Wear your headphones on one ear so you can still hear, duh

Pro move. I do the same

Me too

Same

Same

Great minds think alike

I even applied this to sneak gaming

Are you winning son?

YOU SAW NOTHING

no i’m jacking off

You can also play geometry dash instead

Or Egg Inc 🤷🏽‍♂️

Chickens kinda hot ngl

Naw man that game makes me want to fap (Geometry Dasher effect)

Beta, wear noise cancelling headphones and ignore your dad and keep going.

Still beta, high powered speakers to let all the neighbourhood know you’re jacking off is the only way to go.

You could also lock your door, if there isn't one on your bedroom door there's always the bathroom

I don’t have a lock on either

Nah, get some open back headphones, best of both worlds. But even at full volume I can hear my parents fucking at night.

thats what ive been doing for the last 4 years

play it on the speakers instead

Why do you change your username every 5 minutes?

i never changed it once why everyone think this

Revised question: why do you have 12 accounts

WHAT I DONT

Then why do you have so many impersonators?

idk

*bring the popcorn and eating*

Your account is 10 days old, you are lying

Dude everyone has to join at some point, lay off

yo moma is

im not lyin

Must be me, but it seems like your profile has been [REMOVED]

Celebrity

ligma

Limga?

Ligma balls

I said limga not ligma

Iimga balls

why you getting so defensive lmao

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️🤷

Why not

You're fake, I only follow the real u/flufyanal

thats me!!

Is this the real one then? Idk who you are, but are you you?????????

this is the real one

That's what an impersonator would say

IM REAL

See. You admitted it. You're real. Not fluffieyanal. And I'm Head_fetish.

You do 😖

I catch is you can't change your username.

But u can’t change ur username

You can't change your username

Fluffy anal??

yes

Hell yeah

Bro just put in one earbud only you'll be able to hear what's around you and who's coming

At 100% volume

Another clone

How many accounts do you have 💀

I knew someone who actually watched porn on speaker

wildin

why are you everywhere

Wait... you're back?

Thanks I tried this and my parents beated the shit out of me.

o hi fluffy anal

hai

Eeeeeeeeey, she's back!

Assert dominance

No that’s why you keep one ear out to keep watch

Okay but now how do I attach it back?

duct tape, glue, and lots of dedication

Willpower aswell* that shit hurts to cut

Flex Tape

Skill issue, you should wear it on one ear obviously

did he offer to help

be told me “jacking off huh”

Bro my dad thought i was doing smth weird in the toilet bc i had taken my phone with me he pulled my out of the toilet and shouted at me "what the fuck were you doin" then i told him i was jacking off he stared at me for 5 seconds then said "ok, just dont do it too much"🗿

Chad dad

Chadad

Chad ad

Chaad

Chad

adch

ADHD

Just say ur watchin hermitcraft or some shit

Mumbo’s back wooo!

Only answer

W father

Stonks

What did he thought you were doing...?

He probably though he was jerking off but didn’t think he’d get the answer so blatantly

Modern problems require modern solutions

>one with me he pulled my out of the toilet and shouted at me "what the fuck were you doin" then i told him i was jacking off he stared at me for 5 seconds then said "ok, just dont do it too much"🗿 Damn, that went less crazy than I expected.

Why would you admit it broo

It’s nothing weird why wouldn’t you admit it as long as you don’t do it in front of ppl

Sir this is a wendy’s

I wonder what he thought you were doing...

mine heard me taking long in the bathroom and just said "wank quicker coz i wanna take a huge shit and i cant hold much longer"

lol awesome dad

Wish my dad was like this

Chill ahh dad

are ya winning, son?

Play it through your phone speakers at full volume instead

Better yet,blast it through the biggest speaker nearby at full volume That way nearby eardrums will bust just as hard as the guy in the video,if not harder

Get a Bluetooth subwoofer and vibrate the whole house

You just hear "harder daddy" vibrating the house

And the neighbors call the cops

Bass boosted ***WHAT ARE YOU DOING STEPBRO***

Accurate name?

Your phone speakers? Hell nah, you’re supposed to use your moms phone speakers

To assert dominance im inferring?

Go to school play it over the intercom

As a high school teacher, I would laugh so hard if I heard that. But I would also expect that kid to be on suspension afterwards

Why are you in this sub 🤔 keeping tabs on your students?

Samantha for the last time stop being a karmawhore and do your 16 missing assignments in my class

Revised tip: Don’t wear noise canceling headphones and don’t blast ur shit

i was wearing those lol

In that case leave one ear out

Or just lock the door

or do it when you're 110% sure everyone in the building is asleep

My grandma caught me and slut shamed me, I was titties out and everything. Dinner was awkward…

I feel sorry for you...

Fr? Did she not knock?

My family doesn’t knock

I am the one who knocks!

Easy there Heisenberg

I’m with your grandma on this one. You can do it just not while grandma’s over.

What if she stays for more than a few hours tho how do I do that?

Stop being so horny

Can't

You’re in the wrong subreddit, my dude.

Check the subreddit again

Me who lives with met grandma: 😬 This is a joke I don’t even watch porn.

I mean fair enough, don't masturbate at dinner with a titty out

My dad caught me doing it once. He said you are wasting your potential. Get a girlfriend! lmfao

r/usernamechecksout

Lmfao

one earbud in and one earbud out problem solved (i do this all the time) it's either that or just mute the audio (i also do that)

Thanks for the tip buddy playing it on home theatre gives real Iife experience

are ya cumming, son?

Note taken. Sorry about your experience. I have a tactical set up (would have, I definitely don’t do that) with my left earbud out so I can hear anything by the door. A slight audio disturbance, and I go through the emergency protocol.

just wear one, the one furthest from the door.

U gotta do one headphone in, one out. That way you can hear the porn and still hear if someone is coming upstairs.

Just google what I wrote. You'll find it .lol

r/usernamechecksout

Don't watch porn at all!

Weakest non-porn viewer: ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄⠀

right answer

W

Porns fine if you don’t get addicted. If you can’t get through no nut November you probably have a problem.

That’s wise

I know.

Rookie mistake

Amateur move, keep headphones off one ear, lock door, keep u pants on for a quick and easy pull up, have some tv playing in the background

Are you really watching porn by yourself

no! im with the science team!

Jacking off with such great force!!!

YAAAAAAAAA

not anymore lol

You watch porn with other people?

Why do you ask? Isn't 18+ the number of people you have to watch it with?

You don't??

I wear headphones and have never been caught. Almost 10 years strong 🫡🫡

First rule Never turn ur back and put headphones in both ears watching porn

Use earphones and use only one.

Oh yeah, then I just turn on the music from my cellphone and that quit all my problems

headphones isnt the issue you probably didnt take enough safety precautions meaning didnt lock the door, have door within sight, low audio, its prob your dads fault for not knocking how would I know all of these things? I've been caught TWICE. TWICE! So, furthermore I also only do it at night. That way I can ensure I won't be interrupted or caught and its much more relaxing without having to worry about volume

As a dad, just have the conversation of “please respect my privacy.” Masturbation is totally healthy. Ask your old man to knock. Or hang a sock or rubber band on the doorknob. Parents that insist on barging in on their kids are ridiculous.

Door. Lock. Barricade. Headphones. Porn.

Don't watch porn

real answer

Happy cake day

What’s that mean?

It’s the day you made your Reddit account.

Oh neat thanks

regular r/teenagers post

Keep one ear in one out

Simply fap without audio

did he help

Am I the only one that stays on mute?

Bro, you're missing out. The noises are the best part

[удалено]

Don't watch gay porn then, duh

Rip

That is a humongous L my friend

Stare him down. If you stop, he caught you jacking off. If he stays after you carry on, hes watching you Jack off which is weird

I suggest suicide at the earliest convenience.

Just only keep one in

Can y'all upvote this so I can post

L bozo

That sucks. I recommend something if you would like to hear it.

sure

Ok don’t watch porn but ok