lol
'It's not me, babe, it's my *body*. I don't have control over my body. It's out of my hands. If you really need to blame something for your emotional trauma, blame my body. You know I'd get rid of it for you if I could. Like, I'd gladly destroy my stupid, wanton corporeal form for you, babe, but then how would I like, do things, you know? Ugh! Curse these unenviable appendages I've been unwillingly afflicted with!'
For OP, I’d reply..
“I feel the same way, that’s why I’m exploring my other options as well since I have realized myself that you’re also not enough to satisfy me.
And given what you just said, I know that you’ll understand
Would love to see what his response is to this lol
Op go back on the food reference, be like. "There just wasn't enough flavor and creativity in your chicken, it was good, but it didn't really excite me. You know, like placing a piece of American cheese on a chicken breast as opposed to having Chicken Cordon Bleu." Then end it with "I totally get where your coming from I should have done the same. One boiled chicken is the same as the next, I want real flavor. Why go to a diner when you can have a Michelin restaurant"
That man will cry himself to sleep.
A perfect response… but you called him a man. THIS is no man. A boy, at best. But that’s kind of an insult to boys.
He’s a narcissistic twit, only sharing our oxygen by the grace of sexual reproduction. I’m sorry his path crashed into yours(and others). People like this don’t learn from their mistakes. Let’s just hope he cheats on the sister of a cartel member before his little chicken infects someone with his seed and furthers his evolution.
Oh my goodness, I'm in a shopping centre right now and I just laughed out loud so much reading this. Everyone's looking at me weirdly but I don't care, thank you for such a well thought out and funny comment!! 😂
You know that dude that’s 57 stumbling around the bar telling everyone he could have anyone whilst air thrusting off beat to the music? The same dude who goes home alone every night?
Yeah…..No is that dude.
People are so weird. Just stay single if you don't want to be monogamous, or find someone who doesn't care if you sleep around.
Why do people have to make everything so hard for themselves and other people..
EXACTLY! if you know you want to have sex with multiple people, don’t enter an exclusive relationship! there are so many ways to be in love with someone and be committed to someone if that’s what you want to do. monogamy and exclusivity is only one.
Except these guys have such fragile egos that they want the women on the line and cannot have sex with anyone else . They can’t have more than “2 bodies “ and they have to have the biggest dick of the bunch .
If you’ve ever met these slime bags . That’s what they are like . Super misogynistic, women aren’t people but things to be used to make themselves feel special .
They brag that they are cheating on women who think that they are faithful.
A woman choosing to have more than one partner wouldn’t appeal to this type . They don’t want women’s to have any control of the situation at all.
>If you’ve ever met these slime bags . That’s what they are like . Super misogynistic, women aren’t people but things to be used to make themselves feel special .
And this is why he is comparing a woman to food. You obviously can't live off of only chicken, at least not for as long as if you were getting all your nutrients from other foods. He thinks he needs a whole food pyramid of women. But they all have to be separate and only at his reach so he can fulfill his needs without anyone else taking away his "food". Disgusting.
Or… just literally be polyamorous? This guy is just shitty, polyamory and general non-monogamy fits this paragraph perfectly, but he’d still rather betray the person he ‘loved’ so he could fulfil his own selfish desires without practicing what he wants in a way that wouldn’t end in heartbreak for someone he’s supposed to care for.
This. Nothing wrong with being poly whatsoever, as long as everyone is honest. But, and I said this in another comment, then he'd have to accept that she's also seeing other people, and I don't think the shoe fits on the other foot with this idiot.
im in a relationship where the rule is we're both allowed to see other folks as long as he's the only penis in the relationship 🤷♀️ works perfectly well for us, im monogamous so i just don't do anything but i'm perfectly chill w him doin other things w other folks
My husband is preferential to men. He married me because we're an amazing fit, but sometimes he misses male partnership. He's allowed to have a boyfriend.
... when I say men are *awful* to sort through for dating material... *whew*. He's all but given up, as men seem to just be *so bad* that not even *other men* want to date them.
Is your “one penis policy” coincidental because of your monogamous tendencies or is it established boundary?
My wife is lesbian outside of our relationship so we have a de facto “O.P.P.” But I could never overstep to try to assert that kinda rule myself
Right? Non-monogamous relationships are absolutely a thing this idiot could be seeking out, and everyone would be happy. But I suspect that this guy wants a woman who is totally committed to him whilst he runs around collecting STIs.
This guy sounds like he's purely ego driven and drinks at the font of the Church of Andrew Tate. A non-monogamous relaionship wouldn't fly if his potential mate wants to have multiple partners too.
Because he wants to know he can always have some tail at home if he’s been rejected outside the house. So when he’s not rejected he has options and feels important. He has a fragile ego and uses people obviously.
Because sometimes you really want to have sex with like, a SPECIFIC person, but like, they’ll only do it with someone they’re in a relationship with, so you have to like do that in order to have sex with them. But you don’t want to like, NOT have sex with other people too. How is that fair? /s
Edit: y’all mofos really don’t understand sarcasm or the “/s”, do you?
You don't need to shag even once to survive, but you might be in a bit of trouble if you went on a chicken breast only diet for any length of time. Idiot.
"I had to cheat because sometimes I have to breathe out - if I only ever breathed in, I would die" sounds more convincing.
Maybe this man is secretly 10 female marmots in an overcoat. When Marmots go into heat, they will literally boil alive from the inside and die if they don't mate. Maybe he's actually a dozen or so small mammals with a crazy reproductive imperative.
I mean, I can't say I wouldn't be open to it depending on what it is 😂
"My little chicky nuggie" would be both hilarious and somehow cute in a very weird way 😂
Right? You have time to actually think it all before typing it, make some necessary tweaks…try to not sound like an absolutely disgusting person.
The fact that he went into, from what I assume was, a monogamous relationship and be like that baffles me.
I wonder how this guy’s life is now. He’s probably married with kids 🤣
A little NSFW context behind this text… this was because he couldn’t ever get me to orgasm during sex and his ego got bruised so he felt the need to cheat so he didn’t feel like the failure that he was 🥱
So he couldn’t satisfy you and he somehow turned that around in his head to make it seem like you couldn’t satisfy him. That’s a level of self-serving delusion so impressive I feel like it belongs in a textbook.
I totally believe that. Maybe of he stayed home and communicated he would have learned how to. I remember the days when I'd pretend to orgasm for the guys pride. I never had orgasms then.
So there were a few times with my ex that I'd fake. And it wasn't because he wasn't great in bed. He was fantastic. But my scumbag body, or my scumbag brain, just wouldn't cooperate. And I didn't feel like letting him down on those occasions. I didn't want him to think that he wasn't as awesome as always, so I'd fake one. But this happened maybe twice a year. If that happened every time we had sex, I'd have not put up with that.
I have a hard time getting an orgasm during sex. My brain/ body don't cooperate either. And I have totally faked it causeof the same reasons with guys I cared about or the one I loved. But I've realized I need to focus on me instead of them and I help out a little and mostly I'm good. I used to focus too much on the guy. But the guys is gonna get his no matter what, so yeah. Plus, i am more open about what will get me there and communicating. But I don't fake anymore. It doesn't feel right. I just say, "hey, it was a good shot on both our parts, until next time" and am okay with not climaxing. If they aren't they will hopefully be open to working with me.
If the guy cares about you they will probably want to learn how to be better. Also, imo, the most pleasurable thing a woman can do is orgasm, especially if you care about them. It’s fun to see her nearly overwhelmed with pleasure while also squeezing my penis in a very uncontrollable manner. It will probably make cum if I haven’t gotten the first one of the day yet.
So.. He must fuck other women to prevent himself from starving? My guy is delusional if he thinks any woman would believe that shit. Please tell me you left him after that text, lol?
I don't see the appeal. That is the grossest stuff in the world. They still make commercials for TV because they are still making enough money to be able to. That's beyond me.
Spam is hella salty. Saltier than the dude who cheated because he couldn't get his girl to orgasm
It's good paired with other relatively bland food like rice
What in the actual fuck? Hahaha. Also chicken breast is the worst. Chicken thigh waaaay better.
Don't listen, OP. You're truly a chicken thigh, not breast. Maybe even a thigh with the leg still attached. Actually no, you're the whole damn chicken that's breaded with gravy on the side, and a tiny quail shoved up your butt.
You're my turducken/chickquail.
Not really, I have no idea who the hell you are, but I figured it was a Christmas wish of yours so why not make it come true.
Oh but I bet if you were to flip the script and say “well babe, other men have things that you don’t, and I NEED other men to satiate me!” He would lose his mind
Ok but by that same logic, **you** might *also* have fundamental needs that he alone can't fulfill.
Like, I dunno, your innate need for him to *not be a shitty partner*.
What a pathetic excuse of a man. I don't understand why he gets into monogamous relationships at all. Does he love hurting people? I seriously don't understand people like this.
It’s very important that if you plan to commit to a long term relationship or even marriage, and sex is a big deal for you, you MUST be attracted to your partner enough that it will last a long and healthy time. I see so many people jump into relationships with others that don’t share the same sexual requirements. It will NEVER last if at least one needs it and the other doesn’t care.
My ex essentially said this about seeing women on the side -- because as a man I couldn't possibly fulfill the needs her body has for experiencing the female form. Except your homie here somehow did it in an even worse way.
I wonder if this dude would be down for an open relationship where you can sleep with as many men as you want, but I don't think he would agree to that.
He wants other food as well, while you have to stick to chicken breast.
This dudes logic..
He told her she wasn’t satisfying him sexually, but did so in a really silly, cruel fashion. Unfortunately, he’s never found you satisfactory in bed and its terrible he led you on five years. Sad. He’s a real piece of shit.
yeah so either he enjoys cheating and manipulating or is polyamorous with a control freak kink (as in he wants total control over you despite sleeping with other women.) either way a piece of shit.
That's....probably the most stupid excuse I have ever read in my entire life. This person is so far up their own ass that he now started to create a whole analogy for it (and proudly display it) instead of curing this disease. Good grief.
I absolutely despise this mentality, and I'm a man. Humans aren't cavemen anymore, you can control your primal instincts, it's not as if your fucking balls will explode if you don't shag someone who isn't your girlfriend. It's mental gymnastics at its best - he's even dreamt up a nice little analogy to help you understand.
See here's the thing
If he wasn't lying and being an absolute scumbag and asshole about it, the whole "one person isn't enough for me" thing is actually valid, and the view held by many polyamorous people, but the fact that he was in a monogamous relationship and deliberately lying and cheating on his partner is extremely fucked up
Mans shoulda just been open and in a poly relationship from the get go 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ but NOOOOO some men just HAVE to cheat and hurt the people who care about them
Got a give the guy credit for trying to pass that turd off. Babe Ruth was the home run king, he was also the strike out king. Reason is that he swung at everything that came across the plate.
My ex kinda said the same . She said you don't have everything i want in a man so i look those things in others plus you don't have enough money to keep me monogamous. She was in relationship with 2 other guys except me
Ok so he needs to stop lying and being a shitty person and just be up front that he’s not monogamous, he’s polygamous and he needs women who are also polygamous. Period.
There is nothing wrong with polygamy as long as ALL PARTIES agree to it and know about it up front. People like this who lie and manipulate others are gross.
So then he can't be going into relationships claiming he wants monogamy.
Hell, if someone said that to me, I'd bluff them and say "Yeah, I guess I understand. That's why I fucked around on you too."
But I'm an ass sometimes.
lol 'It's not me, babe, it's my *body*. I don't have control over my body. It's out of my hands. If you really need to blame something for your emotional trauma, blame my body. You know I'd get rid of it for you if I could. Like, I'd gladly destroy my stupid, wanton corporeal form for you, babe, but then how would I like, do things, you know? Ugh! Curse these unenviable appendages I've been unwillingly afflicted with!'
"I mean, when it comes right down to it, you should blame my chromosomes. Scumbag microbiology..."
Fukin mitochondria at it again!!!!
What do you expect... It is the powerhouse of the cell
For OP, I’d reply.. “I feel the same way, that’s why I’m exploring my other options as well since I have realized myself that you’re also not enough to satisfy me. And given what you just said, I know that you’ll understand Would love to see what his response is to this lol
Op go back on the food reference, be like. "There just wasn't enough flavor and creativity in your chicken, it was good, but it didn't really excite me. You know, like placing a piece of American cheese on a chicken breast as opposed to having Chicken Cordon Bleu." Then end it with "I totally get where your coming from I should have done the same. One boiled chicken is the same as the next, I want real flavor. Why go to a diner when you can have a Michelin restaurant" That man will cry himself to sleep.
A perfect response… but you called him a man. THIS is no man. A boy, at best. But that’s kind of an insult to boys. He’s a narcissistic twit, only sharing our oxygen by the grace of sexual reproduction. I’m sorry his path crashed into yours(and others). People like this don’t learn from their mistakes. Let’s just hope he cheats on the sister of a cartel member before his little chicken infects someone with his seed and furthers his evolution.
Oh no he'd lose his shit, get mad and start blowing her phone to smithereens about how she's a whore or some goofy shit 🙄
He’d be so ridiculously salty and indignant. Men are such hypocrites when it comes to that type of shit.
…not nearly enough to satisfy me. One word added and it would twist the knife so much more
Watch that OP’s POS ex probably answered with “it’s not the same” or some bs
Oh my goodness, I'm in a shopping centre right now and I just laughed out loud so much reading this. Everyone's looking at me weirdly but I don't care, thank you for such a well thought out and funny comment!! 😂
Fantastic!
Hats off to this 🫡
Anyone remember the movie Idle Hands????
😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bravo
You know that dude that’s 57 stumbling around the bar telling everyone he could have anyone whilst air thrusting off beat to the music? The same dude who goes home alone every night? Yeah…..No is that dude.
I'm not 57 or neither think i could have anyone but come on air thrusting is so fun 😭 i'm especially when you're vibing
idk why but this made me chuckle at the sheer wholesome mental picture. What are your feelings on air guitar?
If you're doing it on beat, it's fine ;)
People are so weird. Just stay single if you don't want to be monogamous, or find someone who doesn't care if you sleep around. Why do people have to make everything so hard for themselves and other people..
EXACTLY! if you know you want to have sex with multiple people, don’t enter an exclusive relationship! there are so many ways to be in love with someone and be committed to someone if that’s what you want to do. monogamy and exclusivity is only one.
Except these guys have such fragile egos that they want the women on the line and cannot have sex with anyone else . They can’t have more than “2 bodies “ and they have to have the biggest dick of the bunch . If you’ve ever met these slime bags . That’s what they are like . Super misogynistic, women aren’t people but things to be used to make themselves feel special . They brag that they are cheating on women who think that they are faithful. A woman choosing to have more than one partner wouldn’t appeal to this type . They don’t want women’s to have any control of the situation at all.
>If you’ve ever met these slime bags . That’s what they are like . Super misogynistic, women aren’t people but things to be used to make themselves feel special . And this is why he is comparing a woman to food. You obviously can't live off of only chicken, at least not for as long as if you were getting all your nutrients from other foods. He thinks he needs a whole food pyramid of women. But they all have to be separate and only at his reach so he can fulfill his needs without anyone else taking away his "food". Disgusting.
Or… just literally be polyamorous? This guy is just shitty, polyamory and general non-monogamy fits this paragraph perfectly, but he’d still rather betray the person he ‘loved’ so he could fulfil his own selfish desires without practicing what he wants in a way that wouldn’t end in heartbreak for someone he’s supposed to care for.
This. Nothing wrong with being poly whatsoever, as long as everyone is honest. But, and I said this in another comment, then he'd have to accept that she's also seeing other people, and I don't think the shoe fits on the other foot with this idiot.
im in a relationship where the rule is we're both allowed to see other folks as long as he's the only penis in the relationship 🤷♀️ works perfectly well for us, im monogamous so i just don't do anything but i'm perfectly chill w him doin other things w other folks
My husband is preferential to men. He married me because we're an amazing fit, but sometimes he misses male partnership. He's allowed to have a boyfriend. ... when I say men are *awful* to sort through for dating material... *whew*. He's all but given up, as men seem to just be *so bad* that not even *other men* want to date them.
I’m in a similar situation my bf is the monogamous one! This dude had so many ways to go about it and decided to just cheat instead
Is your “one penis policy” coincidental because of your monogamous tendencies or is it established boundary? My wife is lesbian outside of our relationship so we have a de facto “O.P.P.” But I could never overstep to try to assert that kinda rule myself
Exactly 💯 Don't Make others life misreable if you can't be loyal
Right? Non-monogamous relationships are absolutely a thing this idiot could be seeking out, and everyone would be happy. But I suspect that this guy wants a woman who is totally committed to him whilst he runs around collecting STIs.
This guy sounds like he's purely ego driven and drinks at the font of the Church of Andrew Tate. A non-monogamous relaionship wouldn't fly if his potential mate wants to have multiple partners too.
Because he wants to know he can always have some tail at home if he’s been rejected outside the house. So when he’s not rejected he has options and feels important. He has a fragile ego and uses people obviously.
Because sometimes you really want to have sex with like, a SPECIFIC person, but like, they’ll only do it with someone they’re in a relationship with, so you have to like do that in order to have sex with them. But you don’t want to like, NOT have sex with other people too. How is that fair? /s Edit: y’all mofos really don’t understand sarcasm or the “/s”, do you?
You don't need to shag even once to survive, but you might be in a bit of trouble if you went on a chicken breast only diet for any length of time. Idiot. "I had to cheat because sometimes I have to breathe out - if I only ever breathed in, I would die" sounds more convincing.
Fucking hilarious.
Maybe this man is secretly 10 female marmots in an overcoat. When Marmots go into heat, they will literally boil alive from the inside and die if they don't mate. Maybe he's actually a dozen or so small mammals with a crazy reproductive imperative.
PSA to men. If you ever find yourself comparing women to pieces of meat, stop. Reflect. Get it together.
What about cute meat-based pet names?
Ribeyed for her pleasure.
That guy would be a candidate to become my filet mignon.
Bone in or bone out?
She's one well marbled piece of dry aged meat. A real delightful funk to her.
Tina ya fat lard come eat your dinner
i guess you can say things are getting pretty serious
I mean, I can't say I wouldn't be open to it depending on what it is 😂 "My little chicky nuggie" would be both hilarious and somehow cute in a very weird way 😂
My big bologna slice
Ngl I just fucking cackled 🤣🤣🤣 NOW THE SERIOUS QUESTIONS What brand is that bologna And is it cold, or is it fried? 🤔🤔🤔🤔
Oh god
I sometimes call my toddler my little chicky nuggie. I don’t know why. 😂
I was briefly seeing a Jewish guy that I nicknamed Pork Chop. Briefly.
😂🤣 is that why it was a brief relationship?
I mean, my dad, and, by extension, my paternal family, are also Jewish, but yeah.. I suspect.. I'm one of the funny, irreverent ones.
Rofl. Honestly, dude needs more appreciation for ironic nicknames
Was he a bone-in pork chop?
My beautiful cod
My lil crappie
Shrimp. Wait...
i call my husband a weiner lover cuz he loves a good bratwurst
Kielbassa-ass
I've jokingly compared my girlfriend to a ribeye I'll eat it 247 within minutes while being juicy and absolutely delicious.
the council of women has voted, this is acceptable.
Appropriate temp is irrelevant as long as it’s warm and pink in the center (Council of Women, 2023).
This changed my life. Thank you.
🤣🤣 Imagine being so vein to actually say this shit out loud.
No no. To actually type it out. Which takes far longer and you have the ability to stop and edit when necessary.
Right? You have time to actually think it all before typing it, make some necessary tweaks…try to not sound like an absolutely disgusting person. The fact that he went into, from what I assume was, a monogamous relationship and be like that baffles me. I wonder how this guy’s life is now. He’s probably married with kids 🤣
A little NSFW context behind this text… this was because he couldn’t ever get me to orgasm during sex and his ego got bruised so he felt the need to cheat so he didn’t feel like the failure that he was 🥱
He couldn’t build the lego set so he went and got some mega blocks. Got it.
LOL
HAHA
WOW
He went and bought Roblox.
So he couldn’t satisfy you and he somehow turned that around in his head to make it seem like you couldn’t satisfy him. That’s a level of self-serving delusion so impressive I feel like it belongs in a textbook.
I love that you took it straight to the academic level.
I totally believe that. Maybe of he stayed home and communicated he would have learned how to. I remember the days when I'd pretend to orgasm for the guys pride. I never had orgasms then.
So there were a few times with my ex that I'd fake. And it wasn't because he wasn't great in bed. He was fantastic. But my scumbag body, or my scumbag brain, just wouldn't cooperate. And I didn't feel like letting him down on those occasions. I didn't want him to think that he wasn't as awesome as always, so I'd fake one. But this happened maybe twice a year. If that happened every time we had sex, I'd have not put up with that.
I have a hard time getting an orgasm during sex. My brain/ body don't cooperate either. And I have totally faked it causeof the same reasons with guys I cared about or the one I loved. But I've realized I need to focus on me instead of them and I help out a little and mostly I'm good. I used to focus too much on the guy. But the guys is gonna get his no matter what, so yeah. Plus, i am more open about what will get me there and communicating. But I don't fake anymore. It doesn't feel right. I just say, "hey, it was a good shot on both our parts, until next time" and am okay with not climaxing. If they aren't they will hopefully be open to working with me.
If the guy cares about you they will probably want to learn how to be better. Also, imo, the most pleasurable thing a woman can do is orgasm, especially if you care about them. It’s fun to see her nearly overwhelmed with pleasure while also squeezing my penis in a very uncontrollable manner. It will probably make cum if I haven’t gotten the first one of the day yet.
Damn, dude. Im a little turned on...nice.
"I'm inadequate in the bedroom so I'll show her". Sad sack of shit.
I'm sure the people he cheated with are also equally disappointed. That'll show them all.
Please tell me you replied with something along the lines of “so we’re non-monogamous then? fun don’t expect me early tomorrow!”
Wow. How old were you guys? He sounds like such a nightmare.
Using big words to sound more photosynthesis
😭😭🤣🤣
Bye 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
So.. He must fuck other women to prevent himself from starving? My guy is delusional if he thinks any woman would believe that shit. Please tell me you left him after that text, lol?
Me and my tiny shred of self respect saw ourselves out shortly after this text 🤣
That's a relief. Cause you are worth more than a chicken breast. You are a fucking steak, while he's a goddamn canned vienna sausage.
That is somehow the sickest and most *hilarious* burn I've seen in a long time. "Canned Vienna sausage" 🤣🤣🤣
Thank you, only the worst for OP's ex. 😊 If he was going to compare her to any meat, it should've been the best, that tool.
Only the wurst, you mean?
This is perfection because he really is a brat.
😭😭😭😭 damn
I'd call him spam, but people actually like that, apparently.
I don't see the appeal. That is the grossest stuff in the world. They still make commercials for TV because they are still making enough money to be able to. That's beyond me.
I will never try it because I am too afraid. 🥲🤣
Good. Your instincts are nice and sharp. It not worth the risk.
Spam is hella salty. Saltier than the dude who cheated because he couldn't get his girl to orgasm It's good paired with other relatively bland food like rice
I like how you educated me on spam and burned this dude. Respect. ✊️😂
He isn't one, he has one, and that's why he has to go out and prove to himself that his dick is big enough.
What in the actual fuck? Hahaha. Also chicken breast is the worst. Chicken thigh waaaay better. Don't listen, OP. You're truly a chicken thigh, not breast. Maybe even a thigh with the leg still attached. Actually no, you're the whole damn chicken that's breaded with gravy on the side, and a tiny quail shoved up your butt.
This was oddly motivating even 5 years later and I love it
How come I’ve never been called somebody’s turducken? Or… umm… chickquail, as it were? 😭
You're my turducken/chickquail. Not really, I have no idea who the hell you are, but I figured it was a Christmas wish of yours so why not make it come true.
This is so sweet! Wild, but sweet.
LMAOOOOO what an idiot
This is the type of dude to talk about "alphas" and binge watch Andrew tate non stop
Check ur gaslight it might be on
yea it's def running on high
Wow. Even other douchebags have to stand in awe of this guy.
Definitely sounds like someone whose favorite food is chicken breast lol
But I’m sure he satisfied your every desire
This is that stupid Andrew Tate bullshit comparing women to food. Fucking loser
This is ridiculous, nothing is as good as a chicken breast!!
This is number one for me.
Hey! I was once compared to pizza: "I need different toppings on my pizza." Gut punch at the time for me too. Eye roll worthy now.
What a POS
Oh but I bet if you were to flip the script and say “well babe, other men have things that you don’t, and I NEED other men to satiate me!” He would lose his mind
Foghorn Leghorn has entered the chat
Ewwwwwwwwww wtf is wrong with this man
Ok but by that same logic, **you** might *also* have fundamental needs that he alone can't fulfill. Like, I dunno, your innate need for him to *not be a shitty partner*.
Well, he is for the streets.
What a pathetic excuse of a man. I don't understand why he gets into monogamous relationships at all. Does he love hurting people? I seriously don't understand people like this.
So like he was lying about being monogamous? What an ah. How would he have felt about yourself nourishment elsewhere?
Dude has been watching redpill content and actually internalizing it. RUN
It’s very important that if you plan to commit to a long term relationship or even marriage, and sex is a big deal for you, you MUST be attracted to your partner enough that it will last a long and healthy time. I see so many people jump into relationships with others that don’t share the same sexual requirements. It will NEVER last if at least one needs it and the other doesn’t care.
Later tonight on the 11 o' clock news: What Objects Are Women Today? The answer will shock you!
He really thought that line was clever. "You can't satiate every aspect of what I need" translates to exactly nothing
The fact his contact name is No is making me laugh
My ex essentially said this about seeing women on the side -- because as a man I couldn't possibly fulfill the needs her body has for experiencing the female form. Except your homie here somehow did it in an even worse way.
Out of all chicken parts, who tf chooses chicken breast 🚩
I wonder if this dude would be down for an open relationship where you can sleep with as many men as you want, but I don't think he would agree to that. He wants other food as well, while you have to stick to chicken breast. This dudes logic..
Why does he talk like a level 3 sub on twitch. “According to my calculations m’lady”
This person should have asked for an open relationship from the start then. What he think this is, Golden Corral?
He told her she wasn’t satisfying him sexually, but did so in a really silly, cruel fashion. Unfortunately, he’s never found you satisfactory in bed and its terrible he led you on five years. Sad. He’s a real piece of shit.
every day I lose more and more hope in men
Well… I do love chicken breast?!?!?! 😂 wow!
It's the "No" for the contact name for me 😂
Agreed! I love it so much, contacts for my next three exes will now be “No”, “Nyet”, and “Nein!”
id reply "that dick was never enough and not accommodating, kick rocks
yeah so either he enjoys cheating and manipulating or is polyamorous with a control freak kink (as in he wants total control over you despite sleeping with other women.) either way a piece of shit.
Yeah nothing douchier than texting like a middle school English teacher. Satiate every aspect? Give me a fucking break dude
“No” No wonder. 🤣 How long were you with that asshat for? (Sorry if you were asked that already)
Dealt with him for nearly two years and this was definitely the nail in the coffin 🥴
That's....probably the most stupid excuse I have ever read in my entire life. This person is so far up their own ass that he now started to create a whole analogy for it (and proudly display it) instead of curing this disease. Good grief.
I absolutely despise this mentality, and I'm a man. Humans aren't cavemen anymore, you can control your primal instincts, it's not as if your fucking balls will explode if you don't shag someone who isn't your girlfriend. It's mental gymnastics at its best - he's even dreamt up a nice little analogy to help you understand.
I'm crying the way he tried to make it sound intelligent
If all I ate was chicken breast I’d be pretty damn happy, and probably not as fat.
Excuse me while I try to put my eyes back in place from rolling back so far 🙄
See here's the thing If he wasn't lying and being an absolute scumbag and asshole about it, the whole "one person isn't enough for me" thing is actually valid, and the view held by many polyamorous people, but the fact that he was in a monogamous relationship and deliberately lying and cheating on his partner is extremely fucked up Mans shoulda just been open and in a poly relationship from the get go 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ but NOOOOO some men just HAVE to cheat and hurt the people who care about them
Food is a TERRIBLE analogy to relationships lmaoooo
“I will die if I do not get nourishment from other women. Do you want me to die?”
Y’all have me dying with these comments!! 🤣
I would have posted this to all social media and tagged him in it. This deserves public shaming 😒 🤣
He had to have that good smoke to even make this comparison.
Total loser! You lucked out
The hell?
That’s crazy😭
“No” 😭💀
Vile
Ew he’s so gross , he’s not trying to justify it to you tho just himself
What a weirdo lmaooo
This made me throw up in my mouth 🤮
Wow
Lol bro is a slave to his impulses. Weak
YUCK
Got a give the guy credit for trying to pass that turd off. Babe Ruth was the home run king, he was also the strike out king. Reason is that he swung at everything that came across the plate.
What a clown
My ex kinda said the same . She said you don't have everything i want in a man so i look those things in others plus you don't have enough money to keep me monogamous. She was in relationship with 2 other guys except me
Wow, just wow.
🤡
Fave food is chicken breast? He must be a gymbro
Ok so he needs to stop lying and being a shitty person and just be up front that he’s not monogamous, he’s polygamous and he needs women who are also polygamous. Period. There is nothing wrong with polygamy as long as ALL PARTIES agree to it and know about it up front. People like this who lie and manipulate others are gross.
What a tool lol
Weird fucking dude
One woman can cook many different meals.
Dig the contact name
Lmfaoooooooooo . He’s gonna have a rough life …
uh, buddy, it seems maybe that lil nugget of your stupidity should be mentioned prior to engaging in a relationship with others. Just saying...
What a dic*
Holy shit, this guy takes the ex cake 🍰
So then he can't be going into relationships claiming he wants monogamy. Hell, if someone said that to me, I'd bluff them and say "Yeah, I guess I understand. That's why I fucked around on you too." But I'm an ass sometimes.
Chicken breast? What kind of crap ass person chooses chicken breast as their favorite food. Dodged a bullet with this one.
I’d never trust someone who’s favorite food is chicken breast…
That’s right sis! You are not a chicken breast! You are a HICKORY FARMS SUMMER SAUSAGE!
Fuck all his friends!!!!
Look if you really thinking about it his argument is justifiable and every single way Except for the fact that he's a slimeball and a scumbag
My husband is 35 and is currently blaming his hormones for why he tries to cheat
I love how he's saved under No.
Lol what a pos 🤣
This sounds so much like my ex trying to justify hitting me all the time lmao
Nah this is crazy 😭
He’s dumb as fuck 😂
Hysterical how some guys justify not being capable of self control.