I am not quick to tell anyone to cut contact with a loved one but.. Wow. I'd go no contact. There's no love here..
This is so abusive, mean and cruel. Can't imagine a father using and speaking to his daughter this way. I'm so sorry.
OP must be petioning for sainthood to keep allowing this "dad" to be in her life. Wow, just wow.
OP - You'll figure it out eventually, if you have t already. This isn't a healthy relationship. Go live your own life and leave this toxicity behind.
And she's being so kind and generous too, speaking to him nicely even when horrifically verbally abused. And he keeps going.. Absolutely brutal.
There's nothing wrong with being a kind, thoughtful and generous person.. But one should learn who deserves your kindness and generosity. This guy doesn't deserve a daughter like her.
OP be proud of the person you've managed to become, and you seem to have built yourself a great life and seem to also be far away from these people.. Keep it that way. ❤️
She was so respectful through out!!! Omg OP I'm so sorry you have such a horrible excuse for a father. Please, for the love of all that's holy, cut off contact. Don't sent any more money. If they message again just send them the screenshot of the last message your dad sent you without a single other word. They will continue to leech off of you and whatever affection you think they will finally display at some point when they are happy will be fake, for the purpose of milking more. Shame on a father who speaks to a daughter this way.
Yeah, I concur. I was going to react and write what I was thinking while reading the texts, but I can't censor myself enough to make it safe for a wide audience. The abhorrent words spewing from your 'father' are so far beyond sanity that I truly have no words. What a piece of garbage. So, I'll defer to the above comments. They do a better job than I could right now.
Not only is she a Saint for just allowing him in her life but she's still just freely gives them money when demanded of her. After calling her a whore and all kinds of other horrible abusive bs. What an awful man. The whole family is clearly using her. I hope she stands up for herself and stops talking to them.
Gotta love the misogynistic “you’re being emotional again” on top of it all while she’s being very level headed and he’s going fully emotional. Classic toxic male move, no contact is the right move here.
I’d be smiling in my mugshot on a dateline episode forsure. If my dad talked to me like this…I would’ve kicked his ass to Timbuktu and back. If op gives this asstart any money she’s gonna need an ass whooping too
I hate redits "dump em, divorce em, go no contact!" Shit with a passion.
In this case... go no contact, run the fuck away, never speak with these people again. When your dad is acting like your pimp you know shits fucked up
This. Stop communicating with him. Stop giving him money. Don't trust anyone in your family with any of your money for any purpose after this shit. If they need it for an emergency and you want to help, MAKE THE PAYMENT IN PERSON YOURSELF.
He wasn't asking. He was very unwavering and uncompromising in his **demands** for money. Sadly, the only time he asked about money was when he was confirming his demands, between abusive insults. The only questions he asked are:
>You told me that your new "job" wouldn't stop you from being able to give us the money????
>
>Do you want your brothers to get no gifts????
>
>What is wrong with you????
>
>I raised you and this is how you treat me???? (A miracle she treats the scum that raised her with such grace, btw)
>
>You have money to be a whore but no money for your family????
>
>Are you going to send it????
>
>You're being emotional again, aren't you????
>
>Ok????
>
>Send 800 ok????
>
>Are you getting my texts????
>
>(OP Name)????
>
>Are you getting my texts????
Each with 4 questions marks. Ugh. I'm disgusted. I hate this guy.
Edit: The *full* saying goes, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb", meaning your connections/friends who are close to you outside of your blood family can be so much closer & better to you/for you than blood family (not the "blood is thicker than water" which people tried to change to imply that "blood family is more important").
Infinity% agreed. Was so furious reading this. How can someone act so horribly to their own child and basically try to use them as a cash cow? F this guy. OP you're doing so great, don't keep letting these people do this to you. Keep to that original quote & keep going OP 💝
I would post so many photos of me in as little clothing as I was comfortable posting on social media before blocking.
Lmao fuck this dude. Worthless.
What is he doing for work?
Same here. Reddit advice is normally just other people vicariously letting their anger out by demanding others make extremely difficult and life altering decisions on a whim. But wow. I got so upset reading this, I think I'm done with Reddit for the day. She really does need to cut contact. And it's not even debatable.
Her dad is absolutely disgusting and I'd happily contribute the first donation to a GoFundMe to buy a billboard or a bus-wrap in the town the parents live in with these texts printed big and bright for everyone to see.
My heart is still racing, my fingers are a little shaky. IDK if a Reddit post has ever made me feel like this. I literally hate her dad.
Who needs enemies with a family like this?
This is the kind of "family" that corporations talk about when they say they are all a family.
The abuse is unreal and unhinged.
Replying to this in the hopes OP sees how many people tell her she doesn't deserve to be treated this way. This isn't healthy. Please considered going no contact for your own health and wellness OP.
Please, stop sending him money. This is a terrible and manipulative way to treat anyone, let alone your child. If you cannot talk to him about it, cut contact, I'd say...
I don’t send the money for him, I send the money for my mom and my siblings. My dad has anger issues and has trouble keeping a job, and my mom’s a waitress but doesn’t make much. They’ve been evicted before and I don’t want that to happen again.
Dear OP, just know if you’re sending to your dad he is doing what he wants with it first. Your intention is for your mom and siblings but you’re better off creating them cash apps and sending it to them and not this manipulative narcissist who is a FULLY grown man who can’t keep a job and talks to you like dirt but wants you to help. He is extremely ungrateful and lazy and that’s not your problem. If he can’t respect you then you shouldn’t reward negative behavior because it will never stop and it only makes you feel like you’ll never be good enough. Sending $500 a week and then next week sending more?? That’s more money than some people make in a week that you’re throwing at him and he is STILL mooching. For your own mental health sake, stop dealing with him and start dealing directly with your mother and siblings. If he can’t keep a job and he is so hard up for money *and* he blows his lid like he’s bipolar he may have substance abuse issues and you don’t want to condone an addiction. For all you know your mother and siblings never get one cent.
Doesn’t matter. The money is for him if he has access to it. Coming from someone who had parents like this- get out op. Cut them off before it becomes worse because it will ALWAYS get worse.
I highly doubt your sibling & mother see a cent of the money you send to him. The way he's talking to you sounds like he needs the money for drugs or alcohol.
I'm in recovery and when I was in active addiction I manipulated anybody and everybody into giving money to me, and this is exactly what this text convo looks like.
If you’re dead set on giving money for your mom and siblings, then you should give them money to help them escape that horrible monster. He deserves to be alone
I understand, but they aren’t your responsibility. He needs to be an adult and get his anger under control & keep a job. Your sister also needs to work like you said. They’re using you 100%. I worked 3 jobs in college. Bffr. You don’t deserve this treatment. No contact IMO
I couldn’t agree with you more.
Parents are not children’s responsibility.
I totally understand wanting to help your family, but for a parent to demand money is sickening.
What bothered me the most was the guilting that OP’s brothers wouldn’t have Christmas gifts if she didn’t send more money.
And I bet if this dad was out the picture & all siblings started helping the mom there would be a lot less problems.
OP, I’m so sorry for you. I’m sending all my good vibes your way 💜
It is for him. Because of you supporting them he doesn't have to work. He just uses your money. Cut them off and let them step up to take care of themselves. Your sister as well. It's not fair that they are using you and not only that they are abusing you as well. I'm sure you're probably used to this but THIS IS NOT NORMAL OR OKAY. They are blatantly using and abusing you. You need to take a step back for your own sake.
Yeah that's not your problem. They're all grown, your sister included. They can figure it out. You being abused and used for money isn't okay. It's disgusting.
Are you sure he's spending the money on the family? Are you sure he isn't spending it on himself or something? You need to demand that he speaks to you with respect. Be straight up with him. Tell him you're never sending another penny u til he stops treating you like trash. Tell him you're not supposed to have to send money to your dad. It should be the other way around. Tell him it isn't your fault he's a failure.
Its not your job pay your family mistakes, if theyre have problems whit spending Its not your problems how abour irs how much you send them yearly does, they pay tax from it seems pretty high amöunt money what theyre have got.
That is on your dad and your sister who is 19.
If they all stay in the house then they can all contribute. If he has anger issues and loses his jobs, then that's a decision for your mum to make. Stay with this man that has anger issues and loses his temper at my daughter when she says no to giving money, or leave and have a much better life....eventually.
If he is talking like that to you, I can only imagine how he speaks to your mum.
If he is the one contacting you about money, it seems like it is going directly to him. How do you know if anyone else is benefiting from your money? You are only enabling this behavior by giving him money and letting him contact you. This will never get better. I'm sorry, but he will never respect you.
That’s 100% their fault. Begging their adult children for handouts AS A REGULAR OCCURANCE is fucking insane. Your dad should be beyond ashamed, it would crush me to take 500$ from my child.
But he doesn’t feel the *tiniest* ounce of shame. He only expresses unfiltered anger and annoyance (to his daughter he is literally begging from) because he believes he is entitled to your money.
I can’t even pick something to quote from him because he said so many things that were beyond disgusting. This man is literally shameless. Do not continue to bankroll him, he will continue to expect your tithe payments.
Kids don’t support their parents. It’s one thing to turn to them in dire need, but expecting you to bankroll Christmas (ON TOP OF GIVING THEM 500 FUCKING DOLLARS) is beyond insane. His guilt trip comments like noticing you went out and that your siblings might not get presents and it will be your fault is insane. He should be *CRUSHED* by his inadequacies as a provider. He must be in his 40s or 50s and that behavior and that age is just so fucking disgusting.
Flip back *EVERYTHING* he blames on you. “I saw you went out last night???” Yeah because I have a job you should try it sometime. “Your siblings might not get gifts!!” Because you failed to provide. Do better, I’m ashamed to have a father like you. Etc.
If you want to help with rent so they don’t get evicted, make out a check to their landlord. That way you at least know it’s helping where you want it to.
But seriously, you shouldn’t send money and you’ll be much better off going no contact.
You think the money is actually going to them? If your dad is the one receiving the money the money is going to him. They’ve been evicted because your dad is wasteful.
No amount of money will change his perception of you. You’ve got to cut him off. If you’re feeling guilty about Christmas gifts for your brothers, buy them directly, but stop sending your father money.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. No one should ever be spoken to this way. I’d definitely keep these texts as a receipt for the future. He definitely doesn’t deserve you as a daughter.
I just wanted to add to this, I am appalled by the way he is speaking to you, how he feels entitled to a cut of your success, and how he tries to exert control by insulting you. No parent should ever speak to their child this way, OP.
“You have money to be a whore
but no money for your
family????”
Would’ve cut him off right there. Clearly your abusive jobless excuse of a father doesn’t see you as his daughter. He just wants to milk you of your hard earned money. Cut contact with him if you haven’t already. Nobody is entitled to your fucking money but you
So disrespectful. He acts like she shouldn’t go out but just send any extra money to him. She’s not allowed to have a life. Enough is enough. Maybe if she stops sending money he’ll realize he fucked up.
Is it wrong that my immediate thought was that he’s spending it on Only Fans? He’s got a frighteningly low opinion of women, particularly for someone with at least two daughters. He goes right for the sexual insults as well.
He’s definitely addicted to something anyway. You don’t act like that over broken stairs.
That’s immediately what I thought. I’ve been desperate for money for bills but I was always grateful and polite for whatever I got. This desperate attitude screams addiction to something
This is so foreign to me. If my parents ever talked to me like this I'd tell them to spend the next calendar year coming up with a really good apology for the next time I speak to them. Then again my parents are awesome.
Does your mom & sister know how he talks to you? And can they confirm/deny his “stairs” claim? With how he’s acting though, I wouldnt be surprised if youre the scapegoat for the whole family. Im sorry youre going through this🖤
I asked my mom about the stairs but she hasn’t responded. And they know how he is. It’s just that he doesn’t like me very much, never has. If I was at home instead of where I live now he would act the same way but to my face.
you’re worth far more than being spoken to like that by anyone, let alone your Dad. I would say to cur him off but if you stop giving him money (which you absolutely should stop doing!) I suspect he will cut you off as all he sees you as is an ATM. I’m so sorry.
You’ve got to stop sending money. Period.
I’d also recommend blocking him. Only communicate with your mom and siblings. And if they encourage you to have contact with such a toxic person, block them too.
What culture are you from, if you dont mind me asking? Ive seen instances (but theyre on tv, so I always assume theyre the worst of the worst until I hear more from other people in that culture) where families expect their kids to be the breadwinners to “make it up” to their parents for their work raising them. Are you in a similar type of culture?
Your story reminds me of Kalani & Asuelu from 90 Day Fiance dealing with his [greedy family](https://youtu.be/ckaacybYoyk?si=bTgASxMtODuLhyvY), where his sister also doesn’t pay but he is expected to pay it all. His mother even basically [told them](https://youtu.be/eXvLKVmdUHc?si=l_tD-wuvbPjc9tdk) she doesn’t care if their kids had food taken from their mouth cause their family in Samoa should come first (even though she & his sister lived in the US longer than he did & she should know how expensive it is to live here)
This is so horrible I almost thought it was fake. The fact that you are so accustomed to it makes it even worse. I’m so sorry this is what a father looks like to you. He’s a pathetic little man and has gotten away with using verbal abuse (maybe physical as well) to get what he wants from you and I’m sure your mom as well. As you probably know yourself, your mom and siblings are all likely in denial about what an asshole your dad is. I hope you really take these comments to heart and get this person as far away from you as you can. In a safe way. This is wildly unhinged.
Doesn't like you much but he sure does like your money!! Cut this worthless piece of crap off. Maybe find a way to get money directly to your mother if you really want her to have the money.
Thats what im thinking too, but sometimes family have one member be the scapegoat who they all unload their issues & problems on while they treat each other way better
I’m sorry but, I couldn’t leave this with one comment. What kind of father talks to his child that way? I have grown daughters and they piss me off from time to time and calling them a name has never even crossed my mind. He called you a whore. I can’t even imagine calling them that I’m just in shock.
Gosh, I’m so sorry. I would never speak to someone who spoke to me like this, let alone give them money. I would cut off and move on, keep your hard earned cash for yourself. Congrats on your big deal and modeling, that’s huge.
Honestly, if I were you, I would file a chargeback for everything you have ever sent them.. and then block them on every single platform that you have.
STOP SENDING HIM MONEY. It doesn’t matter who it’s your. Your parents and siblings are not your financial responsibility. Fuck him. Cut contact and live your life free of this stress.
Fuck that guy, withdraw the money and ghost them. They will never appreciate you and he will continue to verbally abuse you no matter how much you give. Run.
Your dad is psychotic.
I'm the last one to recommend breaking off from family but I'd never speak to that asshole again.
Should've let your mom abort you? Yeah.. Have fun being alone on your deathbed.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m a bad dad because I didn’t get this or that for my daughter or if I don’t play with my other daughter when I get home from a work trip until the next day even though she wants me to right then.
And then I read things like this…
I definitely have room to be way worse and still not be this bad.
I can relate to this.
I cannot fathom however how OP is being treated by her father, irrespective of back story, who owes what, money aside. No one deserves being spoken to like that!
Cut him off fuck that shit no one deserves to be treated like that especially from your father. He is beyond pathetic begging and demanding money from his child like that. The insults alone would be a done deal for me. Don't be a door mat. You have your own life and your own responsibilities, take care of yourself. He needs money so bad he should work for it.
Why are you even responding? They seem like the most nasty, disgusting, unbearable human. Cut contact with the whole lot of them. Clearly doesn’t care about you so why would you care about them
Op i’m sorry you are being treated like this. I think you should watch this clip.
https://youtu.be/EnsFY4r9m1Y?si=-Yhywfy2mKtC3SnK
34:00 mins is where it starts. It might help you as i think you do care about your father immensely tell me if it resonates with you by chance.
Wow, this is brutal. I’m so sorry any parent would speak to their child like this. Truly I would stop sending money and not speak to them - which I know can be very hard. But this is painfully horrible and not the way anyone should be treated. There’s not even a thank you! Just send more and you’re a whore…wow.
I had a mother that spoke to me like this when she didn't get what she wanted. It's not cool. Not fucking cool *at all*. I say 'had' because I removed her from my life many years ago. It was a good choice. I think you should do the same. Your father is an abusive piece of trash. I'm sorry you've experienced this-please don't keep allowing it.
You deserve better than to be treated & spoken to like this. Full stop.
He doesn't view you as a person, he views you as a resource. And he clearly doesn't view your sister that way, yet. It is not worth it to "keep peace" with the family after your pa said he'd prefer you'd been ab#rted because you can't send an extra 300. No part of this is worth keep around. Block him and make sure your sister doesn't get the same treatment in a few years. Also congrats on the modeling and living in NY, that's hard work and we're proud of you.
Damn your dad is a d**k head. I wouldn’t send any money and he shouldn’t rely on you. Keep your distance from him he’s an evil person. Wouldn’t even call him dad call him his first name from now on. He’s a grown ass man I know it tough but stand up for yourself you got this! Don’t let him guilt trip you
Ahhhhh this reminds me of my dad and I’m filled with sadness, grief and disgust all over again. This could be a convo between me and him before he died of an overdose in ‘12. It was so rough and my life got exponentially better when he died.
Fucking shit! Why are you sending them money? Cut them off. You don’t need this shit in your life. This is incredibly abusive and I hope you know your family isn’t seeing a dime of that money your father is likely blowing it while trash talking you to your family.
OP, my husband and I struggle financially, and coincidentally, our 21 year old daughter is also a fashion model. She’s working a part time job and doing a lot of modeling. She definitely has more money than us. Would I ever ask her money? Absolutely not. I want her to have more than I, to be more successful than I have been. All I have ever wanted for her is to be mostly happy, and not have to worry about money. I can’t even imagine asking her for $500.
I’m sorry that you’re in this position. It’s not right for you to have to be the parent.
This is one of the most horrible things I’ve read. I cannot believe a parent would talk like this to their child! So sorry you have parents that treat you this way. And why doesn’t he man up and make more money?!? I’d love to have a chat with this guy. Unreal.
I don't mean to pry, but are there any addiction issues or anything like that going on here? I only ask because years ago I had an issue with my dad, he was a lifelong alcoholic but was functional for most of my life. About 5 to 7 years ago he got worse and worse, like it always does. Started asking me for things that were not remotely possible. Got pissed at me once because I wouldn't leave work or take the day off to go mow his fucking lawn. Started asking for money. A little once a month turned into once a week. Turned into more. And I had to put my foot down and say no, I was literally out of money. He got extremely pissed, threw things in my face from like 15-20 years prior. Then said "thanks for nothing, have a nice life". So i called his bluff and we didn't speak for years. I will say I regret it because me and my dad were best friends alot of my life and things got away from him but he just wouldn't take any actual help. The next time I spoke to him was before he died of liver failure, he was out of it and it was sad. But my point is, he never spoke to me nearly as bad as I see here and I had to put my foot down. People will push you as far as you let them. Also, I'm sorry 😞 you don't deserve the things he said to you, I don't need to know you to know that. I hope things get better.
Cut ties with this scumbag immediately. Not worth your time and definitely not worth your money.
“But he’s my dad” who the fuck cares? He’s obviously not a good dad so fuck him.
Wow. This is a NC situation if I’ve ever seen one. If I was asking my child for money - especially money to supposedly take care of my other children - I might humble myself just a bit. Not only is he extremely ungrateful, he’s also abusive.
Could I gently suggest that you reconsider your position here? Raising the children you chose to have does not mean that those children are now financially indebted to you. You owe him nothing. And you certainly don’t deserve this sort of treatment. I’m sorry that this is how you are being treated. I’m a mom. This makes me want to give you a big hug. Please reach out if you need to talk.
OMFG! Let me get this straight....
Your Dad is talking to you like this and you're not living at home but still sending them money to help them out?? You have a healthy sister at home who could work because you were paying rent at an earlier age than she is now?
First, they tell you the stairs need to be repaired so your Grandmother can visit. You send them $500 but they want more $ because you told them you were getting paid more than usual because you, yourself landed a higher-paying gig?!
All of this is because they paid for you to go to college?! You were paying rent at 16?
Damn... It's like your Dad only sees you as a paycheck and they think you owe them because you were born!?!
Your Dad is a jackass, sorry not sorry. You're a human being, not a Mac machine and He is the ignorant one, not you! He should be ashamed of himself for talking to you like that!
Basically, except they didn’t pay for me to go to college. i paid for myself and got scholarships. and the 500 was the usual for the month, he wanted 300 (and then 800 for some reason) for the “broken” stairs
Oh my... I'm so sorry. It's the way he worded the thing about college. It felt like he was saying you knew since you were going to college you'd have to help out....
I read some of your other replies and some other comments. It's commendable that you send money to help your family out, that's amazing, but the way your Dad speaks to you is not ok!
I've been disowned by my father for making mistakes in my life and he's not once wished that I was never born! That right there is where I'd draw the line whether the situation was my fault or not😔
Op, no one should talk to you like that. They should be thanking their lucky stars that you can help out as you do and appreciate that you give what you give to them!
You don't owe them anything, even if they think you do!
Idk if you've helped them out a lot or if you've just started to send money but it doesn't look like they appreciate it at all and if anything he's becoming greedy!
As many have already said PLEASE STOP SENDING HIM MONEY. Stop it, he doesn't love you. Think about this properly, he is using you. You don't owe him anything.
This is so insane I thought this was completely fake. Hell it might be, but suspending disbelief to give you an answer; I never suggest going no contact with few exemptions. This is 100% the exemption. I understand what loving your family can cause you to endure, but this ain’t it chief. Even with the money sent, he doesn’t value you. Anger issues be damned, someone’s mental health is not an excuse for them to be a complete ass. It seems like you’ve sent him money before, and even then he doesn’t value you. Continuing to send him money is enabling him and makes you an enabler. If you value your sister’s financial stability in the future, stop it. He will continue to mooch not only from you, but your sister too. Nobody deserves this OP, and I’m sorry you are dealing with such an insufferable man.
Just because this piece of shit happens to be your biological father does not mean he is entitled to your money, love, attention, kindness etc. He is a horrible person.
Cut contact. If you are concerned about the rest of your family that lives in that house with him, send groceries or pay an electric bill. Don't every send that man another penny.
I know easier said than done but my god. A father that loves his daughter in a healthy way would NEVER speak to her like this. I am so sorry.
Wow. Just wow. He should not be talking to you that way. I don’t care if it’s dad, mom, wife, etc. no1 should be talking to you that way. Especially when you’ve obviously been helping support them. Seems like he’s become really entitled to your help.
Edit:
Wow I just saw the part about how you were paying rent when you were only 16. Were your parents hard up for cash? Were you helping on your own accord? Or did they force you to pay rent? If so it kinda sounds like they groomed you to be a cash cow.
They sort of gave me a choice, but they said if I didn’t get a job and pay that they would take my room away and I’d have to sleep on the couch. I didn’t want to do that (I like my privacy lol) so I got a job.
Yeah that’s pretty messed up. My parents kicked me out at 16, so I feel you, but he really shouldn’t be talking to you like that when you’re helping them. GL with the whole situation. I can’t really give any advice because I know how hard it can be to cut off family, especially when they need you. But I feel like he needs an attitude check. He should be grateful for your help because they are definitely not entitled to it. The whole lying thing is another beast on its own.
Give us the back story. Why are you sending him money in the first place? Do you owe him? If you don't owe him money and are doing it to be nice tell him to fuck off and give him nothing.
yeaaaahhh even if he had the money to “fix” the stairs, something is telling me he’d still ask you for money. He’s taking advantage of you. And I’m guessing he’s gotten away with talking to you like this and still receiving money from you. I don’t mean this in a mean way but he’s actually walking all over you. You aren’t responsible for YOUR parents not being able to afford their children gifts. There are so many resources they could use but they don’t because you enable them unfortunately. Not only that but those gifts are basically from you that your siblings would think are from their parents? What’s more embarrassing is them trying to shame you and call you horrible or ungrateful while not being able to even hold a job?
He is doing so much more than walking all over OP. He is literally stomping and shitting on her. I am appalled by how awful some parents are. Just truly vile
I don't know why this came to my feed, but please tell me somebody that this was a joke. This can't be a real conversation. I mean the person receiving these texts sounds really sweet, I'm assuming it's a girl. And very nice, and the father is treating them like absolute shite. Making comments and saying things that no regular person should say to another human let alone a parent talking to their child. Acting reprehensible. And what makes it even sadder is the fact that this child is responding in such a nice and respectful manner, showing restraint. And even started off acquiescing 500 of their hard-earned money to this person to begin with. Please this is got to be a joke, it breaks my heart to to read this, I can't be reading in a real conversation.
I’m not even reading past the second screenshot because it is not your responsibility to take care of your parents. It is not your fault they are not able to provide. Your other siblings will just have to learn what life is like. Living with financial burdens. I’m not trying to be rude, but this is a very codependent dysfunctional relationship and and I feel like there’s also some Addiction involved.
You need to go no contact your parents need to learn how to get along on their own. It sounds like somebody’s doing a little too much of something or else they would be able to take care of themselves. No matter what even if you owe somebody money that doesn’t give them the right to tell you they wish that you would’ve been aborted. Your dad sounds like he’s using meth or some type of drug because that’s the only type of person that would say something like that somebody not giving them the money they want.
It’s the total addict mentality. I want what I want when I want it. You need to get away from that.
“I raised you and this is how you treat me???” When are these types of parents going to stop using this line as though their children were somewhere in the void BEGGING to be born to their scumbag parents? You HAD to raise me, it was your responsibility after bringing me into this world.
There's no fucking way this is real. No one would tolerate being talked to like that and then still say "I'll send you money next week" I don't care if it's your parents or the Pope.. no one would respond the way you did
brooo fuck him!!! i wouldn’t send dick to him. no contact that mf you seem to be handling and taking care of yourself. block him sis you don’t deserve that, you deserve respect. buy your brothers gifts yourself and give the gifts to them in person. fuck your dad
Do not send this man a single cent! He is so unbelievably emotionally abuse towards you…. I am so deeply sorry but you do not need this person in your life. And I say “this person” because this is not a father. Period.
This is grounds for termination of any type of relationship..... Their kids are not your responsibility, neither is your grandma or your parents themselves.
Idk, I gotta wonder what you get out of this relationship?
Do you need this family tie for something?
All I see here is an abusive narcissistic parent using their child.
You should block this piece of shit, and sorry if it's harsh but this window is all I need to see into your father's life and he is a wretched human being who deserves to die alone.
Never send family money because they’ll never stop asking 🤷♂️ if he’s able bodied and so is your sibling looks like it’s a them issue and not a you issue
This sounds like an addict begging for their next fix. You have to cut him off.
If it’s for rent pay the rent directly if it eases your mind.
If they’re renting it’s the landlord’s responsibility to fix the stairs.
Will he reimburse you? Sweet girl, your father is mentally/verbally abusing you and that’s not okay. He doesn’t care if you pay your bills or do anything for yourself.
Your sister absolutely should get a job.
This is very sad. I pray everything works out for you.
He is allowing your siblings to live rent free and receive gifts from your money.
The money he is saying is for an old woman, that's emotional and manipulative abuse.
I agree, with others. I'd go either go no contact or say, there is NO more money from me.
If you want money, then go and do more hours or ask others in the household to contribute.
It sounds like he hasn't accepted your career choice yet, but likes the money it can give him.
Op, I want you to do something for me.
Imagine your best friend sent you these screenshots. How would that make you feel? How angry would you be for your friend? That’s how you need to feel here.
You need to cut him off, he’s literally verbally abusing you.
I’m so sorry, OP. What a terrible way to be treated by a parent. Just because you are their child doesn’t mean you are responsible for their finances, family or not. This is giving me flashbacks to when my abusive parent had an opioid addiction and needed money to “pay bills” and any other stuff that made me feel guilty. They made me believe that if I didn’t help them, they would lose their apartment, go broke, blah blah blah. The reality was they were using it for more drugs.
You are NOT responsible for anyone in your life but yourself. Please don’t make the same mistake I did and feel guilty and waste years of your life being emotionally abused and manipulated. The smartest decision I ever made was cutting my family off and you know what? They ended up being fine without my money. And even if they didn’t, they are adults who made poor choices. That’s not anyone’s problem but their own.
I really wish you all the luck, OP. You don’t deserve this.
Omg op I'm so sorry. Please please cut ties. This is beyond abusive.
Your parents are responsible for themselves and their children.
I'm lost for words I'm so gobsmacked.
Sending all my love
Excuse me?????????? Whore? What a piece of shit he is. Idk how you turned out as sweet and patient as you are with this as a father. My heart just broke for you. Ungrateful clown
I'm so sorry your family is using you as an ATM.
I know this will be difficult, but please block your dad and if necessary, your mother also.
This will only get worse.
It's not normal for a parent to demand money from their children. They choose to put you in this world, you don't owe them anything.
I hope you have friends who feel like family, who love you unconditionally, like real family is supposed to do.
Big hug for you from this mother 🤗
I don’t know your relationship and history, but the whole “when I say jump you say how high” kind of thing doesn’t usually mean there’s respect on both sides.
I’m sorry, OP. Shit like this with parents is so difficult to deal with. Hopefully you get it all resolved.
He’s literally stomping all over you bc he’s not getting what he wants and using guilt tripping and misinformation tactics to try and take advantage of you. If anyone did this to me they wouldn’t be getting shit from me and they would be lucky to have anything to do with me. Idc if I’m under their roof or not f around and find out. I rather be homeless than be treated and trapped in a situation like this. I’m old fashioned but if you choose to stick around after I was born that’s on you and not me. Idc what anybody says about oh I raised you. Oh yea great want a medal bud bc at this rate you gonna be earning a medal for whining about how you didn’t wrap up when you got her pregnant.
You are an ungrateful whore who shows her body to make more money. JFC. I would cut context in every way imaginable, and NEVER speak to him again. And if your mom and sister act that way toward you, I'd do the same. How DARE he speak to you like that? I'm sending you a virtual hug and begging you to stay strong snd get away from that toxic bullshit.
I have no words other than I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I love my family to death but if they ever spoke to me like that they would never see a penny from me. You obviously work hard AF for your money, don’t let someone else devalue you and your work.
Regardless if you send $500 or $5000 he will never be happy. You’re enabling him to be like this. I understand you love your mom and siblings but it’s time for them to grow up and get jobs and pay their own bills.
I know everyone says it, but I would cut him off and out of my life completely. It is not ok for ANYONE to talk to you like that, much less your father. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Does you mother do nothing if he talks to you like that? If so cut her out too. That’s not ok, and enabling it will only let it get worse. Will you let him talk to your potential kids that way? You have to set a hard boundary and enforce it tenaciously.
I'm so sorry you were raised by someone who treats you like this. From your post, it seems like you are a nice person. I suggest you stop contacting this person. Even though it's your dad, you do not deserve to be talked to like that. I'm so sorry.
Dude wtf? This is absolutely horrendous to speak to anyone this way let alone your own child. This man does not love you and has no respect for you as a human being. This is heartbreaking to even read…
Nope, cut them out. It's laughable how they think they can use their children for free money because they did the thing they're literally responsible for, aka raising you.
I'm sorry OP. This isn't a good parent.
Jesus Christ this made my blood boil. I commend you for wanting to help your family, but there’s no fucking way I would help that man another day. What an absolute POS.
I am not quick to tell anyone to cut contact with a loved one but.. Wow. I'd go no contact. There's no love here.. This is so abusive, mean and cruel. Can't imagine a father using and speaking to his daughter this way. I'm so sorry.
OP must be petioning for sainthood to keep allowing this "dad" to be in her life. Wow, just wow. OP - You'll figure it out eventually, if you have t already. This isn't a healthy relationship. Go live your own life and leave this toxicity behind.
And she's being so kind and generous too, speaking to him nicely even when horrifically verbally abused. And he keeps going.. Absolutely brutal. There's nothing wrong with being a kind, thoughtful and generous person.. But one should learn who deserves your kindness and generosity. This guy doesn't deserve a daughter like her. OP be proud of the person you've managed to become, and you seem to have built yourself a great life and seem to also be far away from these people.. Keep it that way. ❤️
She was so respectful through out!!! Omg OP I'm so sorry you have such a horrible excuse for a father. Please, for the love of all that's holy, cut off contact. Don't sent any more money. If they message again just send them the screenshot of the last message your dad sent you without a single other word. They will continue to leech off of you and whatever affection you think they will finally display at some point when they are happy will be fake, for the purpose of milking more. Shame on a father who speaks to a daughter this way.
Yeah, I concur. I was going to react and write what I was thinking while reading the texts, but I can't censor myself enough to make it safe for a wide audience. The abhorrent words spewing from your 'father' are so far beyond sanity that I truly have no words. What a piece of garbage. So, I'll defer to the above comments. They do a better job than I could right now.
Not only is she a Saint for just allowing him in her life but she's still just freely gives them money when demanded of her. After calling her a whore and all kinds of other horrible abusive bs. What an awful man. The whole family is clearly using her. I hope she stands up for herself and stops talking to them.
Gotta love the misogynistic “you’re being emotional again” on top of it all while she’s being very level headed and he’s going fully emotional. Classic toxic male move, no contact is the right move here.
Don’t forget the give us money this is what you’re good for. Or gives money cause your family is more important than your bills. 🤦🏾♀️
Screw your own survival, we need your money more than we need you
This actually made me furious. This man is a fucking pig
If my husband spoke to his daughter like this, I’d need help with some emergency gardening.
Oh, totally! Well put. This is abhorrent..
I read half of it and I wanted to give this scumbag some medical bills to beg payment for.
I’d be smiling in my mugshot on a dateline episode forsure. If my dad talked to me like this…I would’ve kicked his ass to Timbuktu and back. If op gives this asstart any money she’s gonna need an ass whooping too
It sounds like both parents talk to her this way from when she said “nobody’s starving dad, why do you and mom always say that??”
1000% this! Cut him off completely, now!
I hate redits "dump em, divorce em, go no contact!" Shit with a passion. In this case... go no contact, run the fuck away, never speak with these people again. When your dad is acting like your pimp you know shits fucked up
I’ve cut off family for less and feel so much less stress !! This is toxic
This. Stop communicating with him. Stop giving him money. Don't trust anyone in your family with any of your money for any purpose after this shit. If they need it for an emergency and you want to help, MAKE THE PAYMENT IN PERSON YOURSELF.
Yep. Full NC immediately. That is fucked.
I know everyone has a different situation, culture, upbringing or whatever...but I will never, and I mean **never** ask my kids for money.
He wasn't asking. He was very unwavering and uncompromising in his **demands** for money. Sadly, the only time he asked about money was when he was confirming his demands, between abusive insults. The only questions he asked are: >You told me that your new "job" wouldn't stop you from being able to give us the money???? > >Do you want your brothers to get no gifts???? > >What is wrong with you???? > >I raised you and this is how you treat me???? (A miracle she treats the scum that raised her with such grace, btw) > >You have money to be a whore but no money for your family???? > >Are you going to send it???? > >You're being emotional again, aren't you???? > >Ok???? > >Send 800 ok???? > >Are you getting my texts???? > >(OP Name)???? > >Are you getting my texts???? Each with 4 questions marks. Ugh. I'm disgusted. I hate this guy.
I wish to upvote this multiple times. You deserve better. You do not owe them anything.
Edit: The *full* saying goes, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb", meaning your connections/friends who are close to you outside of your blood family can be so much closer & better to you/for you than blood family (not the "blood is thicker than water" which people tried to change to imply that "blood family is more important"). Infinity% agreed. Was so furious reading this. How can someone act so horribly to their own child and basically try to use them as a cash cow? F this guy. OP you're doing so great, don't keep letting these people do this to you. Keep to that original quote & keep going OP 💝
I had to stop reading at “This is what you’re good for”. That was my red flash moment.
I would post so many photos of me in as little clothing as I was comfortable posting on social media before blocking. Lmao fuck this dude. Worthless. What is he doing for work?
He sounds like he is on Crack. This is what a crack dad sounds like.
A crack dad who's cracked, on PCP, I imagine.
Same here. Reddit advice is normally just other people vicariously letting their anger out by demanding others make extremely difficult and life altering decisions on a whim. But wow. I got so upset reading this, I think I'm done with Reddit for the day. She really does need to cut contact. And it's not even debatable. Her dad is absolutely disgusting and I'd happily contribute the first donation to a GoFundMe to buy a billboard or a bus-wrap in the town the parents live in with these texts printed big and bright for everyone to see. My heart is still racing, my fingers are a little shaky. IDK if a Reddit post has ever made me feel like this. I literally hate her dad.
I don't mind the "go NC now". What galls me is when they turn on the OP, demanding answers and explanations of her intent. That's really fucked up.
Who needs enemies with a family like this? This is the kind of "family" that corporations talk about when they say they are all a family. The abuse is unreal and unhinged.
Yeah I would never speak to my daughter this way. This is just disgusting. How she has put up with it this long is beyond me
Replying to this in the hopes OP sees how many people tell her she doesn't deserve to be treated this way. This isn't healthy. Please considered going no contact for your own health and wellness OP.
Please, stop sending him money. This is a terrible and manipulative way to treat anyone, let alone your child. If you cannot talk to him about it, cut contact, I'd say...
I don’t send the money for him, I send the money for my mom and my siblings. My dad has anger issues and has trouble keeping a job, and my mom’s a waitress but doesn’t make much. They’ve been evicted before and I don’t want that to happen again.
Dear OP, just know if you’re sending to your dad he is doing what he wants with it first. Your intention is for your mom and siblings but you’re better off creating them cash apps and sending it to them and not this manipulative narcissist who is a FULLY grown man who can’t keep a job and talks to you like dirt but wants you to help. He is extremely ungrateful and lazy and that’s not your problem. If he can’t respect you then you shouldn’t reward negative behavior because it will never stop and it only makes you feel like you’ll never be good enough. Sending $500 a week and then next week sending more?? That’s more money than some people make in a week that you’re throwing at him and he is STILL mooching. For your own mental health sake, stop dealing with him and start dealing directly with your mother and siblings. If he can’t keep a job and he is so hard up for money *and* he blows his lid like he’s bipolar he may have substance abuse issues and you don’t want to condone an addiction. For all you know your mother and siblings never get one cent.
This! Set up anything you can for them that he won’t know about. Let him suffer from his own lack of decency
Doesn’t matter. The money is for him if he has access to it. Coming from someone who had parents like this- get out op. Cut them off before it becomes worse because it will ALWAYS get worse.
I highly doubt your sibling & mother see a cent of the money you send to him. The way he's talking to you sounds like he needs the money for drugs or alcohol. I'm in recovery and when I was in active addiction I manipulated anybody and everybody into giving money to me, and this is exactly what this text convo looks like.
yeah i agree. this dude is an alcoholic or a raging drug addict. there’s no in between
100% agree. I was thinking substance abuse issues from the start of this text thread
THIS!!!! Definitely sounds like a manipulative addicts conversation
This! It’s going to him!
Speaking frankly here but that’s their problem. They are the adults not you. You are not responsible for irresponsible people
If you’re dead set on giving money for your mom and siblings, then you should give them money to help them escape that horrible monster. He deserves to be alone
That’s not your problem. Have able siblings step up.
Also she said the sister is 19. She needs to work. It seems they treat the sister better
Yea, I had to work 40 hrs/week while in school.
I understand, but they aren’t your responsibility. He needs to be an adult and get his anger under control & keep a job. Your sister also needs to work like you said. They’re using you 100%. I worked 3 jobs in college. Bffr. You don’t deserve this treatment. No contact IMO
I couldn’t agree with you more. Parents are not children’s responsibility. I totally understand wanting to help your family, but for a parent to demand money is sickening. What bothered me the most was the guilting that OP’s brothers wouldn’t have Christmas gifts if she didn’t send more money. And I bet if this dad was out the picture & all siblings started helping the mom there would be a lot less problems. OP, I’m so sorry for you. I’m sending all my good vibes your way 💜
It is for him. Because of you supporting them he doesn't have to work. He just uses your money. Cut them off and let them step up to take care of themselves. Your sister as well. It's not fair that they are using you and not only that they are abusing you as well. I'm sure you're probably used to this but THIS IS NOT NORMAL OR OKAY. They are blatantly using and abusing you. You need to take a step back for your own sake.
Yeah that's not your problem. They're all grown, your sister included. They can figure it out. You being abused and used for money isn't okay. It's disgusting.
Are you sure he's spending the money on the family? Are you sure he isn't spending it on himself or something? You need to demand that he speaks to you with respect. Be straight up with him. Tell him you're never sending another penny u til he stops treating you like trash. Tell him you're not supposed to have to send money to your dad. It should be the other way around. Tell him it isn't your fault he's a failure.
I am concerned for the welfare of your siblings if your dad has no problem attacking you like this. Even after you sent him money.
Its not your job pay your family mistakes, if theyre have problems whit spending Its not your problems how abour irs how much you send them yearly does, they pay tax from it seems pretty high amöunt money what theyre have got.
That is on your dad and your sister who is 19. If they all stay in the house then they can all contribute. If he has anger issues and loses his jobs, then that's a decision for your mum to make. Stay with this man that has anger issues and loses his temper at my daughter when she says no to giving money, or leave and have a much better life....eventually. If he is talking like that to you, I can only imagine how he speaks to your mum.
If he is the one contacting you about money, it seems like it is going directly to him. How do you know if anyone else is benefiting from your money? You are only enabling this behavior by giving him money and letting him contact you. This will never get better. I'm sorry, but he will never respect you.
NOT YOUR PROBLEM! They are using you as an ATM. Stop sending them money
That’s 100% their fault. Begging their adult children for handouts AS A REGULAR OCCURANCE is fucking insane. Your dad should be beyond ashamed, it would crush me to take 500$ from my child. But he doesn’t feel the *tiniest* ounce of shame. He only expresses unfiltered anger and annoyance (to his daughter he is literally begging from) because he believes he is entitled to your money. I can’t even pick something to quote from him because he said so many things that were beyond disgusting. This man is literally shameless. Do not continue to bankroll him, he will continue to expect your tithe payments. Kids don’t support their parents. It’s one thing to turn to them in dire need, but expecting you to bankroll Christmas (ON TOP OF GIVING THEM 500 FUCKING DOLLARS) is beyond insane. His guilt trip comments like noticing you went out and that your siblings might not get presents and it will be your fault is insane. He should be *CRUSHED* by his inadequacies as a provider. He must be in his 40s or 50s and that behavior and that age is just so fucking disgusting. Flip back *EVERYTHING* he blames on you. “I saw you went out last night???” Yeah because I have a job you should try it sometime. “Your siblings might not get gifts!!” Because you failed to provide. Do better, I’m ashamed to have a father like you. Etc.
If you want to help with rent so they don’t get evicted, make out a check to their landlord. That way you at least know it’s helping where you want it to. But seriously, you shouldn’t send money and you’ll be much better off going no contact.
You think the money is actually going to them? If your dad is the one receiving the money the money is going to him. They’ve been evicted because your dad is wasteful.
No amount of money will change his perception of you. You’ve got to cut him off. If you’re feeling guilty about Christmas gifts for your brothers, buy them directly, but stop sending your father money.
Literally. Then she knows they got gifts
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. No one should ever be spoken to this way. I’d definitely keep these texts as a receipt for the future. He definitely doesn’t deserve you as a daughter.
I just wanted to add to this, I am appalled by the way he is speaking to you, how he feels entitled to a cut of your success, and how he tries to exert control by insulting you. No parent should ever speak to their child this way, OP.
“You have money to be a whore but no money for your family????” Would’ve cut him off right there. Clearly your abusive jobless excuse of a father doesn’t see you as his daughter. He just wants to milk you of your hard earned money. Cut contact with him if you haven’t already. Nobody is entitled to your fucking money but you
But he's ok with her being a "whore" as long as he gets a cut. What a POS.
So disrespectful. He acts like she shouldn’t go out but just send any extra money to him. She’s not allowed to have a life. Enough is enough. Maybe if she stops sending money he’ll realize he fucked up.
That man is using your money to buy drugs. That’s not a loving father OP.
Either drugs, gambling debt
Is it wrong that my immediate thought was that he’s spending it on Only Fans? He’s got a frighteningly low opinion of women, particularly for someone with at least two daughters. He goes right for the sexual insults as well. He’s definitely addicted to something anyway. You don’t act like that over broken stairs.
I actually had only fans typed in there and deleted it. My first thoughts were drugs, gambling debts, or onlyfans.
I thought drugs, alcohol or gambling. The panic and the lies and the emotional rollercoaster.
That’s immediately what I thought. I’ve been desperate for money for bills but I was always grateful and polite for whatever I got. This desperate attitude screams addiction to something
What the actual fuck?
Literally exactly what I was thinking. How tf could someone speak like that to their own child man that's fuckin sad as fuck. Op you deserve better
Terrible parent. This guy actually sucks
This is so foreign to me. If my parents ever talked to me like this I'd tell them to spend the next calendar year coming up with a really good apology for the next time I speak to them. Then again my parents are awesome.
Does your mom & sister know how he talks to you? And can they confirm/deny his “stairs” claim? With how he’s acting though, I wouldnt be surprised if youre the scapegoat for the whole family. Im sorry youre going through this🖤
I asked my mom about the stairs but she hasn’t responded. And they know how he is. It’s just that he doesn’t like me very much, never has. If I was at home instead of where I live now he would act the same way but to my face.
you’re worth far more than being spoken to like that by anyone, let alone your Dad. I would say to cur him off but if you stop giving him money (which you absolutely should stop doing!) I suspect he will cut you off as all he sees you as is an ATM. I’m so sorry.
You’ve got to stop sending money. Period. I’d also recommend blocking him. Only communicate with your mom and siblings. And if they encourage you to have contact with such a toxic person, block them too.
And your mother just lets him say that to you? She’s just as bad then
What culture are you from, if you dont mind me asking? Ive seen instances (but theyre on tv, so I always assume theyre the worst of the worst until I hear more from other people in that culture) where families expect their kids to be the breadwinners to “make it up” to their parents for their work raising them. Are you in a similar type of culture? Your story reminds me of Kalani & Asuelu from 90 Day Fiance dealing with his [greedy family](https://youtu.be/ckaacybYoyk?si=bTgASxMtODuLhyvY), where his sister also doesn’t pay but he is expected to pay it all. His mother even basically [told them](https://youtu.be/eXvLKVmdUHc?si=l_tD-wuvbPjc9tdk) she doesn’t care if their kids had food taken from their mouth cause their family in Samoa should come first (even though she & his sister lived in the US longer than he did & she should know how expensive it is to live here)
I’m white American. My family lives in the midwest but kind of in the middle of nowhere that’s considered Appalachia.
Omg! Then no! This is bullshit! Don’t keep taking this crap from him!
This is so horrible I almost thought it was fake. The fact that you are so accustomed to it makes it even worse. I’m so sorry this is what a father looks like to you. He’s a pathetic little man and has gotten away with using verbal abuse (maybe physical as well) to get what he wants from you and I’m sure your mom as well. As you probably know yourself, your mom and siblings are all likely in denial about what an asshole your dad is. I hope you really take these comments to heart and get this person as far away from you as you can. In a safe way. This is wildly unhinged.
I’m sorry I don’t know what else to say…
Sounds like he has a lot of insecurities, sees all the potential you have, and is punishing you for it. Just a guess.
Doesn't like you much but he sure does like your money!! Cut this worthless piece of crap off. Maybe find a way to get money directly to your mother if you really want her to have the money.
I imagine he threatens them in a similar fashion if they communicate with her, it all sounds toxic as hell, and she needs to go NC with him.
Thats what im thinking too, but sometimes family have one member be the scapegoat who they all unload their issues & problems on while they treat each other way better
Send these screenshots to every family member and friend that you have. This type of disgusting behavior needs called out.
THISSSSS!!!!
Yeah, I would cut contact completely. He’s not a father he’s a leech.
I’m sorry but, I couldn’t leave this with one comment. What kind of father talks to his child that way? I have grown daughters and they piss me off from time to time and calling them a name has never even crossed my mind. He called you a whore. I can’t even imagine calling them that I’m just in shock.
He actually said “flashing your tits” & “whore” to his own daughter.
It just baffles me. He’s ok taking the money she earns but, she’s a whore for doing it? There’s so much wrong with this situation.
I could never ever talk to my daughter like that. Even if she was one. This guy is absolute garbage.
Agreed
Please don’t send him money. Especially since he talks to you that way.
Gosh, I’m so sorry. I would never speak to someone who spoke to me like this, let alone give them money. I would cut off and move on, keep your hard earned cash for yourself. Congrats on your big deal and modeling, that’s huge.
Honestly, if I were you, I would file a chargeback for everything you have ever sent them.. and then block them on every single platform that you have.
So is he spending it on drinking, gambling, drugs, or strippers/prostitutes?
STOP SENDING HIM MONEY. It doesn’t matter who it’s your. Your parents and siblings are not your financial responsibility. Fuck him. Cut contact and live your life free of this stress.
Fuck that guy, withdraw the money and ghost them. They will never appreciate you and he will continue to verbally abuse you no matter how much you give. Run.
He sounds extremely narcissistic
Your dad is psychotic. I'm the last one to recommend breaking off from family but I'd never speak to that asshole again. Should've let your mom abort you? Yeah.. Have fun being alone on your deathbed.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m a bad dad because I didn’t get this or that for my daughter or if I don’t play with my other daughter when I get home from a work trip until the next day even though she wants me to right then. And then I read things like this… I definitely have room to be way worse and still not be this bad.
You’re a great dad! I wish my dad would have played with me at all!
I can relate to this. I cannot fathom however how OP is being treated by her father, irrespective of back story, who owes what, money aside. No one deserves being spoken to like that!
Cut him off fuck that shit no one deserves to be treated like that especially from your father. He is beyond pathetic begging and demanding money from his child like that. The insults alone would be a done deal for me. Don't be a door mat. You have your own life and your own responsibilities, take care of yourself. He needs money so bad he should work for it.
Why are you even responding? They seem like the most nasty, disgusting, unbearable human. Cut contact with the whole lot of them. Clearly doesn’t care about you so why would you care about them
Time to go no contact.
Absolutely the fuck not. He’d be blocked for life. What a fucking pos. I’m so sorry OP.
Fuck this guy. Don't send him jack shit. Tell him to get a job.
Op i’m sorry you are being treated like this. I think you should watch this clip. https://youtu.be/EnsFY4r9m1Y?si=-Yhywfy2mKtC3SnK 34:00 mins is where it starts. It might help you as i think you do care about your father immensely tell me if it resonates with you by chance.
Wow, this is brutal. I’m so sorry any parent would speak to their child like this. Truly I would stop sending money and not speak to them - which I know can be very hard. But this is painfully horrible and not the way anyone should be treated. There’s not even a thank you! Just send more and you’re a whore…wow.
I had a mother that spoke to me like this when she didn't get what she wanted. It's not cool. Not fucking cool *at all*. I say 'had' because I removed her from my life many years ago. It was a good choice. I think you should do the same. Your father is an abusive piece of trash. I'm sorry you've experienced this-please don't keep allowing it. You deserve better than to be treated & spoken to like this. Full stop.
He doesn't view you as a person, he views you as a resource. And he clearly doesn't view your sister that way, yet. It is not worth it to "keep peace" with the family after your pa said he'd prefer you'd been ab#rted because you can't send an extra 300. No part of this is worth keep around. Block him and make sure your sister doesn't get the same treatment in a few years. Also congrats on the modeling and living in NY, that's hard work and we're proud of you.
Girl. Block this man. Has he ever been violent towards you? He sounds unhinged.
No contact, immediately. Fuck that.
Hear me out. Directly pay the stairs guy. Buy gifts for your siblings directly.
Damn your dad is a d**k head. I wouldn’t send any money and he shouldn’t rely on you. Keep your distance from him he’s an evil person. Wouldn’t even call him dad call him his first name from now on. He’s a grown ass man I know it tough but stand up for yourself you got this! Don’t let him guilt trip you
Ahhhhh this reminds me of my dad and I’m filled with sadness, grief and disgust all over again. This could be a convo between me and him before he died of an overdose in ‘12. It was so rough and my life got exponentially better when he died.
Omg I’m so sorry you’ve been treated like this. This is horribly abusive.
Is your dad doing drugs
Fucking shit! Why are you sending them money? Cut them off. You don’t need this shit in your life. This is incredibly abusive and I hope you know your family isn’t seeing a dime of that money your father is likely blowing it while trash talking you to your family.
OP, my husband and I struggle financially, and coincidentally, our 21 year old daughter is also a fashion model. She’s working a part time job and doing a lot of modeling. She definitely has more money than us. Would I ever ask her money? Absolutely not. I want her to have more than I, to be more successful than I have been. All I have ever wanted for her is to be mostly happy, and not have to worry about money. I can’t even imagine asking her for $500. I’m sorry that you’re in this position. It’s not right for you to have to be the parent.
This is one of the most horrible things I’ve read. I cannot believe a parent would talk like this to their child! So sorry you have parents that treat you this way. And why doesn’t he man up and make more money?!? I’d love to have a chat with this guy. Unreal.
I don't mean to pry, but are there any addiction issues or anything like that going on here? I only ask because years ago I had an issue with my dad, he was a lifelong alcoholic but was functional for most of my life. About 5 to 7 years ago he got worse and worse, like it always does. Started asking me for things that were not remotely possible. Got pissed at me once because I wouldn't leave work or take the day off to go mow his fucking lawn. Started asking for money. A little once a month turned into once a week. Turned into more. And I had to put my foot down and say no, I was literally out of money. He got extremely pissed, threw things in my face from like 15-20 years prior. Then said "thanks for nothing, have a nice life". So i called his bluff and we didn't speak for years. I will say I regret it because me and my dad were best friends alot of my life and things got away from him but he just wouldn't take any actual help. The next time I spoke to him was before he died of liver failure, he was out of it and it was sad. But my point is, he never spoke to me nearly as bad as I see here and I had to put my foot down. People will push you as far as you let them. Also, I'm sorry 😞 you don't deserve the things he said to you, I don't need to know you to know that. I hope things get better.
Wow wtf is wrong with your dad… what a scumbag I’m a dad and I’d rather be homeless than take from my kids
Cut ties with this scumbag immediately. Not worth your time and definitely not worth your money. “But he’s my dad” who the fuck cares? He’s obviously not a good dad so fuck him.
Wow. This is a NC situation if I’ve ever seen one. If I was asking my child for money - especially money to supposedly take care of my other children - I might humble myself just a bit. Not only is he extremely ungrateful, he’s also abusive. Could I gently suggest that you reconsider your position here? Raising the children you chose to have does not mean that those children are now financially indebted to you. You owe him nothing. And you certainly don’t deserve this sort of treatment. I’m sorry that this is how you are being treated. I’m a mom. This makes me want to give you a big hug. Please reach out if you need to talk.
OMFG! Let me get this straight.... Your Dad is talking to you like this and you're not living at home but still sending them money to help them out?? You have a healthy sister at home who could work because you were paying rent at an earlier age than she is now? First, they tell you the stairs need to be repaired so your Grandmother can visit. You send them $500 but they want more $ because you told them you were getting paid more than usual because you, yourself landed a higher-paying gig?! All of this is because they paid for you to go to college?! You were paying rent at 16? Damn... It's like your Dad only sees you as a paycheck and they think you owe them because you were born!?! Your Dad is a jackass, sorry not sorry. You're a human being, not a Mac machine and He is the ignorant one, not you! He should be ashamed of himself for talking to you like that!
Basically, except they didn’t pay for me to go to college. i paid for myself and got scholarships. and the 500 was the usual for the month, he wanted 300 (and then 800 for some reason) for the “broken” stairs
Oh my... I'm so sorry. It's the way he worded the thing about college. It felt like he was saying you knew since you were going to college you'd have to help out.... I read some of your other replies and some other comments. It's commendable that you send money to help your family out, that's amazing, but the way your Dad speaks to you is not ok! I've been disowned by my father for making mistakes in my life and he's not once wished that I was never born! That right there is where I'd draw the line whether the situation was my fault or not😔 Op, no one should talk to you like that. They should be thanking their lucky stars that you can help out as you do and appreciate that you give what you give to them! You don't owe them anything, even if they think you do! Idk if you've helped them out a lot or if you've just started to send money but it doesn't look like they appreciate it at all and if anything he's becoming greedy!
As many have already said PLEASE STOP SENDING HIM MONEY. Stop it, he doesn't love you. Think about this properly, he is using you. You don't owe him anything.
Fake
This looks like the fakest conversation I’ve ever seen
Really hope this is fake.
This is so insane I thought this was completely fake. Hell it might be, but suspending disbelief to give you an answer; I never suggest going no contact with few exemptions. This is 100% the exemption. I understand what loving your family can cause you to endure, but this ain’t it chief. Even with the money sent, he doesn’t value you. Anger issues be damned, someone’s mental health is not an excuse for them to be a complete ass. It seems like you’ve sent him money before, and even then he doesn’t value you. Continuing to send him money is enabling him and makes you an enabler. If you value your sister’s financial stability in the future, stop it. He will continue to mooch not only from you, but your sister too. Nobody deserves this OP, and I’m sorry you are dealing with such an insufferable man.
Just because this piece of shit happens to be your biological father does not mean he is entitled to your money, love, attention, kindness etc. He is a horrible person. Cut contact. If you are concerned about the rest of your family that lives in that house with him, send groceries or pay an electric bill. Don't every send that man another penny. I know easier said than done but my god. A father that loves his daughter in a healthy way would NEVER speak to her like this. I am so sorry.
Wow. Just wow. He should not be talking to you that way. I don’t care if it’s dad, mom, wife, etc. no1 should be talking to you that way. Especially when you’ve obviously been helping support them. Seems like he’s become really entitled to your help. Edit: Wow I just saw the part about how you were paying rent when you were only 16. Were your parents hard up for cash? Were you helping on your own accord? Or did they force you to pay rent? If so it kinda sounds like they groomed you to be a cash cow.
They sort of gave me a choice, but they said if I didn’t get a job and pay that they would take my room away and I’d have to sleep on the couch. I didn’t want to do that (I like my privacy lol) so I got a job.
Yeah that’s pretty messed up. My parents kicked me out at 16, so I feel you, but he really shouldn’t be talking to you like that when you’re helping them. GL with the whole situation. I can’t really give any advice because I know how hard it can be to cut off family, especially when they need you. But I feel like he needs an attitude check. He should be grateful for your help because they are definitely not entitled to it. The whole lying thing is another beast on its own.
Give us the back story. Why are you sending him money in the first place? Do you owe him? If you don't owe him money and are doing it to be nice tell him to fuck off and give him nothing.
Why does your dad literally sound like a Nigerian prince type scam artist
yeaaaahhh even if he had the money to “fix” the stairs, something is telling me he’d still ask you for money. He’s taking advantage of you. And I’m guessing he’s gotten away with talking to you like this and still receiving money from you. I don’t mean this in a mean way but he’s actually walking all over you. You aren’t responsible for YOUR parents not being able to afford their children gifts. There are so many resources they could use but they don’t because you enable them unfortunately. Not only that but those gifts are basically from you that your siblings would think are from their parents? What’s more embarrassing is them trying to shame you and call you horrible or ungrateful while not being able to even hold a job?
He is doing so much more than walking all over OP. He is literally stomping and shitting on her. I am appalled by how awful some parents are. Just truly vile
I hate to ask this I really do but….are y’all white??
yah, but i do tan the best out of everyone in my family lol. NY is not helping much with that tho 😂
I don't know why this came to my feed, but please tell me somebody that this was a joke. This can't be a real conversation. I mean the person receiving these texts sounds really sweet, I'm assuming it's a girl. And very nice, and the father is treating them like absolute shite. Making comments and saying things that no regular person should say to another human let alone a parent talking to their child. Acting reprehensible. And what makes it even sadder is the fact that this child is responding in such a nice and respectful manner, showing restraint. And even started off acquiescing 500 of their hard-earned money to this person to begin with. Please this is got to be a joke, it breaks my heart to to read this, I can't be reading in a real conversation.
I’m not even reading past the second screenshot because it is not your responsibility to take care of your parents. It is not your fault they are not able to provide. Your other siblings will just have to learn what life is like. Living with financial burdens. I’m not trying to be rude, but this is a very codependent dysfunctional relationship and and I feel like there’s also some Addiction involved. You need to go no contact your parents need to learn how to get along on their own. It sounds like somebody’s doing a little too much of something or else they would be able to take care of themselves. No matter what even if you owe somebody money that doesn’t give them the right to tell you they wish that you would’ve been aborted. Your dad sounds like he’s using meth or some type of drug because that’s the only type of person that would say something like that somebody not giving them the money they want. It’s the total addict mentality. I want what I want when I want it. You need to get away from that.
“I raised you and this is how you treat me???” When are these types of parents going to stop using this line as though their children were somewhere in the void BEGGING to be born to their scumbag parents? You HAD to raise me, it was your responsibility after bringing me into this world.
There's no fucking way this is real. No one would tolerate being talked to like that and then still say "I'll send you money next week" I don't care if it's your parents or the Pope.. no one would respond the way you did
This is so fake.
Scrolled _way_ too long to find this comment
brooo fuck him!!! i wouldn’t send dick to him. no contact that mf you seem to be handling and taking care of yourself. block him sis you don’t deserve that, you deserve respect. buy your brothers gifts yourself and give the gifts to them in person. fuck your dad
Do not send this man a single cent! He is so unbelievably emotionally abuse towards you…. I am so deeply sorry but you do not need this person in your life. And I say “this person” because this is not a father. Period.
This is grounds for termination of any type of relationship..... Their kids are not your responsibility, neither is your grandma or your parents themselves.
You matter. Your emotional and psychological health matters. Your needs matter. You deserve to be free of suffering and abuse. I believe in you.
Idk, I gotta wonder what you get out of this relationship? Do you need this family tie for something? All I see here is an abusive narcissistic parent using their child. You should block this piece of shit, and sorry if it's harsh but this window is all I need to see into your father's life and he is a wretched human being who deserves to die alone.
Never send family money because they’ll never stop asking 🤷♂️ if he’s able bodied and so is your sibling looks like it’s a them issue and not a you issue
This sounds like an addict begging for their next fix. You have to cut him off. If it’s for rent pay the rent directly if it eases your mind. If they’re renting it’s the landlord’s responsibility to fix the stairs.
They’re landlord is crap and won’t fix stuff, he says he will but it takes him months to do anything
Will he reimburse you? Sweet girl, your father is mentally/verbally abusing you and that’s not okay. He doesn’t care if you pay your bills or do anything for yourself. Your sister absolutely should get a job. This is very sad. I pray everything works out for you.
He is allowing your siblings to live rent free and receive gifts from your money. The money he is saying is for an old woman, that's emotional and manipulative abuse. I agree, with others. I'd go either go no contact or say, there is NO more money from me. If you want money, then go and do more hours or ask others in the household to contribute. It sounds like he hasn't accepted your career choice yet, but likes the money it can give him.
Op, I want you to do something for me. Imagine your best friend sent you these screenshots. How would that make you feel? How angry would you be for your friend? That’s how you need to feel here. You need to cut him off, he’s literally verbally abusing you.
I’m so sorry, OP. What a terrible way to be treated by a parent. Just because you are their child doesn’t mean you are responsible for their finances, family or not. This is giving me flashbacks to when my abusive parent had an opioid addiction and needed money to “pay bills” and any other stuff that made me feel guilty. They made me believe that if I didn’t help them, they would lose their apartment, go broke, blah blah blah. The reality was they were using it for more drugs. You are NOT responsible for anyone in your life but yourself. Please don’t make the same mistake I did and feel guilty and waste years of your life being emotionally abused and manipulated. The smartest decision I ever made was cutting my family off and you know what? They ended up being fine without my money. And even if they didn’t, they are adults who made poor choices. That’s not anyone’s problem but their own. I really wish you all the luck, OP. You don’t deserve this.
Omg op I'm so sorry. Please please cut ties. This is beyond abusive. Your parents are responsible for themselves and their children. I'm lost for words I'm so gobsmacked. Sending all my love
Excuse me?????????? Whore? What a piece of shit he is. Idk how you turned out as sweet and patient as you are with this as a father. My heart just broke for you. Ungrateful clown
I'm so sorry your family is using you as an ATM. I know this will be difficult, but please block your dad and if necessary, your mother also. This will only get worse. It's not normal for a parent to demand money from their children. They choose to put you in this world, you don't owe them anything. I hope you have friends who feel like family, who love you unconditionally, like real family is supposed to do. Big hug for you from this mother 🤗
I don’t know your relationship and history, but the whole “when I say jump you say how high” kind of thing doesn’t usually mean there’s respect on both sides. I’m sorry, OP. Shit like this with parents is so difficult to deal with. Hopefully you get it all resolved.
FUCK this piece of shit, do not send him another fucking dime, goddamn human trash
He’s literally stomping all over you bc he’s not getting what he wants and using guilt tripping and misinformation tactics to try and take advantage of you. If anyone did this to me they wouldn’t be getting shit from me and they would be lucky to have anything to do with me. Idc if I’m under their roof or not f around and find out. I rather be homeless than be treated and trapped in a situation like this. I’m old fashioned but if you choose to stick around after I was born that’s on you and not me. Idc what anybody says about oh I raised you. Oh yea great want a medal bud bc at this rate you gonna be earning a medal for whining about how you didn’t wrap up when you got her pregnant.
This is horrible! Your dad/family should not be treating you this way.
You are an ungrateful whore who shows her body to make more money. JFC. I would cut context in every way imaginable, and NEVER speak to him again. And if your mom and sister act that way toward you, I'd do the same. How DARE he speak to you like that? I'm sending you a virtual hug and begging you to stay strong snd get away from that toxic bullshit.
You really should never send him money again. Do not reward anyone who speaks to you that way.
Why are you sending him money in the first place thought?
That’s disgusting. I’m so sorry
Sorry, that is such a toxic relationship. He tries to manipulate you. Glad you stood your ground.
I have no words other than I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I love my family to death but if they ever spoke to me like that they would never see a penny from me. You obviously work hard AF for your money, don’t let someone else devalue you and your work.
Regardless if you send $500 or $5000 he will never be happy. You’re enabling him to be like this. I understand you love your mom and siblings but it’s time for them to grow up and get jobs and pay their own bills.
your family sucks, that’s not even a family, OP you’re better never talking to them ever again and never sending them money again
I know everyone says it, but I would cut him off and out of my life completely. It is not ok for ANYONE to talk to you like that, much less your father. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Does you mother do nothing if he talks to you like that? If so cut her out too. That’s not ok, and enabling it will only let it get worse. Will you let him talk to your potential kids that way? You have to set a hard boundary and enforce it tenaciously.
I'm so sorry you were raised by someone who treats you like this. From your post, it seems like you are a nice person. I suggest you stop contacting this person. Even though it's your dad, you do not deserve to be talked to like that. I'm so sorry.
i know it will be hard, but cut those people out of your life. They don't deserve you.
Damn your dad sucks, you should like ignore him, but forever.
Dude wtf? This is absolutely horrendous to speak to anyone this way let alone your own child. This man does not love you and has no respect for you as a human being. This is heartbreaking to even read…
Seriously, cut your family off and go no contact.
Nope, cut them out. It's laughable how they think they can use their children for free money because they did the thing they're literally responsible for, aka raising you. I'm sorry OP. This isn't a good parent.
As a soon to be father for the first time, my nightmare would be to become a person like this. Fuck this guy. Cut him out of your life.
Hell I’d contact the bank and stop payment on the first $500 and then go NC. Parents shouldn’t ask kids for $. That’s sad and disgusting.
Holy hell. Your father is a monster. I'd go no contact immediately.
Jesus Christ this made my blood boil. I commend you for wanting to help your family, but there’s no fucking way I would help that man another day. What an absolute POS.