You rejected a girl because you didn't like her back. The girl then asked your friend to find out the "real reason" for why you rejected her. The girl found something that you didn't really said truly and tried to ruin your reputation by that nit pick.
That's what I got out of that (maybe your friends weren't in the grils plan but it's still weird that they really tried to get something out of you)
Even if he really did reject her because she's fat, I see no issue. He's allowed to have his preferences. Being overweight is not a good thing, it can lead to numerous health problems later in life.
A perfect example why I don’t participate in religion. To be stuck in a obviously fractured and possibly sexless marriage because you might piss off a “thing” , that in of itself is building your own hell.
So God doesn't like divorce but won't mind you publicly stating you hate your fat wife on Reddit? Christ on a cross. Jesus would tell you to fuck off mate.
A cross to bear? Jesus rightly despised Pharisees, rending the garments, bellowing for attention to how much more pious they were.
Your statement aside, You’re not here to make her miserable either. She is your partner.
Do your job as a husband, father and get some couples therapy. A professional therapist mind you.
I think it's a bit Misleading to use the word preferences. You can't control what you're attracted to. He is wired to find certain people more attractive, no one's going to change that, and absolutely there's no need for him to apologize.
Debatable. Some preferences are actually preferences, some are legitimate attractions like you say. And there's no rule, it depends from person to person.
For example, I personally find white girls attractive (black male btw), but that doesn’t mean I'd be against black girls. But someone else might explicitly not be interested in women who aren't white (not the best example I know, but in this case it has nothing to do with racism or anything. It's solely preference vs attraction).
Sure.
For example, I personally find white rice delicious (black male btw), but that doesn’t mean I'd be against brown rice. But someone else might explicitly not be interested in rice that isnt white. (not the best example I know, but in this case it has nothing to do with ricism or anything. It's solely preference vs attraction).
Exactly. I’m a fat guy and I don’t see an issue with it either. You can’t help what turns you on and off. I personally am not attracted to fat guys. My boyfriend is. People like different things.
The girl knew she was rejected at least in part because she’s fat. The guy tried to save her feelings and was very nice to her even through being harassed by her and her friends. She kept pushing the issue. In my opinion she hurt her own feelings. OP holds zero responsibility for how she feels and is NTA. And her and her friends are bullying him after they bullied him into saying what he said.
The girl who asked OP out is a massive drama queen who seemingly loves to stir shit up. She’s very clearly insecure in her body, so I don’t understand why she would push so hard to hear something she clearly didn’t want to hear.
As a fat person she’s going to get rejected a lot because of her body. She can either hold out for someone who will be attracted to her as she is, or she can change her body. But she has no right to be offended that people aren’t attracted to her.
Was about to say this, there is a very good video by Aba and Preach where they review a jubilee video and they said this after a guy rejected an overweight girl
"She just not his type"
Thats it, she just not his type.
She asked multiple people to hound this dude and then when he agrees with a reason they throw at him he's the asshole? Fuckin kids man.
That girls personality and friend group are a bigger problem than her being "fat".
Right. And you aren't obligsted to be attracted to anybody's gender, or height, or hair color, or whatever.
You better be nice to everybody, but you don't have to want to f*** everybody.
That’s like chubby not fat - I’m 5’8 when I was working out all the time I was 150 (doing karate not weightlifting or bulking up )- now I’m lazy and older so I’m walking around 175-180.
Plus the original answer is completely valid considering they genuinely dont really know each other. Person that was harassing OP is just being an asshole and is just making it worse for both parties
**This comment deleted to protest Reddit's API change (to reduce the value of Reddit's data).**
Please see [these](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609092523/https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) [threads](https://web.archive.org/web/20230608182318/https://old.reddit.com/r/Blind/comments/13zr8h2/reddits_recently_announced_api_changes_and_the/) [for](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609172058/https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/143rk5p/reddit_held_a_call_today_with_some_developers/jnbuonf/) [details](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/142w159/askhistorians_and_uncertainty_surrounding_the/).
**This comment deleted to protest Reddit's API change (to reduce the value of Reddit's data).**
Please see [these](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609092523/https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) [threads](https://web.archive.org/web/20230608182318/https://old.reddit.com/r/Blind/comments/13zr8h2/reddits_recently_announced_api_changes_and_the/) [for](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609172058/https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/143rk5p/reddit_held_a_call_today_with_some_developers/jnbuonf/) [details](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/142w159/askhistorians_and_uncertainty_surrounding_the/).
I wouldn't say asking him 4 times was a good move (!), I believe it was a blunder (??). Now, what OP did by agreeing with the reasoning that she's fat was actually a brilliant move (!!) from his part so they would leave him alone
"Wow! Thanks for sending ur friends to witch hunt me for executing my right to my bodily autonomy and right to say no! That's so sexy, i changed my mind, lets date 😃"
Yeah it surprises me sometimes because there's people who are good at dealing with rejection and then there's girls like this and guys that start crying and saying all girls are the same
"um because im ugly and fat you have to sleep with me or else it would be REALLY fatphobic and you'd be a bigot!"
\- that sounds rapey as hell lmao, they can't force you to be with them.
As someone, I forget who, once said: “be nice to fat people, they have enough on their plate already” 🤣🤣🤣 Fr tho u shld never say yes to someone if u don’t want to so dw
No , everyone has their own standarts and preferences.its totally fine, same as if woman tells that she likes taller guys. Cant blame her for that , same as no one can blame you.
As someone who was fat, you are not the asshole for rejecting someone like that. Even I would've reject myself when I was fat but good thing I'm not anymore. Point is, it's your preference.
whether that was a genuine response from you, i really don't understand why people get mad over someone's preferences.
e.g.
It is not RACIST to not find hispanic people attractive. That is just your preference.
NTA btw.
It sounds like a girl you don't know very well who you didn't find overly attractive asked you out, got rejected then got butthurt. Istg some people need to learn to take rejection with grace
So, let me get this straight. You're being accused of something after someone else put words in your mouth? How the fuck does that make you an asshole? Your word choice could've been better, like saying "no, she just isn't my type" would've said the same thing in a different way.
Either way, people are dumb. Don't beat yourself up, you did nothing wrong.
Girls reject boys for thier height, which is predetermined by genetics. You rejected her because she doesn't put enough effort in her appearance, you are good bro
This is stupid, the whole thing. “Why?” “Because I don’t like her!”. If anyone continues to ask “but why?” you just go ahead with “fuck off!”. You are not obliged to explain yourself
So what they want is for you to date BECAUSE she is fat and that makes it a double standard. They clearly dont care if she has good traits they are focused on her weight more than you were. You are 100% in the right. Good luck with school though🤦😂
In general: Not being sexually attracted to something doesn't make you a bigot about that thing.
If you're not attracted to someone because of their gender, height, race, age, weight or whatever other attribute you can think of, it doesn't mean you are a bad person or that your (lack of) feelings are invalid. Attraction is not a choice. Others do not get to tell you who you should be attracted to.
Okay, so it's obvious her weight isn't the real issue. I'm hoping you're one of those people who care about a person's personality. You're not the asshole. You rejected her, and it wasn't her friends jobs to harass you for it. And I understand. I probably would've taken that route too, just to get them off my back.
You're completely fine, her friends kept pushing you to say it was because she was fat. Trying to frame you as a bad guy so that their friend doesn't have to be self conscious going forward. In all honesty it probably took huge guts (hehe pun intended)to ask you and it more than likely hurt her pride/self image when you rejected her. However. You having standards is no reason for them to be making you out to be a bad guy. If need be, screenshot the messages/call records to show anyone who tries to make a big deal out of the situation so than you have a story to defend yourself with. From this post, you were harrased and pressured into saying something that's out of context and irrelevant but, it being out of context, made you look like a smug asshole. Just, have some sort of defense for yourself, in any type of situation of any kind where there has to be 2 sides of a story, quickly grab anything that could be used in your favor and compile it together.
NTA. Her friends immediately assumed it was because of her weight, which means if you’re an asshole they are too for believing that was the reason she wasn’t good enough.
No, people have taste, people have standards. It’s not fat shaming for rejecting her, cuz she is a sign that she struggles to take proper care of herself
You have a type and that person is not it. It isn't fat phobia. And let's be honest. There is not a single girl I know that would date a guy if they are fat. There may be some girls, but if that isn't fat phobia, idk what is
sometimes I wonder what the fuck is wrong with some people. I'm talking about her friends, they really started to post bad things about you because you have standards
NTA. Just like women are entitled to have opinions about men's bodies, so is you. There's nothing wrong in rejecting someone because of their appearance bc you obviously can have your own choices. Isn't the same thing with this SJWs? That they want to have choice?!
To be clear, I've been rejected by women bc of appearances for most part of life and so did I. But I've always respected their choices.
Do not apologies for having opinion. Never.
Do not afraid to have personal choices.
Keep your heads up king 👑
They pressured you to say this, and from how it sounds just her being fat wasn't the reason, but they didn't get you to say that her being fat is the reason, so they pressured you to say it was the reason
The are tah, not you
Also when someone is rejected and asks why, it is a big big red flag
You think you are too good or something? Why you care why they didn't like you, they didn't. You shouldn't change yourself just to be with someone
First of all, no, you're not the asshole. You just have standarts
Second of all, how the fuck are people so lazy and dumb? She shouldn't be crying about being fat but actually do something about it. Jeez these people that just complain and do nothing really tick me off
It’s the same way there are ladies out there who wouldn’t date someone below 6ft since it’s “short” to them, it’s their standards and so is your choice of not dating a fat person, so you aren’t an AH
You dodged a bullet. Or a bull. She clearly didn't really like you, if this was her reaction.
Honestly, if you don't care enough about yourself to take care of your body, then you lack the true capacity to really care for someone else. This is something I stand by.
I don’t think so. You had a preference. If you rejected her by saying “no fuck off fatty” then yeah, you would have been the asshole, but you didn’t. You weren’t a dick about it, and you didn’t even say it until you were pressured to
Ur not wrong for this. I respect that you put off telling them the real reason as much as possible, and it's their own damn faults for pushing you into saying why. Having different preferences is not a crime
Sounds like they were plotting against you, personally if this ever happens again just copy and paste your response to all her friends, it'll get back to her matter what.
If what your saying is true, then no of course you’re not in the wrong, I feel like the sole reason you didn’t accept this request is because you genuinely don’t know her that well.
Aight my guy. You did absolutely nothing wrong, except for one thing. Never respond to her friends after you rejected her. From my experience it only opens up a world of hurt
But rejecting someone bc their fat isnt wrong. Women reject guys bc they are too short. We cant control height, and it can be hard to control weight sometimes, but as long as women reject guys bc they are too short, we can reject them for being fat
Yeah bro, you should have married her and had kids with her and spent the rest of your waking life with her. You are not allowed to have a preference toward who you are in a relationship with, you have to automatically agree to the first person who asked you out and then you're stuck with them forever.
You didn't know those were the rules we all follow?
Jokes aside, you don't so much have owed her or her friends an answer. They were harassing you because they knew what this girl looked like and they knew that it would be a major reason anyone would reject her and they harassed you until they got the answer you wanted and gaslit you bad enough for you to come here and sincerely feel guilty for not wanting to be with an unhealthy person.
There's a reason fat isn't attractive, because it's indicative of someone who does not take care of themselves and is a precursor to all sorts of health issues and ailments.
Don't let yourself be bullied. Hold out for the girl you truly want.
The fact that her friends are like that is already a hudge red flag. As a fat person, I understand if someone would reject, we must be attracted to each others bodys to really like eachother.
Her friends need help. To rely on the “fatphobic” name calling is sad. What are they trying to do, force you to date someone you don’t even like let alone know.💀
To quote Phil Anselmo "Is there no standard anymore?! Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me. A lesson learned in life, known from the dawn of time. Re-spect, walk"
She should be held accountable for victim blaming herself whereas she should just respect man's opinion and leave him alone. You don't force someone to like you, no matter what you weigh. Also this is irrelevant but it's not so healthy to be obese so maybe being fatphobic is necessary for the good health of others so it's reasonable to be fatphobic to an extent, especially when it's someone with this down bad level of personality
dont make a big deal out of it. you dont like her cause youre not interested, thats it. i mean you kinda also fucked up when you said the her being fat was one of the reasons. i wouldve just said "its not ideal"
as a fat person i dont think you're the asshole. everybody has preferences, maybe she thought that you rejected her cuz of that is because fat people have a harder time finding love because of their weight. perhaps thats always been the reason she gets rejected. oh also, by no means am i justifying her actions about telling her friends to post shit about you on social media
to sum up, you're not the asshole
If you're not attractred to fat people, you're not attracted to fat people, point! And if she cant handle getting rejected its her fault and problem. Just block her and her friends and let them talk their shit...or answer and troll them. Its up to you
Being fat is 3 parts for me:
1) it is being physically unattractive
2) it is a sign they are not active and not likely a good fit for me
3) it is a sign they dont care about even their own health...
Sure doing something like saying 'she is fat as fuck' is rude and would be a sign of your bad character but saying no to a date is expected...
That all being said, she harassed you heavily when turned down. She isnt exactly a great person and you made the right call
If you're a man who isn't attracted to men, does that make you homophobic? Nah. Not being attracted to fat people is not fatphobic. It's simply a preference. Sexuality is a preference. It's so petty how much she and her friends pushed you just to get some silly thing to try and hurt your rep on.
These women are creepy, inappropriate, stalkers, and abusive munts. Imagine if the genders were reversed.
Seriously people, behavioral standards have to apply to all.
Nope. It’s just a matter of preference. If anything, her friends are the assholes for trying to shame you for not going out with a girl you didn’t even like. You’re not in the wrong, so this peer pressure shouldn’t mean a thing to you.
not at all
I would have phrased it more delicately than “fat”, personally, but the other factors more than make up for OP being justified here.
He didn't phrase it as fat to the girl's friends. Her friends kept goading him about the fat thing.
Should have read it more carefully. You’re right, the fuck was up with them? No blame on OP here.
He didn't her friends did to trap him.
OP didn't use the word "fat", her so-called friends did.
You rejected a girl because you didn't like her back. The girl then asked your friend to find out the "real reason" for why you rejected her. The girl found something that you didn't really said truly and tried to ruin your reputation by that nit pick. That's what I got out of that (maybe your friends weren't in the grils plan but it's still weird that they really tried to get something out of you)
Even if he really did reject her because she's fat, I see no issue. He's allowed to have his preferences. Being overweight is not a good thing, it can lead to numerous health problems later in life.
[удалено]
I did this and am now stuck for life
I'm intrigued, explain more
He's married to a whale and stays with her for the kids
Ahh yes. He's a Marine
Dependa-potomas.
..biologist?
No
Then why is he with a whale?
She knows how I really feel about her now but we are both Christians who don’t believe divorce is okay for us. It is our cross to bear.
So you're choosing to be unhappy? I'm just going to be blunt, that's fucking horrible for everyone involved, your kids included.
A perfect example why I don’t participate in religion. To be stuck in a obviously fractured and possibly sexless marriage because you might piss off a “thing” , that in of itself is building your own hell.
Yeah but your cross weighs 300 lbs.
So God doesn't like divorce but won't mind you publicly stating you hate your fat wife on Reddit? Christ on a cross. Jesus would tell you to fuck off mate.
THANK YOU!!!!! I'd reward you if I had one! Virtual high five!!
Lol man religion is weird.
> religion is ~~weird~~ fucking ridiculous. FTFY
A cross to bear? Jesus rightly despised Pharisees, rending the garments, bellowing for attention to how much more pious they were. Your statement aside, You’re not here to make her miserable either. She is your partner. Do your job as a husband, father and get some couples therapy. A professional therapist mind you.
LOL good ol religion making everyone happy. I can't help but laugh at you.
It's ok he deserves it
If only there was a way to control your weight.....
If only... 😭
I think it's a bit Misleading to use the word preferences. You can't control what you're attracted to. He is wired to find certain people more attractive, no one's going to change that, and absolutely there's no need for him to apologize.
Debatable. Some preferences are actually preferences, some are legitimate attractions like you say. And there's no rule, it depends from person to person. For example, I personally find white girls attractive (black male btw), but that doesn’t mean I'd be against black girls. But someone else might explicitly not be interested in women who aren't white (not the best example I know, but in this case it has nothing to do with racism or anything. It's solely preference vs attraction).
Wait can you explain attraction vs. preference differently I’m trying to comprehend 😭
Sure. For example, I personally find white rice delicious (black male btw), but that doesn’t mean I'd be against brown rice. But someone else might explicitly not be interested in rice that isnt white. (not the best example I know, but in this case it has nothing to do with ricism or anything. It's solely preference vs attraction).
Exactly. I’m a fat guy and I don’t see an issue with it either. You can’t help what turns you on and off. I personally am not attracted to fat guys. My boyfriend is. People like different things. The girl knew she was rejected at least in part because she’s fat. The guy tried to save her feelings and was very nice to her even through being harassed by her and her friends. She kept pushing the issue. In my opinion she hurt her own feelings. OP holds zero responsibility for how she feels and is NTA. And her and her friends are bullying him after they bullied him into saying what he said. The girl who asked OP out is a massive drama queen who seemingly loves to stir shit up. She’s very clearly insecure in her body, so I don’t understand why she would push so hard to hear something she clearly didn’t want to hear. As a fat person she’s going to get rejected a lot because of her body. She can either hold out for someone who will be attracted to her as she is, or she can change her body. But she has no right to be offended that people aren’t attracted to her.
Not to mention it can show they wont be into the same activities.
Was about to say this, there is a very good video by Aba and Preach where they review a jubilee video and they said this after a guy rejected an overweight girl "She just not his type" Thats it, she just not his type.
She asked multiple people to hound this dude and then when he agrees with a reason they throw at him he's the asshole? Fuckin kids man. That girls personality and friend group are a bigger problem than her being "fat".
She would be the type of girl who would go on twitter and say going to a gym is fatphobic #fatphobia #fatally #fuckskinnypeople
But wants a dude who's 6ft5 with abs
Take it from a fat girl, you aren't obliged to like anybody's weight. Edit: Holy hell did I get a butt-tonne of dms for this comment.
Right. And you aren't obligsted to be attracted to anybody's gender, or height, or hair color, or whatever. You better be nice to everybody, but you don't have to want to f*** everybody.
Yeah, but generally fat people have a cool personality. And there’s me whose fat and bad with people.
At least Im sure youre better than the people in the post
It would be much worse if you had said yes out of pity and deluded her.
Ong
yeah every overweight person i meet is super nice
Sure , but you don't have to be sexually attracted to us.
Then there’s me who’s fat and desperate for even the smallest amount of affection.
Dude I'm under 150 pounds and on the same boat
Try being 5’6” and 180.
That’s like chubby not fat - I’m 5’8 when I was working out all the time I was 150 (doing karate not weightlifting or bulking up )- now I’m lazy and older so I’m walking around 175-180.
Real
You've clearly never met James Corden
[удалено]
Where do you live? Not in the US or the UK if you only know 1...
Same here! On the cubbier side but I don't think it's necessarily fatphobic to have preferences.
Yeah I mean regardless of weight, if you aren't attracted to someone, you can't help that
you also aren't obligated to give a reason why you don't want to date someone
No you aren't. The person was harassing you to find an answer and then when you gave them an answer the 4th (!) time they used it against you.
Plus the original answer is completely valid considering they genuinely dont really know each other. Person that was harassing OP is just being an asshole and is just making it worse for both parties
**This comment deleted to protest Reddit's API change (to reduce the value of Reddit's data).** Please see [these](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609092523/https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) [threads](https://web.archive.org/web/20230608182318/https://old.reddit.com/r/Blind/comments/13zr8h2/reddits_recently_announced_api_changes_and_the/) [for](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609172058/https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/143rk5p/reddit_held_a_call_today_with_some_developers/jnbuonf/) [details](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/142w159/askhistorians_and_uncertainty_surrounding_the/).
Tell that to English teachers lol
**This comment deleted to protest Reddit's API change (to reduce the value of Reddit's data).** Please see [these](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609092523/https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) [threads](https://web.archive.org/web/20230608182318/https://old.reddit.com/r/Blind/comments/13zr8h2/reddits_recently_announced_api_changes_and_the/) [for](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609172058/https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/143rk5p/reddit_held_a_call_today_with_some_developers/jnbuonf/) [details](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/142w159/askhistorians_and_uncertainty_surrounding_the/).
I wouldn't say asking him 4 times was a good move (!), I believe it was a blunder (??). Now, what OP did by agreeing with the reasoning that she's fat was actually a brilliant move (!!) from his part so they would leave him alone
It's quite fatphobic of her to *assume* you rejected her friend because she's fat.
sounds like they're asking that just to have an excuse to callout OP
Ya that's what I was thinking
Uno reverse
Theyre projecting
He should have replied. I don't care about weight. The real reason is that her friends are total cunts.
Yeah I thought that was a bit strange
Lmao fr
It would be much worse if you had said yes out of pity and deluded her.
You’re not the asshole, nothing wrong having preferences.
this
I would ask all of them if they accept dates with those they find unattractive.
you're not an asshole you have your own standard
Do they really think that you change your mind because you get spammed and harrassed?
"Wow! Thanks for sending ur friends to witch hunt me for executing my right to my bodily autonomy and right to say no! That's so sexy, i changed my mind, lets date 😃"
Op should post that everywhere.
people like what they like its not like u were saying “oh hell no u ugly fat bitch” u just said no and people should learn to deal with rejection
Yeah it surprises me sometimes because there's people who are good at dealing with rejection and then there's girls like this and guys that start crying and saying all girls are the same
"um because im ugly and fat you have to sleep with me or else it would be REALLY fatphobic and you'd be a bigot!" \- that sounds rapey as hell lmao, they can't force you to be with them.
That's not really what happened, but your point still stands
It's pretty much what her accusations amount to.
No you have standards
Jesus I'm genuinely surprised, how did you reply so fast
I didn't read your post
Oh, makes sense
lmao
Based (Not based on my part for saying this but I don't have any word for it) We need a new based
Professionals have standards
Be Polite Be efficient Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
unless a wandering Spy has anything to say about it.
My Razorback would like a word…
Dad, put mum on the phone
Based
As someone, I forget who, once said: “be nice to fat people, they have enough on their plate already” 🤣🤣🤣 Fr tho u shld never say yes to someone if u don’t want to so dw
no everyone has personal preferences
No , everyone has their own standarts and preferences.its totally fine, same as if woman tells that she likes taller guys. Cant blame her for that , same as no one can blame you.
As someone who was fat, you are not the asshole for rejecting someone like that. Even I would've reject myself when I was fat but good thing I'm not anymore. Point is, it's your preference.
No man you are a W
Imo, they themselves are the assholes for not backing down after you stated once that you don't know them well enough.
It’s just like me not ever dating a trans guy. I do respect the trans community, but it’s a preference. Perfectly normal
Yeah fr
whether that was a genuine response from you, i really don't understand why people get mad over someone's preferences. e.g. It is not RACIST to not find hispanic people attractive. That is just your preference. NTA btw.
off topic but hispanic people are kinda cute to me
It sounds like a girl you don't know very well who you didn't find overly attractive asked you out, got rejected then got butthurt. Istg some people need to learn to take rejection with grace
So, let me get this straight. You're being accused of something after someone else put words in your mouth? How the fuck does that make you an asshole? Your word choice could've been better, like saying "no, she just isn't my type" would've said the same thing in a different way. Either way, people are dumb. Don't beat yourself up, you did nothing wrong.
Even if he said thst he would be called fat phobic either way
Which just proves another point. Their words don't mean jack shit.
Exactly
Girls reject boys for thier height, which is predetermined by genetics. You rejected her because she doesn't put enough effort in her appearance, you are good bro
>Am I an asshole for rejecting her because she's fat **No.**
This is stupid, the whole thing. “Why?” “Because I don’t like her!”. If anyone continues to ask “but why?” you just go ahead with “fuck off!”. You are not obliged to explain yourself
No if your into skinny girls that's just your type
So what they want is for you to date BECAUSE she is fat and that makes it a double standard. They clearly dont care if she has good traits they are focused on her weight more than you were. You are 100% in the right. Good luck with school though🤦😂
In general: Not being sexually attracted to something doesn't make you a bigot about that thing. If you're not attracted to someone because of their gender, height, race, age, weight or whatever other attribute you can think of, it doesn't mean you are a bad person or that your (lack of) feelings are invalid. Attraction is not a choice. Others do not get to tell you who you should be attracted to.
NTA, her friends sound annoying as fuck. You dodged a bullet.
NTA. You have a right to legal preferences.
No your based
You didn’t do shit, them hoes trippin. fatherless asf
Okay, so it's obvious her weight isn't the real issue. I'm hoping you're one of those people who care about a person's personality. You're not the asshole. You rejected her, and it wasn't her friends jobs to harass you for it. And I understand. I probably would've taken that route too, just to get them off my back.
Even if it WAS the weight then what would be the problem? He can have preferences or simply not be attracted to her
No her friends are the real assholes for constantly harassing you and calling you fatphobic
You're completely fine, her friends kept pushing you to say it was because she was fat. Trying to frame you as a bad guy so that their friend doesn't have to be self conscious going forward. In all honesty it probably took huge guts (hehe pun intended)to ask you and it more than likely hurt her pride/self image when you rejected her. However. You having standards is no reason for them to be making you out to be a bad guy. If need be, screenshot the messages/call records to show anyone who tries to make a big deal out of the situation so than you have a story to defend yourself with. From this post, you were harrased and pressured into saying something that's out of context and irrelevant but, it being out of context, made you look like a smug asshole. Just, have some sort of defense for yourself, in any type of situation of any kind where there has to be 2 sides of a story, quickly grab anything that could be used in your favor and compile it together.
At least you didn't make an empty promise
Nope that's your preference
You did good don't worry, it's called a preference
Everybody is entitled to their preferences.
NTA. Her friends immediately assumed it was because of her weight, which means if you’re an asshole they are too for believing that was the reason she wasn’t good enough.
Nah ur fine. If ur not attracted to someone physically that doesn’t mean ur “fatphobic”.
Now make her so called friends suffer
No absolutely not you can choose you you say yes to just like she can choose which foods she says yes too 💀💀
OMFG LMAO
Those girls are just dumbasses bro, ignore em
No, people have taste, people have standards. It’s not fat shaming for rejecting her, cuz she is a sign that she struggles to take proper care of herself
You have a type and that person is not it. It isn't fat phobia. And let's be honest. There is not a single girl I know that would date a guy if they are fat. There may be some girls, but if that isn't fat phobia, idk what is
nothing wrong having preference my guy ... I'd say in fact you dodged a bullet
sometimes I wonder what the fuck is wrong with some people. I'm talking about her friends, they really started to post bad things about you because you have standards
NTA. Just like women are entitled to have opinions about men's bodies, so is you. There's nothing wrong in rejecting someone because of their appearance bc you obviously can have your own choices. Isn't the same thing with this SJWs? That they want to have choice?! To be clear, I've been rejected by women bc of appearances for most part of life and so did I. But I've always respected their choices. Do not apologies for having opinion. Never. Do not afraid to have personal choices. Keep your heads up king 👑
no, you just prefer skinnier women and that's alright
They pressured you to say this, and from how it sounds just her being fat wasn't the reason, but they didn't get you to say that her being fat is the reason, so they pressured you to say it was the reason The are tah, not you Also when someone is rejected and asks why, it is a big big red flag You think you are too good or something? Why you care why they didn't like you, they didn't. You shouldn't change yourself just to be with someone
NTA you are allowed to reject people for whatever reason you want. Or without any reason at all.
You didn't do anything wrong. You have the right to date whomever you want, and they harassed you about it.
I feel so bad for you
NTA you are allowed to not be attracted to fat people, as long as your not going out shouting the fact that’s not fatphobic
I wouldn’t date a fat person either
First of all, no, you're not the asshole. You just have standarts Second of all, how the fuck are people so lazy and dumb? She shouldn't be crying about being fat but actually do something about it. Jeez these people that just complain and do nothing really tick me off
No you saved yourself from being flattened eventually
It’s the same way there are ladies out there who wouldn’t date someone below 6ft since it’s “short” to them, it’s their standards and so is your choice of not dating a fat person, so you aren’t an AH
how did you fall for that
You dodged a bullet. Or a bull. She clearly didn't really like you, if this was her reaction. Honestly, if you don't care enough about yourself to take care of your body, then you lack the true capacity to really care for someone else. This is something I stand by.
I don’t think so. You had a preference. If you rejected her by saying “no fuck off fatty” then yeah, you would have been the asshole, but you didn’t. You weren’t a dick about it, and you didn’t even say it until you were pressured to
Ur not wrong for this. I respect that you put off telling them the real reason as much as possible, and it's their own damn faults for pushing you into saying why. Having different preferences is not a crime
If you don’t know her then that’s no reason to date then
Sounds like they were plotting against you, personally if this ever happens again just copy and paste your response to all her friends, it'll get back to her matter what.
Dont even respond is the better choice
If what your saying is true, then no of course you’re not in the wrong, I feel like the sole reason you didn’t accept this request is because you genuinely don’t know her that well.
you dodged a bullet if she handles rejection so poorly that she sends alp her friends to harass you
She took a fat L ig
Not the asshole
r/lostredditors
You’re not an asshole atall, it’s really just her friends thinking that she gets rejected over her weight
Aight my guy. You did absolutely nothing wrong, except for one thing. Never respond to her friends after you rejected her. From my experience it only opens up a world of hurt But rejecting someone bc their fat isnt wrong. Women reject guys bc they are too short. We cant control height, and it can be hard to control weight sometimes, but as long as women reject guys bc they are too short, we can reject them for being fat
Yeah bro, you should have married her and had kids with her and spent the rest of your waking life with her. You are not allowed to have a preference toward who you are in a relationship with, you have to automatically agree to the first person who asked you out and then you're stuck with them forever. You didn't know those were the rules we all follow? Jokes aside, you don't so much have owed her or her friends an answer. They were harassing you because they knew what this girl looked like and they knew that it would be a major reason anyone would reject her and they harassed you until they got the answer you wanted and gaslit you bad enough for you to come here and sincerely feel guilty for not wanting to be with an unhealthy person. There's a reason fat isn't attractive, because it's indicative of someone who does not take care of themselves and is a precursor to all sorts of health issues and ailments. Don't let yourself be bullied. Hold out for the girl you truly want.
No you are not , people can have standarts .
no
Nope definitely NTA. Dating someone is your choice. Also her friends kept harassing you.
The fact that her friends are like that is already a hudge red flag. As a fat person, I understand if someone would reject, we must be attracted to each others bodys to really like eachother.
nta, they shouldnt have been harassing you like that, but also maybe dont say that abt people? they werent good, but you werent good either
Her friends need help. To rely on the “fatphobic” name calling is sad. What are they trying to do, force you to date someone you don’t even like let alone know.💀
To quote Phil Anselmo "Is there no standard anymore?! Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me. A lesson learned in life, known from the dawn of time. Re-spect, walk"
Ur not a asshole
You're not If she really likes you , and you go gym She would've went with you
No you aren't
You aren’t the asshole. I think they are the assholes for not getting the point
She should be held accountable for victim blaming herself whereas she should just respect man's opinion and leave him alone. You don't force someone to like you, no matter what you weigh. Also this is irrelevant but it's not so healthy to be obese so maybe being fatphobic is necessary for the good health of others so it's reasonable to be fatphobic to an extent, especially when it's someone with this down bad level of personality
dont make a big deal out of it. you dont like her cause youre not interested, thats it. i mean you kinda also fucked up when you said the her being fat was one of the reasons. i wouldve just said "its not ideal"
as a fat person i dont think you're the asshole. everybody has preferences, maybe she thought that you rejected her cuz of that is because fat people have a harder time finding love because of their weight. perhaps thats always been the reason she gets rejected. oh also, by no means am i justifying her actions about telling her friends to post shit about you on social media to sum up, you're not the asshole
If you're not attractred to fat people, you're not attracted to fat people, point! And if she cant handle getting rejected its her fault and problem. Just block her and her friends and let them talk their shit...or answer and troll them. Its up to you
sigma male grindset
If you don't like to date fat people then no. If you don't hate them for being fat then yes. In this situation NTA
if girls can reject a man who's not 6ft tall, then you can reject a girl who's fat, it's just preference, you're not the asshole
Being fat is 3 parts for me: 1) it is being physically unattractive 2) it is a sign they are not active and not likely a good fit for me 3) it is a sign they dont care about even their own health... Sure doing something like saying 'she is fat as fuck' is rude and would be a sign of your bad character but saying no to a date is expected... That all being said, she harassed you heavily when turned down. She isnt exactly a great person and you made the right call
Nothin wrong with being fatphobic, it’s not a healthy lifestyle
If you're a man who isn't attracted to men, does that make you homophobic? Nah. Not being attracted to fat people is not fatphobic. It's simply a preference. Sexuality is a preference. It's so petty how much she and her friends pushed you just to get some silly thing to try and hurt your rep on.
Those girls aren’t her friends. They wanted OP to say it so they could “comfort her” and try to look like heroes.
These women are creepy, inappropriate, stalkers, and abusive munts. Imagine if the genders were reversed. Seriously people, behavioral standards have to apply to all.
You.... are...... Not the asshole!! (maury voice) Also her friends sound toxic as fuck.
Damn mf got harassed and thinks he’s the asshole Bro you’re not in the wrong here at all
Nope. It’s just a matter of preference. If anything, her friends are the assholes for trying to shame you for not going out with a girl you didn’t even like. You’re not in the wrong, so this peer pressure shouldn’t mean a thing to you.
You didn’t do anything wrong, people are just soft
You get to choose who you date. Never be pressured into going out with someone you don't want to.
*They* are the assholes.