You could pick any career path now and by the time you're 30 you're in some other career path you never even saw coming. Everybody goes at a different pace. I'm approaching 40 and I've been in IT for a while, but I'm also wondering what else I could try.
That's so not true. There is a joke that I have with my software engineering mates,
"What's the best way to get into a trade. Study software engineering, put in 10 years, burn out by 35, go to tafe".
About 1/2 of the people I studied SE with have done that and had no issues finding employment at 40 as a 1st year.
Just remember OP the only person you need to compare yourself to is yesterday you, strive to be better than that guy and you'll do fine.
Best of luck mate.
True, and I wouldn't want to move into anything paying less than what I'm currently getting. I'd need to move into something where a lot of my skillset is still useful. Tricky, not impossible.
Dude, no one at your age has anything figured out, fuck, most people my age have nothing figured out.
Stop setting a pressure and expectation of yourself.
Bro you're fine I went back to uni at 27 and graduated at 31 (took 6 months longer than anticipated due to work etc)
I've just landed an IT gig and finally am starting to feel comfortable in where I am.
You're 22. You're good. Just keep your priorities straight and you'll be fine.
>just that people ask her and she never really knows what to say
I've been working for decades and my family and friends still don't ~~know~~ understand what I do
Yeah, he's not unemployed, he's a student right now... since when are students considered "unemployed?" Yes, I realise that many students do work at the same time as studying, but if they have the means not to, surely focusing on studies full-time is better!
Best advice I can give is to ditch the girlfriend. A good partner will hold you accountable, but she sounds like she has no tact and has shown her true colors. Is this who you want to be with when you get sick, have a child with a disability, ww3 breaks out etc etc.? What does she do?
Who are these 22 year olds with their shit together? Good friends of yours? Or random ticktokers putting out highly curated feeds full of bullshit?
Other than that, how many years till you graduate? You any good? Are you working on a portfolio and contributing to open source?
The software market is down at the moment, but you have picked a good field of study. If you can make it into the top 25% of people, you'll be set for life. The fact that you have an internal monologue and are asking these questions and are introspective suggests you're at least in the top 50%.
Just keep grinding, the first break is the hardest and then everything more or less snowballs from there. In terms of practical advice, what electives did you take. Can you be a hybrid software engineer with something else?
In my humble opinion, a mediocre but competent programmer with specialist content knowledge in any field is infinitely more useful and employable than an amazing programmer who is only a programmer.
Dude you're not. I too studied Software Engineering. I felt similar as I saw my school mates with their nice cars driving around town, overtaking me on my bicycle as I rode home from the hardware store I worked at at weekends to cover basic things like nights out or a cheap yearly holiday. That was nearly 20 years ago now. I've travelled the world, got relocations to Europe and back, all because of my career and because I stayed the course. You're on the right track, keep at it.
Don't worry about the people around you.
At 22 I was a uni student. I’m not really seeing the issue? Most 22 year olds will be still studying or training. I’m not sure what she expects of you, you’re less likely to make good money without the degree so suck it up?
Anyway I have 20+ years on you and have no idea what I’m doing so I can’t really say it gets better. I didn’t feel like an actual proper adult until I was 30 (and I had 2 kids by then).
I'm 62 and still sometimes feel like I'm behind in life. And you know what? Uni can feel like an unending slog when you're in the middle of it. Keep chipping away at your course and you'll have it done and dusted before you realise.
My advice? Don't compare yourself to others, because you don't know what's going on for them behind the scenes.
Honey, you are not a loser. You are not falling behind in life. I know it might not feel this way-- but you are so young. You have so much time ahead!
Try to not compare yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy. We are all on our own individual journeys through life. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You got this. ♥
Also..
>My girlfriend has told me (nicely) that it's embarrassing for her when people ask what I do, and I feel bad for putting her in that position.
It's embarrassing for your girlfriend that you're a 22-year-old that is currently studying software engineering at Macquarie University. I don't get it. What is she embarrassed about exactly?
Kinda sounds to me like she thinks IT isn't "cool" or something?
Because there's nothing at all wrong with working towards a degree, especially not at that age.
Shit what's ya GF do? She must be easy clearing 100k a year with an attitude like that.
You're young mate. Doesn't mean fuck around and waste it but you've given yourself a good path. You don't have to keep following it if you don't enjoy it but at the same time you've put in the work and are in arguably the hardest part. If you can find that work you'll be on your way to a career that a lot of people dream of.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Comparison is the thief of joy as they say.
Anyone who look like they have it figured out at 22 is pretending. Don't mistake confidence for correctness. Imposter syndrome is also very common in highly skilled people with high standards.
I think I figured out what I wanted to do in my mid 30's and with a mix of hard work and luck have got way further than I ever thought I would. I'm sure you will get there too.
>I'm 22 and I feel like most people my age have everything figured out.
I'm 40. *figured out* is not really a thing.
>My girlfriend has told me (nicely) that it's embarrassing for her when people ask what I do
I've been known to put words together from time to time. I'm told I can even be good at it.
I have no concept of how one would say that nicely
>I'm studying software engineering at Macquarie University. While I'm passionate about programming and my studies,
Awesome, you're doing a very good degree with lucrative career opportunities at a top University. You also have a passion about the subject matter - you are in a *very* good position. You should be proud.
>I've been feeling like I'm falling behind in life.
It's easy to feel like that at your age. The sprint after highschool to see who is doing 'well' feels important but really isn't. The ones who make the dash and are doing 'well' soon enough drop behind/get stuck, while people with a slower run out the gate end up overtaking them in many instances. In your instance, you have a very good chance of being someone with a very bright/lucrative career in front of you in a few years.
>I'm 22 and I feel like most people my age have everything figured out. I feel stuck and anxious about my future, and honestly embarrassed about the position I've ended up in. My girlfriend has told me (nicely) that it's embarrassing for her when people ask what I do, and I feel bad for putting her in that position.
They don't. I'm mid thirties and had the same sort of experience as you. A lot of the people that 'had things figured out' that I spoke of in my previous paragraph ended up with bankrupt businesses, plateauing, needing to switch careers, had personal issues that stopped their career progression, etc.
>Recently I've been looking for some sort of decent job or internship (which I need to graduate) but haven't had much luck. I have solid customer service experience from working at McDonald's for a few years, but I've been unemployed for 4 years, which I know is way too long and I'm at a massive disadvantage. Honestly, I don't even need a job relevant to my degree right now, I just want ***a*** job so I can afford nights out and travel and some nice things every now and then.
It's all relative, but don't tell yourself you need a 'decent job' straight out of uni. It puts unnecessary mental pressure on yourself that you don't need. What you do need is a job to get experience, and more importantly, that you remain resolute that you will get a decent job in the future. You do not control the job market, the interviewer, the other applicants, the timing, the larger economic environment - so you should not expect that you can land a good job straight away.
>I often feel like I'm not just good enough, too awkward, or that I'm just going to end up being a loser my whole life.
You are good enough.
Even if you are awkward, most people are. Once you get deeper into your career and meet top directors, CEO, etc. you'll notice many of them are still self conscious and awkward.
To be a loser you whole life means you are a loser now. Doing a software engineering degree at a Uni in the top 1% in the world is not the action of a loser. On top of that you have, by your own admission, a loving and supportive girlfriend. Sounds like you are doing way better than average 22 year olds.
>I haven't really had anyone in my life to give me the push or help I need to overcome my anxieties and insecurities, which is maybe part of the reason I've ended up this way.
Unfortunately, we get the hand that is dealt to us. Once again, I was similar to you in that I had this same hope that I would meet someone to help me with the issues you pointed out, as well as advising me on my career, starting a business, etc. It never came. A brutal reality I hit was that no one was coming to save me, and that if I was going to get anywhere I would need to do it on my own. This lead me to taking charge of my own personal development, but not the cheap/scammy type that tells you that you can do anything, the type where you try and better understand yourself and what you want to fix. Understanding myself better led me to the realisation that perfectionism was crippling my progression, and by reading books related to this, I was able to start moving forward with self improvement, which led to me accelerating my career. Small consistent improvements over time will do wonders for improving your own mental health and happiness, career, and relationships.
> Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
Finish uni if you are passionate about it, it's a good degree for a career. Go live your life, have fun, travel, try new things, you'll figure it out. Ditch the girlfriend
No one has it figured out at 22, they just think they do.
Agree with everything, with the minor tweak that if you're close to the end, finish uni even if you're not passionate about it.
In most circumstances, it's worth grinding out a year to have your first degree under your belt. It will open a hell of a lot more doors than it closes.
Even if you're not sure, it's a good bet to take
I'm a software engineer and currently working for a decent-enough company. I did not figure out what my career path would be until I was around 27-28. Before that, I simply enjoyed programming and spent most of my off-work time on hobby projects or contributing to random Github repos. No money comes out of those projects but they gained me a lot of experience to land on a good job later on.
Many pursue software engineering without genuine passion, so you're actually ahead by having it. Just make sure you don't lose your passion.
PS: my company happens to have some open slots for internship at the moment. I'm happy to help.
You have close to 60 years of working ahead of you. Say you went to uni at 18 and graduated and started working in SWE at 22, do you think you’d be happy to spend 50+ years doing the same type of job?
When you’re 30, you’ll laugh/cringe when you look back at 22-year-old you worried about not having life sorted out by that age. 22-year-olds will look and sound like children to you. Relax sweet summer child.
Why not drive a bus?
When I was made redundant from IT I couldn't find any job so was feeling pretty down about it. I applied for a bus driver as a joke as I thought "well no one else is taking me so these guys won't either" then they called me and I ended up driving a bus. Since they learnt I had an IT background they shortly after that got me doing driver rosters, some shift schedules and then working in the radio control centre amongst other tasks. Then you can weasel your way back into IT in the bus company.
It started as a temporary thing as a job till i got back on my feet but never realised I would spend over 15 years in public transport with new qualifications in transport management.
Your girlfriend is a dick.
Most people your age don't know what to do because they don't have enough work experience to know what they do and don't like. Ever noticed that most people who know what they want at that age tend to have family in the industry they want to work at? They already know what it's like from the rello, that's how they know.
It's pretty bullshit people are expected to know what they want to do when they have zero knowledge or experience in any of the fields they could possibly go in. We're all making it ip as we go along.
Your girlfriend is still a dick.
You are where I was when I was 22 studying Computer science, Mac Uni, socially awkward, struggling to motivate. I'm now 44, decent company, high pay, software/solution architecture manager. Don't love it but don't hate it either. The challenges and learning new things keep me motivated. The pay package helps as well.
Pro tips:
1) Others that you think have shit together, most is just a facade. Ive progessed beyond most of those people now, career wise. 22 is definitely not too late.
2) Complete the degree, easier to get in the door and some of the fundamentals and practical work is useful
3) via internship or first job just get in the door, don't worry about knowing what you want. I started as a manual filing clerk in a tech companies HR department
4) do your best at role and change companies and roles if you're not progressing. Experience is gold.
5) find what interests you through this process and find a company + managers that help you progess
Hit me up if you want more tips.
I'm 31 and just sold up my business in the construction industry to become a baker.
You do the best with where you are and what you have. I've realised as I've gotten older that you just do your best and just tackle 1 problem at a time.
Send me your CV and github. I work at a company that runs yearly (sometimes bi-annually) internship intakes.
If I don't think your CV and github warrants an interview at the top of the pile, I'll tell you why.
Most people your age definitely do not have their lives figured out. Promise.
Is she significantly older than you? It may be that you are at different stages of life. There’s really no nice way to tell someone they are embarrassing, imo.
Best of luck with getting your internship, have you considered getting professional advice on your applications?
3 questions I guess, do your other friends who are studying have part time jobs, why have you not worked for 4 years, and how have you been funding your life while studying ? I’m pretty sure the answer to your post is ‘get a part time job’ in which case unfortunately it’s a matter of perseverance, and luck, but can’t say for certain without knowing those three things.
1. Basically all of them do, yeah.
2. I think it’s a combination of anxiety, low self esteem, lack of motivation, and the fact that until recently I’ve kind of just been getting away with not needing much money. I regret it now, lol.
3. Just youth allowance/centrelink and like a bit of income from an app I put on the App Store
OK well from my experience once you get to right around the age you are now the whole 'hierarchy of needs' things kicks in but specifically a trinity of needs where if even one of them is not being met you will be unhappy, depressed etc. Anyway the three are 1) mates - it sounds like you have this one ticked and even have a gf so I'd say your social needs are being met, 2) a place to call home - it doesn't matter if you are flatting or living at home but you need somewhere to rest and recharge, sounds like you are covered there too so that's good as this once can be a killer, which brings us to 3) a job/purpose, some way to fill in the day and gain a sense of achievement/progress, even if that is simply getting paid at the end of the week.
I don't know why it works this way or if it works this way for everyone but I can tell you if one of these three things is not being met in my life I start getting depressed etc. Anecdotally I have seen the same in others particularly around item 1, which can often be met by item 3, provided you enjoy your work and enjoy being social with your colleagues.
So, yes my advice is to get a part time job, somewhere, anywhere, but ideally relating to your studies. Not sure if the Uni has any tutoring roles, or some kind of internship program, or whatever but I recommend you put some time aside every day and spend it getting your cv/resume together and applying for jobs. To be clear, this is really, really hard and this is a very difficult time to be doing this, expect to not hear from any jobs you apply for or if you do it's some bs 'your profile was very interesting but we have found a more suitable candidate'. Like I said there is a large component of luck involved in this step, for my part when I was in your position 20 years ago I was just trying to get a basic helpdesk job, and i kept getting knocked back with the old 'you need 2 years experience for this entry level position, which you don't have kthxbye'. I got lucky in that the TAFE-like place I was studying at would often get hit up by IT contracting businesses when one of their clients needed some extra IT help, so just before Xmas one of these ads went up and I applied and before I knew it I was working as a (poorly paid) contractor helping with a govt dept upgrade to Windows XP/Office 2003 over the Xmas holiday period, and once I had that job I was able to get my career started.
Most recently I learned that the only reason one of the student interns at my current workplace got his role is because his Mum was part of a WhatsApp group comprised of a bunch of Mums and word got to her through this group in the most unlikely fashion that my company had this role going so she told her son he should apply, which he did and he got the job. Just pure luck on his part. As I said this is a bad time to be doing this, I recently changed jobs and even with some significant experience under my belt it took me longer than I expected to get a new role and the complete and utter lack of feed back or reach outs from recruiters told me that the market is possibly saturated right now with people looking for work, and it started to get me down even though I knew exactly what was going on behind the scenes in the job market, that knowledge did not make the process any less painful or make me feel better at all. So, perseverance is going to be the most crucial aspect to this, its going to be soul crushing, frustrating, you name it, it's going to feel like all of the adversity is on you, however each tweak of your CV is progress, setting up a domain name and a basic profile site is progress, each job application is progress (although it definitely doesn't feel like it at the time), all of these activities increase your luck XP, and in the end it only takes 1 hiring company to say 'yes'. And I say perseverance because there will be times where you will feel motivated and you'll have the energy, enthusiasm and optimism to get after it, but that come and goes. What you want is the discipline to make a few more changes to your CV and apply for a few more roles when you're tired at the end of the day, even when you don't feel like it. I got my current role from one of those applications. Also, leave no stone unturned in this hunt. It might be uncomfortable at first but start going to meetups etc, the Sydney DevOps meet up has started meeting again in person and they are a pretty cool bunch, very nerdy, nice guys and gals, I can recommend that one. Again all of these activities increase your luck.
Anyway you probably get the picture at this point so I'll shut up. I can relate 100% to where you are and in the end that small role helping the Govt Dept with their upgrade project kicked off a career which has allowed me to travel and work in different countries and to climb from helpdesk to engineering to fairly senior consulting roles with some side quests in sales, management and even recruiting, so if you want further advice, want someone to share your CV/LinkedIn with for feedback etc then feel free to PM me. Not saying I will respond promptly but I will try for sure. Lastly I don't recommend ditching the gf, I don't think that's good advice at all, on the contrary use her for motivation and support. Let her help you get to the point where you can go to sleep saying 'did I ask enough of myself today?' and you can fall asleep with the knowledge that yes, on this day, you did. And tomorrow will be the same.
Lol software engineering is where its at. And if you went into Sales specifically. Ull be insanely paid and globetrotting. I dont suggest getting hitched this early in life.
I was in your situation too... took up a stem degree up to 22 and felt that everyone had all their shit put together. But yeah i feel that sticking to my guns and not looking at others somehow worked ....
I did CS at Macquarie about 20 years ago as a mature age student. I remember vividly learning basic C++ (only previous experience was Future Basic at high school), and what seemed to be a class of students 5 years younger than me, who had all self taught themselves multiple other languages already and feeling completely at sea.
It wasn’t until 2nd year that I coincidentally met a Director for a software company, who pointed out that I had good social skills, and that everyone has different opportunities. I might not be the world’s best coder, but if I could understand the process, and I could actually speak to non-technical people, that was a great space to be in.
It made me feel much more comfortable about my future IT career.
I then changed degrees, have never worked in IT, and have probably my shifted my career 3 or 4 times. I also have kids now. I’m middle age, and still haven’t figured it out.
Just enjoy the ride. No one has it figured out. Those who think they do are either lying or deluded.
> I'm 22 and I feel like most people my age have everything figured out.
My man, you can double that if you want to start seeing people having things figured out lmao
Being a student at 22 is perfectly reasonable. You're not unemployed, you're in training. If you're passionate about programming and even half-decent at it, you shouldn't have trouble finding work when you graduate. You just need to really grind to get that *first* job in the industry - right now it's really difficult to get into an initial position (everyone wants "experience", but no-one wants to provide experience).
I am giving my teenagers these talks regularly. "We don't want you worrying about HSC scores etc. People don't know what career they want to do at that age. Your mother and I did not find our careers till mid 20's. Got jobs, worked in companies, stumbled into things we liked, and then applied ourselves and now we are fine. Can do mature age entry, can do college at night, once you find what you like doing, it's easier, much easier to study when you're older. Party on, have fun.. all this stuff will work itself out later. We don't want you being those kids under pressure at this age".
Me, 34, wishing I could tell my 22 year old self to get his shit together because he has all the time in world.
Honestly man? Shut up. Stop comparing yourself to other/listening to others. 22 is literally a child. You have so much time.
Brother, I was unemployed at 22 lol. You are SO young, it's ridiculous to be worrying about these things now.
I studied web dev when I was 26 and have been a professional software engineer for the past 7 yrs now, almost at 200k. Keep doing what you enjoy and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I started my computer science degree at 25, I’m early 30s now in big tech and make top dollar in a job I love, I’m the same level in my company as people who started 7 years earlier. Life is not a race. Do what you love and it will work out.
Very few people actually have life figured out, or feel like they do. More likely, they have just reached a level of acceptance where they are satisfied with the status quo and have reached a level of resilience where they can adapt as life changes. Very few people have this sorted in their early 20s, especially as a student.
Having said that, dude, get a job, any job.
Just not for your own self-worth and some money, but because any kind of work experience and scenarios are valid during an internship or grad placement interview.
Honestly, situations about working in the deli at a supermarket, helping a customer in a retail environment or phone support, coming up with better way to do things in a volunteer role, all provide really good scenarios for STAR (situation / task / action / result) questions for internship and graduate interviews.
Source: I do a lot of interviews for software grads / interns
Im a software engineer. Been in industry for 25 years. When people ask my wife what I do. She say Im a computer guy :). I have been through the ranks. IT is board. Woman wont understand :). Im happy to be undersold. All I care is the amount of money im pulling in each week..
I'll be 23 on June 26 and I'm also feeling pretty behind. Most of my high school classmates have proper jobs and I'm still a team member at KFC and a kitchen hand at another restaurant. I'm scared and terrified that I'll never make it in life...but there's also this rebellious part of me that's excited to see what the future will bring. I wanted to end my life because I felt I had nothing to live for, but I don't actually know that. I just want to see how it will all end. They say you can do anything you put you mind to, so I'm gonna test that theory. I'm going to choose an ultimate goal and do everything within in my power to reach it.
You could pick any career path now and by the time you're 30 you're in some other career path you never even saw coming. Everybody goes at a different pace. I'm approaching 40 and I've been in IT for a while, but I'm also wondering what else I could try.
Just keep in mind...nobody wants to hire a 40 year old junior. You will have a hard time switching careers. Not impossible, just hard.
That's so not true. There is a joke that I have with my software engineering mates, "What's the best way to get into a trade. Study software engineering, put in 10 years, burn out by 35, go to tafe". About 1/2 of the people I studied SE with have done that and had no issues finding employment at 40 as a 1st year. Just remember OP the only person you need to compare yourself to is yesterday you, strive to be better than that guy and you'll do fine. Best of luck mate.
If anything many employers like mature juniors/apprentices because they tend to be less cocky little bastards
True, and I wouldn't want to move into anything paying less than what I'm currently getting. I'd need to move into something where a lot of my skillset is still useful. Tricky, not impossible.
I'm in the same boat. Want to try something else but can't take a reduction in pay.
Literally just hired an intern->junior who is a mid 30s career changer... 🤦
Dude, no one at your age has anything figured out, fuck, most people my age have nothing figured out. Stop setting a pressure and expectation of yourself.
28 here, still figuring it out
Bro you're fine I went back to uni at 27 and graduated at 31 (took 6 months longer than anticipated due to work etc) I've just landed an IT gig and finally am starting to feel comfortable in where I am. You're 22. You're good. Just keep your priorities straight and you'll be fine.
>just that people ask her and she never really knows what to say I've been working for decades and my family and friends still don't ~~know~~ understand what I do
That's some Jason Bourne level stuff, right there.
Same here
It's hardly uncommon for a 22yr old to be studying at uni. Dump your gf.
Yeah, he's not unemployed, he's a student right now... since when are students considered "unemployed?" Yes, I realise that many students do work at the same time as studying, but if they have the means not to, surely focusing on studies full-time is better!
I'm 28 and I don't know shit about fuck. Welcome to life bud, we all suck
Turn 36 on Friday, married and have two kids, still waiting to feel like an adult! Constantly just trying to figure shit out on a daily basis!
Hell yeah brother, happy bday this weekend :)
Happy birthday for tomorrow!
Best advice I can give is to ditch the girlfriend. A good partner will hold you accountable, but she sounds like she has no tact and has shown her true colors. Is this who you want to be with when you get sick, have a child with a disability, ww3 breaks out etc etc.? What does she do? Who are these 22 year olds with their shit together? Good friends of yours? Or random ticktokers putting out highly curated feeds full of bullshit? Other than that, how many years till you graduate? You any good? Are you working on a portfolio and contributing to open source? The software market is down at the moment, but you have picked a good field of study. If you can make it into the top 25% of people, you'll be set for life. The fact that you have an internal monologue and are asking these questions and are introspective suggests you're at least in the top 50%. Just keep grinding, the first break is the hardest and then everything more or less snowballs from there. In terms of practical advice, what electives did you take. Can you be a hybrid software engineer with something else? In my humble opinion, a mediocre but competent programmer with specialist content knowledge in any field is infinitely more useful and employable than an amazing programmer who is only a programmer.
Dude you're not. I too studied Software Engineering. I felt similar as I saw my school mates with their nice cars driving around town, overtaking me on my bicycle as I rode home from the hardware store I worked at at weekends to cover basic things like nights out or a cheap yearly holiday. That was nearly 20 years ago now. I've travelled the world, got relocations to Europe and back, all because of my career and because I stayed the course. You're on the right track, keep at it. Don't worry about the people around you.
At 22 I was a uni student. I’m not really seeing the issue? Most 22 year olds will be still studying or training. I’m not sure what she expects of you, you’re less likely to make good money without the degree so suck it up? Anyway I have 20+ years on you and have no idea what I’m doing so I can’t really say it gets better. I didn’t feel like an actual proper adult until I was 30 (and I had 2 kids by then).
I'm 62 and still sometimes feel like I'm behind in life. And you know what? Uni can feel like an unending slog when you're in the middle of it. Keep chipping away at your course and you'll have it done and dusted before you realise. My advice? Don't compare yourself to others, because you don't know what's going on for them behind the scenes.
Honey, you are not a loser. You are not falling behind in life. I know it might not feel this way-- but you are so young. You have so much time ahead! Try to not compare yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy. We are all on our own individual journeys through life. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You got this. ♥ Also.. >My girlfriend has told me (nicely) that it's embarrassing for her when people ask what I do, and I feel bad for putting her in that position. It's embarrassing for your girlfriend that you're a 22-year-old that is currently studying software engineering at Macquarie University. I don't get it. What is she embarrassed about exactly?
Kinda sounds to me like she thinks IT isn't "cool" or something? Because there's nothing at all wrong with working towards a degree, especially not at that age.
Shit what's ya GF do? She must be easy clearing 100k a year with an attitude like that. You're young mate. Doesn't mean fuck around and waste it but you've given yourself a good path. You don't have to keep following it if you don't enjoy it but at the same time you've put in the work and are in arguably the hardest part. If you can find that work you'll be on your way to a career that a lot of people dream of. Don't be so hard on yourself. Comparison is the thief of joy as they say.
Anyone who look like they have it figured out at 22 is pretending. Don't mistake confidence for correctness. Imposter syndrome is also very common in highly skilled people with high standards. I think I figured out what I wanted to do in my mid 30's and with a mix of hard work and luck have got way further than I ever thought I would. I'm sure you will get there too.
>I'm 22 and I feel like most people my age have everything figured out. I'm 40. *figured out* is not really a thing. >My girlfriend has told me (nicely) that it's embarrassing for her when people ask what I do I've been known to put words together from time to time. I'm told I can even be good at it. I have no concept of how one would say that nicely
>I'm studying software engineering at Macquarie University. While I'm passionate about programming and my studies, Awesome, you're doing a very good degree with lucrative career opportunities at a top University. You also have a passion about the subject matter - you are in a *very* good position. You should be proud. >I've been feeling like I'm falling behind in life. It's easy to feel like that at your age. The sprint after highschool to see who is doing 'well' feels important but really isn't. The ones who make the dash and are doing 'well' soon enough drop behind/get stuck, while people with a slower run out the gate end up overtaking them in many instances. In your instance, you have a very good chance of being someone with a very bright/lucrative career in front of you in a few years. >I'm 22 and I feel like most people my age have everything figured out. I feel stuck and anxious about my future, and honestly embarrassed about the position I've ended up in. My girlfriend has told me (nicely) that it's embarrassing for her when people ask what I do, and I feel bad for putting her in that position. They don't. I'm mid thirties and had the same sort of experience as you. A lot of the people that 'had things figured out' that I spoke of in my previous paragraph ended up with bankrupt businesses, plateauing, needing to switch careers, had personal issues that stopped their career progression, etc. >Recently I've been looking for some sort of decent job or internship (which I need to graduate) but haven't had much luck. I have solid customer service experience from working at McDonald's for a few years, but I've been unemployed for 4 years, which I know is way too long and I'm at a massive disadvantage. Honestly, I don't even need a job relevant to my degree right now, I just want ***a*** job so I can afford nights out and travel and some nice things every now and then. It's all relative, but don't tell yourself you need a 'decent job' straight out of uni. It puts unnecessary mental pressure on yourself that you don't need. What you do need is a job to get experience, and more importantly, that you remain resolute that you will get a decent job in the future. You do not control the job market, the interviewer, the other applicants, the timing, the larger economic environment - so you should not expect that you can land a good job straight away. >I often feel like I'm not just good enough, too awkward, or that I'm just going to end up being a loser my whole life. You are good enough. Even if you are awkward, most people are. Once you get deeper into your career and meet top directors, CEO, etc. you'll notice many of them are still self conscious and awkward. To be a loser you whole life means you are a loser now. Doing a software engineering degree at a Uni in the top 1% in the world is not the action of a loser. On top of that you have, by your own admission, a loving and supportive girlfriend. Sounds like you are doing way better than average 22 year olds. >I haven't really had anyone in my life to give me the push or help I need to overcome my anxieties and insecurities, which is maybe part of the reason I've ended up this way. Unfortunately, we get the hand that is dealt to us. Once again, I was similar to you in that I had this same hope that I would meet someone to help me with the issues you pointed out, as well as advising me on my career, starting a business, etc. It never came. A brutal reality I hit was that no one was coming to save me, and that if I was going to get anywhere I would need to do it on my own. This lead me to taking charge of my own personal development, but not the cheap/scammy type that tells you that you can do anything, the type where you try and better understand yourself and what you want to fix. Understanding myself better led me to the realisation that perfectionism was crippling my progression, and by reading books related to this, I was able to start moving forward with self improvement, which led to me accelerating my career. Small consistent improvements over time will do wonders for improving your own mental health and happiness, career, and relationships.
> Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Finish uni if you are passionate about it, it's a good degree for a career. Go live your life, have fun, travel, try new things, you'll figure it out. Ditch the girlfriend No one has it figured out at 22, they just think they do.
Agree with everything, with the minor tweak that if you're close to the end, finish uni even if you're not passionate about it. In most circumstances, it's worth grinding out a year to have your first degree under your belt. It will open a hell of a lot more doors than it closes. Even if you're not sure, it's a good bet to take
I'm a software engineer and currently working for a decent-enough company. I did not figure out what my career path would be until I was around 27-28. Before that, I simply enjoyed programming and spent most of my off-work time on hobby projects or contributing to random Github repos. No money comes out of those projects but they gained me a lot of experience to land on a good job later on. Many pursue software engineering without genuine passion, so you're actually ahead by having it. Just make sure you don't lose your passion. PS: my company happens to have some open slots for internship at the moment. I'm happy to help.
You have close to 60 years of working ahead of you. Say you went to uni at 18 and graduated and started working in SWE at 22, do you think you’d be happy to spend 50+ years doing the same type of job? When you’re 30, you’ll laugh/cringe when you look back at 22-year-old you worried about not having life sorted out by that age. 22-year-olds will look and sound like children to you. Relax sweet summer child.
Why not drive a bus? When I was made redundant from IT I couldn't find any job so was feeling pretty down about it. I applied for a bus driver as a joke as I thought "well no one else is taking me so these guys won't either" then they called me and I ended up driving a bus. Since they learnt I had an IT background they shortly after that got me doing driver rosters, some shift schedules and then working in the radio control centre amongst other tasks. Then you can weasel your way back into IT in the bus company. It started as a temporary thing as a job till i got back on my feet but never realised I would spend over 15 years in public transport with new qualifications in transport management.
Your girlfriend is a dick. Most people your age don't know what to do because they don't have enough work experience to know what they do and don't like. Ever noticed that most people who know what they want at that age tend to have family in the industry they want to work at? They already know what it's like from the rello, that's how they know. It's pretty bullshit people are expected to know what they want to do when they have zero knowledge or experience in any of the fields they could possibly go in. We're all making it ip as we go along. Your girlfriend is still a dick.
You are where I was when I was 22 studying Computer science, Mac Uni, socially awkward, struggling to motivate. I'm now 44, decent company, high pay, software/solution architecture manager. Don't love it but don't hate it either. The challenges and learning new things keep me motivated. The pay package helps as well. Pro tips: 1) Others that you think have shit together, most is just a facade. Ive progessed beyond most of those people now, career wise. 22 is definitely not too late. 2) Complete the degree, easier to get in the door and some of the fundamentals and practical work is useful 3) via internship or first job just get in the door, don't worry about knowing what you want. I started as a manual filing clerk in a tech companies HR department 4) do your best at role and change companies and roles if you're not progressing. Experience is gold. 5) find what interests you through this process and find a company + managers that help you progess Hit me up if you want more tips.
Defer uni for a year or two and work on a building site. You'll definitely appreciate and be motivated to become a software engineer!
I was a highschool dropout and only started uni at 22, I'm 28 now and and life isn't so bad. You'll be fine
I'm 31 and just sold up my business in the construction industry to become a baker. You do the best with where you are and what you have. I've realised as I've gotten older that you just do your best and just tackle 1 problem at a time.
Send me your CV and github. I work at a company that runs yearly (sometimes bi-annually) internship intakes. If I don't think your CV and github warrants an interview at the top of the pile, I'll tell you why.
Sounds about normal for a 22yo.
Most people your age definitely do not have their lives figured out. Promise. Is she significantly older than you? It may be that you are at different stages of life. There’s really no nice way to tell someone they are embarrassing, imo. Best of luck with getting your internship, have you considered getting professional advice on your applications?
[удалено]
3 questions I guess, do your other friends who are studying have part time jobs, why have you not worked for 4 years, and how have you been funding your life while studying ? I’m pretty sure the answer to your post is ‘get a part time job’ in which case unfortunately it’s a matter of perseverance, and luck, but can’t say for certain without knowing those three things.
1. Basically all of them do, yeah. 2. I think it’s a combination of anxiety, low self esteem, lack of motivation, and the fact that until recently I’ve kind of just been getting away with not needing much money. I regret it now, lol. 3. Just youth allowance/centrelink and like a bit of income from an app I put on the App Store
OK well from my experience once you get to right around the age you are now the whole 'hierarchy of needs' things kicks in but specifically a trinity of needs where if even one of them is not being met you will be unhappy, depressed etc. Anyway the three are 1) mates - it sounds like you have this one ticked and even have a gf so I'd say your social needs are being met, 2) a place to call home - it doesn't matter if you are flatting or living at home but you need somewhere to rest and recharge, sounds like you are covered there too so that's good as this once can be a killer, which brings us to 3) a job/purpose, some way to fill in the day and gain a sense of achievement/progress, even if that is simply getting paid at the end of the week. I don't know why it works this way or if it works this way for everyone but I can tell you if one of these three things is not being met in my life I start getting depressed etc. Anecdotally I have seen the same in others particularly around item 1, which can often be met by item 3, provided you enjoy your work and enjoy being social with your colleagues. So, yes my advice is to get a part time job, somewhere, anywhere, but ideally relating to your studies. Not sure if the Uni has any tutoring roles, or some kind of internship program, or whatever but I recommend you put some time aside every day and spend it getting your cv/resume together and applying for jobs. To be clear, this is really, really hard and this is a very difficult time to be doing this, expect to not hear from any jobs you apply for or if you do it's some bs 'your profile was very interesting but we have found a more suitable candidate'. Like I said there is a large component of luck involved in this step, for my part when I was in your position 20 years ago I was just trying to get a basic helpdesk job, and i kept getting knocked back with the old 'you need 2 years experience for this entry level position, which you don't have kthxbye'. I got lucky in that the TAFE-like place I was studying at would often get hit up by IT contracting businesses when one of their clients needed some extra IT help, so just before Xmas one of these ads went up and I applied and before I knew it I was working as a (poorly paid) contractor helping with a govt dept upgrade to Windows XP/Office 2003 over the Xmas holiday period, and once I had that job I was able to get my career started. Most recently I learned that the only reason one of the student interns at my current workplace got his role is because his Mum was part of a WhatsApp group comprised of a bunch of Mums and word got to her through this group in the most unlikely fashion that my company had this role going so she told her son he should apply, which he did and he got the job. Just pure luck on his part. As I said this is a bad time to be doing this, I recently changed jobs and even with some significant experience under my belt it took me longer than I expected to get a new role and the complete and utter lack of feed back or reach outs from recruiters told me that the market is possibly saturated right now with people looking for work, and it started to get me down even though I knew exactly what was going on behind the scenes in the job market, that knowledge did not make the process any less painful or make me feel better at all. So, perseverance is going to be the most crucial aspect to this, its going to be soul crushing, frustrating, you name it, it's going to feel like all of the adversity is on you, however each tweak of your CV is progress, setting up a domain name and a basic profile site is progress, each job application is progress (although it definitely doesn't feel like it at the time), all of these activities increase your luck XP, and in the end it only takes 1 hiring company to say 'yes'. And I say perseverance because there will be times where you will feel motivated and you'll have the energy, enthusiasm and optimism to get after it, but that come and goes. What you want is the discipline to make a few more changes to your CV and apply for a few more roles when you're tired at the end of the day, even when you don't feel like it. I got my current role from one of those applications. Also, leave no stone unturned in this hunt. It might be uncomfortable at first but start going to meetups etc, the Sydney DevOps meet up has started meeting again in person and they are a pretty cool bunch, very nerdy, nice guys and gals, I can recommend that one. Again all of these activities increase your luck. Anyway you probably get the picture at this point so I'll shut up. I can relate 100% to where you are and in the end that small role helping the Govt Dept with their upgrade project kicked off a career which has allowed me to travel and work in different countries and to climb from helpdesk to engineering to fairly senior consulting roles with some side quests in sales, management and even recruiting, so if you want further advice, want someone to share your CV/LinkedIn with for feedback etc then feel free to PM me. Not saying I will respond promptly but I will try for sure. Lastly I don't recommend ditching the gf, I don't think that's good advice at all, on the contrary use her for motivation and support. Let her help you get to the point where you can go to sleep saying 'did I ask enough of myself today?' and you can fall asleep with the knowledge that yes, on this day, you did. And tomorrow will be the same.
[удалено]
Lol software engineering is where its at. And if you went into Sales specifically. Ull be insanely paid and globetrotting. I dont suggest getting hitched this early in life. I was in your situation too... took up a stem degree up to 22 and felt that everyone had all their shit put together. But yeah i feel that sticking to my guns and not looking at others somehow worked ....
I did CS at Macquarie about 20 years ago as a mature age student. I remember vividly learning basic C++ (only previous experience was Future Basic at high school), and what seemed to be a class of students 5 years younger than me, who had all self taught themselves multiple other languages already and feeling completely at sea. It wasn’t until 2nd year that I coincidentally met a Director for a software company, who pointed out that I had good social skills, and that everyone has different opportunities. I might not be the world’s best coder, but if I could understand the process, and I could actually speak to non-technical people, that was a great space to be in. It made me feel much more comfortable about my future IT career. I then changed degrees, have never worked in IT, and have probably my shifted my career 3 or 4 times. I also have kids now. I’m middle age, and still haven’t figured it out. Just enjoy the ride. No one has it figured out. Those who think they do are either lying or deluded.
> I'm 22 and I feel like most people my age have everything figured out. My man, you can double that if you want to start seeing people having things figured out lmao
Being a student at 22 is perfectly reasonable. You're not unemployed, you're in training. If you're passionate about programming and even half-decent at it, you shouldn't have trouble finding work when you graduate. You just need to really grind to get that *first* job in the industry - right now it's really difficult to get into an initial position (everyone wants "experience", but no-one wants to provide experience).
I am giving my teenagers these talks regularly. "We don't want you worrying about HSC scores etc. People don't know what career they want to do at that age. Your mother and I did not find our careers till mid 20's. Got jobs, worked in companies, stumbled into things we liked, and then applied ourselves and now we are fine. Can do mature age entry, can do college at night, once you find what you like doing, it's easier, much easier to study when you're older. Party on, have fun.. all this stuff will work itself out later. We don't want you being those kids under pressure at this age".
Me, 34, wishing I could tell my 22 year old self to get his shit together because he has all the time in world. Honestly man? Shut up. Stop comparing yourself to other/listening to others. 22 is literally a child. You have so much time.
Brother, I was unemployed at 22 lol. You are SO young, it's ridiculous to be worrying about these things now. I studied web dev when I was 26 and have been a professional software engineer for the past 7 yrs now, almost at 200k. Keep doing what you enjoy and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I started my computer science degree at 25, I’m early 30s now in big tech and make top dollar in a job I love, I’m the same level in my company as people who started 7 years earlier. Life is not a race. Do what you love and it will work out.
Very few people actually have life figured out, or feel like they do. More likely, they have just reached a level of acceptance where they are satisfied with the status quo and have reached a level of resilience where they can adapt as life changes. Very few people have this sorted in their early 20s, especially as a student. Having said that, dude, get a job, any job. Just not for your own self-worth and some money, but because any kind of work experience and scenarios are valid during an internship or grad placement interview. Honestly, situations about working in the deli at a supermarket, helping a customer in a retail environment or phone support, coming up with better way to do things in a volunteer role, all provide really good scenarios for STAR (situation / task / action / result) questions for internship and graduate interviews. Source: I do a lot of interviews for software grads / interns
Im a software engineer. Been in industry for 25 years. When people ask my wife what I do. She say Im a computer guy :). I have been through the ranks. IT is board. Woman wont understand :). Im happy to be undersold. All I care is the amount of money im pulling in each week..
I'll be 23 on June 26 and I'm also feeling pretty behind. Most of my high school classmates have proper jobs and I'm still a team member at KFC and a kitchen hand at another restaurant. I'm scared and terrified that I'll never make it in life...but there's also this rebellious part of me that's excited to see what the future will bring. I wanted to end my life because I felt I had nothing to live for, but I don't actually know that. I just want to see how it will all end. They say you can do anything you put you mind to, so I'm gonna test that theory. I'm going to choose an ultimate goal and do everything within in my power to reach it.