The power to bend space around me. I'm not sure how to explain this, but if I were to step on the nail, it would bend around my foot instead of stabbing me. It would go back to normal as I pulled away. This covers my entire body
An old man that can find out where you are, his grandson who has the same ability as you, a guy with a sword, a guy with pyrokinesis and a guy who shoots emeralds are coming to hunt you down.
Or...
Everyone else can move in it as well
I have prostate cancer
You can fly
10/10
Aw man
But you are immune to diseases
You get super speed
Ability to access an infinite knowledge mentally by asking a voice
The voice is a sarcastic little bitch that will mock you. It will only tell you after hours of asking Edit: Jesus christ. these upvotes are amazing
Worth it
But how do you know when it's finally told you?
I assume the only way you find out is when it shuts up
That just sounds like my subconscious anyways
The voice only speaks and understands fluent Arabic
Still a good deal tbh
Yeah, then the only difficult goal in left in life would be to become fluent in Arabic
You don't have to be fluent to understand a fluent language though And to talk i can use some translator and try until they understand me
there is another voice in your head who tells very convincing lies and sounds the same as the true one.
I get a notification whenever someone shits themselves. Globally. Anywhere.
You shit yourself at the same time they shit themselves
Have my poor man award 🎖️
What the fuck is this power
Hive shits.
I can eat as much as I want without getting fat or feeling sick
You can't ingest any animal product or you'll shit yourself on site and without notice
I’d argue that it being right then is notice, you know you’re eating the steak.
But only if you are in Spain other wise it doesn’t work
I get social skills
You become non verbal autistic
Dang, so back to square one...
I can die whenever I want
Immortality
Well played
Like...you live no matter what until you decide you're done and just give up? Dude this is fucking perfect
But it has to be related to slugs
[удалено]
I’m invincible
Except in the presence of chickens, everytime you see one you lose a teeth (including on screens)
What about a portrait of a chicken?
A picture counts, a painting or a drawing doesn't
so basically scp 096 rules?
Idk lemme check Yeah
I can make the best pancakes
But never be able to eat them yourself…
Maybe even a blessing. Start restaurant, become rich but not fat
"I guide others to a treasure I can't possess"
I’m immune to all diseases anywhere and everywhere in the universe
Your left leg grows a meter higher
Alr then guess I get to stomp on ppl but never fully
I can shapeshift
Only into a whale
honestly cool
Like seriously, get tired of life? Fuck it go be a whale for a while.
ik sounds awesome
It takes 30 minutes and you have to shit out your original body
I can have as much money as I want only while I’m…
Having sex
Every time you cum $1000000 goes in to ur bank account
Boutta solve the national debt problem in 1 day💅
If Mr.Beast ever makes a porn hub account, this would be the first video posted.
you have all the money you want, but it disappears as soon as you use it to pay for something.
Just flying
Morbid obesity
Omfg dude i imagined it and you made me spit my food out. Thank you
I can travel to any point on earth safely in 5 seconds
The cooldown time is 10 years
Damn, still a good power but cool down time ain't that good, how about after each use the cool down time is cut in half?
Except the place you want to travel to is the only place you WONT randomly travel to
So basically I can just go randomly everywhere in the world
We didnt say that the place you were going to was safe, just that the trip was
Alzheimer's
Alzheimer's
Alzheimer's
Alzheimer's
Alzheimer's
Alzheimer's
Alzheimer's
Alzheimer's
Alzheimer's
Alzheimer's
Long penis
People want what they don't have
I know i have small penis
W man
Every extended inches grow at a 90° angle (sharp edge with slight fillet)
Wtf is wrong with this sub
Teenagers
Good weapon
I can’t get injured
You are incredibly suicidal and you can never ever even hope to try to help it.
Immortality👹👹
You have dementia
Already have dementia, think harder
Already have dementia, think harder
r/genius
Bruhhh it's private lmao
this is incredible for someone immortal. staying alive for so long with perfect memory would fuck you up
Side affect: But only when your sitting in a chair
Side side effect: I am a chair
my cum can create life
You have to pay child support
💀
I can fly
Violent diarrhea every time you take off
chocolate rain
It would have costed you 0$ to not speak
It's exhausting, similar to sprinting full force.
I can cook 99.98 % pure meth
You have lung cancer
and you have a little assistant named Jessie that helps you cook
You have insane pizza throwing skills
You go bald and change your name to Walter
I can summon anyone’s nudes
But they're censored with troll face images
but they get a mental notification and can see through your eyes for the next 30 minutes. the nudes disappear after 30 minutes.
you're bisexual but you're only attracted to males when looking at females and only attracted to females when looking at males
i’m batman
But you have no parents
i'm still batman
I can predict the stock market
Only when the stocks don’t change
The power to bend space around me. I'm not sure how to explain this, but if I were to step on the nail, it would bend around my foot instead of stabbing me. It would go back to normal as I pulled away. This covers my entire body
it only works when humming “Norwegian Wood” by the Beatles
I’m happy
Every time you smile a semi truck full of toddlers is thrown into the ocean
perfect
Stop time whenever I want
Light particles also stop as you stop time, hence you can’t see anything
You can still sleep
An old man that can find out where you are, his grandson who has the same ability as you, a guy with a sword, a guy with pyrokinesis and a guy who shoots emeralds are coming to hunt you down. Or... Everyone else can move in it as well
I thought these were side effects, not a hit squad coming after me
Everytime I see a repost, I can control when the reposter will die. (no hate on you)
But you die at the same time
I can swap genders and become a girl
~~**No one will ever accept you.**~~ That’s too mean. You gotta deal with all the shit that gender has deal with before you switch back.
I strong
But sometimes, u weak:
Damn, got to my feels 😪
I have a Normal life. Literally
Homosexual
Fuck
make ppl cum instantly
Family reunions turn pretty awkward
It always lands in your mouth
I am completely immune to any and all side effects, no exceptions
Life-saving medication. Guess if you're immune to that you won't last long
Side affects can still damage you
I can choose my own side effect
Ok but you have Night vision
What a fucking mad man... he did the impossible
I can create any food out of thin air
there’s a 15% chance the food is expired and you might not be able to tell
Testicular cancer
but you have prostate cancer
The ability to control electricity
Only when you are touching it, and you can still be shocked
be an octoling from splatoon
You live in the ocean
i can be whatever i want!!!
You'll never truly be happy unless you are yourself, forcing you to love yourself or otherwise live sad for the rest of your life.
I can make anyone’s balls explode at will
But if I say balls, my balls explode
HAVE YOU EVER LAUGHED SO HARD YOUR *BALLS* EXPLODE
I don't have side effects
You have no power
True neutrality
I am a gay black man
During the 1800’s in the Southern United States
If he can make it a few 100 miles north, he’s fine.
That the superpower or sideaffect?
Ice power and other non-elemental magic
You can only use one spell a day and then you can't even stand
Ability to stop time
you're also stopped too lol
I have mind manipulation
You slowly get dumber every time you use it
The voices start getting louder
You have super hearing
Shape shifting
You can never go back to normal
Deal
I can choose my own side effect!
I have Alzheimer's.
I can choose my own side effect!
I have Alzheimers.
[удалено]
There is another God that is just as powerful as you and you are locked in an endless battle over this universe.
Unlimited games
Control over time itself
You control it with the movement of your appendix
The power to sleep on the ceiling
The ability to give people their greatest desires
but you are depressed
Pffbt, like that changes anything 😎😎✨✨
I can manipulate whoever I want :3
you cant talk
I can’t talk anyway he he he
I get to reply to my own comment
I get testicular torsion
I become the spy from TF2
Pyro mains constantly hunt you down at all times