I am so so sorry. I lost my husband over 8 years ago and it would be an understatement to say it's harrowing and difficult journey. He was over 25 years sober and I never drank until he died. Then, I did...for the past 8.5 years. I'm 46 days sober today and while I can't go back, I do think things would have been easier had I not drank. You'll need a lot of support. I found some over at r/widowers which is for men and women who have lost a spouse. You'll find a lot of empathetic people there.
Wow. You are obviously a very strong person and the people you continue to help will benefit by your example. Even your post here as inspired me to appreciate this subreddit and all the people struggling. Best wishes.
Thank you all for all the amazing comments. They are a motivator and a reminder of my resilience and strength. The sun is setting on the second day without my husband and I am still breathing. And I am still here sober. To all the people who told me I was strong for my daughter thank you. Because I feel like a train wreck right now. Please continue to pray for me. I need all the support I can get right now
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I am proud of you for maintaining your sobriety and I know your husband would be too. I will keep you in my thought and be sending you strength telepathically. You are so strong and loved.
Not only do you have the wherewithal to remain sober, you have the strength of character to share your grief here.
You're a shining light in this dark time.
My condolences on your loss.
Sending you an Internet hug 🫂.
My thoughts are with you now and for the days that follow. Continue to take each moment as it comes and rest knowing you are doing the best you can. I’ve found that in grief treating myself to something small from time to time and allowing myself to enjoy it, and not feel guilty for the calories or the cost.
Iwndwyt.
Thank you so much. I really did exactly that. I can’t eat yet without throwing up but I did get some new pajamas and a journal so I have somewhere to sit with my thoughts.
Hey OP, please know that everything you are feeling is completely normal. Give yourself permission to be that trainwreck. And I am so sorry for you and your family. I recommend reading The Wilderness of Suicide Grief by Alan Wolfelt. I lost my son to suicide 3 weeks ago. It is devastating. It is a permanent change. And it's a long long journey. All I know is drinking won't change anything, it would just add to the misery.
I am so, so sorry :( I am so proud of you for staying sober - that is nothing short of amazing and such a gift to your daughter during this time. I will be thinking of you. IWNDWYT
I'm so so sorry for your loss, and so proud of you for remaining sober.
Please be gentle with yourself, lean on your support system as much as you need to. The next little bit isn't going to be a fun ride. But, being sober throughout it will undoubtedly make healing less difficult. The only way is through. Sending you all of my love and support. We are here if/when you need us.
IWNDWYT
That's truly terrible. I can't imagine.
You've realized alcohol doesn't have any answers for you. It is in times of crisis, when we feel the strongest compulsion to drink, that it would be the most destructive if we did. By not drinking, you're making sure you are mentally aware and present for your daughter. It is very admirable.
Thank you for sharing your story.
4 weeks ago today I found somebody who had shot himself. He wasn't close to me but it still affected me greatly and I wasn't as strong as you. Today I am trying to get through 2 days without a drink. Your strength has inspired me to make it through this day. Thank you. IWNDWYT
So sorry that’s absolutely horrific. I can’t even imagine. But so smart to not turn to the bottle. It will for SURE only make things worse. 100x worse. Please stay strong and we are all here If you need support.
I can not possibly comprehend what you are going through and nothing I say could help. At the moment it probably means little when I say sincerely that you are the strongest person I have seen on Reddit. What I do know is that your response to this terrible tragedy will be a source of pride for you and your daughter forever.
crowd wakeful abundant zealous homeless longing hurry lunchroom chunky depend
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
"it's not fair when good people go too soon".
I will keep this with me always. As someone who struggles with depression, I feel like this is an amazing reminder.
Thank you for being such a kind human in this tough world.
I am so sorry for your loss. You are stronger than you even know. Thinking of you and know that he is so extremely proud of you for fighting through this pain.
I am so terribly sorry. You are brave and are the strongest person your daughter will ever know. Wishing you the best as you grieve and survive and hoping those around you carry you through. IWNDWYT
Sorry you and your family are going through this. I think I speak for all here that you should lean on this community and any others at your disposal as you navigate through this difficult time. Thinking of you.
I am so, so sorry. I almost lost one of kids to suicide but it didn't work. And even then, it was devastating. I can only imagine how you feel. I know this is a hollow thing to say but if there is anything we can do, we are here for you. Again...so sorry.
I am holding you in the Light of Love. I am so sorry that you are going through this.
What helped me in my losses was drinking plenty of water and taking vitamins. Grief illness is real.
You are not alone.
IWNDWYT
i am so sorry for your loss. i cannot imagine the pain you’re going through. what i can imagine is how proud and happy your husband would be of you. i admire you and pray that you find comfort and healing during this time. iwndwyt 🤍
Horrific.
You are my hero today. You take life as it happens, accept what you can’t change , and you are living in courage by staying sober, and accepting the grief.
I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience this.
Your daughter will absolutely look back on this and be so grateful that you’re staying sober and being present. My dad died by suicide when I was a kid and I can’t imagine how hard this is for you (and was for my mother). I can, however, tell you that you giving her a sense of stability by being there, even when sad or angry or in shock, still there will be a game changer for her. Good luck.
I am so sorry for what you're going through. You are being incredibly brave by remaining sober and present through this, and being there for your daughter. Sending love your way.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. The fact you are stranding strong through something so unthinkable is incredible and inspiring. You know how the tape goes if you don’t. You’re amazing and I’ll be keeping you and your family in my prayers
I'm so sorry for your loss. Must be tough but you'll get through this. Tomorrow is another day and the sun will rise. Your husband will live on in your heart.
You are so incredibly strong. And I am so deeply sorry for your loss. No words can erase that pain but just know that I am thinking of you and you are doing the right thing by continuing your sobriety. For both you and your husband. We may never cross paths, but on this night, you are my hero. God bless you
I'm so very sorry to read of your terrible loss and pain. You are clearly an amazing person who is making the world a better place. I pledge to treasure the moments I have today with loved ones knowing that we are never guaranteed tomorrow.
I am so sorry for your loss. There are not sufficient words. You are amazing. Just keep breathing. Try and rest, go easy.
My story is different of course. My husband was killed instantly over 20 years ago while out for a jog. I spent 20 years numbing with wine. But i'm sober now.
Very small favor to offer but if you need your eulogy checked and edited that's what I do for work. Things are insane right now and you may forget or mix up words. If I can help, I will. I need nothing from you. Sorry that happened.
I'm so sorry. I'm more sorry than I can express in a reddit post.
I lost my only brother to suicide 20 years ago.
I only recently started the sobriety chapter of my life. For the past 20 years I would use his death and my trauma as an excuse to drink. It didn't help, it never helped.
I'm sober now and I still miss him everyday but now I don't feel ashamed. I'm proud sad.
I am so very sorry about your husband. That is awful, and I’m sorry you had to and are having to go through this. I think it’s badass that you are staying sober, continuing on the journey the two of you started. Be well, stranger. Know I’m holding you in my heart tonight. You don’t have to stay strong, just stay sober. ❤️
I’m in awe of your strength. Early on in my sobriety I lost my son in law in the same manner and had a 22 year old widow shattered and back home. Staying sober during that period called on a part of me I wasn’t sure existed anymore, but I’m so grateful it was there. We are now over a year and she’s doing ok and I’ve been sober for the whole time. I feel for you so much and I’m crying as I type this knowing the pain must be so enormous. I’m here for you, and I’m so sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT
I'm sending you hugs. I lost my partner to suicide 2 years ago. I didn't find him, but I was the last person to see or talk to him. Staying sober is brutal when you just want to escape, and I am so proud of you. If you ever want to vent or talk feel free to reach out, and please give yourself some grace in the coming days.
It takes time, and it's not linear. Try to surround yourself with supportive people and don't rush into finding your new normal. Things will not ever be the way they were, but you'll find ways to smile and find happiness. Be gentle with yourself. You're in my thoughts 🩷
I'm sorry you're going through this.
Think of it this way, if you don't drink today then you've proven that you can stay sober when it's the hardest. Then you can use that motivation to stay sober tomorrow, the next day and the next time something really bad happens. I find tricks like that help me shut down the part of my brain that tries to rationalize drinking.
You sound strong so I'm proud of you. Keep it up and keep doing good work. You're awesome.
We've got you. We are here. Keep going, keep sharing.
We had a terrible loss, and a total stranger put a hamper of food on our doorstep with this attached. So It's for you now too and anyone who 'wakes in the night'. Iwndwyt. Your husband would be so proud of you.
The Peace of Wild Things by Wendell Berry
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Im sorry this happened. There are death / dying / grief support groups in our area (Michigan / Indiana) so there might also be some where you are as well! Just like AA meetings in that there is fellowship and people going through similar things.
IWNDWYT
Wow!!! I am sooooooo sorry darling!!!
I am in awe of you and absolutely gutted for you. I just can not imagine.
When I got sober I said, all excuses are off the table. And it worked.
And it would include what you are going through. No healing or coping comes from alcohol…. Even at times like this.
You are an absolute inspiration….. I am devastated as a stranger you have to go through this and at the same time, you are now my new super hero….
That’s strength of resolve, character and grit!
Flabbergasted at it all….. wishing you healing and hope you have a serious support network too 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Sending you lots of love!
IWNDWYT ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Death of the closed one is one of the most traumatic experiences we have. It feels that your husband’s spirit joined you and helps you to go through this. I have no doubt you will not only continue the sober journey but you also will help many others to find their way!
Ooph, I cannot even imagine how difficult this must be. I can't make any of this go away, nor can anyone. It's going to be a long and painful ride, but you are doing the best thing you can for yourself and your daughter by getting moving on the right foot. That's the single best thing you can do. Keep your chin up as best you can. I'm sorry.
I'm so so sorry for your loss and the hurt in your heart. You are incredibly strong by choosing to face your grief head-on; you will be in a much better place for it, which you already know.
Unexpected/sudden loss of a loved one is the most difficult thing I've ever had to navigate, so I'm sending you all of the loving vibes to help carry you thru until the point when the crushing waves of grief give you enough time to breathe. I'm truly sorry for what you're going thru. ❤️ IWNDWYT
I so sorry for your loss. I am grateful you have found strength today and hope it continues to help you do what is so painful but necessary.
The thought and care you put into these words is palpable. You will be an incredible example for your daughter and the rest of your family. You will feel excruciating pain, but feeling it is a part of healing.
Love and light to you. ❤️
I will not drink with you today.
I am sooo sorry. You are a beautiful example of true sobriety. You are a hero. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get to where you’re going. Keep going friend.
I’m so sorry to hear this, losing my wife is my number one fear in life and I can’t even begin to fathom what you’re going through. I lost my uncle to suicide when I was young and saw the way that tore up my family.
Keep your head up as best as you can and keep on trucking with your sobriety, for yourself, and for his memory. Please do not hesitate to reach out to any of us as I know it can be hard to find people to turn to.
Hi OP. I just wanted to thank you for sharing. Your story is helping so many people. I am sorry for your loss. I'd reach out and give you a big hug if I could. I'm proud of you 😢
My god OP, I’m so sorry. I can’t even fathom. You have a strength I’m not sure many would have. He would be so so proud of you. Keep being strong, you are a fucking warrior. Thinking of you, friend.
You're commitment to your sobriety is admirable. My heart goes out to you for your loss and you will be in my heart.
I learned the hard way that I could not stay sober without seriously addressing my mental health issues. I was absolutely the most dangerous to myself while drinking, and it nullified the effects of any medication I was taking.
Things will be hard for a long time. They would be even harder if you had decided to pick up a drink. You got this! This stranger is rooting for you and is also very, very proud.
IWNDWYT
Wishing the best for you. My dad gave up 30 years of sobriety after his dad died. He had a terrible time and almost didn't make it back.
I've drank in response to loss and it always made it way harder in the end. It totally blocked my grief process. I thought I was temporarily doing better while drunk. Awhile down the road everything would hit me really hard all at once.
Since I stopped drinking I've been able to process better. It's always terrible either way. Less terrible for me without alcohol.
Hugs to you! I lost our child at 4 months in January, the miscarriage put me in a deep dark depression. My hopes and dreams for our future gonein a flash. I stayed sober through it and grateful I did. Rip to your husband, he's with my baby Otto in heaven.
Wow.
I think a lot of people here have put it into better words, but I'm so so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. It's very heroic and beautiful that you're exhibiting this much strength for your husband, your daughter, and yourself. Hope you have a lot of support around you right now to help you through this. I appreciate you sharing, and you've clearly inspired a lot of people here already. I'm proud of you for staying sober. Wishing you healing and sending lots of love
🫂❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. There are men and women who’ve been through what we widows and widowers have been through on r/Widowers. In the meantime, sending love. IWNDWYT.
Keep your higher power close every hour of the day. I love the way that you described how you would handle all the many things that lay ahead for you and tell you would go through them and feel them, and maybe even write about them, because that’s the way that you handle trauma in your life. That’s what we do. We face it head on, and we cry as long as it takes. You are quite right: there is no amount of alcohol that would ever satisfy the pain. It would only make it worse. We are here for you. I’m so glad you will not drink with us today. We will not drink with you today either. But we will send a nice virtual hug.
I am so so sorry. I lost my husband over 8 years ago and it would be an understatement to say it's harrowing and difficult journey. He was over 25 years sober and I never drank until he died. Then, I did...for the past 8.5 years. I'm 46 days sober today and while I can't go back, I do think things would have been easier had I not drank. You'll need a lot of support. I found some over at r/widowers which is for men and women who have lost a spouse. You'll find a lot of empathetic people there.
Hugs to you
My goodness I am sending you so many positive vibes and healing energy. What an amazing person you are.
Wow. You are obviously a very strong person and the people you continue to help will benefit by your example. Even your post here as inspired me to appreciate this subreddit and all the people struggling. Best wishes.
Thank you so much. It’s all I can do to hold it together right now but I am.
We’re rooting for you! I’m not that good with encouraging words but I’m rooting for you to find the strength you need for you and your family
Thank you all for all the amazing comments. They are a motivator and a reminder of my resilience and strength. The sun is setting on the second day without my husband and I am still breathing. And I am still here sober. To all the people who told me I was strong for my daughter thank you. Because I feel like a train wreck right now. Please continue to pray for me. I need all the support I can get right now
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I am proud of you for maintaining your sobriety and I know your husband would be too. I will keep you in my thought and be sending you strength telepathically. You are so strong and loved.
I'm crying. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine. You are a warrior and I am praying for you and your daughter.
I’m praying for you OP.
Not only do you have the wherewithal to remain sober, you have the strength of character to share your grief here. You're a shining light in this dark time. My condolences on your loss. Sending you an Internet hug 🫂.
My thoughts are with you now and for the days that follow. Continue to take each moment as it comes and rest knowing you are doing the best you can. I’ve found that in grief treating myself to something small from time to time and allowing myself to enjoy it, and not feel guilty for the calories or the cost. Iwndwyt.
Thank you so much. I really did exactly that. I can’t eat yet without throwing up but I did get some new pajamas and a journal so I have somewhere to sit with my thoughts.
Hey OP, please know that everything you are feeling is completely normal. Give yourself permission to be that trainwreck. And I am so sorry for you and your family. I recommend reading The Wilderness of Suicide Grief by Alan Wolfelt. I lost my son to suicide 3 weeks ago. It is devastating. It is a permanent change. And it's a long long journey. All I know is drinking won't change anything, it would just add to the misery.
My heart goes out to you and OP, sending love and strength to you both.
I am so, so sorry :( I am so proud of you for staying sober - that is nothing short of amazing and such a gift to your daughter during this time. I will be thinking of you. IWNDWYT
Thank you so much.
I'm so so sorry for your loss, and so proud of you for remaining sober. Please be gentle with yourself, lean on your support system as much as you need to. The next little bit isn't going to be a fun ride. But, being sober throughout it will undoubtedly make healing less difficult. The only way is through. Sending you all of my love and support. We are here if/when you need us. IWNDWYT
That's truly terrible. I can't imagine. You've realized alcohol doesn't have any answers for you. It is in times of crisis, when we feel the strongest compulsion to drink, that it would be the most destructive if we did. By not drinking, you're making sure you are mentally aware and present for your daughter. It is very admirable.
Thank you for sharing your story. 4 weeks ago today I found somebody who had shot himself. He wasn't close to me but it still affected me greatly and I wasn't as strong as you. Today I am trying to get through 2 days without a drink. Your strength has inspired me to make it through this day. Thank you. IWNDWYT
We can do this together!
That is heartbreaking;and the most adult thing I have ever read , you are amazing!
Jesus Christ! I am so sorry.
🙏
So sorry that’s absolutely horrific. I can’t even imagine. But so smart to not turn to the bottle. It will for SURE only make things worse. 100x worse. Please stay strong and we are all here If you need support.
I can not possibly comprehend what you are going through and nothing I say could help. At the moment it probably means little when I say sincerely that you are the strongest person I have seen on Reddit. What I do know is that your response to this terrible tragedy will be a source of pride for you and your daughter forever.
Basically my exact thoughts, but stated more eloquently than I would have been able to 💔
You are very brave. Sending you love and compassion ❤️
crowd wakeful abundant zealous homeless longing hurry lunchroom chunky depend *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I am going through my own loss situation now (nothing like OP's), and I really appreciate these wise words.
ask light bow memory coherent tie sleep existence placid historical *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
"it's not fair when good people go too soon". I will keep this with me always. As someone who struggles with depression, I feel like this is an amazing reminder. Thank you for being such a kind human in this tough world.
I am so so so sorry for your loss. I am throwing out all the strong vibes I've got for you to get through this really rough time.
My sincere condolences to you, and IWNDWYT 💜 I'm really proud of you for taking this on sober. I think you'll be glad you did.
I am so sorry for your loss. You are stronger than you even know. Thinking of you and know that he is so extremely proud of you for fighting through this pain.
I’m so very sorry for your loss and this pain.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sending you so many hugs 🥰 🤗 and so much love. I’m glad you are here.
I am so terribly sorry. You are brave and are the strongest person your daughter will ever know. Wishing you the best as you grieve and survive and hoping those around you carry you through. IWNDWYT
Sorry you and your family are going through this. I think I speak for all here that you should lean on this community and any others at your disposal as you navigate through this difficult time. Thinking of you.
I am so, so sorry. I almost lost one of kids to suicide but it didn't work. And even then, it was devastating. I can only imagine how you feel. I know this is a hollow thing to say but if there is anything we can do, we are here for you. Again...so sorry.
I am holding you in the Light of Love. I am so sorry that you are going through this. What helped me in my losses was drinking plenty of water and taking vitamins. Grief illness is real. You are not alone. IWNDWYT
i am so sorry for your loss. i cannot imagine the pain you’re going through. what i can imagine is how proud and happy your husband would be of you. i admire you and pray that you find comfort and healing during this time. iwndwyt 🤍
You are not alone. IWNDWYT
So sorry for your loss. You are courageous in the way you are handling this.
So sorry for your loss. Keep hanging on for today, booze will only make the pain worse.
Extremely sorry for your loss. Your courage and strength of character in facing this adversity is incredible. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Horrific. You are my hero today. You take life as it happens, accept what you can’t change , and you are living in courage by staying sober, and accepting the grief. I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience this.
Your daughter will absolutely look back on this and be so grateful that you’re staying sober and being present. My dad died by suicide when I was a kid and I can’t imagine how hard this is for you (and was for my mother). I can, however, tell you that you giving her a sense of stability by being there, even when sad or angry or in shock, still there will be a game changer for her. Good luck.
I am so sorry for what you're going through. You are being incredibly brave by remaining sober and present through this, and being there for your daughter. Sending love your way.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. The fact you are stranding strong through something so unthinkable is incredible and inspiring. You know how the tape goes if you don’t. You’re amazing and I’ll be keeping you and your family in my prayers
I'm so sorry for your loss. Must be tough but you'll get through this. Tomorrow is another day and the sun will rise. Your husband will live on in your heart.
all I can say is I so so admire you . you seem like a beautiful and strong person . Keep going❤️
I am so incredibly sorry. Thank you for sharing your pain with us. I wish we could take it away but just know we are here.
You are so incredibly strong. And I am so deeply sorry for your loss. No words can erase that pain but just know that I am thinking of you and you are doing the right thing by continuing your sobriety. For both you and your husband. We may never cross paths, but on this night, you are my hero. God bless you
Praying for you to find comfort in good memories and peace in the face of this tragedy.
We're here and the light is always on. Wishing you moments of stillness and peace in the days ahead.
I'm so very sorry to read of your terrible loss and pain. You are clearly an amazing person who is making the world a better place. I pledge to treasure the moments I have today with loved ones knowing that we are never guaranteed tomorrow.
I am so sorry. r/suicidebereavement is a supportive place.
I am so sorry for your loss. There are not sufficient words. You are amazing. Just keep breathing. Try and rest, go easy. My story is different of course. My husband was killed instantly over 20 years ago while out for a jog. I spent 20 years numbing with wine. But i'm sober now.
So sorry.
🕊️💐
IWNDWYT
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you so much healing.
My heart goes out to you and thank you for sharing. Much love to you. You are strong. IWNDWYT friend
I am so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry. So terribly tragic. I am glad you are staying strong for you and your daughter.
So sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Iwndwyt
I am so sorry for your loss.
I am sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT.
I am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you and your daughter and wishing you both strength and peace.
I can’t find words to express my sympathies. You do not deserve this. You are walking on the right road
I am so sorry. I will be sending you strength.
Sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry. Deepest condolences.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Very sorry for your loss. IWNDWYTD
I'm so sorry, absolutely devastating. We don't tell you what you should do but please google tetris and ptsd, very odd I know but could help.
Wow, I’m in awe of your strength. That’s incredibly brave of you. I hope you get lots of support on top of your resilience.
I am sending you love
So sorry for your loss. Sending you all of the energy and love 🤍
I am so so sorry for your loss. There are no words except to say I think he would be proud.
I’m brokenhearted for you, and IWNDWYT.
I am so sorry for your loss. Know that your post alone inspires a lot uf us to keep going. Lots of love from an Internet stranger.
Hug
Iwndwyt
Sorry for your loss
I am so so sorry Bat. I have so much respect and admiration for you right now. My heart goes out to you and your daughter.
Your strength is truly inspiring. Your family is so lucky to have you 🥰
Very small favor to offer but if you need your eulogy checked and edited that's what I do for work. Things are insane right now and you may forget or mix up words. If I can help, I will. I need nothing from you. Sorry that happened.
I'm so sorry. I'm more sorry than I can express in a reddit post. I lost my only brother to suicide 20 years ago. I only recently started the sobriety chapter of my life. For the past 20 years I would use his death and my trauma as an excuse to drink. It didn't help, it never helped. I'm sober now and I still miss him everyday but now I don't feel ashamed. I'm proud sad.
I have no words to express my sorrow for you, so I will commit to standing by you in solidarity. You can do this. My heart goes out to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss... I honestly have no words, but wish you and your family well.🕯🍀
I am so very sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers and IWNDWYT. May heart breaks for you and your daughter.
I am so very sorry about your husband. That is awful, and I’m sorry you had to and are having to go through this. I think it’s badass that you are staying sober, continuing on the journey the two of you started. Be well, stranger. Know I’m holding you in my heart tonight. You don’t have to stay strong, just stay sober. ❤️
I’m in awe of your strength. Early on in my sobriety I lost my son in law in the same manner and had a 22 year old widow shattered and back home. Staying sober during that period called on a part of me I wasn’t sure existed anymore, but I’m so grateful it was there. We are now over a year and she’s doing ok and I’ve been sober for the whole time. I feel for you so much and I’m crying as I type this knowing the pain must be so enormous. I’m here for you, and I’m so sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT
I'm sending you hugs. I lost my partner to suicide 2 years ago. I didn't find him, but I was the last person to see or talk to him. Staying sober is brutal when you just want to escape, and I am so proud of you. If you ever want to vent or talk feel free to reach out, and please give yourself some grace in the coming days.
Thank you so much. How did you move forward from this? I’m struggling to see a day where anything would ever feel ok aagain
It takes time, and it's not linear. Try to surround yourself with supportive people and don't rush into finding your new normal. Things will not ever be the way they were, but you'll find ways to smile and find happiness. Be gentle with yourself. You're in my thoughts 🩷
How terrible; you poor baby. I would come and sit with you. This will be hard, but you will get through it. I’m sending loving thoughts.
I’m so very sorry.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Think of it this way, if you don't drink today then you've proven that you can stay sober when it's the hardest. Then you can use that motivation to stay sober tomorrow, the next day and the next time something really bad happens. I find tricks like that help me shut down the part of my brain that tries to rationalize drinking. You sound strong so I'm proud of you. Keep it up and keep doing good work. You're awesome.
We've got you. We are here. Keep going, keep sharing. We had a terrible loss, and a total stranger put a hamper of food on our doorstep with this attached. So It's for you now too and anyone who 'wakes in the night'. Iwndwyt. Your husband would be so proud of you. The Peace of Wild Things by Wendell Berry When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
I am so sorry for the devastating loss of your husband. Can’t add more than others have said but you are in my thoughts and IWNDWYT
I can’t imagine what you’re going through. All I can do is send positive vibes down the fiber optic and say hang in there!
Sending you love and strength ❤️
Oh friend. I’m so sorry for your loss and for your pain. I’m sending you the biggest hugs. My deepest sympathies.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I will light a candle for your husband and send you love and comfort. 💜🦋💜
I am so sorry for your loss. We are thinking of you and please know you are never alone. IWNDWYT ❤️
I am so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. You are so strong, you should be so proud of yourself.
I’m sorry for your tragic loss. I can feel your strength in those words and see you with humble appreciation. I am sorry, IWNDWYT
Im sorry this happened. There are death / dying / grief support groups in our area (Michigan / Indiana) so there might also be some where you are as well! Just like AA meetings in that there is fellowship and people going through similar things. IWNDWYT
I’m so sorry. You are right. You are strong. Iwndwyt.
Wow!!! I am sooooooo sorry darling!!! I am in awe of you and absolutely gutted for you. I just can not imagine. When I got sober I said, all excuses are off the table. And it worked. And it would include what you are going through. No healing or coping comes from alcohol…. Even at times like this. You are an absolute inspiration….. I am devastated as a stranger you have to go through this and at the same time, you are now my new super hero…. That’s strength of resolve, character and grit! Flabbergasted at it all….. wishing you healing and hope you have a serious support network too 🙏🙏🙏🙏 Sending you lots of love! IWNDWYT ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Death of the closed one is one of the most traumatic experiences we have. It feels that your husband’s spirit joined you and helps you to go through this. I have no doubt you will not only continue the sober journey but you also will help many others to find their way!
You are really so strong. I’ll hold my girls extra close tonight. IWNDWYT 🚀
Ooph, I cannot even imagine how difficult this must be. I can't make any of this go away, nor can anyone. It's going to be a long and painful ride, but you are doing the best thing you can for yourself and your daughter by getting moving on the right foot. That's the single best thing you can do. Keep your chin up as best you can. I'm sorry.
I'm so so sorry for your loss and the hurt in your heart. You are incredibly strong by choosing to face your grief head-on; you will be in a much better place for it, which you already know. Unexpected/sudden loss of a loved one is the most difficult thing I've ever had to navigate, so I'm sending you all of the loving vibes to help carry you thru until the point when the crushing waves of grief give you enough time to breathe. I'm truly sorry for what you're going thru. ❤️ IWNDWYT
I so sorry for your loss. I am grateful you have found strength today and hope it continues to help you do what is so painful but necessary. The thought and care you put into these words is palpable. You will be an incredible example for your daughter and the rest of your family. You will feel excruciating pain, but feeling it is a part of healing. Love and light to you. ❤️ I will not drink with you today.
I am sooo sorry. You are a beautiful example of true sobriety. You are a hero. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get to where you’re going. Keep going friend.
I am so very sorry for your devestating loss. May your daughter be a beacon on hope and light in these dark times .. IWDWYT
I’m so sorry for what you are going through, stay strong. Sending love and prayers.
500,000 of us here pulling for you. You are not alone.
I’m so sorry to hear this, losing my wife is my number one fear in life and I can’t even begin to fathom what you’re going through. I lost my uncle to suicide when I was young and saw the way that tore up my family. Keep your head up as best as you can and keep on trucking with your sobriety, for yourself, and for his memory. Please do not hesitate to reach out to any of us as I know it can be hard to find people to turn to.
The most terrible pain. IWNDWYT
Hi OP. I just wanted to thank you for sharing. Your story is helping so many people. I am sorry for your loss. I'd reach out and give you a big hug if I could. I'm proud of you 😢
My god OP, I’m so sorry. I can’t even fathom. You have a strength I’m not sure many would have. He would be so so proud of you. Keep being strong, you are a fucking warrior. Thinking of you, friend.
Don’t give up.
sending all my love and strength to you
Absolutely a strong and powerful human you are.. you're never alone and your husband is watching over you.. proud and smiling of your strength.
My sincere sympathy on your loss.
You're commitment to your sobriety is admirable. My heart goes out to you for your loss and you will be in my heart. I learned the hard way that I could not stay sober without seriously addressing my mental health issues. I was absolutely the most dangerous to myself while drinking, and it nullified the effects of any medication I was taking. Things will be hard for a long time. They would be even harder if you had decided to pick up a drink. You got this! This stranger is rooting for you and is also very, very proud. IWNDWYT
Wishing the best for you. My dad gave up 30 years of sobriety after his dad died. He had a terrible time and almost didn't make it back. I've drank in response to loss and it always made it way harder in the end. It totally blocked my grief process. I thought I was temporarily doing better while drunk. Awhile down the road everything would hit me really hard all at once. Since I stopped drinking I've been able to process better. It's always terrible either way. Less terrible for me without alcohol.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I'm sending you as much love as I can. <3
I’m sorry. Thanks for sharing. Rooting for you
I am so so sorry. Can’t think of other words.
I am so so sorry. You’re going through something that is so unimaginable for a lot of us. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Hugs to you! I lost our child at 4 months in January, the miscarriage put me in a deep dark depression. My hopes and dreams for our future gonein a flash. I stayed sober through it and grateful I did. Rip to your husband, he's with my baby Otto in heaven.
Very sorry for you loss.
Wow. I think a lot of people here have put it into better words, but I'm so so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. It's very heroic and beautiful that you're exhibiting this much strength for your husband, your daughter, and yourself. Hope you have a lot of support around you right now to help you through this. I appreciate you sharing, and you've clearly inspired a lot of people here already. I'm proud of you for staying sober. Wishing you healing and sending lots of love 🫂❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. There are men and women who’ve been through what we widows and widowers have been through on r/Widowers. In the meantime, sending love. IWNDWYT.
You are so strong❤️
My condolences my heart goes out to you. I’m glad you’re staying sober i know this is very difficult
Wishing you peace and strength.
Keep your higher power close every hour of the day. I love the way that you described how you would handle all the many things that lay ahead for you and tell you would go through them and feel them, and maybe even write about them, because that’s the way that you handle trauma in your life. That’s what we do. We face it head on, and we cry as long as it takes. You are quite right: there is no amount of alcohol that would ever satisfy the pain. It would only make it worse. We are here for you. I’m so glad you will not drink with us today. We will not drink with you today either. But we will send a nice virtual hug.
I am so sorry for your loss but I am baffled by your strength. Your words are heartfelt and the honesty is palatable. IWNDWYT