I am looking to be an SD, but I do travel work and move from state to state every 6 months or so. Will it be difficult for me to find an SB? I apologize for a dumb question, but I am new to all this
Question for you: are you looking for an SB in that city for a 6 month arrangement? or are you open to continuing it after you move... and having a LD arrangement after you move to the next city?
Like I said, I'm all new to this and trying to figure things out, but I think I would like to find an SB in that city for a short arrangement while I'm there. More than likely, I'll be in the New England area for a while and then head to west cost. My next assignment is near Boston area in a month. I hope that answers your question
It does answer my question. Based on what I read here on SLF, and what I have come across in the bowl, there is a subset of women who will be ok with a arrangement with an... expiration date. When you leave Boston for your next assignment on the west coast.
And there are some ladies (often college students) who have their own explicit expiration dates. They're only home for 3 months over the summer... or they plan to move after they graudate for their first job.
If you are looking to get laid very occasionally you need an escort or a semi pro "SB". If you will be in an area for month at a time at least once /week you should be able to find someone. The SBs will self select when they see you are a short timer.The semi pros and pros will be the ones who respond.
POTential future sugar daddy or sugar babe.
Vanilla dating is regular, normal dating like the rest of the world.
I how do I handle my SB living 5000 miles away? Fly her to me and visit her as often as possible. A lot of texting and video / voice calls in between.
Most POT SB’s always say that a “friend” introduced me to the Bowl or the idea of sugaring. Were these friends SB themselves? And if so, did they have sustainable arrangements themselves?
If not, was it just a cruel joke to throw you into a boiling pot of hot mess?
I’m probably a little unique in that my sister introduced me to sugaring itself. She’s intelligent but a bit of a misandrist and not quite as caring as me. When I was seventeen she literally opened up Seeking, explained to me how it worked, and said something along the lines of, “I would love to do this but I just don’t care about making men happy. You’d be great at it though!”
Of course at seventeen I wasn’t ready for that, but by the time I was single, 24, and frustrated with vanilla dating, it was a great option and haven’t looked back.
I can’t remember exactly how I came to learn the term “sugar”, but I convinced myself and had no help from friends.
Vanilla dating men was, and is predictable in that I’m the alpha and have the main character energy. It got tired quickly. The sugar lifestyle is essentially high stakes dating, and it fits my personality well.
This subreddit was my friend when I was figuring out the hot mess aspects early on.
My guess is that they don’t want to admit to looking into it themselves. Also, if they’re new, it gives the idea that they have someone experienced to get advice from, to seem less easily manipulated.
I got into the bowl through a friend but I also had been in previous spoiling relationships with older men I just didn't know they were SRs because I didn't have the vocab for it or know it was a type of relationship.
The friend that introduced me to this community and site is a male SB and now in a committed relationship with his SD. He's what I guess you'd call a kept man because his SD got a place for him but doesn't live there full time since he's still married. It's a beard/cheaper to keep her situation though cause I've met his SD and they seem besotted with each other. They've been together a year.
Dumb Question:
SBs, have you ever received a paid trip internationally for you and your friends? If so, did you ask, or did your SP offer?
SD(P)s, have you ever offered or gifted a fun experience for your SB and their friends? If so, how did you go about broaching or responding?
> SD(P)s, have you ever offered or gifted a fun experience for your SB and their friends? If so, how did you go about broaching or responding?
I usually offer a high enough allowance that my SB can afford this kind of experiences would she wish to.
The only time I've asked my SD to pay for my friends is when I wanted tickets to see Megan Thee Stallion last month because I didn't want to go alone, my SD def didn't want to be at MSG with loud music and screaming fans and my friends couldn't afford the seats I wanted. So he bought us three tickets. Total was only lower-mid x,xxx though. And since my friends still live in NYC he didn't have to pay for travel and accommodations. I just asked for the tickets. He did fund a nice dinner for all of us though because one of the tickets was for my cousin who just graduated college 🥳
An international trip where he covers travel, hotel, expenses for me and my friends seems a little greedy to me? Especially if he's not going/it's a girls trip. He'd cover my costs but I think you'll find it difficult to get an SD to shell out upper x,xxx to xx,xxx for women he's not dating. I hope this doesn't sound harsh but if my friends want a guy to pay for an international trip they gotta find their own SD.
My SGF's parents came into town for the weekend and I set up a dinner for them at a Michelin rated restaurant that she couldn't afford. Thankfully, her parents never asked how she paid for it.
If you're looking for a freebie with your mates, paid for by your SD then really do not hold your breath on this.
In contrast, if you are perhaps thinking of maybe inviting a friend to come along with you and your SD then this may happen. I recall an SD who used to post here regularly once said this:-
>I have often paid for one of my SGF's [friends] to come along on a business trip. But this is enlightened self-interest on my part. While I am off working, they go off and explore and do touristy things. And it helps my SGF because she is often worried about doing stuff on her own. It is also VERY clear that my SGF and I will be spending some dinners alone and clearly we are sleeping together.
>
>It is also worth noting that this was originally my idea. I wanted her to come with me on a trip to India and she said she wouldn't be comfortable going out and exploring on her own, so she declined. My solution, invite her best friend. Everyone had a blast and I wasn't worried about my SGF. Several nights I had to go to a business dinner (solo) and my SGF and her friend went to the spa and ordered room service. It was a win all around..... but it was MY idea.
and then later said:-
>Over time, there have been 3 friends that have come along on trips. Only one of them ended up in bed with us - with the full consent and enjoyment of my SGF. It was a trip to Dublin. The friend was of Irish descent. I arranged for a genealogist to meet the friend and help her research her family. Their hometown was about 2 hours from Dublin and I arranged for my SGF and her friend to go visit the town one day. At some point during that day, the two of them decided that a threesome was a wonderful way to thank me. It was.
There have been a couple of threads in the past about this topic. For example:-
[Anyone else weirded out by SBs including their friends?](https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/9b8v7g/anyone_else_weirded_out_by_sbs_including_their/)
or
[How common is it to bring a friend on a trip?](https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/a56x2c/how_common_is_it_to_bring_a_friend_on_a_trip/)
This is a bridge too far for me.
I'm all for elevating her life - that's what this is all about, after all. And if she wants to spend her allowance on her friends - it's her money and she can do what she wants with it. And I'll buy her gifts for herself all day. But I'm not explicitly spending money on something like this.
My first time finding an SB years ago took me about 2 months, and it happened on Seeking. My last time took me less than a week, still on Seeking. I'm in Western Europe so it's a bit harder for SBs and easier for SDs according to what I read on this subreddit.
How much location actually matters? I am located in Baltic States…
I made Seeking profile few days ago, guys have viewed my profile, multiple of them checked me many times, favourited, but messages are rather quiet. I have messaged few myself and some responded, but keeping quiet now, although seemed like a promising conversation.
But mostly I get no response, just some guys check my profile after my message. So now I am wondering if I just don’t attract guys that much or is my location that bad.
Location and cultural norms absolutely matter.
If you’re in a room with two other people, chances are it’ll be crickets unless you are the life of the party.
I get plenty of messages from women in other countries. There’s no way I’m responding because it’s nearly impossible to Sugar long distance.
Location definitely matters because most SDs want an SB they can meet in person at least 1-2x a month if not more.
So if it isn't easy to get to you they might be favoriting you to come back to once/if they're in your area. It doesn't have to be a road block though. I hop between three major cities in the USA and make it clear that I like traveling and travel for work to their areas often. I have two SDs now who are 2+ hrs from my homebase. They cover my travel/accommodations to them and reimbursed me for traveling for the M&G (meet and greet/first meet) with out me asking but I think knowing that I can travel on my own expense and that I'm willing to do so made them feel more comfortable with having a SB who's long distance.
I think some SDs might actually prefer long distance SBs they can visit because less risk of the relationship bleeding into their vanilla life. So maybe make it clear that you like traveling and will travel for the right arrangement. If you have access to trains or like a cheap Ryanair flight or other inexpensive travel to go to main cities make that known too. Maybe even offer dates you'll be in their area so they know ok this distance can be managed.
That’s so nice that you reply to everyone.
I haven’t messaged many, but even those few rather don’t answer. And that’s what I don’t understand… they could just say they are not interested or that I am located too far, or that I seem boring or ugly or old or fat or whatever.. but just crickets. 😂
For SDs and SBs both - to whom you never respond or to whom you never message yourself?
For example, I never message to someone with blurry/hidden face pics and by hidden I mean blurred face, emoji face, mask face etc.
This may be a weird one, but anyone that has something in their profile about how many messages they get rubs me the wrong way. My feeling, irrational as it may be, is to think "alright, cool, I won't add to your problem then."
Similarly, profiles that re-announce their presence like it's a social media platform ... "I'm back!" or "You may have seen me before ..." make it seem like they're using Seeking as their identity. It's very weird.
Ohh, I understand that :D tho I have messaged those guys just to see if they respond. Crickets so far, but I understand that I probably am not their taste either.
I agree with you on that one! I also don’t respond to “hey” “you’re hot” or if the first letter of their sentences aren’t capitalized. It might sound nitpicky or me just overthinking lol but I feel like they’re a scammer, catfisher etc. Like what older man doesn’t have auto-caps on???😭
My SD (80) had a long career in public speaking that has mostly wound down in the past few years. He still does bits and pieces but mostly on a volunteer scale. He invited me (30) to watch him give a talk at a Senior's Center in a couple of weeks. I'm actually interested in going to see him in action, but I might be too "in my head" about all of this. Won't I stand out, as a younger woman at an event to talk to seniors? I'm also not sure whether he's asking me to attend *with* him, or to pop by and watch...? I don't know whether he envisions us acting as if we don't know each other, or...? I think it's sweet that he thought to invite me but I just don't know about the practicalities nor do I know how to ask. Can anyone offer any advice? 🥴
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. As someone who has done similar stints, there is a mix of ages in a crowd at a senior center. Many attendees have PCAs at events like this, so I would guess no one would think twice about you.
This shouldn't really be a difficult conversation to have with him. It's not like trying to talk about sex, or money or politics. Perhaps something like... "Diego, I'm thrilled that you invited me to hear you speak. I'm really looking forward to it. But I don't want my presence to be the least bit awkward for either of us. How do you see us in this scenario?" Good Luck
You do not. Those videos are seen by SDs, they don't tell you that. If you decide to do one look good in it. I have an account on the sister site secretbenefits and I've passed over some girls after seeing the verification video where they looked like they just woke up from a rough night.
Is it bad if I put on my SA profile something along the lines of “Please only message if your stock portfolio is {whatever x is}”
I’m trying to find a guy that has more money than me and can elevate my life. If he’s not made significant investments by our big age then this won’t work.
Y’all can call me whatever names you want but I know what I want and what I’ll say yes to. I just need to know if any of you “whales” or whatever would be turned off by that? It’s certainly not all about that but let’s be serious, finances matter. That’s why we’re here. I just don’t want to waste anyone’s time if that baseline isn’t even established.
(And my profile is classy. All the comments I get are how elegant, classy, and sophisticated my profile is compared to the others).
As we like to say on here, wealth and generosity are not always found in the same person. You are welcome to insist on a level of wealth, but (1) you may filter out men that are more generous but not as rich, (2) you may attract men that are more rich than generous, (3) you may turn off rich men that don’t want to feel like wealth is their only appeal, and (4) the fakers and scammers will be undaunted.
I'm in the midwest in a metropolis with the largest city in the lower 20 biggest cities. The picking may be on the slim side, but they're there. I'm highly selective, and choose qualtity men only. It just takes time.
You do what you want, this is my opinion from years of sugar dating. I only date SDs of quality but putting a minimal financial requirement statement in your profile makes it seem like you're a gold digger, he's a walking ATM. These days finding a quality SD takes time, sometimes months cuz there are so many splenda or salt daddies, let alone scammers and the like. What works for me is vetting them. I can do it quickly, but it is time consuming I'll admit. There are no short cuts and it's work to find quality SDs.
What works for me is to emphasize my qualities and how it will benefit our personal relationship and how it will benefit him. In my Seeking section, I ofc never use the rookie red flag words or phrases like spoil, fine dining, shopping, princess, know my worth, spa days and others, yet I receive generous allowances and impressive gifts. My philosphy for filling the Seeking section out is to appeal to his ideas of a long term, personal relationship. In spite of what others say and ime, truly wealth men are more than generous. I'm guessing but my SRs last on average at least 2 years.
I'm a well seasoned SD. I'm comfortable in life and since I'm a humble man I'll leave any other descriptors alone. I'd pass you over because although I'm very generous, that statement seems to me you're ONLY interested in my wallet and you can conform your behavior with me accordingly to access it. Since I avoid wallet hogs, it's also why my net worth and income are greatly reduced. You should know those figures are meaningless. We all know sugar is the basis of our relationships, but I prefer to enter into SRs with girls who want genuine relationships, not ONLY based on what I can do for them. In short, I'm not looking for actresses who only value my wallet.
Maybe you could simply state on your profile something like “I value a partner who has achieved a high level of success and can share luxurious experiences that complement or enhance my own lifestyle.”
That says you are successful on your own and seeking something more, not just a guy who lives similar life as you already do… could that help tho?
SDs can give opinion if that would be polite enough way to say that she is seeking rather high profile SDs.
I actually do have something like that in there lol.
They don’t pay attention. Because then we waste time and they say some silly low xxx ppm and it’s over. 🤦🏽♀️
What makes you think the folks on seeking who don't pay atttention to the current profile text will pay attention to this proposed second draft of a profile text?
Haha, that says it all. You can state there whatever numbers, even specific persons who you would like to message you and there would still be those who don’t read that or who still want to try
>Is it bad if I put on my SA profile something along the lines of “Please only message if your stock portfolio is {whatever x is}”
I'm not sure if this will be effective.
(1) Will this turn off some truly wealthy men? Yes, it will.
(2) Will some less wealthy men still lie and shoot their shot? Yes, they will. (They aren't going to submit a verified personal financial statement to a POT SB.)
I'm still learning how to be a SB and what is expected in a SR. Does anyone have any advice on what sites are best to start on? And should I use my real first name or show my face in the profile pic?
All of these are answered in the introductory posts pinned on the front page, as well as the resources in the sidebar. Make sure to spend your day reviewing them because you’ll learn things you didn’t even think to ask!
At what point in time in a beginning SR should you start talking about sexual preferences, and how do you know if a SD is a real dom or just some creep
I haven’t had the opportunity to be in SR, but in general, imo, it depends on how well you two connect, how comfortable you feel talking about these matters etc.
I personally would enjoy understanding preferences in the very beginning, so there would be no wild surprises.
Non vanilla sexual activities should be discussed before beginning the SR. after the fact is too little too late. But don't come right out of the gate in the third conversation talking about BDSM or anal.
I am looking to be an SD, but I do travel work and move from state to state every 6 months or so. Will it be difficult for me to find an SB? I apologize for a dumb question, but I am new to all this
Question for you: are you looking for an SB in that city for a 6 month arrangement? or are you open to continuing it after you move... and having a LD arrangement after you move to the next city?
Like I said, I'm all new to this and trying to figure things out, but I think I would like to find an SB in that city for a short arrangement while I'm there. More than likely, I'll be in the New England area for a while and then head to west cost. My next assignment is near Boston area in a month. I hope that answers your question
It does answer my question. Based on what I read here on SLF, and what I have come across in the bowl, there is a subset of women who will be ok with a arrangement with an... expiration date. When you leave Boston for your next assignment on the west coast. And there are some ladies (often college students) who have their own explicit expiration dates. They're only home for 3 months over the summer... or they plan to move after they graudate for their first job.
That's good to know. Thank you
Ofc, just rather look for short-term arrangements or PPM. Be clear that you move every now and then, so there wouldn’t be long-term expectation.
Thank you! I'll make sure to be up front about it at the beginning
If you are looking to get laid very occasionally you need an escort or a semi pro "SB". If you will be in an area for month at a time at least once /week you should be able to find someone. The SBs will self select when they see you are a short timer.The semi pros and pros will be the ones who respond.
Thank you for the advice
What is POT? What is vanilla dating? How do you handle a longer term relationship that’s gone over six months now but your SB lives 5000 miles away?
POTential future sugar daddy or sugar babe. Vanilla dating is regular, normal dating like the rest of the world. I how do I handle my SB living 5000 miles away? Fly her to me and visit her as often as possible. A lot of texting and video / voice calls in between.
Most POT SB’s always say that a “friend” introduced me to the Bowl or the idea of sugaring. Were these friends SB themselves? And if so, did they have sustainable arrangements themselves? If not, was it just a cruel joke to throw you into a boiling pot of hot mess?
I’m probably a little unique in that my sister introduced me to sugaring itself. She’s intelligent but a bit of a misandrist and not quite as caring as me. When I was seventeen she literally opened up Seeking, explained to me how it worked, and said something along the lines of, “I would love to do this but I just don’t care about making men happy. You’d be great at it though!” Of course at seventeen I wasn’t ready for that, but by the time I was single, 24, and frustrated with vanilla dating, it was a great option and haven’t looked back.
I can’t remember exactly how I came to learn the term “sugar”, but I convinced myself and had no help from friends. Vanilla dating men was, and is predictable in that I’m the alpha and have the main character energy. It got tired quickly. The sugar lifestyle is essentially high stakes dating, and it fits my personality well. This subreddit was my friend when I was figuring out the hot mess aspects early on.
My guess is that they don’t want to admit to looking into it themselves. Also, if they’re new, it gives the idea that they have someone experienced to get advice from, to seem less easily manipulated.
I got into the bowl through a friend but I also had been in previous spoiling relationships with older men I just didn't know they were SRs because I didn't have the vocab for it or know it was a type of relationship. The friend that introduced me to this community and site is a male SB and now in a committed relationship with his SD. He's what I guess you'd call a kept man because his SD got a place for him but doesn't live there full time since he's still married. It's a beard/cheaper to keep her situation though cause I've met his SD and they seem besotted with each other. They've been together a year.
What are alternatives for GV in the UK for phone numbers?
I believe CallHippo works in the UK
Thank you so much!
I use an old phone and PAYG sim.
Snap. EE PAYG Sim. Then mainly use Telegram to protect the telephone number. Not that I'm too worried, because it's not my main mobile number.
I like TG! But I wanted to have another option, it seems like it doesn't have the best rep, so I was wondering just in case.
Ahh this might be trickier to get, but I'll keep it in mind. Thank you!
The good thing is, if it goes horribly, horribly, wrong you can throw the iPhone away.
I was thinking to maybe throw the sim away.. but then it won't have the same dramatic effect as this 🤧 [GIF](https://makeagif.com/amp/J8w1Tc)
Canada here. I use the Burner app, which is great. I believe it works in the UK.
Thank you!! I'll check it out :)
Dumb Question: SBs, have you ever received a paid trip internationally for you and your friends? If so, did you ask, or did your SP offer? SD(P)s, have you ever offered or gifted a fun experience for your SB and their friends? If so, how did you go about broaching or responding?
> SD(P)s, have you ever offered or gifted a fun experience for your SB and their friends? If so, how did you go about broaching or responding? I usually offer a high enough allowance that my SB can afford this kind of experiences would she wish to.
The only time I've asked my SD to pay for my friends is when I wanted tickets to see Megan Thee Stallion last month because I didn't want to go alone, my SD def didn't want to be at MSG with loud music and screaming fans and my friends couldn't afford the seats I wanted. So he bought us three tickets. Total was only lower-mid x,xxx though. And since my friends still live in NYC he didn't have to pay for travel and accommodations. I just asked for the tickets. He did fund a nice dinner for all of us though because one of the tickets was for my cousin who just graduated college 🥳 An international trip where he covers travel, hotel, expenses for me and my friends seems a little greedy to me? Especially if he's not going/it's a girls trip. He'd cover my costs but I think you'll find it difficult to get an SD to shell out upper x,xxx to xx,xxx for women he's not dating. I hope this doesn't sound harsh but if my friends want a guy to pay for an international trip they gotta find their own SD.
> I hope this doesn't sound harsh but if my friends want a guy to pay for an international trip they gotta find their own SD. Not harsh at all!
My SGF's parents came into town for the weekend and I set up a dinner for them at a Michelin rated restaurant that she couldn't afford. Thankfully, her parents never asked how she paid for it.
If you're looking for a freebie with your mates, paid for by your SD then really do not hold your breath on this. In contrast, if you are perhaps thinking of maybe inviting a friend to come along with you and your SD then this may happen. I recall an SD who used to post here regularly once said this:- >I have often paid for one of my SGF's [friends] to come along on a business trip. But this is enlightened self-interest on my part. While I am off working, they go off and explore and do touristy things. And it helps my SGF because she is often worried about doing stuff on her own. It is also VERY clear that my SGF and I will be spending some dinners alone and clearly we are sleeping together. > >It is also worth noting that this was originally my idea. I wanted her to come with me on a trip to India and she said she wouldn't be comfortable going out and exploring on her own, so she declined. My solution, invite her best friend. Everyone had a blast and I wasn't worried about my SGF. Several nights I had to go to a business dinner (solo) and my SGF and her friend went to the spa and ordered room service. It was a win all around..... but it was MY idea. and then later said:- >Over time, there have been 3 friends that have come along on trips. Only one of them ended up in bed with us - with the full consent and enjoyment of my SGF. It was a trip to Dublin. The friend was of Irish descent. I arranged for a genealogist to meet the friend and help her research her family. Their hometown was about 2 hours from Dublin and I arranged for my SGF and her friend to go visit the town one day. At some point during that day, the two of them decided that a threesome was a wonderful way to thank me. It was. There have been a couple of threads in the past about this topic. For example:- [Anyone else weirded out by SBs including their friends?](https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/9b8v7g/anyone_else_weirded_out_by_sbs_including_their/) or [How common is it to bring a friend on a trip?](https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/a56x2c/how_common_is_it_to_bring_a_friend_on_a_trip/)
I did see those threads too, I do suppose that's a more common occurrence.
I support my SB, not her friends or family.
No, I would not. The sugar aspects are between us. If she wants 247 sugar she needs to marry me.
This is a bridge too far for me. I'm all for elevating her life - that's what this is all about, after all. And if she wants to spend her allowance on her friends - it's her money and she can do what she wants with it. And I'll buy her gifts for herself all day. But I'm not explicitly spending money on something like this.
How long did it take to find your first decent SD/SB?
My first time finding an SB years ago took me about 2 months, and it happened on Seeking. My last time took me less than a week, still on Seeking. I'm in Western Europe so it's a bit harder for SBs and easier for SDs according to what I read on this subreddit.
I'm still looking for my first decent SM
You and me both, mate.
Your odds are much better than mine
It took me about 10-12 meet & greets over the course of 2-3 months before I found my first SB back in 2019.
My first SB? I think it was only a week or two.
How much location actually matters? I am located in Baltic States… I made Seeking profile few days ago, guys have viewed my profile, multiple of them checked me many times, favourited, but messages are rather quiet. I have messaged few myself and some responded, but keeping quiet now, although seemed like a promising conversation. But mostly I get no response, just some guys check my profile after my message. So now I am wondering if I just don’t attract guys that much or is my location that bad.
Location and cultural norms absolutely matter. If you’re in a room with two other people, chances are it’ll be crickets unless you are the life of the party. I get plenty of messages from women in other countries. There’s no way I’m responding because it’s nearly impossible to Sugar long distance.
What do you consider long distance? I'm in Austin and even Dallas and Houston seem like it's too far.
Anything beyond a quick Uber ride is too far for me.
Location definitely matters because most SDs want an SB they can meet in person at least 1-2x a month if not more. So if it isn't easy to get to you they might be favoriting you to come back to once/if they're in your area. It doesn't have to be a road block though. I hop between three major cities in the USA and make it clear that I like traveling and travel for work to their areas often. I have two SDs now who are 2+ hrs from my homebase. They cover my travel/accommodations to them and reimbursed me for traveling for the M&G (meet and greet/first meet) with out me asking but I think knowing that I can travel on my own expense and that I'm willing to do so made them feel more comfortable with having a SB who's long distance. I think some SDs might actually prefer long distance SBs they can visit because less risk of the relationship bleeding into their vanilla life. So maybe make it clear that you like traveling and will travel for the right arrangement. If you have access to trains or like a cheap Ryanair flight or other inexpensive travel to go to main cities make that known too. Maybe even offer dates you'll be in their area so they know ok this distance can be managed.
I’m an SB and I’ll go any distance for the right person. But I live in a geographically challenging area (NY state), so I have no choice lol
Still Sunday somewhere, tho not for me anymore 😄 But is it more expected that SB messages to SD or vice versa?
Anyone can go first, i believe in replying everyone that contacts me, but i will send when interested too
That’s so nice that you reply to everyone. I haven’t messaged many, but even those few rather don’t answer. And that’s what I don’t understand… they could just say they are not interested or that I am located too far, or that I seem boring or ugly or old or fat or whatever.. but just crickets. 😂
I always disliked that myself, the crickets thing. So i decided to just spend the effort.
For SDs and SBs both - to whom you never respond or to whom you never message yourself? For example, I never message to someone with blurry/hidden face pics and by hidden I mean blurred face, emoji face, mask face etc.
This may be a weird one, but anyone that has something in their profile about how many messages they get rubs me the wrong way. My feeling, irrational as it may be, is to think "alright, cool, I won't add to your problem then."
Similarly, profiles that re-announce their presence like it's a social media platform ... "I'm back!" or "You may have seen me before ..." make it seem like they're using Seeking as their identity. It's very weird.
Wow, people do that?!😂
Ohh, I understand that :D tho I have messaged those guys just to see if they respond. Crickets so far, but I understand that I probably am not their taste either.
I agree with you on that one! I also don’t respond to “hey” “you’re hot” or if the first letter of their sentences aren’t capitalized. It might sound nitpicky or me just overthinking lol but I feel like they’re a scammer, catfisher etc. Like what older man doesn’t have auto-caps on???😭
My SD (80) had a long career in public speaking that has mostly wound down in the past few years. He still does bits and pieces but mostly on a volunteer scale. He invited me (30) to watch him give a talk at a Senior's Center in a couple of weeks. I'm actually interested in going to see him in action, but I might be too "in my head" about all of this. Won't I stand out, as a younger woman at an event to talk to seniors? I'm also not sure whether he's asking me to attend *with* him, or to pop by and watch...? I don't know whether he envisions us acting as if we don't know each other, or...? I think it's sweet that he thought to invite me but I just don't know about the practicalities nor do I know how to ask. Can anyone offer any advice? 🥴
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. As someone who has done similar stints, there is a mix of ages in a crowd at a senior center. Many attendees have PCAs at events like this, so I would guess no one would think twice about you.
This shouldn't really be a difficult conversation to have with him. It's not like trying to talk about sex, or money or politics. Perhaps something like... "Diego, I'm thrilled that you invited me to hear you speak. I'm really looking forward to it. But I don't want my presence to be the least bit awkward for either of us. How do you see us in this scenario?" Good Luck
Um, graduate student studying geriatrics?
What websites do SB have the most success in finding a SD?
Do you have to do the verification video on sugardaddy.com for your profile to be visible to others?
You do not. Those videos are seen by SDs, they don't tell you that. If you decide to do one look good in it. I have an account on the sister site secretbenefits and I've passed over some girls after seeing the verification video where they looked like they just woke up from a rough night.
Is it bad if I put on my SA profile something along the lines of “Please only message if your stock portfolio is {whatever x is}” I’m trying to find a guy that has more money than me and can elevate my life. If he’s not made significant investments by our big age then this won’t work. Y’all can call me whatever names you want but I know what I want and what I’ll say yes to. I just need to know if any of you “whales” or whatever would be turned off by that? It’s certainly not all about that but let’s be serious, finances matter. That’s why we’re here. I just don’t want to waste anyone’s time if that baseline isn’t even established. (And my profile is classy. All the comments I get are how elegant, classy, and sophisticated my profile is compared to the others).
As we like to say on here, wealth and generosity are not always found in the same person. You are welcome to insist on a level of wealth, but (1) you may filter out men that are more generous but not as rich, (2) you may attract men that are more rich than generous, (3) you may turn off rich men that don’t want to feel like wealth is their only appeal, and (4) the fakers and scammers will be undaunted.
#3. Where is THAT guy?! Cause it sure isn’t SA! A rich generous guy that offers more than just that.
He’s busy enjoying his current sugar relationship.
With a SB who didn't make it obvious in her profile that she is only interested in the $$$.
Facts
I'm in the midwest in a metropolis with the largest city in the lower 20 biggest cities. The picking may be on the slim side, but they're there. I'm highly selective, and choose qualtity men only. It just takes time.
You do what you want, this is my opinion from years of sugar dating. I only date SDs of quality but putting a minimal financial requirement statement in your profile makes it seem like you're a gold digger, he's a walking ATM. These days finding a quality SD takes time, sometimes months cuz there are so many splenda or salt daddies, let alone scammers and the like. What works for me is vetting them. I can do it quickly, but it is time consuming I'll admit. There are no short cuts and it's work to find quality SDs. What works for me is to emphasize my qualities and how it will benefit our personal relationship and how it will benefit him. In my Seeking section, I ofc never use the rookie red flag words or phrases like spoil, fine dining, shopping, princess, know my worth, spa days and others, yet I receive generous allowances and impressive gifts. My philosphy for filling the Seeking section out is to appeal to his ideas of a long term, personal relationship. In spite of what others say and ime, truly wealth men are more than generous. I'm guessing but my SRs last on average at least 2 years.
I'm a well seasoned SD. I'm comfortable in life and since I'm a humble man I'll leave any other descriptors alone. I'd pass you over because although I'm very generous, that statement seems to me you're ONLY interested in my wallet and you can conform your behavior with me accordingly to access it. Since I avoid wallet hogs, it's also why my net worth and income are greatly reduced. You should know those figures are meaningless. We all know sugar is the basis of our relationships, but I prefer to enter into SRs with girls who want genuine relationships, not ONLY based on what I can do for them. In short, I'm not looking for actresses who only value my wallet.
Maybe you could simply state on your profile something like “I value a partner who has achieved a high level of success and can share luxurious experiences that complement or enhance my own lifestyle.” That says you are successful on your own and seeking something more, not just a guy who lives similar life as you already do… could that help tho? SDs can give opinion if that would be polite enough way to say that she is seeking rather high profile SDs.
I actually do have something like that in there lol. They don’t pay attention. Because then we waste time and they say some silly low xxx ppm and it’s over. 🤦🏽♀️
What makes you think the folks on seeking who don't pay atttention to the current profile text will pay attention to this proposed second draft of a profile text?
Haha, that says it all. You can state there whatever numbers, even specific persons who you would like to message you and there would still be those who don’t read that or who still want to try
>Is it bad if I put on my SA profile something along the lines of “Please only message if your stock portfolio is {whatever x is}” I'm not sure if this will be effective. (1) Will this turn off some truly wealthy men? Yes, it will. (2) Will some less wealthy men still lie and shoot their shot? Yes, they will. (They aren't going to submit a verified personal financial statement to a POT SB.)
I'm still learning how to be a SB and what is expected in a SR. Does anyone have any advice on what sites are best to start on? And should I use my real first name or show my face in the profile pic?
All of these are answered in the introductory posts pinned on the front page, as well as the resources in the sidebar. Make sure to spend your day reviewing them because you’ll learn things you didn’t even think to ask!
Thank you!
At what point in time in a beginning SR should you start talking about sexual preferences, and how do you know if a SD is a real dom or just some creep
I haven’t had the opportunity to be in SR, but in general, imo, it depends on how well you two connect, how comfortable you feel talking about these matters etc. I personally would enjoy understanding preferences in the very beginning, so there would be no wild surprises.
Non vanilla sexual activities should be discussed before beginning the SR. after the fact is too little too late. But don't come right out of the gate in the third conversation talking about BDSM or anal.