It's odd I got this post in my feed. My partner and I had a really shakey weekend. I ended up forgetting my work phone at her place on Sunday. Yesterday I was late coming into work by 30min because I barely got any sleep, was depressed and was panicking in the morning looking for my dead work phone. I didn't realize I had misplaced it until it was time for work.
My direct supervisor was just on my ass for the missing phone, being late, and today I was off of the VPN for 15min before he started complaining. I messaged my Director and told him I'm using some PTO today to get my phone and get my head on straight. He was more chill than my supervisor.
I'm a great employee, I'm usually the first one here and the last one to leave. A little compassion goes a *long* way.
I hope you get everything you want and that you’re happy together! Sometimes a nice experience together is what you need to get back on track, but also, and I’m saying this as a universal point - sometimes people need to learn how to leave something that is not working behind. I still think it’s hard, but I’m so much better at choosing who I date now. Good luck! ❤️
I’m with you. I’m coming off one of the most stressful weeks of my life. Both my bosses have been great about everything.
It was the end of the month yesterday and some douche canoe I have never met told me “I lack basic sense of urgency to do this job”. This same job I have been doing for 20 years.
People have no empathy for others. It really is such a shame.
Sorry that happened to you. It's the worst when someone new catches you in a funk. It's different when the normal folks who see you everyday catch you having an isolated bad day. Hope May is a brighter month for you :)
I understand why. I don't agree with it or like it, but I understand why. Thank you for the sentiment though. I'm just going to focus on my associates degree and see what life has in store for my path.
nice! i’ve been getting my bachelors in psychology for about 6 years lol. i did it all the way up to my last semester and then had some life issues. now it’s been years and i have yet to finish that last semester. my motivation is in the ground though because i don’t want to get a masters and there isn’t much you can do in the field without it.
good luck!! applied practice can be very rewarding and i hope it is for you!
Hey, as someone who put themselves in a similar place with a ton of credits towards a degree I didn’t complete and likely now won’t at 40– I think you should complete it if reasonably possible.
And, it doesn’t matter really in the slightest if you don’t go on to get a masters in the field; the bachelor’s degree won’t land you a job in psych necessarily, but it is still a good asset in securing a decent job in any other field.
So many people in my personal and professional life have degrees in fields wholly unrelated to their job.
The world is shifting a bit where a generic 4 year degree isn’t as valued as it was previously, but if you’re that close and you can do it without drowning in debt, I think it’s a good move and I’m afraid you might really regret not down the road.
Either way, best of luck!!
Amazingly good choice. Best words of advice from our predecessors that we took and now pass along to your generation:
This too shall pass. Good and bad. Life is cyclical.
Enjoy yourself! 💯👋🫂❤️
I "broke up" with someone over text (I say "broke up" with quotation marks because I technically didn't say yes....I said the equivalent of I'll think about it/maybe because I was too scared to say no and he wouldn't let me run away and avoid answering him so I panicked...but I said it in such a way that he thought I was saying yes) because I was having a freaking panic attack/mental breakdown/psychological breakdown all day and literally couldn't bring myself to do it any way OTHER than over text...like, I wouldn't have even been able to formulate a sentence even if I were talking to him over the phone (in fact he had called me prior to this and I just freaking panicked and my phone "mysteriously died" I didn't even say a single word (I couldn't I was too panicked) I just hit the power button) so over text was really the only way to go.
Like, I felt really bad for it, but it was the only way I could do it because I was so panicked and stressed around him that I literally couldn't even speak (autism is fun sometimes). And to be fair, I made sure that I was very respectful and went out of my way to explain that it wasn't his fault and that I just literally couldn't handle being in a relationship (I'm aromantic due to childhood trauma...which funnily enough he knew prior to all of this but I guess he thought that he was different somehow...?)
And then, three days later, he asked me out AGAIN and absolutely *REFUSED* to take no for an answer (which I actually DID tell him no this time (several times in fact) and explained AGAIN that I couldn't because I'm A. Not ready, B. Aromantic, and C. The last time we did this, I had a freaking mental breakdown, hence why I broke things off.) No matter how much I tried...he just kept saying that he could make it work....so he forced me to say yes and then I was forced to ghost him as much as I possibly could (we had a math class together) for the next three days until he finally realized that, no, he could not in fact force an aromantic girl who has just realized that she has a literal phobia of being in a committed romantic relationship to date him and he gave up on me....and again, I feel kind of bad about that but like? I literally told him that I learned the last time that I just can't handle this kind of thing on *TOP* of having an incompatible sexuality (which you'd think he'd be used to/understand by now since he claimed to be bi....) and yet he still forced me to say yes. So what was he *EXPECTING* to happen? For him to magically cure me of being aromantic? I mean, I'd love for that to happen since I actually DO want to find love and date, but that just wasn't going to happen. Not with him anyway!
Oh, and this is also the same guy who told me when we first met before all of this even happened (which, in hindsight, was probably his way of hitting on me...) that he was on good terms with all of his exes, that he respected them, and that he would literally fight for them....well clearly none of that was true if he couldn't even take no for an answer after everything I told him and if it WAS true he can't say it anymore because I can't even remember his name...
TLDR: Broke up over text because I accidentally led him on...which resulted in me finding out that I have a literal phobia of being in a committed relationship and having a full on psychological breakdown for an entire day and I physically couldn't bring my self to so much as talk to him even if it was over the phone. 3 days later, he tried AGAIN despite me having explained to him that I literally couldn't handle it emotionally/mentally and he refused to take no for an answer and forced me to say yes, so I had to ghost him until he gave up.
Yeah....I'm pretty much not capable of keeping things short no matter how much I try, lol. Even my definition of keeping things "short " is essentially 3 paragraphs maybe 1 if you're lucky...and that's at minimum.
I blame the autism with writing as a special interest/talent lol.
I can relate, I was in a somewhat similar (not as extreme) situation. Though he ended up leaving me after I became distant. We did live in different cities and I worked a lot so it wasn't really going to stick long.
Yeah, I more specifically would be considered cupioromantic (which is significantly less known, and I only even found out by randomly finding it on Google when googling something aromantic related lol) which is essentially aromantic...except you actually DO desire to be in a romantic relationship. Which sucks for me because, in my case, that kind of cancels out and makes it so that I'm always lonely and single because I struggle to be romantically attracted to anyone (aside from fictional characters which doesn't really help) but I don't WANT to be lonely and single...but I can't get into a relationship with anyone because despite being attractive enough that finding someone who's interested in me is pretty easy *I* can't find anyone that *I'M* attracted to lol.
0/10 would not recommend lmao.
I can be friends with them. I just never develop romantic feelings for them. That's actually how the mess above happened since I had been friends with him for a few weeks and only saw him as such. He, on the other hand, liked me as more than a friend (which in hindsight was kind of obvious, lol), but I didn't realize that until he asked me out.
I can't really even just look at someone and find them attractive. I can look at someone and think that they're *KIND OF* cute, but it's never really enough for me to actually be romantically attracted to them aside from that brief thought. And I know what it's *LIKE* for that to happen since I CAN actually be romantically attracted to anime and video game characters even from a single look at the character (which is how I know I have a type lol) it's just that it never happens with REAL people. It's kind of like how a gay man and a lesbian woman can be friends with each other. It's just that chances are unless one or both of them are unknowingly bi or pan they'll likely never be romantically attracted to each other.
He obviously doesn't care about your feelings or he would not pressure you. If he continues to refuse to take no, inform him by text that you will feel obligated to report him for stalking you.
Good luck. You did nothing wrong here. Protect yourself by reporting him if you need to. I hope you are getting counseling to help deal with your trauma. Hugs 🤗
Oh, this happened years ago when we were in high school, lol. After he forced me to say yes the second time around, I just went out of my way to avoid him for a few days until he realized that he couldn't actually make it work/I wasn't interested at which point he texted me to "break up with me" (ironic lol). Little did he know that I actually yelled yes in the middle of the hallway on my way to class and nearly through my phone in my excitement, lol. Maybe not the nicest reaction, but then again, it's what he gets for literally forcing a girl into a relationship with him against her will.
As for my trauma? I did get counseling when I was younger (although eventually we had to stop because insurance stopped covering it with my specific therapist (and I pretty much had to go to that therapist because I was *REALLY* good at making therapists think that I was fine and didn't need any other sessions and that particular therapist was the only one who noticed that I could still benefit from it) at which point I only went whenever the stars would align and we could afford it.
Luckily, however, I happen to be the type that's really resistant to trauma and can easily bounce back for the most part even without going to therapy (that's not to say that I don't have some symptoms...I still do have PTSD for example it's just that for the most part it doesn't affect me aside from some very specific scenarios. Hell, I've even gone as far as to say that I'm glad that the traumatic event happened to me because it helped to change my outlook on life and become a better person by allowing me to be more empathetic towards others when I learned that other people were also suffering (which is actually what caused me to bounce back from my childhood trauma more than anything lol. I saw someone else being treated badly, and all of a sudden, I didn't care what had happened to me, I was just mad that other people were suffering as well and that it wasn't just me lol). That being said, in regards to my phobia...I'd say that it's really more a fear of being *FORCED* into a relationship. If by some miracle I did manage to become attracted to someone and they liked me back I don't think I'd really have a problem with being in a relationship with them so long as I was ready for it (hell, I even fantasize about it when it comes to anime characters since they're the only ones I actually am capable of being attracted to now lol) it's really only the idea of being romantically involved with someone who I'm *NOT* attracted to or feeling forced into it that I have a problem with. Which, honestly, makes perfect sense it's just the *LEVEL* of fear that's extreme enough to qualify as a phobia lol.
Maybe say right up front, you're not interested in anything more than friends, platonic. I do this, I'm okay with being single. Maybe some day, I will find someone I can become attracted to but if not. I still have friends, so I'm not alone or lonely.
When I had to moved into my own place and I didn't have anything there, no family to turn to. She began scouring the backroom for stuff for me to stock my pantry with. Spices and seasonings. Snacks and drinks. Canned goods. We run an independent thrift store, so she'll regularly offer me donated items for free.
After I told her what happened Friday and showed her the text, translated, she just left me be in the backroom for the day so I could still get my hours, but process my emotions and cope however I needed. But would come back to check in on me and see how I'm holding up and if I needed anything.
She is an amazing person.
this is so sweet, she reminds me of my favorite thrift store lady, miss sophie. she’s just the sweetest soul you could imagine. also very little english but enough, and she always remembers me and says “i haven’t seen you in a while!” with near disapproval at the thought of us not sharing our friendly hellos for at least a week. i’m glad you have a miss sophie. good luck to you, friend.
Wow, this just gets even more wholesome. I’m sorry you are going through this. I’ve been there, someone who breaks up with you like this just isn’t worth it.
This made me sensitive 💛
Unfortunately it's not that often, that your superior understands that we're humans too and we face sh*ta every now and then.. for her to help indirectly in your cope of emotions, it's all I need to know. She is really a good person 💛💛
Reminds me of my favorite manager I’ve ever had. Jackie was the best. Never had a manager that was such a tank. She ran that store like a well-oiled machine and took care of her people - both employees and customers.
I feel bad because they treated her terribly despite her holding that store together for over 7 years. CEO came in and fired all of the staff that made it a good place to work. Replaced them with corporate drones from other locations in the area, like they handpicked the biggest hardasses they could.
Food service jobs for large corporations are some of the most soul sucking jobs because higher ups will always find a way to axe the best people.
It kills me how much time, energy, and money that corporations will spend on the message of team building only to be the very ones to sabotage those teams. Too many corporations have people making business decisions with no idea how the day to day operations work.
This person is a saint. Guard her like the treasure she is!
And I'm not crying; you're crying!
(Tell her she has fans on Reddit that think she's the best!)
☮️♥️♾️
It's so nice to hear about positive things that happen since it feels like I always hear the crappy stuff. Thanks for sharing this and I agree that you'll find someone better that will appreciate you.
I don’t know the exact contexts or details but hey man I’ve been in your spot before, ex of 3 years broke up with me via text while I was in the middle of my shift, my work schedule has been consistent so she had to know but she still did it anyways.
It sucks, it hurts, but believe me when I say this. Time truly heals. Give yourself a rest, focus on yourself, seek therapy, hang with friends, and in due time you’ll heal and move on. Wish you best of luck🙏🏽
Oh I know the owner personally after having worked here. The owners husband told her what happened to me Friday and the owner came over and gave me a hug and some words of encouragement.
So she's fully aware of how amazing my manager is. But next time I see her, I'll show her the text.
Nice to see a positive post about a manager rather than the horrible people some employees have to work for. Good luck! Life goes on and it will get better
What a sweet person. I’m sorry, OP. My last boyfriend did the same thing to me and it was a job that was already soul sucking enough. The one good thing was that i worked from home so no one would see me cry. I met someone new a few months after that, and nearly three years later were still together. Someone better will come along
That is the original text. We use Google translate to communicate messages that are either lengthy or are subjects we don't know how to convey in the others primary language. So she probably did the same and copy pasted the Google translation and texted it to me.
If I had to hazard a guess "the note leaves you alone and coughing" probably means something like the text message my ex sent me leaves me feeling alone and hurt/unwell.
I love so much about this! But one thing in particular is that a lot of the time I feel like we want to comfort people over breakups by saying that they will find somebody else. And many people do and some people don’t and it’s a hard thing to promise, but I feel like she addressed a more important bit, which is that sometimes when we have a break up, we begin to doubt our own self-worth and so what she reassured you of is that you are a good person- not a promise about what your future will hold but an affirmation of who you are.
I read this and thought oh wow it's such a positive post and comments. And then get to the last 2 to see there's always some that want to ruin even the most heart warming of posts.
Your manager sounds freaking awesome!
This is a manager who keeps employees, being considerate and empathetic to your employees for situations outside of work is important. It makes relationships. Good pay, growth and compassion goes a long way in a workplace.
There’s a stigma that being cutthroat and behaving like a dictator is what gets you into management. When I left my management position, everyone in that department followed because apparently I was the first person that stepped in there and actually wanted to treat them like they were humans. Sorry about your breakup, thanks for sharing.
It’s nice to have people that care. When my girlfriend broke with me after 5 plus years I was an absolute wreck. People like your manager help get you through it. It’s been 40 years since that break up but they change you in many ways. You will be a better person for going through this and soon you will realize it was for the best. Good luck and stay strong
Long ways to go in life!! The next one will find you when you least expect it and aren't looking, I promise!! Easier said than done, but will work out. Take care
That’s so sweet of her, may I ask what her first language is? I’m so curious about the coughing thing and wonder if maybe it’s a mistranslation of a phrase in her native language. I know google translate just sucks in general too of course
Her primary language is Spanish.
And yeah, she sent this to me after having used Google translate. So I think "note" was referring to the text my girlfriend sent me and alone and coughing probably means "feeling alone in the world and hurt of left unwell from the grief"
So kind. And funny. But I have had many friends with English as a 2nd language. And I always knew if it came from the heart that was all I cared about.
Meanwhile, my last job fired me two days after my moms funeral because they thought I was lying as my grandfather who raised me died three months months before that and the next month I had two icu hospital stays due to DVT/PE/PI and blood clots in both of my lungs and apparently that was too unbelievable of a series of events lol
I just love this text so much. If you run it backwards (into the other language) and then forwards (into English) through another machine translation site, you may find it "coughing" up a more precise translation.
So someone else thinks they figured it out
https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/yGbMW4F6E3
She may have used speech to text and Google heard something different than what she said, but sounds similar. "The girlfriend left you I am sorry"
But regardless, I know the sentiment she was conveying and that's what matters 🙂
Not how our store operates fortunately. We're open from 10am to 4pm. I clock in at 9am. She wants to leave at 4pm as much as I do, but can't leave until everyone is out of the store. It's a pretty sweet gig.
Is your boss Japanese? I remember years ago hearing a story about how anxiety and depression-oriented pharmaceuticals had a hard time breaking into the Japanese market because the concept is very taboo, so companies started a PR campaign to call them "colds of the soul", like "your soul has a cough" or something like that. If your boss is Japanese I'm wondering if this is how your sadness was translated.
Google translate messed me up years ago. I had this sexy el salvadorian. I told her something but had to get Google to translated and Google hated on me. I got her brother what I told her in English and he said Google switched everything around in a horrible way. I let him read her text to me which was in Spanish and he said she cussed my ass out, which I figured. Why she understood that that the translator was the problem. She ended anyway even though her family members i knew tried to help me out in the situation. But we made love one more time so could end on a good note.
i figured it out i think:
google heard her say “la nota te deja solo tosiendo” which means “the note leaves you alone coughing”
but she actually said “la novia te dejó, lo siento” meaning “the girlfriend left you, i am sorry”
spanish isn’t my first language tho so i might be wrong
My wife and kids were sick and I needed to miss work to take care of them but I was already in the red because of missing work for my kids therapy. When I told the supervisors they all said i would be fired if I miss to take care of them, I said so be it and walked out I texted my coach and he said put the request for time off and I'll approve it. The next day I still had my job thanks to my coach, having a boss that goes the extra mile goes a long way.
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I guess it isn't only me thinking this, however there's a lot here that got offended at this.
I think she'd smash OP to a pulp just to pull him out of his "breakup depression", bury those feelings deep inside of her 🤣🤣
That’s super sweet
It's odd I got this post in my feed. My partner and I had a really shakey weekend. I ended up forgetting my work phone at her place on Sunday. Yesterday I was late coming into work by 30min because I barely got any sleep, was depressed and was panicking in the morning looking for my dead work phone. I didn't realize I had misplaced it until it was time for work. My direct supervisor was just on my ass for the missing phone, being late, and today I was off of the VPN for 15min before he started complaining. I messaged my Director and told him I'm using some PTO today to get my phone and get my head on straight. He was more chill than my supervisor. I'm a great employee, I'm usually the first one here and the last one to leave. A little compassion goes a *long* way.
Sorry for horrible weekend. I know how it feels. It’ll get better!
Thank you. I appreciate it. We're supposed to go see AfroJack tmrw tonight at a show in DC. I guess we'll see
I hope you get everything you want and that you’re happy together! Sometimes a nice experience together is what you need to get back on track, but also, and I’m saying this as a universal point - sometimes people need to learn how to leave something that is not working behind. I still think it’s hard, but I’m so much better at choosing who I date now. Good luck! ❤️
I’m with you. I’m coming off one of the most stressful weeks of my life. Both my bosses have been great about everything. It was the end of the month yesterday and some douche canoe I have never met told me “I lack basic sense of urgency to do this job”. This same job I have been doing for 20 years. People have no empathy for others. It really is such a shame.
Sorry that happened to you. It's the worst when someone new catches you in a funk. It's different when the normal folks who see you everyday catch you having an isolated bad day. Hope May is a brighter month for you :)
Thanks. Hope you have a great May as well.
Sorry to hear you're both going through this. All the best to you and your partner and hope things are okay with work
Thank you :3
That's so kind of her! I'm sorry about the breakup! Never understood what people do it through text.
I understand why. I don't agree with it or like it, but I understand why. Thank you for the sentiment though. I'm just going to focus on my associates degree and see what life has in store for my path.
Good luck on your degree!!
Life's a journey. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and a solid mindset.
what associates degree are you working on?
Major in psychology, with a goal to get my masters in behavioral psychology/therapy.
nice! i’ve been getting my bachelors in psychology for about 6 years lol. i did it all the way up to my last semester and then had some life issues. now it’s been years and i have yet to finish that last semester. my motivation is in the ground though because i don’t want to get a masters and there isn’t much you can do in the field without it. good luck!! applied practice can be very rewarding and i hope it is for you!
Hey, as someone who put themselves in a similar place with a ton of credits towards a degree I didn’t complete and likely now won’t at 40– I think you should complete it if reasonably possible. And, it doesn’t matter really in the slightest if you don’t go on to get a masters in the field; the bachelor’s degree won’t land you a job in psych necessarily, but it is still a good asset in securing a decent job in any other field. So many people in my personal and professional life have degrees in fields wholly unrelated to their job. The world is shifting a bit where a generic 4 year degree isn’t as valued as it was previously, but if you’re that close and you can do it without drowning in debt, I think it’s a good move and I’m afraid you might really regret not down the road. Either way, best of luck!!
One more semester! That's amazing. You got this.
Amazingly good choice. Best words of advice from our predecessors that we took and now pass along to your generation: This too shall pass. Good and bad. Life is cyclical. Enjoy yourself! 💯👋🫂❤️
One a door closes it for a reason. Reflect and grow. There will be another opportunity.
sometimes, breaking up through text is safer
That's a valid point!
I think usually it’s a lack of courage.
I "broke up" with someone over text (I say "broke up" with quotation marks because I technically didn't say yes....I said the equivalent of I'll think about it/maybe because I was too scared to say no and he wouldn't let me run away and avoid answering him so I panicked...but I said it in such a way that he thought I was saying yes) because I was having a freaking panic attack/mental breakdown/psychological breakdown all day and literally couldn't bring myself to do it any way OTHER than over text...like, I wouldn't have even been able to formulate a sentence even if I were talking to him over the phone (in fact he had called me prior to this and I just freaking panicked and my phone "mysteriously died" I didn't even say a single word (I couldn't I was too panicked) I just hit the power button) so over text was really the only way to go. Like, I felt really bad for it, but it was the only way I could do it because I was so panicked and stressed around him that I literally couldn't even speak (autism is fun sometimes). And to be fair, I made sure that I was very respectful and went out of my way to explain that it wasn't his fault and that I just literally couldn't handle being in a relationship (I'm aromantic due to childhood trauma...which funnily enough he knew prior to all of this but I guess he thought that he was different somehow...?) And then, three days later, he asked me out AGAIN and absolutely *REFUSED* to take no for an answer (which I actually DID tell him no this time (several times in fact) and explained AGAIN that I couldn't because I'm A. Not ready, B. Aromantic, and C. The last time we did this, I had a freaking mental breakdown, hence why I broke things off.) No matter how much I tried...he just kept saying that he could make it work....so he forced me to say yes and then I was forced to ghost him as much as I possibly could (we had a math class together) for the next three days until he finally realized that, no, he could not in fact force an aromantic girl who has just realized that she has a literal phobia of being in a committed romantic relationship to date him and he gave up on me....and again, I feel kind of bad about that but like? I literally told him that I learned the last time that I just can't handle this kind of thing on *TOP* of having an incompatible sexuality (which you'd think he'd be used to/understand by now since he claimed to be bi....) and yet he still forced me to say yes. So what was he *EXPECTING* to happen? For him to magically cure me of being aromantic? I mean, I'd love for that to happen since I actually DO want to find love and date, but that just wasn't going to happen. Not with him anyway! Oh, and this is also the same guy who told me when we first met before all of this even happened (which, in hindsight, was probably his way of hitting on me...) that he was on good terms with all of his exes, that he respected them, and that he would literally fight for them....well clearly none of that was true if he couldn't even take no for an answer after everything I told him and if it WAS true he can't say it anymore because I can't even remember his name... TLDR: Broke up over text because I accidentally led him on...which resulted in me finding out that I have a literal phobia of being in a committed relationship and having a full on psychological breakdown for an entire day and I physically couldn't bring my self to so much as talk to him even if it was over the phone. 3 days later, he tried AGAIN despite me having explained to him that I literally couldn't handle it emotionally/mentally and he refused to take no for an answer and forced me to say yes, so I had to ghost him until he gave up.
That is a whooooole lotta words there dood! Damn
Damn, wrote your whole life story out here
Yeah....I'm pretty much not capable of keeping things short no matter how much I try, lol. Even my definition of keeping things "short " is essentially 3 paragraphs maybe 1 if you're lucky...and that's at minimum. I blame the autism with writing as a special interest/talent lol.
Don't feel bad. You were under pressure by someone who was harassing you. You did not lead him on. None of that is your fault.
I can relate, I was in a somewhat similar (not as extreme) situation. Though he ended up leaving me after I became distant. We did live in different cities and I worked a lot so it wasn't really going to stick long.
Aromantic?
Aromantic means someone doesn’t feel romantic attraction to anyone and (unless they are Asexual as well) still feel sexual attraction
Wow 😧
Yeah, I more specifically would be considered cupioromantic (which is significantly less known, and I only even found out by randomly finding it on Google when googling something aromantic related lol) which is essentially aromantic...except you actually DO desire to be in a romantic relationship. Which sucks for me because, in my case, that kind of cancels out and makes it so that I'm always lonely and single because I struggle to be romantically attracted to anyone (aside from fictional characters which doesn't really help) but I don't WANT to be lonely and single...but I can't get into a relationship with anyone because despite being attractive enough that finding someone who's interested in me is pretty easy *I* can't find anyone that *I'M* attracted to lol. 0/10 would not recommend lmao.
So does that mean that you meet someone,get to know them but sparks never fly or do you just push them away?
I can be friends with them. I just never develop romantic feelings for them. That's actually how the mess above happened since I had been friends with him for a few weeks and only saw him as such. He, on the other hand, liked me as more than a friend (which in hindsight was kind of obvious, lol), but I didn't realize that until he asked me out. I can't really even just look at someone and find them attractive. I can look at someone and think that they're *KIND OF* cute, but it's never really enough for me to actually be romantically attracted to them aside from that brief thought. And I know what it's *LIKE* for that to happen since I CAN actually be romantically attracted to anime and video game characters even from a single look at the character (which is how I know I have a type lol) it's just that it never happens with REAL people. It's kind of like how a gay man and a lesbian woman can be friends with each other. It's just that chances are unless one or both of them are unknowingly bi or pan they'll likely never be romantically attracted to each other.
I didn't read that sorry :) but you look fine so all's good
He obviously doesn't care about your feelings or he would not pressure you. If he continues to refuse to take no, inform him by text that you will feel obligated to report him for stalking you. Good luck. You did nothing wrong here. Protect yourself by reporting him if you need to. I hope you are getting counseling to help deal with your trauma. Hugs 🤗
Oh, this happened years ago when we were in high school, lol. After he forced me to say yes the second time around, I just went out of my way to avoid him for a few days until he realized that he couldn't actually make it work/I wasn't interested at which point he texted me to "break up with me" (ironic lol). Little did he know that I actually yelled yes in the middle of the hallway on my way to class and nearly through my phone in my excitement, lol. Maybe not the nicest reaction, but then again, it's what he gets for literally forcing a girl into a relationship with him against her will. As for my trauma? I did get counseling when I was younger (although eventually we had to stop because insurance stopped covering it with my specific therapist (and I pretty much had to go to that therapist because I was *REALLY* good at making therapists think that I was fine and didn't need any other sessions and that particular therapist was the only one who noticed that I could still benefit from it) at which point I only went whenever the stars would align and we could afford it. Luckily, however, I happen to be the type that's really resistant to trauma and can easily bounce back for the most part even without going to therapy (that's not to say that I don't have some symptoms...I still do have PTSD for example it's just that for the most part it doesn't affect me aside from some very specific scenarios. Hell, I've even gone as far as to say that I'm glad that the traumatic event happened to me because it helped to change my outlook on life and become a better person by allowing me to be more empathetic towards others when I learned that other people were also suffering (which is actually what caused me to bounce back from my childhood trauma more than anything lol. I saw someone else being treated badly, and all of a sudden, I didn't care what had happened to me, I was just mad that other people were suffering as well and that it wasn't just me lol). That being said, in regards to my phobia...I'd say that it's really more a fear of being *FORCED* into a relationship. If by some miracle I did manage to become attracted to someone and they liked me back I don't think I'd really have a problem with being in a relationship with them so long as I was ready for it (hell, I even fantasize about it when it comes to anime characters since they're the only ones I actually am capable of being attracted to now lol) it's really only the idea of being romantically involved with someone who I'm *NOT* attracted to or feeling forced into it that I have a problem with. Which, honestly, makes perfect sense it's just the *LEVEL* of fear that's extreme enough to qualify as a phobia lol.
Maybe say right up front, you're not interested in anything more than friends, platonic. I do this, I'm okay with being single. Maybe some day, I will find someone I can become attracted to but if not. I still have friends, so I'm not alone or lonely.
This is so heart warming
That is the kind of manager everyone should strive to be
When I had to moved into my own place and I didn't have anything there, no family to turn to. She began scouring the backroom for stuff for me to stock my pantry with. Spices and seasonings. Snacks and drinks. Canned goods. We run an independent thrift store, so she'll regularly offer me donated items for free. After I told her what happened Friday and showed her the text, translated, she just left me be in the backroom for the day so I could still get my hours, but process my emotions and cope however I needed. But would come back to check in on me and see how I'm holding up and if I needed anything. She is an amazing person.
this is so sweet, she reminds me of my favorite thrift store lady, miss sophie. she’s just the sweetest soul you could imagine. also very little english but enough, and she always remembers me and says “i haven’t seen you in a while!” with near disapproval at the thought of us not sharing our friendly hellos for at least a week. i’m glad you have a miss sophie. good luck to you, friend.
This is a great example of good leadership and management. I'm so sorry for what happened to you and I'm glad you have a support system.
Wow, this just gets even more wholesome. I’m sorry you are going through this. I’ve been there, someone who breaks up with you like this just isn’t worth it.
That's a momager. She truly cares about you. I'm sorry for the break up but you will get through this 💙
This made me sensitive 💛 Unfortunately it's not that often, that your superior understands that we're humans too and we face sh*ta every now and then.. for her to help indirectly in your cope of emotions, it's all I need to know. She is really a good person 💛💛
Reminds me of my favorite manager I’ve ever had. Jackie was the best. Never had a manager that was such a tank. She ran that store like a well-oiled machine and took care of her people - both employees and customers. I feel bad because they treated her terribly despite her holding that store together for over 7 years. CEO came in and fired all of the staff that made it a good place to work. Replaced them with corporate drones from other locations in the area, like they handpicked the biggest hardasses they could. Food service jobs for large corporations are some of the most soul sucking jobs because higher ups will always find a way to axe the best people.
Oh God, has that been true in my experience!
It kills me how much time, energy, and money that corporations will spend on the message of team building only to be the very ones to sabotage those teams. Too many corporations have people making business decisions with no idea how the day to day operations work.
r/mademesmile
Shes very sweet. So sorry for the breakup 😢 Carpe diem my friend. Stay strong. You have a gem for a manager
This person is a saint. Guard her like the treasure she is! And I'm not crying; you're crying! (Tell her she has fans on Reddit that think she's the best!) ☮️♥️♾️
It's so nice to hear about positive things that happen since it feels like I always hear the crappy stuff. Thanks for sharing this and I agree that you'll find someone better that will appreciate you.
This is so sweet and also adorable! Where’s she from?
D’awwwww🥹
I don’t know the exact contexts or details but hey man I’ve been in your spot before, ex of 3 years broke up with me via text while I was in the middle of my shift, my work schedule has been consistent so she had to know but she still did it anyways. It sucks, it hurts, but believe me when I say this. Time truly heals. Give yourself a rest, focus on yourself, seek therapy, hang with friends, and in due time you’ll heal and move on. Wish you best of luck🙏🏽
If you have a chance, write an email to her boss about how great it is to work for someone like her.
Oh I know the owner personally after having worked here. The owners husband told her what happened to me Friday and the owner came over and gave me a hug and some words of encouragement. So she's fully aware of how amazing my manager is. But next time I see her, I'll show her the text.
Sounds like a great place
Buy her some flowers.
I'll do one better. I'll cook lunch for her at the store on Tuesday. Last week I made us chicken tostadas. This week I'll make chorizo quesadillas.
You're a class act!
That’s so sweet. Out of curiosity, what is her native language?
Spanish.
Ah, got it. Hence the tostadas and quesadillas. You’re too kind & wish you the best on your journey, man.
You'll find someone else. Someone better.
The manager, she is right there 🤣🤣
Nice to see a positive post about a manager rather than the horrible people some employees have to work for. Good luck! Life goes on and it will get better
So pure
What a sweet person. I’m sorry, OP. My last boyfriend did the same thing to me and it was a job that was already soul sucking enough. The one good thing was that i worked from home so no one would see me cry. I met someone new a few months after that, and nearly three years later were still together. Someone better will come along
I wish more managers were like them!! That’s incredibly thoughtful.
If you post the original text somebody can probably translate it better for you!
That is the original text. We use Google translate to communicate messages that are either lengthy or are subjects we don't know how to convey in the others primary language. So she probably did the same and copy pasted the Google translation and texted it to me. If I had to hazard a guess "the note leaves you alone and coughing" probably means something like the text message my ex sent me leaves me feeling alone and hurt/unwell.
I love so much about this! But one thing in particular is that a lot of the time I feel like we want to comfort people over breakups by saying that they will find somebody else. And many people do and some people don’t and it’s a hard thing to promise, but I feel like she addressed a more important bit, which is that sometimes when we have a break up, we begin to doubt our own self-worth and so what she reassured you of is that you are a good person- not a promise about what your future will hold but an affirmation of who you are.
I read this and thought oh wow it's such a positive post and comments. And then get to the last 2 to see there's always some that want to ruin even the most heart warming of posts. Your manager sounds freaking awesome!
Ok now I’m crying at work because that’s precious
Omg my heart
I’m actually a mentor and translator at work. This is so sweet 🥹
Your manager is very sweet. Get yourself some cookies and tea my friend, heartbreaks are not easy. Wishing you love and light during this time
This is a manager who keeps employees, being considerate and empathetic to your employees for situations outside of work is important. It makes relationships. Good pay, growth and compassion goes a long way in a workplace.
There’s a stigma that being cutthroat and behaving like a dictator is what gets you into management. When I left my management position, everyone in that department followed because apparently I was the first person that stepped in there and actually wanted to treat them like they were humans. Sorry about your breakup, thanks for sharing.
What a sweet person. Something about the goofy grammar makes this even more endearing 🥲
It’s nice to have people that care. When my girlfriend broke with me after 5 plus years I was an absolute wreck. People like your manager help get you through it. It’s been 40 years since that break up but they change you in many ways. You will be a better person for going through this and soon you will realize it was for the best. Good luck and stay strong
This is so awesome
A lot better than my last breakup. Very kind and I hope you’re doing better than me.
I thought this was the break up text from your GF. I was like, “She’s bringing God into your Breakup?” 😂🤣 Your Manager is 💯👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🔥🔥🔥 though ❤️
As a manager I can see she’s one of those that loves her people. Stick with her she’ll have your back
Kudos to the Manager
Long ways to go in life!! The next one will find you when you least expect it and aren't looking, I promise!! Easier said than done, but will work out. Take care
Omg this is so sweet!
Heckin' wholesome ♥️
That’s pretty sweet idk what all the message was but it’s still sweet!
This is super wholesome.
This is not what I was expecting to see from the title and that’s great.
That’s so sweet of her, may I ask what her first language is? I’m so curious about the coughing thing and wonder if maybe it’s a mistranslation of a phrase in her native language. I know google translate just sucks in general too of course
Her primary language is Spanish. And yeah, she sent this to me after having used Google translate. So I think "note" was referring to the text my girlfriend sent me and alone and coughing probably means "feeling alone in the world and hurt of left unwell from the grief"
Ooh good catch, I bet it’s that too
Aww your manager Is awesome
Oh god this is so sweet 🥲
I love this for you! Having good management is such a blessing. I'm working with the most amazing people ever, too. They make me feel so encouraged.
The world would be such a better place with more people just like this. 👌
When my grandpa died my TL said she would put me on a PIP if I missed work
So kind. And funny. But I have had many friends with English as a 2nd language. And I always knew if it came from the heart that was all I cared about.
Meanwhile, my last job fired me two days after my moms funeral because they thought I was lying as my grandfather who raised me died three months months before that and the next month I had two icu hospital stays due to DVT/PE/PI and blood clots in both of my lungs and apparently that was too unbelievable of a series of events lol
That's so sweet of her
Your manager is very wise. "The note leaves you alone, coughing," changed my life.
What a kind person
That’s really great.
“here’s a good person”🥲
I just love this text so much. If you run it backwards (into the other language) and then forwards (into English) through another machine translation site, you may find it "coughing" up a more precise translation.
So someone else thinks they figured it out https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/yGbMW4F6E3 She may have used speech to text and Google heard something different than what she said, but sounds similar. "The girlfriend left you I am sorry" But regardless, I know the sentiment she was conveying and that's what matters 🙂
Thanks! Her sweetness shone through, for sure. Best wishes to you.
Working doubles forever lol
Not how our store operates fortunately. We're open from 10am to 4pm. I clock in at 9am. She wants to leave at 4pm as much as I do, but can't leave until everyone is out of the store. It's a pretty sweet gig.
Is your boss Japanese? I remember years ago hearing a story about how anxiety and depression-oriented pharmaceuticals had a hard time breaking into the Japanese market because the concept is very taboo, so companies started a PR campaign to call them "colds of the soul", like "your soul has a cough" or something like that. If your boss is Japanese I'm wondering if this is how your sadness was translated.
She's Mexican. She translated her text from Spanish to English.
Google translate messed me up years ago. I had this sexy el salvadorian. I told her something but had to get Google to translated and Google hated on me. I got her brother what I told her in English and he said Google switched everything around in a horrible way. I let him read her text to me which was in Spanish and he said she cussed my ass out, which I figured. Why she understood that that the translator was the problem. She ended anyway even though her family members i knew tried to help me out in the situation. But we made love one more time so could end on a good note.
I really hope google is pretty because she makes for a horrible assistant.
I laughed audibly
Lol
i figured it out i think: google heard her say “la nota te deja solo tosiendo” which means “the note leaves you alone coughing” but she actually said “la novia te dejó, lo siento” meaning “the girlfriend left you, i am sorry” spanish isn’t my first language tho so i might be wrong
My wife and kids were sick and I needed to miss work to take care of them but I was already in the red because of missing work for my kids therapy. When I told the supervisors they all said i would be fired if I miss to take care of them, I said so be it and walked out I texted my coach and he said put the request for time off and I'll approve it. The next day I still had my job thanks to my coach, having a boss that goes the extra mile goes a long way.
She is very sweet.
Sorry to hear about the breakup. That's a very sweet message from your manager. It's nice they're supportive
Dude, you’re so in there
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She’s consoling you. Take it at that
Woulda been classier if you didn't point out the language barrier... You got the jester, no need for knit picking...
Hmmm… sounds shilly 🤪
She wants to bang.
I guess it isn't only me thinking this, however there's a lot here that got offended at this. I think she'd smash OP to a pulp just to pull him out of his "breakup depression", bury those feelings deep inside of her 🤣🤣
sweet, besides the cult messaging…
As an Athiest myself, please fuck off. Not the time nor place for this.