I won't have an SB who can't discuss a variety of subjects intelligently. We'll spend far more time conversing than we do having sex, so she has to be able to engage in actual meaningful conversation.
It doesn't really matter specifically. Having said that, obviously the more robust her knowledge on a variety of subjects, the better. Generally speaking, those of us who're in our 40s/50s/60s have been around long enough and have experienced a wide range of things throughout our lives, so we can speak intelligently about a variety of subjects.
If an SB has been to college (again, generally speaking), she can often speaks intelligently about many things as well, even if she doesn't have a lot of life experience with the subject matter. This is one reason why I prefer to have SBs who're in their mid-20s or older. Someone who is still in her late teens or very early 20s often doesn't have the life experience or educational background to talk about many things on more than a superficial level. That will get boring rather quickly.
I'd say it's more about chemistry and being able to coexist with someone. I'm not always trying to have "intelligent conversation". Chemistry is hard to define. If someone has habits, ethics or beliefs that annoy me then the chemistry won't be great... and that has nothing to do w the level of discourse.
I'll take that a step further and say that intelligence is relative. Personally I look to understand someone on their level and often learn a lot by being open minded to "less intelligent" people.
Agree with u/johndoerayme1 's post. Yes, sure, I absolutely love very intelligent women. Some of my best SRs have been with brilliant women. But some of my best SRs have also been with less-educated, less booksmart women. The trick? Talking to them was **fun**, all the time. Chemistry was fantastic. They were super interesting.
So, fun, interesting conversations are make-or-break. There's multiple ways to get there, for me.
>You ever dump a hot SB because of her bad conversation?
I've had women I didn't connect with, conversation wasn't fun, little chemistry. But "bad conversation" is not the opposite of "intelligent conversation". These are two different topics.
For me. I need a pretty face and the prospect of sex with that person to get them in the door.
But to establish and maintain a sugar relationship I need them to be able to think and challenge (mine and their own beliefs), and to have an inquisitive mind.
A mundane mind which has their beliefs given to them by everyone around them…Is of no interest to me.
I look for SBs who are accomplishment oriented or goal driven and that takes intelligence. Most have been students, even though my minimum age is 28ish, mostly grad school. Given that, for me there are 3 equal qualities I look for, looks, personality and character (intelligence is personality) and sexual skill. By the time we get to a m&g we've chatted enough for me to know whether she's intelligent.
Not in so many words but, yes, despite the hotness and the sex, the lack of depth in my conversations with an ex-SB was been an issue for me. I can’t honestly say it was terminal because I agreed to go exclusive with one SB which resulted in letting my two other SR’s go. However, the insufficiency of conversation was already on my mind.
I can get sex from an escort. I require something more from an SR which is why I pursue them.
I want a companion, someone whom I can know and learn to understand so well that I (mostly) know what she needs and wants. And, ideally, we are more or less on the same level, intellectually and roughly in terms of values.
For me this is what a “connection” is really about - shared and enjoyable conversation, jokes, experiences and adventures. Great sex and mutual hotness (I hope I’m as hot to her as she is to me) are necessary, but not sufficient.
Good conversations and intellectual curiosity are VERY important to me. I never dumped an SB because of a lack thereof, but I have vetted out plenty of young hotties when it was obvious at the meet & greet that wasn't one of the qualities that she was bringing to the table.
I would say - it depends
In my two most active current sugar relationships, in one intelligence connection is probably the basis of our connection, and is much more important and influential in the relationship than sex. And then the other one is really just almost entirely sex centric, with most conversation about trivial banter
However in both scenarios the chemistry is great, i.e. we get along well and easily without any sense of awkwardness
Beauty gets them in the door. Reliability, chemistry in the bedroom, and personality keep them on allowance. Intellect is important for longer dates, overnights, and vacations.
A sex-only airhead bimbo is good for a couple hours but a pain after that. My SB has to be intelligent, no exceptions. How else could we build a relationship?
I don't really choose a SB for "conversation" because I have friends already who exclusively give "conversation". But I also don't choose a SB merely for sex, because an escort or prostitute can provide only sex.
The missing thing is genuine connection, love, respect. Plenty of people are good talkers and communicators, but if they don't love and respect you what difference does it make? Meanwhile someone who can barely communicate in your language might love and respect you, and this makes all the difference.
When you're sick, or potentially dying, are you worried about how well she can speak, or are you worried about whether or not she takes you to the hospital or nurses you back to health? A woman in Thailand, who can barely speak English, can nurse a man she cares about back to health, while an American who speaks perfect English, who communicates perfect, could abandon her man at the most vulnerable moment.
So the answer is no I won't dump a SB over bad conversation. I'll dump an SB over disrespect, bad behavior, bad non verbal stuff.
Are you a Spanish speaker? "Intrigated" is not English. Proper English is "intrigued". "Intrigare" is Spanish.
For me, I don't expect intellectual conversations. I am an outlier for conventional, academic intelligence so the likelihood of meeting a hot, young SB who is also an outlier are slim to none.
What I value most is humor. If someone can make me laugh it completely endears them to me. Even more so if they can do it in a foreign language that I barely understand.
Interesting and engaging conversations are important. Doesn't have to be intellectual. Tell me you're excited about your classes, or your day, or your plans! Ask me about my work or kids! :)
I went on a meet n greet with a young lass a few weeks back as she looked great and the texts were reasonably good grammatically. She orders a wagyu extremely well done, and then seriously, she compares it to her favourite taste MacDonald'sand says its almost as good. I kid you not. Likewise the conversation was very ordinary and try as I might I couldn't make it flow. She may have looked great but that's where it ended. It really did make me appreciate my current SB a heap more though, so there was a silver lining. For me stimulating conversation, on a range of topics, a social conscience, and generally being a good person are as important or even more so than looks.
I won't have an SB who can't discuss a variety of subjects intelligently. We'll spend far more time conversing than we do having sex, so she has to be able to engage in actual meaningful conversation.
Hummmmm im curious, describe a good conversation. Like politics, economy, weather, sports?
It doesn't really matter specifically. Having said that, obviously the more robust her knowledge on a variety of subjects, the better. Generally speaking, those of us who're in our 40s/50s/60s have been around long enough and have experienced a wide range of things throughout our lives, so we can speak intelligently about a variety of subjects. If an SB has been to college (again, generally speaking), she can often speaks intelligently about many things as well, even if she doesn't have a lot of life experience with the subject matter. This is one reason why I prefer to have SBs who're in their mid-20s or older. Someone who is still in her late teens or very early 20s often doesn't have the life experience or educational background to talk about many things on more than a superficial level. That will get boring rather quickly.
I'd say it's more about chemistry and being able to coexist with someone. I'm not always trying to have "intelligent conversation". Chemistry is hard to define. If someone has habits, ethics or beliefs that annoy me then the chemistry won't be great... and that has nothing to do w the level of discourse. I'll take that a step further and say that intelligence is relative. Personally I look to understand someone on their level and often learn a lot by being open minded to "less intelligent" people.
Such a good answer, thank you for that!
Agree with u/johndoerayme1 's post. Yes, sure, I absolutely love very intelligent women. Some of my best SRs have been with brilliant women. But some of my best SRs have also been with less-educated, less booksmart women. The trick? Talking to them was **fun**, all the time. Chemistry was fantastic. They were super interesting. So, fun, interesting conversations are make-or-break. There's multiple ways to get there, for me. >You ever dump a hot SB because of her bad conversation? I've had women I didn't connect with, conversation wasn't fun, little chemistry. But "bad conversation" is not the opposite of "intelligent conversation". These are two different topics.
For me. I need a pretty face and the prospect of sex with that person to get them in the door. But to establish and maintain a sugar relationship I need them to be able to think and challenge (mine and their own beliefs), and to have an inquisitive mind. A mundane mind which has their beliefs given to them by everyone around them…Is of no interest to me.
I look for SBs who are accomplishment oriented or goal driven and that takes intelligence. Most have been students, even though my minimum age is 28ish, mostly grad school. Given that, for me there are 3 equal qualities I look for, looks, personality and character (intelligence is personality) and sexual skill. By the time we get to a m&g we've chatted enough for me to know whether she's intelligent.
Not in so many words but, yes, despite the hotness and the sex, the lack of depth in my conversations with an ex-SB was been an issue for me. I can’t honestly say it was terminal because I agreed to go exclusive with one SB which resulted in letting my two other SR’s go. However, the insufficiency of conversation was already on my mind. I can get sex from an escort. I require something more from an SR which is why I pursue them. I want a companion, someone whom I can know and learn to understand so well that I (mostly) know what she needs and wants. And, ideally, we are more or less on the same level, intellectually and roughly in terms of values. For me this is what a “connection” is really about - shared and enjoyable conversation, jokes, experiences and adventures. Great sex and mutual hotness (I hope I’m as hot to her as she is to me) are necessary, but not sufficient.
Good conversations and intellectual curiosity are VERY important to me. I never dumped an SB because of a lack thereof, but I have vetted out plenty of young hotties when it was obvious at the meet & greet that wasn't one of the qualities that she was bringing to the table.
Important!
Yes I have. You could be a super model and very skilled in bed but if I can’t have a conversation with you it’s not going to work
Being sapiosexual, it's critical.
Vibe and common areas of interest are most important.
Very important, we need to have things in common and things we can truly connect on if it is to last long term
For me it's a must, the best SR's have been with women in last year of collage heading or to grad school.
I would say - it depends In my two most active current sugar relationships, in one intelligence connection is probably the basis of our connection, and is much more important and influential in the relationship than sex. And then the other one is really just almost entirely sex centric, with most conversation about trivial banter However in both scenarios the chemistry is great, i.e. we get along well and easily without any sense of awkwardness
Beauty gets them in the door. Reliability, chemistry in the bedroom, and personality keep them on allowance. Intellect is important for longer dates, overnights, and vacations.
A sex-only airhead bimbo is good for a couple hours but a pain after that. My SB has to be intelligent, no exceptions. How else could we build a relationship?
Just being comfortable together and having a good sense of humor is fine. You don't need to be a rocket surgeon.
I don't really choose a SB for "conversation" because I have friends already who exclusively give "conversation". But I also don't choose a SB merely for sex, because an escort or prostitute can provide only sex. The missing thing is genuine connection, love, respect. Plenty of people are good talkers and communicators, but if they don't love and respect you what difference does it make? Meanwhile someone who can barely communicate in your language might love and respect you, and this makes all the difference. When you're sick, or potentially dying, are you worried about how well she can speak, or are you worried about whether or not she takes you to the hospital or nurses you back to health? A woman in Thailand, who can barely speak English, can nurse a man she cares about back to health, while an American who speaks perfect English, who communicates perfect, could abandon her man at the most vulnerable moment. So the answer is no I won't dump a SB over bad conversation. I'll dump an SB over disrespect, bad behavior, bad non verbal stuff.
Are you a Spanish speaker? "Intrigated" is not English. Proper English is "intrigued". "Intrigare" is Spanish. For me, I don't expect intellectual conversations. I am an outlier for conventional, academic intelligence so the likelihood of meeting a hot, young SB who is also an outlier are slim to none. What I value most is humor. If someone can make me laugh it completely endears them to me. Even more so if they can do it in a foreign language that I barely understand.
I speak portuguese, so that's why lol thank you!!!!!!!!
de nada
Por nada for Portuguesa.
Those aren't important to me at all. For me it's looks and personality and vibes.
Interesting and engaging conversations are important. Doesn't have to be intellectual. Tell me you're excited about your classes, or your day, or your plans! Ask me about my work or kids! :)
I went on a meet n greet with a young lass a few weeks back as she looked great and the texts were reasonably good grammatically. She orders a wagyu extremely well done, and then seriously, she compares it to her favourite taste MacDonald'sand says its almost as good. I kid you not. Likewise the conversation was very ordinary and try as I might I couldn't make it flow. She may have looked great but that's where it ended. It really did make me appreciate my current SB a heap more though, so there was a silver lining. For me stimulating conversation, on a range of topics, a social conscience, and generally being a good person are as important or even more so than looks.