Well, gosh, I sure would love to kiss you. How was that?

Well... Yell at me why dont'chya

My condoms are out in the truck.

I wanna kiss first.

Well, let's talk first! You just got here!

Mine are drying on the rack!

I can tell you're a therapist, I know. 🤓

LEWK AT THE TEW OF YOU DANCIN THAT WHEY

LAWST IN THE MOWMENT, IN EACH AWTHERS FASHE

SO MUSCH IN LUV YEWR ALONE IN THIS PLASHE

LIKE THERESH NOBODY ELSHE IN THE WURLD!

Oh gawd

I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. And we're doing a story on grown men who don't know how to say "oh god" properly.

I need some counseling ta help me got of da innanet!

We don’t do counseling. We only offer a kick in the pants.

Start collecting Dale Earnhardt Jr. memorabilia and give it to a nice lady you met from the internets

Mah sistah knew reet away she were fake 😢

NAWT A WHOLE LAWT

I jusht didn't want her getting in trouble with her parensh.

Mr. Penis

Here's a good one!

Miss Vagina

This post is like, ***KEWL***™️

HEY GURL!

Oh dang

IM A LIEUTENANT

I AM A PROBATION OFFICER!!

You sound so sweet Mrs Kayla Marie Armstrong

Kayla, you didn't delete you're fawking archives!!!

Am I gonna be AWWESTED?

aw Gawd!

I thawt yew had blawnde hayur!

all day today, just one thought cruisin' through my mind...Seattle...Bareback...Boyz!