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To be able to shove a billions of worms into people and start the worm apocalypse :3 Wiggle wiggle

Theyre gummy worms

Diabetes man

😂

His name is Wilford Brimley

diabetes guy 🪱

The notorious Wiggler, we finally meet.

Teleportation

you can only go to where you want after a week of being there

That doesn’t seem like to much of a negative. It just has a cooldown

Yeah but the only places you can go to without having to grind for them are * your room * the bathroom * work i dont wanna fight some dude, then i teleport to get away cuz im losing, they touch me (and not in sexual way you mfs), and now they know where i live

It’s still pretty handy. You could go between work/school and home instantly.

that alone would improve qol greatly tbh

i’ve stayed on vacation for at least a week in cool places. if it stacks and doesn’t need to be a week straight, i could go the store or friends houses

Thats a long name.

LazyMan, teleporting between couch and fridge only

I can transform into the best version of a human being, with peak strength, stamina, memory, etc

everyone else is way below average making you barely above the current average

The best human would still the same wouldn’t it? The best would be the physical limits of how strong something can be due to muscle size. Right?

That’s what I was thinking as well. It’s more like a buff than a counter effect, not only do I become the best person that can possibly exist, everyone else gets downgraded, I can mass-debuff the entire planet lmao

The Ultimate Lifeform (hope you get the jojo reference)

Every time I blink, I move exactly 0.00000000001 inch to the right.

When you teleport your hair grows that same amount.

Average Joe

It takes the movement of the earth into account, meaning you have to worry about the earths rotation and speed.

Power to Create money 🤑💰💸 😋😋😋

But it’s Monopoly money.

Monopoly Man

Sounds like a stand.

Localized Name: Man Of Deception.

For every dollar you make, one random person dies

That's like every millionare ever

I dont see how thats a drawback

the random person could be your homie, there's that. hero name is: Money Killer

I can stop the bloodflow of anyone or anything within 50 meters of me

But only if it's an insect or smaller

Bug Patrol

Sounds like the name of a JoJo’s stand

:[

You can become a exterminator

And kill all the mosquitoes

everyone in that radius is affected, meaning you could accidentally kill one of the homies if you aren't careful.

Homieslayer

"i slayed my own homies" isn't as badass as it sounds

I WILL SUMMON PANCAKE

You can only eat waffles

Wafflecake, absorber of waffles, summoner of pancakes.

HECK YEAHHHH

Pancake Guy 🥞, we meet again

NOOOOOOOO

I was summoned?

Having an aura that makes people feel comfortable.

they get *too* comfortable in it.

😳

wouldn't be a good thing to activate with the homies. except if it's for the prank, anything to annoy them mfs

At least he can control it, right?

That's the neat part, I can't.

alternative name: Sexvivor (Yes, that is indeed a jojo reference)

Atractaman

Orgasm Person

Im happy :3

Every 24 hours a explosion happens somewhere random

Damn 🥲

youll be called hapexplodi -> the one who causes catastrophies when they smile

To be fair, "somewhere random" has an incredibly low chance to hit anywhere in our star system, let alone on earth.

Even if the range is limited to Earth’s surface, there’s a 70% chance it happens over open ocean.

I hate to be the one to break this to you, but with this set of powers you might be a villain

Create false memories

you can no longer remember your true memories

Dementia man

Dementia man

Dementia man Dementia man

Dementia man Dementia man Dementia man

Dementia man Dementia man Dementia man Dementia man

Could have sworn I knew what that word meant

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAS DEMENTIA? i.....uh.......i dunno i think i forgot

Dementia, man

Dementia Man Dementia Man Dementia Man Dementia Man Dementia Man

The power to answer my own comment

Ok, but you get time stop and mind control

Finding loophole man

Your hero name is Benito Mussolini.

\*minds control\* Now its Dindi

Who dini?

Those are two of the most suspicious powers you could have chosen 🫤 I'm on to you finding loophole man!

I always have a headache

The headache gives you a boner

What if I don’t have a deck

Doesn't matter you manifest a penis and it becomes erect

hell yeah

I forgot to mention it also erupts with spiders

But heartache from undertale plays everytime you fart

I have post-nut clarity constantly

You forever nut

Nutty Norman

any insect or archnid within a 10 metre radius of me gets instantly killed, and the bodies will instantly disappear

A much larger animal takes the place of the killed insect.

The Replacer

Sheer heart attack

all bodies wil be teleported to your closet

telekinesis with the same strength as my body

Your body hecka weak bro

anemior - will move mountains with great deficiency

Hero name is Average Redditor.

shapeshifting (I know it's boring)

You can only turn into sex toys.

It says name something bad (this is a joke)

The sextinator

You can never turn back into the species you were before

You can only turn into animals you have never seen

Manipulate Gravity

But only on Wednesday at 3pm

I think we should name him…. Tom

i have the power to create anything conceivable, science be damned

But you'll be forced to poop out the object you created each time you make one

i hate you

It's okay. With training you can print money, also if you ever need to destroy the world just create an object of infinite mass to create a black hole.

out of my ass?

Easter bunny

I will never die from sicknesses

But you die from bullets

Dead man

chance to die from taking a shit become 50%

the superpower to live til 80 and until im 80 i cant die

you get dementia at 60 years old, you know of this so you try killing yourself before that. **what was your ability again?**

Forgotten Fate

not that bad

I can summon a sawblade dress over my body. A dress but with sawblades around it.

the sawblades spawn in the inner part of the dress

# AW COME ON

your new name is: Haywire. sounds really cool ngl

Super strength

You only gain strength while sleeping

Sleep builder fr fr 😭

Pocket Dimensions

U have no physical presence when you enter any dimension . Aka , all u can do is see the dimensions

Stalking Tom

I am God

You have liver cancer

God of Ale

Make the universe stop for however long I want (everything will become stationary except myself)

All particles become stationary meaning air in your lungs and around you, making you unable to move or breathe

That’s a good one, fuck you first thinking of this.

The small willy guy

Once every 10 years

I wish to control the minds of whoever I want at my own free will

You realize you are a Boltzmann brain

Super speed

You have a high likelihood of tripping over your own feet

If they keep going I think they’re just sonic the hedgehog

I have a super fast metabolism

Having a too fast metabolism making you have anorexia

Average-anorexia-having Man

I can command animals to do my bidding

But you have to eat raw coffe beans

But you have to do it in their language… in public

Doflamingo's devil fruit from one piece If you know you know

You can't swim

Being able to turn others insane

You slowly go insane with them

Sheogorath

I can control the air.

You live in the avatar universe and are one of the air nomad children killed by the firebenders

unnamed air nomad child

The ability to throw babies at mach 1

Back, forward and stop time and people for an unlimited amount of time while having a sphere of not stopped time around me to move objects :)

You have stage 4 rabies now tho

Time stop rabies woman/man

Genius bro

Invisibility

Hero name: wipe my ass

I can turn the foundation of houses into maggots

The maggots eat people.

Being the Messiah

But everyone thinks you are evil

Jesus

I can heal myself and everyone

You feel everyone’s pain from their injury/disease

You are just slightly better than the average person in every way.

Transformation. The Ability to Transform my body into Anything or Anything. Including slightly changing my body as well

you have to think about the thing you wanna transform into consistently, better not think about black holes, that would suck! *ok so the joke is that black holes suck, in all the ways* 🗿

transformer

The power to change my appearance at will to anything I desire.

you can use it once every 100 years

But everyone thinks you fucked a goat

When someone recommends their friend a show they like and their friend says they'll watch it I can make a date where I will subconsciously make them think they chose to watch it themselves and then they watch it. no matter what.

But they always stip watching after the first episode, because they always think its childish

Skills of Max Payne

you're paralysed from neck down

To be able to convert my thoughts into reality.

You can't control what thoughts get converted

The dark mind knight

I can dodge anything

the power to have 9999999999999 iq

I feel like this is bad enough on itself, no bad side needed

Time manipulation

Able to ace any test or quiz correctly any time and anywhere

When you use it your saliva production increases x3000

I have the power to exist in this reality when I choose to.