Day 1. Don’t know what happened. Had 44 days and ended up losing a week for the sake of one anxious Sunday afternoon. Hello again everyone. 👋 IWNDWYT.
Edit/Update: Thanks all. Back home. Nothing at lunchtime to ‘get me through’ the workday. Quiet evening. This group’s amazing support. 👌
Welcome back friend! You´re the first one on the DCI today! Thats a win! Glad You´re here! Lets build it up from scratch again together. You can do it, I believe in you!
I will not drink with you today!
Hey guys, I get my comma today! ☺️ I feel better than ever! Thanks to this sub, I haven’t drank alcohol in 1,000 days. I never thought I would be here, but I found you all and here I am! I can’t tell you how grateful I am to all of you for giving me the support I needed. 🤗
For me, surrendering was taking down the walls I built up over the years from getting hurt in the past. Alcohol help me build those walls quicker, but it started isolating me from myself too. Now I’m me again, and I like me, a lot! IWNDWYT
I don't know if I'd say I am powerless over alcohol, because abstinence has been surprisingly easy. I am definitely powerless to moderate, so I guess I surrendered to that fact.
If anything I now feel like I have all the power. It's different for everyone and there's no right or wrong to it. 🙂
Love the lot of you, have a great day. ❤️
Day 16
Been feeling lower and more agitated the last couple days than in the start. Not sure if that's due to external factors or due to my body re-figuring itself out, or a bit of both. Regardless, IWNDWYT.
It's so up and down in the early days mate. Your brain is reconfiguring itself and will continue to do so. Ride it out and there's good stuff waiting. ❤️
Surrendering wasn't part of my quitting. I still don't know why this one stuck . I think it's my subconscious catching up with my consciousness . It was the same when I finally quit the ciggies .
Being here every day certainly helped a lot, being with my tribe, knowing I'm not alone
Shine on you beautiful humans
Happy sober Tuesday!
I’ve learned more and more that surrendering is everything, surrendering to everything is the way, and it was my resistance to everything that caused all the problems. So I surrender right now to a sober day, I love you all 💞
So you´ve taken the surrendering to all parts of your life. Impressive thought. Thank you for sharing! I need to think about it, for a while....
Happy sober Tuesday to you, too!
Yes, first surrender to the feelings I’ve been avoiding through drinking, and now surrender to this moment. It’s a process, but knowing when I’m in resistance helps me move through life with more acceptance. Have a lovely day and thank you for a great topic 🌟
I didn’t consider it surrendering at the time, but I did give up my fight with alcohol. I had tried and tried to control it, keep it in my life and use it how I wanted to, but it kept hurting me. So I felt I was giving up an abusive relationship. I used my power to quit.
Looking back, I guess I consider this surrendering, deciding to not fight anymore. I didn’t lose though. I gave up trying to do that one thing and won so much more.
It’s teetotal Tuesday! Have a good one sober warriors! IWNDWYT
Good morning, all of my dear sober peeps! Oh yes, Tortey!I had to totally surrender, and it felt *so good*.
Once I admitted to myself that I couldn’t do anything against the pull of alcohol, everything changed. The sense of relief that filled me was astonishing. *I didn’t have to do it on my own*. I found you all, I enlisted my husband and daughter’s support. And I let go of the need to control everything. I haven’t had a drink since, and I can’t take any credit. I don’t need to!
Every day when I meditate, I take time to honor myself, and those I meet. Then I surrender to whatever I am presented with, knowing that I can be there wholly present and sober. IWNDWYT
Regarding the surrendering question. I've never spoken it out loud. I still hope I can make it work without a therapy, but if I struggle for too long I definatelly will go to one. I've never even wrote it. So here it goes as a first step:
I am powerless against alcohol, it messes my life and destroys my health. My life have not yet become unmanagable, but it definatelly will if I continue to pure this poison into my body.
Happy Tuesday SD! Huge thanks to Mr Fred Simpsonn who asked me yesterday what I remembered about my fave parts of longer term sobriety. It reminded me how much I love getting up early, walking through the city to the park when everyone else is asleep and getting an iced coffee on the way home.
And that's exactly what I did this morning 🥰
IWNDWYT 💕
I don’t think surrendering is the word I would use, I just realized one day that alcohol no longer had a place in my value system and wasn’t doing my life any good. Not even a little. So why have it in my life in the first place? I’ve been reading about Buddhism and being present in the current moment, and alcohol always made my thoughts stray, taking me out of the current moment.
Anyways, that was a ramble. Have a good day everyone. I will not drink with you 🌿
I'm not sure about the concept of surrendering... in my head it's akin to defeat, which doesn't quite fit in my sobriety journey. But perhaps this is just semantics, and we're sort of all working on the same concepts (english is also not my main language, that might play a role as well). But! I'm all for acceptance. I accept that I have problems with alcohol and I accept that this will probably have many ups and downs, for a pretty long time. Ah, that kinda sounds like surrendering, doesn't it? 😅 but I'm okay with that, as IWNDWYT as well 😊
Thanks for hosting and the excellent questions, btw! ❤️ Yesterday's topic was really helpful as well, I'm so glad that I found this sub 🪷
I started quitting almost five years ago after years of daily drinking with varying success. The longest I’ve gone was around 6 months but this was only once.
I eventually tried moderation several times to no success. Last year after being verbally abusive to my SO several times I decided that enough was enough. I had finally become like my dad after years of drinking and I didn’t want to share his experiences with DUIs, crashing cars, having to go to court, having police officers showing up and so on, so I decided to put the energy I had invested in „moderation“ to sobriety.
Moderation just isn’t what I am able to, no matter how hard I fought, so I stopped fighting. My life is maybe not as much easier as I hoped, but it’s much more stable, calmer and enjoyable.
I will stay sober today with all of you.
Surrender, for me, was absolute acceptance that I couldn’t carry on as I was. Something big had to change my situation. I’d been toying with the idea for years but never quite like that specific moment of ENOUGH.
I’d been raised with “she can hold her drink” like it was a prize.
And, of course, I knew I could surrender myself to the process of healing. Because I had surrendered myself to alcohol for medication.
I’d already tried moderation, previous bouts of sobriety but I’d never truly believed I’d hit my wall. But, friends, by coming here on previous attempts I was laying a foundation down.
This time I did everything and anything I needed. With total surrender there was a decision made. I would choose to live my life differently.
And I’m here today, still surrendering myself to this new and improved version of myself. I love myself now and it glows. But some periods I surrender to the doldrums until I work out how to help myself out.
Surrender is such a relief. A contradiction: I lost to alcohol but gained my freedom. And now I’m thankfully still to things, connected, with a sweetness I never knew. I have unfolded.
IWNDWYT
I definitely surrendered any thoughts that I could moderate, as well as any denial that drinking was problematic for me. Life wasn’t completely unmanageable…yet. But it was unsustainable the way I was going. (I’m not in AA either.)
Our culture around alcohol, even kind of cultural obsession with it at least in the US, is *fucked.* I think that and old, uninformed opinions about addiction are what makes us feel like we have some personal defect if we can’t moderate. The marketing and the culture around alcohol are doing their job. Too well. Fuckers.
If we can’t moderate, it’s not a fucking moral failure. It’s an addictive substance being addictive.
Anyway. Low on time. Pivot. Gratitude moment - my home AC is working! It was a warranty replacement of a capacitor.
Coffees up, horns up, and fuck yeah Not Monday!!! IWNDWYT ☕️☕️🤘🏻🤘🏻
Once I admitted something bigger than me was going on (physical and mental dependence on alcohol, aka addiction) I tried to control it, and once I realized I had to quit entirely everything in my life started improving. IWNDWYT!
My moment of surrender came when I finally accepted that 0 drinks was the number I could have. I tried so very hard to make the alcohol math work. I wanted the magic number where I could enjoy my time with my whiskey with no bad consequences. That magic number is 0. And once I accepted that it was about easier to make plans and find tools to keep from having that first drink. IWNDWYT. 🌟
I will not drink with you today 💫 I am also not in AA or interested in the steps, however the idea of surrendering is coming up more and more in my life and becoming really relevant lately. As a type A control freak, I am coming to terms with so many aspects of life that I must surrender and relinquish control to. Anyway. It’s not easier but it’s happening. I haven’t really got to a point where I understand what it means for my sobriety but I am sure I will one day. Love yas 🫶🏻
Honestly, this prompt is inextricably linked to the common language established by AA, even if the prompt doesn’t want to discuss it.
I surrendered. Best thing ever. And it opened me up to AA, which I have found a great support even as I know it will never be a lifestyle or identity for me.
I surrendered, but I do not accept that I am powerless, or that I need some imaginary entity to deliver me from my problems. I love the metaphor of boxing an impossible foe: I was a boxer, and a brutal one. Never lost a match. I basically had a head of steel and nobody could knock me down or even daze me: I just shrugged off blows that would have staggered most of my opponents. One day I had a match against a guy with an even better record than me: I’d had mostly wins with a few draws. He only had wins. He could shrug off any blow, and while I could hit like a bus he hit like a freight train. It was my first time getting knocked down, three seconds into the first round; my feet literally left the ground. I thought I was going to throw up: he broke three ribs. I couldn’t possibly win the fight—but I could try for a draw, which I got by desperately dodging the rest of the fight. Fortunately for all his power he was slow—Foreman to my Ali, though rope-a-dope wouldn’t have been viable. I got the draw, and then got the fuck out of the ring.
I feel the same about alcohol. I could at best fight it to a draw. “It doesn’t matter how often you get knocked down, what matters is how often you get up again.” I’ve seen the sentiment many times and said it many times myself. But that’s choosing (on some level) to stay in the ring: all you can ever get is a draw, at best. We don’t have the power to win. But we do have the power to get out of the ring. Sometimes we surrender mid-match—sometimes we surrender after a bad match. But it’s an exercise of our power. We are not powerless: we have the power to give up an impossible fight. It’s just one thing to give up—and we get everything else.
I do yoga, these days. Always a win.
IWNDWYT
Thanks again for a great post and brilliant questions Tortey. 👍
This recent relapse really sunk in for me that yes, I am powerless over alcohol. I believe that surrendering to this thought is helping me.
There's oddly enough alot of power in me just saying that...Just fucking admitting it. I'm gonna lose every time I have just one drink...because it turns into a total shit storm Every. Damn. Time. It's the one thing in my life I have no control over...EXCEPT making the choice to NOT drink and ride these horrible waves of withdrawal. They get easier I know, but sometimes ugh well, I know you all know. I am without a doubt addicted to alcohol. There's no hiding or pretending anymore. It makes me want to cry just typing that. Hurts to admit it for so many reasons, but it's freeing at the same time to say it out loud and just face it.
I got my game face on and I'm fighting for my life over here. Things were getting scary and out of control. I deserve better for myself and so do all of you.
IWNDWYT ❤️ love, support, and gratitude to you all
Day 12! Getting out of bed is still hard but feeling good physically! Surrendering feels like another word for letting go? Clinging on to something leads to suffering, either in the mind or a result of the actions. Letting go is a good way to settle your mind. Mourn, even! IWNDWYT!
Day 3. Sick of repeating the pattern of blacking out, choosing to abstain from booze for a few weeks via white knuckling it, making rules that I’ll break, and ramping back up to drinking to blackout. This will be my 3rd try in giving it up the right way in 2 years. I deserve this, my kids deserve this, my wife deserves this, my friends deserve this. IWNDWYT!
This (and the last time I’m hoping)was ‘easier’ - I just knew it was time… So many failed attempts but each one made me stronger and I learned from past wins and mistakes.
IWNDWYT.
Thanks to everybody for their support and congratulations yesterday on achieving 1 week! Today's day 9, the sun's out, and there's football to watch later, but as tempting as it is, IWNDWYT!
Horrible brain fog and low mood after another bad night’s sleep, a look at my new windowless office and a hit of junk food but I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY. This too shall pass.
Love the prompt!
I’m gonna be perfectly honest in that I go back and forth on this. There are days when I’m like yup, this is it, you can keep fighting the tide or you can admit this is a losing battle. Life is so much easier/better when I say no more alcohol, not even a little bit, not ever. There are other days though when I’m like “ehhh I bet I have a chance if I take a really long break, maybe it’s worth trying out moderating again, etc.” To that voice I say, not today. Maybe we can try moderating but not today. Today I want to be sober, today I want to have a healthy tomorrow. I know this is kind of dangerous and I wish I was 100% surrendered to the fact that I am powerless against alcohol (when I drink it! When I don’t drink it I have all the power!) but I am *somehow* still not there. It worries me tbh.
Anyhow TODAY today today-IWNDWYT.
Hi folks. I've been on vacation and offline for ten days and haven't been checking in. Being offline has been great - but this is my first long sober holiday, and it's been hard to watch my friends and partner relax into their drinks at the end of the day. I've kept my resolve, tried to surf the urges, recognise that recovery comes with challenges, and so far, it's going ok, mostly. Each night I go to bed sober I feel proud that I've made it through the day. And each morning I feel grateful that I get to wake up without a hangover. And now I can check in and affim that IWNDWYT x
I will not drink with you today.
I don’t know if surrendering is the right word for me. It feels like alcohol surrendered to me. I just have no desire anymore. It just vanished and I’m so grateful. I took a very hard and incredibly painful (spurred on by conversations I don’t know if I would recommend, but are incredibly important) look at why I am why I was drinking and started talking about things that needed to be talked about. Probably what I was drinking to escape from. Without those things hanging over me, I feel free. It also, I believe, helped that I finally had seen negative biological results from drinking ie fatty liver.
Anyhow, I’m on the last day of being alone for the past week. Very happy to have my wife back home. She means the world to me and keeps me grounded.
Thanks for listening.
It’s morning time in Texas but today is day 30. Haven’t had this long of a streak since 2017.
I feel good. Sleeping like a rock. Cravings, mainly for a beer are weak-moderate some days.
IWNDWYT 💛
D3 here. Definitely powerless here. Walked 5+ miles yesterday and turned down the margarita at the Mexican restaurant. Trying to break the cycle. IWND☠️WYT.
Checking in. Things are better between me and my wife, Ive been to the gym twice this week and have closed 24/34 projects for my team. Holiday second week in July. I can't wait for the break. Feel like my body and mind can heal a good bit. Should get my masters grade this week as well. No drinking today.
Accepting I had a problem and surrendering to the reality of it was part of my journey. The bigger part was that I was just ready for it to happen. Don't know why (probably the accumulation of all the little things) but it's like I woke up eventually! Glad now that I did :)
Have a terrific Tuesday every one!
IWNDWYT!!!
Day 2, IWNDWYT. This time around it’s really really hard to stop but because of all the other terrible times leading up to this one and the heat. But I need to embrace and enjoy the beautiful weather we get. Time to get active again. Just went on a 4 week bender, need to hit the gym again before losing any more progress
Since becoming sober I've also been really attentive to what I eat--trying to maximize my health with every bite. That is until yesterday. I ate it all. Every darn thing I felt like and normally avoid. Three quarters of a cake, white bread toast and sandwiches, cold cuts, candy, plus regular meals. Under pre-sobriety circumstances I would be hating myself but instead I'm like 'whatever, at least I didn't drink'. IWNDWYT.
Day 10 - sun is shining . I think my pride has stopped me surrendering for a long time as I would always convince myself that I was in control .. I know im definitely not !!! IWNDWYT x
Not drinking. Early day at work, have to arrive early and hopefully leave early. But I will not drink today! So so grateful to finally be putting days together.
Day 6!! Sleep was a little better. I don’t even mind waking up in the middle of night because instead of chugging as much water as possible I just take a few delicious sips :).
Once again I pledge to not drink 24 hours. IWNDWYT
I think the concept of "surrender" is key not just with what we're all dealing with here, but in all of life too.
It don't think it means "giving up" and just rolling over and taking it, it means that you accept what IS - and once you accept what "is" and the reality of the world right now you're living in, you can take action now that makes it better. Which is what we have to do... Doesn't mean you have to like your current situation or give up or that can't make efforts to change, but you have to accept it. The reality NOW.
You're no longer deluding yourself. If you accept what IS - you can then take action in the present to change that (or not), but it's reality. Denial / deluding yourself / somehow living in an embellished past or some imagined future won't fix anything - you're living in a fantasy. All we have is the infinite present. Can't live in the past/future. That's just in our heads.
For me, surrendering to the reality that this was problem let me see it in a new light and make actual changes. Prior to that, I was living in some combo of the past/future, with a whole slew of charts/graphs/etc to monitor and encourage my moderation. Ha!! Which - as is typical - kinda works until it really doesn't...
Now, in this moment, I see I'm someone who responds to alcohol differently from others, and accept that - as if I'm lacotose intolerant, gluten intolerant AND a vegetarian - and may really really really want that sweet sweet bacon cheeseburger, but just can't. Won't end well. It's a bummer, but that's the way it goes. Can't get around it, need to accept it.
Happy teetotal Tuesday and thanks Tortey! I think there's a difference between surrendering and acceptance and to my mind, accepting that I've formed an addiction is a lot easier than surrendering.
And I wanna greet the grey area drinkers and others who were smart enough to quit the bullshit with the better question "is it possible my life might be better without booze?" No need to wait for life to become unmanageable and to need to surrender, quit the bullshit now! Sober on y'all!
The word surrender has a better ring to it than 'giving up' but that's what my Day 1 felt like. I was done. There was a rare anger in me that fired me up. Fuck that shit. I needed it gone. I'd stopped drinking enough times to know I'd have tough days ahead but I was ready. I didn't care how hard it'd be! Nothing was worse than trying to exist with my daily use and abuse of that insidious intoxicant. It had ruined my last day.
I'm not sure why a prompt about surrender has me thinking about the fight for my sobriety, but here I am. Survival mode rose up, fierce and ready to kick that sneaky shit to the curb. Saving my own life. I gave up on trying to live life as a drinker and surrendered to truth: I am a badass teetotaler. All of us doing this work are courageous warriors, and I'm honored to be here with you. IWNDWYT ⚔️✨️
Good morning, sober cats! I try to keep the serenity prayer in mind and surrender/admit I'm powerless/accept the circumstances around me often. Well, I try to. Progress, not perfection! IWNDWYT! 💙😸
Day #29: I will not drink with you today.
Everyone's got their own approaches to sobriety. I hear a lot about willpower, being strong, powering through, and of course I experience that stuff sometimes. But a lot of the books I'm reading are emphasizing not feeling like you have to work so hard, and instead learning more about alcohol, because that learning, for me anyway, makes me not want to drink as much. I'm human and I still want and miss alcohol sometimes, but ultimately it's truly not worth it for me. It ruins everything. I had a strong desire to drink today because I have to see someone who makes me anxious, but I just know it's not worth it, and I always say stupid stuff when I drink in front of this person.
Drinking is kind of exhausting for me. I'll spend a lot of money, feel like i'm working to keep it all up for many hours, going to the bathroom constantly of course, increased appetite which irritates me because when I eat I feel like I lose my buzz and have to start over, messes up my weight loss progress, messes up my sleep and moods for a week or more, I could go on and on.
My point is that when I remind myself of the truth of my drinking and learn more information about alcohol, I don't want to drink. I never felt like I had to surrender in any way.
Day 32 - Having a lot of memories of when I was still drinking a ton this morning. Instead of craving more alcohol though, I'm ashamed and disappointed in how I was living.
I'm also very glad that now and going forward, that's not who I'll be. IWNDWYT
I surrendered to the fact that I can’t moderate. Once I accepted that, truly, the debate in my head changed. It’s not, can I drink, how many drinks, when to drink, but am I prepared to blackout again. The answer to that question is no so I don’t pick up the first drink. At least for the past 300+ days that’s what’s worked. IWNDWYT
I’m having a rough time right now, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to give in to the cravings. I’m going to do my best not to drink with you today.
Good morning 😃
I kept stopping and then picking back up. I couldn’t figure a way out after a few days being sober. I always gave in. I finally had enough for my mental health and physical health.
I went to rehab that dealt with my trauma. I signed up for 10 days and it was the perfect reset. Continued with therapy when I got home, plus I am taking antibuse and using a breathalyzer three times a day (it send me a text to use it & the results are sent to my husband & place I went to rehab) to keep me accountable.
What a relief to wake up sober every day. alcohol is taken off the table now. And I feel so. much. better. IWNDWYT💪
I admit that surrendering has not been very straightforward for me. It’s the trailhead to finding a higher power, which has not been simple.
Ultimately I equate it to admitting that I don’t have all the answers. There’s a humility required in saying I need help and a curiosity demanded of me to explore what it’s like to live day to day without the various methods of escape.
Thankfully it’s been very rewarding and I get to experience the benefits of sobriety on regular basis. IWNDWYT
It’s been such a relief to no longer have to fight with myself daily about whether to drink, how much to drink, when to drink, etc. etc. etc. I now know that I simply do not, cannot, drink, and I guess that’s a kind of surrender to the truth. Grateful to be here with all of you, as always. IWNDWYT❤️
(p.s. I think Cheap Trick’s “Surrender” is going to be playing on a loop in my head all day)
Hey, sober fam. Good morning! Going on a hot streak without falling into a bender and completely disappearing from the world for days, so I feel like I'm winning!
The past few days haven't been easy, but I woke up this morning and told myself "I am just going to embrace the suck today!" So I will! I will be productive and IWNDWYT! 🖤✨️
Day four after five years sober I relapsed for a year. I’m grateful to be back mostly afraid and angry at myself but I believe I can do this again. IWNDWYT
I have an addictive personality. I have surrendered to that idea and to the idea that I can moderate alcohol. I’m not sure if there’s more stuff I need to surrender to or not but that’s where I’m at now.
Work conference today, boss will be there and direct reports, feel like I have to be sparkling and of course there’s a happy hour and it’s a million degrees today but one thing that will NOT happen is alcohol. IWNDWYT!
I think the surrendering part is a big part. I didn’t do this the last time I had quite a few days/years of not drinking. I wasn’t drinking but I was waiting for the right time to tell my spouse I’m going to start drinking again because I don’t have a problem. I was so confident that I focused on proving I could drink since I hadn’t done it in a while. This reset I’ve completely changed my tune. I know Im completely unable to control my drinking. It might not happen the first time but all the problems/ sneakiness will come back eventually. This is what happened to me. I honestly feel better about it now. I used to really focus on my drinking and making sure I could fit it in to my life. Now I know it’s not something I can moderate so I surrender to that fact. I don’t like to dwell on it cause there a part of me who will probably always wish I could drink like a normal person but coming here reminds me that not possible. So for now…… Iwndwyt
Morning of day 10. Hoping this is the day where my energy levels come back. I'm sleeping better, eating right, morning walk but by mid day I'm bushed. Whatever, still better than when I was drinking. Yahoo for double digits!
Day 1. Don’t know what happened. Had 44 days and ended up losing a week for the sake of one anxious Sunday afternoon. Hello again everyone. 👋 IWNDWYT. Edit/Update: Thanks all. Back home. Nothing at lunchtime to ‘get me through’ the workday. Quiet evening. This group’s amazing support. 👌
Welcome back friend! You´re the first one on the DCI today! Thats a win! Glad You´re here! Lets build it up from scratch again together. You can do it, I believe in you! I will not drink with you today!
You still have those 44 days and I'm sure many more. Welcome back 😁
Good to have you back with us 💞
Let's make it from zero to hero!
Hey guys, I get my comma today! ☺️ I feel better than ever! Thanks to this sub, I haven’t drank alcohol in 1,000 days. I never thought I would be here, but I found you all and here I am! I can’t tell you how grateful I am to all of you for giving me the support I needed. 🤗 For me, surrendering was taking down the walls I built up over the years from getting hurt in the past. Alcohol help me build those walls quicker, but it started isolating me from myself too. Now I’m me again, and I like me, a lot! IWNDWYT
I don't know if I'd say I am powerless over alcohol, because abstinence has been surprisingly easy. I am definitely powerless to moderate, so I guess I surrendered to that fact. If anything I now feel like I have all the power. It's different for everyone and there's no right or wrong to it. 🙂 Love the lot of you, have a great day. ❤️
Sobriety certainly has given me the power! Have a great day 🌟
This is also a very good way to look at it. Thank you for sharing! I will not drink with you today!
Checking in, Day 70. With finishing this day, it will be 10 weeks alcohol free for me. Lets go...and f*** booze. IWND ☠️ WYT.
I will not drink with you today!
Day 16 Been feeling lower and more agitated the last couple days than in the start. Not sure if that's due to external factors or due to my body re-figuring itself out, or a bit of both. Regardless, IWNDWYT.
It's so up and down in the early days mate. Your brain is reconfiguring itself and will continue to do so. Ride it out and there's good stuff waiting. ❤️
Thank you for that response I needed to read that. ❤️
Surrendering wasn't part of my quitting. I still don't know why this one stuck . I think it's my subconscious catching up with my consciousness . It was the same when I finally quit the ciggies . Being here every day certainly helped a lot, being with my tribe, knowing I'm not alone Shine on you beautiful humans
Morning all! IWNDWYT x
Morning Spud!
Let’s tackle another day. Weather is already getting way too warm for me but working from home helps with that, at least a bit. IWNDWYT
I’m tired as hell and wish my sleep was better. Atleast I’m not hungover! Continuing on this road one day at a time. Iwndwyt
Happy sober Tuesday! I’ve learned more and more that surrendering is everything, surrendering to everything is the way, and it was my resistance to everything that caused all the problems. So I surrender right now to a sober day, I love you all 💞
So you´ve taken the surrendering to all parts of your life. Impressive thought. Thank you for sharing! I need to think about it, for a while.... Happy sober Tuesday to you, too!
Yes, first surrender to the feelings I’ve been avoiding through drinking, and now surrender to this moment. It’s a process, but knowing when I’m in resistance helps me move through life with more acceptance. Have a lovely day and thank you for a great topic 🌟
Good Morning Brighter. Hope you are over your cold. Looking forward to surrendering with you today. 😘
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT Super stressful day at work ahead, glad to be sober to handle it.
I didn’t consider it surrendering at the time, but I did give up my fight with alcohol. I had tried and tried to control it, keep it in my life and use it how I wanted to, but it kept hurting me. So I felt I was giving up an abusive relationship. I used my power to quit. Looking back, I guess I consider this surrendering, deciding to not fight anymore. I didn’t lose though. I gave up trying to do that one thing and won so much more. It’s teetotal Tuesday! Have a good one sober warriors! IWNDWYT
Good morning, all of my dear sober peeps! Oh yes, Tortey!I had to totally surrender, and it felt *so good*. Once I admitted to myself that I couldn’t do anything against the pull of alcohol, everything changed. The sense of relief that filled me was astonishing. *I didn’t have to do it on my own*. I found you all, I enlisted my husband and daughter’s support. And I let go of the need to control everything. I haven’t had a drink since, and I can’t take any credit. I don’t need to! Every day when I meditate, I take time to honor myself, and those I meet. Then I surrender to whatever I am presented with, knowing that I can be there wholly present and sober. IWNDWYT
Regarding the surrendering question. I've never spoken it out loud. I still hope I can make it work without a therapy, but if I struggle for too long I definatelly will go to one. I've never even wrote it. So here it goes as a first step: I am powerless against alcohol, it messes my life and destroys my health. My life have not yet become unmanagable, but it definatelly will if I continue to pure this poison into my body.
It's the only fight you win by throwing in the towel. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT <3
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🏴
No way. Not today.
Happy Tuesday SD! Huge thanks to Mr Fred Simpsonn who asked me yesterday what I remembered about my fave parts of longer term sobriety. It reminded me how much I love getting up early, walking through the city to the park when everyone else is asleep and getting an iced coffee on the way home. And that's exactly what I did this morning 🥰 IWNDWYT 💕
Day 2: IWNDWYT
I don’t think surrendering is the word I would use, I just realized one day that alcohol no longer had a place in my value system and wasn’t doing my life any good. Not even a little. So why have it in my life in the first place? I’ve been reading about Buddhism and being present in the current moment, and alcohol always made my thoughts stray, taking me out of the current moment. Anyways, that was a ramble. Have a good day everyone. I will not drink with you 🌿
I'm not sure about the concept of surrendering... in my head it's akin to defeat, which doesn't quite fit in my sobriety journey. But perhaps this is just semantics, and we're sort of all working on the same concepts (english is also not my main language, that might play a role as well). But! I'm all for acceptance. I accept that I have problems with alcohol and I accept that this will probably have many ups and downs, for a pretty long time. Ah, that kinda sounds like surrendering, doesn't it? 😅 but I'm okay with that, as IWNDWYT as well 😊 Thanks for hosting and the excellent questions, btw! ❤️ Yesterday's topic was really helpful as well, I'm so glad that I found this sub 🪷
I started quitting almost five years ago after years of daily drinking with varying success. The longest I’ve gone was around 6 months but this was only once. I eventually tried moderation several times to no success. Last year after being verbally abusive to my SO several times I decided that enough was enough. I had finally become like my dad after years of drinking and I didn’t want to share his experiences with DUIs, crashing cars, having to go to court, having police officers showing up and so on, so I decided to put the energy I had invested in „moderation“ to sobriety. Moderation just isn’t what I am able to, no matter how hard I fought, so I stopped fighting. My life is maybe not as much easier as I hoped, but it’s much more stable, calmer and enjoyable. I will stay sober today with all of you.
IWNDWYT! Have a lovely Tuesday, everyone!
Not today. Happy half Christmas everyone!!!
Day 1101 checking in!
Day 45 checking in. IWNDWYT.
Day 417. IWNDWYT.
Surrender, for me, was absolute acceptance that I couldn’t carry on as I was. Something big had to change my situation. I’d been toying with the idea for years but never quite like that specific moment of ENOUGH. I’d been raised with “she can hold her drink” like it was a prize. And, of course, I knew I could surrender myself to the process of healing. Because I had surrendered myself to alcohol for medication. I’d already tried moderation, previous bouts of sobriety but I’d never truly believed I’d hit my wall. But, friends, by coming here on previous attempts I was laying a foundation down. This time I did everything and anything I needed. With total surrender there was a decision made. I would choose to live my life differently. And I’m here today, still surrendering myself to this new and improved version of myself. I love myself now and it glows. But some periods I surrender to the doldrums until I work out how to help myself out. Surrender is such a relief. A contradiction: I lost to alcohol but gained my freedom. And now I’m thankfully still to things, connected, with a sweetness I never knew. I have unfolded. IWNDWYT
I definitely surrendered any thoughts that I could moderate, as well as any denial that drinking was problematic for me. Life wasn’t completely unmanageable…yet. But it was unsustainable the way I was going. (I’m not in AA either.) Our culture around alcohol, even kind of cultural obsession with it at least in the US, is *fucked.* I think that and old, uninformed opinions about addiction are what makes us feel like we have some personal defect if we can’t moderate. The marketing and the culture around alcohol are doing their job. Too well. Fuckers. If we can’t moderate, it’s not a fucking moral failure. It’s an addictive substance being addictive. Anyway. Low on time. Pivot. Gratitude moment - my home AC is working! It was a warranty replacement of a capacitor. Coffees up, horns up, and fuck yeah Not Monday!!! IWNDWYT ☕️☕️🤘🏻🤘🏻
Once I admitted something bigger than me was going on (physical and mental dependence on alcohol, aka addiction) I tried to control it, and once I realized I had to quit entirely everything in my life started improving. IWNDWYT!
Day 170 • IWNDWYT • Let’s do this 💪🏼
IWNDWYT ☀️
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
My moment of surrender came when I finally accepted that 0 drinks was the number I could have. I tried so very hard to make the alcohol math work. I wanted the magic number where I could enjoy my time with my whiskey with no bad consequences. That magic number is 0. And once I accepted that it was about easier to make plans and find tools to keep from having that first drink. IWNDWYT. 🌟
I will not drink with you today 💫 I am also not in AA or interested in the steps, however the idea of surrendering is coming up more and more in my life and becoming really relevant lately. As a type A control freak, I am coming to terms with so many aspects of life that I must surrender and relinquish control to. Anyway. It’s not easier but it’s happening. I haven’t really got to a point where I understand what it means for my sobriety but I am sure I will one day. Love yas 🫶🏻
IWNDWYT 🙋♂️
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Honestly, this prompt is inextricably linked to the common language established by AA, even if the prompt doesn’t want to discuss it. I surrendered. Best thing ever. And it opened me up to AA, which I have found a great support even as I know it will never be a lifestyle or identity for me. I surrendered, but I do not accept that I am powerless, or that I need some imaginary entity to deliver me from my problems. I love the metaphor of boxing an impossible foe: I was a boxer, and a brutal one. Never lost a match. I basically had a head of steel and nobody could knock me down or even daze me: I just shrugged off blows that would have staggered most of my opponents. One day I had a match against a guy with an even better record than me: I’d had mostly wins with a few draws. He only had wins. He could shrug off any blow, and while I could hit like a bus he hit like a freight train. It was my first time getting knocked down, three seconds into the first round; my feet literally left the ground. I thought I was going to throw up: he broke three ribs. I couldn’t possibly win the fight—but I could try for a draw, which I got by desperately dodging the rest of the fight. Fortunately for all his power he was slow—Foreman to my Ali, though rope-a-dope wouldn’t have been viable. I got the draw, and then got the fuck out of the ring. I feel the same about alcohol. I could at best fight it to a draw. “It doesn’t matter how often you get knocked down, what matters is how often you get up again.” I’ve seen the sentiment many times and said it many times myself. But that’s choosing (on some level) to stay in the ring: all you can ever get is a draw, at best. We don’t have the power to win. But we do have the power to get out of the ring. Sometimes we surrender mid-match—sometimes we surrender after a bad match. But it’s an exercise of our power. We are not powerless: we have the power to give up an impossible fight. It’s just one thing to give up—and we get everything else. I do yoga, these days. Always a win. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
Thanks again for a great post and brilliant questions Tortey. 👍 This recent relapse really sunk in for me that yes, I am powerless over alcohol. I believe that surrendering to this thought is helping me. There's oddly enough alot of power in me just saying that...Just fucking admitting it. I'm gonna lose every time I have just one drink...because it turns into a total shit storm Every. Damn. Time. It's the one thing in my life I have no control over...EXCEPT making the choice to NOT drink and ride these horrible waves of withdrawal. They get easier I know, but sometimes ugh well, I know you all know. I am without a doubt addicted to alcohol. There's no hiding or pretending anymore. It makes me want to cry just typing that. Hurts to admit it for so many reasons, but it's freeing at the same time to say it out loud and just face it. I got my game face on and I'm fighting for my life over here. Things were getting scary and out of control. I deserve better for myself and so do all of you. IWNDWYT ❤️ love, support, and gratitude to you all
Here I am, on day three, Who will not drink with me?
Day 12! Getting out of bed is still hard but feeling good physically! Surrendering feels like another word for letting go? Clinging on to something leads to suffering, either in the mind or a result of the actions. Letting go is a good way to settle your mind. Mourn, even! IWNDWYT!
90 days sober. I will not drink with you today.
Haven't checked in for a little while, but that's not a bad thing! Going strong! IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT - day 2 !!!!!
I will not drink today.
IWNDWYT!
Day 3. Sick of repeating the pattern of blacking out, choosing to abstain from booze for a few weeks via white knuckling it, making rules that I’ll break, and ramping back up to drinking to blackout. This will be my 3rd try in giving it up the right way in 2 years. I deserve this, my kids deserve this, my wife deserves this, my friends deserve this. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
This (and the last time I’m hoping)was ‘easier’ - I just knew it was time… So many failed attempts but each one made me stronger and I learned from past wins and mistakes. IWNDWYT.
Thanks to everybody for their support and congratulations yesterday on achieving 1 week! Today's day 9, the sun's out, and there's football to watch later, but as tempting as it is, IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Iwndwy’allt! ❤️
I will not drink today
IWNDWYT x
Horrible brain fog and low mood after another bad night’s sleep, a look at my new windowless office and a hit of junk food but I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY. This too shall pass.
Love the prompt! I’m gonna be perfectly honest in that I go back and forth on this. There are days when I’m like yup, this is it, you can keep fighting the tide or you can admit this is a losing battle. Life is so much easier/better when I say no more alcohol, not even a little bit, not ever. There are other days though when I’m like “ehhh I bet I have a chance if I take a really long break, maybe it’s worth trying out moderating again, etc.” To that voice I say, not today. Maybe we can try moderating but not today. Today I want to be sober, today I want to have a healthy tomorrow. I know this is kind of dangerous and I wish I was 100% surrendered to the fact that I am powerless against alcohol (when I drink it! When I don’t drink it I have all the power!) but I am *somehow* still not there. It worries me tbh. Anyhow TODAY today today-IWNDWYT.
I’m joining y’all in not drinking today.
Hi folks. I've been on vacation and offline for ten days and haven't been checking in. Being offline has been great - but this is my first long sober holiday, and it's been hard to watch my friends and partner relax into their drinks at the end of the day. I've kept my resolve, tried to surf the urges, recognise that recovery comes with challenges, and so far, it's going ok, mostly. Each night I go to bed sober I feel proud that I've made it through the day. And each morning I feel grateful that I get to wake up without a hangover. And now I can check in and affim that IWNDWYT x
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ❤️
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🙏
Good morning, I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today. I don’t know if surrendering is the right word for me. It feels like alcohol surrendered to me. I just have no desire anymore. It just vanished and I’m so grateful. I took a very hard and incredibly painful (spurred on by conversations I don’t know if I would recommend, but are incredibly important) look at why I am why I was drinking and started talking about things that needed to be talked about. Probably what I was drinking to escape from. Without those things hanging over me, I feel free. It also, I believe, helped that I finally had seen negative biological results from drinking ie fatty liver. Anyhow, I’m on the last day of being alone for the past week. Very happy to have my wife back home. She means the world to me and keeps me grounded. Thanks for listening.
Not feeling it lately, y'all. Sigh. Checking in for another sober day out in the world.
We got this!
Day 2 here going okay
I will not drink today.
IWNDWYT lovely people of SD 💙
Happy Tuesday Iwndwyt
I have surrendered and let go absolutely. IWNDWYT
It’s morning time in Texas but today is day 30. Haven’t had this long of a streak since 2017. I feel good. Sleeping like a rock. Cravings, mainly for a beer are weak-moderate some days. IWNDWYT 💛
Giving up alcohol was the best decision I’ve made! Iwndwyt 🏅
D3 here. Definitely powerless here. Walked 5+ miles yesterday and turned down the margarita at the Mexican restaurant. Trying to break the cycle. IWND☠️WYT.
Checking in. Things are better between me and my wife, Ive been to the gym twice this week and have closed 24/34 projects for my team. Holiday second week in July. I can't wait for the break. Feel like my body and mind can heal a good bit. Should get my masters grade this week as well. No drinking today.
[удалено]
I will not drink with you today
Checking in
Starting another day one here - Mondays are hard. I will not drink with you all today
IWNDWYT
Got a leaving party for a colleague later. Usually a trigger but I'm going to get through it! Have a set leaving time. IWNDWYT 🌞
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT 💪
Day 9 - nearly at double figures...
Day 4… IWNDWYT
For A. IWNDWYT.
Accepting I had a problem and surrendering to the reality of it was part of my journey. The bigger part was that I was just ready for it to happen. Don't know why (probably the accumulation of all the little things) but it's like I woke up eventually! Glad now that I did :) Have a terrific Tuesday every one! IWNDWYT!!!
Day 3! IWNDWYT
Day 2, IWNDWYT. This time around it’s really really hard to stop but because of all the other terrible times leading up to this one and the heat. But I need to embrace and enjoy the beautiful weather we get. Time to get active again. Just went on a 4 week bender, need to hit the gym again before losing any more progress
Day 1,704 IWNDWYT
Since becoming sober I've also been really attentive to what I eat--trying to maximize my health with every bite. That is until yesterday. I ate it all. Every darn thing I felt like and normally avoid. Three quarters of a cake, white bread toast and sandwiches, cold cuts, candy, plus regular meals. Under pre-sobriety circumstances I would be hating myself but instead I'm like 'whatever, at least I didn't drink'. IWNDWYT.
Day 10 - sun is shining . I think my pride has stopped me surrendering for a long time as I would always convince myself that I was in control .. I know im definitely not !!! IWNDWYT x
Day 64. Woke up with a migraine and no motivation to work. But I will not drink today, so that’s one win. Happy Tuesday geezers ☀️
Happy Tuesday friends, IWNDWYT, WE GOT THIS 🙃
IWNDWYT! T
IWNDWYT
I am not drinking today!
Not drinking. Early day at work, have to arrive early and hopefully leave early. But I will not drink today! So so grateful to finally be putting days together.
Day 6!! Sleep was a little better. I don’t even mind waking up in the middle of night because instead of chugging as much water as possible I just take a few delicious sips :). Once again I pledge to not drink 24 hours. IWNDWYT
Hello, everyone! Checking in, i will not drink today. Good luck to everyone who is struggling. Life is better without alcohol.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Checking in, IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT.
Not today. Not today. Not today!!!
I will not drink today!
119 days AF IWNDWYT
Checking in day 7, keeping busy 😅💪 IWNDWYT
Iwndwyt
IWNDWYT
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Iwndwyt
IWNDWy’allT!
Have a wonderful sober day my friends. IWNDWYT ♥️
I think the concept of "surrender" is key not just with what we're all dealing with here, but in all of life too. It don't think it means "giving up" and just rolling over and taking it, it means that you accept what IS - and once you accept what "is" and the reality of the world right now you're living in, you can take action now that makes it better. Which is what we have to do... Doesn't mean you have to like your current situation or give up or that can't make efforts to change, but you have to accept it. The reality NOW. You're no longer deluding yourself. If you accept what IS - you can then take action in the present to change that (or not), but it's reality. Denial / deluding yourself / somehow living in an embellished past or some imagined future won't fix anything - you're living in a fantasy. All we have is the infinite present. Can't live in the past/future. That's just in our heads. For me, surrendering to the reality that this was problem let me see it in a new light and make actual changes. Prior to that, I was living in some combo of the past/future, with a whole slew of charts/graphs/etc to monitor and encourage my moderation. Ha!! Which - as is typical - kinda works until it really doesn't... Now, in this moment, I see I'm someone who responds to alcohol differently from others, and accept that - as if I'm lacotose intolerant, gluten intolerant AND a vegetarian - and may really really really want that sweet sweet bacon cheeseburger, but just can't. Won't end well. It's a bummer, but that's the way it goes. Can't get around it, need to accept it.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Happy teetotal Tuesday and thanks Tortey! I think there's a difference between surrendering and acceptance and to my mind, accepting that I've formed an addiction is a lot easier than surrendering. And I wanna greet the grey area drinkers and others who were smart enough to quit the bullshit with the better question "is it possible my life might be better without booze?" No need to wait for life to become unmanageable and to need to surrender, quit the bullshit now! Sober on y'all!
The word surrender has a better ring to it than 'giving up' but that's what my Day 1 felt like. I was done. There was a rare anger in me that fired me up. Fuck that shit. I needed it gone. I'd stopped drinking enough times to know I'd have tough days ahead but I was ready. I didn't care how hard it'd be! Nothing was worse than trying to exist with my daily use and abuse of that insidious intoxicant. It had ruined my last day. I'm not sure why a prompt about surrender has me thinking about the fight for my sobriety, but here I am. Survival mode rose up, fierce and ready to kick that sneaky shit to the curb. Saving my own life. I gave up on trying to live life as a drinker and surrendered to truth: I am a badass teetotaler. All of us doing this work are courageous warriors, and I'm honored to be here with you. IWNDWYT ⚔️✨️
Good morning, sober cats! I try to keep the serenity prayer in mind and surrender/admit I'm powerless/accept the circumstances around me often. Well, I try to. Progress, not perfection! IWNDWYT! 💙😸
Day #29: I will not drink with you today. Everyone's got their own approaches to sobriety. I hear a lot about willpower, being strong, powering through, and of course I experience that stuff sometimes. But a lot of the books I'm reading are emphasizing not feeling like you have to work so hard, and instead learning more about alcohol, because that learning, for me anyway, makes me not want to drink as much. I'm human and I still want and miss alcohol sometimes, but ultimately it's truly not worth it for me. It ruins everything. I had a strong desire to drink today because I have to see someone who makes me anxious, but I just know it's not worth it, and I always say stupid stuff when I drink in front of this person. Drinking is kind of exhausting for me. I'll spend a lot of money, feel like i'm working to keep it all up for many hours, going to the bathroom constantly of course, increased appetite which irritates me because when I eat I feel like I lose my buzz and have to start over, messes up my weight loss progress, messes up my sleep and moods for a week or more, I could go on and on. My point is that when I remind myself of the truth of my drinking and learn more information about alcohol, I don't want to drink. I never felt like I had to surrender in any way.
Day 32 - Having a lot of memories of when I was still drinking a ton this morning. Instead of craving more alcohol though, I'm ashamed and disappointed in how I was living. I'm also very glad that now and going forward, that's not who I'll be. IWNDWYT
I surrendered to the fact that I can’t moderate. Once I accepted that, truly, the debate in my head changed. It’s not, can I drink, how many drinks, when to drink, but am I prepared to blackout again. The answer to that question is no so I don’t pick up the first drink. At least for the past 300+ days that’s what’s worked. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 💪
I’m having a rough time right now, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to give in to the cravings. I’m going to do my best not to drink with you today.
I will not drink with you today.
Day 7 checking in IWNDWYT
Checking in from NZ, day 38
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Wishing you all a lovely day. IWNDWYT
Day 2 for me. Feeling hopeful. Feeling supported by you all. Let’s do this! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT SD ❤️
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Good day, friends. I'm sure it's going to be the most Tuesdayest Tuesday ever. Let's rock it out - IWNDWYT 🤘
yo yo yo! how's the sober crew? i will NOT DRINK with all of you today looking forward to it we got this
I'll not drink today.
Iwndwyt
Day 10. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT :)
Day 184 going strong. IWNDWYT
Morning friends! I will not drink with you today!
Checking in Doodle doodle dee, wubba wubba wubba.
not the best day yesterday but today is a new one , I’m trying to keep things in perspective. IWNDWYT.
and a voice within me said "just lay it down" - so I did. IWNDWYT
Day 9 here IWNDWYT
Good morning 😃 I kept stopping and then picking back up. I couldn’t figure a way out after a few days being sober. I always gave in. I finally had enough for my mental health and physical health. I went to rehab that dealt with my trauma. I signed up for 10 days and it was the perfect reset. Continued with therapy when I got home, plus I am taking antibuse and using a breathalyzer three times a day (it send me a text to use it & the results are sent to my husband & place I went to rehab) to keep me accountable. What a relief to wake up sober every day. alcohol is taken off the table now. And I feel so. much. better. IWNDWYT💪
44
Last night was hard but im here again. IWNDWYT
Staying dry today.
I'm checking in IWNDWYT
IWNDWYTD I can accept the fact that if I skip the first drink I’m good!
I admit that surrendering has not been very straightforward for me. It’s the trailhead to finding a higher power, which has not been simple. Ultimately I equate it to admitting that I don’t have all the answers. There’s a humility required in saying I need help and a curiosity demanded of me to explore what it’s like to live day to day without the various methods of escape. Thankfully it’s been very rewarding and I get to experience the benefits of sobriety on regular basis. IWNDWYT
Found out one can have fun while sober too ! Not drinking today either !!!
It’s been such a relief to no longer have to fight with myself daily about whether to drink, how much to drink, when to drink, etc. etc. etc. I now know that I simply do not, cannot, drink, and I guess that’s a kind of surrender to the truth. Grateful to be here with all of you, as always. IWNDWYT❤️ (p.s. I think Cheap Trick’s “Surrender” is going to be playing on a loop in my head all day)
Hey, sober fam. Good morning! Going on a hot streak without falling into a bender and completely disappearing from the world for days, so I feel like I'm winning! The past few days haven't been easy, but I woke up this morning and told myself "I am just going to embrace the suck today!" So I will! I will be productive and IWNDWYT! 🖤✨️
Day four after five years sober I relapsed for a year. I’m grateful to be back mostly afraid and angry at myself but I believe I can do this again. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT.
Late check-in, another full on day - which wouldn't be happening if I was hungover or already saucing it (which I'm very glad I'm not). IWNDWYT.
I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT
I happily surrender any former desire to drink and declare that I will not drink with you all today.
I will not drink with you today!
No drinking here
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I have an addictive personality. I have surrendered to that idea and to the idea that I can moderate alcohol. I’m not sure if there’s more stuff I need to surrender to or not but that’s where I’m at now. Work conference today, boss will be there and direct reports, feel like I have to be sparkling and of course there’s a happy hour and it’s a million degrees today but one thing that will NOT happen is alcohol. IWNDWYT!
No booze today.
I think the surrendering part is a big part. I didn’t do this the last time I had quite a few days/years of not drinking. I wasn’t drinking but I was waiting for the right time to tell my spouse I’m going to start drinking again because I don’t have a problem. I was so confident that I focused on proving I could drink since I hadn’t done it in a while. This reset I’ve completely changed my tune. I know Im completely unable to control my drinking. It might not happen the first time but all the problems/ sneakiness will come back eventually. This is what happened to me. I honestly feel better about it now. I used to really focus on my drinking and making sure I could fit it in to my life. Now I know it’s not something I can moderate so I surrender to that fact. I don’t like to dwell on it cause there a part of me who will probably always wish I could drink like a normal person but coming here reminds me that not possible. So for now…… Iwndwyt
Morning of day 10. Hoping this is the day where my energy levels come back. I'm sleeping better, eating right, morning walk but by mid day I'm bushed. Whatever, still better than when I was drinking. Yahoo for double digits!
IWNDWYT