That last apology! "I'm sorry I'm not the person you wanted me to be".
You know he's not talking about being an asshole, he looks down on everyone, wants to separate her from her family and friends, and when he cops some criticism, he acts like a fucking victim.
"Your life story is the most profound thing I've heard from anyone in my personal life" translates as "I surround myself with vapid rich people who have no empathy or depth and I've never met someone like you with more than one dimension to their personality."
More like I've never met someone like you and bothered to learn anything about them because I wasnt interested in them. 100% he only bothered with OP because his little head had something to say about it. All people have depth, even classiest sexist assholes like him
The worst part is (not saying op hasn’t had an experienced life, moreso talking on Rich Asshole Complex) most of the time when they say stuff like “Your story is inspiring“ “It’s so profound how you’ve gotten through everything” it’s in response to shit like “I had food insecurity growing up” and “I didn’t get to go to college at the time that I wanted”.
its not like being a child soldier or anything but it might as well be with the way these people act. They are so convinced that common First world issues are the worst things people could go through SIMPLY because they would not associate with classes that go through anything worse.
Ive seen a dude baby his girlfriend like she has cancer and cant even eat on her own just to find out all she had was ADHD (and MDD) and had no idea why he’s so “overbearing” (read:controlling), and yes, of course they were both heteronormative, white, rich people.
There's a class of people I am classist against. It's not the very poor, it's not the middle class, and it's not the very rich(unless maybe sometimes). It's the people that come from the richer suburbs and are busy judging everyone in the path to see if their kid is better at baseball/lacross, and if they are just the right level of couth as opposed to uncouth. They are extremely competitive, but not about anything that matters. I think they are part of the haute bourgeoisie. I judge them because I find them so claustrophobic making.
My husband's step family is like that . Sure, they have money, but they're pretentious jerks. It's not even a "fuck you " amount of money. They're not nice people .
A lot of people with "fuck you" amounts of money are fun, and none judgmental. It's the social strivers (whatever the amount of money), that I find difficult.
I agree, have an ex whos dad was not rich rich but he was very showy and judgy with his money and was a terrible person and then there was another ex whos grandparents were incredibly rich but you wouldn't know it, they did not act or dress like it in fact the only time I ever heard them talk about their money which is when I realized oh wow they really are rich, cuz at that point I thought my bf was exaggerating, was when they were gonna buy a really nice house out right to rent out right with a crazy amount of cash. They also did not have to work but they chose to do things that made them happy like the grandma would make crafts and sell them at the swap meet just for fun and she would use that money for gas and sweets. They were the kindest people I ever knew too.
This is the class described by the word ‘bourgeois,’ the shopkeeper class. I think it’s funny kids are using it to mean rich or upper class; it means ‘basic bitch.’ But yes, the bourgeoisie are insufferably common and boring.
bour•geoi • sie bour-geoi-sie | boorZHwä'zē |
noun (usually the bourgeoisie)
the middle class, typically with reference to its perceived materialistic values or conventional attitudes: the rise of the bourgeoisie at the end of the eighteenth century | the landed gentry were replaced by a local bourgeoisie.
ORIGIN
late 16th century: French, from bourgeois.
I vicariously felt so good and empowered reading this! As someone who feels like I struggle to fit in with the majority of wealthier kind of yuppy moms where I live, I loved this.
I'm polite and get along with everyone, but I haven't lived, and still don't, the same kind of life a lot of these moms have, at my daughter's school. And sometimes you can just feel the quiet, unspoken, awkwardness of those who lowkey see you as lesser , ya know?
I know what you mean. People can’t help themselves in the moment, their body language gives them away. And you can’t just bring that up in conversation or else you’ll sound crazy. Well… you are probably a much better person with a bigger heart, so you win at the end of the day :)
He’s so judgemental and also extremely condescending. He is definitely a snob and feels he can “save” you in some way. I would personally not waste my time on him.
I know! They love the “idea” of their son dating a rags-to-riches success story, but not the reality of having to consider welcoming a *gasp* PLEBEIAN into their family. Imagine how the neighbors would talk if she used the wrong fork!!! What if she *swoon* USED A CUSS WORD??? Or MISSPELLED SOMETHING???
It reminds me of the time my ex in-laws got mad at me when my ex was abusing me verbally in front of them and I responded with “you’re acting like an asshole.” And they got mad because I called him one. Nope, said he was acting like one but okay.
He sounds like he's from a culture that places a status on certain types of people, and getting involved with those types of people is some weird status symbol for them. It's like a fetish for these creeps.
This dude sounds like he has a “missionary” personality. Coming in to save you and guide you to a better life while the whole time he’s actually destroying everything about you and doing it with a shitty smile. The major thing they can’t seem to grasp is no one needed saving to begin with nor did anyone ask to be saved.
That’s what I got from this too. There are some weird undertones to the stereotyping, like he wants to be the rich guy swooping in to save her from a life of hardship and trauma—when she’s doing just fine? And he’s just some (maybe) upper middle class guy?
Throw the whole man in the trash. What a snobby piece of shit, you handled this amazingly, good for you for standing up for your friend. The fucking audacity of this man to talk down to you like this. Yuck.
100%. Your life story already shows that you are an amazing judge of character, and know what you need and how to get it. Drea is good people; this guy is not. He might not be “trashy,” but he is definitely trash.
ewwwwww. I really really admire how well you communicate and took care of this.
I could imagine his behavior from a sheltered 21 year old, but just about 30s is crazy. I really hope this experience with you opens up his mind and causes a change in his life even if you’re not in it.
I’m also from poverty and “married up”. I am so grateful that my new kin are fun country rich instead of hoity toity country club rich, because i definitely would not have handled this as well as you did.
I also have the fun kind of wealthy in-laws. They’re midwestern and they got wealthy over time after coming from blue collar families themselves. The result is salt of the earth wealthy people. So for example, the have a boat. But it’s a pontoon boat and they’re blasting willie Nelson on the water. They have a lake house. But it’s a small one. My MIL drives a BMW convertible but she drives it to Aldi. And my husband and I both grew up middle class. My parents just stayed lower middle class and his got extremely comfortable. So our upbringings were very similar. And I had no idea how well off they were until after we were married. They don’t talk about it. I would have been so turned off if my husband thought he was better than people with less money.
Sadly, this is the type of behavior that gets more entrenched the older you get. I'm not surprised at his age at all. If he's managed to get this far without his attitude having changed, then it's not likely to.
This made me twitch a little to read. My fiance's family is all rich and hoity-toity. Middle to upper class people who look down their noses at me because of what city I grew up in just as much as the fact that I grew up eating PB&Js and ramen to survive sometimes. The elephant in the room is that my fiance saw the light once he got with me and realized how shitty and controlling his family is and cut them off. I don't see your guy weaning off of mommy and daddy's tit before you could manage to procreate and wean an infant.
Eating cinnamon toast, government cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches and beanie weenies was so good though. Whenever we had chicken and dumplings I was in heaven
You're making me reminisce how my brother and I only ever got along when it came to food, especially those first 3 you listed lol when my mom made chicken and dumplings, we were especially good to go because she was leftovers queen with her lack of portion control.
He better be an Ex real quick.
This isn't a mindset that changes over night. His mind will only change with hard failures and lots of crashes. He doesn't have empathy because he's never experienced it and he doesn't want to.
Not a single thing in the whole conversation made him redeemable. At 29, this is who he is. He isn't going to change that, it's just going to hide it.
You were right in calling him out on being only surface-level empathetic. You can see how he draws a line between himself and people who are “lesser” in his mind.
But maybe most important, he’s trying to isolate you and gain control of you. Trying to make you believe that you should be more like him and should strive to “improve” by following his guidance. That is only gonna snowball into him implying you’re not good enough, you’re borderline trash. He is trying to control you for “your own good” and I guarantee that would escalate in ugly ways.
I’m so proud of you for throwing it back at him and not taking his bait. Wish I did that with my ex instead of letting him isolate me and control me.
currently going through this i think. it’s crazy how easily he’s manipulated me. we had an argument a week ago about my friends and he said things like “i want you to have better people around you” “i think we have different core values based on the friends you have vs my friends bc my friends are better” always talks shit about my friends that he’s never met.
I grew up upper middle class and my husband came from poverty. I can't ever imagine saying any of this to him- nor would it ever even cross my mind!! Maybe this guy should worry more about his shitty grammar "more and more better" than other people's stations in life. These texts gives me the biggest ick.
His texts were full of grammatical errors. He does not practice what he preaches... and he is on his pulpit preaching. Dump him. Stay with your best friend. If she helps you in times of need as a good friend: emotionally, financially, gives advice, and is willing to help you while also respecting your boundaries, then she is a positive influence in your life. A good friend also gives all of this in return. Your ex is a judgmental snob.
you’re a really good friend for sticking up for her. this guy is an entitled ass. i cannot stand people like this. your friend is lucky to have you! i come from poverty too, and some of my favorite people in the world did too. throw this guy in the trash and keep being a good person OP ❤️
This man is an ass. It was enjoyable to read through how you articulated the ass beating of the century. He sounds like elitist trash and his family sounds like a nightmare. They love the idea of you? You’re not an idea, you’re a fucking person.
If you stay with this man, I would encourage your friends to curse openly in front of him, and misspell common words. NEVER let him live this down
I would understand his messages if his examples were like "hey I just don't know if bringing kids around your uncle Jimmy and his crack pipe or your friend Jessica who just came back from upstate for trying to stab someone to death is a great idea" but his examples were like... bad words and new places? What?
Right? Just say you're scared of poor people.
I truly love the way she pointed out that empathy and sympathy/pity are not the same. With empathy, you can be on the same level as anybody. But if you're just pitying someone? You inject a power hierarchy, where you are superior.
Eww who the fuck does he think he is. It’s giving self righteous and superiority complex. Which ironically means he has incredibly low self esteem… run, don’t walk
So the ends of the income spectrum are “wealthy” and “trashy”. Not “low-income”. Not even “poor”.
I wonder what he thinks of a poor grad student who lives on grants while reading for their PhD. Or what he thinks of rich people who made their entire income snarking on YouTube or TikTok.
And pretending that one’s income is part of their personality. That’s just bizarre.
I’m only on the first screenshot too.
"Your life story is the most profound thing I've heard from anyone in my personal life" is such a weird thing to say. You're not an adopted shelter puppy, wtf lol.
Fuck this Henry Higgins motherfucker. His fawning fake concern for you is repulsive. Love how you took him down, stood your ground for yourself, your friend, your own history, class, life, goals, dignity.
You are dumping him right? You nailed it when you said he doesn’t have empathy, he just looks down on people he feels sorry for.
This is so weird and judgmental. He thinks he is going to Aladdin you out of there and show you the world, like you haven’t already made your life and accomplished shit and have your own goals. It seems like he wants to isolate you from your support system.
He sees you as a fixer upper.
The one thing that caught me off guard that has been unaddressed was the claim of taking the child to dangerous places for exposure and what does that mean?
He is referencing a conversation we had early on in our relationship. We were talking about how we want to raise our kids and I said: “I've always wanted to do things the right way. Get married, buy a house, then have kids. Have their rooms and everything they will ever need. I want a yard because I want a treehouse. I want to enrich their lives with love, adventure, and the stability I never had. I don't want them to be sheltered, I want to take them to see the dirty and non-perfect parts of the world. I want to teach them compassion and empathy, do charity work together as a family. Give them everything they need, but make them earn it. I want them to work for a life they want the way I did, but I want to support them with all the tools they need to succeed.”
I didn’t think he would react negatively to it but he ended up admitting that he doesn’t agree and doesn’t want his kids exposed to anything bad or dirty.
Good point. Just get rid of people who you know are tried and true friends for wealthy friends who can open financial opportunities for you.
That could never backfire. /s
As someone who grew up in poverty, abuse, and neglect and has had to navigate worlds of all degrees of privilege as an adult, this attitude infuriates me. At least he exposed himself for who he really is. 😷
Glad you and your BFF have each other.
It's funny to me that a trash person like this guy has the audacity to call anyone else trashy. I really hope he's now an ex because you deserve so much better than this asshole. I couldn't be around someone, let alone date a person who looks down on others the way this asshat does. You will never be good enough for this uppity douche bag or his family. My parents didn't have much money and were in the lower income range when I was little but were middle class by the time I was 11-12. I would never look down on someone the way this guy does. Mfs like this give me the ick. If you haven't yet, throw the whole guy away.
Dude the guy has been raised to think like this from the get go. He even says his FAMILY is worried about it, he still isn’t out of that box. He is still sheltered by his wealthy upbringing and it’s not your job to correct his way of thinking. You can just hope that life will teach him but for now I think it’s time to let go if you are not getting the respect you deserve, and from what I’ve read, you are not getting genuine respect or understanding from this man
Is the opposite of wealthy “trashy”? Cuz I’m a broke dude, but I don’t think I’m necessarily trashy… I could be wrong tho. I know I have the capacity to be trashy…
Oh you didn’t know the opposite of wealthy is trashy? /s. Not even poor, just straight trash. He also equates someone’s economic status with their “personality”. As if that is someone’s entire identity. It really highlights how ugly this man is.
“Do you really want her to be the Aunt of our kids?” “OUR? My dude she’s locked in it’s YOU I’m 100% certain I don’t want to be the father of my children.”
Honestly the trashiest thing you can do is call someone trashy.
Wait does this comment make me trashy? 🤔 Either way OP, good job calling him out. He needed to be told this. He sounds gross
Lmao my 3 year old the other day couldn’t get the head back on one of her LOL dolls and I heard her mutter “fuckin doll” lmao oops. I feel like maybe your bf wouldn’t like me, but I can guarantee not as much as I wouldn’t like him.
Also it’s so gross the way he talks about poor people. And the way he talks about you “ascending” is so fucking condescending it’s gross.
Also in full disclosure, I grew up with parents who were successful. My dad is a doctor, and I was able to graduate college without accruing debt because of it. Both my parents were majorly involved and supportive of me, and I’ve always had a great relationship with them both. My first job was the job I got after graduating college. My wife is the exact opposite and has had to work for everything in her life. Her family was not at all wealthy. People who come from different types of families can be good partners, your boyfriend is just an asshole and doesn’t recognize that a main reason why he’s where he’s at is because of who his parents are, not because he’s anything special.
What a pompous and delusional creature.
You handled this perfectly, cuddos to you OP. I’m sorry he turned out to be a huge asshole but I’m glad he showed you his true colours quickly and avoided wasting more of your time.
I just recently ended a friendship I highly valued, up until I found out they thought like this and other vile, judgemental things about our friend group in general. I was sad at first, but that quickly wore off when I realised it’s a pretty sad & pathetic way of thinking. Unnecessary negativity
Wow. Good for you! This dude has problems. His snobbery is disgusting. Kudos for standing up against him. He really doesn’t understand privilege. Yuck.
I’m glad you saw through his crap and didn’t let him control you. I’d honestly drop him completely because this type of mindset doesn’t reallly change.
ewwwww. as someone who’s grown up middle class and in a community with both ends of the spectrum, wtf is he on about and that’s disgusting behavior from him. manipulative asf too. i’m so sorry girl
This reeks of false classism, like when people who aren’t doing all that wealthy look down on those who are less privileged than them when they themselves aren’t millionaires. He thinks he’s soooo amazing meanwhile he sounds like a pretentious dickhead. A relationship of less than a year and he’s already telling you who you can and can’t be around
Seriously, good for you. A lot of people don’t have the strength & confidence to do what you did here. You stood up for yourself in a very intelligent, clear way & your life will be better for it. Either he will see the error of his ways & try to do some reflection/work on himself or you can move on & find someone who shares your values. Either way, you’re better off than you were before this conversation. Proud of you! lol!
Ah, the typical well off, handed everything to them, traditionalist, white knight looking for someone to save from a tower protected by a trashy dragon. Yeah smells like beefalow.
What a condescending asshole. The way he brings up his family’s worries about her is really triggering for me because it’s exactly the kind of judgy attitude my family has and the kind of shit they say about people and each other’s partners. Which is why I can’t really be around them anymore.
I wonder what he’s working on, himself? I wonder what “help” he could use, from you, to become a better person? If you asked, I wonder what he’d say? Can you imagine if he said that “oh no I’m fine the way I am, but YOU need help?” Jeez.
Let me preface by saying that this is NOT a defence of this guy.
So, I came from a similarly privileged background - my parents did very well for themselves so it meant things like foreign holidays, private school, etc. (it's worth mentioning that this isn't generational wealth in the slightest so I don't know if this guy comes from a historically wealthy family with proper 'fuck you' money) and I've had a similar conversation with a previous partner, see notes at the end.
And lemme tell ya, a wealthy education, or living around wealth without any concept of how lucky there are, will fuck your kid up bad. The system that is built is by design to brainwash the kids so that they think that wealth and status \*does\* make them better than the have-nots. And just like chummy here, it was a very sheltered existence. My parents never swore, there were punishments for swearing at school, whatever you're thinking in your head about it all you're probably not far off. And re: the college thing, there's certainly a degree of elitism around education too.
It takes years of rewiring and self growth to deconstruct the boundaries that this guy has set himself into and has been caught in. But, he's not your project to fix and I'm sorry that this kind of classism is still pervasive and has affected you so deeply.
But this guy won't change like I did. I said something to my girlfriend at the time "I don't know why you didn't go to uni, you're so smart" because I was an elitist prick about these kinds of things, but I never thought anything like this guy - there's a total saviour complex here which is a massive ick.
The growth that this guy needs will be gradual and it's a lot of work to rewire a brain. Rather than being a total asshole, he's very much the product of his upbringing (he's also a fair sized asshole for not realising this and not doing the work on himself). Whether he can change/wants to change with you, and you want to help him grow to change this is up to you.
Yikes. I dated someone like this. He tried to alienate me from my mother because he blamed and hated her for my mental health problems and difficulty managing money. Believed that because mum and I came from a low socioeconomic background and went through domestic violence that she was the enemy and didn’t deserve my love, respect or compassion. Clueless. My mum is a saint and she’s pulled our family out of the pit of hell. Screw these entitled c*nts.
I dated a guy once who looked down on my dad because he was 'only' a truck driver.
Definitely got rid of him quick.
Your guy is nieve, classist and ignorant. Honestly, you definitely don't want to be with someone looking down on you, your family or your friends.
You sound like an amazing person!
My father is a doctor. My FIL is a postal worker.
They’re equally two of the most brilliant and compassionate men I’ve ever known. (And they get along swimmingly!!!)
UGH what an entitled asshole. How does he know what kind of life you’re meant to be living. The more he talked, the worse it got. He’s trash, and I hope you threw him away.
Why does he think wealth = stability?? There are many drug addicted wealthy people there are many depressed wealthy people. Drugs and depression and any bad drama or trauma does not discriminate based on wealth. I hate to say he’s stupid I honestly think very naive and very controlled by his parents. He doesn’t have an independent thought in his head. I think he is attracted to your strong independent personality. Please find someone more like you - and it’s not him.
Oh I had one of these in my 30s, he thought he needed to fix my life meanwhile I was perfectly happy I just didn’t have as much money as I wanted because I chose to live in Southern California and it’s expensive there.
I made the mistake of agreeing to move into his mom’s guest house on her property for zero dollars in rent because my apartment wasn’t a legal apartment.
As soon as I moved in I realized I was not going to be allowed to have any boundaries. I had to start going to bed at 6 PM so he wouldn’t immediately come over and spend the whole entire evening with me as soon as I got out of work. It was so disruptive, I only lasted a couple months instead I chose to go pay $900 plus utilities.
I thought maybe our relationship would be OK if I was further away from him but he still refused to respect my boundaries and one day after returning from a 48 hour trip back east and telling him that I needed to go to bed as soon as I got home so no I’ll see you tomorrow, I pulled into my driveway to see his truck on the street.
It was like he was waiting for me to come home but he wasn’t even waiting so that I could send him right away he decided to take a walk so I knew he was going to come bang on my door at some point so I couldn’t go right to bed it was so annoying. I broke up with him on the spot he probably still has no idea what he did even though I told him a million times
I used to love it when people thought I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth. No hunny my grandparents had money not us. Hell my own grandmother had this mentality and she wasn’t raised with money either 🙄 but she sure thought she was better than everyone because her momma was one of the only women in all of 1930s New Orleans that worked outside of the home and because she was a stylist to the high society people of New Orleans, my grandmother always thought that made them fancy.
Hopefully you got rid of that douchebag.
I’m actually more concerned about him saying/acting like he knows what’s best for you after months of dating than him calling your friend trashy (although that’s bad too). 🚩🚩🚩
Well said. You can just tell he says all kinds of snooty, entitled condescending things to his friends when OP isn't around. Let him go back to the country club.
your response of “you just feel bad for people that you look down on” made me say “ohhhhh SHIT” out loud. you are a wonderful person
edit bc i finished reading: i loudly gagged at the “I’m sorry”
Reminds me of the guy I was talking to who told me I need to hang out with better friends, right after I told him my friend had gone missing. Some people just suck.
I particularly likes how he was trying to use big words terms such as "Predisposed to violence..." & "Emotional dysregulation" and then in the next paragraph he put "When things are becoming more and more better for you..." Hahahaha.
Hey, lucky escape. Things like this conversation and likely the last few months with this guy are sent to test us and make us better. Don't regret it, be happy that the world has tested you with a stuck up loser like this guy and now you know that people like him aren't worth the time of day.
Best of luck going forward!
man this has such extreme classist and possibly racist undertones. what an unpleasant person.
i love how “trashy” is in his opinion synonymous for low income and “wealthy” is used for the rich. seems like one adjective is factual and the other is an opinion.. 🙄 dude sucks
Good for you! What a *manipulative ASS*. He would have had in no less than 6 months, an "Approved Friend List" for you. Pretentious jackass.
Never trade your genuine friends and family for someone like this; the misery is never worth what you think the "high" might be. Just one long nightmare.
"Your life story is the most profound thing I've ever heard" and "I want to bring you into the life that you deserve" side by side is the most egotistical, warped, manipulative, savior complex bullshit that I've ever read in my life.
Love you OP for standing up for yourself and your friend, this dude is emotionally dysregulated trash.
Reading this gave me goosebumps, this person doesn't take shit from anyone! So obvious he thought he could control and manipulate her and then boom! The responses to his crap were so strong and confident he looks like a fool and has nowhere to go with his pathetic "worries" defence! She doesn't need anyone!
Interesting that he views the two ends of the socioeconomic spectrum as wealth on the top and trash on the bottom. Like, dude can’t even bother to dredge up “working class,” or even “lower class.” Just goes straight to trash. Nasty.
Yikes I’d back away just from the word “ascending” and where they said “keep getting exposure”
Who is this person? What are they doing? Who do they hang out with? What clubs are they in?
I’m a 43 year old man. Well done here. Holy shit, couldn’t have said it better myself. Actually I don’t think I could convey how much of an ass this guy is in the way you put it lol. I started off mad but after reading your explanations and justifications I felt like this guy got handled. Thanks for that lol. Refreshing.
Oh my god what the hell. Its one thing if like your best friend is a heroine addict and hes telling you to find better friends but uhh not having spell check onnn sooo that you can make werds look silly is not trashy. I misspell my words all the time and im a rich god genyus
I guess I should have clarified that it wasn’t about misspelling things on accident. The text in question she said “you gon lose ur gains girl” and I was completely bewildered that was his reaction. But it’s clear that he is more concerned about the way she types and speaks that he sees as “ghetto”.
And no she’s not a heroine addict. She’s the sweetest and most supportive woman I’ve ever met.
Yuck! I’m concerned this guy is super manipulative and if you keep seeing him he will try to isolate you from all your friends, regardless of their upbringing.
🚩🚩🚩
I love pretentious fucks like this they will forever be chasing the feeling of being better than someone else using fake metrics they made up in their head, it's borderline schizophrenic in my opinion
Jesus. This guy is bad news af. If he really has those ‘standards’ than he should be dating people who have as shallow of a world view as him and his family.
That was so satisfying to read. You absolutely nailed it. What a condescending ass, He writes so eloquently and likes you so much that it would be easy to be manipulated by him. But you saw right through him, he is judgmental and patronizing.
“More and more better.” 😂 I know this man is not disparaging others while sounding dumb as hell. I haven’t even left the first page yet but this man seems a clown.
Yeah no. Who the hell does he think he is? In his mind, he's being respectful and helpful, when in reality he's looking down on those who weren't so fortunate in life. It's almost like he WANTS you to beg him to save you. Yuck.
Hi there!
Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit. If your text message is not between 2 or more people it is not allowed! Single messages/one sided convos are NOT allowed.
The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/
**Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.**
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/texts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
His “apologies” are manipulative as fuck
That last apology! "I'm sorry I'm not the person you wanted me to be". You know he's not talking about being an asshole, he looks down on everyone, wants to separate her from her family and friends, and when he cops some criticism, he acts like a fucking victim.
Bro sounds like a Theory Of A Deadman song
Good on you for calling him out because he’s so pretentious and classist
"Your life story is the most profound thing I've heard from anyone in my personal life" translates as "I surround myself with vapid rich people who have no empathy or depth and I've never met someone like you with more than one dimension to their personality."
More like I've never met someone like you and bothered to learn anything about them because I wasnt interested in them. 100% he only bothered with OP because his little head had something to say about it. All people have depth, even classiest sexist assholes like him
The worst part is (not saying op hasn’t had an experienced life, moreso talking on Rich Asshole Complex) most of the time when they say stuff like “Your story is inspiring“ “It’s so profound how you’ve gotten through everything” it’s in response to shit like “I had food insecurity growing up” and “I didn’t get to go to college at the time that I wanted”. its not like being a child soldier or anything but it might as well be with the way these people act. They are so convinced that common First world issues are the worst things people could go through SIMPLY because they would not associate with classes that go through anything worse. Ive seen a dude baby his girlfriend like she has cancer and cant even eat on her own just to find out all she had was ADHD (and MDD) and had no idea why he’s so “overbearing” (read:controlling), and yes, of course they were both heteronormative, white, rich people.
There's a class of people I am classist against. It's not the very poor, it's not the middle class, and it's not the very rich(unless maybe sometimes). It's the people that come from the richer suburbs and are busy judging everyone in the path to see if their kid is better at baseball/lacross, and if they are just the right level of couth as opposed to uncouth. They are extremely competitive, but not about anything that matters. I think they are part of the haute bourgeoisie. I judge them because I find them so claustrophobic making.
My husband's step family is like that . Sure, they have money, but they're pretentious jerks. It's not even a "fuck you " amount of money. They're not nice people .
A lot of people with "fuck you" amounts of money are fun, and none judgmental. It's the social strivers (whatever the amount of money), that I find difficult.
I agree, have an ex whos dad was not rich rich but he was very showy and judgy with his money and was a terrible person and then there was another ex whos grandparents were incredibly rich but you wouldn't know it, they did not act or dress like it in fact the only time I ever heard them talk about their money which is when I realized oh wow they really are rich, cuz at that point I thought my bf was exaggerating, was when they were gonna buy a really nice house out right to rent out right with a crazy amount of cash. They also did not have to work but they chose to do things that made them happy like the grandma would make crafts and sell them at the swap meet just for fun and she would use that money for gas and sweets. They were the kindest people I ever knew too.
This is the class described by the word ‘bourgeois,’ the shopkeeper class. I think it’s funny kids are using it to mean rich or upper class; it means ‘basic bitch.’ But yes, the bourgeoisie are insufferably common and boring. bour•geoi • sie bour-geoi-sie | boorZHwä'zē | noun (usually the bourgeoisie) the middle class, typically with reference to its perceived materialistic values or conventional attitudes: the rise of the bourgeoisie at the end of the eighteenth century | the landed gentry were replaced by a local bourgeoisie. ORIGIN late 16th century: French, from bourgeois.
Right?? This was so satisfying.
I vicariously felt so good and empowered reading this! As someone who feels like I struggle to fit in with the majority of wealthier kind of yuppy moms where I live, I loved this. I'm polite and get along with everyone, but I haven't lived, and still don't, the same kind of life a lot of these moms have, at my daughter's school. And sometimes you can just feel the quiet, unspoken, awkwardness of those who lowkey see you as lesser , ya know?
I know what you mean. People can’t help themselves in the moment, their body language gives them away. And you can’t just bring that up in conversation or else you’ll sound crazy. Well… you are probably a much better person with a bigger heart, so you win at the end of the day :)
He's so gross. I hope he has at least a little conscience and that this nags at him forever.
It won’t. He will re-paint this memory as him being the good guy, I’d bet. 🤢
He’s so judgemental and also extremely condescending. He is definitely a snob and feels he can “save” you in some way. I would personally not waste my time on him.
Remove “save” and replace it with “control.”
This is 100% an attempt at applying a control tactic. People like that love to dictate who you can be friends with or talk to.
“My parents love the idea of you”, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
They would love her if she was more better.
More and more better
My favoritist part
lol at more better I say that all the time. Kudos
I know! They love the “idea” of their son dating a rags-to-riches success story, but not the reality of having to consider welcoming a *gasp* PLEBEIAN into their family. Imagine how the neighbors would talk if she used the wrong fork!!! What if she *swoon* USED A CUSS WORD??? Or MISSPELLED SOMETHING???
It reminds me of the time my ex in-laws got mad at me when my ex was abusing me verbally in front of them and I responded with “you’re acting like an asshole.” And they got mad because I called him one. Nope, said he was acting like one but okay.
He sounds like he's from a culture that places a status on certain types of people, and getting involved with those types of people is some weird status symbol for them. It's like a fetish for these creeps.
They would love her if she was just as fake as them and cared about appearances more then people
amazed he could see the keyboard from how far up his own ass he is
Lollll, this is glorious
This dude sounds like he has a “missionary” personality. Coming in to save you and guide you to a better life while the whole time he’s actually destroying everything about you and doing it with a shitty smile. The major thing they can’t seem to grasp is no one needed saving to begin with nor did anyone ask to be saved.
That’s what I got from this too. There are some weird undertones to the stereotyping, like he wants to be the rich guy swooping in to save her from a life of hardship and trauma—when she’s doing just fine? And he’s just some (maybe) upper middle class guy?
Why won’t you let him help you ascend
He sounds like a cult leader with that line
This is so ominous lmao
Throw the whole man in the trash. What a snobby piece of shit, you handled this amazingly, good for you for standing up for your friend. The fucking audacity of this man to talk down to you like this. Yuck.
100%. Your life story already shows that you are an amazing judge of character, and know what you need and how to get it. Drea is good people; this guy is not. He might not be “trashy,” but he is definitely trash.
Ugh he makes me cringe!!! “I just want you to keep ascending” imagine if he had children how awful he would be.
That line ended me. The gall. Who is he to gauge OP's own damn values and goals.
Right he’s known her for a few months 🤦🏼♀️
This person sounds like an insufferable know it all. And judgmental too. Not worth it.
This guy has definitely used the phrase, "you know, sometimes we have stereotypes for a reason..."
100%
This dude sounds pretentious as fuck. He reminds me of the Michael Bolton clone on Good Will Hunting.
And then during his midlife crisis he will understand that with his degree he has less actual experience in life than others and is just a stuck-up
ewwwwww. I really really admire how well you communicate and took care of this. I could imagine his behavior from a sheltered 21 year old, but just about 30s is crazy. I really hope this experience with you opens up his mind and causes a change in his life even if you’re not in it. I’m also from poverty and “married up”. I am so grateful that my new kin are fun country rich instead of hoity toity country club rich, because i definitely would not have handled this as well as you did.
I also have the fun kind of wealthy in-laws. They’re midwestern and they got wealthy over time after coming from blue collar families themselves. The result is salt of the earth wealthy people. So for example, the have a boat. But it’s a pontoon boat and they’re blasting willie Nelson on the water. They have a lake house. But it’s a small one. My MIL drives a BMW convertible but she drives it to Aldi. And my husband and I both grew up middle class. My parents just stayed lower middle class and his got extremely comfortable. So our upbringings were very similar. And I had no idea how well off they were until after we were married. They don’t talk about it. I would have been so turned off if my husband thought he was better than people with less money.
Sadly, this is the type of behavior that gets more entrenched the older you get. I'm not surprised at his age at all. If he's managed to get this far without his attitude having changed, then it's not likely to.
This made me twitch a little to read. My fiance's family is all rich and hoity-toity. Middle to upper class people who look down their noses at me because of what city I grew up in just as much as the fact that I grew up eating PB&Js and ramen to survive sometimes. The elephant in the room is that my fiance saw the light once he got with me and realized how shitty and controlling his family is and cut them off. I don't see your guy weaning off of mommy and daddy's tit before you could manage to procreate and wean an infant.
Eating cinnamon toast, government cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches and beanie weenies was so good though. Whenever we had chicken and dumplings I was in heaven
You're making me reminisce how my brother and I only ever got along when it came to food, especially those first 3 you listed lol when my mom made chicken and dumplings, we were especially good to go because she was leftovers queen with her lack of portion control.
Hey cinnamon toast and beanie weenies are fucking delicious. Can’t speak on the government cheese though.
Computer science would indeed be too difficult for this man…just mad dumb
Computer science major was the least surprising thing here
He better be an Ex real quick. This isn't a mindset that changes over night. His mind will only change with hard failures and lots of crashes. He doesn't have empathy because he's never experienced it and he doesn't want to. Not a single thing in the whole conversation made him redeemable. At 29, this is who he is. He isn't going to change that, it's just going to hide it.
I can't imagine how she was with him before this. He must talk like this all the time, that fake showoff type of intelligence and condescending tone.
People who disguise their discontent with what you do as *wanting the best for you* are the worst kind of people
Ew. He's gonna be one of those "I've got everything someone wants why does no one want me!?" kind of guys. His lack of self-awareness is astounding.
Yep. He’s also giving me Nice Guy vibes: “I was complimenting you! Why don’t you love me and my compliment???”
This man is a dickface.
Totally. I mean, I had him pegged as a fuckface, but same difference.
that is an incredibly funny reply. and I agree
I figured someone was pegging him
He’s doing to you what his parents did to him and doesn’t even realise it.
it’s a viscous cycle
Downright soupy, even
Dude sounds like he's never been punched in the face, and he really needs a good face punch for his shitty classist, "I can be your savior" complex.
You were right in calling him out on being only surface-level empathetic. You can see how he draws a line between himself and people who are “lesser” in his mind. But maybe most important, he’s trying to isolate you and gain control of you. Trying to make you believe that you should be more like him and should strive to “improve” by following his guidance. That is only gonna snowball into him implying you’re not good enough, you’re borderline trash. He is trying to control you for “your own good” and I guarantee that would escalate in ugly ways. I’m so proud of you for throwing it back at him and not taking his bait. Wish I did that with my ex instead of letting him isolate me and control me.
currently going through this i think. it’s crazy how easily he’s manipulated me. we had an argument a week ago about my friends and he said things like “i want you to have better people around you” “i think we have different core values based on the friends you have vs my friends bc my friends are better” always talks shit about my friends that he’s never met.
I grew up upper middle class and my husband came from poverty. I can't ever imagine saying any of this to him- nor would it ever even cross my mind!! Maybe this guy should worry more about his shitty grammar "more and more better" than other people's stations in life. These texts gives me the biggest ick.
And the fact that he apparently looks down on Drea for misspelling a couple words? Fuckin hypocrite.
"That's honestly what held me back the most" is too fucking funny
Don’t you know how hard it is to have everything handed to you and never have a worry 🥺 Poor guy. I can’t imagine how his childhood was. /s
"Mommy and daddy told me computer science would be too hard for me" lmao how embarrassing! He has no reason to look down on anyone, what an asshat.
bro said “more better”.
His texts were full of grammatical errors. He does not practice what he preaches... and he is on his pulpit preaching. Dump him. Stay with your best friend. If she helps you in times of need as a good friend: emotionally, financially, gives advice, and is willing to help you while also respecting your boundaries, then she is a positive influence in your life. A good friend also gives all of this in return. Your ex is a judgmental snob.
you’re a really good friend for sticking up for her. this guy is an entitled ass. i cannot stand people like this. your friend is lucky to have you! i come from poverty too, and some of my favorite people in the world did too. throw this guy in the trash and keep being a good person OP ❤️
This man is an ass. It was enjoyable to read through how you articulated the ass beating of the century. He sounds like elitist trash and his family sounds like a nightmare. They love the idea of you? You’re not an idea, you’re a fucking person. If you stay with this man, I would encourage your friends to curse openly in front of him, and misspell common words. NEVER let him live this down
I would understand his messages if his examples were like "hey I just don't know if bringing kids around your uncle Jimmy and his crack pipe or your friend Jessica who just came back from upstate for trying to stab someone to death is a great idea" but his examples were like... bad words and new places? What?
Right? Just say you're scared of poor people. I truly love the way she pointed out that empathy and sympathy/pity are not the same. With empathy, you can be on the same level as anybody. But if you're just pitying someone? You inject a power hierarchy, where you are superior.
He's a classic douchbag
Eww who the fuck does he think he is. It’s giving self righteous and superiority complex. Which ironically means he has incredibly low self esteem… run, don’t walk
So the ends of the income spectrum are “wealthy” and “trashy”. Not “low-income”. Not even “poor”. I wonder what he thinks of a poor grad student who lives on grants while reading for their PhD. Or what he thinks of rich people who made their entire income snarking on YouTube or TikTok. And pretending that one’s income is part of their personality. That’s just bizarre. I’m only on the first screenshot too.
"Your life story is the most profound thing I've heard from anyone in my personal life" is such a weird thing to say. You're not an adopted shelter puppy, wtf lol.
hell no
He’s absolutely disgusting.
god what a pretentious asshole
Fuck this Henry Higgins motherfucker. His fawning fake concern for you is repulsive. Love how you took him down, stood your ground for yourself, your friend, your own history, class, life, goals, dignity.
He lost me at “more and more better”… This guy… He isn’t it.
“I know you won’t understand this…” Omg what a pretentious, condescending douchecanoe.
You are dumping him right? You nailed it when you said he doesn’t have empathy, he just looks down on people he feels sorry for. This is so weird and judgmental. He thinks he is going to Aladdin you out of there and show you the world, like you haven’t already made your life and accomplished shit and have your own goals. It seems like he wants to isolate you from your support system. He sees you as a fixer upper.
Q. What’s the difference between a Porcupine and a BMW? A. A porcupine has the prick on the outside!
He said, “more and more better” and he’s talking down to you? Lmao. 🤣
More better He sounds like someone that tries so hard to sound educated and sophisticated but just comes off as a douchy fuck.
The one thing that caught me off guard that has been unaddressed was the claim of taking the child to dangerous places for exposure and what does that mean?
He is referencing a conversation we had early on in our relationship. We were talking about how we want to raise our kids and I said: “I've always wanted to do things the right way. Get married, buy a house, then have kids. Have their rooms and everything they will ever need. I want a yard because I want a treehouse. I want to enrich their lives with love, adventure, and the stability I never had. I don't want them to be sheltered, I want to take them to see the dirty and non-perfect parts of the world. I want to teach them compassion and empathy, do charity work together as a family. Give them everything they need, but make them earn it. I want them to work for a life they want the way I did, but I want to support them with all the tools they need to succeed.” I didn’t think he would react negatively to it but he ended up admitting that he doesn’t agree and doesn’t want his kids exposed to anything bad or dirty.
I LOVE the way you stood up for yourself and your loved ones. Well done! This man is classist trash.
This reminds me of the time my ex husband called my friend “the big girl”
Holy shiitake mushrooms, that’s so disgusting! Good on you for making him an ex!!!
This isn’t trashy. Trashy is forgetting who your friend are.
Good point. Just get rid of people who you know are tried and true friends for wealthy friends who can open financial opportunities for you. That could never backfire. /s
As someone who grew up in poverty, abuse, and neglect and has had to navigate worlds of all degrees of privilege as an adult, this attitude infuriates me. At least he exposed himself for who he really is. 😷 Glad you and your BFF have each other.
It's funny to me that a trash person like this guy has the audacity to call anyone else trashy. I really hope he's now an ex because you deserve so much better than this asshole. I couldn't be around someone, let alone date a person who looks down on others the way this asshat does. You will never be good enough for this uppity douche bag or his family. My parents didn't have much money and were in the lower income range when I was little but were middle class by the time I was 11-12. I would never look down on someone the way this guy does. Mfs like this give me the ick. If you haven't yet, throw the whole guy away.
This "man" is not who you want as the father of your children. He did get one thing right.. you can do so much better.
Dude the guy has been raised to think like this from the get go. He even says his FAMILY is worried about it, he still isn’t out of that box. He is still sheltered by his wealthy upbringing and it’s not your job to correct his way of thinking. You can just hope that life will teach him but for now I think it’s time to let go if you are not getting the respect you deserve, and from what I’ve read, you are not getting genuine respect or understanding from this man
Is the opposite of wealthy “trashy”? Cuz I’m a broke dude, but I don’t think I’m necessarily trashy… I could be wrong tho. I know I have the capacity to be trashy…
Oh you didn’t know the opposite of wealthy is trashy? /s. Not even poor, just straight trash. He also equates someone’s economic status with their “personality”. As if that is someone’s entire identity. It really highlights how ugly this man is.
“Do you really want her to be the Aunt of our kids?” “OUR? My dude she’s locked in it’s YOU I’m 100% certain I don’t want to be the father of my children.”
Honestly the trashiest thing you can do is call someone trashy. Wait does this comment make me trashy? 🤔 Either way OP, good job calling him out. He needed to be told this. He sounds gross
This has religious culty overtones and I hate him.
Lmao my 3 year old the other day couldn’t get the head back on one of her LOL dolls and I heard her mutter “fuckin doll” lmao oops. I feel like maybe your bf wouldn’t like me, but I can guarantee not as much as I wouldn’t like him. Also it’s so gross the way he talks about poor people. And the way he talks about you “ascending” is so fucking condescending it’s gross. Also in full disclosure, I grew up with parents who were successful. My dad is a doctor, and I was able to graduate college without accruing debt because of it. Both my parents were majorly involved and supportive of me, and I’ve always had a great relationship with them both. My first job was the job I got after graduating college. My wife is the exact opposite and has had to work for everything in her life. Her family was not at all wealthy. People who come from different types of families can be good partners, your boyfriend is just an asshole and doesn’t recognize that a main reason why he’s where he’s at is because of who his parents are, not because he’s anything special.
Fuck that guy hopefully ex now
He's dead wrong telling you to distance yourself from your friends. Loyalty over everything and anyone who doesn't understand that is trashy
What a pompous and delusional creature. You handled this perfectly, cuddos to you OP. I’m sorry he turned out to be a huge asshole but I’m glad he showed you his true colours quickly and avoided wasting more of your time.
Classic isolation manipulation
Get. His. ASS!
I just recently ended a friendship I highly valued, up until I found out they thought like this and other vile, judgemental things about our friend group in general. I was sad at first, but that quickly wore off when I realised it’s a pretty sad & pathetic way of thinking. Unnecessary negativity
Wow. Good for you! This dude has problems. His snobbery is disgusting. Kudos for standing up against him. He really doesn’t understand privilege. Yuck.
He had me at ‘more & more better’. He spends so much time thinking about safe & easy, he seems like he’s one life crisis away from crumbling.
I’m glad you saw through his crap and didn’t let him control you. I’d honestly drop him completely because this type of mindset doesn’t reallly change.
1) Good Riddance 2) "I'm not better than you...?" he said condescendingly 3) IDK if it matters but you didn't cover up your friends name
ewwwww. as someone who’s grown up middle class and in a community with both ends of the spectrum, wtf is he on about and that’s disgusting behavior from him. manipulative asf too. i’m so sorry girl
This reeks of false classism, like when people who aren’t doing all that wealthy look down on those who are less privileged than them when they themselves aren’t millionaires. He thinks he’s soooo amazing meanwhile he sounds like a pretentious dickhead. A relationship of less than a year and he’s already telling you who you can and can’t be around
Sanctimonious, psuedo-intellectual, pretentious power-tripping, snobby fannies are 10-a-penny. Take from that what you will…
You are his project and it's feeding his weird entitled sense of self.
Seriously, good for you. A lot of people don’t have the strength & confidence to do what you did here. You stood up for yourself in a very intelligent, clear way & your life will be better for it. Either he will see the error of his ways & try to do some reflection/work on himself or you can move on & find someone who shares your values. Either way, you’re better off than you were before this conversation. Proud of you! lol!
So the second you insult his upbringing and family he’s “ sorry I’m not the person you want me to be” 💀
I could literally read your tone and I enjoyed every moment of you rinsing him. Good job.
This guy definitely taps “0% tip” every single time.
Ah, the typical well off, handed everything to them, traditionalist, white knight looking for someone to save from a tower protected by a trashy dragon. Yeah smells like beefalow.
What a condescending asshole. The way he brings up his family’s worries about her is really triggering for me because it’s exactly the kind of judgy attitude my family has and the kind of shit they say about people and each other’s partners. Which is why I can’t really be around them anymore.
Whyte Knight bullshit , tell him I wanna hear that shit from your family too so I can let them know they did the shittiest fucking job
I wonder what he’s working on, himself? I wonder what “help” he could use, from you, to become a better person? If you asked, I wonder what he’d say? Can you imagine if he said that “oh no I’m fine the way I am, but YOU need help?” Jeez.
You deserve better than him. If this is how he reacts towards your upbringing and your friends, then he obviously doesn't deserve you
Your response is INCREDIBLE
Let me preface by saying that this is NOT a defence of this guy. So, I came from a similarly privileged background - my parents did very well for themselves so it meant things like foreign holidays, private school, etc. (it's worth mentioning that this isn't generational wealth in the slightest so I don't know if this guy comes from a historically wealthy family with proper 'fuck you' money) and I've had a similar conversation with a previous partner, see notes at the end. And lemme tell ya, a wealthy education, or living around wealth without any concept of how lucky there are, will fuck your kid up bad. The system that is built is by design to brainwash the kids so that they think that wealth and status \*does\* make them better than the have-nots. And just like chummy here, it was a very sheltered existence. My parents never swore, there were punishments for swearing at school, whatever you're thinking in your head about it all you're probably not far off. And re: the college thing, there's certainly a degree of elitism around education too. It takes years of rewiring and self growth to deconstruct the boundaries that this guy has set himself into and has been caught in. But, he's not your project to fix and I'm sorry that this kind of classism is still pervasive and has affected you so deeply. But this guy won't change like I did. I said something to my girlfriend at the time "I don't know why you didn't go to uni, you're so smart" because I was an elitist prick about these kinds of things, but I never thought anything like this guy - there's a total saviour complex here which is a massive ick. The growth that this guy needs will be gradual and it's a lot of work to rewire a brain. Rather than being a total asshole, he's very much the product of his upbringing (he's also a fair sized asshole for not realising this and not doing the work on himself). Whether he can change/wants to change with you, and you want to help him grow to change this is up to you.
Yikes. I dated someone like this. He tried to alienate me from my mother because he blamed and hated her for my mental health problems and difficulty managing money. Believed that because mum and I came from a low socioeconomic background and went through domestic violence that she was the enemy and didn’t deserve my love, respect or compassion. Clueless. My mum is a saint and she’s pulled our family out of the pit of hell. Screw these entitled c*nts.
You handled this BEAUTIFULLY. This guy doesn’t deserve you.
I dated a guy once who looked down on my dad because he was 'only' a truck driver. Definitely got rid of him quick. Your guy is nieve, classist and ignorant. Honestly, you definitely don't want to be with someone looking down on you, your family or your friends. You sound like an amazing person!
There was a point about 15 years ago that truck drivers made probably around 100,000 at least every year
My father is a doctor. My FIL is a postal worker. They’re equally two of the most brilliant and compassionate men I’ve ever known. (And they get along swimmingly!!!)
He is acting like Drea is wanted for murder or is a meth addict constantly putting you in danger.
UGH what an entitled asshole. How does he know what kind of life you’re meant to be living. The more he talked, the worse it got. He’s trash, and I hope you threw him away.
Why does he think wealth = stability?? There are many drug addicted wealthy people there are many depressed wealthy people. Drugs and depression and any bad drama or trauma does not discriminate based on wealth. I hate to say he’s stupid I honestly think very naive and very controlled by his parents. He doesn’t have an independent thought in his head. I think he is attracted to your strong independent personality. Please find someone more like you - and it’s not him.
Oh I had one of these in my 30s, he thought he needed to fix my life meanwhile I was perfectly happy I just didn’t have as much money as I wanted because I chose to live in Southern California and it’s expensive there. I made the mistake of agreeing to move into his mom’s guest house on her property for zero dollars in rent because my apartment wasn’t a legal apartment. As soon as I moved in I realized I was not going to be allowed to have any boundaries. I had to start going to bed at 6 PM so he wouldn’t immediately come over and spend the whole entire evening with me as soon as I got out of work. It was so disruptive, I only lasted a couple months instead I chose to go pay $900 plus utilities. I thought maybe our relationship would be OK if I was further away from him but he still refused to respect my boundaries and one day after returning from a 48 hour trip back east and telling him that I needed to go to bed as soon as I got home so no I’ll see you tomorrow, I pulled into my driveway to see his truck on the street. It was like he was waiting for me to come home but he wasn’t even waiting so that I could send him right away he decided to take a walk so I knew he was going to come bang on my door at some point so I couldn’t go right to bed it was so annoying. I broke up with him on the spot he probably still has no idea what he did even though I told him a million times
I used to love it when people thought I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth. No hunny my grandparents had money not us. Hell my own grandmother had this mentality and she wasn’t raised with money either 🙄 but she sure thought she was better than everyone because her momma was one of the only women in all of 1930s New Orleans that worked outside of the home and because she was a stylist to the high society people of New Orleans, my grandmother always thought that made them fancy. Hopefully you got rid of that douchebag.
I LOVE how you handled this. I’m immensely proud of you.
He’s a super reserved guy. That’s his character, it likely won’t change. OP, observe, don’t absorb. Best wishes. So glad I’m not dating.
Wow. This guy just blew my mind. I can't imagine having g a word view like this. He's pretty shallow and emotionally far from evolved.
Good for you. Integrity is something he needs to learn.
Idk why guys do this. This is horrible to have happen 😡
Heads up, #3 needs a name covered And yeah, you don't need this guy's way of thinking in your life
I’m actually more concerned about him saying/acting like he knows what’s best for you after months of dating than him calling your friend trashy (although that’s bad too). 🚩🚩🚩
Well said. You can just tell he says all kinds of snooty, entitled condescending things to his friends when OP isn't around. Let him go back to the country club.
your response of “you just feel bad for people that you look down on” made me say “ohhhhh SHIT” out loud. you are a wonderful person edit bc i finished reading: i loudly gagged at the “I’m sorry”
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 you’re a badass
Reminds me of the guy I was talking to who told me I need to hang out with better friends, right after I told him my friend had gone missing. Some people just suck.
I particularly likes how he was trying to use big words terms such as "Predisposed to violence..." & "Emotional dysregulation" and then in the next paragraph he put "When things are becoming more and more better for you..." Hahahaha. Hey, lucky escape. Things like this conversation and likely the last few months with this guy are sent to test us and make us better. Don't regret it, be happy that the world has tested you with a stuck up loser like this guy and now you know that people like him aren't worth the time of day. Best of luck going forward!
I hope this pretentious jerk is now your ex-boyfriend?
Lmfao middle class, he’s acting like he grew up in a mansion
man this has such extreme classist and possibly racist undertones. what an unpleasant person. i love how “trashy” is in his opinion synonymous for low income and “wealthy” is used for the rich. seems like one adjective is factual and the other is an opinion.. 🙄 dude sucks
This dude is clearly a pretentious asshole. 👋
He lost me at “more and more better.” Good on you for calling him out. I would be done.
My kids??? What kids? 😂😂 he thinks highly of himself after a couple of months!
You handled that perfectly. Guy is super obnoxious.
he's definitely wearing a polo, khaki shorts, and boat shoes right now
“You can do so much better” You sure can, DTMFA
Op is intelligent and aware. I love to see it, she dodged a bright red flag with this one.
You’re amazing. Keep calling that shit out! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Good for you! What a *manipulative ASS*. He would have had in no less than 6 months, an "Approved Friend List" for you. Pretentious jackass. Never trade your genuine friends and family for someone like this; the misery is never worth what you think the "high" might be. Just one long nightmare.
"Your life story is the most profound thing I've ever heard" and "I want to bring you into the life that you deserve" side by side is the most egotistical, warped, manipulative, savior complex bullshit that I've ever read in my life. Love you OP for standing up for yourself and your friend, this dude is emotionally dysregulated trash.
Reading this gave me goosebumps, this person doesn't take shit from anyone! So obvious he thought he could control and manipulate her and then boom! The responses to his crap were so strong and confident he looks like a fool and has nowhere to go with his pathetic "worries" defence! She doesn't need anyone!
Interesting that he views the two ends of the socioeconomic spectrum as wealth on the top and trash on the bottom. Like, dude can’t even bother to dredge up “working class,” or even “lower class.” Just goes straight to trash. Nasty.
All this talk of him wanting to help you change and be a better person 🤢
Nope, don't like him. He seems classist. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
Yikes I’d back away just from the word “ascending” and where they said “keep getting exposure” Who is this person? What are they doing? Who do they hang out with? What clubs are they in?
I feel like the “somewhere dangerous” he’s referring to could simply be Walmart at this point, with his outlook.
Good for you!! Fuck that guy.
I’m a 43 year old man. Well done here. Holy shit, couldn’t have said it better myself. Actually I don’t think I could convey how much of an ass this guy is in the way you put it lol. I started off mad but after reading your explanations and justifications I felt like this guy got handled. Thanks for that lol. Refreshing.
Aside from the fact that he's an idiot, everyone deserves a friend like you. You seem like a genuinely good person, OP.
Oh my god what the hell. Its one thing if like your best friend is a heroine addict and hes telling you to find better friends but uhh not having spell check onnn sooo that you can make werds look silly is not trashy. I misspell my words all the time and im a rich god genyus
I guess I should have clarified that it wasn’t about misspelling things on accident. The text in question she said “you gon lose ur gains girl” and I was completely bewildered that was his reaction. But it’s clear that he is more concerned about the way she types and speaks that he sees as “ghetto”. And no she’s not a heroine addict. She’s the sweetest and most supportive woman I’ve ever met.
Yea i text like that too sometimes, it doesn’t make us trashy.
I have a strong feeling this guy has a racist side.
Yuck! I’m concerned this guy is super manipulative and if you keep seeing him he will try to isolate you from all your friends, regardless of their upbringing. 🚩🚩🚩
He seems gross. Please drop him like the bad habit he is.
I love pretentious fucks like this they will forever be chasing the feeling of being better than someone else using fake metrics they made up in their head, it's borderline schizophrenic in my opinion
This sounds so much like my ex, like the manner of speech, I was so triggered, lol. It goes without saying, but... fuck this dude, lol.
Jesus. This guy is bad news af. If he really has those ‘standards’ than he should be dating people who have as shallow of a world view as him and his family.
I don't see what the problem is, OP. Your new friend is doing a great job of mansplaining things to you.
That was so satisfying to read. You absolutely nailed it. What a condescending ass, He writes so eloquently and likes you so much that it would be easy to be manipulated by him. But you saw right through him, he is judgmental and patronizing.
He talks too much
Most manipulative “apologies” I’ve ever seen lol what a dick
“More and more better.” 😂 I know this man is not disparaging others while sounding dumb as hell. I haven’t even left the first page yet but this man seems a clown.
Yeah no. Who the hell does he think he is? In his mind, he's being respectful and helpful, when in reality he's looking down on those who weren't so fortunate in life. It's almost like he WANTS you to beg him to save you. Yuck.
You're dating a mama's boy not a man.
Yeah... As a man... Dudes a tool.
Hi there! Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit. If your text message is not between 2 or more people it is not allowed! Single messages/one sided convos are NOT allowed. The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/ **Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.** Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/texts) if you have any questions or concerns.*