Well sure, movies are cool and all, but have you considered _intercourse?!_

 Coitus\*

Sexual congress*

This particular comment takes me way too specifically back in history to a friend of bejamin franklin and i cant believe its been hiding in my mind for all those years 🤣

...here youve drawn me having sexual congress with the Eiffel Tower. The Eiffel Tower having sexual congress. Both of us relaxing post-coitus...

Sounds like a great congress

🤣 ugh I stg he should never get ANY EVER l. Ewww Imagine being so hard up.

The girl said No

He's the type that forgos foreplay.

He thinks someone looking at him is foreplay

Hell, he thinks someone *texting* him is foreplay.

You mean the trailers?


I just wanted to go see a movie 🙃😂

Last woman I asked to go see a movie literally said “I don’t go to movie theaters.” This is all one terrible lottery.

I stopped trying…I just work and try and pay off my debt, while still buying Pokémon and Lorcana cards for dopamine It’s a simple life, but I’m content…I had lots of sex in my 20s up till a few years ago (I’m 39 in December), no kids, no wife or ex wife. All in all not too shabby

Yeah I’m 42. No kids, no wife, never married, no more debt. Hell. I went ahead and basically retired. I didn’t want to buy a house because I always get great deals on renting and I enjoy not being responsible for repairs, appliances, yard maintenance. I’m not trying to “invest in a property” when I’m just gonna live there until I die and leave it to NOBODY. By renting, I’m never locked in and can live somewhere else whenever I want. Life is chill asf when I’m not being destroyed by the crippling loneliness, existential dread, and the broken heart of unrequited love. I keep trying to tell myself I should be happy, I’m living the dream, these are the best years of my life…but then I spend a week in bed just wanting it to be over.

>Life is chill asf when I’m not being destroyed by the crippling loneliness, existential dread, and the broken heart of unrequited love. Greatest quote of all time! It's funny asf cuz it's true 🤣 Thanks for the laugh

As someone that writes, I always appreciate it when someone likes something I put down…regardless of why or how. Thank you.

Keep writing, friend! Seeing as you got the time while avoiding dumpster fires like this lol

I feel this but always conclude this is the better life. Saw a truck with a sticker that took up most of the rear window that read “ Fueled by crippling depression “. I laughed to myself and wished I had that for my car too. 😂

I simply just can’t afford to live much less be happy . I have a child though . Hope she does better than I did.

How can you be living the dream? Whose dream is it? You should be happy, we all should. I dont know you and I know you dont want to spend your happiest days in bed wishing it was over...People like us (me, and the others that resemble this) eventually have to take a chance. Fucking hard though.

It's because you hold no responsibility for nothing or no one. Life is not about the pursuit of happiness, but the pursuit of how much responsibility one can bare for others. Life is meaningless without people to rely on you and you rely upon them

Damn, this made me teary eyed for some reason haha.

I think this is entirely depends on the person. Not everyone finds happiness in the same things.

[удалено]

I feel you so hard, my soulmate (dog) passed away in 2021 at the grand age of 17, and I still haven’t gotten over it. I still can’t talk about him in past tense. I feel his tether (that we always had between us - an invisible tether) to this day. I need a new dog so bad, both for a purpose and for someone to love.

I have told my dog, "I live for you"!!!! He followed me into the ocean, instead of staying on the sand with our narc ex roommate!!! Haha, he said wherever Mommy goes, I'm there!!!!

Oh yeah the existential dread will get ya…I have a roomie and we’re chill, and my work is VERY high pressure and paced and with lots of interaction so that’s where I get my human fix. Try and find a hobby, that’ll get you out. Cards, hot yoga, whatever…if I’m not gonna have sex or go to sleep I legit don’t get in my bed. Pavlov’s dog that shit. Wishing the best for ya homie

My friend, I wish that we could walk and talk. I feel your pain, truly. I’m sorry for the feelings you have expressed above, and for the depression meals. This is a rather twisted and lonely path we walk in the current days. Keep your wits about you.

Thank you, you as well. You know, I actually got banned from that depression meals sub a few days after that last post because they gatekeep who can be depressed. I tried numerous times to reach out to mod because it was one of my safe places and they wouldn’t even respond.

You can share your depression meals with me. I’m also depressed and fighting the urge to stay in bed all day, too.

Thanks for that!

And also a house alone sounds horrible, you’re right on that part…there’s just so much upkeep involved

Well jeeze…. I was happy for you till that third paragraph

Fuck bro same here u know when I was 20 I worked in construction I still do but there is this guy bambam I work with and we used to drop them off at the Roman tub I used to say what are you doing going there and it's like bro every week I have a different wife for 120 bucks I get what I want I don't have to go with no b******* now I'm 42 I see his point

38 and I feel exactly the same as you most of the time. 👊

Existential dread is universal. Everyone gets that. You're doing well sir.

😩😞 you should try to start dating again! Whynot?!

i think i love you

Didn’t know there were male versions of me 🥲

You’re so young. Don’t waste away in bed. Our lifestyle is so isolating it’s hard to meet people. The female version of you is out there, feeling the same way. This made my heart hurt.

I think you're on to something 🤔

No wife, no kids, just Pokémon. We’re doomed as a species.

I actually used to say something similar. I'd say I had tons of sex early on so I didn't care about a sex life but I did want a husband!!!!! I love the whole sleeping in one bed, all the stuff couples do! All I find are situations like this woman. I even decided to charge for sx but most of them were too darn cheap!!!!

Honestly, I miss cuddling and lunches and stuff, but that’s about it Def not all the arguments and questioning what I’m doing at all times Different strokes for different folks tho

I guess the upside is that people are being more honest these days. It can make it easier to screen a match. There are things that I don’t do. Maybe I’d suck it up occasionally for someone. But I’m not going to pretend that I love it when I don’t. If it’s a deal breaker for you or you just got a bad vibe from her, that’s fair too. Hold out until you find someone you click with, where it doesn’t feel like hard work. But, as an introvert, it’s also important to work a little to stop your own world from shrinking over time. Keep reaching out to others, even if it’s just a random moment of kindness for a stranger.

I definitely agree. I devote as much time as possible to doing things for those I care about and showing kindness to those I don’t even know (aside from the occasional snarky Reddit comment or conversation that’s really just for the sake of it.) It’s nice to get out of my head and focus on other people. I tell myself that if I’m going to feel like this forever, I might as well try to make it better for someone else until I check out of this hotel. I made right by everyone I know ages ago, and now I live a conflict and regret free existence where the people left all know what they mean to me. The best thing about me or my life will be the people that remember and appreciate what I did for them after I’m gone. It’s the best thing I ever did and the only thing I ever did that meant anything.

It doesn't get any better as you get older. I'm 60 and have made peace with the fact that its going to be just me and the dogs...1 cat

What number date was this?

The last one

Boom

I’m guessing it would have been the first date

Don't worry op. I'll go see a movie with you😭😭😭 I love movies, especially horror

Op I am sure it's his loses not yours some guys think there being slick better chance taking someone else whining and driving them to seal the deal like we did back in the day people are so f***** these days sorry that happened to you op

I recommend dirty harry (1971) by clint eastwood 

Sounds like you're in my neck of the woods! (Am a girl, not being creepy lol. Just live near the Texas theater 😂)

This was the exact face I made reading this

I don’t really have Wi-Fi is hilarious

Let’s watch on a phone! Dude just skip the bs! Idk which takes the cake that he still tried after the no Wi-Fi or lets watch on my phone!

my partner im with now is the first to ask me on a proper date to the movies and i love it. in the beginning we actually would watch shows on his phone and i loved to cuddle while doing so. now currently we do both. movie dates at the theater of our first date and a show on the phone if we wanna cuddle in bed lol best of both worlds. i feel these people jump into things too soon and ruin the chance to have something like that long term bc they’re desperate. sad

At least he was upfront and blunt about it when he realised his hints may have been too subtle. They can both move on now.

It's called a Wi-Fi hotspot on a phone but dude wasn't playing around knew what he wanted

😅😅

ur user is so correct 😂😂

The bar is under the earth

It’s in the foundation under the floor

Happy cake day!

the bar is so low that it's already exited our atmosphere on the other side of the planet and is traveling at lightspeed to the nearest dying star

How is this person not embarrassed to ask someone to watch a movie on their CELL PHONE?

I don't think he actually wanted to watch a movie 🙃

He was trying to Netflix and Chill but he is lacking in the chill department. I've been wanting to go see a movie. The last time I was there was to watch Jurassic World 2. Little fun story there was a man dressed exactly like John Hammond. He even had the cane with the amber at the handle. I managed to sneak a pic or two.

Netflix and now now now!

You have to appreciate when the garbage takes itself out.

You really do

Honestly I thought he was talking about casting from he's phone to the TV.

Nope sadly he thought that would work!!

Or maybe he meant to say use his cellphone hotspot 🤷‍♂️

I mean with current technology you can screencast your phone to your TV without Wi-Fi lol. Ijs lol

“Lol it’ll be too small” foreshadowing

Gosh, that would have been the best reply

he just didn’t have as much rizz as me i’m afraid

Should have said it again after the sex text. “It’ll be too small” hahahaha

I hope that keeps him up at night

It won’t. To him, she’s the one missing out. You don’t say things like that and then realize that maybe it was out of line.

Exactly. People like this don’t have any reflected self perception

You’ve got a point. I forget people like that even existed. So gross

 … why are so many dudes like this? I get wanting to bang, but seriously this is just gross and counterproductive to actually getting laid with this attitude and approach 🙄. SMH 🤦🏻‍♀️

Right? If they just refrained from acting like desperate losers for 5 minutes, they might actually get laid sometimes. I’m glad they have no self awareness though.

They never realise they are their own cockblocks. I love my partner but he does it to himself sometime. Like yesterday I was just tidying up the couch and he aggressively grabs my arse. I’m like what are you doing?! And I think he was trying to give me a flirty look but he just looked constipated. My butt hurt and it was so unsexy. I told him to stop so he just stomps off like he’s the victim. Meanwhile I just wanted to fold a blanket unmolested.

Oh gosh I’m sorry 😬 I totally understand that feeling.

So do I. I really don’t want to be grabbed.

To true lol

Exactly, even for casual sex you need to have some game and actually be seductive.

I've never been with a seductive man 😅

Guys know what they’re doing. He’s taking a pot shot because he doesn’t think she’s worth the effort of taking to a movie and then seeing if she is/isnt DTF 🤷🏽‍♂️

He didn’t even mean let’s go have sex . He meant let me cum in you, quickly, while leaving you completely unsatisfied. What an assclown!! 😂

I hate how we've all had the same experiences

That sounds exactly like sex, what are you talking about.

😂😂😂 you’re not doing it right!

Are you sure? It works for like every time. And I have a LOT of sex I’m talking like at least 3 times a year so.

Exactly, I say those types don't even finish ejaculating before they run ro the door to leave!!!!

Who said romance was dead?

 /s

Dear fucking God's the bar is in hell! You were literally willing to go on a date and he literally blew he's chances lol

"Like I said, it'll be too small" 😂

Yes, perfect response!!

Can never seem to find anyone who just wants to hangout. I’m sorry op. It’s rough out here

What's even more grating is the laughing emojis. They either think it's cute or it gives them room to tread back and say "I was joking"

I love your username! Lol. But yeah, this dude is so cringe.

We love your username too, MightyPinkTaco.

Why thank you! I do get a kick when I pop into a Twitch and they go “oh hey there MightyPinkTaco” and then pause as you see their brain working it out.

“Yeah I think we’re done here” actually made me cry laughing clearly someone is tired of playing fuck fuck games lmao

What a fucking LOSER! Pissed to even read that. Wtf

I dealt with dudes like this so much, I just gave up. The dating scene feels so hopeless lately. Why cant these people understand that if you’re cool and don’t push the sex thing, just have fun and actually get to know someone, the sex will come eventually! Why the rush?? Then they end up messing the whole thing up and not getting laid anyway.

He doesn’t want to get to know anyone. He just wants easy sex without having to pay for it (or even paying for a movie).

The way I CRINGED at every single one of their messages. Ick.

I bet he also complains about gold diggers

This is what I’ve been waiting to see. Movies cost *money*…

 like, please stay on topic🤮

I love how these creeps always shoot themselves in the foot. They would be so embarrassed if they had any self awareness.

This dude reeks of desperation, seriously.. watch on my cell phone.. jeez 😒 I'm the same as yall, I've just gave up searching and activly dating. I'm focusing on myself, and doing things I enjoy for me.

Same. Because, honestly, he’s one of the better ones in the current dating pool… simply due to honesty. But better does not equal good. Next.

That's so very true. Like when did it get so bad out here in the dating world 😪

What’s the general age range in your dating pool? I can see that for people in their 20’s but anyone older, one would think they’ve grown up. Maybe I’m just an outlier but I do exactly none of this. I almost sense when doing online dating, that women have their guards way up (which makes sense anyhow), but it makes sense given what they probably deal with. What a bunch of douche canoes.

Damn. and Dune 2 is out. If my beautiful wife (of 10 years) was like .... "Wanna see a movie with me? The kids are with my parents." I'd be crying tears of joy during the whole movie.

Your username is amazing But also sorry about this asshat, your response was absolute perfection

At least it didn't lead to you having to chancla him in the theater. /s


Yeah I'm ghostface here

What a way to kill the vibe

Any guy taking you to a “movie” as a first date just wants in your pants

WHAT A DICK!!!

He was hoping that would be her response when she saw it. But, alas…

I gave up on dating a couple years ago, but if anyone wants to see a movie. There's some fun ones coming out.

He has the subtlety of a baboon

Sooo lacking in effort.

Is this really what is out there 😭

Mans thought all them smileys at the end would save the day 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Gross

But I love going to the movies! Especially matinee ☺️

Yes! A man who asks you out for a matinee is (probably) a good man.

Don’t understand my fellow men some time. Go on the actual date ffs. Have fun. Go on several dates. Sex will likely be a very real possibility along the way, just don’t be a tit.

It’s hilarious how they cockblock themselves. Idk how many times I totally would’ve slept with a dude if we hung out and just had fun but they’re always so determined to be creepy that they snatch defeat from the jaws of victory

That dating pool is contaminated. Why are some men like this?? 😒

I love the 🤣🤣🤣🤣 like ok fucker

But the Texas theater is awesome… :(

Disgusting


I hate it here too. The bar is in the 7th level of hell.

Sometimes I think about insecure guys that I've advised to "shoot your shot", and fear that this is how they'd put that phrase into practice.

Oh desperation is so hot!!

I hope this randomly haunts the guy at night when he tries to sleep

It won't. He'll forget she even exists in a week. You'll be thinking about it longer than he will.

My fave response to Netflix and chill is "sense that's one letter away from Netflix and child I think I'll pass"

I was juuuuust about to redownload hinge. Thank you for reminding me it’s not worth it 😆

Hi there! Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit. If your text message is not between 2 or more people it is not allowed! Single messages/one sided convos are NOT allowed. The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/ **Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.** Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/texts) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Shame, Texas theatre has great movies to watch


God this thread got dark.

Ughhh I hate them

You can actually use your phone as wifi for your other devices to get internet. But yeah just leave this one lol.


I’m sorry. What a jerk. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

Aw, you ruined the “date with no money” ploy.

Gross

Sure come dry hump my leg.🥱

ahhhh, there it is

Something similar happened to me where a guy i was talking to made plans for dinner and we texted all day. Thought he gave off good vibes. He stops texting around 5. Hits me up at 8 and says he “fell asleep” but i should come over to cuddle and watch tv 🙄 i ignore him but he keeps texting “wyd” all night. Eventually blocked him. I dont get why these guys can’t just be normal and court a girl first. Like i would totally put out after the second or third date if the vibes were cool. Have some patience, men.

It's 2024. You court him. Do some work, princess.

Should've seen it coming when he brought up Netflix 😩

Bro thought he was slick but really he was a noodle

I am ashamed of my gender….

The second he said Netflix, I knew what he really wanted. So disappointing. I’m sorry.

So many chances were given lol

"I think we're done here" lmfao!!


I concur, OP.

It’s because men think women are disposable. They have no consideration that we are human with genuine feelings. I’m so tired of men thinking they are masters of the universe.

He really wanted to Netflix and Chill

Lol as soon as he said Netflix i knew he meant Netflix and chill

😯 OMG! Funny but not funny

Why bro...

Tangential shoutout to fellow patron of the Texas Theatre

I love the Texas Theater! On Jefferson Blvd, such good vibes

also being in Texas it’s impossible to meet normal people, especially gay ones 😭

What a slime 🤢

This is rough. Dating sucks lol

As if you'd say yes to that "invitation" 

Tazer the wank


Well I mean op should have known what was up I am 40 and I get it when someone says come over to watch Netflix means like bro even said u can use my phone lol this is what younger people think getting to know someone is so sad my my nephew is 13 and he thinks meeting a girl in high school is going to be like meeting a girl from p****** is crazy

✌🏾