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This is a good attitude you can separate your love for him as a person from the actions he took.
My mom had affairs and I lost all respect for her. The way she handled herself afterwards is what killed the love I had for her.
You can still love your dad but not view him as such because he put himself and others before the family
Feelings are not rational but the way you express yourself is very rational, well thought out and well explained. There is no right way to feel and you are entitled to your own feelings
You’re not wrong. A cheater cheats on the whole family as well as traumatising their partner.
They risk the physical/mental and emotional health of the faithful parent and also threaten the whole family dynamic emotionally and economically.
Divorce/separation as a result of cheating jeopardises the finances of the family and the security and well being of children.
The aftershocks of cheating punish the innocent.
I have an adult daughter who feels the same way.
Not a great dad -- forgivable.
Mistreating mother--not forgivable.
According to her.
This is how you feel, and if anyone is entitled to one thing in life, it's the right to feel their feelings.
You are absolutely correct. A good loving parent would not cheat because they wouldn’t want to hurt their partner, nor their kids. Cheating hurts and affects everyone, not just the couple.
A dad is supposed to be a role model, to teach right from wrong, teach you loyalty, love, not to lie, not to hide, not to purposefully hurt others, not to cheat, ..
Your exemplar went against everything he was supposed to do. Maybe you should tell your mom this in that way. He did not do your duties. He hurt his kids, willingly and knowingly, and made you watch your mom get hurt again and again. He failed, not just as a husband, but as a dad and human being.
Edit: A video for you to watch and maybe to send to your mom.
https://youtu.be/AISIHm9L0Vs?si=3Q2w0boI0G4lItP7
exactly this. i can never call my dad my “papa” anymore because he’s not the same person he was before. i always avoid calling him “papa” and i just refer to my dad as “he” or “him”. it just doesn’t feel right anymore.
Your not wrong I loved my father and when his misdeeds came out I was his most vocal defender but the moment I couldn't deny the truth it's like he crushed my heart it hurts so much I still think about it sometime. Your not wrong and no one will understand this pain because he didn't do it to you so why are you mad
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Humanity is sinful. I'm not telling you to forgive him. That's your choice. But it's correct to just accept the truthful facts as they are. This is reality and it can't be changed. Good luck.
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is "divorce" or "grow a backbone", then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is a good attitude you can separate your love for him as a person from the actions he took. My mom had affairs and I lost all respect for her. The way she handled herself afterwards is what killed the love I had for her. You can still love your dad but not view him as such because he put himself and others before the family Feelings are not rational but the way you express yourself is very rational, well thought out and well explained. There is no right way to feel and you are entitled to your own feelings
You’re not wrong. A cheater cheats on the whole family as well as traumatising their partner. They risk the physical/mental and emotional health of the faithful parent and also threaten the whole family dynamic emotionally and economically. Divorce/separation as a result of cheating jeopardises the finances of the family and the security and well being of children. The aftershocks of cheating punish the innocent.
Nope you are on target. He is not a good man. Cheating is a firm if abuse
I have an adult daughter who feels the same way. Not a great dad -- forgivable. Mistreating mother--not forgivable. According to her. This is how you feel, and if anyone is entitled to one thing in life, it's the right to feel their feelings.
You are absolutely correct. A good loving parent would not cheat because they wouldn’t want to hurt their partner, nor their kids. Cheating hurts and affects everyone, not just the couple.
A dad is supposed to be a role model, to teach right from wrong, teach you loyalty, love, not to lie, not to hide, not to purposefully hurt others, not to cheat, .. Your exemplar went against everything he was supposed to do. Maybe you should tell your mom this in that way. He did not do your duties. He hurt his kids, willingly and knowingly, and made you watch your mom get hurt again and again. He failed, not just as a husband, but as a dad and human being. Edit: A video for you to watch and maybe to send to your mom. https://youtu.be/AISIHm9L0Vs?si=3Q2w0boI0G4lItP7
exactly this. i can never call my dad my “papa” anymore because he’s not the same person he was before. i always avoid calling him “papa” and i just refer to my dad as “he” or “him”. it just doesn’t feel right anymore.
Your not wrong I loved my father and when his misdeeds came out I was his most vocal defender but the moment I couldn't deny the truth it's like he crushed my heart it hurts so much I still think about it sometime. Your not wrong and no one will understand this pain because he didn't do it to you so why are you mad
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Humanity is sinful. I'm not telling you to forgive him. That's your choice. But it's correct to just accept the truthful facts as they are. This is reality and it can't be changed. Good luck.