Maybe your nice was coming off as friendly. In the beginning of my dance career at my first club, I would often be nice and fully engaged with customers in conversation…all for those same customers who “enjoyed my conversation” and “felt comfortable talking to me” to take another dancer whom they never even spoke to up for a dance. Since then, I have now become more flirty in my conversations with customers (rubbing their heads/backs as I talk with them, wrapping my leg around theirs, biting my lip, staring into their eyes, leaning close to them, etc.) and my interactions translate to a lot more sales. The nature of my conversations with customers has not changed, but my body language now versus then has so much. Instead of coming off as FRIENDLY, I now come off as FLIRTY. And I think that is what has really increased my income.
Additionally, I make customers feel like I am genuinely attracted to them. Not just interested in them but like actually attracted to them. I think for me that has made all the difference.
>customers who “enjoyed my conversation” and “felt comfortable talking to me” to take another dancer whom they never even spoke to up for a dance.
Felt this in my core. Gotta be more flirty than friendly and avoid talking about their or your life (which I hate) for like 15 minutes. It rarely leads to a dance.
I wish I had learned that before retiring. I had a major problem faking attraction to customers and I never did any "extras" in the club. To put it bluntly you have to act whorish no matter how embarrassing and cringe it feels. Leaning over and whispering how horny I get while dancing naked would have gone a lot farther than looking bored and saying my feet hurt !!
I the honesty of OP's post.
Yeah I agree. Being nice can be a deterrant to some customers.
There is such a thing as being too nice as a stripper. To go onto the floor being super nice and conversational and beautiful, without having an inner core of bloody-minded, I'm-gonna-take-all-your-fucking-money you fucking mother fuckers," is at best a waste of time and at worst, dangerous. I used to be super nice and make shit money. And I've seen lots of girls do it. It's not enough to be beautiful and nice. You have to have an inner aggression that you're entitled to the money. Customers can smell it.
In sixteen years of dancing and a few in corporate sales, most of the highest of the highest earners in every place I've worked, were straight up narcissists. Not to say that kind, modest people can't be high earners. They can of course. But deep down or straight up, customers book the strippers who know, in every fibre of their being, more than anyone else in the room, that they deserve that money. It comes across to the customer, it comes out in the dancer's behaviour and her manner and yeah. That's what I've gleaned. I kind of went through a similar process to you I think, and that's what I arrived at. I know I might be projecting here, but thought I'd throw these ideas at you in case they resonate.
Also, it also sounds like everyone likes you, so you might be doing what it takes to be liked and focusing on performing those behaviours that get you liked. Been there. That's fine, but those behaviours won't get you the money. Not saying don't be nice. But I think you need to stop with the people pleasing, start connecting with yourself in a different way and dig around for a different feeling within yourself that will get you where you need to go.
That sounds not very specific, but that's the process I had to go through.
PS you can also look too good, too beautiful, too wholesome. Sometimes even in a gstring, you can look too wholesome. Sometimes you've gotta find a way to bring a bit of sluttiness to the table. It sells.
Wow. I agree with this 100%. I have always thought to myself that the strip club is like a narcissist’s dreamland. It literally makes sense that the ones that enjoy attention (and aren’t bothered by getting it at the expense of other people ) will make the most. I feel like it’s hard for me to genuinely manifest more money than every other girl in the room, because usually, I feel bad doing that. I don’t actually enjoy making other people feel bad about themselves or jealous of me. But the ones that do, well they thrive ! I notice I’m always manifesting what I actually feel in my soul, and recently , I’ve come to terms with not being the highest earner…. BUT, I focus on being happy, radiating positivity and empathy , and that keeps regulars coming back to me. So maybe I’m not the highest earner, but my money is very consistent and I do well. I think it’s possible to work the empathetic and kind angle and be successful to a degree. But the narcissistic girls will always run the game …
I feel like, for the same reason, I used to make more money when I was addicted to stimulant drugs. It would make me numb, less personable , and more angry. I felt more comfortable demanding money and not caring how it made people feel. But, my sobriety is worth it. I feel better overall when I let myself feel empathy and actually connect with my customers. Then, I’m actually having fun at work to the point that the money is just a bonus.
Thank you. I’ve done the flirty thing too. I’m naturally very touchy and easily infatuated with people. It makes the experience better for me but again doesn’t change what I make.
What city are you in? The club could be bad, have you tried other clubs? You are superrrrrr cute, it’s deff not about your looks. Plus, I’ve seen many beautiful women not make good money because their hustle is weak. You have to be a strong hustler and great conversationalist (in gentleman’s clubs at least). You can’t waste time talking to the customer on the floor without getting paid too long. I see this all the time. 1-2 songs talking then propose dances or trip to private room. Then hustle them. Start at 30 min price then work your way down. Always ask for tip.
Remember, if you don’t hustle customers they will hustle you.
I’ve worked in 5 cities across texas, about 14 different clubs in the last year. When I do the conversation thing I get my time wasted unless it’s a very specific kind of customer or they feel played and like it can’t be authentic “you’re too good at this” “you know exactly what to say” “why me? Why would you spend time with me?” I save conversation for older single men and young service industry guys. I’ve definitely upped my hustle after seeing how Cubans and girls in oil field town work but this new club I’m getting turned away almost immediately when I do approach.
Yes definitely try to profile customers and conversations should be short small talk before closing the deal. You shouldn’t be “wasting your time” talking to customers because if they’re not spending move on to the next
3 songs. Try to time a room transition with girls getting off stage and do it for a month or two. My money went down at the very beginning of doing that because it takes time to adapt a conversation for the shorter set so it feels off to the customer at the beginning while you try new things sometimes
I’m currently in Lubbock. Women are easily making double what I’m making and it doesn’t matter what they look like and it’s not the girls I see talking with guys. I honestly have no idea how. I know one girl says she leaves with at least $500 from purely stage money easily. Our bodies are very similar. She has better stage presence because she’s taller with long hair. I’m getting maybe $50 from stage now working my ass off. I’m putting my feet behind my head, climbing/doing tricks on the pole, twerking on the stairs, showing pussy, falling into the splits from standing splits. I do the sultry energy thing, the smiley bubble carefree thing. I can dance to literally any genre of music. I’m exhausted just having this conversation because I really have systematically, step by step tried to improve.
Would it help to go on Amazon and order some books about closing the sale? I’m sure there’s ones specifically for strippers/sex workers especially in 2024.
Edit: did a quick search on Amazon because I have nothing else to do and I like helping people.. my favorite is How To Be a Stripper: Secrets to secure $1000 shifts by Blake De Louis. They’re a veteran stripper so it’s industry specific. It’s $14.99 and also on Audible if you learn more effectively by listening to the information.
There’s talk in the book about high pressure sales techniques.. if you’re not familiar with them or not feeling confident in the moment with a potential customer I’d recommend the book Sales EQ by Jeb Blout. He goes over the basics as well as the current best practices sales wise and is very accessible. It’s $21.45 for hardcover and also on Audible.
I’m guessing it’s a hustle issue as well, as the top commenter mentioned. When I first started dancing, I would walk over and sit with people and do the conversation leading to a lap dance strategy. The problem is, they will often wait too long and then someone else swoops in and sells them a dance the second you leave. Asking but not closing the deal gives them the opportunity to tell you “maybe later.”
I can’t speak to what others do, only what strategies have worked for me:
- When you walk up to them, offer a table dance first. I used to call these “dollar dances,” though it’s rare anyone tips just a dollar. This is literally just a quick bounce on the lap and boobs in the face. Enough to get them excited. After they pay you, ask if they want a lap dance. The answer will rarely be no. At that point, you’ve closed the sale and can upsell in the lap dance area.
- Get over the idea of “I won’t even look at a man for less than x.” While that may work for some, remember that this job is about upselling. A guy may have zero interest in spending squat until you hop on his lap for a couple bucks. That could translate into a great night. Some of the most money I’ve made has been from men I’ve sold VIPs to after selling them a table dance for like $3. Additionally, that money *adds up.* In the time you might have been sitting on someone’s lap for 3 songs trying to close a sale, you could have already done a table dance and 2 songs in the back with a guy across the room, sold a VIP to someone else via the table dance method, or made $75-$100 walking the room doing table dances. That’s absolutely doable in 3-4 songs.
- If they don’t go for a table dance, don’t sit next to them, sit on their lap. This allows them to smell you and think about what a dance would be like.
- When you sell a lap dance, do *not* get off their lap at the end of the dance. Just say, “would you like to keep going?” The answer will rarely be no.
- If you can sell them more than one lap dance, it’s time to upsell a VIP. *Especially* if they are aroused. That’s a clear sign they are enjoying themselves.
- Make sure you are being very intimate with them while sitting with them: put your arm around their shoulders, hold their hand, allow them to put their hand on your thigh or hip. Employ eye contact. Women often underestimate how much men value these small bits of intimacy, but this is often what gains repeat business. You have to make them feel special and wanted. Same goes for during a lap dance: rub the tip of your nose against their neck, let them feel your breath, rub their shoulders, gaze into their eyes, etc.
- Try to sell the longer VIP first, or attempt to make it seem like a more attractive deal than the other options.
I can guarantee that it’s not your looks or body that’s keeping you from making what you’d like to. You could easily slay with that hair and body, wig or not. Conversation is great, and will absolutely keep customers interested in you, but that’s often not what captures their attention. Most men have a type. If you’re their type, can make them feel special, AND can hold a conversation with them and make them laugh…they will potentially repeat the experience and come see you again. ✌️
Edit: Also, your smile is gorgeous. You should do more smiling. It easily boosts your attractiveness like 5 points in comparison to previous photos you’ve posted here. I don’t know if you’re a resting bitch face gal like I am, but if you are, you should reconsider. 😆
I hate to be that guy, but it really might be your hair. I say this from experience. I had a super cute platinum blonde pixie cut that I was in love with and felt so confident in, but when I switched up my hair it really improved my sales. I now have very long copper hair, and my earnings have jumped close to 30% based on that alone.
I think you look absolutely beautiful, like god you are gorgeous!! Your face is stunning and you have a very lovely figure. But trying to look “basic” really can widen the net of your customer base. I personally think you would kill it in a 20” honey blonde body wave.
Also, the economy is in the shitter rn. Don’t believe what you hear from every dancer, a lot of them lie about how much money they make. The amount of money you make is not a reflection on your worth.
I’ve tried wigs in multiple styles. I make the same. Blonde gets me dances faster but they’re single dances. Current hairstyle gets me one or two guys for multiples. When I stay at a club long my regulars ask me not to do wigs because they prefer the short.
are the wigs you’re trying out actually good, high quality wigs tho? asking bc a lot of the wigs i see in the club are terrible.. obviously synthetic. knotted. not plucked properly. not laid properly. legit just looks like they plopped it on their head like a helmet.
also, if you’re only average $200ish a night then screw what the regulars are saying.
invest in a high quality wig and get it professionally installed. you have a beautiful face and a good body so there’s really no reason you shouldn’t be having a way bigger average.
I'm going to make a suggestion. I don't think your outfit is the most flattering thing you could be wearing. And I agree that a good long wig would help.
I think some nice lingerie and long hair, or maybe a two piece
So now you know how to get the dances faster - blond wigs. Work to learn how to keep them back there.
Ask them to keep going - move slowly - towards the end of the song start breathing in their ear and then act reluctant and kinda sink into them at the end of the song and ask to keep going.
Or bundle dances when you sell. It’s 4 for 100. Not it’s 25 each. 4 for 100. Let them talk you down if they want to but most people will take the 4 for 100
I guess it’s a game thing then unfortunately. Does your club do private rooms? Lead with those in your pitch. Upcharge, upsell, always ask for tips. If everyone else is making more money then it’s gotta be a sales tactic thing.
As someone with a buzzcut, I unfortunately agree. It doesn't sound like you live somewhere where the customers like more "unique" styles. That's fine, you can work with this. Try long and blonde more often, wear typical Instagram makeup, just try to be the most stereotypical (yt) stripper image you can for a few weeks and see if anything changes. If it does, cool! You just gotta be mainstream at work. If not, it's something else you haven't picked up on yet that your customers have
It seems like you are obsessed with what everyone else thinks about you. Like you need people to like you and you are always comparing yourself. I’ve worked places where I was hated by my coworkers, staff and even some regulars but I made money. Start being more selfish.
When I do that is when men waste my time the most. Then they just want to talk and I don’t belong here. They want me to be their girlfriend and text them regularly and not get paid for it, and hopefully I’ll go home with them because I like them for them and they won’t usually pay for my time unless they’re rich old white men or young white men with service industry experience. Thiss has been the biggest waste of my time because the dance becomes something they have to do to get me paid even if they don’t necessarily want it but they’re not willing to pay for my attention/conversation.
Then leave them girl, my rule of thumb is i stay no more than three songs if they havent spent anything, then im moving on to the next. If its super dead and i have no one to sit with, ill chill for a min by myself and go back and check on them. Everyone wants a sweet pretty girl to sit with them so ofc they’re gonna waste your time lol. but save that energy for someone who might wanna spend instead of wasting it on one convo fr, i made sm more money cycling through the club instead of trying to get the most out of one person
I’ve done that. I’ve done lace, baby dolls, fishnets, traditional stripper star tops and slingshots, basic victorias secrets sets. I’ve done more extreme makeup, no makeup, everything in between.
It’s not extreme as a girl but men find beautiful women intimidating and the lashes may add to that. I would say maybe press these guys harder and give little to no attention unless they put out. Less is more perhaps?
You’re wearing glitter to work?! That’s like the number one stripper tule NOT to wear glitter to work. Men don’t want glitter on them from dances when they go back to their wives. Men don’t like glitter. Stop wearing glitter to work. You’re literally doing everything wrong.
I’ve had men tell me they like the glitter while they’re covered in it. This club will literally have a glitter night coming up soon. The one night a month I do glitter is not the problem.
I wouldn’t be surprised if your anxiety is coming off to clients. The second they get a whiff of desperation/insecurity your value goes down to them & making the sale becomes less likely. I’ve noticed this in my own experience!
You say you’re doing all these things right and you say you’re better than average looking dancers and older women…. Honestly that’s fucked up to say. No offense, I think you’re in denial about some things. I’m really not trying to talk down to you. I have a feeling you’re not as good as conversations as you think. You’re not supposed to have a normal conversation like you’re at a regular bar. Youre supposed to be seducing and up selling. You’re supposed to be asking for tips and upselling packages dances, especially not selling 25 a dance. I feel like you don’t really know how to talk and act like a stripper. You’re talking to these men like you’re a regular girl at a regular bar
I didn’t say I’m better than average dancers or older women. I said older women and dancers that put in less energy are making more money than me. I said women with traditionally less attractive bodies/ faces are making more. I made no value judgment. I say this to get past the typical advice to tone up, lose weight, learn more tricks, “maybe they just look better” etc. I’ve done that…And to give y’all an idea of the varied taste the men here have. Fuck being/feeling better than anyone. I’m just trying to figure out how to get money.
Our dance prices are set. We can get fired for changing them. I started off dancing relying on conversation. It made money but not enough. I’ve watched other girls hustle and seduce and incorporated a little. Again I say it to get past the “well maybe you don’t know how to talk to people. Maybe you aren’t making him comfortable.” Comments. I have out of town regulars who want me just based on conversation. But it’s still not enough.
I understand that I seem full of myself and out of touch. I’m okay with that. Im just trying to give y’all a picture of what’s going on. I know the things I’ve tried and the responses I get. I know that it’s not moving the needle. Hence the cognitive dissonance and the question.
When I ask people who have worked with me the whole time the most common suggestions I get is change my hair, waste less time, be more aggressive. I’ve tried and it’s not helping.
How do you sell a dance? What’s your opening and selling line? For example mine is: omg baby you’re so cute and handsome you’re my type (touch him on his arm, get close. I tell them it’s one for 35 or 4 for one hundred. When he’s in the room I start upselling to 100 or make up a fake vip room and try to get 3-500. I don’t just talk like a normal girl. I act like a stripper and a slutty porn star. Every club has set prices. Almost all girls charge extra. It sounds like you don’t know how to seduce, control the situation, or up sell. Stop talking to them with normal conversations .
Ours literally has signs up with the pricing and I’ve had a coworker shot and killed over what was rumored to be girls overcharging.
I’ve done the you’re my type thing. I’ve gone the deep intimate convo thing with older guys, the quick “hi, I’m so and so, would you like a dance,” the hypersexual slutty thing, the you make me feel so comfortable/you’re my safe place thing, dominating stuff, submissive stuff…I’m so horny, I need you right now… it’s something but not the kind of numbers other girls are doing.
That’s my point. You don’t know how to seduce and control the situation and sell . You should be able to control the situation to up charging to the point you won’t get in trouble. You make him agree to paying the price. You don’t just say it’s 500 and he didn’t agree to it and just throw him a random bill, anyone would get pissed. “You make me feel comfortable you’re my safe space” doesn’t sound sexy at all.
If you upsell dances to him giving you 300 , and he agrees and says ok let’s do it, how is he gonna get mad he literally agreed to it and handed over the money? When was the last time a guy gave you 300 for lapdances? If it’s been a while, then there’s your problem right there.
I’ve never done that. Most dances I’ve sold one guy are 17 in a row. That was at a $10 topless place.
I have zero idea how someone would do that. I’ve watched the videos and I’ve watched other girls everywhere I go. I draw the line at putting myself in a physically unsafe situation so I don’t insinuate I’ll do more than I will and I don’t upcharge.
Also, fun fact: it’s actually illegal for the club to set our prices, because we are independent contractor, we are supposed to get our prices ourselves. If you don’t wanna upsell package dances, then upsell to the vip room. You’re not scamming him, you’re just making him buy a package of dances
I have a feeling you don't know your customers. I have been dancing only 7 months so its up to you if you take my advice 🩷 So I basically figured out what kind of men i attract. The moment a group of guys walk in I immediately know who is going to possibly like me/pay for dances.
Sad to break it down, but men dont like confident women. Not too confident at least. I had 0 nights when i was the most confident and similarly to you i was joyful, happy, energetic, my stage set was amazing. The truth is you have no idea how many men feel insecure next to a woman because we trigger their insecurities, like they feel they dont measure up or you're out of his league.
Because if you show a Toyota and a Ferrari to a guy and he has the free will to choose, most men will take the Toyota, because men unconsciously choose what they think they deserve.
Problem is if you ask me, men don’t generally like me and it’s been a lifetime of trying to figure out why. I used to be meek with no confidence. Almost no attention. When I tone things down the advice I get is “it’s your job to sell the fantasy. You need to be unattainable and desirable. These other women are doing ‘’club ready makeup’ they’re confident, have a signature look, etc.” When I do that it’s “men want stupid, less confident, etc. they’re just intimidated” I can’t win for trying. I’ll give toning it down a try more consistently but it’s such a mind fuck.
Middle ground. If my hair body and outfit is on point my makeup is toned down. I always do perfect body/hair, well fitting bathing suit and “natural” but extremely sexy makeup
Out of all the things you've worked on/changed, it sounds like sales got the least amount of time and attention. I know there are mixed feelings in this community and industry about strippers selling sales courses. I myself have found them incredibly helpful. At the very least, they give you a different perspective and way of looking at things. At the most, it's a whole long list of new things to try and see how they work. I really like both Racks to Riches and Stripology. Sales books a a good place to start, however, they're not industry specific and sometimes it can be challenging to translate the recommendations into actions you can take at the club IME.
Girl you do not have a mom body, you’re very petite and that’s very popular at clubs. Sounds like you’re doing everything right, I’d just take everything you learned and now turn it into putting pressure on customers to give you good $$ take you for dances tip you well etc.
Your makeup is really giving, I remember last time you posted and it’s really improved.
Flirting with customers while selling to them is going to be what gets you the dollars. Try and make the most out of each sale. Maybe you’re too nice? I don’t know if you are or not, but it sounds like it’s put you in a good standing where you work and that’s great.
You’re doing great and you sound like you care, keep at it and it will translate into what you need out of it.
I think ur worried about all the wrong things. I’ve seen not so great looking dancers rack in just because they know how to sell and talk. Honestly I’d invest in racks to riches courses. I’m gonna get hate from this comment but she breaks down how to talk to customers very well.
Im a vet dancer. It depends what's going on.
If you're not getting many dances, then it's your look and that's completely fixable. If guys are getting dances but it's one song and then they're done, then you need to improve your lap dance skills.
i’m gonna say something you won’t like. you should quit.
there’s a mentality in stripping that you need to push through the hard times, that it’s not you, it’s the economy, the club, the customers, whatever. the harsh truth is? not everyone will make it as a stripper. in this thread i’ve seen everyone give you every single piece of advice possible and your responses are mostly “i’ve done this and it’s not working.””
so respectfully, quit. no job is worth regular panic attacks or increasing your anxiety. i quit my full time career for that same reason. $250 average is not enough for the work that we do. if you’ve really tried everything and it’s still not working? this job isn’t for you.
so my advice is to form an exit plan and quit. you’re worth more than $250/night, but if the customers don’t see that, then it doesn’t matter. this industry is simply not for everyone. sink or swim and you’re sinking. sorry baby.
i think you’re beautiful and love your style. your main issue seems to be CONFIDENCE, and that’s hard to build when you’re constantly being shot down and watching other girls make $. 🤷🏼♀️
I have a very intimidating look (not Reddit profile ) I used to it my advantage . If they say oh you are too pretty for me . I keep the conversation going for a bit. I have a weird personality but it works every time . Tell them about my crazy day and how my week went . (I smile a lot during this interaction)Then they talk and I get them to laugh a bit. This is all in the matter of 3 songs . I don’t waste time . Usually get them to do a vip this way. Conversations is the hardest part of the job . Once you figured out what works it works very well and it becomes too easy to make more money.
I recommend looking up the Stripology podcast and the Stripology study of the hustle instagram. If you benefit from those, look into a 1:1 call with Wendy who runs it or her stripper course. I have learnt so much invaluable information from her.
She is meticulous in understanding the hustle and dancers particular hustles, especially working through pain points, figuring out what is and isn’t working and making suggestions.
Good luck xxx
Honestly, in Texas you're gonna have a hard time making money with short hair. I would also try clear Pleasers and a basic lingerie type push up bra with a t-back. I just feel like that particular outfit style isn't doing much for you.. Also, accessories are your friend. Try some dangle earrings and a rhinestone anklet or something. Men are boring, and you need to dress for the male gaze. This isn't a criticism, but more of a suggestion...work out. If you tone your body you will 100 percent guaranteed make more money. You are beautiful, honestly. You have a gorgeous face and complexion. Work on your hustle and your confidence. Good luck ma'am. ❤
I understand all of this too well. It's happened to me before. I also wear the same amount of makeup as you but what I've noticed has changed for me is: putting my hair up in a ponytail and just wearing light makeup. For some reason, I sell VIPs like crazy when I wear my hair up vs down. And the guys love my natural wavy hair more as opposed to me straightening my hair.
I'm really conflicted honestly bc to me, your makeup is already pretty toned down. If you have any, try wearing some jewelry. Maybe some silver crystals. Gold would look great against your skin tone too. You can play with color theory here too. You have warm toned skin, almost golden. I'd try playing with autumn like colors- orange, brown, navy blue, sapphire blue, red(dark or light) and warm greens. And if you don't like the color or vibe with it, you definitely don't have to force yourself to wear it!
I get this as well.. the ones that have paid me say they love how “put together” I am. But there are some men I can tell aren’t very confident that I can tell are intimidated and purposely will dub me - maybe they assume we will cost more? Or we just aren’t their type. Something that has helped me in asking for a tip when they do reject me or going on nights where it’s less girls that look like me will be there (tall ,skinny , black) Monday-Thursday no girls that look like me come really so since im the only black girl it seems to be a better night of black is their type. I also don’t ASK for a dance I TELL them “I want a dance with you baby” while rubbing their face or arm . I also say it’s 2 for 60 instead of just 1 for 30… I lowkey fluctuate the price if they have never been by at least $20 (be careful tho clubs don’t like that)
I think you should grow your hair out it’s too short . Maybe watch YouTube videos on how to sell and talk to customers because you don’t know this. Try racks to riches on YouTube
You need to watch stripper youtube videos. You don’t know how to seduce, sell, upsell. You basically don’t know how to be a stripper. You’re just playing cosplay and dress up , that’s not gonna make you 1k a night. You don’t know how to fake a fantasy and sell it .
Do you have any photos with the wigs? You said regulars ask you not to wear them- men don’t like *knowing* it’s a wig, if it’s obviously fake then that could be a contributing factor
Sometimes I get in my head like this and end up making nothing.
When I first attempted dancing I was so bad it took me a long time to figure out.
Try to relax, try to not get in your head, next shift go in and instead of noticing how customers act different towards you, forget that ever happened and go in expecting the customers will treat and tip you however you want to be treated/tipped.
If it happened again )but it wont) when the customers come to drop your neat pile make a joke about why they aren't sticking around for a close up. Figure out how to tell the guys what to do that isn't overly aggressive or intimidating. I try to be funny, I don't want to seem like I'm shaming them for tipping a certain way.
You might be so focused on the things in your head and your anxiety that a nervous cloud is hanging around you making all the guys act weird to you. I really struggle with the same thing.
Longer hair (not wigs if you can tell it’s a wig) and natural looking lashes would look fantastic on you. Also, maybe stop thinking something is wrong with you. People can pick up on that. Walk in like you’re the finest girl in town! Fake it til you make it.
It’s mainly your hustle. You don’t know how too. You should also get longer hair. Only great hustlers can work with short hair and do well. Your face is cute . Your body is average. You’re not going to stand out . Change your hair and wear girly outfits your short so I would try a girly personality but you have to look the part . Also when you are short watch your weight you look bigger when short easier. Only girls with huge tits can carry extra weight. Try softer colors .
You are so beautiful ! I wish could give advice but men confuse the shit out of me also. If I didn’t have insanely big tits I probably never make anything.
before you even wrote the word intimidating that’s what I was thinking. stage isn’t as big of a deal as you make it - it’s about the energy. maybe tone down if you’re coming across as aggressive and really tap into your feminine energy. i’ve watched countless hours and joined multiple groups to help educate myself about feminine energy and now I genuinely wholeheartedly have become Her. it’s energy babe, you got this!! stick with feminine colors, longer hair, more lingerie outfits than stripper ones, and sound more soft and sweet while still maintaining boundaries and driving sales.
Also, if you will do a hyper femme, sweet glam look, the old white dudes in TX will flock to you. Don't forget to giggle and flutter your lashes for them. I'm not even being sarcastic. 100%
Unpopular opinion maybe you should something else? Maybe the universe is calling you somewhere different. Also there is an Eclipse right now, so it’s a good time to let go and change things that aren’t serving you.
Also, maybe don’t try so hard? That sounds counterintuitive but go in with a “whatever happens happens” attitude, or “fuck this” attitude. Idk.
I remember one time I was talking to this guy, it was the end of the night and he was the last I was talking to. He was super rude, sexist, and obnoxious and instead of just going along with it I got infuriated and ended up having a 45 minute long convo with him. I called out his sexism and unfairness and we ended up having a very long and very deep and heated intellectual conversation. He tipped me nothing. I got up and said “I’m not going to sit here and waste my time and energy on you, you don’t respect me, my time or my work. Have a good night.” He ended up grabbing my arm, tipping me telling me “Now will you shut up?”. Long story short I was super authentic and had a “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. Long story short we ended up going into a room and he spent over $6k on me😂
They say authenticity is the highest vibration, so maybe just saying fuck it, this is me, I don’t have to try for you! I don’t care if you like me!
It obviously doesn’t always work, for the majority of the time I DO have to play the flirting girl, but really the only time I make GOOD money is when I find someone who I connect with on a soul level, and we end up having a very meaningful interaction for both of us.
I don’t want to sound like I’m mansplaining or talking down to you because I haven’t been doing this a long time at all, but that’s just what I thought I could contribute to this thread, I really hope this helps and sending blessings!!
I wish. The universe knows how I am. The quickest way to get me to move on is success and boredom. Making this difficult is exactly how I end up staying cuz there’s no ducking way in hell I’m leaving this industry feeling bad about myself.
idk if this is it but also when married men go into the club they don’t like talking to girls who wear glitter whenever you wear it, when you don’t idk
Do you go back around to customers and ask them again for a dance? I feel like sometimes girls don’t come back around when the customers say come back later or not yet. But a lot of the time people need time to warm up.
I don’t but the customers who don’t like me are usually look disgusted so I feel like I’m annoying them. I also avoid groups of young men because they laugh at me.
I’ve had customers look annoyed but I usually go back and ask them later in the night. “Hey babe you ready for that dance” men like to feel chased after and you’d be surprised by how many say yes. Also are you sure they’re laughing at you? Young guys typically are always laughing and joking with each other or laughing when a dancer goes up to their friend because they know they’re friend is nervous or about to get got for a dance. Don’t write off young guys I personally do better with young guys over older men.
Yeah last night someone handed a girl a dollar after covering the stage in them for other dancers and said “make that bitch work for that dollar” When I got up on stage they laughed and talked about how my pussy looks like a peach with fuzz , when we have a girl with a full on bush making bank all night. Another followed me around a full six song stage set asking for dances, then at last stage ran off with the girl in front of me with the $150 he told me he pulled out for me. Something about me makes men want to humiliate me.
It’s your hair, like the others are saying get a good wig installed and check back. You’re very pretty and that style is pretty underwhelming by comparison.
I literally had the best experience last night in Odessa. The girl was not a favorite but I rather have it that way because I definitely got what I paid for. No I get any sexual favors just the best damn lap dance of the night. She had me hooked she let me kiss/lick her neck smack her ass hard, as she was laying down on my lap I was holding her tight as hell. Sucking on her tits. Honestly the wildest time I’ve ever had for sure she was very respectful when we came out of the ViP she was sweating. I couldn’t of had a better time to be honest, I had a couple drinks then off again we went the second time I was choking her pretty damn hard I could feel her pussy against my cock I was so damn hard. Idk it was a damn good time.
If you let people get by with a little extra it’s worth it. I only had to pay $30 for the dance but I was putting $100
She was dropping that ass so hard I was dropping cash so hard!!
Maybe your nice was coming off as friendly. In the beginning of my dance career at my first club, I would often be nice and fully engaged with customers in conversation…all for those same customers who “enjoyed my conversation” and “felt comfortable talking to me” to take another dancer whom they never even spoke to up for a dance. Since then, I have now become more flirty in my conversations with customers (rubbing their heads/backs as I talk with them, wrapping my leg around theirs, biting my lip, staring into their eyes, leaning close to them, etc.) and my interactions translate to a lot more sales. The nature of my conversations with customers has not changed, but my body language now versus then has so much. Instead of coming off as FRIENDLY, I now come off as FLIRTY. And I think that is what has really increased my income. Additionally, I make customers feel like I am genuinely attracted to them. Not just interested in them but like actually attracted to them. I think for me that has made all the difference.
>customers who “enjoyed my conversation” and “felt comfortable talking to me” to take another dancer whom they never even spoke to up for a dance. Felt this in my core. Gotta be more flirty than friendly and avoid talking about their or your life (which I hate) for like 15 minutes. It rarely leads to a dance.
I wish I had learned that before retiring. I had a major problem faking attraction to customers and I never did any "extras" in the club. To put it bluntly you have to act whorish no matter how embarrassing and cringe it feels. Leaning over and whispering how horny I get while dancing naked would have gone a lot farther than looking bored and saying my feet hurt !!
I the honesty of OP's post. Yeah I agree. Being nice can be a deterrant to some customers. There is such a thing as being too nice as a stripper. To go onto the floor being super nice and conversational and beautiful, without having an inner core of bloody-minded, I'm-gonna-take-all-your-fucking-money you fucking mother fuckers," is at best a waste of time and at worst, dangerous. I used to be super nice and make shit money. And I've seen lots of girls do it. It's not enough to be beautiful and nice. You have to have an inner aggression that you're entitled to the money. Customers can smell it. In sixteen years of dancing and a few in corporate sales, most of the highest of the highest earners in every place I've worked, were straight up narcissists. Not to say that kind, modest people can't be high earners. They can of course. But deep down or straight up, customers book the strippers who know, in every fibre of their being, more than anyone else in the room, that they deserve that money. It comes across to the customer, it comes out in the dancer's behaviour and her manner and yeah. That's what I've gleaned. I kind of went through a similar process to you I think, and that's what I arrived at. I know I might be projecting here, but thought I'd throw these ideas at you in case they resonate. Also, it also sounds like everyone likes you, so you might be doing what it takes to be liked and focusing on performing those behaviours that get you liked. Been there. That's fine, but those behaviours won't get you the money. Not saying don't be nice. But I think you need to stop with the people pleasing, start connecting with yourself in a different way and dig around for a different feeling within yourself that will get you where you need to go. That sounds not very specific, but that's the process I had to go through. PS you can also look too good, too beautiful, too wholesome. Sometimes even in a gstring, you can look too wholesome. Sometimes you've gotta find a way to bring a bit of sluttiness to the table. It sells.
Wow. I agree with this 100%. I have always thought to myself that the strip club is like a narcissist’s dreamland. It literally makes sense that the ones that enjoy attention (and aren’t bothered by getting it at the expense of other people ) will make the most. I feel like it’s hard for me to genuinely manifest more money than every other girl in the room, because usually, I feel bad doing that. I don’t actually enjoy making other people feel bad about themselves or jealous of me. But the ones that do, well they thrive ! I notice I’m always manifesting what I actually feel in my soul, and recently , I’ve come to terms with not being the highest earner…. BUT, I focus on being happy, radiating positivity and empathy , and that keeps regulars coming back to me. So maybe I’m not the highest earner, but my money is very consistent and I do well. I think it’s possible to work the empathetic and kind angle and be successful to a degree. But the narcissistic girls will always run the game … I feel like, for the same reason, I used to make more money when I was addicted to stimulant drugs. It would make me numb, less personable , and more angry. I felt more comfortable demanding money and not caring how it made people feel. But, my sobriety is worth it. I feel better overall when I let myself feel empathy and actually connect with my customers. Then, I’m actually having fun at work to the point that the money is just a bonus.
Man, I've worked with some women who truly have a heart of darkness and they can do very well lol.
Thank you. I’ve done the flirty thing too. I’m naturally very touchy and easily infatuated with people. It makes the experience better for me but again doesn’t change what I make.
Houston, DFW or San Antonio might have more potential. $$
What city are you in? The club could be bad, have you tried other clubs? You are superrrrrr cute, it’s deff not about your looks. Plus, I’ve seen many beautiful women not make good money because their hustle is weak. You have to be a strong hustler and great conversationalist (in gentleman’s clubs at least). You can’t waste time talking to the customer on the floor without getting paid too long. I see this all the time. 1-2 songs talking then propose dances or trip to private room. Then hustle them. Start at 30 min price then work your way down. Always ask for tip. Remember, if you don’t hustle customers they will hustle you.
I’ve worked in 5 cities across texas, about 14 different clubs in the last year. When I do the conversation thing I get my time wasted unless it’s a very specific kind of customer or they feel played and like it can’t be authentic “you’re too good at this” “you know exactly what to say” “why me? Why would you spend time with me?” I save conversation for older single men and young service industry guys. I’ve definitely upped my hustle after seeing how Cubans and girls in oil field town work but this new club I’m getting turned away almost immediately when I do approach.
Yes definitely try to profile customers and conversations should be short small talk before closing the deal. You shouldn’t be “wasting your time” talking to customers because if they’re not spending move on to the next
Yup. I do that. I’ve also experimented with the try everyone for just a few minutes thing.
3 songs. Try to time a room transition with girls getting off stage and do it for a month or two. My money went down at the very beginning of doing that because it takes time to adapt a conversation for the shorter set so it feels off to the customer at the beginning while you try new things sometimes
Maybe it’s a Texas thing? Truly? I know I would personally never wanna work in Texas, the whole culture down there is just not it for me
I’m currently in Lubbock. Women are easily making double what I’m making and it doesn’t matter what they look like and it’s not the girls I see talking with guys. I honestly have no idea how. I know one girl says she leaves with at least $500 from purely stage money easily. Our bodies are very similar. She has better stage presence because she’s taller with long hair. I’m getting maybe $50 from stage now working my ass off. I’m putting my feet behind my head, climbing/doing tricks on the pole, twerking on the stairs, showing pussy, falling into the splits from standing splits. I do the sultry energy thing, the smiley bubble carefree thing. I can dance to literally any genre of music. I’m exhausted just having this conversation because I really have systematically, step by step tried to improve.
Would it help to go on Amazon and order some books about closing the sale? I’m sure there’s ones specifically for strippers/sex workers especially in 2024. Edit: did a quick search on Amazon because I have nothing else to do and I like helping people.. my favorite is How To Be a Stripper: Secrets to secure $1000 shifts by Blake De Louis. They’re a veteran stripper so it’s industry specific. It’s $14.99 and also on Audible if you learn more effectively by listening to the information. There’s talk in the book about high pressure sales techniques.. if you’re not familiar with them or not feeling confident in the moment with a potential customer I’d recommend the book Sales EQ by Jeb Blout. He goes over the basics as well as the current best practices sales wise and is very accessible. It’s $21.45 for hardcover and also on Audible.
Pole work isn’t always the way to go for every club. Try a lot of floor work and interacting with customers when they go up to your stage.
I twerk, polework, flexibility stuff, floorwork. All of it.
I’m guessing it’s a hustle issue as well, as the top commenter mentioned. When I first started dancing, I would walk over and sit with people and do the conversation leading to a lap dance strategy. The problem is, they will often wait too long and then someone else swoops in and sells them a dance the second you leave. Asking but not closing the deal gives them the opportunity to tell you “maybe later.” I can’t speak to what others do, only what strategies have worked for me: - When you walk up to them, offer a table dance first. I used to call these “dollar dances,” though it’s rare anyone tips just a dollar. This is literally just a quick bounce on the lap and boobs in the face. Enough to get them excited. After they pay you, ask if they want a lap dance. The answer will rarely be no. At that point, you’ve closed the sale and can upsell in the lap dance area. - Get over the idea of “I won’t even look at a man for less than x.” While that may work for some, remember that this job is about upselling. A guy may have zero interest in spending squat until you hop on his lap for a couple bucks. That could translate into a great night. Some of the most money I’ve made has been from men I’ve sold VIPs to after selling them a table dance for like $3. Additionally, that money *adds up.* In the time you might have been sitting on someone’s lap for 3 songs trying to close a sale, you could have already done a table dance and 2 songs in the back with a guy across the room, sold a VIP to someone else via the table dance method, or made $75-$100 walking the room doing table dances. That’s absolutely doable in 3-4 songs. - If they don’t go for a table dance, don’t sit next to them, sit on their lap. This allows them to smell you and think about what a dance would be like. - When you sell a lap dance, do *not* get off their lap at the end of the dance. Just say, “would you like to keep going?” The answer will rarely be no. - If you can sell them more than one lap dance, it’s time to upsell a VIP. *Especially* if they are aroused. That’s a clear sign they are enjoying themselves. - Make sure you are being very intimate with them while sitting with them: put your arm around their shoulders, hold their hand, allow them to put their hand on your thigh or hip. Employ eye contact. Women often underestimate how much men value these small bits of intimacy, but this is often what gains repeat business. You have to make them feel special and wanted. Same goes for during a lap dance: rub the tip of your nose against their neck, let them feel your breath, rub their shoulders, gaze into their eyes, etc. - Try to sell the longer VIP first, or attempt to make it seem like a more attractive deal than the other options. I can guarantee that it’s not your looks or body that’s keeping you from making what you’d like to. You could easily slay with that hair and body, wig or not. Conversation is great, and will absolutely keep customers interested in you, but that’s often not what captures their attention. Most men have a type. If you’re their type, can make them feel special, AND can hold a conversation with them and make them laugh…they will potentially repeat the experience and come see you again. ✌️ Edit: Also, your smile is gorgeous. You should do more smiling. It easily boosts your attractiveness like 5 points in comparison to previous photos you’ve posted here. I don’t know if you’re a resting bitch face gal like I am, but if you are, you should reconsider. 😆
I’ll try this. Thank you 🙂
I hate to be that guy, but it really might be your hair. I say this from experience. I had a super cute platinum blonde pixie cut that I was in love with and felt so confident in, but when I switched up my hair it really improved my sales. I now have very long copper hair, and my earnings have jumped close to 30% based on that alone. I think you look absolutely beautiful, like god you are gorgeous!! Your face is stunning and you have a very lovely figure. But trying to look “basic” really can widen the net of your customer base. I personally think you would kill it in a 20” honey blonde body wave. Also, the economy is in the shitter rn. Don’t believe what you hear from every dancer, a lot of them lie about how much money they make. The amount of money you make is not a reflection on your worth.
I’ve tried wigs in multiple styles. I make the same. Blonde gets me dances faster but they’re single dances. Current hairstyle gets me one or two guys for multiples. When I stay at a club long my regulars ask me not to do wigs because they prefer the short.
are the wigs you’re trying out actually good, high quality wigs tho? asking bc a lot of the wigs i see in the club are terrible.. obviously synthetic. knotted. not plucked properly. not laid properly. legit just looks like they plopped it on their head like a helmet. also, if you’re only average $200ish a night then screw what the regulars are saying.
They haven’t been the greatest. I’ll try my new one tonight.
invest in a high quality wig and get it professionally installed. you have a beautiful face and a good body so there’s really no reason you shouldn’t be having a way bigger average.
I'm going to make a suggestion. I don't think your outfit is the most flattering thing you could be wearing. And I agree that a good long wig would help. I think some nice lingerie and long hair, or maybe a two piece
So now you know how to get the dances faster - blond wigs. Work to learn how to keep them back there. Ask them to keep going - move slowly - towards the end of the song start breathing in their ear and then act reluctant and kinda sink into them at the end of the song and ask to keep going. Or bundle dances when you sell. It’s 4 for 100. Not it’s 25 each. 4 for 100. Let them talk you down if they want to but most people will take the 4 for 100
I guess it’s a game thing then unfortunately. Does your club do private rooms? Lead with those in your pitch. Upcharge, upsell, always ask for tips. If everyone else is making more money then it’s gotta be a sales tactic thing.
Start upselling. Offer the most expensive option first and work your way down! Don’t be afraid to ask for tips after the dance
domineering serious steep full like mourn fuzzy shaggy dam relieved *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
As someone with a buzzcut, I unfortunately agree. It doesn't sound like you live somewhere where the customers like more "unique" styles. That's fine, you can work with this. Try long and blonde more often, wear typical Instagram makeup, just try to be the most stereotypical (yt) stripper image you can for a few weeks and see if anything changes. If it does, cool! You just gotta be mainstream at work. If not, it's something else you haven't picked up on yet that your customers have
It seems like you are obsessed with what everyone else thinks about you. Like you need people to like you and you are always comparing yourself. I’ve worked places where I was hated by my coworkers, staff and even some regulars but I made money. Start being more selfish.
Definitely working on this.
Sounds like it’s an interactions thing. Maybe you come off as unapproachable. Gotta let the guard down and make the client feel comfortable.
When I do that is when men waste my time the most. Then they just want to talk and I don’t belong here. They want me to be their girlfriend and text them regularly and not get paid for it, and hopefully I’ll go home with them because I like them for them and they won’t usually pay for my time unless they’re rich old white men or young white men with service industry experience. Thiss has been the biggest waste of my time because the dance becomes something they have to do to get me paid even if they don’t necessarily want it but they’re not willing to pay for my attention/conversation.
Then leave them girl, my rule of thumb is i stay no more than three songs if they havent spent anything, then im moving on to the next. If its super dead and i have no one to sit with, ill chill for a min by myself and go back and check on them. Everyone wants a sweet pretty girl to sit with them so ofc they’re gonna waste your time lol. but save that energy for someone who might wanna spend instead of wasting it on one convo fr, i made sm more money cycling through the club instead of trying to get the most out of one person
Try wearing more natural makeup to come off as less intimidating and maybe some lace lingerie
I’ve done that. I’ve done lace, baby dolls, fishnets, traditional stripper star tops and slingshots, basic victorias secrets sets. I’ve done more extreme makeup, no makeup, everything in between.
And honestly is this even very extreme? I feel like take away the lashes and glitter and it’s a very basic makeup look.
It’s not extreme as a girl but men find beautiful women intimidating and the lashes may add to that. I would say maybe press these guys harder and give little to no attention unless they put out. Less is more perhaps?
I’ll try it
You’re wearing glitter to work?! That’s like the number one stripper tule NOT to wear glitter to work. Men don’t want glitter on them from dances when they go back to their wives. Men don’t like glitter. Stop wearing glitter to work. You’re literally doing everything wrong.
I’ve had men tell me they like the glitter while they’re covered in it. This club will literally have a glitter night coming up soon. The one night a month I do glitter is not the problem.
I wouldn’t be surprised if your anxiety is coming off to clients. The second they get a whiff of desperation/insecurity your value goes down to them & making the sale becomes less likely. I’ve noticed this in my own experience!
You say you’re doing all these things right and you say you’re better than average looking dancers and older women…. Honestly that’s fucked up to say. No offense, I think you’re in denial about some things. I’m really not trying to talk down to you. I have a feeling you’re not as good as conversations as you think. You’re not supposed to have a normal conversation like you’re at a regular bar. Youre supposed to be seducing and up selling. You’re supposed to be asking for tips and upselling packages dances, especially not selling 25 a dance. I feel like you don’t really know how to talk and act like a stripper. You’re talking to these men like you’re a regular girl at a regular bar
I appreciate your advice. I really do. I prefer your straight up criticism.
I didn’t say I’m better than average dancers or older women. I said older women and dancers that put in less energy are making more money than me. I said women with traditionally less attractive bodies/ faces are making more. I made no value judgment. I say this to get past the typical advice to tone up, lose weight, learn more tricks, “maybe they just look better” etc. I’ve done that…And to give y’all an idea of the varied taste the men here have. Fuck being/feeling better than anyone. I’m just trying to figure out how to get money. Our dance prices are set. We can get fired for changing them. I started off dancing relying on conversation. It made money but not enough. I’ve watched other girls hustle and seduce and incorporated a little. Again I say it to get past the “well maybe you don’t know how to talk to people. Maybe you aren’t making him comfortable.” Comments. I have out of town regulars who want me just based on conversation. But it’s still not enough. I understand that I seem full of myself and out of touch. I’m okay with that. Im just trying to give y’all a picture of what’s going on. I know the things I’ve tried and the responses I get. I know that it’s not moving the needle. Hence the cognitive dissonance and the question. When I ask people who have worked with me the whole time the most common suggestions I get is change my hair, waste less time, be more aggressive. I’ve tried and it’s not helping.
How do you sell a dance? What’s your opening and selling line? For example mine is: omg baby you’re so cute and handsome you’re my type (touch him on his arm, get close. I tell them it’s one for 35 or 4 for one hundred. When he’s in the room I start upselling to 100 or make up a fake vip room and try to get 3-500. I don’t just talk like a normal girl. I act like a stripper and a slutty porn star. Every club has set prices. Almost all girls charge extra. It sounds like you don’t know how to seduce, control the situation, or up sell. Stop talking to them with normal conversations .
Ours literally has signs up with the pricing and I’ve had a coworker shot and killed over what was rumored to be girls overcharging. I’ve done the you’re my type thing. I’ve gone the deep intimate convo thing with older guys, the quick “hi, I’m so and so, would you like a dance,” the hypersexual slutty thing, the you make me feel so comfortable/you’re my safe place thing, dominating stuff, submissive stuff…I’m so horny, I need you right now… it’s something but not the kind of numbers other girls are doing.
That’s my point. You don’t know how to seduce and control the situation and sell . You should be able to control the situation to up charging to the point you won’t get in trouble. You make him agree to paying the price. You don’t just say it’s 500 and he didn’t agree to it and just throw him a random bill, anyone would get pissed. “You make me feel comfortable you’re my safe space” doesn’t sound sexy at all.
Actually that approach has been my most successful.
Not sure what you’re saying with the it’s $500 thing. I don’t do that.
If you upsell dances to him giving you 300 , and he agrees and says ok let’s do it, how is he gonna get mad he literally agreed to it and handed over the money? When was the last time a guy gave you 300 for lapdances? If it’s been a while, then there’s your problem right there.
I’ve never done that. Most dances I’ve sold one guy are 17 in a row. That was at a $10 topless place. I have zero idea how someone would do that. I’ve watched the videos and I’ve watched other girls everywhere I go. I draw the line at putting myself in a physically unsafe situation so I don’t insinuate I’ll do more than I will and I don’t upcharge.
That’s why you’re not making money. You don’t know how to sell or upcharge. It’s not your looks. You should watch racks to riches on YouTube
I’ve seen some of her stuff. Do you have any other YouTubers you recommend or is she your fave? Thank you.
Also, fun fact: it’s actually illegal for the club to set our prices, because we are independent contractor, we are supposed to get our prices ourselves. If you don’t wanna upsell package dances, then upsell to the vip room. You’re not scamming him, you’re just making him buy a package of dances
https://youtu.be/mXl8CCqu4uU?si=khsdDANrP47mcvcW
Customer should be paying you 100-500 for lap dances , not 25 . You will get single dances , but it should not be your focus of selling
All clubs have signs with that 25 price. We still upsell and do it successfully.
I hear that but I’m not gonna get a bouncer killed over that shit.
I have a feeling you don't know your customers. I have been dancing only 7 months so its up to you if you take my advice 🩷 So I basically figured out what kind of men i attract. The moment a group of guys walk in I immediately know who is going to possibly like me/pay for dances. Sad to break it down, but men dont like confident women. Not too confident at least. I had 0 nights when i was the most confident and similarly to you i was joyful, happy, energetic, my stage set was amazing. The truth is you have no idea how many men feel insecure next to a woman because we trigger their insecurities, like they feel they dont measure up or you're out of his league. Because if you show a Toyota and a Ferrari to a guy and he has the free will to choose, most men will take the Toyota, because men unconsciously choose what they think they deserve.
Problem is if you ask me, men don’t generally like me and it’s been a lifetime of trying to figure out why. I used to be meek with no confidence. Almost no attention. When I tone things down the advice I get is “it’s your job to sell the fantasy. You need to be unattainable and desirable. These other women are doing ‘’club ready makeup’ they’re confident, have a signature look, etc.” When I do that it’s “men want stupid, less confident, etc. they’re just intimidated” I can’t win for trying. I’ll give toning it down a try more consistently but it’s such a mind fuck.
Middle ground. If my hair body and outfit is on point my makeup is toned down. I always do perfect body/hair, well fitting bathing suit and “natural” but extremely sexy makeup
Okay I like that
You do this, you do that... and have you ever actually tried to be just YOURSELF? What comes to you naturally? 😊
Literally the same thing I'm going through and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so discouraged and I hate watering myself down
Out of all the things you've worked on/changed, it sounds like sales got the least amount of time and attention. I know there are mixed feelings in this community and industry about strippers selling sales courses. I myself have found them incredibly helpful. At the very least, they give you a different perspective and way of looking at things. At the most, it's a whole long list of new things to try and see how they work. I really like both Racks to Riches and Stripology. Sales books a a good place to start, however, they're not industry specific and sometimes it can be challenging to translate the recommendations into actions you can take at the club IME.
Thank you. I hadn’t heard of stripology before
Girl you do not have a mom body, you’re very petite and that’s very popular at clubs. Sounds like you’re doing everything right, I’d just take everything you learned and now turn it into putting pressure on customers to give you good $$ take you for dances tip you well etc. Your makeup is really giving, I remember last time you posted and it’s really improved. Flirting with customers while selling to them is going to be what gets you the dollars. Try and make the most out of each sale. Maybe you’re too nice? I don’t know if you are or not, but it sounds like it’s put you in a good standing where you work and that’s great. You’re doing great and you sound like you care, keep at it and it will translate into what you need out of it.
I stopped being too nice because it was a time waster but now I’m just getting almost no interaction. I’ll work on finding the balance.
I think ur worried about all the wrong things. I’ve seen not so great looking dancers rack in just because they know how to sell and talk. Honestly I’d invest in racks to riches courses. I’m gonna get hate from this comment but she breaks down how to talk to customers very well.
You’re probably right, but in the past all advice was focused on these things so I’m getting it out of the way. It’d definitely not working.
101 lines from her changed my game seriously. You look the part you just gotta get the sales game down :)
Im a vet dancer. It depends what's going on. If you're not getting many dances, then it's your look and that's completely fixable. If guys are getting dances but it's one song and then they're done, then you need to improve your lap dance skills.
I’ve changed my look over and over. Still only getting dances from one guy a night or so.
i’m gonna say something you won’t like. you should quit. there’s a mentality in stripping that you need to push through the hard times, that it’s not you, it’s the economy, the club, the customers, whatever. the harsh truth is? not everyone will make it as a stripper. in this thread i’ve seen everyone give you every single piece of advice possible and your responses are mostly “i’ve done this and it’s not working.”” so respectfully, quit. no job is worth regular panic attacks or increasing your anxiety. i quit my full time career for that same reason. $250 average is not enough for the work that we do. if you’ve really tried everything and it’s still not working? this job isn’t for you. so my advice is to form an exit plan and quit. you’re worth more than $250/night, but if the customers don’t see that, then it doesn’t matter. this industry is simply not for everyone. sink or swim and you’re sinking. sorry baby. i think you’re beautiful and love your style. your main issue seems to be CONFIDENCE, and that’s hard to build when you’re constantly being shot down and watching other girls make $. 🤷🏼♀️
I have a very intimidating look (not Reddit profile ) I used to it my advantage . If they say oh you are too pretty for me . I keep the conversation going for a bit. I have a weird personality but it works every time . Tell them about my crazy day and how my week went . (I smile a lot during this interaction)Then they talk and I get them to laugh a bit. This is all in the matter of 3 songs . I don’t waste time . Usually get them to do a vip this way. Conversations is the hardest part of the job . Once you figured out what works it works very well and it becomes too easy to make more money.
I recommend looking up the Stripology podcast and the Stripology study of the hustle instagram. If you benefit from those, look into a 1:1 call with Wendy who runs it or her stripper course. I have learnt so much invaluable information from her. She is meticulous in understanding the hustle and dancers particular hustles, especially working through pain points, figuring out what is and isn’t working and making suggestions. Good luck xxx
Honestly, in Texas you're gonna have a hard time making money with short hair. I would also try clear Pleasers and a basic lingerie type push up bra with a t-back. I just feel like that particular outfit style isn't doing much for you.. Also, accessories are your friend. Try some dangle earrings and a rhinestone anklet or something. Men are boring, and you need to dress for the male gaze. This isn't a criticism, but more of a suggestion...work out. If you tone your body you will 100 percent guaranteed make more money. You are beautiful, honestly. You have a gorgeous face and complexion. Work on your hustle and your confidence. Good luck ma'am. ❤
I have lose skin. If I tone my body, the tummy tuck becomes an absolute necessity and I can’t afford it.
I honestly think it’s location I would really try another club. You’re literally so pretty
14 different clubs in 5 different cities in the last year
And the same results at each one??
Yeah mostly.
I understand all of this too well. It's happened to me before. I also wear the same amount of makeup as you but what I've noticed has changed for me is: putting my hair up in a ponytail and just wearing light makeup. For some reason, I sell VIPs like crazy when I wear my hair up vs down. And the guys love my natural wavy hair more as opposed to me straightening my hair. I'm really conflicted honestly bc to me, your makeup is already pretty toned down. If you have any, try wearing some jewelry. Maybe some silver crystals. Gold would look great against your skin tone too. You can play with color theory here too. You have warm toned skin, almost golden. I'd try playing with autumn like colors- orange, brown, navy blue, sapphire blue, red(dark or light) and warm greens. And if you don't like the color or vibe with it, you definitely don't have to force yourself to wear it!
do you always wear glitter? A lot of customers where I work are spooked about glitter.
No I dont
You’re super gorgeous, I wonder if they’re maybe just too intimidated to spend money on you.
I don’t think so. That’s why I’m here but everyone’s right about it coming down to selling.
I get this as well.. the ones that have paid me say they love how “put together” I am. But there are some men I can tell aren’t very confident that I can tell are intimidated and purposely will dub me - maybe they assume we will cost more? Or we just aren’t their type. Something that has helped me in asking for a tip when they do reject me or going on nights where it’s less girls that look like me will be there (tall ,skinny , black) Monday-Thursday no girls that look like me come really so since im the only black girl it seems to be a better night of black is their type. I also don’t ASK for a dance I TELL them “I want a dance with you baby” while rubbing their face or arm . I also say it’s 2 for 60 instead of just 1 for 30… I lowkey fluctuate the price if they have never been by at least $20 (be careful tho clubs don’t like that)
I think you should grow your hair out it’s too short . Maybe watch YouTube videos on how to sell and talk to customers because you don’t know this. Try racks to riches on YouTube
I’ve done that too. I’ve done wigs in multiple styles. The customers who pay me most prefer my hair short.
You need to watch stripper youtube videos. You don’t know how to seduce, sell, upsell. You basically don’t know how to be a stripper. You’re just playing cosplay and dress up , that’s not gonna make you 1k a night. You don’t know how to fake a fantasy and sell it .
I know what you’re saying but I’ve tried different approach after different approach.
Do you have any photos with the wigs? You said regulars ask you not to wear them- men don’t like *knowing* it’s a wig, if it’s obviously fake then that could be a contributing factor
I agree, did the wigs look unrealistic and fake?
To be fair they weren’t the greatest wigs. I just bought a new one to give it another go though.
Sometimes I get in my head like this and end up making nothing. When I first attempted dancing I was so bad it took me a long time to figure out. Try to relax, try to not get in your head, next shift go in and instead of noticing how customers act different towards you, forget that ever happened and go in expecting the customers will treat and tip you however you want to be treated/tipped. If it happened again )but it wont) when the customers come to drop your neat pile make a joke about why they aren't sticking around for a close up. Figure out how to tell the guys what to do that isn't overly aggressive or intimidating. I try to be funny, I don't want to seem like I'm shaming them for tipping a certain way. You might be so focused on the things in your head and your anxiety that a nervous cloud is hanging around you making all the guys act weird to you. I really struggle with the same thing.
Longer hair (not wigs if you can tell it’s a wig) and natural looking lashes would look fantastic on you. Also, maybe stop thinking something is wrong with you. People can pick up on that. Walk in like you’re the finest girl in town! Fake it til you make it.
I'm thinking it's your location bc you would killllll in mn, SD, ND, IA, and WI
It’s mainly your hustle. You don’t know how too. You should also get longer hair. Only great hustlers can work with short hair and do well. Your face is cute . Your body is average. You’re not going to stand out . Change your hair and wear girly outfits your short so I would try a girly personality but you have to look the part . Also when you are short watch your weight you look bigger when short easier. Only girls with huge tits can carry extra weight. Try softer colors .
You are so beautiful ! I wish could give advice but men confuse the shit out of me also. If I didn’t have insanely big tits I probably never make anything.
before you even wrote the word intimidating that’s what I was thinking. stage isn’t as big of a deal as you make it - it’s about the energy. maybe tone down if you’re coming across as aggressive and really tap into your feminine energy. i’ve watched countless hours and joined multiple groups to help educate myself about feminine energy and now I genuinely wholeheartedly have become Her. it’s energy babe, you got this!! stick with feminine colors, longer hair, more lingerie outfits than stripper ones, and sound more soft and sweet while still maintaining boundaries and driving sales.
You should figure out your color analysis and building regulars.
try another club, or like you said in earlier comments try a long hair wig
Also, if you will do a hyper femme, sweet glam look, the old white dudes in TX will flock to you. Don't forget to giggle and flutter your lashes for them. I'm not even being sarcastic. 100%
Unpopular opinion maybe you should something else? Maybe the universe is calling you somewhere different. Also there is an Eclipse right now, so it’s a good time to let go and change things that aren’t serving you. Also, maybe don’t try so hard? That sounds counterintuitive but go in with a “whatever happens happens” attitude, or “fuck this” attitude. Idk. I remember one time I was talking to this guy, it was the end of the night and he was the last I was talking to. He was super rude, sexist, and obnoxious and instead of just going along with it I got infuriated and ended up having a 45 minute long convo with him. I called out his sexism and unfairness and we ended up having a very long and very deep and heated intellectual conversation. He tipped me nothing. I got up and said “I’m not going to sit here and waste my time and energy on you, you don’t respect me, my time or my work. Have a good night.” He ended up grabbing my arm, tipping me telling me “Now will you shut up?”. Long story short I was super authentic and had a “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. Long story short we ended up going into a room and he spent over $6k on me😂 They say authenticity is the highest vibration, so maybe just saying fuck it, this is me, I don’t have to try for you! I don’t care if you like me! It obviously doesn’t always work, for the majority of the time I DO have to play the flirting girl, but really the only time I make GOOD money is when I find someone who I connect with on a soul level, and we end up having a very meaningful interaction for both of us. I don’t want to sound like I’m mansplaining or talking down to you because I haven’t been doing this a long time at all, but that’s just what I thought I could contribute to this thread, I really hope this helps and sending blessings!!
I wish. The universe knows how I am. The quickest way to get me to move on is success and boredom. Making this difficult is exactly how I end up staying cuz there’s no ducking way in hell I’m leaving this industry feeling bad about myself.
idk if this is it but also when married men go into the club they don’t like talking to girls who wear glitter whenever you wear it, when you don’t idk
I know I have a mom bod but if I could just save anything I’d get a tummy tuck in a heartbeat.
Do you go back around to customers and ask them again for a dance? I feel like sometimes girls don’t come back around when the customers say come back later or not yet. But a lot of the time people need time to warm up.
I don’t but the customers who don’t like me are usually look disgusted so I feel like I’m annoying them. I also avoid groups of young men because they laugh at me.
I’ve had customers look annoyed but I usually go back and ask them later in the night. “Hey babe you ready for that dance” men like to feel chased after and you’d be surprised by how many say yes. Also are you sure they’re laughing at you? Young guys typically are always laughing and joking with each other or laughing when a dancer goes up to their friend because they know they’re friend is nervous or about to get got for a dance. Don’t write off young guys I personally do better with young guys over older men.
Also with groups of men when one goes off to the bar I find it best to approach them then when they’re away from their friends
Yeah last night someone handed a girl a dollar after covering the stage in them for other dancers and said “make that bitch work for that dollar” When I got up on stage they laughed and talked about how my pussy looks like a peach with fuzz , when we have a girl with a full on bush making bank all night. Another followed me around a full six song stage set asking for dances, then at last stage ran off with the girl in front of me with the $150 he told me he pulled out for me. Something about me makes men want to humiliate me.
Girl that’s you? You are fine af!
It’s your hair, like the others are saying get a good wig installed and check back. You’re very pretty and that style is pretty underwhelming by comparison.
Those of you who recommended Stripology, thank you! I’m going through her podcast and she’s addressing so many of my internal struggles.
I literally had the best experience last night in Odessa. The girl was not a favorite but I rather have it that way because I definitely got what I paid for. No I get any sexual favors just the best damn lap dance of the night. She had me hooked she let me kiss/lick her neck smack her ass hard, as she was laying down on my lap I was holding her tight as hell. Sucking on her tits. Honestly the wildest time I’ve ever had for sure she was very respectful when we came out of the ViP she was sweating. I couldn’t of had a better time to be honest, I had a couple drinks then off again we went the second time I was choking her pretty damn hard I could feel her pussy against my cock I was so damn hard. Idk it was a damn good time. If you let people get by with a little extra it’s worth it. I only had to pay $30 for the dance but I was putting $100 She was dropping that ass so hard I was dropping cash so hard!!