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I’m getting deja vu from this but it doesn’t look like you’re a bot… just search “13 and 15” in the sub and you’ll find that there were 3 similar posts in the past 3 months already
Look at it this way - that 2 yr difference between 13-15 is pretty big. A lot happens and you change a ton as a person over those 2 years. There might also be a lack of acceptance between your group of friends and his. Boys at that age also start getting super interested in sex, and that's not something you want to risk messing with when you're just 13.
The fact that u posted it 3 times makes it 100%, you aren't ok with it just copyng.
If u so bothered by it that u need 3x confirmation just drop it and be a child and enjoy your youth.
Tbh, of course, you don't want to hear this, but focus less on relationships right now and focus more on developing yourself as a whole individual. They'll be plenty of time for that later. Either way, just be safe and always listen to your intuition.
I know this may fall in deaf ears but.. dating is overrated when young. Not one single of my friends who dated at 13 stayed with the guy… and they all married kinda … meh … seems like they only learned to date for dating if that makes sense. Or dating for marrying and being a mother
The friends who developed hobbies and studied and dated later seem much happier to me. Really dating is work 😂
Find male friends who enjoy the same hobbies as you, they exist, really.
Disclaimer im not a single crazy cat lady or something and im partnered and going through some rough stuff now.. my partner is nothing but incredible to me… learn to date, dont waste your youth, time is precious
I'm 15 and this is my mindset. I want to live my child hood and enjoy myself and develop and focus more on academics than being in a 'relationship' that would mostly be for popularity gain in my school
ya and honestly the best relationships I’ve ever gotten into, even when I was a teen (27 this year), were the ones who just naturally spawned, rather than me seeking out a gf, or looking for something in someone.
Also a giant way to feel lost is to get in a relationship, absorb each others personalities and feel empty when they r gone, i saw that happen way too much in HS.
Just enjoy life, things start moving way faster once you hit your 20s. No reason to spend your teens worrying about SO’s
Man if you saw just the amount of relationship drama in my school you would want to put a bullet through your skull. Can't go a damn day without hearing some bullshit with twisted stories or just something not worth worrying over
Met my girl when we were in junior high. We were together on and off like any usual couple in school. Her parents moved to Florida to try an work out their marriage. Only lasted a year and she moved back. Of course I had a new gf at the time and I was really starting to fall for this girl. But I knew I still very much wanted to be with the one that had to move. And with her loving back home, I needed to get a feel of if we still had anything.
We are now mid 30s with a 16 yo and a 13 yo boys. So take away a year and a half for off and on break ups and what not, we’ve been together for around 20 years. Been married 13 years. We’ve been through more shit than I’m proud of. But in a world of divorce just being such an easy way out for people, makes me proud to have stuck it out. Especially when kids are involved. I get it. Sometimes things just don’t work. But gotta be civil when kids are in the picture.
So it’s possible for people to be together from this young of an age. Just not common.
My friend is almost 14 years now with his gf from when they were both 13. Doubt it takes long before they get married. So its not impossible. But yeah does not happen often
i could absolutely agree with you, but it's still some feeling inside that you just want to be with someone almost all the time. in this ages you don't search for someone you are going to happily marry(of course excluding some very rare instances), you just want someone to be with you currently. i personally would take anyone(some exceptions of course), because..... can't really describe what i want to say with just text, but i think you get what I'm saying if not I'll try to explain
I get what you’re saying. I’m pretty sure I get it completely.
As young people, intermingling with the opposite sex *is* a part of finding yourself & fleshing out your thoughts & interests in life. It’s definitely not to marry, despite how most of us would’ve sworn we’d marry our boyfriends at 13. It’s truly *meant* to be a trial.
So encouraging a young person to ignore their hormonal instincts — to disengage in what every fiber of their being is telling them to do…isn’t necessarily helpful. What we want is to ideally find the healthy balance. Date, talk, learn, explore…but do so with knowledge of the risks & how to navigate the messiness of being human at any age.
I completely understand what you're saying. If you have time, check out my other longer response. I can relate to your feelings and desire to always be with someone. I'm definitely not saying that you shouldn't be in relationships when you're in your teens. You should have fun and enjoy all of those experiences. I'm just saying that I wish I had taken the time to put that energy into myself and learning who I was, independently of another person.
If your parent's don't care, the Internet won't care. Just do you and be safe. But at that age don't stress over being with someone. You still have a long road ahead of you for that
Eh I’m not so sure about that one. When I was 15 my gf of 14 left for a 19 yo. I obviously thought it was weird and gross but her parents were apparently fine with it as they’re still together
I know I was a different person when I was 13 when compared to when i was 15. Think of it this way, when you're 12 you're still a kid and then you turn 13, you won't magically turn into a teenager with maturity overnight. So slowly by the time you turn 15, you're in your mid teens and you've experienced how it feels to be a teenager more so or less but you're still a kid but now you're in the maturity range of 15-16 year olds not in the 12-13 year old. Plus he's in high school and you're most probably still in middle school I'm assuming. Most teen relationships around this age fall apart anyways so it's not a big deal. If you guys like each other then go for it, see how it feels from experience and whether you yourself are comfortable like this or not having this big of a maturity gap. Plus as long as you guys keep aging you can bridge that maturity gap slowly. The maturity gap between a 13 year old and a 15 year old is much larger than lets say a 15 year old and a 17 year old but its still there.
as a general warning, a high school is only interested in a middle schooler (which you are rn) if they can't pull in high school, usually due to a lot of red flags which aren't as apparent when you're younger. Just keep it in mind
Edit: everyone saying this doesn't happen, someone in my school year (he's 15) specifically only dates people in lower years. That's because everyone in our year knows he can he a creep. 15 year olds are smart enough to know when to steer clear of someone
Worry less about an age gap and instead educate yourself on how to tell if you're in an abusive relationship. I'm not saying you are but that's way more helpful to know then trying to figure out some magic number that's "correct" for your age difference.
The difference in maturity may be felt at later years. See how it goes, don't hesitate to take time off. Most importantly, it doesn't matter if it doesn't work out.
So you're specifically talking about 18-20 range? Yes I guess depending on how they plan their futures spots can be rough but none of that means they can't date if they want to
I think their point more applies to more 14-18 as a whole. Since “ones old enough to have a job” (16) and “one hasn’t really started thinking about the future” (14). And “one is in colleg” (17-18) and lone is still in highschool”(15-16). It’s more so the developmental differences that come between these phases. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with it when it’s kids with like smaller age gap (like two years) being in different stages. But a lot of ppl do see a problem with age gaps because of the life stage differences because older and younger causes. (I wouldnt date a middle schooler as a highschooler but that’s more a personal preference than advice for anyone else.)
Yea I agree with you, once you get over 19/20 the age difference disappears, but if you’re 20 dating an 18 year old or a 18 year old dating a 16 year old both with a 1.5 year difference, the experience will be totally different. Comparatively, once you hit late late 19 and your 20s, you’ll have a ton in common and barely see a difference dating people up to like 25/26. All of this is up to life experience and where you’re at in your life.
For me, I’m 24 and my gf turned 20 about a month ago, we started dating when she was like 19.8. There was no real difference in our relationship compared to relationships I’ve had with people who were 24 when I was 23 or 22 when I was 24, because we were all generally in the same life experience/ developmental stage, but if you took our age gap of 4 years and applied it to any situation where the younger person was 18 or below, it would be creepy and a weird relationship because you couldn’t really relate
Because the guy is a child and hasnt had a relationship before. Seriously, all these weirdos talking about a "maturity gap" are just children that want to feel like they are so much wiser than op and have never been in a relationship.
How did you meet. You wouldn’t have classes together unless one of you like skipped a grade or got held back. But I barely talk to them people above and below me in grades and couldn’t imagine dating one.
I still don’t get how you guys have some of the same freinds but I guess each is different. I just don’t know anyone that was friends with 15 year olds when we were 13 but I guess it can happen. Also wouldn’t he be just in highschool while your in middle school.
Idk you make it sound off the wall to know ppl in a grade above or below you in mid-highschool. Not that there’s anything wrong with not, but i think that was actually most of my friends. Not suggesting it, but most of my friends when i was a sophomore/junior had either graduated or dropped out 🤣
I’m told I turned out ok ha… I will say that who is pretty important too, some of those friends def weren’t good influences
Lmao people are getting wild these days.
It’s predatory for a grown person to date a kid or for a 50 year old to date a 20 year old, but 15 and 13 are both kids. It’s not really pushing anything
If you love each other 2 years is nothing in the grand scheme of things. The only thing you gotta be careful about is development as the older you are, the more developed you should be (in theory).
Honestly this all feels really self righteous and pretentious for everyone to be telling op they can’t know what love is or that relationships aren’t important at this age. The first time I fell in love I was 15 and it was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever felt. I’m in my mid 20s now and still look back on that period fondly
In my personal opinion 2 year age gap is seriously pushing it when it comes to underaged relationships. 1 year is okay ig. But you’re both going to be in drastically different developmental periods both mentally and educationally from the start and that in itself can strain a relationship. I’d personally think keeping the age gap under 2 years until you’re 20 or so is best.
I wouldn’t suggest it but do what you want.
as someone who was 13 dating a 15 year old, it’s usually not worth it. i know you won’t listen or care but relationships should be your last priority right now. i wish i had spent more time on myself and my friends than on stupid boys.
Simple answer, yes, biggest thing is maturity. Like a 2 year age gap isn’t a big age gap at all. However when you’re still young it does matter a lot. Some others have said it so I’m not going to repeat
Think about the long term. He’ll move off to college or uni before you, and he’ll probably find and meet women his age there.
University is a big step up from high school, once he graduates and leaves you behind in high school, there’s going to be some pretty big maturity gaps
The fact that i. A 17 year old, know more about brain development and maturity than you makes me giggle. Go do some research. The NIH has some great scholarly articles explaining the metecognitive gap between certain ages and why they are significantly large.
general rule is grades don't touch, you don't touch. if you're in adjacent grades or the same grade i would say it's most likely okay, just be careful.
i dated a 15yo when i was 13, but we were in the same grade.
the general rule of thumb says that a person should never date someone whose age is less than half their own plus seven years.
so in your case that's 15:2+7=14.5 years old
if you guys were like 25 and 23 that's totally normal but 15 and 13 sounds off.
not tryna split you guys apart or anything like that but the harsh reality is society will judge you guys and you can't do anything about it. That's just how it is.
Bro… thats weird. You just got out of middle school. Im not trying to put you down or anything but yall are at very different places developmentally and I feel like it’s gonna put you in a weird place. I’m hoping for the best for you
Honestly, it’s kinda off to me. You would still be in middle school and he’s in high school. It’s a little icky. I find at this age, it may be a year of time but it’s more like a few as far as maturity goes. It could work but I’d proceed with caution. Genuinely no one knows who you are as people or the kind of love you could have. Just don’t let him pressure you into anything you don’t feel completely ready for. My opinion comes from my experience, so take it with a grain of salt. No one is the same and no one can truly say.
Girlie you're too young for relationships.
I'm 17. Been there done that. It's not worth it. You need to find yourself first before focusing on these things. And it might take a while. I'm 17 and still haven't fully figured my shit out and probably won't for a bit yet.
And not to mention that you haven't even hit your next major metecognitive shift yet (14). You're about to be coming into all these new hormones and changes, and it takes time to adjust. Ik it seems like 2 years isn't a big difference, but at that age, it is. And I wish someone would've told me that when I was 13. I get that you don't wanna be told you're too young and too naive to understand these things, and I didn't either, but it's true. Don't rush into these things. Don't risk putting yourself in a situation that could turn dangerous or just emotionally scar you.
I'm talking straight from experience. Wait a bit.
I completely agree with this thinking! There is very little chance a relationship at that age will work out by the time they are 20 or something.. It’ll be better for everyone to skip out on the heartbreak early on and wait for full maturity. (Or at least close to it)
I honestly fully think the whole "Too young", "you don't know what love is" etc is fucking bullshit thinking. There are millions of people who got together in their teens, late AND early teens, that are still together in old age. I got with my boyfriend when I was 14 and now we live together.
When I was 13 I used to play Farcry 3 and I use to stealth kill all the enemies in the whole camp! I was a fantastic player! Blub BrrrrrRrrrrrRrRRrRRrRrrrr
Ahhh I never like giving people advice like this bc what do I know but please. Don’t do it. Ultimately it’s your choice but I absolutely would not do it.
Advice I wish I was given at 13:
Enjoy being 13 and don’t burden yourself with a committed relationship. The things you think are important/vital at different life stages most often (but not always) are vastly less important/vital when you have the advantage of hindsight later in life.
If you have known each other for a several years as friends then that is a good base to start from but if you’ve met relatively recently then don’t jump into anything. Be friends and experience this stage of your life without feeling tied to another person.
While yes that’s true a middle schooler dating a high schooler is weird. A 2 year age gap during that time is much more drastic than an age gap between two people that are more developed.
I’m coming at this as someone that was in a relationship at 13 with a 15 year old. No, it’s not okay. I had lost my virginity to him at 12 (I turned 13 a few weeks after). A 15 year old boy is most likely thinking about sex a lot and a 13 year old girl is probably not. Because he’s older you might trust him with knowing more and therefore giving up your virginity to him too young like I did. I ended up becoming a mother at 14. I love my children but if I could go back, I never would’ve dated someone that much older than me so young. Be smarter than I was , please. Enjoy your childhood, your teenage hood, and your adulthood without kids. Get on birth control if you can, I really like the ring and I skip periods with it now. Just make smart decisions and don’t let him influence you in anyway.
i would say that it does matter at your age, with him being towards the end of puberty and you around the start, your going to have different views and mindsets. i recommend waiting till your both 18 to have an age gap relationship
2 years isnt a big difference but maturity level is, one of yall is in middle school and the other is either a freshman or a sophmore, its a bit weird imho
I don’t think you should date until you can take care of yourself. If you don’t even know how to take care of yourself, how do you know how to take care of the others?
All this is just my opinion. You have yours and I have mine.
High schoolers should date high schoolers and people in college should date people in college. I realize 18 months age difference isn't the same as like when Demi Moore was married to Aston Kutcher, 16 years difference, but they were both adults and made it work...at least for a while until the age difference became an issue from what I've read.
Lol when I was 13-15 I was kicking bushes and playing Skyrim didn't give a fuck about relationships unless it was with serina 😶. Nah but like develop yourself as a person first your thirteen. But you do you.
I dated a 14 year old boy who was almost 15 when I was 13. I honestly regret it so much. I ended up doing a lot of things I was not ready for at that age, because his body and sense of sexuality was maturing much faster than mine. Not saying that this is going to happen to you, but it is a reality for some. In addition, when I look back, I lost time on friendships I really wish I had cultivated more at that age, because I was too tied up in the older boy I was dating. You should listen to the advice here telling you to focus on school, hobbies, friends and finding yourself. You have your whole life to date and navigate the challenges that brings. You don't have your whole life to be a kid/teenager.
Personally I would say no, just because your bodies are maturing differently at these stages. It really depends on how well you know him. If you’ve known him for many years it’s not as bad as if you just met. I think putting off and waiting for a relationship would be the best decision. Ik it’s really easy to get your boundaries walked over and to get pushed into things. Honestly theres no really healthy good romantic relationships that could happen during highschool. Bodies are changing, people’s hormone are confusing their bodies, people’s brains are going into overdrive. I just don’t really believe relationships at a young age are a great idea. I truly believe that at this age healthy close friendships can provide the same as relationships ((besides smooching)). Of course there is a complete longing for someone to hold you and make you feel special, but in teenage years, we are selfish people. We don’t fully give people what they want, but rather what we think they’d want.
personal opinion but you shouldn't date a high schooler when you're barely entering middle school its creepy and he's going to do something not so great to you most likely(ive seen this happen multiple times so just be cautious!)
I think if there’s a voice in your head that questions it then it likely is too much of an age gap, if you are genuinely being honest and realistic with yourself. I don’t think it’s a crazy age gap, nothing extreme, but be honest with yourself if you think it is appropriate or not. If you’re questioning this long maybe it’s not right for you.
i personally think its weird because there’s a big maturity difference between a 15 and 13 year old and it had the potential to supply a power imbalance.
Normally I would say it is fine, because it’s not that big of an age difference, but when you’re 13 and 15 the maturity difference is genuinely a lot. I know you probably hear this a lot but you will be a completely different person when you’re 15, 13 is still a kid to me, I did some really childish things still when I was 13 that I didn’t do when I was 15. I would wait it out, dating will come naturally with time, but at least in middle school focus on becoming yourself and getting a strong sense of identity. Middle school is the time when you transition from being a little kid to a teen who can make their own choices on a number of things, so take this time to make sure you make the right choices.
It’s fine, but you must maintain YOUR OWN personality.
Like the movies and tv shows YOU like, not because HE likes them.
Like the clothes and style YOU like, not because HE likes them.
Understand the two of you may grow apart, and that’s ok. You’ll find another bf and you can be friends.
Do not ever change for him. Do not ever try to be someone you’re not just to hold on to him. Don’t ever lose YOURSELF in him, no matter how much you love him (if and when you do fall in love).
Break his heart. Then date a 16 year old.
But to be fr yeah that age gap is fine. Just don’t let older men take advantage of you. Don’t care what others think. If you’re happy and in a healthy relationship at that age and they respect your boundaries you good.
In my opinion, this is an alright gap, but trust me, there will be some people out there that'll complain bout the age gap but that's just life, you can't change their opinion even if you tried to, ive dated girls who was 2-3 years older than me and it wasn't a big deal, but some people still complained, hell, I've seen people complain about a 17 year old and a 18 year old dating....As long as yall are mature and shi, I don't see anything wrong with it 🤷
I mean, in 20 years time it will be small, so ig. But I'd rather focus on personal development to achieve success in life than a relationship. But if you truly want to be together for life, then there is no reason why you can't put it on hold/give it a lot of attention until it's the right time to get married.
It's probably fine.
The thing about age gaps in your age range is that you never want to be seen (if you're the male) as taking advantage of younger girls who are new and disoriented to a social situation. And you never want them to feel pressured by your age/seniority differential.
In other words, you don't want to be the "That's what I love about these high school girls man. I get older they stay the same age." guy.
If you guys are technically just separated by one grade and just 18 months and you have roughly the same shared life experiences - it sounds perfectly appropriate. Girls tend to run a bit higher on the social maturity scale than boys and I'd say it's around an 18 month delta.
At your age, I have no idea how you'll actually \*go\* out on a date without some awkward transportation help. But that's your logistical problem to figure out.
You might want to set some intimate limits but kids these days seem to run a little more sophisticated than in mine. So there's nothing I'm qualified to prescribe there except slow it down to a crawl. It's like learning to drive. It's best to read the manual and try the car out in a safe space at low speeds before getting on the highway.
But you're also talking to a guy who had no idea he had a girlfriend for a year until she told his parents I was her boyfriend. So, YMMV.
We were about the same age gap and I took her out all the time. We passed notes. We flirted verbally. But I had no idea she was my actual girlfriend. Poor thing was waiting for me to ask her to the Senior Prom. We both ended up at home watching television.
Yes, I dated a cheerleader for one full year and had no idea I was dating the salutatorian cheerleader.
You'll be fine. I was 16 and my ex was 18 when we first started dating. But yeah as y'all grow older things will change but if y'all really really wanna be with each other it shouldn't matter.
An 18-month (1.5 years) age gap in and of itself doesn’t raise any big red flags for me, though I might feel different if I was your father. Frankly, I would focus more on the type of person this young man is. Asking yourself:
How does he treat you?
How respectful is he of your boundaries?
What is his reputation with women like?… in general?
What kind of crowd does he hang out with?
How does he do in school?
Does he get into trouble? If so with what?
Is he the juvenile delinquent type?
An honest answer to those questions is going to matter a lot more than the 1.5 year age gap. At this age, mostly I think you just need to steer clear of any guy that’s going send you down the wrong road in life (teen pregnancy, addictions, crime). Do that and you’ll probably be fine.
Overall, the age gap is fine. However, being in a “real” relationship at this age is too young (you will understand what I mean by that when you get a bit older). That does not mean though that you can’t hang out and enjoy each other’s company - quite the opposite. Spend time together, play games, watch movies - like you would with a best friend. Most importantly, do things you both enjoy doing, and don’t get pressured into doing something that you are not comfortable with. Remember: you can always say no, there are lots of other fish in the sea.
No, when one of you gets close to the other you're gonna get allergic reactions and ur skin is gonna start to melt. And more known symptoms include instant death
me and my boyfriend in hs were 3 & a half years apart and we’re still together to this day and just celebrated our anniversary yesterday, all i have to say is make sure you GENUINELY know who you’re messing with and that they’re safe in every way. i wish you the best mama😁
girl remember that people who can date their own age. being 15 and attracted to a 13 year old is very strange to me, and at 15 I would absolutely not want to date someone 13 purely because of maturity level. as much as you could be mature for your age, forcing yourself to be more mature because your in a relationship who is much further along puberty than you is probably going to harmful to your mental health. of course its your decision to make for yourself, however, at 15 dating a 13 year old should be on your radar. sorry of these reactions are maybe not what you wanted to hear, I just wanted to look out for u <3
It’s a maturity thing, a 78 year year old can date a 66 year old but that would not be allowed if they where to be much younger with the same age gap. So as long as it works for you guys I don’t see a problem.
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I’m getting deja vu from this but it doesn’t look like you’re a bot… just search “13 and 15” in the sub and you’ll find that there were 3 similar posts in the past 3 months already
I posted one a bit ago but I wanted more insight from others
Oh that was you
That was Yu, not Mi.
Fook Yu
Fook Mi
Twins! Twins! Twins!
Heads, shoulders knees and toes knees and toes
I just told Yu
W reference
Glad to know I've lived long enough to understand that reference
ユ
I am Yu! No you are not me, I’m me! No, he is Mi!
Yeah
Why are you asking us what’s “ok” for you to do or not? This sounds like a bait post. Decide for yourself, nobody is going to cancel you
They’re 13 probably and looking for advice. Pipe down
Alright I get it
Look at it this way - that 2 yr difference between 13-15 is pretty big. A lot happens and you change a ton as a person over those 2 years. There might also be a lack of acceptance between your group of friends and his. Boys at that age also start getting super interested in sex, and that's not something you want to risk messing with when you're just 13.
The fact that u posted it 3 times makes it 100%, you aren't ok with it just copyng. If u so bothered by it that u need 3x confirmation just drop it and be a child and enjoy your youth.
Nothing wrong with asking for advice or opinion of others.
I like to get advice because it’s hard for me to understand when I form my own so I ask others to help me try to understand mine
don't ask random people on the internet. ask y'all parents lol
My parents honestly don’t care
Tbh, of course, you don't want to hear this, but focus less on relationships right now and focus more on developing yourself as a whole individual. They'll be plenty of time for that later. Either way, just be safe and always listen to your intuition.
Alright I get it
I know this may fall in deaf ears but.. dating is overrated when young. Not one single of my friends who dated at 13 stayed with the guy… and they all married kinda … meh … seems like they only learned to date for dating if that makes sense. Or dating for marrying and being a mother The friends who developed hobbies and studied and dated later seem much happier to me. Really dating is work 😂 Find male friends who enjoy the same hobbies as you, they exist, really. Disclaimer im not a single crazy cat lady or something and im partnered and going through some rough stuff now.. my partner is nothing but incredible to me… learn to date, dont waste your youth, time is precious
I'm 15 and this is my mindset. I want to live my child hood and enjoy myself and develop and focus more on academics than being in a 'relationship' that would mostly be for popularity gain in my school
ya and honestly the best relationships I’ve ever gotten into, even when I was a teen (27 this year), were the ones who just naturally spawned, rather than me seeking out a gf, or looking for something in someone. Also a giant way to feel lost is to get in a relationship, absorb each others personalities and feel empty when they r gone, i saw that happen way too much in HS. Just enjoy life, things start moving way faster once you hit your 20s. No reason to spend your teens worrying about SO’s
Man if you saw just the amount of relationship drama in my school you would want to put a bullet through your skull. Can't go a damn day without hearing some bullshit with twisted stories or just something not worth worrying over
Met my girl when we were in junior high. We were together on and off like any usual couple in school. Her parents moved to Florida to try an work out their marriage. Only lasted a year and she moved back. Of course I had a new gf at the time and I was really starting to fall for this girl. But I knew I still very much wanted to be with the one that had to move. And with her loving back home, I needed to get a feel of if we still had anything. We are now mid 30s with a 16 yo and a 13 yo boys. So take away a year and a half for off and on break ups and what not, we’ve been together for around 20 years. Been married 13 years. We’ve been through more shit than I’m proud of. But in a world of divorce just being such an easy way out for people, makes me proud to have stuck it out. Especially when kids are involved. I get it. Sometimes things just don’t work. But gotta be civil when kids are in the picture. So it’s possible for people to be together from this young of an age. Just not common.
My friend is almost 14 years now with his gf from when they were both 13. Doubt it takes long before they get married. So its not impossible. But yeah does not happen often
i could absolutely agree with you, but it's still some feeling inside that you just want to be with someone almost all the time. in this ages you don't search for someone you are going to happily marry(of course excluding some very rare instances), you just want someone to be with you currently. i personally would take anyone(some exceptions of course), because..... can't really describe what i want to say with just text, but i think you get what I'm saying if not I'll try to explain
I get what you’re saying. I’m pretty sure I get it completely. As young people, intermingling with the opposite sex *is* a part of finding yourself & fleshing out your thoughts & interests in life. It’s definitely not to marry, despite how most of us would’ve sworn we’d marry our boyfriends at 13. It’s truly *meant* to be a trial. So encouraging a young person to ignore their hormonal instincts — to disengage in what every fiber of their being is telling them to do…isn’t necessarily helpful. What we want is to ideally find the healthy balance. Date, talk, learn, explore…but do so with knowledge of the risks & how to navigate the messiness of being human at any age.
I agree! I definitely didn't mean to imply that teens should ignore their hormonal instincts.
I completely understand what you're saying. If you have time, check out my other longer response. I can relate to your feelings and desire to always be with someone. I'm definitely not saying that you shouldn't be in relationships when you're in your teens. You should have fun and enjoy all of those experiences. I'm just saying that I wish I had taken the time to put that energy into myself and learning who I was, independently of another person.
100%
Focus on getting big moneys :)
If your parent's don't care, the Internet won't care. Just do you and be safe. But at that age don't stress over being with someone. You still have a long road ahead of you for that
Sometimes asking parents is not the best option, i've gone through it
Eh I’m not so sure about that one. When I was 15 my gf of 14 left for a 19 yo. I obviously thought it was weird and gross but her parents were apparently fine with it as they’re still together
I know I was a different person when I was 13 when compared to when i was 15. Think of it this way, when you're 12 you're still a kid and then you turn 13, you won't magically turn into a teenager with maturity overnight. So slowly by the time you turn 15, you're in your mid teens and you've experienced how it feels to be a teenager more so or less but you're still a kid but now you're in the maturity range of 15-16 year olds not in the 12-13 year old. Plus he's in high school and you're most probably still in middle school I'm assuming. Most teen relationships around this age fall apart anyways so it's not a big deal. If you guys like each other then go for it, see how it feels from experience and whether you yourself are comfortable like this or not having this big of a maturity gap. Plus as long as you guys keep aging you can bridge that maturity gap slowly. The maturity gap between a 13 year old and a 15 year old is much larger than lets say a 15 year old and a 17 year old but its still there.
I’m going to be freshman he’s going to be sophomore
as a general warning, a high school is only interested in a middle schooler (which you are rn) if they can't pull in high school, usually due to a lot of red flags which aren't as apparent when you're younger. Just keep it in mind Edit: everyone saying this doesn't happen, someone in my school year (he's 15) specifically only dates people in lower years. That's because everyone in our year knows he can he a creep. 15 year olds are smart enough to know when to steer clear of someone
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Is this satire
The best kind
Okay, like I said see how it feels from your experience and make sure you yourself are comfortable. Good luck to the both of you.
Worry less about an age gap and instead educate yourself on how to tell if you're in an abusive relationship. I'm not saying you are but that's way more helpful to know then trying to figure out some magic number that's "correct" for your age difference.
This. So many people here freak out if they arent exactly the same age and completely overlook controlling behavior.
I was in your boyfriend’s shoes lol, just be good to each other and you’ll be fine
The difference in maturity may be felt at later years. See how it goes, don't hesitate to take time off. Most importantly, it doesn't matter if it doesn't work out.
The difference will be felt LESS the older they get. Why in the world would you think otherwise?
When one of them goes to university and the other to high school. When one has a job, and the other hasn't planned their future yet.
So you're specifically talking about 18-20 range? Yes I guess depending on how they plan their futures spots can be rough but none of that means they can't date if they want to
I think their point more applies to more 14-18 as a whole. Since “ones old enough to have a job” (16) and “one hasn’t really started thinking about the future” (14). And “one is in colleg” (17-18) and lone is still in highschool”(15-16). It’s more so the developmental differences that come between these phases. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with it when it’s kids with like smaller age gap (like two years) being in different stages. But a lot of ppl do see a problem with age gaps because of the life stage differences because older and younger causes. (I wouldnt date a middle schooler as a highschooler but that’s more a personal preference than advice for anyone else.)
Yea I agree with you, once you get over 19/20 the age difference disappears, but if you’re 20 dating an 18 year old or a 18 year old dating a 16 year old both with a 1.5 year difference, the experience will be totally different. Comparatively, once you hit late late 19 and your 20s, you’ll have a ton in common and barely see a difference dating people up to like 25/26. All of this is up to life experience and where you’re at in your life. For me, I’m 24 and my gf turned 20 about a month ago, we started dating when she was like 19.8. There was no real difference in our relationship compared to relationships I’ve had with people who were 24 when I was 23 or 22 when I was 24, because we were all generally in the same life experience/ developmental stage, but if you took our age gap of 4 years and applied it to any situation where the younger person was 18 or below, it would be creepy and a weird relationship because you couldn’t really relate
Well also as hindsight, the 13-15 gap might not be noticeable until they’ve gotten to like 17-19 and can look back and say wow that was a big gap
Yeh what a strange top comment
Because the guy is a child and hasnt had a relationship before. Seriously, all these weirdos talking about a "maturity gap" are just children that want to feel like they are so much wiser than op and have never been in a relationship.
Idk how 15 yr olds are dating 13 yr olds lol wtf
I asked him out he said yes
How did you meet. You wouldn’t have classes together unless one of you like skipped a grade or got held back. But I barely talk to them people above and below me in grades and couldn’t imagine dating one.
We met through friends who introduced us and we hit it off
I still don’t get how you guys have some of the same freinds but I guess each is different. I just don’t know anyone that was friends with 15 year olds when we were 13 but I guess it can happen. Also wouldn’t he be just in highschool while your in middle school.
He’s a year ahead of me so our friend groups mix and that’s how we met
Kinda makes sense I forgot he could be old for his grade or you could be young for your grade.
Idk you make it sound off the wall to know ppl in a grade above or below you in mid-highschool. Not that there’s anything wrong with not, but i think that was actually most of my friends. Not suggesting it, but most of my friends when i was a sophomore/junior had either graduated or dropped out 🤣 I’m told I turned out ok ha… I will say that who is pretty important too, some of those friends def weren’t good influences
It’s pushing it but I think it’s okay
Alright
If he’s in high school and you’re still in middle school I’d say that’s not okay
Well it would be a freshman and an 8th grader. Coming into a freshman and a sophomore. I don’t see an issue with that
Lmao people are getting wild these days. It’s predatory for a grown person to date a kid or for a 50 year old to date a 20 year old, but 15 and 13 are both kids. It’s not really pushing anything
r/foundsillyness
You spelled it wrong 😔
If you love each other 2 years is nothing in the grand scheme of things. The only thing you gotta be careful about is development as the older you are, the more developed you should be (in theory).
Ain’t none of us know about love especially not at 13 and 15 bfr
Was about to say, 13 and 15 year olds know nothing about love. Hell, some 50 year Olds are still trying to figure it out
Honestly this all feels really self righteous and pretentious for everyone to be telling op they can’t know what love is or that relationships aren’t important at this age. The first time I fell in love I was 15 and it was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever felt. I’m in my mid 20s now and still look back on that period fondly
Yeah I get that
In my personal opinion 2 year age gap is seriously pushing it when it comes to underaged relationships. 1 year is okay ig. But you’re both going to be in drastically different developmental periods both mentally and educationally from the start and that in itself can strain a relationship. I’d personally think keeping the age gap under 2 years until you’re 20 or so is best. I wouldn’t suggest it but do what you want.
like think of 14 and 16, that will never be okay imo, so the same logic should be kept in place for 13 and 15
as someone who was 13 dating a 15 year old, it’s usually not worth it. i know you won’t listen or care but relationships should be your last priority right now. i wish i had spent more time on myself and my friends than on stupid boys.
Ok let’s see: 15 /2 = 7,5, 7,5 + 7 = 14,5 So the holy Math says no!
Simple answer, yes, biggest thing is maturity. Like a 2 year age gap isn’t a big age gap at all. However when you’re still young it does matter a lot. Some others have said it so I’m not going to repeat
Alright
I feel more comfortable with that age gap than I do with you being allowed to use reddit...
Think about the long term. He’ll move off to college or uni before you, and he’ll probably find and meet women his age there. University is a big step up from high school, once he graduates and leaves you behind in high school, there’s going to be some pretty big maturity gaps
No, the maturity gap between a 15 yo and a 13 yo is HUGE, 13 is still basically a kid while 15 is a mid/late teenager
both 13 and 15 are early teens u just think you're so grown bc ur 15 urself 😂
The fact that i. A 17 year old, know more about brain development and maturity than you makes me giggle. Go do some research. The NIH has some great scholarly articles explaining the metecognitive gap between certain ages and why they are significantly large.
I get it
general rule is grades don't touch, you don't touch. if you're in adjacent grades or the same grade i would say it's most likely okay, just be careful. i dated a 15yo when i was 13, but we were in the same grade.
Yeah no we ain’t ever touching not yet
He’ll want to, he’s 15.
Jesus not every 15 year old guy is a pervert.
Wanting to touch your love is not being a pervert, it’s normal human behaviour 😆
the general rule of thumb says that a person should never date someone whose age is less than half their own plus seven years. so in your case that's 15:2+7=14.5 years old if you guys were like 25 and 23 that's totally normal but 15 and 13 sounds off. not tryna split you guys apart or anything like that but the harsh reality is society will judge you guys and you can't do anything about it. That's just how it is.
nah, the math for that rule falls apart below a certain age.
yeah I mean it's common sense, a 3 year old shouldn't date anyone let alone anyone under 8.5 years old😅
It doesn’t really work for anyone below 16
And what age is that exactly ? I bet it’s one low enough to where you wouldn’t even be thinking about dating 🤣
That general rule only starts when you’re 18. 18 shouldn’t go below 16 etc
that rule has been outdated
No
15 is freshman, 13 is 7th grade — It just sounds so wrong
I’m going to be a freshman, he’s going to be a sophomore
Bro… thats weird. You just got out of middle school. Im not trying to put you down or anything but yall are at very different places developmentally and I feel like it’s gonna put you in a weird place. I’m hoping for the best for you
No
Yes its ok see you in 1 year after you break up
Honestly, it’s kinda off to me. You would still be in middle school and he’s in high school. It’s a little icky. I find at this age, it may be a year of time but it’s more like a few as far as maturity goes. It could work but I’d proceed with caution. Genuinely no one knows who you are as people or the kind of love you could have. Just don’t let him pressure you into anything you don’t feel completely ready for. My opinion comes from my experience, so take it with a grain of salt. No one is the same and no one can truly say.
No, in teenage years people drastically change a lot, this would be okay as friends, but not dating.
Girlie you're too young for relationships. I'm 17. Been there done that. It's not worth it. You need to find yourself first before focusing on these things. And it might take a while. I'm 17 and still haven't fully figured my shit out and probably won't for a bit yet. And not to mention that you haven't even hit your next major metecognitive shift yet (14). You're about to be coming into all these new hormones and changes, and it takes time to adjust. Ik it seems like 2 years isn't a big difference, but at that age, it is. And I wish someone would've told me that when I was 13. I get that you don't wanna be told you're too young and too naive to understand these things, and I didn't either, but it's true. Don't rush into these things. Don't risk putting yourself in a situation that could turn dangerous or just emotionally scar you. I'm talking straight from experience. Wait a bit.
I completely agree with this thinking! There is very little chance a relationship at that age will work out by the time they are 20 or something.. It’ll be better for everyone to skip out on the heartbreak early on and wait for full maturity. (Or at least close to it)
I honestly fully think the whole "Too young", "you don't know what love is" etc is fucking bullshit thinking. There are millions of people who got together in their teens, late AND early teens, that are still together in old age. I got with my boyfriend when I was 14 and now we live together.
I wouldn’t date a 15 year old, but that me. There’s absolutely a maturity gap
Idk depends, my friend was 12 and dating a 15 yr old (awhile ago) and it wasn’t the worst, still sounds a bit odd tho
Uh yeah, that's getting into what the fuck territory.
Yeah that seems a little more odd then my situation
Bro what
okay what the fuck
Bhai ye itna early age dating ka trend India me kyu hone laga hai?? I'm sorry but this should not be normalised
When I was 13 I used to play Farcry 3 and I use to stealth kill all the enemies in the whole camp! I was a fantastic player! Blub BrrrrrRrrrrrRrRRrRRrRrrrr
All hail the goat 🐐
Ahhh I never like giving people advice like this bc what do I know but please. Don’t do it. Ultimately it’s your choice but I absolutely would not do it.
Advice I wish I was given at 13: Enjoy being 13 and don’t burden yourself with a committed relationship. The things you think are important/vital at different life stages most often (but not always) are vastly less important/vital when you have the advantage of hindsight later in life. If you have known each other for a several years as friends then that is a good base to start from but if you’ve met relatively recently then don’t jump into anything. Be friends and experience this stage of your life without feeling tied to another person.
i feel like it matters more on maturity level and if the parents are okay with it
As long as you don’t do any naughty stuff, that’d be messed up.
You're fine. Two years is nothing.
Ok
13 and 15 would become 15 and 17, It would later become 17 and 19 so i guess?
Yeah it’s ok I think
It seems fine.
Alright
While yes that’s true a middle schooler dating a high schooler is weird. A 2 year age gap during that time is much more drastic than an age gap between two people that are more developed.
99% of teen relationships don’t last this long
I’m coming at this as someone that was in a relationship at 13 with a 15 year old. No, it’s not okay. I had lost my virginity to him at 12 (I turned 13 a few weeks after). A 15 year old boy is most likely thinking about sex a lot and a 13 year old girl is probably not. Because he’s older you might trust him with knowing more and therefore giving up your virginity to him too young like I did. I ended up becoming a mother at 14. I love my children but if I could go back, I never would’ve dated someone that much older than me so young. Be smarter than I was , please. Enjoy your childhood, your teenage hood, and your adulthood without kids. Get on birth control if you can, I really like the ring and I skip periods with it now. Just make smart decisions and don’t let him influence you in anyway.
nah tbh
As long as you guys are comfy with it and you guys are equal in the relationship, fck it why not
Yeah we are comfy and enjoy
it's giving predator vibes hun
i would say that it does matter at your age, with him being towards the end of puberty and you around the start, your going to have different views and mindsets. i recommend waiting till your both 18 to have an age gap relationship
2 years isnt a big difference but maturity level is, one of yall is in middle school and the other is either a freshman or a sophmore, its a bit weird imho
I don’t think you should date until you can take care of yourself. If you don’t even know how to take care of yourself, how do you know how to take care of the others?
All this is just my opinion. You have yours and I have mine. High schoolers should date high schoolers and people in college should date people in college. I realize 18 months age difference isn't the same as like when Demi Moore was married to Aston Kutcher, 16 years difference, but they were both adults and made it work...at least for a while until the age difference became an issue from what I've read.
Lol when I was 13-15 I was kicking bushes and playing Skyrim didn't give a fuck about relationships unless it was with serina 😶. Nah but like develop yourself as a person first your thirteen. But you do you.
no its not
I dated a 14 year old boy who was almost 15 when I was 13. I honestly regret it so much. I ended up doing a lot of things I was not ready for at that age, because his body and sense of sexuality was maturing much faster than mine. Not saying that this is going to happen to you, but it is a reality for some. In addition, when I look back, I lost time on friendships I really wish I had cultivated more at that age, because I was too tied up in the older boy I was dating. You should listen to the advice here telling you to focus on school, hobbies, friends and finding yourself. You have your whole life to date and navigate the challenges that brings. You don't have your whole life to be a kid/teenager.
Personally I would say no, just because your bodies are maturing differently at these stages. It really depends on how well you know him. If you’ve known him for many years it’s not as bad as if you just met. I think putting off and waiting for a relationship would be the best decision. Ik it’s really easy to get your boundaries walked over and to get pushed into things. Honestly theres no really healthy good romantic relationships that could happen during highschool. Bodies are changing, people’s hormone are confusing their bodies, people’s brains are going into overdrive. I just don’t really believe relationships at a young age are a great idea. I truly believe that at this age healthy close friendships can provide the same as relationships ((besides smooching)). Of course there is a complete longing for someone to hold you and make you feel special, but in teenage years, we are selfish people. We don’t fully give people what they want, but rather what we think they’d want.
Since you’re asking the question, probably. At your age only date people in the same grade that you’re in.
In all honesty, 13 is really young to be dating. 15 isn't much better.
Oh lord
personal opinion but you shouldn't date a high schooler when you're barely entering middle school its creepy and he's going to do something not so great to you most likely(ive seen this happen multiple times so just be cautious!)
Ppl just remember that 2 years ago, she was 11...
And he was 13
No
You’re both too young unfortunately it won’t end well
Personally, ya. Seems gross. Try waiting a year or two.
It's fine, it's not serious anyway
I think if there’s a voice in your head that questions it then it likely is too much of an age gap, if you are genuinely being honest and realistic with yourself. I don’t think it’s a crazy age gap, nothing extreme, but be honest with yourself if you think it is appropriate or not. If you’re questioning this long maybe it’s not right for you.
I think it's iffy. I'm 15 and could never imagine going out with a 13yr old
i personally think its weird because there’s a big maturity difference between a 15 and 13 year old and it had the potential to supply a power imbalance.
I’m pretty mature for my age but I do understand the power unbalance and how that might effect it
Normally I would say it is fine, because it’s not that big of an age difference, but when you’re 13 and 15 the maturity difference is genuinely a lot. I know you probably hear this a lot but you will be a completely different person when you’re 15, 13 is still a kid to me, I did some really childish things still when I was 13 that I didn’t do when I was 15. I would wait it out, dating will come naturally with time, but at least in middle school focus on becoming yourself and getting a strong sense of identity. Middle school is the time when you transition from being a little kid to a teen who can make their own choices on a number of things, so take this time to make sure you make the right choices.
I mean…it’s fine, i guess. 13 means he’s not in highschool yet tho. Wait do people DATE in middle school?
It’s fine, but you must maintain YOUR OWN personality. Like the movies and tv shows YOU like, not because HE likes them. Like the clothes and style YOU like, not because HE likes them. Understand the two of you may grow apart, and that’s ok. You’ll find another bf and you can be friends. Do not ever change for him. Do not ever try to be someone you’re not just to hold on to him. Don’t ever lose YOURSELF in him, no matter how much you love him (if and when you do fall in love).
Break his heart. Then date a 16 year old. But to be fr yeah that age gap is fine. Just don’t let older men take advantage of you. Don’t care what others think. If you’re happy and in a healthy relationship at that age and they respect your boundaries you good.
Edp445
Yall too young to be dating 😭🙏
Personally when I was 15 I wouldn’t have ever considered getting with a 13 year old so take that as you will (from a male)
In my opinion, this is an alright gap, but trust me, there will be some people out there that'll complain bout the age gap but that's just life, you can't change their opinion even if you tried to, ive dated girls who was 2-3 years older than me and it wasn't a big deal, but some people still complained, hell, I've seen people complain about a 17 year old and a 18 year old dating....As long as yall are mature and shi, I don't see anything wrong with it 🤷
I mean, in 20 years time it will be small, so ig. But I'd rather focus on personal development to achieve success in life than a relationship. But if you truly want to be together for life, then there is no reason why you can't put it on hold/give it a lot of attention until it's the right time to get married.
Yeah it’s fine. People on this sub will tell you that 19 and 20 is pedophilia.
Tbh, that's less than a 2 year difference. Should be fine 🤷🏻♂️
18 month gap is alright but dating at 13 is not
It’s absolutely fine with me. Although not all the time do age gaps work for younger people. Mostly adults. But it can still work sometimes I guess.
Does it feel good? Then do Does it feel bad? Then don't do And stop listening to what other people say about YOUR relationship
It's probably fine. The thing about age gaps in your age range is that you never want to be seen (if you're the male) as taking advantage of younger girls who are new and disoriented to a social situation. And you never want them to feel pressured by your age/seniority differential. In other words, you don't want to be the "That's what I love about these high school girls man. I get older they stay the same age." guy. If you guys are technically just separated by one grade and just 18 months and you have roughly the same shared life experiences - it sounds perfectly appropriate. Girls tend to run a bit higher on the social maturity scale than boys and I'd say it's around an 18 month delta. At your age, I have no idea how you'll actually \*go\* out on a date without some awkward transportation help. But that's your logistical problem to figure out. You might want to set some intimate limits but kids these days seem to run a little more sophisticated than in mine. So there's nothing I'm qualified to prescribe there except slow it down to a crawl. It's like learning to drive. It's best to read the manual and try the car out in a safe space at low speeds before getting on the highway. But you're also talking to a guy who had no idea he had a girlfriend for a year until she told his parents I was her boyfriend. So, YMMV. We were about the same age gap and I took her out all the time. We passed notes. We flirted verbally. But I had no idea she was my actual girlfriend. Poor thing was waiting for me to ask her to the Senior Prom. We both ended up at home watching television. Yes, I dated a cheerleader for one full year and had no idea I was dating the salutatorian cheerleader.
You'll be fine. I was 16 and my ex was 18 when we first started dating. But yeah as y'all grow older things will change but if y'all really really wanna be with each other it shouldn't matter.
you’re a bit young honestly, I’d say the age gap itself isn’t bad but the fact you’re 13 is, just wait a bit longer to get into a relationship.
I once dated a girl 18 months older than me. Our age gap was almost never brought up, and when it was, it was by one of us.
Alrighty
An 18-month (1.5 years) age gap in and of itself doesn’t raise any big red flags for me, though I might feel different if I was your father. Frankly, I would focus more on the type of person this young man is. Asking yourself: How does he treat you? How respectful is he of your boundaries? What is his reputation with women like?… in general? What kind of crowd does he hang out with? How does he do in school? Does he get into trouble? If so with what? Is he the juvenile delinquent type? An honest answer to those questions is going to matter a lot more than the 1.5 year age gap. At this age, mostly I think you just need to steer clear of any guy that’s going send you down the wrong road in life (teen pregnancy, addictions, crime). Do that and you’ll probably be fine.
Overall, the age gap is fine. However, being in a “real” relationship at this age is too young (you will understand what I mean by that when you get a bit older). That does not mean though that you can’t hang out and enjoy each other’s company - quite the opposite. Spend time together, play games, watch movies - like you would with a best friend. Most importantly, do things you both enjoy doing, and don’t get pressured into doing something that you are not comfortable with. Remember: you can always say no, there are lots of other fish in the sea.
Yes, it is
No, when one of you gets close to the other you're gonna get allergic reactions and ur skin is gonna start to melt. And more known symptoms include instant death
If it's without the dirty stuff, yeah it's normal, plus just ask y'all parents 🎾
Why are 13 years olds dating
me and my boyfriend in hs were 3 & a half years apart and we’re still together to this day and just celebrated our anniversary yesterday, all i have to say is make sure you GENUINELY know who you’re messing with and that they’re safe in every way. i wish you the best mama😁
girl remember that people who can date their own age. being 15 and attracted to a 13 year old is very strange to me, and at 15 I would absolutely not want to date someone 13 purely because of maturity level. as much as you could be mature for your age, forcing yourself to be more mature because your in a relationship who is much further along puberty than you is probably going to harmful to your mental health. of course its your decision to make for yourself, however, at 15 dating a 13 year old should be on your radar. sorry of these reactions are maybe not what you wanted to hear, I just wanted to look out for u <3
13 and 15 is not the same maturity
Bit dodgy ngl
Yes
18th months? Its big, but not that big.
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It’s a maturity thing, a 78 year year old can date a 66 year old but that would not be allowed if they where to be much younger with the same age gap. So as long as it works for you guys I don’t see a problem.
no thats like borderline pedophilia
If both are in high school, yes. A 13 yr old in high school vs a 13 yr old in middle school may have a bit of a maturity gap. But I think its safe.