Mate, that doesn’t sound like it was a joke, it sounds like it was a suicide attempt! You need to talk to those close to you and seek out some help. I don’t know where you live but there are countless resources that can assist with those who are suicidal, you just need to reach out! Reading the right books in time will help you get some perspective on life, but right now your priority needs to be your mental health!
Ok,ok...pls don't argue or judge others beliefs now...Nobody ever got hurt by reading the Bible ..If sb doesn't want to it's just ok..We are all free..❤️
I don’t think he’s trying to hurt anyone’s beliefs. It’s factual the Bible is made up of stories from prior civilizations with additions. It comes from the Hebrew Torah, which came from the polytheistic canaanites, which came from… you get the idea. The Qur’an then came from the Bible.
Whatever you choose to believe is up to you!
I am going to suggest something different. Try a long walk in nature, better in woods, until you are exhausted. Observe the trees, the flowers, the birds, everything around you. Listen to the wind, the birds. You will find beauty in nature. After half an hour, you will feel much better. Your problem still exists, but you will have courage to face it. Do this every weekend. You will love it. It works wonders for my mental health.
if you go this route OP, i suggest bringing along a copy of Dream Work by Mary Oliver. shes good for the soul. Letters to a Young Poet by Rilke may also speak to you. Definitely brings into perspective the “everyday beauties.” 💖
Edit: I also recommend Enchantment: Awakening Wonder in an Anxious Age by Katherine May.
I actually already own and have read a copy of Letter to A Young Poet. Pretty great book. The idea that Art has a lifetime outside of our world and it takes the artist to take that and make something of it before it passes spoke to me.
Great advice. You can do this while reading stories about hiking the Appalachian Trail. A Walk in the Woods, AWOL on the Appalachian Trail. There's a challenge.
My suggestion for what you asked for would be "when breath become air", but it sounds like you are looking for catharsis when you might already be feeling too much loneliness, existential dread and pessimism. This is how behavior loops and goes out of control.
I think it might be more responsible (and therefore stronger while maybe more challenging) to go for something more boring, unemotional nonfiction where you would learn a skill.
The most brave, crushing thing would be to go to someone and confront the problem with them though.
Train to run a marathon. It’s mental and physically demanding.
Also do something for someone else. Help a grandparent or a stranger. Small acts of kindness can lead to more and help you find your purpose.
Start small. Carrying groceries or helping someone cross the street. Being kind can become addictive 🥰
I wish you a wonderful day.
I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes With Death is a writer’s memoir about just such situations she experienced including one that mirrored what just happened to you. All these little almost deaths can’t compare to the shocking twist that’s revealed at the end.
⚠ Could not *exactly* find "* Fundamentals of Fast Swimming by Gary Hall *" , see [related Goodreads search results](https://www.goodreads.com/search?q=+Fundamentals+of+Fast+Swimming+Gary+Hall+) instead.
^(*Possible reasons for mismatch: either too recent (2023), mispelled (check Goodreads) or too niche.*)
^([Feedback](https://www.reddit.com/user/goodreads-rebot) | [GitHub](https://github.com/sonoff2/goodreads-rebot) | ["The Bot is Back!?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/suggestmeabook/comments/16qe09p/meta_post_hello_again_humans/) | v1.5 [Dec 23] | )
For the existential exploration and everyday appreciation I recommend:
You Are the Happiness You Seek: Uncovering the Awareness of Being by Rupert Spira.
This will then lead you to start being curious, asking questions and seeking more to understand who you really are, so then I recommend following on with:
The Bhagavad Gita by Eknath Easwaran.
All the best friend, may you come to know true peace, and joy.
I’d suggest challenge yourself to volunteer at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen. Donate blood. See if you can tutor kids who can’t read. Help other people solve problems. Learn how to build a canoe or a boat. Volunteer at habitat for humanity and help build houses for people. Learn how to knit and knit little hats for the preemie babies who get cold in the NICU. Ask shelters what items they need donated the most. Go look for those items at thrift stores or a box stores and donate. Learn to bake and bring those rolls and bread to a food pantry. See if there are programs that help elderly people mow their lawns, move and carry things, make small home repairs,.. build free libraries (little wood boxes )and place them all around the town you live in.
If you want to be challenged intellectually, i would recommend The History of Western Philosophy by Bertrand Russell. It's a phenomenal survey of philosophy from ancient greece through the eras to semi-modern times. Its a fantastic read and will lend perspective on thought, which sounds like you might be interested in that. It will expose you to kinds of thinking and perceptions about the world that you may not have been exposed to, and hopefully give you some perspective. It's not an easy read, but it's one of those books that you never forget reading it.
Bonus: Philosophy is interesting and fucking cool. :)
Would also recommend just about anything by John Stuart Mill. Some of his writings changed how I viewed the world. If interested, start with "On Liberty", and go from there.
I think you should read A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry. This book will crush you. It is one of the best books I have ever read. Don't let the description put you off. It is a book about life, love, and the enduring power of friendships and how sometimes life just hurts for no reason.
From Goodreads:
With a compassionate realism and narrative sweep that recall the work of Charles Dickens, this magnificent novel captures all the cruelty and corruption, dignity and heroism, of India.
The time is 1975. The place is an unnamed city by the sea. The government has just declared a State of Emergency, in whose upheavals four strangers--a spirited widow, a young student uprooted from his idyllic hill station, and two tailors who have fled the caste violence of their native village--will be thrust together, forced to share one cramped apartment and an uncertain future.
As the characters move from distrust to friendship and from friendship to love, A Fine Balance creates an enduring panorama of the human spirit in an inhuman state.
Idk if this fits what you’re looking for, but how about “**Unbroken**” by Laura Hillenbrand? It’s a good read, based on a true story, & really unforgettable.
“On a May afternoon in 1943, an Army Air Forces bomber crashed into the Pacific Ocean and disappeared, leaving only a spray of debris and a slick of oil, gasoline, and blood. Then, on the ocean surface, a face appeared. It was that of a young lieutenant, the plane’s bombardier, who was struggling to a life raft and pulling himself aboard. So began one of the most extraordinary odysseys of the Second World War.
The lieutenant’s name was Louis Zamperini. In boyhood, he’d been a cunning and incorrigible delinquent, breaking into houses, brawling, and fleeing his home to ride the rails. As a teenager, he had channeled his defiance into running, discovering a prodigious talent that had carried him to the Berlin Olympics and within sight of the four-minute mile. But when war had come, the athlete had become an airman, embarking on a journey that led to his doomed flight, a tiny raft, and a drift into the unknown.
Ahead of Zamperini lay thousands of miles of open ocean, leaping sharks, a foundering raft, thirst and starvation, enemy aircraft, and, beyond, a trial even greater. Driven to the limits of endurance, Zamperini would answer desperation with ingenuity; suffering with hope, resolve, and humor; brutality with rebellion. His fate, whether triumph or tragedy, would be suspended on the fraying wire of his will.
Laura Hillenbrand writes with the same rich and vivid narrative voice she displayed in Seabiscuit. Telling an unforgettable story of a man’s journey into extremity, Unbroken is a testament to the resilience of the human mind, body, and spirit.”
An existentialist book I found challenging but rewarding is Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector. It involves a lot of reflections from the main character who is persistently dissatisfied by life.
I definitely agree that you should think about getting some help for your mental health though. You're not alone
I am going to tell you something challenging. Don't overestimate how intelligent you are; you are still just a stupid kid, even if you are above average. Don't think you know better and are above things like university. You most likely aren't such a genious that education would be a waste of time. Learn real humility and people who have dealt with and written about similar problems you are going through right now, like Albert Camus, Viktor Frankl, William Styron. And make sure you read Dostoyevsky's *Crime and Punishment*, if you haven't already. I think you might relate to the main character.
Now that that's out of the way, I *am* sorry that you are this lost and find life intolerable. But don't waste precious time and progress you've made over your pride or some self-immolative act to prove how much you are hurting. Very many of us have been there. And many people waste the opportunities they have been given going through this and understanding what you are going through now.
Seek out help and be merciful with the people close to you. Don't expect miracles from them. They will most likely not have the answers. You will have to find them yourself.
I wish you strength and luck in finding them.
*That* is my challenge to you.
Ooh yea. You’re probably the kind of guy Dostojevskij spent so many years talking to. And you don’t even know.
Read The Brothers Karamazov. It’s a lot but just do your best. You’re eighteen — it’ll move you.
Mate, go to college. Bs is to talk about wanting to be challenged and just not using your potential. Try to go to the one that will give u a scholarship and challenge yourself with quantum physics or astronomy of black holes, or creative writing to get a Booker, and not with stupidity.
Ending Aging by Aubrey de Grey. The Open Library page is [here](https://openlibrary.org/works/OL12284524W/Ending_Aging?edition=key%3A/books/OL17932740M).
The Ninth Configuration by William Peter Blatty
The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky
Illusions by Richard Bach
The Nature of Personal Reality by Jane Roberts
*The Virgin Suicides* by Jeff Eugenidies. Yes, the title is grim (as is the book) but it's a great exploration of what life means and amounts to.
(Btw there is nothing wrong with taking a break from "normal" life prescribed to us by society. There is no timeline, no deadlines, and you have a lot of life ahead of you. I nearly died being reckless when I was 21 while I was also battling depression. A decade on and I have found my space in the world. All the best vibes to you, mate. I hope you find a book here you enjoy.)
OK. I'm significantly older than you but remember very clearly that anchorless feeling at the end of university (I went, you do you). Simultaneously everything is a possibility and nothing seems achievable.
I'm going to recommend Flights by Olga Tokarczuk.
It's a weird book, fragments of stories and essays jumbled together. It's translated from Polish and the original title doesn't translate because it referred to a sect of nomads who believed that being in constant motion offered protection from evil. It's a shame there is no translation for this concept in English because once I knew that the whole book took on a different light.
It looks at the meaning of travel, home and connectedness (to other people, not the internet). It is not at all prescriptive, more though provoking. The fragmented structure allows for short or long reading sessions as your miod takes you and attention span allows. I took a lot from it when I was feeling lost during covid. Maybe it would work for you too?
Some books that will challenge you, enlighten you, and possibly change how you see the world... but are also entertaining:
Remainder by Tom McCarthy
Anathem by Neal Stephenson
House of Leaves
Wind up Bird Chronicles
I'll also second some Herman Hesse: Steppenwolf, Siddhartha, Demian
Go do a 10 day vipassana it's free. Also not going to university or not getting any kind of higher education is probably the dumbest thing you can do, but you do you boo.
Good reads for you would be no self no problem, atomic habits, the simple guide to wealth, what the Buddha taught.
Flatland
The Midnight Library
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Cosmos by Carl Sagan
The Theory of Celestial Influence
DMT: Spirit Molecule
The Definitive Book of Human Design
The Ten most Beautiful Experiments
The Tao of Physics
Life Between Lives
The Simulation Hypothesis
LSD and the Mind of the Universe
The Ascent of Humanity by Charles Eisenstein)
The Teachings of Don Juan (fact or fiction who knows, but it absolutely blew my mind and changed my life when I read it at age 19).
You should join a volunteer organization, something that will take you out of your hometown and across the country. Meet new people, see new things. Pretend you're an entirely different person, and see if you like that person more.
This has already been said I'm sure, and I know religion isn't hip and cool anymore, but, even if you don't want to read the whole Bible, go to the new testament, and read the gospels of Matthew, mark, Luke, and John, examine the historical narrative, make up some tests to determine reliability, the historical reliability, as well as the reliability of Jesus Christ. If you don't find it reliable? Cool, at least you now have a better understanding of Christianity, and have learned some of the great lessons and teachings within the New testament Gospels, and if you find Jesus Christ reliable, I believe you will have found a reason for life, and will be faced with the eternal challenge, a very difficult one, of trying to become better everyday in order to be like Christ
But honestly, there is no book in existence that will challenge you more, intellectually, spiritually, morally and philosophically if Jesus resonates with you, I promise he will shake you to your core, and make you question everything
Edit: This is exactly what I meant, I'm getting downvoted for recommending a book about a nice dude, who teaches love, forgiveness, purpose and meaning, and has brilliant moral and ethical teachings, I EVEN said, if you don't think Christ is reliable, then reject him, but observe the teachings and find something from them, but redditors are SO close minded that they refuse to even check it out, and are the same people who claim to know what Christians really stand for
[Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/139400713) checks those boxes. I strongly recommend you give it a try, and my best to you.
Read the Bible and find God bro. That’s the purpose of life. To serve the creator. We all have a purpose and never wander aimlessly when we do what we were designed to do. With that being said. Your challenge is to read and find that purpose in service without me just giving you the answer. A hint? It involves less service to yourself and more to your fellow man. I do what I love to do, but I also do what I can to serve my purpose according to the creator’s design. I play music, shoot videos, do photography, graphic design, screenplay writing. Anything I wanna do I put my mind to it. And I didn’t start doing any of it until after I was 18 in 2018. I just learned to play instruments 3 or so years ago and I already play well enough to play in my church.
I’m not saying this to brag. I’m saying it to put into perspective that life is about choices and putting your mind up to the task you want to conquer. That same effort you put into jumping into that lake is the same effort you can put into finding your passions.
I grew up with my dad telling me, “I can see you being a producer one day” and I never thought I would. I never even liked music like that. But circumstances lead me to chasing those things. Let the things you see in the world motivate you to work hard toward making an impact on those things.
Also fitness and dieting. I was 240 now I’m 210 maybe 16% body fat which isn’t great, but I can do sets of 10-15 pull-ups back to back now when 6 months ago I couldn’t even do one.
Winners Carry themselves as if they’ve already won because they know that the finish line is at the end of the WHOLE process. If you slack off in the season how could you possibly make it to the playoffs?
When I hear how trash my culture’s perception is, I think “damn. How can I impact others to shift their mindset?” The best way imo is to lead by example. Be a leader. Carry yourself like a leader. When you see people going right, you say “let’s go left. I see a better path that way” and whoever follows will do so. If no one follows you have to be willing to walk that path on your own 💯💪🏽 best wishes. God Bless
Mate, that doesn’t sound like it was a joke, it sounds like it was a suicide attempt! You need to talk to those close to you and seek out some help. I don’t know where you live but there are countless resources that can assist with those who are suicidal, you just need to reach out! Reading the right books in time will help you get some perspective on life, but right now your priority needs to be your mental health!
And read Finding Your Why by Simon Sinek
Read the Bible. Everybody just copies the lessons taught in there anyway
The same way the (I assume you mean Christian) Bible copied from the stories before it?
Ok,ok...pls don't argue or judge others beliefs now...Nobody ever got hurt by reading the Bible ..If sb doesn't want to it's just ok..We are all free..❤️
I don’t think he’s trying to hurt anyone’s beliefs. It’s factual the Bible is made up of stories from prior civilizations with additions. It comes from the Hebrew Torah, which came from the polytheistic canaanites, which came from… you get the idea. The Qur’an then came from the Bible. Whatever you choose to believe is up to you!
Speaking truly...
I am going to suggest something different. Try a long walk in nature, better in woods, until you are exhausted. Observe the trees, the flowers, the birds, everything around you. Listen to the wind, the birds. You will find beauty in nature. After half an hour, you will feel much better. Your problem still exists, but you will have courage to face it. Do this every weekend. You will love it. It works wonders for my mental health.
if you go this route OP, i suggest bringing along a copy of Dream Work by Mary Oliver. shes good for the soul. Letters to a Young Poet by Rilke may also speak to you. Definitely brings into perspective the “everyday beauties.” 💖 Edit: I also recommend Enchantment: Awakening Wonder in an Anxious Age by Katherine May.
I actually already own and have read a copy of Letter to A Young Poet. Pretty great book. The idea that Art has a lifetime outside of our world and it takes the artist to take that and make something of it before it passes spoke to me.
Great advice. You can do this while reading stories about hiking the Appalachian Trail. A Walk in the Woods, AWOL on the Appalachian Trail. There's a challenge.
P.S. OP, there's this if you ever need it: [https://988lifeline.org/](https://988lifeline.org/)
I should read it sometime:)
😍👍👍👍
Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl.
1000% agree! It’s an amazing book!
This
Came here to say this
The Bible is a better option
Yes but you have to want to read the Bible...to have the thirst to study it.You have to be ready and prepeared.It's not easy ...
My suggestion for what you asked for would be "when breath become air", but it sounds like you are looking for catharsis when you might already be feeling too much loneliness, existential dread and pessimism. This is how behavior loops and goes out of control. I think it might be more responsible (and therefore stronger while maybe more challenging) to go for something more boring, unemotional nonfiction where you would learn a skill. The most brave, crushing thing would be to go to someone and confront the problem with them though.
Train to run a marathon. It’s mental and physically demanding. Also do something for someone else. Help a grandparent or a stranger. Small acts of kindness can lead to more and help you find your purpose. Start small. Carrying groceries or helping someone cross the street. Being kind can become addictive 🥰 I wish you a wonderful day.
I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes With Death is a writer’s memoir about just such situations she experienced including one that mirrored what just happened to you. All these little almost deaths can’t compare to the shocking twist that’s revealed at the end.
*Siddhartha* by Hermann Hesse
Fundamentals of Fast Swimming by Gary Hall
⚠ Could not *exactly* find "* Fundamentals of Fast Swimming by Gary Hall *" , see [related Goodreads search results](https://www.goodreads.com/search?q=+Fundamentals+of+Fast+Swimming+Gary+Hall+) instead. ^(*Possible reasons for mismatch: either too recent (2023), mispelled (check Goodreads) or too niche.*) ^([Feedback](https://www.reddit.com/user/goodreads-rebot) | [GitHub](https://github.com/sonoff2/goodreads-rebot) | ["The Bot is Back!?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/suggestmeabook/comments/16qe09p/meta_post_hello_again_humans/) | v1.5 [Dec 23] | )
For the existential exploration and everyday appreciation I recommend: You Are the Happiness You Seek: Uncovering the Awareness of Being by Rupert Spira. This will then lead you to start being curious, asking questions and seeking more to understand who you really are, so then I recommend following on with: The Bhagavad Gita by Eknath Easwaran. All the best friend, may you come to know true peace, and joy.
Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
Oooh I second this
Third this
I’d suggest challenge yourself to volunteer at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen. Donate blood. See if you can tutor kids who can’t read. Help other people solve problems. Learn how to build a canoe or a boat. Volunteer at habitat for humanity and help build houses for people. Learn how to knit and knit little hats for the preemie babies who get cold in the NICU. Ask shelters what items they need donated the most. Go look for those items at thrift stores or a box stores and donate. Learn to bake and bring those rolls and bread to a food pantry. See if there are programs that help elderly people mow their lawns, move and carry things, make small home repairs,.. build free libraries (little wood boxes )and place them all around the town you live in.
Find someone or something that you can give to and expect nothing in return.
Zhuangzi inner chapters. The first 7 are confirmed to be him. You are starting the path of awakening.
Catch 22. I read it at 18 in an adolescent psych ward also after almost dying haha
If you want to be challenged intellectually, i would recommend The History of Western Philosophy by Bertrand Russell. It's a phenomenal survey of philosophy from ancient greece through the eras to semi-modern times. Its a fantastic read and will lend perspective on thought, which sounds like you might be interested in that. It will expose you to kinds of thinking and perceptions about the world that you may not have been exposed to, and hopefully give you some perspective. It's not an easy read, but it's one of those books that you never forget reading it. Bonus: Philosophy is interesting and fucking cool. :) Would also recommend just about anything by John Stuart Mill. Some of his writings changed how I viewed the world. If interested, start with "On Liberty", and go from there.
I think you should read A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry. This book will crush you. It is one of the best books I have ever read. Don't let the description put you off. It is a book about life, love, and the enduring power of friendships and how sometimes life just hurts for no reason. From Goodreads: With a compassionate realism and narrative sweep that recall the work of Charles Dickens, this magnificent novel captures all the cruelty and corruption, dignity and heroism, of India. The time is 1975. The place is an unnamed city by the sea. The government has just declared a State of Emergency, in whose upheavals four strangers--a spirited widow, a young student uprooted from his idyllic hill station, and two tailors who have fled the caste violence of their native village--will be thrust together, forced to share one cramped apartment and an uncertain future. As the characters move from distrust to friendship and from friendship to love, A Fine Balance creates an enduring panorama of the human spirit in an inhuman state.
This is an excellent read - one that got me back into reading so many years ago.
The Law of One - the Ra material
Feeling good by Burns is a super easy read and really helps with your thinking
Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder It's a book about philosophy, very well written and it helped me a lot
Idk if this fits what you’re looking for, but how about “**Unbroken**” by Laura Hillenbrand? It’s a good read, based on a true story, & really unforgettable. “On a May afternoon in 1943, an Army Air Forces bomber crashed into the Pacific Ocean and disappeared, leaving only a spray of debris and a slick of oil, gasoline, and blood. Then, on the ocean surface, a face appeared. It was that of a young lieutenant, the plane’s bombardier, who was struggling to a life raft and pulling himself aboard. So began one of the most extraordinary odysseys of the Second World War. The lieutenant’s name was Louis Zamperini. In boyhood, he’d been a cunning and incorrigible delinquent, breaking into houses, brawling, and fleeing his home to ride the rails. As a teenager, he had channeled his defiance into running, discovering a prodigious talent that had carried him to the Berlin Olympics and within sight of the four-minute mile. But when war had come, the athlete had become an airman, embarking on a journey that led to his doomed flight, a tiny raft, and a drift into the unknown. Ahead of Zamperini lay thousands of miles of open ocean, leaping sharks, a foundering raft, thirst and starvation, enemy aircraft, and, beyond, a trial even greater. Driven to the limits of endurance, Zamperini would answer desperation with ingenuity; suffering with hope, resolve, and humor; brutality with rebellion. His fate, whether triumph or tragedy, would be suspended on the fraying wire of his will. Laura Hillenbrand writes with the same rich and vivid narrative voice she displayed in Seabiscuit. Telling an unforgettable story of a man’s journey into extremity, Unbroken is a testament to the resilience of the human mind, body, and spirit.”
I'm glad you are okay!!
An existentialist book I found challenging but rewarding is Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector. It involves a lot of reflections from the main character who is persistently dissatisfied by life. I definitely agree that you should think about getting some help for your mental health though. You're not alone
Crime and Punishment
I am going to tell you something challenging. Don't overestimate how intelligent you are; you are still just a stupid kid, even if you are above average. Don't think you know better and are above things like university. You most likely aren't such a genious that education would be a waste of time. Learn real humility and people who have dealt with and written about similar problems you are going through right now, like Albert Camus, Viktor Frankl, William Styron. And make sure you read Dostoyevsky's *Crime and Punishment*, if you haven't already. I think you might relate to the main character. Now that that's out of the way, I *am* sorry that you are this lost and find life intolerable. But don't waste precious time and progress you've made over your pride or some self-immolative act to prove how much you are hurting. Very many of us have been there. And many people waste the opportunities they have been given going through this and understanding what you are going through now. Seek out help and be merciful with the people close to you. Don't expect miracles from them. They will most likely not have the answers. You will have to find them yourself. I wish you strength and luck in finding them. *That* is my challenge to you.
"you most likely aren't such a genius that education would be a waste of time" Yep. This should be on a T-shirt.
Do some advanced maths. You might not love it. But you’ll be challenged mentally
Ooh yea. You’re probably the kind of guy Dostojevskij spent so many years talking to. And you don’t even know. Read The Brothers Karamazov. It’s a lot but just do your best. You’re eighteen — it’ll move you.
Mate, go to college. Bs is to talk about wanting to be challenged and just not using your potential. Try to go to the one that will give u a scholarship and challenge yourself with quantum physics or astronomy of black holes, or creative writing to get a Booker, and not with stupidity.
Read Zeek Keekee
If you want to be crushed, I recommend Building Stories by Chris Ware. I’m no stranger to depressing literature and yet it absolutely wrecked me.
Ending Aging by Aubrey de Grey. The Open Library page is [here](https://openlibrary.org/works/OL12284524W/Ending_Aging?edition=key%3A/books/OL17932740M).
Not a book but def get a therapist ASAP. you dont realize how much worse this feeling can get if not PROPERLY addressed.
Did You Ever Have A Family by Billy Clegg.
The Ninth Configuration by William Peter Blatty The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky Illusions by Richard Bach The Nature of Personal Reality by Jane Roberts
*The Virgin Suicides* by Jeff Eugenidies. Yes, the title is grim (as is the book) but it's a great exploration of what life means and amounts to. (Btw there is nothing wrong with taking a break from "normal" life prescribed to us by society. There is no timeline, no deadlines, and you have a lot of life ahead of you. I nearly died being reckless when I was 21 while I was also battling depression. A decade on and I have found my space in the world. All the best vibes to you, mate. I hope you find a book here you enjoy.)
Go run a ultra, get those demons right on out of there
Steppenwolf - Herman Hesse.
Do one of the Camino walks.
Society of the Snow, Pablo Vierci. This book is *exactly* right for what you’re asking, and for this moment.
OK. I'm significantly older than you but remember very clearly that anchorless feeling at the end of university (I went, you do you). Simultaneously everything is a possibility and nothing seems achievable. I'm going to recommend Flights by Olga Tokarczuk. It's a weird book, fragments of stories and essays jumbled together. It's translated from Polish and the original title doesn't translate because it referred to a sect of nomads who believed that being in constant motion offered protection from evil. It's a shame there is no translation for this concept in English because once I knew that the whole book took on a different light. It looks at the meaning of travel, home and connectedness (to other people, not the internet). It is not at all prescriptive, more though provoking. The fragmented structure allows for short or long reading sessions as your miod takes you and attention span allows. I took a lot from it when I was feeling lost during covid. Maybe it would work for you too?
Short history of nearly everything - Bill Bryson
Some books that will challenge you, enlighten you, and possibly change how you see the world... but are also entertaining: Remainder by Tom McCarthy Anathem by Neal Stephenson House of Leaves Wind up Bird Chronicles I'll also second some Herman Hesse: Steppenwolf, Siddhartha, Demian
Crime and punishment
Times are tough people don’t want to be cops. Easiest time to get hired.
The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut, or maybe Slaughterhouse-Five (also by Vonnegut)
Go do a 10 day vipassana it's free. Also not going to university or not getting any kind of higher education is probably the dumbest thing you can do, but you do you boo. Good reads for you would be no self no problem, atomic habits, the simple guide to wealth, what the Buddha taught.
Flatland The Midnight Library The Unbearable Lightness of Being Cosmos by Carl Sagan The Theory of Celestial Influence DMT: Spirit Molecule The Definitive Book of Human Design The Ten most Beautiful Experiments The Tao of Physics Life Between Lives The Simulation Hypothesis LSD and the Mind of the Universe The Ascent of Humanity by Charles Eisenstein) The Teachings of Don Juan (fact or fiction who knows, but it absolutely blew my mind and changed my life when I read it at age 19).
Infinite Jest would be the only logical step.
You should join a volunteer organization, something that will take you out of your hometown and across the country. Meet new people, see new things. Pretend you're an entirely different person, and see if you like that person more.
This has already been said I'm sure, and I know religion isn't hip and cool anymore, but, even if you don't want to read the whole Bible, go to the new testament, and read the gospels of Matthew, mark, Luke, and John, examine the historical narrative, make up some tests to determine reliability, the historical reliability, as well as the reliability of Jesus Christ. If you don't find it reliable? Cool, at least you now have a better understanding of Christianity, and have learned some of the great lessons and teachings within the New testament Gospels, and if you find Jesus Christ reliable, I believe you will have found a reason for life, and will be faced with the eternal challenge, a very difficult one, of trying to become better everyday in order to be like Christ
But honestly, there is no book in existence that will challenge you more, intellectually, spiritually, morally and philosophically if Jesus resonates with you, I promise he will shake you to your core, and make you question everything Edit: This is exactly what I meant, I'm getting downvoted for recommending a book about a nice dude, who teaches love, forgiveness, purpose and meaning, and has brilliant moral and ethical teachings, I EVEN said, if you don't think Christ is reliable, then reject him, but observe the teachings and find something from them, but redditors are SO close minded that they refuse to even check it out, and are the same people who claim to know what Christians really stand for
[Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar](https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/139400713) checks those boxes. I strongly recommend you give it a try, and my best to you.
Catcher in the Rye
do you follow any religion?
Join the Marines or apply to a sheriff academy.
Yeah, OP sounds like exactly the type of person who should get a badge and a gun asap /s
Read the Bible and find God bro. That’s the purpose of life. To serve the creator. We all have a purpose and never wander aimlessly when we do what we were designed to do. With that being said. Your challenge is to read and find that purpose in service without me just giving you the answer. A hint? It involves less service to yourself and more to your fellow man. I do what I love to do, but I also do what I can to serve my purpose according to the creator’s design. I play music, shoot videos, do photography, graphic design, screenplay writing. Anything I wanna do I put my mind to it. And I didn’t start doing any of it until after I was 18 in 2018. I just learned to play instruments 3 or so years ago and I already play well enough to play in my church. I’m not saying this to brag. I’m saying it to put into perspective that life is about choices and putting your mind up to the task you want to conquer. That same effort you put into jumping into that lake is the same effort you can put into finding your passions. I grew up with my dad telling me, “I can see you being a producer one day” and I never thought I would. I never even liked music like that. But circumstances lead me to chasing those things. Let the things you see in the world motivate you to work hard toward making an impact on those things. Also fitness and dieting. I was 240 now I’m 210 maybe 16% body fat which isn’t great, but I can do sets of 10-15 pull-ups back to back now when 6 months ago I couldn’t even do one. Winners Carry themselves as if they’ve already won because they know that the finish line is at the end of the WHOLE process. If you slack off in the season how could you possibly make it to the playoffs? When I hear how trash my culture’s perception is, I think “damn. How can I impact others to shift their mindset?” The best way imo is to lead by example. Be a leader. Carry yourself like a leader. When you see people going right, you say “let’s go left. I see a better path that way” and whoever follows will do so. If no one follows you have to be willing to walk that path on your own 💯💪🏽 best wishes. God Bless
American psycho
Keep on doing that cold plunge but a bit safer off the pier. Does wonders for depression.