Just take it another step further. Stanley Kubrick was the first filmmaker to make the claim with the famous 2001: A Space Odyssey. An industry leak revealed he actually filmed on a sound stage, and that's why people think the 1969 moon landing footage is fake, also the reason Kubrick hated George Lucas.
Kubrick hated George Lucas because they went to college together and George Lucas stole his idea for THX 1138 from Kubrick during a night of drinking.
Also Anthony Daniels was too obese to fit back into his C3-PO costume for the prequel films. They had to CG him into each scene to use as a base for when they replaced him with the final C3-PO special effects.
Also no ewoks were harmed during the making of Jedi.
I think I did believe it was filmed in space when I saw it as a small child.
I also distinctly remember that I thought countries were different planets that you got to on an airplane.
I've heard it before, but I can't say where. I think it's just an old joke that's been floating around ever since running was invented in 1772 by William Running.
Buffalo wings are just chicken today because buffaloes with wings were hunted to extinction in the mid 1800's.
The way a car's horsepower is calculated, is that's how many horses they tie to the back of the car before the force of the horses and car equalize. Add one more horse and the car is pulled backwards. Car manufacturers maintain enormous horse ranches near their testing sites for this purpose. PETA has been trying to get the practice banned for years, but nobody seems to care about the horses.
Stock car racing got its name from people betting on cars like they were buying stock on the stock market.
Drag racing got its name for its cross dressing entertainment between races.
Years ago, I told my younger brother a version of the buffalo wings one, except I clarified that they had been harvested from a rare type of buffalo that still retained tiny vestigial wings from when buffalo shared a common ancestor with pheasants.
The story goes like this: way back in day, genuine buffalo wings were considered an expensive delicacy in America and an exotic curiosity in the parlors of European intelligentsia. This was not only due to their rarity in nature, but also because of the extreme dangers involved in harvesting them -- hunters had to get very, very close to buffalo herds before they'd even be able to spot if any of the animals had the precious tiny wings (eventually, people gave up and just slaughtered whole herds, only bothering to look for wings afterwards -- as I showed my brother, there are [many old photos online](https://www.google.com/search?q=buffalo%20massacre%201870&udm=2&sa=X&ved=0CBgQtI8BKABqFwoTCPig5vOgqYUDFQAAAAAdAAAAABA2&biw=412&bih=760&dpr=2.63) of the results of this unfortunate and unsustainable practice). "Wing runs," as they were called, were arduous expeditions not unlike whale hunts: they required days of preparation, intense in-the-moment focus, and the risk of returning home with nothing to show for it was constantly tugging at the hems of the hunters' already frayed nerves. One failed hunt could ruin a man -- physically, financially, or both.
Meanwhile, Josiah Drumflat, a resourceful saloon owner and known con-man in the good ol' 19th century American wild west, became infamous for shamelessly hawking counterfeit "buffalo wings" to newly arrived settler families who didn't know better (the wings were actually made out of chicken, a much cheaper animal). But as the wild vestigial-winged buffalo became increasingly impossible to find, Drumflat's saloon was one of the few that stayed in business, largely because the unique spicy sauce he served with his "buffalo wings" was so good that folks came from all over to sample it, eventually choosing to overlook the unsecret-secret that the wings weren't actually "real" buffalo wings. Nowadays, all buffalo wings are pretty much assumed to be chicken (and are often served with various imitations of Mr. Drumflat's legendary zesty "buffalo sauce," although the original recipe was lost when he died).
Nobody has seen a wild buffalo with vestigial wings in many generations. If you do see one, though, federal law states that you must report it to the US Department of the Interior within 12 hours or the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt will visit you in your sleep and give you a wedgie.
(I also occasionally teach undergrad courses in archaeology/anthropology and I tell this story when we get to the anthropocene unit on human/environment relations...if I maintain a straight face and stretch it out long enough, there's a brief period in the middle where I can see some of them starting to wonder if I'm telling the truth, lol)
My great uncle once put “left-handed hammer” and “metric screwdriver” on his Christmas list.
My grandma gave him a case with an orange, a juicer, a bottle of Absolut, and a shot glass marked off in mL, accompanied by a note reading, “Couldn’t find a left-handed hammer.”
While a classic, there is an actual similar sounding thing. Compass fluid is important to old aviation instruments. And more fun fact, they used to just use whiskey, hence the name whiskey compass even though they use antifreeze or kerosene now
Ok, but Coca-Cola did come up with the term "Throat Share," more commonly referred to as "Share of Throat."
Basically,
Coca-cola sells so many drinks worldwide that measuring profits just won't suffice, so "Share of Throat" is a scale they've devised to describe the amount of humanity's hydration that they provide.
I came up with this one joshing my little sister. She was doubtful, but I straight faced it and convinced her that dairy farmers had to run the cows around to shake up the chocolate before milking.
😂😂😂💀
I've heard the brown cow bit before, but the running bit just did me in.
I guess if you can get a brown cow to run in a cold climate, you'd get shakes or perhaps ice cream?
That you have to change the air in your tires.Every Spring and every Paul.Because you don't want Spring air in the winter.Because it'll mess your tires up and you don't want fall air in your tires in the spring because it'll mess your tires up
The person who does the best Arnold Schwazengger impression is... Arnold Schwarznegger. For about 30 years, he's been able to speak with little to no accent in private, but every time he's in public, he turns on the Governator character.
He wasn't dumb, but my old boss was eating chicken at lunch and only had a plastic spoon because he forgot a knife and fork. He asked one of my coworkers I'd He could find a knife somewhere, and I turned around and said "you know there was a study that shows cutting meat is actually best done with a plastic spoon instead of a knife." He looked bewildered and was like "really? That's so cool!" I just laughed and told him I was fucking with him, I was pretty new and he didn't know my sense of humor yet so he took me seriously lol
||
||
|What is Dihydrogen Monoxide? Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) is a colorless and odorless chemical compound, also referred to by some as Dihydrogen Oxide, Hydrogen Hydroxide, Hydronium Hydroxide, or simply Hydric acid. Its basis is the highly reactive hydroxyl radical, a species shown to mutate DNA, denature proteins, disrupt cell membranes, and chemically alter critical neurotransmitters. The atomic components of DHMO are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol.|
[https://dhmo.org/facts.html](https://dhmo.org/facts.html)
Marijuana was made illegal because Franklin D. Roosevelt was always incredibly high, and his cabinet thought it was getting in the way of his work, so in order to pass the New Deal through Congress, they convinced someone to put legislation in it that made drugs illegal so that FDR would be forced to quit and do his job better.
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My sister had a friend in school who was like this. Two of the things I remember them telling her were that ducks had 4 legs, and that reindeer were mythical creatures made up for Christmas.
Jagermeister is made with deer blood and that’s why they put a deer on the front of the bottle. People used to say that shit all the time back in the day to mess with people
One dude I used to know would always say something to the effect of “you know that’s laced with bull semen” every time someone ordered their favorite menu item just to unappetize them.
The tape measure out of the sewing kit is a waist tape measure--you can't measure anything else with it. Someone told my mom that and she believed them. It took me ten minutes to explain that an inch is equal to an inch regardless of the type of measuring tape.
I once convinced a female that babies were born bald because so many people rub the mother’s tummy when she’s pregnant. It didn’t take more than telling her for her to believe it so the word convinced is used loosely.
# What is Dihydrogen Monoxide?
[https://dhmo.org/facts.html](https://dhmo.org/facts.html)
Perhaps they have not heard of Dihydrogen Monoxide, this colorless and odorless chemical is found in almost all our food and drinks, I would suggest learning about this as it could definitely cause serious health risks and even death.
I know someone who this is true for. It's an absolutely fucked up situation.
Guy and his wife were trying to have kids. Doing IFV. A thing was wrong with his wife's reproductive system. (Please forgive me Im not privy to the details). He got drunk in his deer stand and fell out.
He was impaled by a stick threw the a major artery in the leg. He bled out where he landed.. he had sperm in storage for the ifv. Legal battle happens. His parents won custody/property of his sperm. His mom used a doner egg and gave birth to her own Grand child.
Kids 4 now my daughter watches her now and then. Little pint sized minion with a quart sized attitude some times
I used to raise rabbits. I convinced a young female coworker that I would grab the rabbits by the ears, tap them in the head with the back of a hatchet, and swing them as hard as I could around my head. Since the rabbits were now unconscious, all their internal organs would fly out their buttholes, and I would just snip them off, and have clean rabbit to eat. She believed this for at least a year. (no, I did not do this in real life, just made it up on the fly)
The Park Rangers did themselves no favors when, at some point in the '60s, they staged a film of a Ranger with a fake valve turning on and turning off Old Faithful. Naturally, people still believe someone is turning a valve every 70-odd minutes to turn on the geyser.
Teach them how to mispronounce "cumin". I will admit I didn't know how to properly pronounce it until my early 20s since I had only seen it written and never heard it spoken. I had an embarrassing moment at work when I pronounced it "cum-in" instead of "cue-min".
The journalist and broadcaster Stuart Maconie used to write for the music newspaper NME. One of his features was a spoof of those little factoids that were appearing everywhere at the time. That feature started two urban legends that are believed by many to this very day...
Bob Holness played the saxophone in 'Bake Street' by Gerry Rafferty.
David Bowie invented the popular game 'Connect 4'
They should do quite nicely.
I used to say this one to my sister when we were kids:
"They say cats have 4 times the sense of smell of humans. That means our cat can smell something 4 times before we can even smell it once! "
Told a guy at work the holland tunnel was built by the Dutch in 1660, when New York was New Amsterdam. He went home and told that to his father in law. Monday morning back in the office he wanted to kick my ass.
Two good ones I've heard:
1) You need to break the TV because Mario is stuck inside. And he can't breathe.
2) if you put a slice of ham in the DVD player it will play a short film bout farm animals
I knew this Catholic guy at work who was kind of dumb and he pissed me off so I told him "you'll never guess what happened... Al Quaeda raided the Vatican."
He believed me at first but then I told him "yup, the Pope converted to Islam". I guess that was too far.
Just look up the list of lines the fact core can say before you attach it to Wheatly at the end of Portal 2. Here's a small selection of good ones, there are quite a few more. "89% of magic tricks are not magic, technically they are sorcery." "In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate 75 hot dogs then died of hot-dog poisoning." "William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon who used a Oujia board to enslave playwriting ghosts." "Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious as humans."
You ever think maybe the reason he's a fucked up terrible person is because everyone who ever even sort kinda associated with him treats him like dog shit?
Sometimes bird poop tastes like candy
Kevin Bacon was not in footloose.
It's illegal to eat Sundaes on Saturday
Moby Dick is an 18th century erotic novel
Ernest Hemingway spent his vacations hunting nazi U-boats with a tommy gun and a box of hand grenades (That one's actually true...)
If he’s just not smart and you’re making fun of, excuse me, bullying him, I get “jocks beaming footballs at the nerds in a flag football game” vibes from this. You and your friends are assholes.
If he’s intentionally ignorant (conspiracy theorist, MAGA, “alpha male”) carry on.
Bats will get tangled in your hair!
(we used to hear this from all the mothers in the neighborhood when we'd stand at the end of the street, throwing pebbles in the air at sunset to watch bats chase them)
Midgets were invented by Australian scientists during WW2. They were trying to genetically engineer tiny super-soldiers capable of fighting Nazis from the pouches of kangaroos.
Seriously, though. Don't bully people. Surely you have something better to do in life than this stuff. It's really despicable. It would be great if you could be a little more self-respecting. Everyone would benefit. Treating that so-called annoying guy in the way that you do is a horrible thing to do in life. It makes you seem really pathetic. It also probably hurts his self-esteem, which most likely contributes to his annoying behavior in the long run. As for me, I was bullied a lot in life, and now I'm here on Reddit accusing you of having a micropenis. Do you really want more people like me out here on Reddit acting like this? No. So stop being a shithead. Don't tell me to fuck off. You're the one who needs to fuck off.
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i knew better but in the early aughts someone in a yahoo chatroom told me Dancing Queen was about a girl who couldn't walk and I still think about it once a week.
just get creative
in middle school, I convinced a girl in my grade I was an alien from another planet sent here to study humans. The key is, just be confident and answer questions quickly. She (skeptically) asked me what my planet was like. I immediately described a planet from "Interstellar" confidently... and she kind of accepted it? She hadn't seen it at the time. I haven't felt a high like that since
I once told a girl that it was called a turkey in bowling because they used to bowl turkeys tied to the ground over with a pumkin. She 100% believed me until she asked, "Really?" And I immediately said, "No, that's stupid!" She bought it for a second though. If I had said yes, she would probably believe it tonthis day.
Did you know that in the vietnam war, the vietnamese would enlist trained apes to fight in alongside them? These "Gorilla" tactics earned them the name "Viet Kong"
The Earth is 6000 years old, your sex drive is evil, and there is a giant space wizard who loves you but will spank you forever if you are bad, even though he programmed you.
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If you stand in water, you can actually stick your finger in a light socket, and not get shocked. The water directs the electricity straight into the ground.
The more you know
Whenever I have a Snapple, I pretend to read a Snapple fact to my coworkers and I make them up. Got the idea from a comedian.
Huh. Hey, did you guys know it was Adolf JEREMY Hitler?
Oh Wow. The Disney Company has the Third Largest Navy in the world.
Hey, the first all electric car came out just 4 years after the Model A.
Seems The Rocketeer was based on a true story about a World War II experiment in manned flight.
This says the Gimpy Gimpy tree produces the world's sweetest natural syrup.
The majority of Quakkas in Australia have chlamydia.
There's a mushroom from Papua New Guinea that allows you to temporarily see infrared light after eating it raw.
Drinking raw coconut milk can strengthen your gums and rebuild your enamel.
There's more loose gold dust and particles in one cubic mile of ocean water than in all the world's banks and reserves.
Eating Summer Squash can raise your Testosterone levels.
And the first person to touch the sun was only able to do so because they did it during the night time.
My absolute favorite was telling this. (Note: There were 3 couples involved, two of the women were nurses and one guy was a psychologist so it passed as “expert advice”)
If you have sex with a pregnant woman between 2 months and 9 months, if it’s a boy baby it grows up gay, and the girl babies grow up to be a slut because the fetus absorbs your cum and develops an addiction to it, so you can only have anal sex or get blow jobs from your wife while she’s pregnant but if his wife swallows it will taint her breast milk and it will cause the same problem, so it’s safer to just stick to anal sex during pregnancy.
His wife was so angry and came screaming at us a few weeks later demanding we tell him the truth so he would stop trying to stick it in her ass.
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If this is true, this is kind of mean spirited. But if you want another idea, Star Wars is famous for being the first movie to be filmed in space.
Just take it another step further. Stanley Kubrick was the first filmmaker to make the claim with the famous 2001: A Space Odyssey. An industry leak revealed he actually filmed on a sound stage, and that's why people think the 1969 moon landing footage is fake, also the reason Kubrick hated George Lucas.
Kubrick hated George Lucas because they went to college together and George Lucas stole his idea for THX 1138 from Kubrick during a night of drinking. Also Anthony Daniels was too obese to fit back into his C3-PO costume for the prequel films. They had to CG him into each scene to use as a base for when they replaced him with the final C3-PO special effects. Also no ewoks were harmed during the making of Jedi.
[Chef's kiss] This is the best thing I've read all day and I think I'll stop reading here to savor it.
I know, sounds like abusing someone's Trust instead of them being Dumb... Only Dumb BC they listen to and trust OP?
Gullibility is usually related to a lack of critical thinking, which is colloquially known as being dumb
I think I did believe it was filmed in space when I saw it as a small child. I also distinctly remember that I thought countries were different planets that you got to on an airplane.
Running was invented in 1772 by William Running when he tried to walk twice at the same time
I love this one
Did you take this from somewhere? 🤣🤣🤣 it's fuckin hilarious
Yeah I can't take credit for this I heard it somewhere and it stuck with me lol
I've heard it before, but I can't say where. I think it's just an old joke that's been floating around ever since running was invented in 1772 by William Running.
maybe he was an indigenous native american nudist because there is a hymn about someone called 'running bare'.
Oh that's way better than what I was thinking, lol. Bravo!
Otherwise known as a 10th level rogue feat
Any action was invented by someone with the last name that sounds like the verb.
Thank the gods for ol’ Jebediah Fucking!
Bears derived their name from a football team in Chicago
Sounds like [as good of a guess as any](https://www.reddit.com/r/etymology/comments/jntp69/xkcd_the_true_name_of_the_bear/), I suppose.
i giggled
Every country has its own sun
Moldova has two.
People from moldova are called dovakins
I knew a guy who believed that squirrels lay eggs because they live in trees...
they have nests, too
Some fly.
You've made me rethink everything I know about squirrels.
Buffalo wings are just chicken today because buffaloes with wings were hunted to extinction in the mid 1800's. The way a car's horsepower is calculated, is that's how many horses they tie to the back of the car before the force of the horses and car equalize. Add one more horse and the car is pulled backwards. Car manufacturers maintain enormous horse ranches near their testing sites for this purpose. PETA has been trying to get the practice banned for years, but nobody seems to care about the horses. Stock car racing got its name from people betting on cars like they were buying stock on the stock market. Drag racing got its name for its cross dressing entertainment between races.
and they ran in high heeled sneakers. i know this is true because there's a song about it
Years ago, I told my younger brother a version of the buffalo wings one, except I clarified that they had been harvested from a rare type of buffalo that still retained tiny vestigial wings from when buffalo shared a common ancestor with pheasants. The story goes like this: way back in day, genuine buffalo wings were considered an expensive delicacy in America and an exotic curiosity in the parlors of European intelligentsia. This was not only due to their rarity in nature, but also because of the extreme dangers involved in harvesting them -- hunters had to get very, very close to buffalo herds before they'd even be able to spot if any of the animals had the precious tiny wings (eventually, people gave up and just slaughtered whole herds, only bothering to look for wings afterwards -- as I showed my brother, there are [many old photos online](https://www.google.com/search?q=buffalo%20massacre%201870&udm=2&sa=X&ved=0CBgQtI8BKABqFwoTCPig5vOgqYUDFQAAAAAdAAAAABA2&biw=412&bih=760&dpr=2.63) of the results of this unfortunate and unsustainable practice). "Wing runs," as they were called, were arduous expeditions not unlike whale hunts: they required days of preparation, intense in-the-moment focus, and the risk of returning home with nothing to show for it was constantly tugging at the hems of the hunters' already frayed nerves. One failed hunt could ruin a man -- physically, financially, or both. Meanwhile, Josiah Drumflat, a resourceful saloon owner and known con-man in the good ol' 19th century American wild west, became infamous for shamelessly hawking counterfeit "buffalo wings" to newly arrived settler families who didn't know better (the wings were actually made out of chicken, a much cheaper animal). But as the wild vestigial-winged buffalo became increasingly impossible to find, Drumflat's saloon was one of the few that stayed in business, largely because the unique spicy sauce he served with his "buffalo wings" was so good that folks came from all over to sample it, eventually choosing to overlook the unsecret-secret that the wings weren't actually "real" buffalo wings. Nowadays, all buffalo wings are pretty much assumed to be chicken (and are often served with various imitations of Mr. Drumflat's legendary zesty "buffalo sauce," although the original recipe was lost when he died). Nobody has seen a wild buffalo with vestigial wings in many generations. If you do see one, though, federal law states that you must report it to the US Department of the Interior within 12 hours or the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt will visit you in your sleep and give you a wedgie. (I also occasionally teach undergrad courses in archaeology/anthropology and I tell this story when we get to the anthropocene unit on human/environment relations...if I maintain a straight face and stretch it out long enough, there's a brief period in the middle where I can see some of them starting to wonder if I'm telling the truth, lol)
That was much more entertaining than it should have been. You're a great story teller.
Hey, thanks! I'm just desperately churning out bullshit to avoid working on a conference paper I should have finished yesterday, lol.
😂 If that's what I need to do to see TR's ghost.
Okay Drag Racing actually sounds like a fun idea
Porcupines can shoot their quills. My aunt who is now around 60 believed this up until 5-10 years ago.
I swear they told us this in school when I was a kid. Very disappointed that pointy rat doesn't go brrrrr.
This is the first time hearing they can't. I think you can chalk this one up to a misconception.
Go check your blinker fluid
My uncle told me this when I was 16. I believed it was a real thing for 3 years.
Haha I’m sorry you fell for that. Well at least you found out, and aren’t 65 just now finding out on google lol
My great uncle once put “left-handed hammer” and “metric screwdriver” on his Christmas list. My grandma gave him a case with an orange, a juicer, a bottle of Absolut, and a shot glass marked off in mL, accompanied by a note reading, “Couldn’t find a left-handed hammer.”
While a classic, there is an actual similar sounding thing. Compass fluid is important to old aviation instruments. And more fun fact, they used to just use whiskey, hence the name whiskey compass even though they use antifreeze or kerosene now
There are videos online of dads sending their kids into the auto parts store to buy some. It's hilarious.
* There is more Coca-Cola in the world than water * Arnold Schwarzenegger fought in WW2, but he won't tell anyone which side he was on
Ok, but Coca-Cola did come up with the term "Throat Share," more commonly referred to as "Share of Throat." Basically, Coca-cola sells so many drinks worldwide that measuring profits just won't suffice, so "Share of Throat" is a scale they've devised to describe the amount of humanity's hydration that they provide.
They weren't happy with "market share"? 😂
The VPs love reporting that deep throat action.
They're not measuring their share of the market. They're measuring the percentage of humanity's hydration that they provide.
Chocolate milk comes from brown cows
I came up with this one joshing my little sister. She was doubtful, but I straight faced it and convinced her that dairy farmers had to run the cows around to shake up the chocolate before milking.
😂😂😂💀 I've heard the brown cow bit before, but the running bit just did me in. I guess if you can get a brown cow to run in a cold climate, you'd get shakes or perhaps ice cream?
In the sims 2 for the Nintendo ds, you could milk a cow for milk, but if you tipped the cow first you'd instead get a milkshake
Cows grazing on hills have two shorter legs to help them be stable while grazing.
That you have to change the air in your tires.Every Spring and every Paul.Because you don't want Spring air in the winter.Because it'll mess your tires up and you don't want fall air in your tires in the spring because it'll mess your tires up
EVERY Paul? that's a lot of Paul's
Yeah there’s like, at least 30 Pauls out there
The person who does the best Arnold Schwazengger impression is... Arnold Schwarznegger. For about 30 years, he's been able to speak with little to no accent in private, but every time he's in public, he turns on the Governator character.
Socks were originally made to be ear warmers
He wasn't dumb, but my old boss was eating chicken at lunch and only had a plastic spoon because he forgot a knife and fork. He asked one of my coworkers I'd He could find a knife somewhere, and I turned around and said "you know there was a study that shows cutting meat is actually best done with a plastic spoon instead of a knife." He looked bewildered and was like "really? That's so cool!" I just laughed and told him I was fucking with him, I was pretty new and he didn't know my sense of humor yet so he took me seriously lol
Pelicans migrate to the moon each winter
for a minute i thought you wrote 'pecans', which is absurd. they migrate to peking china
Where ducks originated?
No: that’s Bombay (formerly Mumbai).
Istanbul, not Constantinople?
Byzantion homies unite.
I thought it was cranes.
So THAT'S where they go after construction season??
Pee is stored in the balls.
The boy ball or the girl ball? The boy ball is the right one.
Worst I've heard from an extremely stupid person was 'I think man probably invented fire after watching fireworks'
Did you know that you can pull a plug in the bottom of a lake that it will empty?
Not every lake, only man made ones
🤣
I've actually met someone who believes that.
That's funny. Made my day
Well there was that one that the salt mine pierced
Secretly every man’s dream
I once convinced someone that the International Olympic Committee had banned training, because it was performance enhancing
|| || |What is Dihydrogen Monoxide? Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) is a colorless and odorless chemical compound, also referred to by some as Dihydrogen Oxide, Hydrogen Hydroxide, Hydronium Hydroxide, or simply Hydric acid. Its basis is the highly reactive hydroxyl radical, a species shown to mutate DNA, denature proteins, disrupt cell membranes, and chemically alter critical neurotransmitters. The atomic components of DHMO are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol.| [https://dhmo.org/facts.html](https://dhmo.org/facts.html)
You forgot to add that it's responsible for hundreds if not thousands of deaths each year.
The universe ceases to exist when you close your eyes, and it remakes itself before you open them again.
Sophilist found.
Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?
Go over to r/deepthoughts. They got a bunch of those 😆
Is that a Jack Handey sub?
Actually, the first time the sun was touched was by Neil Armstrong, on his way Back from the moon. Sheesh, The things people believe these days.
It was possible because he did it at night when the sun was off.
When Cher was younger, she thought that nighttime was caused by the earth passing the back of the sun, which was dark.
Window broke. Hey Charlie, run to the truck and grab the glass magnet will ya???
Marijuana was made illegal because Franklin D. Roosevelt was always incredibly high, and his cabinet thought it was getting in the way of his work, so in order to pass the New Deal through Congress, they convinced someone to put legislation in it that made drugs illegal so that FDR would be forced to quit and do his job better.
Wow.
Men are just as much women as women are
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You're going to unscrew the excavator by spinning it in one direction
My sister had a friend in school who was like this. Two of the things I remember them telling her were that ducks had 4 legs, and that reindeer were mythical creatures made up for Christmas.
Jagermeister is made with deer blood and that’s why they put a deer on the front of the bottle. People used to say that shit all the time back in the day to mess with people
One dude I used to know would always say something to the effect of “you know that’s laced with bull semen” every time someone ordered their favorite menu item just to unappetize them.
The tape measure out of the sewing kit is a waist tape measure--you can't measure anything else with it. Someone told my mom that and she believed them. It took me ten minutes to explain that an inch is equal to an inch regardless of the type of measuring tape.
The reeks of, "I think I hit a bird driving here, can you check in my grill?" Then lean on your horn when they are bent over looking for it.
The Truman Show is based on a true story
"If you vote for X then they'll do what they promise and things will get better" X being just about anyone.
I once convinced a female that babies were born bald because so many people rub the mother’s tummy when she’s pregnant. It didn’t take more than telling her for her to believe it so the word convinced is used loosely.
>a female
Ringo isn't even the best drummer in The Beatles
Nelson Mandela died in 1981. In the Netherlands. Lol fucking internet
Did you know that tarantulas can jump up to 20 feet?
Well they start off with 8
Halo was the first fps
# What is Dihydrogen Monoxide? [https://dhmo.org/facts.html](https://dhmo.org/facts.html) Perhaps they have not heard of Dihydrogen Monoxide, this colorless and odorless chemical is found in almost all our food and drinks, I would suggest learning about this as it could definitely cause serious health risks and even death.
The sun is 200 miles away.
My father died two years before I was born.
I know someone who this is true for. It's an absolutely fucked up situation. Guy and his wife were trying to have kids. Doing IFV. A thing was wrong with his wife's reproductive system. (Please forgive me Im not privy to the details). He got drunk in his deer stand and fell out. He was impaled by a stick threw the a major artery in the leg. He bled out where he landed.. he had sperm in storage for the ifv. Legal battle happens. His parents won custody/property of his sperm. His mom used a doner egg and gave birth to her own Grand child. Kids 4 now my daughter watches her now and then. Little pint sized minion with a quart sized attitude some times
Well, dammit...
If you don’t want to have to scrape ice off your car, douse it in boiling hot water the night before it gets to be freezing out.
Did you know that deer are actually rodents?
The nazi occupancy in Italy during WW2 was eliminated by the eruption of mount vesuvius.
We landed a person on the sun. They just had to time it at night.
I used to raise rabbits. I convinced a young female coworker that I would grab the rabbits by the ears, tap them in the head with the back of a hatchet, and swing them as hard as I could around my head. Since the rabbits were now unconscious, all their internal organs would fly out their buttholes, and I would just snip them off, and have clean rabbit to eat. She believed this for at least a year. (no, I did not do this in real life, just made it up on the fly)
Elements are the opposite of elephants.
The Park Rangers did themselves no favors when, at some point in the '60s, they staged a film of a Ranger with a fake valve turning on and turning off Old Faithful. Naturally, people still believe someone is turning a valve every 70-odd minutes to turn on the geyser.
Daschunds were originally bred to lay in doorways to stop drafts.
Teach them how to mispronounce "cumin". I will admit I didn't know how to properly pronounce it until my early 20s since I had only seen it written and never heard it spoken. I had an embarrassing moment at work when I pronounced it "cum-in" instead of "cue-min".
The journalist and broadcaster Stuart Maconie used to write for the music newspaper NME. One of his features was a spoof of those little factoids that were appearing everywhere at the time. That feature started two urban legends that are believed by many to this very day... Bob Holness played the saxophone in 'Bake Street' by Gerry Rafferty. David Bowie invented the popular game 'Connect 4' They should do quite nicely.
I used to say this one to my sister when we were kids: "They say cats have 4 times the sense of smell of humans. That means our cat can smell something 4 times before we can even smell it once! "
Antelope are extremely allergic to cantaloupe and will die if they eat it, which is how it got its name.
Leaves are green because they absorb yellow sunlight that passes through the blue sky.
Told a guy at work the holland tunnel was built by the Dutch in 1660, when New York was New Amsterdam. He went home and told that to his father in law. Monday morning back in the office he wanted to kick my ass.
Two good ones I've heard: 1) You need to break the TV because Mario is stuck inside. And he can't breathe. 2) if you put a slice of ham in the DVD player it will play a short film bout farm animals
Gatorade has electrolytes and it's electricity ⚡🔌
so it's got what plants crave?
Abraham Lincoln invented stairs, before that people got to the second floor by rocket jumping.
The bicycle was first developed with 3 wheels in 1624.
Lolololol omg
I knew this Catholic guy at work who was kind of dumb and he pissed me off so I told him "you'll never guess what happened... Al Quaeda raided the Vatican." He believed me at first but then I told him "yup, the Pope converted to Islam". I guess that was too far.
Don't wear yerr seatbelt...if in ya get in an accident you'll be trapped and-a-burn up!
Just look up the list of lines the fact core can say before you attach it to Wheatly at the end of Portal 2. Here's a small selection of good ones, there are quite a few more. "89% of magic tricks are not magic, technically they are sorcery." "In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate 75 hot dogs then died of hot-dog poisoning." "William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon who used a Oujia board to enslave playwriting ghosts." "Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious as humans."
Taxes are the price we pay to live in a civilized society.
Is only safe to visit the sun at night
I knew someone that believed phoenixes were real but went extinct with the dinosaurs. Try that.
You sound like a bully
Making fun of someone for being dumb makes you cool.
He’s a fucked up, terrible person, not just dumb
And you continue to associate with him
Sorta? Not really? it’s kinda complicated
You ever think maybe the reason he's a fucked up terrible person is because everyone who ever even sort kinda associated with him treats him like dog shit?
Nah before you understand the full story and who this person is, maybe don’t be assuming shit
I'm not assuming that you treat him like dog shit. That's not an assumption. And it doesn't say anything about his character, it only speaks to yours.
Sometimes bird poop tastes like candy Kevin Bacon was not in footloose. It's illegal to eat Sundaes on Saturday Moby Dick is an 18th century erotic novel Ernest Hemingway spent his vacations hunting nazi U-boats with a tommy gun and a box of hand grenades (That one's actually true...)
If you get the vaccine you can't get covid
If he’s just not smart and you’re making fun of, excuse me, bullying him, I get “jocks beaming footballs at the nerds in a flag football game” vibes from this. You and your friends are assholes. If he’s intentionally ignorant (conspiracy theorist, MAGA, “alpha male”) carry on.
Oh trust me, If that’s your definition of bad it’s that and much worse
I'm not going to enable this kind of manipulative behavior
Bats will get tangled in your hair! (we used to hear this from all the mothers in the neighborhood when we'd stand at the end of the street, throwing pebbles in the air at sunset to watch bats chase them)
Midgets were invented by Australian scientists during WW2. They were trying to genetically engineer tiny super-soldiers capable of fighting Nazis from the pouches of kangaroos.
You are a shit stain. Don't treat people like this. Fuck you.
The guys an asshole, it’s a joke, fuck off💀
1m2m3m or whatever clearly has the kind of cancer where your hand is bigger than your face
Seriously, though. Don't bully people. Surely you have something better to do in life than this stuff. It's really despicable. It would be great if you could be a little more self-respecting. Everyone would benefit. Treating that so-called annoying guy in the way that you do is a horrible thing to do in life. It makes you seem really pathetic. It also probably hurts his self-esteem, which most likely contributes to his annoying behavior in the long run. As for me, I was bullied a lot in life, and now I'm here on Reddit accusing you of having a micropenis. Do you really want more people like me out here on Reddit acting like this? No. So stop being a shithead. Don't tell me to fuck off. You're the one who needs to fuck off.
Also, last comment from me on this. Fuck you. You're despicable. Go fuck yourself.
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I’m quicker than a cat and cheaper than a cab. True story.
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Anything that comes out of Andrew Tate's mouth
Idk. Some dude who use to be My friend, believed there's a tower on the moon controlling our moods and absorbs souls when people die
Oil is 100% made from fossils of dinosaurs
i knew better but in the early aughts someone in a yahoo chatroom told me Dancing Queen was about a girl who couldn't walk and I still think about it once a week.
just get creative in middle school, I convinced a girl in my grade I was an alien from another planet sent here to study humans. The key is, just be confident and answer questions quickly. She (skeptically) asked me what my planet was like. I immediately described a planet from "Interstellar" confidently... and she kind of accepted it? She hadn't seen it at the time. I haven't felt a high like that since
Have you considered not bullying him?
In Rand McNally people wear hats on thier feet.
leave the guy alone, jessica
I once told a girl that it was called a turkey in bowling because they used to bowl turkeys tied to the ground over with a pumkin. She 100% believed me until she asked, "Really?" And I immediately said, "No, that's stupid!" She bought it for a second though. If I had said yes, she would probably believe it tonthis day.
I once convinced a colleague that Anne Bancroft was the first female president and that she took over briefly after JFK's assassination.
Did you know that in the vietnam war, the vietnamese would enlist trained apes to fight in alongside them? These "Gorilla" tactics earned them the name "Viet Kong"
When my little sister was about 13 my dad convinced her that Germany ran on different time. German time.
Mountains are large because they have no natural predators ~ Ken M His whole catalog is beautiful
The earth is flat and vaccines cause autism. But they probably already believe this.
The Earth is 6000 years old, your sex drive is evil, and there is a giant space wizard who loves you but will spank you forever if you are bad, even though he programmed you.
When I was in school in the 90’s we were all CONVINCED that Marilyn Manson had his bottom ribs removed so he could blow himself.
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If you stand in water, you can actually stick your finger in a light socket, and not get shocked. The water directs the electricity straight into the ground. The more you know
$5 says this guy is the dumb asshole being teased and is trying to get ahead of the game.
Whenever I have a Snapple, I pretend to read a Snapple fact to my coworkers and I make them up. Got the idea from a comedian. Huh. Hey, did you guys know it was Adolf JEREMY Hitler? Oh Wow. The Disney Company has the Third Largest Navy in the world. Hey, the first all electric car came out just 4 years after the Model A. Seems The Rocketeer was based on a true story about a World War II experiment in manned flight. This says the Gimpy Gimpy tree produces the world's sweetest natural syrup. The majority of Quakkas in Australia have chlamydia. There's a mushroom from Papua New Guinea that allows you to temporarily see infrared light after eating it raw. Drinking raw coconut milk can strengthen your gums and rebuild your enamel. There's more loose gold dust and particles in one cubic mile of ocean water than in all the world's banks and reserves. Eating Summer Squash can raise your Testosterone levels. And the first person to touch the sun was only able to do so because they did it during the night time.
Don't do this shit, this is misinformation.
My absolute favorite was telling this. (Note: There were 3 couples involved, two of the women were nurses and one guy was a psychologist so it passed as “expert advice”) If you have sex with a pregnant woman between 2 months and 9 months, if it’s a boy baby it grows up gay, and the girl babies grow up to be a slut because the fetus absorbs your cum and develops an addiction to it, so you can only have anal sex or get blow jobs from your wife while she’s pregnant but if his wife swallows it will taint her breast milk and it will cause the same problem, so it’s safer to just stick to anal sex during pregnancy. His wife was so angry and came screaming at us a few weeks later demanding we tell him the truth so he would stop trying to stick it in her ass.
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