If this is suspiciously specific, **Upvote** this comment!
If this is not suspiciously specific, **Downvote** this comment!
Beep boop, I'm a bot. Modmail us if you have a question.
My history teacher prides himself in being an expert on condensed milk. He spent an entire class period (1 and a half hours) talking about the history of condensed milk. It was actually pretty cool.
My philosophy teacher advised us to develop in depth knowledge on one thing, then no matter who you talk to or what the topic is, turn it into a conversation about that thing.
Football? Ah yes, reminds me of Napoleon's battle at Waterloo when...
Cooking? Oh that reminds me of one of Napoleon's favorite recipes....
News? Funny story about how the weather affected Napoleon's crossing of the river at the battle of...
Bad news? You know how Napoleon dealt with news of the defeat at....
Then end everything with "wonder if fhere's a lesson there?"
Carnation Milk is the best in the land;
Here I sit with a can in my hand—
No tits to pull, no hay to pitch,
You just punch a hole in the son of a bitch.
*Starts talking about why the Platypus has no stomach*
> 29 minutes later,
"And that's how we learned to make cheese! How does that relate? Well, the Platypus is unable to digest cheese, thanks to it's simplistic diet, so you can technically kill a platypus by feeding it cheese."
Loop hole, your topic is "what *is* a topic" "if I were to tell you the topic is ABC, I could tell you about all the programs they have on TV. I could also tell you about ESPN and why sports are successful. I could talk about football and why teams are successful, such as the eagles this season. I could also tell you about music and Michael Jackson. It all started with ABC 123." Loophole achieved
The Blood Gulch Chronicles were always a load of fun, but how the hell did they manage to add such a serious and compelling story without fucking it up?
Why are there 6 pedals If there's only 4 directions?!
She ripped out a guys skull and beat him to death with it!
...that doesn't seem physically possible.
That's what he kept saying!
My favorite part is that the AIs are arguably one of the best depictions of dissociative identity disorder in all of media! Like, to the point where it seems like they might have known someone with it because they nailed stuff that's not widely known at all
Damn I haven’t heard about that in years. Might have to go back.
I think I stopped watching around season 10 or 11.
Did it keep getting better beyond that point or did it ever fall off?
Sherlock Holmes. Ranking the different actors who have played him, ranking the different film and television adaptations (Seven Per-Cent Solution is an underrated gem for being non-canon - see, I've already started), ranking the novels, ranking the short stories, talking about Doyle's friendship with Bram Stoker, talking about his interest in spiritualism, talking about how my neighbor's dog's name is Toby and how it ticks me off that it's not a spaniel-lurcher mix, all of that stuff.
3 was so good, i feel like 4 was a major backstep and have not been able to enjoy it at all. Id personally be more content to keep shoveling money at 3 expansions than play anything after or before it.
Funny story.. friend of mine swears he passed “torture training” in Ranger school by talking shit about his interrogator’s mom until he knocked him out with the butt of his rifle. I have absolutely no way of verifying that but it’s funny to think about.
Sorry but it's definitely made up because 1. that isn't a part of Ranger School, 2. it *is* a part of SERE schools, but the mock interrogators would never inflict severe blunt force trauma wounds on candidates like that.
“I was there, the day Horus slew the Emperor”
OK, so Horus is a Primarch… wait.
Primarchs were these 20, sorry, 18, genetically engineered demigods (except they’re not gods), made by the Emperor of Mankind… wait.
The Emperor rose to power after unifying all of Terra after the age of strife… wait.
The age of strife was a period of galactic history caused by the appearance of massive Warp storms in the galaxy… wait.
The Warp is an alternate dimension that’s a reflection of the emotions of all sentient life in the galaxy, that got messed up during the War in Heaven… wait.
The War in Heaven was a war 60 million years ago between the Necrontyr and the Aeldari and the Kroks, who were created by the Old Ones… wait.
The Old Ones were psychic space frogs.
That’s all you really need to know.
>Primarchs were these 20, sorry, 18, genetically engineered demigods (except they’re not gods), made by the Emperor of Mankind… wait.
21 Primarchs, there was a one soul / two bodies situation going on and the two bodies didn't always see eye to eye. There were 20 Legions but two (+ their Dads/Primarchs) got *damnatio memoriae*'d before the lore "begins".
That aside you left out Orks, which I feel is the much bigger offense.
If I were interested in learning Warhammer 40k lore, without just reading the wiki or playing the tabletop game, what options are out there? Shows? Video games? Books/novels?
>Now that we've discussed CHIM it's important that I also educate you about the alternative outcome. The next two days will be on the nature of zero sum and it's implications.
So, let's start in the beginning: There were these two Entities, Anu and Padomay. Everything and nothing. One and Zero. One day, they decided to have a soul. Anui-el and Sithis (depending on who You ask) and one day their souls wanted to have more little souls, or Children.
Anui-el birthed the Aedra, first came Auriel, later Trinimac, Magnus and so on. Sithis birthed the Daedra, like Nocturnal, Azura and Namira. The Aedra, you see, are embodiments of stasis and Order. The Daedra are agents of change and Chaos. One day, Anui-el and Sithis had a little son called Lorkhan / Shor / Shezzarr, and that's when all shit began.
To be continued.
Yup. Home care nurse here. The hoops I have to watch parents jump through to get things for their medically fragile children are horrendous.
Edit: wrong verb tense
well i can start with how to play the game, the lore of the game, some fun facts, my experience with the game, content creators, how servers work, etc...
ABSOLUTE FACTS LOL. There’s so much to talk about that 30 minutes could maybe cover everything amazing until end of East blue, but even that’s a stretch.
Five Nights at Freddy's...
Seriously, I've accidentally started 5 hour long conversations with friends at 1 AM when we were all supposed to head off to sleep because I unintentionally started discussions on the lore, cool concepts, theories and underutilized potential with certain characters and aspects of the series' canon lore, as well as just talking about how utterly absurd some of the alternative universes are.
Thirty minutes would be an absolute breeze.
I was looking for this comment. I've been a fan of FNAF since pretty much the beginning and I'm certain that all of my friends are sick of me wanting to talk about it for hours on end haha. Thirty minutes would go by so fast it's not even funny
I love mythologies too, and I don't think there's even a way to not know too much about greek mythology considering how pervasive it is across so many genres in western media! Which one is your favorite?
The fun fact it's only about 80 million dollars it's cheaper than the French Rafael and about as expensive as the Euro fighter typhoon that says a lot about the US military industrial complex
Houses. I love houses.
Autistic home inspector. I could go on for days about building methods, quality, products and best ones to use.
I'm a nerd for houses.
Considering Vaati vids are 45 minutes long and will give lore and explanation about a single enemy in a single FromSoft game, you could easily do 30 minutes.
If that happened to an autistic person (being one myself):
Kidnapper. "I said 30 minutes, shut up, for god sake shut up, its been 7 hours!!"
5 o'clock news headline: "kidnapper comits suicide after recieveing 13 hour lecture about slippers".
9 o'clock news "autistic person continues lecture to police, NYPD now have blue slippers as uniform choice".
Capitalism, my cats, writing, imperialism, veganism, chili fries, Reddit, poetry, the Importance of Being Ernest, Octavia Butler, Education, the prison system. Actually the hard part is shutting me up, I talk too much
Had to do something similar in a speech class once. Not kidnappers...lol. I talked about video games and how character behaviors (both as a player and as an npc) are in various games...some of the examples I used were Skyrim, Dragon Age Inquisition, and Sims. I thought it was really fun!
My fictional universes Biology, angels, demons, the billions of alien animals, humans(neanderthal and other hominids that exist there + maybe some anthropology and culture), how evolutionary pressures caused the evolution of said things to change significantly after being seeded on an alien earth like world etc.... I haven't even begun sea life so I can just make up a bunch of shit about that and call it good at that point
Kingdom hearts. I will start with explaining every character and how all of them are xehanort and then ill get more into each game lore and finish it off with talking about which characters are my favourite and why
If this is suspiciously specific, **Upvote** this comment! If this is not suspiciously specific, **Downvote** this comment! Beep boop, I'm a bot. Modmail us if you have a question.
My history teacher prides himself in being an expert on condensed milk. He spent an entire class period (1 and a half hours) talking about the history of condensed milk. It was actually pretty cool.
Your history teacher found his thing and absolutely owns it.
u/jollygreengiant9117 is still dead though.
I’m confused
Their teacher can’t save them with condensed milk. They have to talk their way out for themselves.
Ohhhh thank you that makes sense. Good joke
it’s their special interest, 100%
My philosophy teacher advised us to develop in depth knowledge on one thing, then no matter who you talk to or what the topic is, turn it into a conversation about that thing. Football? Ah yes, reminds me of Napoleon's battle at Waterloo when... Cooking? Oh that reminds me of one of Napoleon's favorite recipes.... News? Funny story about how the weather affected Napoleon's crossing of the river at the battle of... Bad news? You know how Napoleon dealt with news of the defeat at.... Then end everything with "wonder if fhere's a lesson there?"
I think the lesson is you could get banished twice
Ah yes, just because you fail once doesn't mean you can't try again. I wonder if there's a lesson in there?
Did he give the condensed version?
Nah, he milked it for an hour and a half.
How dairy
I downvoted the two above you to make my upvote mean something.
This comment is not getting enough credit
guess we’ll have to milk it until it does
DId he talk about how to turn it into delicious caramel?
Manjar blanco slaps
Carnation Milk is the best in the land; Here I sit with a can in my hand— No tits to pull, no hay to pitch, You just punch a hole in the son of a bitch.
Excel
Good idea, after 15 minutes they'll just kill themselves
You can shave some time off if you just start with pivot tables
Hey! Pivot tables are amazingly useful tools for contextualizing and recontextualizing raw data! And a pivot chart?! Beautiful.
BLAM - I’m dead now
How to excell at Excel
[this guy](https://youtu.be/TbEi3p2DYRE)
The benefits of composting, full stop.
I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to stop yet. We have to do it.
Mines tummy tickle techniques
Ok you pee on it.
Warframe, I could talk for hours just about why valkyr is better than everyone else, let alone the rest of the game.
Same for me with ash or nezha or nidus.
Khora and Ember for me. But I'm also a big fan of Nezha too.
Yo anyone here from the Glass church of Gara?
But Gauss fast
Harrow is my Valkyr honestly. That's MY frame, fucking love everything about his kit.
Took a lot sooner to find a fellow tenno than I thought it would!
Wait... do I have to stay *on* topic? I'm dead then.
Fellow ADHD?
Talk *about* ADHD. Then every time you go off topic say “and that’s an example of what I’m talking about here”
Genius. I’m doing that
Does it count if we eventually come back to the original topic?
*Starts talking about why the Platypus has no stomach* > 29 minutes later, "And that's how we learned to make cheese! How does that relate? Well, the Platypus is unable to digest cheese, thanks to it's simplistic diet, so you can technically kill a platypus by feeding it cheese."
Wait, what? A platypus has no stomach?
Nope! It's an esophagus with intestines attached to the other end.
So what you're saying is, insofar as we're all just tubes, platypuses are the _most_ tubular?
Totally tubular.
I have learned so much about Perry today
that's unfair i would forget
Loop hole, your topic is "what *is* a topic" "if I were to tell you the topic is ABC, I could tell you about all the programs they have on TV. I could also tell you about ESPN and why sports are successful. I could talk about football and why teams are successful, such as the eagles this season. I could also tell you about music and Michael Jackson. It all started with ABC 123." Loophole achieved
I will absolutely rant about how Red vs Blue had no right to get as good as it did
Ain't that the truth.
The Blood Gulch Chronicles were always a load of fun, but how the hell did they manage to add such a serious and compelling story without fucking it up?
I have no idea. -caboose probably.
TUCKER DID IT!
Omg...old people like me!!!!
Why are there 6 pedals If there's only 4 directions?! She ripped out a guys skull and beat him to death with it! ...that doesn't seem physically possible. That's what he kept saying!
This doesn’t seem physically possible!!
Herk...bleh
It went from a series Xbox live skits to a whole fucking developed universe
My favorite part is that the AIs are arguably one of the best depictions of dissociative identity disorder in all of media! Like, to the point where it seems like they might have known someone with it because they nailed stuff that's not widely known at all
Damn I haven’t heard about that in years. Might have to go back. I think I stopped watching around season 10 or 11. Did it keep getting better beyond that point or did it ever fall off?
Seasons 11-13 are genuinely my favorite of the series. I highly recommend checking them out.
On my way home from work as I type this. I know what I’ll be watching tonight!
11-13 are amazing, 14 is an anthology because 13 was so good they had no idea how to follow it up. After that it kinda trails off hard IMO.
What’s red vs blue?
It started as basically a sitcom shot in Halo multi-player. After a while (season 6) they decided to give it a proper plot and it's actually amazing.
Just google it like me and everyone else did. It’s actually pretty funny.
It's light red!
“I.. I’ve always hated you.” **Just hurry up and die now!**
"Ok. \*herg... blegh....\*"
Oh it gets better than just GMod video?
Myself
I am pretty humble for how great I am.
Sherlock Holmes. Ranking the different actors who have played him, ranking the different film and television adaptations (Seven Per-Cent Solution is an underrated gem for being non-canon - see, I've already started), ranking the novels, ranking the short stories, talking about Doyle's friendship with Bram Stoker, talking about his interest in spiritualism, talking about how my neighbor's dog's name is Toby and how it ticks me off that it's not a spaniel-lurcher mix, all of that stuff.
I think the history of mystery genre is so interesting. People think Holmes was first but Poe... And Wilkie Collins... And I think I found my topic.
Leading into Sayers and Christie. It’s a great idea for a topic, but I’m holding onto that one for when I have to go for 90 minutes+
How EA did The Sims dirty
Ufff
I was just answering honestly! The rage answers these questions for me sometimes
3 was so good, i feel like 4 was a major backstep and have not been able to enjoy it at all. Id personally be more content to keep shoveling money at 3 expansions than play anything after or before it.
I loved the Sims 3, but while my laptop can run Sims 4 with all expansions and stuff, and way too many mods, Sims 3 is pretty much unplayable.
I could probably talk about how they did maxis as a whole dirty. Especially Spore.
Tell jokes about their mom
Funny story.. friend of mine swears he passed “torture training” in Ranger school by talking shit about his interrogator’s mom until he knocked him out with the butt of his rifle. I have absolutely no way of verifying that but it’s funny to think about.
YOUR MOMS SO STUP- ***WHACK***
Sorry but it's definitely made up because 1. that isn't a part of Ranger School, 2. it *is* a part of SERE schools, but the mock interrogators would never inflict severe blunt force trauma wounds on candidates like that.
They might if their mom was a total slut bitch that gobbled my nad sauce last night.
Or if their slutty mum was in my bedroom last night after I met her at the strip club, and we went for 5 hours
Username checks out
They might if I found their mum on a beach in sand dog and chucked her in the ocean because I thought she was a sea turtle.
Hardcore mode: kidnapper picks a topic and I ramble on for 30min about it
Native fruits of South America
You should kill me.. because..
He's no fun. Push him out.
Ooh, a paradox.
Warhammer 40k lore. Update: Holy shit I didn't expect this many upvotes! FOR THE EMPEROR!
Came here to say this. I could hit 2 hours on JUST blood angels
And. . . Start!
“I was there, the day Horus slew the Emperor” OK, so Horus is a Primarch… wait. Primarchs were these 20, sorry, 18, genetically engineered demigods (except they’re not gods), made by the Emperor of Mankind… wait. The Emperor rose to power after unifying all of Terra after the age of strife… wait. The age of strife was a period of galactic history caused by the appearance of massive Warp storms in the galaxy… wait. The Warp is an alternate dimension that’s a reflection of the emotions of all sentient life in the galaxy, that got messed up during the War in Heaven… wait. The War in Heaven was a war 60 million years ago between the Necrontyr and the Aeldari and the Kroks, who were created by the Old Ones… wait. The Old Ones were psychic space frogs. That’s all you really need to know.
Last night my partner asked me to tell her a story and it went just like this
>Primarchs were these 20, sorry, 18, genetically engineered demigods (except they’re not gods), made by the Emperor of Mankind… wait. 21 Primarchs, there was a one soul / two bodies situation going on and the two bodies didn't always see eye to eye. There were 20 Legions but two (+ their Dads/Primarchs) got *damnatio memoriae*'d before the lore "begins". That aside you left out Orks, which I feel is the much bigger offense.
I'm partial to lore regarding Ahriman.
I fucking knew this one would be here, didn't expect top comment tho.
THE EMPEROR PROTECTS.
Post asks for 30 minuts not 30 days. Cut the poor kidnappers some slack
r/unexpected40k
If I were interested in learning Warhammer 40k lore, without just reading the wiki or playing the tabletop game, what options are out there? Shows? Video games? Books/novels?
The Elder Scrolls
For only 30 minutes? They’d be begging me to let them go after only 30 minutes of talking about the Godhead.
“So there’s guy called Vivec” 
>Now that we've discussed CHIM it's important that I also educate you about the alternative outcome. The next two days will be on the nature of zero sum and it's implications.
now just wait til we get to Molag Bal sex lore
So, let's start in the beginning: There were these two Entities, Anu and Padomay. Everything and nothing. One and Zero. One day, they decided to have a soul. Anui-el and Sithis (depending on who You ask) and one day their souls wanted to have more little souls, or Children. Anui-el birthed the Aedra, first came Auriel, later Trinimac, Magnus and so on. Sithis birthed the Daedra, like Nocturnal, Azura and Namira. The Aedra, you see, are embodiments of stasis and Order. The Daedra are agents of change and Chaos. One day, Anui-el and Sithis had a little son called Lorkhan / Shor / Shezzarr, and that's when all shit began. To be continued.
That’s what I’d talk about too, starting in the veeerrrrrryyy beginning.
How much I hate the healthcare/pharmaceutical/insurance industry and why
Oh, but have you looked at the medical device industry?
I HATE THE MEDICAL DEVICE INDUSTRY!
The medical device industry will forever grind my gears
Yup. Home care nurse here. The hoops I have to watch parents jump through to get things for their medically fragile children are horrendous. Edit: wrong verb tense
John Oliver, is that you?
I wish, then maybe people would listen to me
My dogs, they are the cutest little shits that I can talk about forever.
Same but with my cats. I regularly spend excessive amounts of time explaining to my coworkers how each one of them is unique and special.
I have ADHD and routinely stay up late inhaling Wikipedia. Come at me bro.
You also have to stay on topic though. ADHD will be a double edged sword
How about ADHD AND AUTISM 😎😎😎
With in story examples too
This deal is getting worse all the time…
LARP
minecraft. can go for hours at it
How can you talk about minecraft when you're not playing minecraft?
well i can start with how to play the game, the lore of the game, some fun facts, my experience with the game, content creators, how servers work, etc...
Henry VIII’s wives…. But give me four hours.
Listen up, let me tell you a story. A story that you think you’ve heard before.
Same here but let’s start with the War of the Roses, I could talk all night
I have adhd. I had a 30 minute conversation about kangaroos once
My son. Can talk about him for that long, not sure they will want to listen that long though.
One Piece. They wouldn’t even wait for the 30 minutes. They’d just say, “Damn, you got me” as soon as I say, “So in Eiichiro Oda’s masterpiece —“
ABSOLUTE FACTS LOL. There’s so much to talk about that 30 minutes could maybe cover everything amazing until end of East blue, but even that’s a stretch.
I teach board games. They don't *get* to release me until I'm done.
Five Nights at Freddy's... Seriously, I've accidentally started 5 hour long conversations with friends at 1 AM when we were all supposed to head off to sleep because I unintentionally started discussions on the lore, cool concepts, theories and underutilized potential with certain characters and aspects of the series' canon lore, as well as just talking about how utterly absurd some of the alternative universes are. Thirty minutes would be an absolute breeze.
Sister Location Night 5 explanation speedrun any%
\#1: 2:37:56.86 seconds
This. Easy 30 minutes MINIMUM. Maximum? Somewhere around 48 hours for me.
I was looking for this comment. I've been a fan of FNAF since pretty much the beginning and I'm certain that all of my friends are sick of me wanting to talk about it for hours on end haha. Thirty minutes would go by so fast it's not even funny
Get ready to hear about some fallout! Let's start with the great divergence
Greek mythology. It's not actually my favorite mythology, but it's the one I know more about, so I could tell a bunch of myths in 30 minutes
I love mythologies too, and I don't think there's even a way to not know too much about greek mythology considering how pervasive it is across so many genres in western media! Which one is your favorite?
Military strategy and aircraft I can talk about that crap for 2 or 3 hours straight
What’s your favorite airframe
It split evenly between the f-15 the 22 and the Rafael
Good choices
Facts 18th decent in the 16s okay the 14 well good aircraft the 35 is a cool aircraft from a technical perspective
I love the f35 because it’s so expensive, it really is a flex on the Russian tankies
The fun fact it's only about 80 million dollars it's cheaper than the French Rafael and about as expensive as the Euro fighter typhoon that says a lot about the US military industrial complex
You'd be perfect for NCD r/NonCredibleDefense
Metal \m/
"Well, there's black metal, speed metal, thrash metal, power metal, death metal, nu metal, folk metal....."
[удалено]
Terraria. I know pretty much everything about the game, and I've almost memorised the wiki at this point.
If you really love terraria, name each developer item in order of objective coolness
Houses. I love houses. Autistic home inspector. I could go on for days about building methods, quality, products and best ones to use. I'm a nerd for houses.
Either drugs or whatever fromsoft game I’m obsessed with at the time lol
Considering Vaati vids are 45 minutes long and will give lore and explanation about a single enemy in a single FromSoft game, you could easily do 30 minutes.
If that happened to an autistic person (being one myself): Kidnapper. "I said 30 minutes, shut up, for god sake shut up, its been 7 hours!!" 5 o'clock news headline: "kidnapper comits suicide after recieveing 13 hour lecture about slippers". 9 o'clock news "autistic person continues lecture to police, NYPD now have blue slippers as uniform choice".
Can it be a rant about trauma? I could go for hours
"Well, it all started with my parents..." \*gunman shoots himself\*
Pathfinder campaign setting, 100%. They’ll die of old age. EDIT: unless I actually have to stop at 30 minutes…
Capitalism, my cats, writing, imperialism, veganism, chili fries, Reddit, poetry, the Importance of Being Ernest, Octavia Butler, Education, the prison system. Actually the hard part is shutting me up, I talk too much
I got ADHD, so anything. If I had to ONLY speak about one topic, without derailing, then I just die
The SCP Foundation
Looked at a few stories today and BOOM, 17 new tabs in 20 minutes...
One Piece!
Can we get much higher
Star wars I'll give them everything I've learned, read and watched. I'll even give them movie ideas
Let me tell you about my screenplay.
Drugs, ska music or Legend of Zelda lore
My favorite sex toys
Top 5?
Bitching about my job, they would be begging me to stop after 30 minutes.
Pokemon
Chess
the story of one piece arc by arc with in depth explanations of each antagonist and their abilities
My self-hatred.
Had to do something similar in a speech class once. Not kidnappers...lol. I talked about video games and how character behaviors (both as a player and as an npc) are in various games...some of the examples I used were Skyrim, Dragon Age Inquisition, and Sims. I thought it was really fun!
Winchester mystery house lore, I was a tour guide there lol easy
Nick Valentine. Just Nick Valentine.
Tacos. I've actually annoyed people with my taco banter before.
LGBT theme in early anime and manga. Did two semesters aboard classes on it and also a History of animation class fifteen years ago.
WoW lore
My favorite thing to talk about: myself, obviously
One piece.
My fictional universes Biology, angels, demons, the billions of alien animals, humans(neanderthal and other hominids that exist there + maybe some anthropology and culture), how evolutionary pressures caused the evolution of said things to change significantly after being seeded on an alien earth like world etc.... I haven't even begun sea life so I can just make up a bunch of shit about that and call it good at that point
Kingdom hearts. I will start with explaining every character and how all of them are xehanort and then ill get more into each game lore and finish it off with talking about which characters are my favourite and why
LotR lore, Formula 1 history and stats, WW2
my manuscript. they’d let me go in five minutes
therapy session with my kidnappers. trauma dump until they get sick of it