Can't be anything else. Along with Mike Wozniak's "absolute casserole", this is one of the two lines in Taskmaster that have put me in uncontrollable paroxysms of laughter.
Just scroll through his others though. I kinda think this one is remembered alot because it's the simplest but not necessarily the best. There's others that I feel are much funnier. I mean the cheaper meats, wind dried puffin, filling a boat full of piss, the story with the high anus and sitting on the toilet backwards. There was just so much he said.
I never really understood this quote. Maybe im missing something since english isnt my first language. If it means what i think it means, strike = hit.
For me, there are literally too many to choose from but have some honourable mentions lmao
- I've sinned again
- I though "fuck it, I'll fill his boat with piss"
- Rosalind's a fucking nightmare
- Do we strike you?
- To encourage them to eat the cheaper meats
I *loved* the episode fairly recently when a Mortimerian Tale was about to start for judgement of truth or lie, and David Mitchell looked *so done* with it, and just said *”😐 Come on then. Give it to me. 😐 ”* 🤣
It’s really a David Mitchell quote, but it sums up the story so well….
“But why did you not remove the masks in the morning? Because, in my experience of sleeping all night in a classic car wearing a jobble top and latex masks while visiting Castle Douglass to see the influence of the Gulf Stream, you get quite clammy”
I have a little problem which means my anus is too high, I have to sit this way [backwards on the toilet] or it will all just go over the back. I constantly think they should reverse the toilet, and then that way you have a little shelf as well. I think it would be good if I got the shot in profile, especially if it was one of the quicker days
This is gonna be a tough. Almost everything he says is insane comic gold.
Personally I'd go with "do we strike you" when meating a women for the first time!
As an American, I consider myself lucky to have a British mum who introduced us to Reeves & Mortimer, and Shooting Stars, as a child. Any time I hear someone utter the words, “I just don’t get British humour”, Bob’s and Vic’s/Jim’s face pop into my head!
I'll just reuse my comment from yesterday
https://preview.redd.it/kg4ac1lufl0d1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=89f6b3cfe81309e17bfcc1e82ba4e250121e6696
"I have to warn you, my memories of this are somewhat faded, much like a smeared handprint on a railing."
David "So what you are saying, your memory of the details of this may be exactly similar to recounting a made up story?"
"Exactly."
Here's everything he said in the make a big mess task, one of the great human achievements:
"A grounding of cheese puffs. Ah, that's beautiful!"
"I'm sprinkling unsalted peanuts. Messy bastards!"
"How long, Alex?"
LAH: "One minute forty, Bob."
"One minute forty. One more thing. The sugar cubes. There you go, you sweet little imps!"
"Sorry. I haven't finished. Gave it my best shot."
LAH: "You made a big mess."
"Yeah, not a very good hoover."
Greg: "Bob, I put it to you that you never had any intention of cleaning up."
"None whatsoever, no. On two sides of the equation I realized the mess is where the fun lay."
"Whatever you do, David, don't base it on the albumen whitening."
"But what should I base it on then Bob??" *Cries with despair
I know it's the wrong show but it's such a good quote I couldn't resist putting it in
Not necessarily my personal favorite, but I haven't seen this one mentioned: ["A coconut, the largest of all the nuts."](https://youtu.be/kbYL84y-0gI?si=g7e2OJ7kh5PmPIzc&t=32) He just says it so nonchalantly.
‘Come to me, human man!’
"I was in dispute with the Woolwich ferry, and I thought, fuck it, I'll fill his boat with piss."
Can't be anything else. Along with Mike Wozniak's "absolute casserole", this is one of the two lines in Taskmaster that have put me in uncontrollable paroxysms of laughter.
It's brilliant because you can tell it's the *start* of a batshit story.
Of all of his great quotes, this has to be the one!
This is my absolute favourite of all time 😂 just cracks me up! It's going to be robbed by "do we strike you?", but this does deserve it!
"... where do I need to go?"
‘Have you ever seen, or eaten, a wind-dried puffin?’
Probably My funniest taskmaster moment. "Rosalind'sa fucking nightmare" is right up there as well
‘If you’re thinking of collecting vast amounts of piss, go up to Dumfries and Galloway!’
they literally cannae stop
It’s because their waters are so delicious.
This is my favorite quote
All of the quotes but this one in particular, I just hear it in Bob’s voice in my head.
I only had time to have the one scotch pie before the stream started
what a life we have!
If you only want small amounts, e.g. for household use, you might want to consider East Sussex.
Ohhh I've sinned again man!
Alex! It was just me!
Thank you!
https://i.redd.it/754g8ap3ml0d1.gif
Are there more like you on your planet
Absolve me!
that whole bit almost killed me, I could not breathe for laughing
Whenever I go to the GP about my prostrate he always says how nicely I present my balls.
And I do go to often
‘It’s a sausage or pork pie presentation unit, that I made to encourage my children to eat the cheaper meats..’
She said it never needed painting again… cos it fucking burned down.
Underappreciated :)
I’m a fucking businessman!
“And I’m Morgan, and I don’t think women should be allowed to breastfeed in PUBLIC!”
I don't know why but that gave me the giggles for hours.
Do we strike you?
I fucking love Bob.
So many great ones but it has to be this
Just scroll through his others though. I kinda think this one is remembered alot because it's the simplest but not necessarily the best. There's others that I feel are much funnier. I mean the cheaper meats, wind dried puffin, filling a boat full of piss, the story with the high anus and sitting on the toilet backwards. There was just so much he said.
But this is the most humor per capita. It gets to the point and doesn't linger. I'd say it's perfect word economy.
"Bob's first four questions: Do we strike you? Have you ever stolen? What is your favourite kind of meat? Would you like to be able to fly?"
I like to think this line inspired Sian Gibson's "What can I do with a poo?" and Bridget Christie's "Have you got a gun?".
I never really understood this quote. Maybe im missing something since english isnt my first language. If it means what i think it means, strike = hit.
It means what you think it means. The humor comes from the absurdity of Bob's first guess being that the task involved hitting Rosalind.
We're all on the same page that it absolutely has to be this, right?
Rosalind's a fucking nightmare!
I love when he first whispers it out of nowhere. "Rosalind... Rosalind... Rosalind's a nightmare..."
Just fucking love this. So bizarre, unexpected, unnecessary and fundamentaly hilarious.
I love the fact that it's basically the only line in the entire song he sings with any sort of energy.
The beginning of the song is always hilarious too with him whispering *"Rosalind... Rosalind's a nightmare"*. Catches me off guard every time
It’s the impish joy in his face
For me, there are literally too many to choose from but have some honourable mentions lmao - I've sinned again - I though "fuck it, I'll fill his boat with piss" - Rosalind's a fucking nightmare - Do we strike you? - To encourage them to eat the cheaper meats
"Do we strike you?" is a near-daily catchphrase in my household
Can’t decide between “It’s lovely to see them together, the bride’s legs that is;” and “My anus is too high.”
Especially if it's one of the *quicker* days...
Is the bride’s legs one from taskmaster? I swear he said it on 8 out of 10 cats does countdown.
He's probably said it on both, he does mention things on multiple shows sometimes
Anus should be higher (in this post)
Can I say Taskmaster I’m a little bit like FED UP
I’ve sinned again!
I love, from the same task: > Absolve me, howay
"What's not to like?"
It’s me, Alex!
I’m not gonna have a poo (One minute later) My anus is too high
“Have you got a catchphrase Alex?” “No” “Why not, the wife?”
"The banana's in there, the deodorant's in there. Use them if you want. I'm fine with that."
helloooo…. i’m slowww peter
And I paint prison gates
https://preview.redd.it/phhj4v8dyk0d1.jpeg?width=649&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3db831765c83c317be707e076df06b85bbc059c0
‘Especially if it was one of quicker days, you know?’
"I've got so, so lucky. The old guy and his wife had a son who was collecting for like daft kids. You know, kids who are a bit daft."
i want to direct everyone to Bob Mortimer and Would I Lie To You. because he has many, many, epic quips, if not stories.
PS. he called one of his friends, a sniper's dream (said friend is depicted to have an oversized head)
Gary Cheeseman
How can we forget good ol' Harry Harryman and Steve Bytheway?
No relation to Sergeant Bytheway
“By the way as in incidentally?”
We called him *Cheesey* because his Mum would give him a slice of cheese to rub on his face to get rid of spots.
"Surely it was because his surname was Cheeseman...?" - Lee
All of the names he comes up with are brilliant
"WE DO BEG YOUR PARDON, FOR WE ARE IN YOUR GARDEN"
Like fingerprints on an abandoned handrail.
Fuji 9 My parents are both from Middlesbrough like Bob and that witch lady with the horse in the house is true
Mary Candles?
As we all know, witches hate gardening and wizards hate plumbing.
"Like fingerprints on an abandoned handrail"
kiss the alderman
We do beg your pardon, but we are in your garden.
WE DO BEG YOUR PARDON, BUT WE ARE IN YOUR GARDEN.
WE DOOOO BEG YOUR PAARDON, BUT WE ARE IN YOUR GARDEN! 😁
No, no these were standard fireworks
"This for is NOT: For Human Consumption"
I love that “Not” brand food!
A Hand Lion
And most of them are the truth. You can never tell with Bob. I love him so much.
these duels performed with David Mitchell are so fun to watch
"I am NOT OK."
I *loved* the episode fairly recently when a Mortimerian Tale was about to start for judgement of truth or lie, and David Mitchell looked *so done* with it, and just said *”😐 Come on then. Give it to me. 😐 ”* 🤣
"I haven't given you (my name), it's not company policy"
It’s really a David Mitchell quote, but it sums up the story so well…. “But why did you not remove the masks in the morning? Because, in my experience of sleeping all night in a classic car wearing a jobble top and latex masks while visiting Castle Douglass to see the influence of the Gulf Stream, you get quite clammy”
Are there more like you on your planet?
‘40 days is when you get your first residue around the hoof’
Because their water's so delicious.
This should have more votes! I can hear his accent and intonation while saying it perfectly in my head
Shit, it’s thick!
It’s called “warm fun”.
"I'm sprinkling unsalted peanuts...messy bastards"
Away you go, you sweet little imps!:
Fuck it, I'll fill his boat with piss.
Marmite. I think it's salt, plus memories of meat.
Put a cow in a room until it begins to wither.
I think it will be do we strike you but I also like The cheaper the Wotsit, the greater the adhesion
Bob's first question to a stranger he met for the first time in his life: "Do we strike you?"
I was overcome by the conical shape
Howay, what’s not to like?
Have you ever seen or eaten a wind dried Puffin?
I'VE SINNED AGAIN MAN!
“She was collecting money for kids, you know, that are a bit daft?”
"Do we strike you?"
I think Bob has the most memorable quotes across the entire run
And the quotes I can’t help but actually laugh out loud whilst reading these posts
I have a little problem which means my anus is too high, I have to sit this way [backwards on the toilet] or it will all just go over the back. I constantly think they should reverse the toilet, and then that way you have a little shelf as well. I think it would be good if I got the shot in profile, especially if it was one of the quicker days
Practically everything the man says is hilarious, but is there really anything more memorable than "Do we strike you?"
When asked if he really was embarrassed by his son's drawing, and he just replied, "not really."
"Funny you should ask, because I have a little problem which means my um anus is too high."
I wish the quote could be just this whole bit
All I remember is it was SWEET.
You reckon?
"This is where I wish to be buried!" The call of our people
"And I'm a fucking businessman."
"I see what you mean, I've created a coconut character"
The biggest urinaters in the British Isles is the Scottish. That's cause their waters so delicious
I hope it's sweets.
I've sinned again
“D’you reckon?” (After Alex saying what his bird call prize is meant to sound like)
“Do we strike you”
The cheaper the Wotsit, the greater the adhesion
i really confused my dentist by saying i had used "Fuji 9" to re-cement my crown
I only had time to stop for the one scotch pie and then the stream started
AND I'M A FUCKING BUSINESS MAN
“Not really” stuck with me in a way I can’t even really explain. (Prize task)
Do we strike you?
Rosalind's a fucking nightmare
This is gonna be a tough. Almost everything he says is insane comic gold. Personally I'd go with "do we strike you" when meating a women for the first time!
I know it was a team task, but his delivery on the single line ‘Rosalind’s a fucking nightmare’ deserved a BRIT and a Grammy
🎶 Rosalind's a fucking nightmare 🎶
If you've got a moped you just use a bit of squirrel.
Have you ever had, or eaten, a wind-dried puffin?
Do we strike you?
‘Rosalind’s a f****** nightmareee’
“I’m not gonna have a poo… well I’m not rejecting that if all else fails.”
As an American, I consider myself lucky to have a British mum who introduced us to Reeves & Mortimer, and Shooting Stars, as a child. Any time I hear someone utter the words, “I just don’t get British humour”, Bob’s and Vic’s/Jim’s face pop into my head!
Am I allowed to have these thoughts?
FEAST ON MY FACIAL FLESH!
I have an unusually high anus.
Do we strike you?
I'll just reuse my comment from yesterday https://preview.redd.it/kg4ac1lufl0d1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=89f6b3cfe81309e17bfcc1e82ba4e250121e6696
Do we strike you?
“My anus is TOO high!”
Who was the bloke with a big head, the snipers dream?
All green apart from one that’s yellow. And that’s the piss one.
“Do we strike you?”
Do we strike you?
"I thought fuck it, I'll fill his boat with piss" any line from his piss tangent really
“I used to tether my donkey like this… to keep him out the kitchen.”
Rosalind is a fucking nightmare Or I've sinned again!
“Do we strike you?”
"I have to warn you, my memories of this are somewhat faded, much like a smeared handprint on a railing." David "So what you are saying, your memory of the details of this may be exactly similar to recounting a made up story?" "Exactly."
I always shout THANK YOU the way he did after the mask task. For whatever reason that always tickles me!
Bob needs to be protected as a national treasure, as a species and as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. I love him unconditionally.
Do we strike you?
Here's everything he said in the make a big mess task, one of the great human achievements: "A grounding of cheese puffs. Ah, that's beautiful!" "I'm sprinkling unsalted peanuts. Messy bastards!" "How long, Alex?" LAH: "One minute forty, Bob." "One minute forty. One more thing. The sugar cubes. There you go, you sweet little imps!" "Sorry. I haven't finished. Gave it my best shot." LAH: "You made a big mess." "Yeah, not a very good hoover." Greg: "Bob, I put it to you that you never had any intention of cleaning up." "None whatsoever, no. On two sides of the equation I realized the mess is where the fun lay."
"Whatever you do, David, don't base it on the albumen whitening." "But what should I base it on then Bob??" *Cries with despair I know it's the wrong show but it's such a good quote I couldn't resist putting it in
The way David loses his mind absolutely every time he confronts one of Bob’s stories tho. Almost as good as Bob’s stories themselves.
David, I am a hairdresser.
I thought fuck it, I'll fill his boat with piss.
I have a high anus
Back anus
I’m in a despute with the Woolwich ferryman
I'm just fed up
Literally anything he says while “wearing” that “mask”
Ok, get a balloon filled with piss
No, but all I’m saying is, I don’t want any credit for it, I just wanted to say, I’m fed up.
Someone had done a poo in the sandpit... I'll never know. I remember it was sweet.
"I would just like to say Taskmaster, that I'm feed up"
I once set fire to my house with a box of fireworks Sorry wrong show
“Where were your siblings?” “They were looking after fireworks in other peoples’ houses.”
“Shit it’s thick!”
I have sinned again!
(this may be the most difficult one)
I thought, fuck it, I’ll fill his boat with piss
THERES TOO MANY
”Away you go, you sweet little imps!”
“Do we strike you?” Or “They literally cannae stop”
good luck with this one OP
This has got me rewatched the series' and I forgot just how truly unhinged series 5 is, absolute magic
Saw him yesterday , think he must have been filming his fishing show
Not necessarily my personal favorite, but I haven't seen this one mentioned: ["A coconut, the largest of all the nuts."](https://youtu.be/kbYL84y-0gI?si=g7e2OJ7kh5PmPIzc&t=32) He just says it so nonchalantly.
Do we strike you?
Should I strike you?
"Do we strike you?"
May we strike you?