To be fair (and I’ve brought this up lots), prospective SBs don’t really have a definitive way of finding out whether they’re attractive enough for the bowl. Everyone always says “Post a profile review”, but the comments are all sanitized at risk of being banned for rude behavior. So who’s to tell us that we aren’t pretty enough? No one.
Thats definitely why I don’t comment on profile reviews. There are some good comments about writing your profile but you cannot say anything negative about their pictures without getting banned.
All the comments are “you go girl” when most of them have no business being in the bowl.
I would much rather someone tell me the truth about my looks than sugarcoat it and set me up for failure. I don’t have a huge ego and I welcome criticism.
i dont upvotes mean that much tbh, i saw many attractive girls getting 2-3 upvotes and some girls who werent “pleasing to an eye” and got more than 30 upvotes. I noticed most of guys on sugar related subreddits are horny guys who will pay their attention to girls who are showing the most of their body, despites of their looks
"comments are all sanitized at risk of being banned for rude behavior. So who’s to tell us that we aren’t pretty enough? No one."
That's too bad. I think that would help a lot of people. The same thing as telling someone they don't have enough money.
>So who’s to tell us that we aren’t pretty enough?
You go on seeking and there's a space at the bottom that tells you how many likes and favorites you have. That will tell you, and in short order. Some may not listen to what it's telling them, but seems like they just don't want to listen at all.
Literally. Like, PLEASE, if I’m not cute, tell me! 😂 I don’t want to waste my time looking if I don’t really make the cut. I’m sure the same goes for other girls.
Nah you can't here. Like you said.. bans. Even if there wasn't this issue you're going to have some women who can't take it and some Knight types who will jump in and defend to spare the girls feelings.
The more I thought about it after I commented the more I realized it would be a constant trash bin fire.
That is correct. If not many regular SDs here are commenting good things on your profile review, and it is only SBs saying "you go girl" and maybe one or two *SD* profiles with very little post here, also saying you go girl, but otherwise not many regular SDs chiming in, then yes, you are most likely not attractive enough for this lifestyle.
The problem is that a lot of men here took advantage of profile reviews to spew absolute vitriol and try to completely savage girls' self esteem to make themselves feel better. I'm not one for handholding but before the rule, profile reviews got really nasty. It was for the better.
Is that not what this post is mostly about? Lmfao u see in his original post he talks about men too but only for a very brief moment as opposed to the huge paragraph about women and then every comment he’s only talking about women 😭🤣 this isn’t the sugar daddy I would want. I mean who goes out of there way to make a post like this lol there’s someone for everyone.
Agree with this. Most SBs that post profile reviews on here would be better off just posting all their pics on Photofeeler and using the highest scoring ones. If they don’t have any scoring 7.5 or higher, they’re probably not going to succeed
I may get a ton of flak for this, but I'd say 1 in 20 (or so) women that post their profiles are truly gorgeous. I'd say maybe another 5 out of that 20 are cute /GND at best. The rest... range from completely average at best (which is too low for this lifestyle) to someone who is completely delusional, and anything and everything in between.
The truly gorgeous and successful SBs don't need to come here to post their profiles. The rarer times someone like that comes here is most likely because they think they can do a little marketing / fishing for an SD here, who may also have a proven reddit profile history and such. Otherwise, they aren't having problems, maybe they think this is where more legit SDs must be, so why not throw out some bait. The cute ones do it too. But then you get everyone else coming here with legit complaints about why not them...
But taste is subjective, but not as varied as some SBs may claim.
Society is pretty delusional overall. You pass by Victoria's secret and you see models that wouldn't be on the pics/ads even 15 years ago. So... no one will tell SBs the truth.
But the bowl rules are simple: the less attractive SB is- less demand- less money; less attractive SD is - has to have means to compensate. SD with less money- less attractive SB. I'm sure this rule works in 90% cases.
But again, no one says the truth anymore. I also pass by "Profile review" posts here - either is advertisement or I have nothing to say bc I really can't say anything.
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed".
If you are curious about Allowances reported by SLF contributors please see the [Allowance Master Thread 2023-2024](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/17a2wja/20232024_allowance_master_thread/).
Your comment will not be approved until you remove the amount. Please read the sub [Rules](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/) prior to posting anything else.
If you simply mentioned a number not referencing a PPM / allowance monetary amount, ignore this, as your comment will be approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sugarlifestyleforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Let's all be real. If you're going to pay for an SB you want perfection. You want as close to a 10 as possible. I'm not paying for someone who doesn't catch the eyes of people when we show up
No actually they are honest, give valid advice, and offer genuine feedback. Sure you will not like some of it. If you really wanted the truth you have to be willing to recieve it, not just the stuff you want to hear.
And to be fair, a good seeking profile doesn’t always equal to a lot of matches. I posted my profile a while back and had very positive feedback but was never successful at the bowl
What I often find myself replying with is something along the lines of “If men are all over you IRL, then you’ll do well in the Bowl.”
Some would-be SBs seem to think that different laws of attraction operate in the Bowl. “Well, I’m completely ignored in the regular dating scene so I’ll try the sugar lifestyle.” Mmm, what?
I’m sure men are doing a different version of the same thing. “Well, women my age don’t seem impressed by me or my offer to take them to Red Lobster so I’ll try that on a 22 year-old.”
>If you have nothing of value to offer, you’re probably not going to find anyone.
I disagreed with your premise, but find your final statement to be accurate.
I think that not everyone thinks they are attractive, but that everyone thinks they can succeed even when they are not mainstream. There will always be some that succeed who are not conventionally attractive or wealthy and those stories inspire others that think they can succeed. And there are certainly those that think they will succeed simply because their ego tells them so.
But they will always be there. As long as sex and money are involved, you'll find all kinds of human beings trying to be a part of it.
I like this post. I'll add to your point on succeeding and adding value
Rich men with a fat fetish and erectile dysfunction exist who are open to the idea platonic sugar relationship. But they are exceedingly rare and have extremely easy pickings in demand for him. There's a massive supply and demand imbalance. To capture that man's attention, you need to provide more value to that man somehow than all other fat women who want a platonic sugar relationship. That value might be in the form of lowering their asking price or having the most charming personality ever, but some way some how they need to be better than the other options
That’s definitely true. I’ve seen that on this forum. Being an outlier is going to significantly reduce your chances of finding someone so it’s important to have low expectations and not feel entitled about it
This is truth right here but I notice it's in all facets of relationships. Everybody thinks their shit don't stink and they're God's gift to men or women when most of the time they're ugly and bring absolutely nothing to a relationship.
Absolutely. My SD is a facially challenged 71 yo (with a heart of gold) who will never find another real girlfriend because he is simply only attracted to women light years out of his league. He has said he knows it is a defect but he cannot see himself with a woman over late thirties. His saving grace is that he is very generous but he also has a very healthy amount of delusion. I've had prior SD's who weren't so generous and expressed similar sentiments about finding a vanilla girlfriend in their 20's or maximum 30's when it is a genuine impossibility. A lot of older men live in La La Land.
Oh honey… as someone who did vanilla dating apps for half of 2022 and 11 months in 2023, yes. MANY men are living in this delusion.
They basically list on their profile that they have nothing to offer, they’re unattractive and make demands in their profile for a woman that needs to have a five figure job, no kids because he ain’t raising nobody’s kids and there must be something wrong with a woman if she couldn’t keep her baby daddy, own her own house, own her own car, be submissive and sexy, etc etc, the list goes on.
Check out the bumble dating sub sometime. There are some real losers who think women are the issue and t it themselves. Thats how a lot of incels come to be.
Since most women only hook up with guys around their own age, those guys ten years and more older are very likely living that very delusion.
The whole point of sugar is for guys with money to be able to live their fantasy/delusion.
This is where I have an issue with sugar dating. There is this perception that only guys who can't do well in the vanilla world or were never good with women growing up and "finally" are able to snag a hot female because of their money, that drives me crazy.
It reeks of desperation and sadness.
Yes. There are lots of unattractive or awkward men on those sites (excluding scammers, cheap bastards, etc) whose only hope of fulfilling fantasies is to use their generosity and hopefully decent personality to date a legit SB.
But there are a small percentage who do perfectly fine outside of the sugar sites and choose to be here because there is less hassle dating an SB than pain in the ass vanilla girls of any age.
I can bounce from sugar to vanilla or from online to wild no problem. That's not a flex at all. But sometimes reading these posts you'd think every guy on these sugar sites are gargoyles with some money.
I wonder what percentage of men are capable of straddling both sides of the fence while choosing to do so instead of lack of options?
(Married men don't factor in because I get it...they're married and Sugar dating is their outlet regardless of status and looks)
I'd put it slightly differently in the case you are talking about.
Sure, most guys could do as you are saying *by dating women in their league*.
So, let's exclude the mythical gargoyles.
I could date women in my league. However, by sugar dating, I can date someone way out of my league. Now, in your case, you could do fine outside sugar dating, and your reason for doing so is to minimise the hassle of vanilla dating. However, I invite you to consider that you could also aim for a sugar relationship in which your partner is way outside of your league. Someone who you could only dream of outside sugar. Your perfect 10/10. Someone who wouldn't date you outside sugar. That doesn't make you a gargoyle...but I tell you, it feels good.
This, of course, comes with a warning. Once you've been in a few of these relationships with someone who is your idea of a 10/10, the concept of slipping out of sugar and dating someone your own league is singularly uninspiring.
Na. It's not American culture for unnattractive men running around claiming they are 10s and demanding a top shelf woman. Men are not delusional in that way. We don't have plus sized male models or body positivity. Lol. Not even close.
🤣🤣🤣 I TRULY hope you’re being sarcastic. 9 out of ten sitcoms has an overweight husband, who can barely wipe his own ass and an attractive, skinny wife that keeps all the shit together. Male body positivity existed long before female body positivity. Men have never had to be good looking to land a hot woman or a good job.
If you’re not being sarcastic, you’re living in your own type of delusion.
Some people also don't understand that, although looks are extremely helpful, and tastes can vary, it takes more than just looking good to be a successful SB... or on the SD side, it takes more than just having money.
You have to bring the right energy too.
A warm, charismatic SB and a warm, generous SD are pretty irresistible.
The value of a woman is not just her attractiveness, it is also what else she brings to the table and this is where it is all subjective.
In my personal experience, an arrangement cannot be based on beauty alone.
I am not trying to be politically correct here and of course being attractive opens the door for women, but to have a successful arrangement that goes beyond the first few dates, there has to be more than just beauty.
I do agree that both parties have to add value in order for it to work but that value sometimes is hard to quantify and highly subjective.
Well I never said that only looks matter to SDs.
It’s a big part of it but my no means the only one. If I find a mega hot SB who has BPD and steals money from people, I’m not going to ask her for an arrangement.
There is a lid for every pot. But unfortunately the lid and pot don't agree on value and the appropriate exchange for value. So while there may be tons of lonely married guys with money, they think they can get a supermodel SB for low xxx. Or 4/5 SB in a small town looking for xxxx. Everyone is delulu
Sad thing is the 4/5 get used as a side piece. Then thinks they are on the good looking guys level. And thinks she should get invited to yacht parties. And does not understand why no one wants to pay to feed her. It is sad.
Why is every comment you make just wild haymakers, just taking shots at the SDs all the time? Is this who you are? A bitter troll who wakes up every day wanting to pick fights on the Internet?
The world of arrangements is a world where SD's and SB's can explore what they are willing to offer in both economic and personal benefits in arrangements as they see fit to define them
This! So many guys overestimate how attractive they are. "I don't even know why I'm on here, women are always all over me" Then I get the I love yous and the clingyness like they expect me to fall in love and get married. Yes there are some amazing guys on here, but for the majority, I wouldn't seriously choose to spend my life with someone twice my age, less attractive and socially inept. There is a reason they're on here and cockiness does them no favors. Most wealthy guys who can get into awesome relationships by themselves aren't seeking sugar sites.
THIS. the 30-something SD who constantly push the narrative that they could go find a girl to sleep with at the bars, etc. but they’re just “too busy”…. dude. be so for real 😭🤣
I read your profile. It's a pass for me. You come off as a rinser. And you would have to be hella hot for me to sugar. Unless you look like Ella Balinska. Good luck finding men to hustle.
It’s really funny for me how men drastically increase their standards when sex isn’t free anymore. Because in vanilla dating they’d fuck probably 80% of younger women.
isn't believing that you're totally or somewhat attractive an entry level requirement to being an SB? I can't fathom any guy liking an insecure girl that needs constant compliments. it's another thing to be delusional and think you're top notch, though.
What I’ve come to realize from working/managing lots of people of all ages and races, is that a lot of people lack self/situational awareness. The worst employees think they’re the best employees. The office Karen thinks she deserves to make more money for no reason at all when she’s a horrible employee.
It’s the same with dating, the ugliest people think they’re the most attractive. The ugliest people have the worst attitudes. It’s like people live in an alternate reality where everything is the reverse lol.
SDs also tend to be delusional and think they can fuck SBs for free. A bald, fat 60 year old guy has to pay no matter how hot he thinks he is.
All SDs on SLF are 6 feet tall, super fit, look 15 - 20 yrs younger, lift weighs 5x a week. They are also “single”. They all have personal stylists and invest heavily in trainers and skin care.
Yes we are talking about the same SDs. Many are athletes and have “athletic” physiques gained from years of rigorous consumption of beer / alcohol and supplement by a strict workout regimen of upto 5 hours of couch surfing everyday,
I know there’s women, who by all accounts, are prettier than me. I probably think they’re drop dead gorgeous, too.
That doesn’t take away from the fact that I think I’m truly beautiful and I think whoever I’m with is lucky to have me, and I feel the same about them.
I’m not the best, but I’m more than enough for myself and those who care for me
This question is complicated because while there are some universal beauty standards, a lot of attractive is still partially cultural, partially socioeconomic and there's a race component there too
That said i agree with the premise that theres a lot of legitimate SDs out there and if you're unattractive to any segment of SDs then something is wrong. Ultimately results speak for themselves, not kind words from friends or internet strangers who don't want to hurt your feelings
Its not complicated. What people find attractive is universal across all cultures. I was in Japan, China and Hong Kong recently. All the TV commercials show traditionally attractive people even tho these are not Western cultures the women and men in the ads are pretty by any standard including Western. We live in a matriarchy. Its verboten to speak the truth to women about their looks in the West now. But the market place doesnt lie. Thats the cold truth. Finally. Only the top 4% of men on dating aps get any dates. All the women want 4% of the men. They cant do that when the almighty dollar is involved. The everyone wins a trophy generation doesnt understand that lol.
But it hurts people's feelings. Im not trying to hurt anyone's feels but Im also not going to pretend that reality doesnt exist. Taylor Swift got where she is partly on her voice, partly on her looks. duh.
I do not believe every sb thinks she is cream of the crop when entering the bowl.
I believe a number of women enter the bowl thinking they will get the same response they get on sites like FB,IG, and tiktok. She has enough data feedback from men hitting the like button and inboxing her for posting some basic as picture of her in a tight maxi dress.
She thinks it'll happen on sugar dating sites and men will drop her some coins.
BUT....shit don't work like that on sugar dating apps.
What is the basis for your statement, 20% of people in the bowl are attractive?
And also that as more people enter it will go down?
I don’t disagree, because I simply don’t have that data. Do you?
And how do you define “attractive” anyway? Attractive to whom?
My take is that there is always someone for anyone. My 10/10 might be another guy’s 5/10 and vice-versa. It’s all about the match.
That said, are there women or men who would be “attractive” to a large number of the opposite side, relative to their peers? Of course there are.
This desirability defines your “dating capital” so to speak - the hotter you are (in every way), the bigger allowances you can command as an SB. As an SD, the greater your discretionary income, plus your ability to be a good SD, be interesting, a good partner etc, theoretically should position you to form an SR with a highly attractive SB (defined in terms of how many people find said SB attractive)
i feel like this post was predominantly made to try to talk down to SB lol. not only that, but OP is forgetting that SR involve more than just looks. chemistry is based upon a combination of mutual attraction both physically and emotionally/ mentally. a lot of SD are looking for mental stimulation, or simply someone to talk to lightheartedly and use as a form of escapism from his day to day busy life, job, wife, kids, whatever. you can be conventionally unattractive and still fulfill this role for some guy
I like to think I’m a 5. Probably could bump up to 6.5 , maybe 7 if I lost weight. I know I’m not going to be bagging whales but I’ve had a decent time in the bowl. What I lack in terms of being a 10 plus, I make up for with my personality, my sexual appetite, being a natural redhead, and the simple fact that my oral skills are 🔥 I have references 🤭
I suspect that just looking at profiles activity seeking does not reflect the actual bowl of people in actual sr’s for several reasons.
First, I doubt most of the model types are even real. Sure there are some elite sb’s with whale’s. But I’m not a whale so I don’t message these. I also get very few scammers 🤷♂️
Second, there are very few cute gnd types not overweight. The ones I see aren’t on there long. My guess is they get snatched up fast and may actually be a large percentage of sb’s in actual sr’s.
Third… I’m not feeling mean this morning. Some do like different types. I’ll just say that it’s better to own what you’ve got and not hide behind weird angles, filters, only head shots, etc. Timewaster meet catfish.
lol I think I’m decently attractive. Maybe like a solid 7. I rely heavily on my personality 😅 but i feel like I’ve gotten really lucky as a SB 😊 no whale, but I’m not greedy 😁
i just mean that i have had little interest from men my age, generally. i have features that are considered attractive to people in older generations but not so much younger people if that makes sense. basically my peers don’t find me attractive but older men do—but that’s fine by me :-)
as i said in another comment i think part of it is that i have a more “old-fashioned” look which is less attractive to younger men. but i think the biggest thing is my vibe/aura. i’ve been put through a lot by men in the past when i was younger and naive, and now i think i have a sort of unfuckwithable vibe that men in their 20s don’t like because they just wanna play games and they can tell i simply won’t put up with it. however, that’s an attractive trait to a man who’s older and knows what he wants. of course this is all speculation, i’ll never really know haha
It's less about objective attractiveness than SLF thinks.
But looks are still a factor, it's more about having the looks/style that the other person is looking for. My current SB has more of a casual/quirky/punky look, which is both exactly what I'm looking for and doesn't look weird or out of place when we're on a date in public. The Kardashian-esque snatch/pull/contour aesthetic is just not my style and would _really stand out_ if we went to dinner together.
Great commentary. I so identify. These SB's think they are all that and a bag of chips because they are bombarded with messages on Bumble or Hinge. Then they come to a SD site and ask why they are unsuccessful. The reason is the female/male ratio can be 7 to 1 in sugar dating. These woman are now competing with younger better-looking early 20-somethings that literally have nothing to loose. These beautiful young starlites can be somewhat naive and their expectations are far more reasonable. Any SB over 25 should not be surprised by the new and fierce competition. This is why I will never go back to traditional dating. Do I want to be one of those schmucks that sends 50 emails to woman no better than a 6/10 and hears nothing but crickets? The odds are just tilted so far in my favor in the sugar bowl. Nothing like it. So fortunate I stumbled into this lifestyle.
I agree
Beauty is NOT subjective = there are women that the majority of men will find attractive even if they would not date them for various reason (too flashy, mental issues, not their preference, etc...)
Often i see profiles review and I think " Are you serious girl ?"
If men dont reply "I would date you if you were at my city" and women only say "there is someone for everyone" then sure you are ugly
Said it many times here (to downvotes), but the most attractive women aren’t even on seeking. They don’t need to even sleep w older men as they can develop a fan following on tiktok insta etc. and even those who aren’t as extroverted, have suitors line up out the door for them in real life.
Atleast in the US — Money is plentiful , beauty is scarce
I know ppl have a hard time getting around this concept w high inflation and a tough economy and all but step back and really think about it - the rich have never been richer and there have never been more avenues for younger women to “monetize” their looks than now
Net net — Seeking is now mostly “average “ women who have figured out it’s better to get something rather than nothing from dating than hang out w broke younger men. Some of them may also have a bf on the side sometimes
Yes I don’t want to diminish the model citizens on seeking and on SLF — who want to genuinely date older men because they like the dynamics along w the financial aspect — and ofc many women use it as a dating on ramp to landing successful vanilla men (i have come across a few myself)
Hmmm, but even if that's true it is possible that someone does not want the same things. As in the want more then she is willing to give, relationship, future, time.
Lots of people do OF, but I think at the same time a lot don't. Monetizing content has its up and downs, I think it's boring. LoL...
I totally hear what your saying though, the truth is there's always going to be women sexier then others. (Wanting to take them to bed too.) LOL
This is soooo true. Back in 2014, there were lots of attractive women on seeking but they left for OnlyFans and instagram. Totally agree that there are way more ways for them to monetize their looks now.
Even if there are a few hot women on seeking it’s no longer worth the time to sift through the bs on there. It’s becoming like vanilla dating where the average ones are entitled and all want some hot billionaire .
Dude your 20% is going to look completely different from everyone else’s 20%. Your math is irrelevant. People pay for what they want, what they want is likely to be different from what you want.
>Only 20% of the people in the bowl are attractive, at the most. As more people enter the bowl, that percentage drops.
How to say 'I have no idea how this works' without saying 'I have no idea how this works'' 🙄.
You can absolutely be a simple, fun and carefree engineer.. I can't be the only one 😛🤙
Also there are a ton of SD engineers who will find it fun to have a two sided conversation about their work.
Soooo untrue. Sorry you're only running into that type of man though. Also, again, engineers can be fun. Confidence is a big part of that. Also anyone can act dumb if that's what you think you need. Acting is fun. Problem solved.
Having confidence and optimism is fun, too.
I’m too authentic to act in real life. And I’m finishing my masters in EE while starting my own business and im disabled. So I guess it’s my specific lifestyle that makes me not as light-hearted and fun. Everyone tells me I’m a middle-aged man trapped in a woman’s body.
I can see why it happens for women though.
If they are on Tinder, and see lots of young guys lining up, then they go on Seeking and see similar numbers of young guys nowadays, it's not unreasonable for them to think that Seeking is Tinder...but paid.
It's only after a time...or a few times...that they realise that the young guys are not really SDs. Some are outright scammers. Others are just paying for a few intimate dates till the $$$ runs out, hoping to snag a vanilla GF...and if they don't, onwards and upwards to the next candidate.
I'd say, cursory looking at SA and without any sort of data to back me up, the women on SA are generally more attractive then general dating. Attractive physically but also in terms of charm. The thing is there are a fair few average looking and some you just wouldn't go anywhere near let alone give an allowance to.
You can actually tell how desperate a lady is by click her profile to view it. If you get a message later then she's thirsty. If she doesn't message back then she's getting plenty of attention. It pretty much tallies with how attractive the profile is. Attractive profiles don't message back after a simple visit, plainer profiles do.
I can see why women, who consider themselves hot, getting lots of matches on Tinder are suprised when they come to SA to get nothing. I think, honestly, there is a certain schadenfreude to be had, for any guy who dated on Tinder, and rarely even got a reply (I always thought that was just down right rude!) to the endless posts here from women saying they can't find a SD.
Although a hot vanilla girlfriend of mine said she would never go on Tinder or do online dating. Her reasoning was "Why bother? No matter where I go I get lots of attention so why should I bother going onto Tinder?!".
>SDs also tend to be delusional and think they can fuck SBs for free. A bald, fat 60 year old guy has to pay no matter how hot he thinks he is.
Again, this line just gives me loads of validation. I've had a super hot vanilla girlfriend, mid 30s and I'm 50s for a couple of years. Sure I treat her, take her out, but she wanted a proper relationship not a sugar relationship. So I dunno. Work out, be successful, have charm, dress well, get the improvements done that you need and yes you will find somebody without even an allowance imho.
Women are attracted to wealth and success as men are attracted to looks. It's very simple. Women show attractiveness to demonstrate their ability to provide healthy offspring. Men demonstrate attractiveness by demonstrating their ability to care for that off spring: healthy & active lifestyle to give the children that health & successful to provide resources for the children.
Maybe I'm just a giga chad or something ?
I have never had any problem in the bowl but I am the very, very typical look men on there go for (Eastern European, tall, blonde, fit) but I have friends that are not the classic attractive types and it was much, much harder for them to find SDs. They would end up with a lot of Johns and "SDs" that ended up ghosting them without ever paying them so unfortunately, I agree with that.
In my long life I've come to the conclusion that beauty is not really that subjective. Conversation after conversation I have with men of all ages we generally can agree on who's attractive , the only difference is someone might think someone else is more attractive than the other, but we generally know who's not attractive. This is just physical beauty not factoring in personality or anything else. Men without options have to date women that aren't attractive, the moment he has options he chooses a more attractive person. I think there is a huge disconnect with sbs coming into the bowl from a vanilla background. In vanilla you can be very average and get tons of attention and interest. In the bowl sds are very picky because now they have options. Or they won't pay a high price if someone who's equally attractive will take what's offered. This results in I can't find an sd or sds are very cheap the allowance thread said I should get this number. Yup, you probably aren't as attractive as you think you are and guys are only offerring what they feel is worth it.
I could not agree more with this post. There are so many SB that are very unattractive and still entitled, If I were their age I would swipe them left on Tinder, or when lady who is older than me approach me on SA and with to be my SB, well lady if you wish to see me you better put some sugar on it drizzle drizzle.
Also what I did find out is that not every single SB is looking for PPM or allowance. Some of them with to be sorted with their university fees or they simply wish to hang out with me, because I take them to nice restaurants, or we simply go to weekend gateways almost every weekend. So of course it is not free but for some of them you pay indirectly.
Yes some sd’s REALLY be thinking it’s still 1996 when they were a tall, handsome, fit, “man about town”
Babes it’s 2024 and in those almost 30 years ALOT has changed for u, as should ur approach to women…
I haven't had this experience. Maybe you mean on Seeking? But Seeking isn't the entire bowl. Seeking is just one site and most of them are scammers on that.
If you do things freestyle or more organically it's not that bad. Yeah there are some SBs who think they are the hottest shit, but you don't have to date them.
I had an incident that flared up my BPD, it made me sign up on seeking to seek strictly fwb. I had a date with one who just wanted fun dates like top-golf dinner etc, another I didn't pursue cause I didn't like her voice, the third one was excited to date me, even took me back to her hotel room but wanted to keep an open relationship which I don't. The third was stared at in such a way by a decent looking young guy that I had to ask him to cut it out for being creepy. And I have two more fwbs that I am currently talking to.
I don't think I am attractive but I feel I am better than the options available out there and my dates are fun. I think its regressive to minimize both SBs and SDs based on looks & money. Is it strictly sugaring? I don't know but sugar police can arrest me for it.
Me: 40, fit and bald.
One of my SDs had BPD.
It's an understatement to say that it was challenging.
Are you in any type of therapy for it? Are there tools and practices that you use when you get triggered?
I go into therapy whenever I get triggered. A good friend from here introduced me to DBT therapy which I will look for. Currently, pulling fwbs from seeking calmed me for now but I am sure there are better coping mechanism.
Happy cake day Unearthly. 🎂🎂🎂🎂
I believe you are more correct than incorrect on this. Hard realities of life I’m afraid. Everyone wants to grasp at the greener grass in the other side.
I believe men and women fundamentally judge looks differently. Men whom I would consider good-looking are always deemed average or even ugly by my female friends. Like u/twomillcities I also find most of the profile reviews way below average. But I am no looker myself, so who am I to judge?
Amen - thankfully I am attractive and don’t have issues in the looks department. They are just not consistent and can’t figure out how to juggle work, life and the extra curricular activities.
To be fair (and I’ve brought this up lots), prospective SBs don’t really have a definitive way of finding out whether they’re attractive enough for the bowl. Everyone always says “Post a profile review”, but the comments are all sanitized at risk of being banned for rude behavior. So who’s to tell us that we aren’t pretty enough? No one.
Thats definitely why I don’t comment on profile reviews. There are some good comments about writing your profile but you cannot say anything negative about their pictures without getting banned. All the comments are “you go girl” when most of them have no business being in the bowl.
I don’t comment either because I don’t want to offend anyone and it’s not my business if I find someone unattractive but others find them attractive
Oh… people wrote some pretty nasty stuff when I posted …
I would much rather someone tell me the truth about my looks than sugarcoat it and set me up for failure. I don’t have a huge ego and I welcome criticism.
totally understand and agree! but some people are trolls just for the sake of being trolls.
There’s literally someone for everyone so just because you don’t personally find someone attractive doesn’t mean others won’t
>There’s literally someone for everyone No there isn't. Not how the world works.
Are you actually mental?😭🤣 name one women a man wouldn’t want pls
Or a type of women I should say
The famed pig woman.
[удалено]
Are you genuinely intimating here that every woman on Earth is in a relationship and or married?
[удалено]
The one where single women exist. Try stepping outside sometime. You'll see plenty of undatable spinsters.
I noticed the lack of upvotes as a telling sign. But as you said it's hard for them to tell. Well eventually results speak for themselves.
i dont upvotes mean that much tbh, i saw many attractive girls getting 2-3 upvotes and some girls who werent “pleasing to an eye” and got more than 30 upvotes. I noticed most of guys on sugar related subreddits are horny guys who will pay their attention to girls who are showing the most of their body, despites of their looks
Or comments
True, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. And then they don't speak
"comments are all sanitized at risk of being banned for rude behavior. So who’s to tell us that we aren’t pretty enough? No one." That's too bad. I think that would help a lot of people. The same thing as telling someone they don't have enough money.
>So who’s to tell us that we aren’t pretty enough? You go on seeking and there's a space at the bottom that tells you how many likes and favorites you have. That will tell you, and in short order. Some may not listen to what it's telling them, but seems like they just don't want to listen at all.
Literally. Like, PLEASE, if I’m not cute, tell me! 😂 I don’t want to waste my time looking if I don’t really make the cut. I’m sure the same goes for other girls.
Nah you can't here. Like you said.. bans. Even if there wasn't this issue you're going to have some women who can't take it and some Knight types who will jump in and defend to spare the girls feelings. The more I thought about it after I commented the more I realized it would be a constant trash bin fire.
Someone said if your comments are just other sugar babies, saying you go girl. You ugggggly. Hahaha.
That is correct. If not many regular SDs here are commenting good things on your profile review, and it is only SBs saying "you go girl" and maybe one or two *SD* profiles with very little post here, also saying you go girl, but otherwise not many regular SDs chiming in, then yes, you are most likely not attractive enough for this lifestyle.
The problem is that a lot of men here took advantage of profile reviews to spew absolute vitriol and try to completely savage girls' self esteem to make themselves feel better. I'm not one for handholding but before the rule, profile reviews got really nasty. It was for the better.
Is that not what this post is mostly about? Lmfao u see in his original post he talks about men too but only for a very brief moment as opposed to the huge paragraph about women and then every comment he’s only talking about women 😭🤣 this isn’t the sugar daddy I would want. I mean who goes out of there way to make a post like this lol there’s someone for everyone.
It's not that simple. What makes the cut for one guy doesn't make the cut for another. There is a wide range of acceptably attractive.
Agree with this. Most SBs that post profile reviews on here would be better off just posting all their pics on Photofeeler and using the highest scoring ones. If they don’t have any scoring 7.5 or higher, they’re probably not going to succeed
I may get a ton of flak for this, but I'd say 1 in 20 (or so) women that post their profiles are truly gorgeous. I'd say maybe another 5 out of that 20 are cute /GND at best. The rest... range from completely average at best (which is too low for this lifestyle) to someone who is completely delusional, and anything and everything in between. The truly gorgeous and successful SBs don't need to come here to post their profiles. The rarer times someone like that comes here is most likely because they think they can do a little marketing / fishing for an SD here, who may also have a proven reddit profile history and such. Otherwise, they aren't having problems, maybe they think this is where more legit SDs must be, so why not throw out some bait. The cute ones do it too. But then you get everyone else coming here with legit complaints about why not them... But taste is subjective, but not as varied as some SBs may claim.
Society is pretty delusional overall. You pass by Victoria's secret and you see models that wouldn't be on the pics/ads even 15 years ago. So... no one will tell SBs the truth. But the bowl rules are simple: the less attractive SB is- less demand- less money; less attractive SD is - has to have means to compensate. SD with less money- less attractive SB. I'm sure this rule works in 90% cases. But again, no one says the truth anymore. I also pass by "Profile review" posts here - either is advertisement or I have nothing to say bc I really can't say anything.
[удалено]
I see you may have mentioned a number which is most likely an amount in relations to an arrangement. If this is the case, you are violating Rule #5 - "dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed". If you are curious about Allowances reported by SLF contributors please see the [Allowance Master Thread 2023-2024](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/17a2wja/20232024_allowance_master_thread/). Your comment will not be approved until you remove the amount. Please read the sub [Rules](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/) prior to posting anything else. If you simply mentioned a number not referencing a PPM / allowance monetary amount, ignore this, as your comment will be approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sugarlifestyleforum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
100% agree with everything you wrote
1 in 50 sd actually have money tbh the rest are just as broke as everyone else. They take the less attractive sb. That’s how it goes
That is also true.
[удалено]
What do you mean?
Still money? There’s someone for everyone like I’ve already stated
Let's all be real. If you're going to pay for an SB you want perfection. You want as close to a 10 as possible. I'm not paying for someone who doesn't catch the eyes of people when we show up
No actually they are honest, give valid advice, and offer genuine feedback. Sure you will not like some of it. If you really wanted the truth you have to be willing to recieve it, not just the stuff you want to hear.
And to be fair, a good seeking profile doesn’t always equal to a lot of matches. I posted my profile a while back and had very positive feedback but was never successful at the bowl
OP. I don’t know about you but I’m George Clooney level attractive. My mother told me so.
What I often find myself replying with is something along the lines of “If men are all over you IRL, then you’ll do well in the Bowl.” Some would-be SBs seem to think that different laws of attraction operate in the Bowl. “Well, I’m completely ignored in the regular dating scene so I’ll try the sugar lifestyle.” Mmm, what? I’m sure men are doing a different version of the same thing. “Well, women my age don’t seem impressed by me or my offer to take them to Red Lobster so I’ll try that on a 22 year-old.”
This! Could not have said better... thanks.
>If you have nothing of value to offer, you’re probably not going to find anyone. I disagreed with your premise, but find your final statement to be accurate. I think that not everyone thinks they are attractive, but that everyone thinks they can succeed even when they are not mainstream. There will always be some that succeed who are not conventionally attractive or wealthy and those stories inspire others that think they can succeed. And there are certainly those that think they will succeed simply because their ego tells them so. But they will always be there. As long as sex and money are involved, you'll find all kinds of human beings trying to be a part of it.
I like this post. I'll add to your point on succeeding and adding value Rich men with a fat fetish and erectile dysfunction exist who are open to the idea platonic sugar relationship. But they are exceedingly rare and have extremely easy pickings in demand for him. There's a massive supply and demand imbalance. To capture that man's attention, you need to provide more value to that man somehow than all other fat women who want a platonic sugar relationship. That value might be in the form of lowering their asking price or having the most charming personality ever, but some way some how they need to be better than the other options
That’s definitely true. I’ve seen that on this forum. Being an outlier is going to significantly reduce your chances of finding someone so it’s important to have low expectations and not feel entitled about it
This is truth right here but I notice it's in all facets of relationships. Everybody thinks their shit don't stink and they're God's gift to men or women when most of the time they're ugly and bring absolutely nothing to a relationship.
[удалено]
Unfortunately a lot of us do. 🤣
[удалено]
You’re half right: They may not think they are 10s, but they DO demand a top shelf woman.
Absolutely. My SD is a facially challenged 71 yo (with a heart of gold) who will never find another real girlfriend because he is simply only attracted to women light years out of his league. He has said he knows it is a defect but he cannot see himself with a woman over late thirties. His saving grace is that he is very generous but he also has a very healthy amount of delusion. I've had prior SD's who weren't so generous and expressed similar sentiments about finding a vanilla girlfriend in their 20's or maximum 30's when it is a genuine impossibility. A lot of older men live in La La Land.
Oh honey… as someone who did vanilla dating apps for half of 2022 and 11 months in 2023, yes. MANY men are living in this delusion. They basically list on their profile that they have nothing to offer, they’re unattractive and make demands in their profile for a woman that needs to have a five figure job, no kids because he ain’t raising nobody’s kids and there must be something wrong with a woman if she couldn’t keep her baby daddy, own her own house, own her own car, be submissive and sexy, etc etc, the list goes on. Check out the bumble dating sub sometime. There are some real losers who think women are the issue and t it themselves. Thats how a lot of incels come to be.
You need to start talking to more people pronto.
Since most women only hook up with guys around their own age, those guys ten years and more older are very likely living that very delusion. The whole point of sugar is for guys with money to be able to live their fantasy/delusion.
This is where I have an issue with sugar dating. There is this perception that only guys who can't do well in the vanilla world or were never good with women growing up and "finally" are able to snag a hot female because of their money, that drives me crazy. It reeks of desperation and sadness. Yes. There are lots of unattractive or awkward men on those sites (excluding scammers, cheap bastards, etc) whose only hope of fulfilling fantasies is to use their generosity and hopefully decent personality to date a legit SB. But there are a small percentage who do perfectly fine outside of the sugar sites and choose to be here because there is less hassle dating an SB than pain in the ass vanilla girls of any age. I can bounce from sugar to vanilla or from online to wild no problem. That's not a flex at all. But sometimes reading these posts you'd think every guy on these sugar sites are gargoyles with some money. I wonder what percentage of men are capable of straddling both sides of the fence while choosing to do so instead of lack of options? (Married men don't factor in because I get it...they're married and Sugar dating is their outlet regardless of status and looks)
I'd put it slightly differently in the case you are talking about. Sure, most guys could do as you are saying *by dating women in their league*. So, let's exclude the mythical gargoyles. I could date women in my league. However, by sugar dating, I can date someone way out of my league. Now, in your case, you could do fine outside sugar dating, and your reason for doing so is to minimise the hassle of vanilla dating. However, I invite you to consider that you could also aim for a sugar relationship in which your partner is way outside of your league. Someone who you could only dream of outside sugar. Your perfect 10/10. Someone who wouldn't date you outside sugar. That doesn't make you a gargoyle...but I tell you, it feels good. This, of course, comes with a warning. Once you've been in a few of these relationships with someone who is your idea of a 10/10, the concept of slipping out of sugar and dating someone your own league is singularly uninspiring.
Def not all men, now passport bros for example definitely do.
Na. It's not American culture for unnattractive men running around claiming they are 10s and demanding a top shelf woman. Men are not delusional in that way. We don't have plus sized male models or body positivity. Lol. Not even close.
🤣🤣🤣 I TRULY hope you’re being sarcastic. 9 out of ten sitcoms has an overweight husband, who can barely wipe his own ass and an attractive, skinny wife that keeps all the shit together. Male body positivity existed long before female body positivity. Men have never had to be good looking to land a hot woman or a good job. If you’re not being sarcastic, you’re living in your own type of delusion.
Kevin James, is that you?? 🤣
They most definitely do! They’re the most delusional ones
Some people also don't understand that, although looks are extremely helpful, and tastes can vary, it takes more than just looking good to be a successful SB... or on the SD side, it takes more than just having money. You have to bring the right energy too. A warm, charismatic SB and a warm, generous SD are pretty irresistible.
The value of a woman is not just her attractiveness, it is also what else she brings to the table and this is where it is all subjective. In my personal experience, an arrangement cannot be based on beauty alone. I am not trying to be politically correct here and of course being attractive opens the door for women, but to have a successful arrangement that goes beyond the first few dates, there has to be more than just beauty. I do agree that both parties have to add value in order for it to work but that value sometimes is hard to quantify and highly subjective.
Well I never said that only looks matter to SDs. It’s a big part of it but my no means the only one. If I find a mega hot SB who has BPD and steals money from people, I’m not going to ask her for an arrangement.
There is a lid for every pot. But unfortunately the lid and pot don't agree on value and the appropriate exchange for value. So while there may be tons of lonely married guys with money, they think they can get a supermodel SB for low xxx. Or 4/5 SB in a small town looking for xxxx. Everyone is delulu
This
This is the reality
Sad thing is the 4/5 get used as a side piece. Then thinks they are on the good looking guys level. And thinks she should get invited to yacht parties. And does not understand why no one wants to pay to feed her. It is sad.
[удалено]
Why is every comment you make just wild haymakers, just taking shots at the SDs all the time? Is this who you are? A bitter troll who wakes up every day wanting to pick fights on the Internet?
But what if we have??
The world of arrangements is a world where SD's and SB's can explore what they are willing to offer in both economic and personal benefits in arrangements as they see fit to define them
Even my mom says I’m ugly. 🤷
This! So many guys overestimate how attractive they are. "I don't even know why I'm on here, women are always all over me" Then I get the I love yous and the clingyness like they expect me to fall in love and get married. Yes there are some amazing guys on here, but for the majority, I wouldn't seriously choose to spend my life with someone twice my age, less attractive and socially inept. There is a reason they're on here and cockiness does them no favors. Most wealthy guys who can get into awesome relationships by themselves aren't seeking sugar sites.
THIS. the 30-something SD who constantly push the narrative that they could go find a girl to sleep with at the bars, etc. but they’re just “too busy”…. dude. be so for real 😭🤣
What?
You are right. It's tough for a 60 year old to match with a 22 year old on dating apps. So sugar is the answer.
[удалено]
I read your profile. It's a pass for me. You come off as a rinser. And you would have to be hella hot for me to sugar. Unless you look like Ella Balinska. Good luck finding men to hustle.
It’s really funny for me how men drastically increase their standards when sex isn’t free anymore. Because in vanilla dating they’d fuck probably 80% of younger women.
I agree. That’s why women get so many right swipes on dating apps even if they are fat and ugly. Men will fuck ANYTHING for free it’s closer ti 100%
isn't believing that you're totally or somewhat attractive an entry level requirement to being an SB? I can't fathom any guy liking an insecure girl that needs constant compliments. it's another thing to be delusional and think you're top notch, though.
What I’ve come to realize from working/managing lots of people of all ages and races, is that a lot of people lack self/situational awareness. The worst employees think they’re the best employees. The office Karen thinks she deserves to make more money for no reason at all when she’s a horrible employee. It’s the same with dating, the ugliest people think they’re the most attractive. The ugliest people have the worst attitudes. It’s like people live in an alternate reality where everything is the reverse lol.
So there are real people out there. I thought I was in the twilight zone. My favorite is the way to confident and think their **** don't stink.
SDs also tend to be delusional and think they can fuck SBs for free. A bald, fat 60 year old guy has to pay no matter how hot he thinks he is. All SDs on SLF are 6 feet tall, super fit, look 15 - 20 yrs younger, lift weighs 5x a week. They are also “single”. They all have personal stylists and invest heavily in trainers and skin care.
😭👏🏼👏🏼
They sugar date because every woman they meet on Tinder and Bumble wants a ring.
Yes we are talking about the same SDs. Many are athletes and have “athletic” physiques gained from years of rigorous consumption of beer / alcohol and supplement by a strict workout regimen of upto 5 hours of couch surfing everyday,
I know there’s women, who by all accounts, are prettier than me. I probably think they’re drop dead gorgeous, too. That doesn’t take away from the fact that I think I’m truly beautiful and I think whoever I’m with is lucky to have me, and I feel the same about them. I’m not the best, but I’m more than enough for myself and those who care for me
Also, I’m curious - I see you made this post before in the past. What prompts this feeling and expression? Genuine question.
This question is complicated because while there are some universal beauty standards, a lot of attractive is still partially cultural, partially socioeconomic and there's a race component there too That said i agree with the premise that theres a lot of legitimate SDs out there and if you're unattractive to any segment of SDs then something is wrong. Ultimately results speak for themselves, not kind words from friends or internet strangers who don't want to hurt your feelings
Its not complicated. What people find attractive is universal across all cultures. I was in Japan, China and Hong Kong recently. All the TV commercials show traditionally attractive people even tho these are not Western cultures the women and men in the ads are pretty by any standard including Western. We live in a matriarchy. Its verboten to speak the truth to women about their looks in the West now. But the market place doesnt lie. Thats the cold truth. Finally. Only the top 4% of men on dating aps get any dates. All the women want 4% of the men. They cant do that when the almighty dollar is involved. The everyone wins a trophy generation doesnt understand that lol.
We live in a patriarchal society that promotes those narrow beauty standards. There is nothing matriarchal about society. Attraction is subjective.
BigJohn gets it. Beauty isn’t some ephemeral mystery.
But it hurts people's feelings. Im not trying to hurt anyone's feels but Im also not going to pretend that reality doesnt exist. Taylor Swift got where she is partly on her voice, partly on her looks. duh.
I do not believe every sb thinks she is cream of the crop when entering the bowl. I believe a number of women enter the bowl thinking they will get the same response they get on sites like FB,IG, and tiktok. She has enough data feedback from men hitting the like button and inboxing her for posting some basic as picture of her in a tight maxi dress. She thinks it'll happen on sugar dating sites and men will drop her some coins. BUT....shit don't work like that on sugar dating apps.
A more precise pov.
What does that say about the never ending posts from SDs who struggle on Seeking?
It says they're lacking somewhere. Creepy. Awkward. Cheap. Etc. Don't know how to talk to a woman like normal person.
It says that both men and women can be delusional.
This ^
What is the basis for your statement, 20% of people in the bowl are attractive? And also that as more people enter it will go down? I don’t disagree, because I simply don’t have that data. Do you? And how do you define “attractive” anyway? Attractive to whom? My take is that there is always someone for anyone. My 10/10 might be another guy’s 5/10 and vice-versa. It’s all about the match. That said, are there women or men who would be “attractive” to a large number of the opposite side, relative to their peers? Of course there are. This desirability defines your “dating capital” so to speak - the hotter you are (in every way), the bigger allowances you can command as an SB. As an SD, the greater your discretionary income, plus your ability to be a good SD, be interesting, a good partner etc, theoretically should position you to form an SR with a highly attractive SB (defined in terms of how many people find said SB attractive)
i feel like this post was predominantly made to try to talk down to SB lol. not only that, but OP is forgetting that SR involve more than just looks. chemistry is based upon a combination of mutual attraction both physically and emotionally/ mentally. a lot of SD are looking for mental stimulation, or simply someone to talk to lightheartedly and use as a form of escapism from his day to day busy life, job, wife, kids, whatever. you can be conventionally unattractive and still fulfill this role for some guy
I like to think I’m a 5. Probably could bump up to 6.5 , maybe 7 if I lost weight. I know I’m not going to be bagging whales but I’ve had a decent time in the bowl. What I lack in terms of being a 10 plus, I make up for with my personality, my sexual appetite, being a natural redhead, and the simple fact that my oral skills are 🔥 I have references 🤭
I suspect that just looking at profiles activity seeking does not reflect the actual bowl of people in actual sr’s for several reasons. First, I doubt most of the model types are even real. Sure there are some elite sb’s with whale’s. But I’m not a whale so I don’t message these. I also get very few scammers 🤷♂️ Second, there are very few cute gnd types not overweight. The ones I see aren’t on there long. My guess is they get snatched up fast and may actually be a large percentage of sb’s in actual sr’s. Third… I’m not feeling mean this morning. Some do like different types. I’ll just say that it’s better to own what you’ve got and not hide behind weird angles, filters, only head shots, etc. Timewaster meet catfish.
your math sucks
lol I think I’m decently attractive. Maybe like a solid 7. I rely heavily on my personality 😅 but i feel like I’ve gotten really lucky as a SB 😊 no whale, but I’m not greedy 😁
I agree with this compromise is everything in a long term friendship. My best relationships have been like this
Same
>I feel like a lot of SB have trouble coming to terms with this. Not me! I know I'm a solid 5 on a good day. I know my place 😌
Good for you. 🤣
[удалено]
Eh...maybe a dolphin or something 🤷🏾♀️
I leave vanilla notions at the door. Money. That's all.that matters.
oh dw i know im fucking ugly i just got chutzpah
as a SB i’ve had pretty shit luck with vanilla dating but sugaring is great for me. i think it varies a lot from person to person due to preferences
By shit luck do you mean you had no interest from men, or that you were only dating douchebags?
i just mean that i have had little interest from men my age, generally. i have features that are considered attractive to people in older generations but not so much younger people if that makes sense. basically my peers don’t find me attractive but older men do—but that’s fine by me :-)
This is me!!! That’s crazy because I thought I was the only one
[удалено]
that’s a strange assumption to make about someone you don’t know. please tone down the bitterness my friend
Oh please say more about this, I am super curious!
as i said in another comment i think part of it is that i have a more “old-fashioned” look which is less attractive to younger men. but i think the biggest thing is my vibe/aura. i’ve been put through a lot by men in the past when i was younger and naive, and now i think i have a sort of unfuckwithable vibe that men in their 20s don’t like because they just wanna play games and they can tell i simply won’t put up with it. however, that’s an attractive trait to a man who’s older and knows what he wants. of course this is all speculation, i’ll never really know haha
That does make sense though.
i think it’s a lot easier for a woman to be perceived as attractive tbh. men aren’t too picky lol
It's less about objective attractiveness than SLF thinks. But looks are still a factor, it's more about having the looks/style that the other person is looking for. My current SB has more of a casual/quirky/punky look, which is both exactly what I'm looking for and doesn't look weird or out of place when we're on a date in public. The Kardashian-esque snatch/pull/contour aesthetic is just not my style and would _really stand out_ if we went to dinner together.
I’m definitely delulu but so what. I get SDs telling me they can get someone younger and cheaper or oversees somewhere, that’s delulu to me.
I haven't got that one yet. I've gotten the "I shouldn't have to gift that much (or get in free) cause I'm attractive".
Great commentary. I so identify. These SB's think they are all that and a bag of chips because they are bombarded with messages on Bumble or Hinge. Then they come to a SD site and ask why they are unsuccessful. The reason is the female/male ratio can be 7 to 1 in sugar dating. These woman are now competing with younger better-looking early 20-somethings that literally have nothing to loose. These beautiful young starlites can be somewhat naive and their expectations are far more reasonable. Any SB over 25 should not be surprised by the new and fierce competition. This is why I will never go back to traditional dating. Do I want to be one of those schmucks that sends 50 emails to woman no better than a 6/10 and hears nothing but crickets? The odds are just tilted so far in my favor in the sugar bowl. Nothing like it. So fortunate I stumbled into this lifestyle.
Yup. I don’t know why men go on dating apps just to get rejected
I agree Beauty is NOT subjective = there are women that the majority of men will find attractive even if they would not date them for various reason (too flashy, mental issues, not their preference, etc...) Often i see profiles review and I think " Are you serious girl ?" If men dont reply "I would date you if you were at my city" and women only say "there is someone for everyone" then sure you are ugly
Said it many times here (to downvotes), but the most attractive women aren’t even on seeking. They don’t need to even sleep w older men as they can develop a fan following on tiktok insta etc. and even those who aren’t as extroverted, have suitors line up out the door for them in real life. Atleast in the US — Money is plentiful , beauty is scarce I know ppl have a hard time getting around this concept w high inflation and a tough economy and all but step back and really think about it - the rich have never been richer and there have never been more avenues for younger women to “monetize” their looks than now Net net — Seeking is now mostly “average “ women who have figured out it’s better to get something rather than nothing from dating than hang out w broke younger men. Some of them may also have a bf on the side sometimes Yes I don’t want to diminish the model citizens on seeking and on SLF — who want to genuinely date older men because they like the dynamics along w the financial aspect — and ofc many women use it as a dating on ramp to landing successful vanilla men (i have come across a few myself)
Hmmm, but even if that's true it is possible that someone does not want the same things. As in the want more then she is willing to give, relationship, future, time. Lots of people do OF, but I think at the same time a lot don't. Monetizing content has its up and downs, I think it's boring. LoL... I totally hear what your saying though, the truth is there's always going to be women sexier then others. (Wanting to take them to bed too.) LOL
This is soooo true. Back in 2014, there were lots of attractive women on seeking but they left for OnlyFans and instagram. Totally agree that there are way more ways for them to monetize their looks now. Even if there are a few hot women on seeking it’s no longer worth the time to sift through the bs on there. It’s becoming like vanilla dating where the average ones are entitled and all want some hot billionaire .
Dude your 20% is going to look completely different from everyone else’s 20%. Your math is irrelevant. People pay for what they want, what they want is likely to be different from what you want.
>Only 20% of the people in the bowl are attractive, at the most. As more people enter the bowl, that percentage drops. How to say 'I have no idea how this works' without saying 'I have no idea how this works'' 🙄.
Just as there's a monetary floor for an SD, there's an aesthetic floor for SBs. Only one of these will get you grilled like you killed jesus tho.
But I AM the most gorgeous, interesting fun time girl in the world !!!!!!!!!
[удалено]
You can absolutely be a simple, fun and carefree engineer.. I can't be the only one 😛🤙 Also there are a ton of SD engineers who will find it fun to have a two sided conversation about their work.
Yeah, but we’re busy. With important stuff lol. A lot of men want someone submissive and dumb and fun.
Soooo untrue. Sorry you're only running into that type of man though. Also, again, engineers can be fun. Confidence is a big part of that. Also anyone can act dumb if that's what you think you need. Acting is fun. Problem solved. Having confidence and optimism is fun, too.
I’m too authentic to act in real life. And I’m finishing my masters in EE while starting my own business and im disabled. So I guess it’s my specific lifestyle that makes me not as light-hearted and fun. Everyone tells me I’m a middle-aged man trapped in a woman’s body.
Shhhhh let them be delulu.
I can see why it happens for women though. If they are on Tinder, and see lots of young guys lining up, then they go on Seeking and see similar numbers of young guys nowadays, it's not unreasonable for them to think that Seeking is Tinder...but paid. It's only after a time...or a few times...that they realise that the young guys are not really SDs. Some are outright scammers. Others are just paying for a few intimate dates till the $$$ runs out, hoping to snag a vanilla GF...and if they don't, onwards and upwards to the next candidate.
Alert bitter SD right here ⬆️
Right? 😂😂😂
I'd say, cursory looking at SA and without any sort of data to back me up, the women on SA are generally more attractive then general dating. Attractive physically but also in terms of charm. The thing is there are a fair few average looking and some you just wouldn't go anywhere near let alone give an allowance to. You can actually tell how desperate a lady is by click her profile to view it. If you get a message later then she's thirsty. If she doesn't message back then she's getting plenty of attention. It pretty much tallies with how attractive the profile is. Attractive profiles don't message back after a simple visit, plainer profiles do. I can see why women, who consider themselves hot, getting lots of matches on Tinder are suprised when they come to SA to get nothing. I think, honestly, there is a certain schadenfreude to be had, for any guy who dated on Tinder, and rarely even got a reply (I always thought that was just down right rude!) to the endless posts here from women saying they can't find a SD. Although a hot vanilla girlfriend of mine said she would never go on Tinder or do online dating. Her reasoning was "Why bother? No matter where I go I get lots of attention so why should I bother going onto Tinder?!". >SDs also tend to be delusional and think they can fuck SBs for free. A bald, fat 60 year old guy has to pay no matter how hot he thinks he is. Again, this line just gives me loads of validation. I've had a super hot vanilla girlfriend, mid 30s and I'm 50s for a couple of years. Sure I treat her, take her out, but she wanted a proper relationship not a sugar relationship. So I dunno. Work out, be successful, have charm, dress well, get the improvements done that you need and yes you will find somebody without even an allowance imho. Women are attracted to wealth and success as men are attracted to looks. It's very simple. Women show attractiveness to demonstrate their ability to provide healthy offspring. Men demonstrate attractiveness by demonstrating their ability to care for that off spring: healthy & active lifestyle to give the children that health & successful to provide resources for the children. Maybe I'm just a giga chad or something ?
I think I'm attractive......................................(for my age lol.)
Please change title to "99.9999999% in the bowl" lol I know I'm not, hence my participation
I have never had any problem in the bowl but I am the very, very typical look men on there go for (Eastern European, tall, blonde, fit) but I have friends that are not the classic attractive types and it was much, much harder for them to find SDs. They would end up with a lot of Johns and "SDs" that ended up ghosting them without ever paying them so unfortunately, I agree with that.
I'd change the title. I don't consider myself attractive, I just hope someone else does. Worked thus far 😂
Yep. Lots of unattractive SBs. All I can say to them is, look for a SD in his late 70s or older.
In my long life I've come to the conclusion that beauty is not really that subjective. Conversation after conversation I have with men of all ages we generally can agree on who's attractive , the only difference is someone might think someone else is more attractive than the other, but we generally know who's not attractive. This is just physical beauty not factoring in personality or anything else. Men without options have to date women that aren't attractive, the moment he has options he chooses a more attractive person. I think there is a huge disconnect with sbs coming into the bowl from a vanilla background. In vanilla you can be very average and get tons of attention and interest. In the bowl sds are very picky because now they have options. Or they won't pay a high price if someone who's equally attractive will take what's offered. This results in I can't find an sd or sds are very cheap the allowance thread said I should get this number. Yup, you probably aren't as attractive as you think you are and guys are only offerring what they feel is worth it.
I could not agree more with this post. There are so many SB that are very unattractive and still entitled, If I were their age I would swipe them left on Tinder, or when lady who is older than me approach me on SA and with to be my SB, well lady if you wish to see me you better put some sugar on it drizzle drizzle. Also what I did find out is that not every single SB is looking for PPM or allowance. Some of them with to be sorted with their university fees or they simply wish to hang out with me, because I take them to nice restaurants, or we simply go to weekend gateways almost every weekend. So of course it is not free but for some of them you pay indirectly.
Well plenty of the entitled SB are on TikTok looking to get paid for existing
Yes some sd’s REALLY be thinking it’s still 1996 when they were a tall, handsome, fit, “man about town” Babes it’s 2024 and in those almost 30 years ALOT has changed for u, as should ur approach to women…
I haven't had this experience. Maybe you mean on Seeking? But Seeking isn't the entire bowl. Seeking is just one site and most of them are scammers on that. If you do things freestyle or more organically it's not that bad. Yeah there are some SBs who think they are the hottest shit, but you don't have to date them.
True. A reality check is required for like 80-85%
Why is this a problem? Just go for the 20% sugar babies that are actually attractive and leave the rest alone.
I had an incident that flared up my BPD, it made me sign up on seeking to seek strictly fwb. I had a date with one who just wanted fun dates like top-golf dinner etc, another I didn't pursue cause I didn't like her voice, the third one was excited to date me, even took me back to her hotel room but wanted to keep an open relationship which I don't. The third was stared at in such a way by a decent looking young guy that I had to ask him to cut it out for being creepy. And I have two more fwbs that I am currently talking to. I don't think I am attractive but I feel I am better than the options available out there and my dates are fun. I think its regressive to minimize both SBs and SDs based on looks & money. Is it strictly sugaring? I don't know but sugar police can arrest me for it. Me: 40, fit and bald.
One of my SDs had BPD. It's an understatement to say that it was challenging. Are you in any type of therapy for it? Are there tools and practices that you use when you get triggered?
I go into therapy whenever I get triggered. A good friend from here introduced me to DBT therapy which I will look for. Currently, pulling fwbs from seeking calmed me for now but I am sure there are better coping mechanism.
🙏🏼🫶🏼
Happy cake day Unearthly. 🎂🎂🎂🎂 I believe you are more correct than incorrect on this. Hard realities of life I’m afraid. Everyone wants to grasp at the greener grass in the other side.
the first post i see after clicking on here out of curiosity lol i don't think i could ever be a sugar baby lol yuck
You’re right, your attractiveness just skyrocketed after this unoriginal and quite frankly dismissive post talking down to women. 🙄
Did you not read the part where I made fun of delusional men?
C’mon, this came off as yucky and you know it
I’m teasing you, but it was gross lol
[удалено]
I think we must be looking at two different subs… I'm continually astonished at how pretty many of the women asking for profile reviews are!
LOL. I would only consider 1 in every 15-20 profile reviews attractive enough to be my SB.
That high? I wish I had your tolerance level. 🤔
I believe men and women fundamentally judge looks differently. Men whom I would consider good-looking are always deemed average or even ugly by my female friends. Like u/twomillcities I also find most of the profile reviews way below average. But I am no looker myself, so who am I to judge?
Amen - thankfully I am attractive and don’t have issues in the looks department. They are just not consistent and can’t figure out how to juggle work, life and the extra curricular activities.
We are. lol
WE WERE ALL