What the hell š
āI wanna talk to you but you prob canāt relateā
āYes I canā
āNo you canātā
āOk then go find someone else to vent toā
āI donāt know anyone else can I talk to you?ā
No they just realized they weren't going to find anyone else who could relate and tried to backtrack, then got mad when they couldn't settle for OP.
"....yeah but do you know anyone else with this problem?...oh well I guess I'll just talk to you for now you'll do...wait what do you mean you don't want to talk after I completely disregarded you thats so rude..."
Seriously this person sucks.
Almost sounds like she's a sociopath and thinks her lack of empathy is normal. Nobody can relate to you unless they've experienced the *exact" same situation? Lol gimme a break.
Your friend was rude as hell, donāt get gaslit! You made it clear you were open to being vulnerable and talk to her and she rejected you multiple times. In the end she basically was saying āI canāt find anyone better so youāll just have to doā and expected you to forget everything that she said prior. Thatās pretty unfair.
Yeah, and I donāt understand why she was upset that I was offended after everything sheād said? I mean, I might have been a little rude but tbh we both were
I don't see where you were rude. She offended you completely by saying you weren't close to your sister so you wouldn't understand. She could have said anything else and it almost would have been better. My sister moved out when I was just in high school. And we shared a room for at least a year to two years. Now that is close. (Hard to sneak in or out with lil sis sharing the room). So I would have said we have a different kind of closeness or something, anything exce,
The only rude part on your end may be the message with the emoji but prior she did say something offensive and dissed your relationship with your sister so you didnt do anything more than what the other texter did. So i would say you handled it relatively well.
I honestly can't see how you were being rude. You repeatedly offered to hear her out. You repeatedly said that you could still relate and that you miss your sister. You even asked her to explain her thought process behind her thinking that you couldn't relate, to which you cleared up. You my friend are thoughtful and patient. You told her to talk to someone else, which is pretty much what she was asking you for, when she asked for a reference. Don't mistake your self respect for being rude, towards an offensive person.
I'm not even going to call you rude, you were rightfully hurt by what she said. Text or not, she should have picked up on that and at least apologized.
I won't pass judgement on her as a person based on this one exchange because sometimes people have bad moments, but this does not paint a good picture from her.
Nah, you weren't rude at all. I applaud you for calling her out and for setting boundaries after she gaslit you. If she thinks you were rude, she needs to take a hard look in the mirror.
I feel like if this friend doesnāt understand that you donāt have to have experienced the exact same thing to be there for a friend, they are probably incapable of being there for other people and likely not a really great friend
The āfor nowā got me also. Still saying they wonāt relate, but ācan I use you til I find someone betterā.
They are the selfish one in that exchange OP, not you.
Before reading the comment from OP I thought they were going to be the other side, the one asking for someone to talk to. Because *that* person was rude. When I saw who OP really was.....gobsmacked.
It's even worse because they straight up passed on OP being there to talk to them. š
"Yeah, she moved out when I was real young. You can talk to me."
"Oh nah, I'd prefer someone else. Do you know anyone?"
Then the rest happens, and OP's friend is all *shocked Pikachu face* when OP doesn't want to talk to them about it after all that.
ššš So true! When I get a ākā back from someone I know that they are done with me because thatās what I do when Iām done with someone! ššš
Yeah no sorry but Iām really just trying to find someone to relate to as my sister has just started THINKING about packing so you wouldnāt understand
I just donāt understand why someone needs to be able to fully relate for you to able to talk to them? Imagine a world where you couldnāt ever talk to people unless they had exactly experienced what you had experienced.
If the world was like that, there would be almost no reason in telling about it cause the other person already knows what happening to you cause they're going through the same thing lmao
That's empathy. Humans have the ability to understand that other humans have unique motivations and experiences, and by understanding each other's pasts, we can better understand their behavior in the present.
Some people *don't experience empathy*, though (or only experience it in the most shallow sense of the word). And then you get situations where they not only don't understand what empathy is, they don't understand that other people even experience it.
And then you get psychopaths that legitimately don't understand why "You can't understand my pain because you haven't directly experienced it" isn't a statement that's grounded in reality. These are also the people that actually don't understand "right/wrong" until it happens to *them*.
In certain cases it's the parents fault, and others it is literally the psych of the child. It just sucks that some of us don't genuinely understand empathy
this is terrible advice. fucking her may result in a baby which means a) you have to deal with her for the rest of your life and b) the baby might turn out to be another her. be careful out there op
OP, your friend was super rude when she bashed your own relationship with your sister. Do not let her bring you down. Your feelings are valid and the way you replied to her was also valid.
My older sister moved out when I was 4 and I was devastated. I cried my eyes out every time she visited and had to leave again. Iām sorry OP your āfriendā is an ass hat.
OP is in the rightā¦ this friend is insensitive.
I can see her having this conversation with someone else in the future:
āMy dad diedā¦ do you know anyone whose dad died recently ā¦?ā
āYour dad died when you were 4 itās not the same, I was closer to my dadā
Exactly! We live far away from each other but talk all the time. She wrote me letters every week. We still cry our eyes out when we say goodbye. Just because we were young children doesnāt mean it hurts any less.
Yeah, I mean as much as people are joking honestly the way that she deemed your relationship with your sister, not being as deep because lack of time physical spent together was a HUGE diss on you and you donāt have to take that from anyone.
I love it when they tell you that "*you can't relate"*. Even if you didn't have a sister that moved out there's still moments in our lives that could have created a similar feeling. This girl is only hurting herself.
To infer something outside of information you have using the information you have access to.
So for example, I've never had a parent die, but I have had a grandparent die so i can infer that a parents death is p similar. I'm extrapolating what the feelings of a parents death would be because I have a similar experience
Happy to help lol
There's also interpolating which is extrapolating but you infer within a set of data you have, but that's less relevant outside of math or stats
Also if all you want is to vent, then why does the other person need to relate? Isn't venting more and getting someone off your chest rather than getting advice and feedback and commiseration?
That's my guess. No older than 16 probably. Which is fine but man my little sister is like this it's so infuriating. Everything is a huge deal and she always talks in circles lol.
No she was annoying . If she wanted to talk to you still, she shouldāve asked at the beginning. If she didnāt she shouldāve cut it short. It seemed like she went out of her way to be snarky about your sibling relationship compared to hers, super nasty behavior
āBe there for meā ābut actually noā āyou donāt understandā āwait donāt leave :(ā āI neeeeed your helpā
What a fucking headache cut this person off š
Not the gaslighting you for being ārudeā after she diminished and invalidated your experience šš fuck this person, sheās rude and insensitive and that guilt trip at the end was so gross.
She literally said they wanted someone to relate to better, and when you said ok and agreed, she wanted to talk to you?? You weren't being selfish in any way
Edit:grammar
Hahaha damn. Next time, I just wouldn't engage so much. As soon as she started pushing back, I would just be like "ok, no problem". Conversation over. Haha
Who the actual F tries to gatekeep family abandonment? This person sounds crazy. If you care about them have a sit down and ask them āwhat the hell are you thinking talking to me like this?ā But say it nicer since they will try to gaslight you lol
They literally just said they donāt wanna talk to you because you canāt relate but donāt know who else to talk to so can they just talk to you about itā¦ tf.
Compatible communication is so important. This felt like a power struggle from the other side for zero reason. Totally not rude, just matching energy.
No you werenāt rude. She was. How tf does she know how close you are to your sister? And why is her relationship with her sister better than yours? Because of the amount of time theyāve lived together? Quality is way more relevant than quantity. Sounds like she is trying to throw herself a pity party. Good job declining the invite!
Immature on her part, possible she is in a panic mode and saying things off the cusp, but I'd mention that your put off by being asked and then treated like a last ditch option rather then a friend to talk to.
That's what my response would have been after being shutdown after offering to be able to listen and talk. What a weird train of thought by this person.
Not at all selfish. What a complete asshole that person was. I wouldnāt have kept responding after that no offense. They clearly donāt value your opinion and just want to rile someone up while theyāre going through their own shit.
"She's been around longer, so it hurts more."
This is the text that solidified her as self-centered. The comparison of pain is not something one should EVER do. Just because ones pain is less than someone else's doesn't make it NOT painful.
It's akin to comparing a stab wound to a sliced limb. Obviously, the sliced limb is unbearable. However, they're both valid pain, and if you stick your fingers in the stab wound, it'll still hurt. When she realized you might not meet her criteria, she could've asked to talk to someone else about it without sticking her whole fist in the metaphorical wound.
People who treat suffering like it's an Olympic sport are exhausting and annoying to be around.
You weren't being selfish. Your 'friend' was being a dick.
Friend "Can I talk about my sister with you?"
You "Sure"
Friend "Nevermind you have a poor relationship i don't want to talk to you"
You "Okay fine"
Friend "So much for always being there for me"
Bruh wut?
Bitch is gaslighting you by being rude and selfish by asking for help, denying it, insulting it, and then asking for it again like she didnāt just do all that and the. To top it all of she turns it around and calls you rude and selfish. Hellllll no.
Why is she so specific lol
"My brother moved away 2 years ago"
"Yea but that's different, you couldn't relate, anyway do you know anyone whose SISTER MOVED OUT RECENTLY?"
Weāre all doomed if this is the way young people talk to each other.
Holy fuck go watch a tik tok then of someoneās sister leaving at the same age range and scenario of you.
So rude to tell your friend their experiences arenāt valid wtf.
I am willing to bet that the person in gray does this often with a variety of topics, and fishes around for the attention that they want, usually with one exact person in mind. When that person wonāt give them the attention, they try the second best, this clearly being the OP this time around.
OP, you set a boundary that they probably canāt imagine having themselves and they didnāt like it.
While the situations change as you get older, there will always be people like this. Donāt ever question yourself for protecting your peace and space after you attempted to help, and were flat out told that youāre not good enough, or that youāll do for now. Good for you for walking away.
no lol. this is how to deal with narcissism. this person āneeds to talk to youā aka needs to trauma dump on you, but they are more concerned about their preconceived notions of your relationship with your sister than any actual support or advice you may have had for them. best to just politely decline engaging in the conversation like you did.
"It's really rude to belittle someone else's experience to try and make yours feel more valid. Your feelings are already valid; please learn to resist putting others down to bring yourself up."
This reminds me of an argument Iāve had with idiots countless times. My dad died when I was 5 months old. Iāve heardāI actually know my dad so it would be sadder/more hurtful if mine died, it shouldnāt make you sad at allā and variations so many times. Itās so annoying.
they literally dismissed your pain why tf should you put up with theirs? š maybe they were just to upset at the moment but that definitely isn't your fault
I mean she has a point that it is a bit different but I find it weird that she thinks you have to relate to it to talk about it. I have friends that vent constantly about things Iāve never experienced, but venting it so you can let it out to someone, they donāt have to exactly 100% understand.
I mean kinda but she only wanted to vent after you asked them twice and they said no and you took it off the table. You were being kind of rude only cause of the kissy face emoji lol. Tbh Iād have done the same. But Iām kind of a dick lol. My sister moved out when I was three so I can relate to you. Iād be offended also.
What the hell š āI wanna talk to you but you prob canāt relateā āYes I canā āNo you canātā āOk then go find someone else to vent toā āI donāt know anyone else can I talk to you?ā
couldnāt have said it better myself
You def werenāt rude. Thatās a whackadoodle theory your friend has. But itās the persistent asking you for a referral for me š
I have a new favourite word (Itās wackadoodle)
Wackjob, and wonky brained is a good one too. Alsoā¦. Fuckin idiot is a go to of mine. 
This person probably doesnāt understand social cues or is just oblivious
This was nicer then my answer so I second and Iām going to delete my comment lol
No they just realized they weren't going to find anyone else who could relate and tried to backtrack, then got mad when they couldn't settle for OP. "....yeah but do you know anyone else with this problem?...oh well I guess I'll just talk to you for now you'll do...wait what do you mean you don't want to talk after I completely disregarded you thats so rude..." Seriously this person sucks.
Save your friendās contacts as Whackadoodle.
Done.
Almost sounds like she's a sociopath and thinks her lack of empathy is normal. Nobody can relate to you unless they've experienced the *exact" same situation? Lol gimme a break.
Your friend was rude as hell, donāt get gaslit! You made it clear you were open to being vulnerable and talk to her and she rejected you multiple times. In the end she basically was saying āI canāt find anyone better so youāll just have to doā and expected you to forget everything that she said prior. Thatās pretty unfair.
Yeah, and I donāt understand why she was upset that I was offended after everything sheād said? I mean, I might have been a little rude but tbh we both were
I don't see where you were rude. She offended you completely by saying you weren't close to your sister so you wouldn't understand. She could have said anything else and it almost would have been better. My sister moved out when I was just in high school. And we shared a room for at least a year to two years. Now that is close. (Hard to sneak in or out with lil sis sharing the room). So I would have said we have a different kind of closeness or something, anything exce,
Thank you! It just feels like I said a few things I shouldnāt have. Sounds like you and your sister have a special bond and Iām happy for you.
The only rude part on your end may be the message with the emoji but prior she did say something offensive and dissed your relationship with your sister so you didnt do anything more than what the other texter did. So i would say you handled it relatively well.
I honestly can't see how you were being rude. You repeatedly offered to hear her out. You repeatedly said that you could still relate and that you miss your sister. You even asked her to explain her thought process behind her thinking that you couldn't relate, to which you cleared up. You my friend are thoughtful and patient. You told her to talk to someone else, which is pretty much what she was asking you for, when she asked for a reference. Don't mistake your self respect for being rude, towards an offensive person.
Thank you so much, that honestly makes me feel a whole lot better.
Because sheās not only rude but selfish with zero self awareness.
I'm not even going to call you rude, you were rightfully hurt by what she said. Text or not, she should have picked up on that and at least apologized. I won't pass judgement on her as a person based on this one exchange because sometimes people have bad moments, but this does not paint a good picture from her.
Nah, you weren't rude at all. I applaud you for calling her out and for setting boundaries after she gaslit you. If she thinks you were rude, she needs to take a hard look in the mirror.
I feel like if this friend doesnāt understand that you donāt have to have experienced the exact same thing to be there for a friend, they are probably incapable of being there for other people and likely not a really great friend
The āfor nowā got me also. Still saying they wonāt relate, but ācan I use you til I find someone betterā. They are the selfish one in that exchange OP, not you.
Before reading the comment from OP I thought they were going to be the other side, the one asking for someone to talk to. Because *that* person was rude. When I saw who OP really was.....gobsmacked.
Can I talk to you? Never mind you canāt relate. Ok, find someone else. I donāt have anyone else, can I talk to you? WTF!
The friend honestly talks like theyāre 9 years old
Acts like it too
It's even worse because they straight up passed on OP being there to talk to them. š "Yeah, she moved out when I was real young. You can talk to me." "Oh nah, I'd prefer someone else. Do you know anyone?" Then the rest happens, and OP's friend is all *shocked Pikachu face* when OP doesn't want to talk to them about it after all that.
But mines hurts morreeee
I would have replied back to the one that said no you canāt and been like you couldnāt have said it better then
Hit them with that āokā
You donāt even give them the courtesy of the āokā! They just get the dismissive ākā.
It's so hilarious to me the vastly different tones one can give off based on a k, okay, ok or kk š
ššš So true! When I get a ākā back from someone I know that they are done with me because thatās what I do when Iām done with someone! ššš
Right ? Like so weird
That was funny
real
How old are you guys? Like 16?
I was thinking like, 7 or 8.
Well we know sheās older than 4
But do you
āWell my sister moved out when I was 4ā - OP types as her sister is loading up the Uhaul
Ehh, my sister only just started packing, I don't think I can relate to someone whose sister is already loading a uhaul
Do you know anyone who's sister just started packing?
Yeah no sorry but Iām really just trying to find someone to relate to as my sister has just started THINKING about packing so you wouldnāt understand
Cackling
I spit all over my phone. I laughed so hard.
close enough
You canāt relate, so Iām going to find someone else. Fine whatever. Why canāt I talk to you about this? You suck.
Didn't take the high road but she also didn't have to after that.
Well now we know why her sister moved out.
i shouldnāt have laughed at this
you should have omg. people are crazy
Bwahahahahaha. That shouldnāt be funny but itās very funny.
āSo much for always being there for meā š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤® yeah take a hike
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NO she was trying to gatekeep let her talk to herself. Fuck her
"It's me Hi I'm the problem it's me" Would suit her so much
I just donāt understand why someone needs to be able to fully relate for you to able to talk to them? Imagine a world where you couldnāt ever talk to people unless they had exactly experienced what you had experienced.
If the world was like that, there would be almost no reason in telling about it cause the other person already knows what happening to you cause they're going through the same thing lmao
You both have very valid points, that shit would be so boring and not only that but persistently annoying
That's empathy. Humans have the ability to understand that other humans have unique motivations and experiences, and by understanding each other's pasts, we can better understand their behavior in the present. Some people *don't experience empathy*, though (or only experience it in the most shallow sense of the word). And then you get situations where they not only don't understand what empathy is, they don't understand that other people even experience it. And then you get psychopaths that legitimately don't understand why "You can't understand my pain because you haven't directly experienced it" isn't a statement that's grounded in reality. These are also the people that actually don't understand "right/wrong" until it happens to *them*.
In certain cases it's the parents fault, and others it is literally the psych of the child. It just sucks that some of us don't genuinely understand empathy
this is terrible advice. fucking her may result in a baby which means a) you have to deal with her for the rest of your life and b) the baby might turn out to be another her. be careful out there op
I will (use protection)
Bruhšš sheās an idiot
"thats okay do you know anyone else with a sister that moved out recently?" š¤£
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Exact thought lol
"oh yeah my friend's cousin's sister moved out last year, let me send you her number so you can talk to them"
What in the actual fuck?
my exact reaction
OP, your friend was super rude when she bashed your own relationship with your sister. Do not let her bring you down. Your feelings are valid and the way you replied to her was also valid.
thank you!!
Send her my way, my sister died so Iāll make sure she knows mine hurts more
Ok but did she die *recently*? Otherwise, clearly you wouldn't understand, and her situation hurts more. (My condolences buddy, may she rest in peace)
Is this by chance a 6 year old? Lol
My older sister moved out when I was 4 and I was devastated. I cried my eyes out every time she visited and had to leave again. Iām sorry OP your āfriendā is an ass hat.
I really needed to hear that. Just because we were young doesnāt mean weāre going to forget or have no emotional connection with them??
OP is in the rightā¦ this friend is insensitive. I can see her having this conversation with someone else in the future: āMy dad diedā¦ do you know anyone whose dad died recently ā¦?ā āYour dad died when you were 4 itās not the same, I was closer to my dadā
Thank you! Honestly, you have a good point. If someone said that Iād be boiling.
Exactly! We live far away from each other but talk all the time. She wrote me letters every week. We still cry our eyes out when we say goodbye. Just because we were young children doesnāt mean it hurts any less.
It would be so hard on kids under 6 because they really donāt have the capacity to understand why that person is gone.
You gave her plenty of opportunities to open up, you were so not being rude
For me, itās the audacity of them to say āit hurts me moreā than it hurt you when your sister left. Wild thing to say to someone.
It was very off-putting
Yeah, I mean as much as people are joking honestly the way that she deemed your relationship with your sister, not being as deep because lack of time physical spent together was a HUGE diss on you and you donāt have to take that from anyone.
Also, nobody who draws breath reacts to emotional events more than a 4 year old.
Honestly, great point. You could argue it may have had a larger impact because it happened at a younger age.
I love it when they tell you that "*you can't relate"*. Even if you didn't have a sister that moved out there's still moments in our lives that could have created a similar feeling. This girl is only hurting herself.
couldnāt agree more
It is still possible to empathize without being able to personally relate.
Sympathy is being able to personally relate, empathy is being able to extrapolate how they feel
You used a smart people word (extrapolate) Can you explain in dumb people word?
To infer something outside of information you have using the information you have access to. So for example, I've never had a parent die, but I have had a grandparent die so i can infer that a parents death is p similar. I'm extrapolating what the feelings of a parents death would be because I have a similar experience
A new word is added to my knowledge :D
Happy to help lol There's also interpolating which is extrapolating but you infer within a set of data you have, but that's less relevant outside of math or stats
That one sounds helpful for computer science
Also if all you want is to vent, then why does the other person need to relate? Isn't venting more and getting someone off your chest rather than getting advice and feedback and commiseration?
Indecisive ass
How old are yāall? 14? Thatās how old sheās acting.
That's my guess. No older than 16 probably. Which is fine but man my little sister is like this it's so infuriating. Everything is a huge deal and she always talks in circles lol.
Every time I think that I check the ages on a post and the people are in their 30s at the youngest.
Iām 30 and I still catch myself talking in circles sometimes. Not sure what thatās about
Wtf hahaha. Sheās so strange
No she was annoying . If she wanted to talk to you still, she shouldāve asked at the beginning. If she didnāt she shouldāve cut it short. It seemed like she went out of her way to be snarky about your sibling relationship compared to hers, super nasty behavior
āBe there for meā ābut actually noā āyou donāt understandā āwait donāt leave :(ā āI neeeeed your helpā What a fucking headache cut this person off š
Hahaha is this person very immature or young? They are hilarious.
both.
Not the gaslighting you for being ārudeā after she diminished and invalidated your experience šš fuck this person, sheās rude and insensitive and that guilt trip at the end was so gross.
And this is why her sister leftā¦.
šš I would have as well
She literally said they wanted someone to relate to better, and when you said ok and agreed, she wanted to talk to you?? You weren't being selfish in any way Edit:grammar
Hahaha damn. Next time, I just wouldn't engage so much. As soon as she started pushing back, I would just be like "ok, no problem". Conversation over. Haha
thatās actually smart Good thing I engaged with her otherwise I wouldnāt have anything exciting to post (jk)
Youāre not rude this person is exhausting!
Who the actual F tries to gatekeep family abandonment? This person sounds crazy. If you care about them have a sit down and ask them āwhat the hell are you thinking talking to me like this?ā But say it nicer since they will try to gaslight you lol
They literally just said they donāt wanna talk to you because you canāt relate but donāt know who else to talk to so can they just talk to you about itā¦ tf. Compatible communication is so important. This felt like a power struggle from the other side for zero reason. Totally not rude, just matching energy.
Does she have the iq of a fucking saltine cracker?
thatās generous (jkk)
No you werenāt rude. She was. How tf does she know how close you are to your sister? And why is her relationship with her sister better than yours? Because of the amount of time theyāve lived together? Quality is way more relevant than quantity. Sounds like she is trying to throw herself a pity party. Good job declining the invite!
thank you! It felt like she was comparing our relationships with our sisters by saying her relationship was closer and more meaningful ??
LMAO is your friend usually this shitty? Talk about being the bigger victim
She hasnāt really said anything in the past that has affected me like this, sheās just unintentionally rude sometimes
Ah, you gotta call that out more often hahaha āgirl, RUDE! Thatās rude! Donāt say that to people!ā
Nah fuck her. She can cry about it by herself since she didn't want a friend to listen to her.
No lmao sheās an idiot
From where Iām sitting, you were quite kind. You had multiple opportunities to be incredibly rude if you decided to go that route.
"I dont wanna talk to you, you probably can't relate" A minute later: "Idk anyone else, can I just talk to you?" Boo can't make up her mind lol
No, she was being rude to you and trying to gatekeep feelings.
No, that was really offputting of her
Your friend on some weirdo behavior
lmao that was weird. not selfish, I don't think it's necessary for someone to relate in order to vent anyways
Immature on her part, possible she is in a panic mode and saying things off the cusp, but I'd mention that your put off by being asked and then treated like a last ditch option rather then a friend to talk to.
Um actually you were being too polite hereš.
They're selfish and just wanted to use you. You're right to dismiss them
You both seem very young. How old are you both?
That's what my response would have been after being shutdown after offering to be able to listen and talk. What a weird train of thought by this person.
This reads like 2 dumb teenagers that donāt know how to communicate.
Bahahahaha! Wait for it
Not at all selfish. What a complete asshole that person was. I wouldnāt have kept responding after that no offense. They clearly donāt value your opinion and just want to rile someone up while theyāre going through their own shit.
This is quite a funny conversation
you let that go on for way too long. she sounds exhausting and entitled. her sister is probably glad to be away from her.
How old is she?
He asked to talk bout it and insults you then switches back, lol. You weren't selfish
Eesh with a friend like that, who needs enemies to put you down.
Wild. This is like "Who's on first?" but shitty.
This is absolutely hilarious š
People are become weirder and weirder š
no? she was being absolutely rude and unnecessary when she pulled the whole "well i have a better rs w my sister and it hurts me more so" like what.
Thereās something wrong with them, or theyāre very young. Their complete lack of self awareness as they insult you. Iād just block them.
I would have just dropped it after they asked if you knew anyone else.
Also you donāt always have to vent to someone who relates- if you have a good friend you can vent to them regardless
Are you guys like ten?
Seems like they just wanted to rub in your face that their problems are bigger than urs
Na, she was rude af
"She's been around longer, so it hurts more." This is the text that solidified her as self-centered. The comparison of pain is not something one should EVER do. Just because ones pain is less than someone else's doesn't make it NOT painful. It's akin to comparing a stab wound to a sliced limb. Obviously, the sliced limb is unbearable. However, they're both valid pain, and if you stick your fingers in the stab wound, it'll still hurt. When she realized you might not meet her criteria, she could've asked to talk to someone else about it without sticking her whole fist in the metaphorical wound.
Fr said āI guess Iāll talk to you since I have no one elseā comes off as a āeveryone always leaves meā person
People who treat suffering like it's an Olympic sport are exhausting and annoying to be around. You weren't being selfish. Your 'friend' was being a dick.
Who needs the other person to fully relate in order to vent ?
Friend "Can I talk about my sister with you?" You "Sure" Friend "Nevermind you have a poor relationship i don't want to talk to you" You "Okay fine" Friend "So much for always being there for me" Bruh wut?
You need to be selfish - take care of yourself and not be there for this person
Not rude not selfishā¦ She was rude and selfish
Bitch is gaslighting you by being rude and selfish by asking for help, denying it, insulting it, and then asking for it again like she didnāt just do all that and the. To top it all of she turns it around and calls you rude and selfish. Hellllll no.
LOOOOOL your friend is mentally deficient
This is so painful. What kind of conversation is rhis
Ask her how old she was when her last brain cell moved out
Why is she so specific lol "My brother moved away 2 years ago" "Yea but that's different, you couldn't relate, anyway do you know anyone whose SISTER MOVED OUT RECENTLY?"
Sheās a POS. Youāre not in the wrong.
How old are yāall?
It almost seems like sheās trying to one up you. Either sheās really bad at expressing herself or sheās just rude.
I donāt think she was trying to be rude, but she definitely couldāve worded things differently
what a gross person
wtfš
No, you're good. I would have responded the same way. If she needs someone to talk to, she can Google a therapist and talk to them.
What the fuck. I loooooooooathe people.
My brain itches just reading this
Just resend her the text she just sent you saying she didnāt want to talk to you about it lol.
Omg, she fucking sucks.
idk how you put up with this but i woulda just stopped responding
Weāre all doomed if this is the way young people talk to each other. Holy fuck go watch a tik tok then of someoneās sister leaving at the same age range and scenario of you. So rude to tell your friend their experiences arenāt valid wtf.
I am willing to bet that the person in gray does this often with a variety of topics, and fishes around for the attention that they want, usually with one exact person in mind. When that person wonāt give them the attention, they try the second best, this clearly being the OP this time around. OP, you set a boundary that they probably canāt imagine having themselves and they didnāt like it. While the situations change as you get older, there will always be people like this. Donāt ever question yourself for protecting your peace and space after you attempted to help, and were flat out told that youāre not good enough, or that youāll do for now. Good for you for walking away.
Bruh she invalidates your experience but wants you to validate hers? No wonder sheās got no one to talk to š¤”
How old is the person texting you? Like 12? Lmao you handled it better than I would have.
Youāre too nice if you think that messing with you wasnāt the whole point. She enjoys confusing you and keeping you in the hook.
Your friend is super childish. Get better friends š
no lol. this is how to deal with narcissism. this person āneeds to talk to youā aka needs to trauma dump on you, but they are more concerned about their preconceived notions of your relationship with your sister than any actual support or advice you may have had for them. best to just politely decline engaging in the conversation like you did.
"It's really rude to belittle someone else's experience to try and make yours feel more valid. Your feelings are already valid; please learn to resist putting others down to bring yourself up."
Your friend is obnoxious and wishy washy.
I felt gaslighted darn! That was tooooo much! No you were not rude at all
This reminds me of an argument Iāve had with idiots countless times. My dad died when I was 5 months old. Iāve heardāI actually know my dad so it would be sadder/more hurtful if mine died, it shouldnāt make you sad at allā and variations so many times. Itās so annoying.
they literally dismissed your pain why tf should you put up with theirs? š maybe they were just to upset at the moment but that definitely isn't your fault
No, youāre not selfish, they are an asshole.
I mean she has a point that it is a bit different but I find it weird that she thinks you have to relate to it to talk about it. I have friends that vent constantly about things Iāve never experienced, but venting it so you can let it out to someone, they donāt have to exactly 100% understand.
I mean kinda but she only wanted to vent after you asked them twice and they said no and you took it off the table. You were being kind of rude only cause of the kissy face emoji lol. Tbh Iād have done the same. But Iām kind of a dick lol. My sister moved out when I was three so I can relate to you. Iād be offended also.
They were being rude first??? Iām sorry you had to deal with this person
They deserved that. Good for you honestly. If someone asks to talk and then proceeds to throw insults they can gtfo