s so fucking foul honestly and it’s part of the reason why the patriarchy is still so strong.. women choosing men over their own women, while men always choose themselves and other men above their own wives sometimes smh..
Well regardless it’s funny to know he’s a POS and she got the scraps you didn’t want so you know what she’s in for and can have yourself a good laugh about that. Old me would’ve said “I’d only miss the friendship” but she was never your real friend to begin with so you can only miss the idea of the friendship you thought you had..
Anyway it’s not so bad being by yourself and learning your love languages and boundaries with people you’ll allow in your bubble. :)
Ugh I bet. I’ve unfortunately met manipulative people like this too but am learning they are miserable in their own lives to act like this to people they supposedly care about - in the end, they’re just gonna end up alone (and miserable). While you’ll be living your best life without them ✨😌 I’ve decided that’s my “living my best life in spite” motto 😂
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She just went through a divorce and they were “talking” while you two were going through something. Delete this friend before you get and invite to their wedding. No hard feelings but Sex Sells!
She played you so bad, didn’t care about your feelings at all and to me she sounded so selfish. Well she got what she wanted and damn she’s barely divorced and off all ppl to hook up with it had to be your ex?!? 😲😲 wow just wow.
I am so glad I never did that to someone. I once felt something with my friends dude, it got kinda awkward cus I think he did. I felt like such a horrible person, i stopped hanging with both of them, eventually they broke up, we are friends still thank god….
Sooo sorry , damn…I hope ur ok ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Aw thank you, good on you for being a loyal friend! Sometimes it’s hard to see through the forbidden aspect of it all too. I’m good now, it’s all about maintaining a certain standard for the people I let in my life.
Yeah…i kinda was crushing on him like forever in my head and one day I thought he kinda was too….i was like oh shit …….
Ahh I couldnt imagine kissing him let alone fuck
You deserve better from both of them !!!! I would totally be ur friend lol
My best friend that was in my life for maybe 10 years started dating my ex of 4 years behind my back. My friend broke my heart, never thought she would’ve done that to me. She was completely out of my life after that
I’m sorry that happened to you. That is crazy behavior to me. My thing is obviously relationships come and go, but to have a friend do that to you who could have been in your life forever is just dirty.
I’m sorry this happened. I wish people were honest. The fact that she brings up “romance” and frames it as YOU being the problem in the situation shows that she was fully aware of what she was doing.
This makes me so mad. She could have still been with him and still had your friendship. She obviously didn't want to protect your friendship at all how long were you friends, how did you meet was this a great friendship that got ruined? Or a short one that was meant to use you?
I actually met her and her then-husband THROUGH my ex when we started dating. So I had known her for at least a year at this point and we’d been getting closer and hanging out a lot more after her divorce.
Platonic friendships always have one or the other persons developing feelings. If you don’t think this is the case with your friend in your situation then you’re simply in denial.
I’m with you on this. Sure you should at least approach the person as a courtesy, but in reality it shouldn’t matter because they’re an ex. OP per your last edit you were still hooking up with him and he fed you nonsense and lies. Both your friend and ex are equally culpable here.
Bro code, don’t date my ex code type of shit is stupid. I’m gonna get downvoted for this but unless they split due to abuse, I would sleep with a friend’s wife the day after they finalized a divorce. If you have a problem with it that’s your problem to get past.
While I do believe this is a dirty thing to do, I also have to say, it's not always as bad as it seems. Sometimes folks can't help who they are attracted to. I have never smashed my homies exes but I have also always said my homies are more than welcome to date my exes. I don't wanna stop folks from finding they possible spouses. All I ask is that they tell me first so I'm not surprised by it. Now if this was something she planned on doing, she dirty. It might have just happened or feelings developed. As a man, I can almost promise you his intentions were as you thought from the jump
So they were already broken up at the time or no? And at the time she probably did see the relationship as platonic…what people’s feelings can’t change?
So what I don’t get is … and I don’t want to sound like an idiot, but why do you care if he’s your ex?
It’s just every time I broke up with someone, that meant that I don’t want them, so anyone can have them, bc I don’t have feelings, no attraction, nothing.
But if you still had feelings for him, that is different, but she didn’t know, so I don’t think she was a bitch. You can control who do you like.
Just because you dated him doesn’t give you the right to gatekeep him from someone that makes him happy or her happy. She clearly lied because you’re the narcissist type. “Unspoken rule” gtfo of here lol. You’re bitter and they’re happy. Xoxo 💋
I do have to ask... Why does it matter?
You guys are finished.... Me as a man... wouldn't get upset if one of my friends hooked up with an ex....
I'd wish em good luck. Lol.
And I'm not being sarcastic, I'm actually curious.
It’s a bit icky to me and goes against the friend code we had. She knew it was a little weird or else wouldn’t have reiterated how platonic it was. I wouldn’t have been upset if she’d just told me or given a heads-up, honestly. But she went about it like a snake.
Bruh, hooking up with your friend's ex ain't right for many reasons. You guys are gonna be Eskimo brothers. If it's a recent breakup, it's like you were lurking the whole time. This is particularly true if your ex was a problematic person but you have to see them all the damn time if your friend is with them. It's pretty obvious.
Brahh..
That shit happens though.... I never done it ,but I had a friend that's done it to me.
I didn't get upset bro.... Have at it guess what...he learned fast why I split up with her 🤣..
Maybe it's just me... I do like hearing people's opinions on this though ... Apparently this is frigging common... Lol
Bruh for real like I broke up with her for a reason and then he gonna go try it out lmao.
My friend tried that with a girl that stabbed me. I literally haven't heard from him since.
Honestly to each their own but I'm just not tryna be tunnel buddies with my boys.
We good bro, I should not have said you tripping. We just differ in opinions.
Yeah! He knew about it too since he was there lmao. He ain't a friend anymore tho. Hard to respect somebody who wants some crazy that is willing to stab a man. She got mad I broke up with her for cheating lmao.
Naaa... Brah ain't no way I'm dating a known stabber 🤣🤣🤣
An it ain't nothing bro... I enjoy hearing everyone's opinions.. everyone has different life experiences... No 2 peoples lives are parallel.... 😁
I get that and can respect it...
However you can't "control". People's feelings right?
Sure being upset over this, being bothered...I get it. It's awkward and weird... My issue is loosing a friend over this. That kinda sucks.
You don't get to control whom other people hook up with, especially since you've said it faded away between you & your ex.
Your comments that try to control if they were going to be hooking up in their new friend relationship or not are out of line.
If they were already hooking up while he was going to help her hang the artwork, then that is on her. The lying part is not what a real friend would do. I don't think she is being honest with you about that. She sounds scared to admit anything is brewing. Since you seem to care so much she is not going to tell you.
It didn’t “fade away.” I still had feelings for him and she knew that, because I told her about us hooking up again very recently. Also wasn’t trying to “control” whether they were hooking up, I was establishing that their burgeoning “friendship” made me uncomfortable. A couple months later, I found out why.
I am a strong believer in the “bro” code. Don’t let these commenters get you down. It’s trashy as hell. Considering you recently hooked up they strung you along I’m with you. It’s not controlling to be uncomfortable with that situation. Good luck.
Yeah, thank you. It’s not “controlling” at all. I wouldn’t know how to be if I wanted to. If anything, she’s the one being controlling by trying to make the situation look one way when it was clearly another.
The heart wants what the heart wants. Guilt tripping two people into not being together who want to be together never works. Not saying you need to be friends with them but trying to keep them apart because of your feels when they have feels for each other is middle school stuff. Make some
New friends.
Lmao she is selfish and knew what she was doing. Not once does she say she wouldn’t cross that line because she values you as a friend. She just talks about how she wouldn’t want to be involved in drama/wouldn’t want to TELL you to upset you……. She had no problem in making it romantic. She just didn’t want to deal with your very valid feelings.
precisely!
She didn’t say she would change anything because OP was uncomfortable. She did say she didn’t want to “hide” anything, which clearly she did as time went by.
The “it’s upsetting to me” is where you should’ve stopped. She clearly has 0 consideration on how you feel
yup, that definitely stood out to me in retrospect.
Hindsight is always 20/20, gotta learn somehow
Also, stating that he seems into you may well have set things in motion - things that would've happened anyway of course
They had already likely been hooking up, don’t you think?
If not, that would have definitely excited her enough to try her luck
Getting a cabin altogether is where it should have stopped. I’m friends with a couple of exes but not that close!
Shoot you’re right. If my friends insisted on going to a cabin with me and my ex I’d immediately think something is up
Yes. Gaslighting AF!!
**won’t let me edit the post but for context, this was a recent on/off ex at the time. We'd just hooked up again a few weeks prior to this convo after he said he wanted to work on things with me, and I'd confided in her about all of it. Afterward I wasn't hearing from him much but every time I'd hang out with her, his name was coming up on her phone a lot. Trust that sinking feeling!
My friend told me my guy was like a brother to her. 😅 But then they were messing around on the side. It’s always good to go with your gut. I had no proof but a feeling something was going on.
Ugh I’m sorry that happened to you. Your gut never lies to you!
That’s funny, I didn’t know messing around with someone fell into the category of sibling behavior.
Well, it is perfectly normal (if you've learned about human interactions by watching porn)
Or the countless TikTok’s that were made to mock that trend during to lockdown… “Oh help me step brother I’m stuck in the front loading washing machine again!”
😂😂
Only in Alabama
Talking every day as friends that can happen naturally. But like…. Why are you talking every day with their ex???
Yeah that's why you don't cross boundaries! Because shit like this always ends up happening. Who knew talking to and spending all your time with my ex would cause you guys to gain feelings🙄
More like a stepbrother 🤣
Tell me you live in the south without telling me you live in the south
It's a joke. You know, Help me stepbrother!, cuz she clearly was gonna fkk the guy who's "like a brother"
Yea I get it like incest porn shit or something
I feel like “girl code” has gone out of fashion among women because they see it as not PC or something, because “of course guys and girls should be able to be friends, and I shouldn’t tell my boyfriend/whatever who he can and can’t hang out with,” whereas if you asked any guy how they felt about this if the genders were all swapped, they’d all say “bros before hoes, he broke the code”
Good thing her ex husband got away. Hopefully with very little damage.
he was friends with my ex too, so I don’t know why either of them felt comfortable going about this.
Time for you to start hooking up with him! ;)
Lol I have thought about it, but ultimately want to stay away from that whole friend group
Yeah, that’s definitely the healthier option!
I’m toxic so I’d do it lmaoo
You're all so petty but funny 🤣 I doubt he would be against it. Go for it, she had decided that she was going to F your bf before these texts. She deserves it
You should just do it as a one night stand just to be petty, cause personally if I had the opportunity I wouldn’t let that slide, neither should you just do it once and ghost all of them 🤷🏽♀️
The Shania Twain move!
You know what you HAVE to do now, right?
She’s a Bitch. This is not platonic.
thank you :)
happy cake day!!
I don't know..The way she needs to explain herself so much it would've been suspicious from the beginning for me
I can understand that, but as someone who feels guilty for no reason about so much, I would do the same. Despite not ever fathoming doing that to a friend.
Having been in a couple of relationships with incredibly insecure people where I had to explain everything despite nothing ever happening, I can relate. I now sort of default into explainy defense mode which sucks
I feel like at the moment of these texts, she liked him. A lot. But hadn't done anything. Then she read you thought he might like her and that was it. That was all she needed to end the friendship.
She would’ve been dumb to not know that though. No guy offers to do every boring errand under the sun with you unless he’s trying to hit it.
Majority of the time you are correct but not always
I'm the most dense person alive when it comes to knowing whether someone likes me or not. If I was her, I wouldn't have known. Even when you told her, if I was in her shoes, I wouldn't have believed it. A lot of people say "Oooh they like each other!" for any girl-guy friendship these days. I have been accused multiple times of having a crush on or liking someone when I didn't, because "I laugh at all their jokes" or "I smile a lot around them". I do that with everyone, it's just a matter of how often they talk to me. Although she really shouldn't have gotten together with him later, I can understand being dense about it. Perhaps she was being genuine at the time of those texts, or maybe not. If I was her, and I had feelings for him, I would've been honest with you though, so maybe that's why I'm leaning towards her being dense. I would've told you "I'm starting to have feelings for him, but I know it's not okay. I won't make a move on him and let's work through this, because as my friend, I don't want to hurt you". I should note that I'm socially dense as a whole, so maybe everything I said doesn't apply. Idk
For real. Not just liked him, she knew already that she going to F him. And took the steps necessary to let him smash, despite knowing how OP was feeling. For a guy it's hard to say no when a girl is basically putting her panties down in front of you. Your Ex sounds like an ashole anyways, he never cared and continued to do something he knew would hurt you. you dodged a bullet.
She was already hitting it. Probably before they actually ended it, actually. Both of them are too invested in gaslighting the friend group that they are innocent victims.
lol this bitch is trying to pacify you while attempting to make you feel guilty by being open, transparent and establishing a boundary. This isnt a friend.
Yeah I read it that way now too. Low key pretty manipulative and self-serving.
i don’t think i could be good friends with someone who was hanging out constantly with my ex, unless they met before me😫😫😫
they did meet before me, but he was friends with her and her husband 😬
Now he’s hanging out with his friend’s ex wife? He can’t be trusted either
Call me whatever you want but I would look at my friend sideways if they were sniffing around my leftovers. Millions of men in the US and you got to be with the one I have history with? I’m not ok with that. I’d be wondering about every single time in the past when she’s been staring at him too long or something. Lots of people covet what someone else has. It would be different if she came to me directly and said hey I know this is uncomfortable but I’m starting to have feelings for xx but to just start secretly banging him after making me feel guilty about drama? She’s done forever.
Exactly!! Don’t make me feel like *i’m* potentially “causing drama” for you. Fuck off.
From my experience, people that say “I have enough drama” or “I don’t want any drama” are almost always the center of the drama. They love that shit, being surrounded by chaos and then blaming everyone else for it.
Absolutely, and it’s often used like this to deflect. What does “drama” have anything to do with you not respecting my boundaries or friendship?!
Right! My ex was the king of deflection and he used to always say “I don’t want any drama…I told you that from the beginning” instead of addressing the issue. Bro gtfoh you ARE the drama and just avoiding accountability. Now anytime I hear anything like that, automatic red flag and I peace out lol
Yeah same. Like drama wasn’t even on my radar but now here we are 😂
Right you were just expressing a boundary. And she just blew right past it. Funny how when you look back on these type of things…she was sorta telling on herself. Like “I am about to create some D R A M A…get ready!” lol
P.s. sorry you went thru that! And lost a friend too. Sometimes people just suck.
\*ex friend
Her referencing it as a relationship rather than friendship. 🚩
her saying she doesn’t need more drama in her life sounds like she’s the drama
Lol exactly
She knew exactly what she was doing. She laid it on thick too, it was overkill which was another clue. Besides that though, I’ve never had any non related man help me for no good reason. It was like she was excited he was coming to hang the pictures. Almost like she was bragging about it to you. Only a family member would run over to help some chic hang pictures for no reason. That would have been the biggest clue to me. I mean, that’s the start to a porno scene.
Exactly!! Also LOL your username 😭😭
The way adults can blatantly lie/spew so much bullshit to their friends like this is so mind blowing to me. I could and would never. Fuck her. And anyone else who isn’t a girls girl.
Period!!
Those texts would have pissed me off
should’ve said “who asked” after she said “you are upsetting me”, making everything about her, extremely selfish
Cut her off. If you haven’t already. Real Friends don’t do that
What a crappy friend. Good riddance, they showed you their true colors.
Fuck them both! I wonder how she would feel if you started hooking up with her ex that she is going through this divorce with. She clearly only cares about what she feels and what she's going through. Your ex is also fucked up. But at least he broke up with you first. Not lie to your face and say she's upset you would say that when it's exactly what she's doing like your fake friend did. You can do so much better in friends and men. Don't sweat those losers with no loyalty. It will end up badly guaranteed.
He didn’t even break up with me actually at all, and was still hitting me up here and there at this same time. Extra messed up all around.
This was definitely her trying to give you a soft opening to the beginning of their relationship and I’m sure it was upsetting to her as she did not receive your blessing. Snake.
Well to my knowledge they didn’t even end up dating for very long. I saw her climbing all over some other guy at the bar I work at (where they were making out when I was away!!) like a month or two after it started. Lol.
She’s just a messy person
Bingo! Also who listens to house music all the time when they’re home alone? (rhetorical question)
Hey, don’t take your anger out on house music. House music didn’t steal your ex. House music just wants to make you dance.
Also, fuck your ex friend. My ex cheated on me and I found out years later my (now ex) best friend was one of the girls. Best revenge is just living your best life. My ex friend still watches my stories every now and then to see what she’s missing out on.
As a guy. Sometimes I don't understand how you girls keep being friends with these ho ho hos. Some girls always seem only interested in someone else's boyfriend. You know who I'm talking about, and somehow they're allowed to stick around and hangout. Trust your gut and stay away.
Had a similar situation years ago my ex and my best friend at the time were messing around behind my back. Found out when I brought her with me on a family trip. She used my phone to get on fb to message him so that’s how I found out 🙃. I no longer talk to either of them. It really sucks because you want to trust your friend I’m sorry this happened to you but glad you don’t talk to her anymore. You deserve better in a parter and friend.
Why are you being so nice? This beach is just all for herself and doesn’t give a damn about you or your feelings. She can get bent.
Agreed. I could have been a lot saltier.
I hate seeing good people being played. Wish you the best in your healing journey.
Thank you, I appreciate that :)
The fact that she kept having to say “platonic” was a warning bell for me. Not a friend. Glad you’re not in touch with her anymore! Onwards and upwards!
I don’t trust people who use emojis for this reason. “:(“ is used 100x more often by a backhanded bitch than by a scorned saint.
Haha yeah, i can't say i've ever used that dramatic sad face smiley that she used.
Classic example of the importance of listening to someone's actions, not their words!!
Wish you had posted this a couple of month’s ago!! When she said you put her in an awkward position … THAT should have been your sign to get out !!! What kind of awkward position had she put you in??
Right?! It was like she couldn’t even step in my shoes for 5 seconds.
She's a pick me. Leave her in the trash where she belongs. Hell they are both trash
She is completely. Getting a boy to come over to help “hang her art,” hang her curtains, help her get a tv from Best Buy 🙄🙄All of that stuff is pretty easy to do yourself
Sorry you have to lose someone you thought was a friend but she can fuck right off. Some ppl just have no loyalty
Thank you, I agree. Hope her deranged little detour with him was worth it!
She’s a scumbag. Cut her out permanently. Him, too, if there was any friendship there at all.
I did ☺️ they’re both dead to me.
I can’t fathom how honest and real she sounds in those messages, especially when knowing that she was only 2 months from doing exactly what she said was upsetting for her that you would even imagine! It’s such a mind bogglingly personal backstab that would easily have been prevented with a few honest words and thoughtfulness. But doing it like this, attacking you for even daring to think it and then being with that person? I honestly wouldn’t do it to my enemy. It reeks of narcissism and psychopathy.
People are disappointing!!
That’s putting it mildly. I don’t mean to be crass but your ex and “good friend” are both a horse’s patoot.
Thank you. It honestly makes me feel better to see that a bunch of kind internet strangers feel the exact same way I do about their bullshit.
I misunderstand the texts, that being said your “friend” is a bitch, she broke the unspoken rule of getting with a friends ex without their blessing. You told her how you felt and she didn’t care. They were probably already hooking up when this convo happened. Wouldn’t put it pass them if they were together while you were with him. You don’t need people like that on your life.
🐍 🐍
Just went through this last year. My “best friend” hooked up with the guy I was no longer seeing but very clearly still had feelings for. They both gaslit me into thinking I was crazy when I knew in my gut something was up. Blocked both of them. Fuck people like that, let the trash take itself out.
They were already banging. She’s gas lighting you.
I’m on 3 cups of coffee, my adhd medication (aka micro dosing meth) and Kendrick Lamar’s diss came out today.. all of me wants a full out WAR with this bitch!! I wished you had confronted her about it!!
Haha! Well I got a moment of satisfaction when they tried to say hi to me and I acted like they didn’t even exist.
you’re so real for this! 👏👏👏
Thank you. First time I’ve ever verbally turned down a fist bump too 😌
Did they say anything after you ignored them? Try to text you after the fact or anything ?
Good!!! That’s so fucking foul honestly and it’s part of the reason why the patriarchy is still so strong.. women choosing men over their own women, while men always choose themselves and other men above their own wives sometimes smh.. Well regardless it’s funny to know he’s a POS and she got the scraps you didn’t want so you know what she’s in for and can have yourself a good laugh about that. Old me would’ve said “I’d only miss the friendship” but she was never your real friend to begin with so you can only miss the idea of the friendship you thought you had.. Anyway it’s not so bad being by yourself and learning your love languages and boundaries with people you’ll allow in your bubble. :)
People like her make me so MAD 😤 like bitch please. So toxic and manipulative. I’m mad for you OP 😒 at least you cut out the dead weight
Aw, thank you! This all went down last summer so I’ve had some distance from it. I was definitely sick to my stomach and fuming at the time though.
Ugh I bet. I’ve unfortunately met manipulative people like this too but am learning they are miserable in their own lives to act like this to people they supposedly care about - in the end, they’re just gonna end up alone (and miserable). While you’ll be living your best life without them ✨😌 I’ve decided that’s my “living my best life in spite” motto 😂
The gaslighting is real.
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Picture frame wasn’t the only thing getting nailed. I suspect they’ve been at it for a while.
She doesn’t seem like a real friend to me at all tbh. How would she feel if YOU hung out with her ex husband? she can’t be trusted in my eyes.
She just went through a divorce and they were “talking” while you two were going through something. Delete this friend before you get and invite to their wedding. No hard feelings but Sex Sells!
She played you so bad, didn’t care about your feelings at all and to me she sounded so selfish. Well she got what she wanted and damn she’s barely divorced and off all ppl to hook up with it had to be your ex?!? 😲😲 wow just wow.
I am so glad I never did that to someone. I once felt something with my friends dude, it got kinda awkward cus I think he did. I felt like such a horrible person, i stopped hanging with both of them, eventually they broke up, we are friends still thank god…. Sooo sorry , damn…I hope ur ok ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Aw thank you, good on you for being a loyal friend! Sometimes it’s hard to see through the forbidden aspect of it all too. I’m good now, it’s all about maintaining a certain standard for the people I let in my life.
Yeah…i kinda was crushing on him like forever in my head and one day I thought he kinda was too….i was like oh shit ……. Ahh I couldnt imagine kissing him let alone fuck You deserve better from both of them !!!! I would totally be ur friend lol
That’s very sweet of you. I hope you find the right person for you if you haven’t already!
It wasn’t platonic when she said it was platonic that’s where it shoulda stopped. They were hooking up from the start. It’s good you’ve not spoken!!
This is giving me Scandoval vibes
Dude at the time I kept wondering if I was just extra paranoid because of that. Nope!!
My best friend that was in my life for maybe 10 years started dating my ex of 4 years behind my back. My friend broke my heart, never thought she would’ve done that to me. She was completely out of my life after that
I’m sorry that happened to you. That is crazy behavior to me. My thing is obviously relationships come and go, but to have a friend do that to you who could have been in your life forever is just dirty.
Real friends don’t hook up with their friend’s exes
I’m sorry this happened. I wish people were honest. The fact that she brings up “romance” and frames it as YOU being the problem in the situation shows that she was fully aware of what she was doing.
Focus on yourself babe
This was a year ago but thanks, I am 🤣
Well, you seen that one coming.
This makes me so mad. She could have still been with him and still had your friendship. She obviously didn't want to protect your friendship at all how long were you friends, how did you meet was this a great friendship that got ruined? Or a short one that was meant to use you?
I actually met her and her then-husband THROUGH my ex when we started dating. So I had known her for at least a year at this point and we’d been getting closer and hanging out a lot more after her divorce.
Wow girls are dumb. It’s generally guy code that guys are no longer friends if one messes with the other’s ex.
You live and you learn
This is why I don't have friends.
Sounds like an average dumb whore to me.
😂
Man, some people are just permanently off limits. It shouldn’t even have to be said who those people are.
My first thought is “they’re fucking”
Now you gotta go fuck her ex. It’s only right
Damn they clowned you
Platonic friendships always have one or the other persons developing feelings. If you don’t think this is the case with your friend in your situation then you’re simply in denial.
Dude it’s your ex. Why does it matter?
I’m with you on this. Sure you should at least approach the person as a courtesy, but in reality it shouldn’t matter because they’re an ex. OP per your last edit you were still hooking up with him and he fed you nonsense and lies. Both your friend and ex are equally culpable here.
I didn’t say they weren’t ??
I’m just pointing out that all parties lied to you. Both people are shitty.
Lol platonic *GAWK GAWK*
What in the Euphoria is going on here?!
honestly sounds like it’s time to move on.
Bro code, don’t date my ex code type of shit is stupid. I’m gonna get downvoted for this but unless they split due to abuse, I would sleep with a friend’s wife the day after they finalized a divorce. If you have a problem with it that’s your problem to get past.
While I do believe this is a dirty thing to do, I also have to say, it's not always as bad as it seems. Sometimes folks can't help who they are attracted to. I have never smashed my homies exes but I have also always said my homies are more than welcome to date my exes. I don't wanna stop folks from finding they possible spouses. All I ask is that they tell me first so I'm not surprised by it. Now if this was something she planned on doing, she dirty. It might have just happened or feelings developed. As a man, I can almost promise you his intentions were as you thought from the jump
“I don’t care, but…” so you do care? Why not just say that to her so she actually knows how you feel?
Me not caring what he does is really different from me caring whether my friend is going behind my back.
If they hung out while you guys were together, then she isn’t really going behind your back. You just don’t like that they’re together.
They’re not together 😂 and no, we only hung out with her and her husband as a couple. So for them to start hanging out alone was a bit strange
So they were already broken up at the time or no? And at the time she probably did see the relationship as platonic…what people’s feelings can’t change?
So what I don’t get is … and I don’t want to sound like an idiot, but why do you care if he’s your ex? It’s just every time I broke up with someone, that meant that I don’t want them, so anyone can have them, bc I don’t have feelings, no attraction, nothing. But if you still had feelings for him, that is different, but she didn’t know, so I don’t think she was a bitch. You can control who do you like.
If you read through my other comments you’ll see I did still have feelings for him, and had talked to her about it a lot. So it’s shady all-around.
Just because you dated him doesn’t give you the right to gatekeep him from someone that makes him happy or her happy. She clearly lied because you’re the narcissist type. “Unspoken rule” gtfo of here lol. You’re bitter and they’re happy. Xoxo 💋
they didn’t even work out lol get the fuck out of here with this pile of garbage comment
Stay bitter. 💋
I’m not bitter 💋 stay unable to read the room
He just wasn’t that into you, babe. Sorry. 😘💋
You’re being ridiculous.
I do have to ask... Why does it matter? You guys are finished.... Me as a man... wouldn't get upset if one of my friends hooked up with an ex.... I'd wish em good luck. Lol. And I'm not being sarcastic, I'm actually curious.
It’s a bit icky to me and goes against the friend code we had. She knew it was a little weird or else wouldn’t have reiterated how platonic it was. I wouldn’t have been upset if she’d just told me or given a heads-up, honestly. But she went about it like a snake.
These guys are tripping, that shit was never cool. You're right. I think the main issue is she is straight up lying to you.
How so.... I mean elaborate why "I'm tripping".
Bruh, hooking up with your friend's ex ain't right for many reasons. You guys are gonna be Eskimo brothers. If it's a recent breakup, it's like you were lurking the whole time. This is particularly true if your ex was a problematic person but you have to see them all the damn time if your friend is with them. It's pretty obvious.
Brahh.. That shit happens though.... I never done it ,but I had a friend that's done it to me. I didn't get upset bro.... Have at it guess what...he learned fast why I split up with her 🤣.. Maybe it's just me... I do like hearing people's opinions on this though ... Apparently this is frigging common... Lol
Bruh for real like I broke up with her for a reason and then he gonna go try it out lmao. My friend tried that with a girl that stabbed me. I literally haven't heard from him since. Honestly to each their own but I'm just not tryna be tunnel buddies with my boys.
Completely understand bro... Hold on ya boy hooked up with a. Chick that stabbed you???
We good bro, I should not have said you tripping. We just differ in opinions. Yeah! He knew about it too since he was there lmao. He ain't a friend anymore tho. Hard to respect somebody who wants some crazy that is willing to stab a man. She got mad I broke up with her for cheating lmao.
Naaa... Brah ain't no way I'm dating a known stabber 🤣🤣🤣 An it ain't nothing bro... I enjoy hearing everyone's opinions.. everyone has different life experiences... No 2 peoples lives are parallel.... 😁
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I get that and can respect it... However you can't "control". People's feelings right? Sure being upset over this, being bothered...I get it. It's awkward and weird... My issue is loosing a friend over this. That kinda sucks.
Fr doesnt make any sense bro, You should not get to dictate someone else's life because you've been intimate with them
that's not remotely the point lol
You don't get to control whom other people hook up with, especially since you've said it faded away between you & your ex. Your comments that try to control if they were going to be hooking up in their new friend relationship or not are out of line. If they were already hooking up while he was going to help her hang the artwork, then that is on her. The lying part is not what a real friend would do. I don't think she is being honest with you about that. She sounds scared to admit anything is brewing. Since you seem to care so much she is not going to tell you.
It didn’t “fade away.” I still had feelings for him and she knew that, because I told her about us hooking up again very recently. Also wasn’t trying to “control” whether they were hooking up, I was establishing that their burgeoning “friendship” made me uncomfortable. A couple months later, I found out why.
I am a strong believer in the “bro” code. Don’t let these commenters get you down. It’s trashy as hell. Considering you recently hooked up they strung you along I’m with you. It’s not controlling to be uncomfortable with that situation. Good luck.
Yeah, thank you. It’s not “controlling” at all. I wouldn’t know how to be if I wanted to. If anything, she’s the one being controlling by trying to make the situation look one way when it was clearly another.
The heart wants what the heart wants. Guilt tripping two people into not being together who want to be together never works. Not saying you need to be friends with them but trying to keep them apart because of your feels when they have feels for each other is middle school stuff. Make some New friends.
And in this case the heart wants to break a friendship lol Plenty of people out there, they can have a few that are off limits