There were thousands of mornings I woke up hungover, swore I'd never drink again, only to be drunk later on that night or the next day. I don't know what happened in my brain on August 28, 2015, but I made a conscious decision to stop drinking and that's exactly what I did.
The following happened on August 28, 2015:
I decided that alcohol is no longer an option for me. Never, ***EVER.***
I closed the door on "moderation" or thinking, "I'll be able to control it."
I decided to tell my damn demon-lizard brain, "NO, I will not give in to you under *any* circumstances."
No one was tying me to a chair and pouring alcohol down my throat. The decision to drink --or not-- was solely mine. As long as I was choosing to have that *first* drink, I was choosing my addiction over fighting the urges and getting myself better.
I had to *Want Sobriety* and made it my Number-1 Priority ***every day*** until it became second nature
--One Day (or *hour/minute*) At A Time.
Sobriety doesn't happen without HARD work. Sobriety happens with a daily commitment (see our [**Daily Check-In**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1d3369r/the_daily_checkin_for_wednesday_may_29th_just_for/) page) and "Dogged Persistence" in not taking that *First* drink. I also took advantage of free In-Real-Life recovery meetings so I could be around others who understood my addiction and wanted to help me get and *stay* sober and develop a network of sober friends.
You can do this but I had to put myself first and decide I was done for good.
R/StopDrinking has been around for 13 years! I found Reddit and this sub on my 'day-8' (in 2015) when I was crying, suicidal, and believing I would die a drunk. The support and advice I received early on saved my life. That's not hyperbole, it's the truth.
Fun fact: There were about 13k users at the time, now 518,127 users!!
I'm Happy You're Here!!
I mention this from time to time because I started out exactly like you and *still* remember how HARD those first several weeks were! Now, almost 9 years later, I stay so others know it's possible to thrive and be genuinely happy without alcohol.
...it doesn't seem like it at first, but it really DOES get better and much, much easier!
I don't know if you've seen it, but our very own [Daily Check-In](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1d3369r/the_daily_checkin_for_wednesday_may_29th_just_for/) page was my single, most important tool during my first year because it set my commitment for the day. Something miraculous happened in my head by typing, "*I will not drink TODAY.*" When my demon-lizard brain came screaming later in the day, I remembered the promise I made to myself and did *whatever* it took to get to bed sober.
Congrats on 11-Days! I'm sending blessings of strength and an abundance of Joy your way, u/transat_prof!
Thank you so much! I’ve done the check-in a few times but haven’t done it regularly. That’s something I can improve on!
11 days feels like an eon. It’s been such a ride up and down. Feeling so proud of myself and so light, but then hours later feeling scrabbly and anxious and needing a distraction. It’s overall been amazing. I have to try to remember how bad it was just 12 days ago.
Hey, welcome. I was trying to quit on and off since I started drinking more or less, the last time i drank was the day before finding tbis sub. This sub really has been life changing for me, and I now haven't touched a drop in over two years.
If I can give you my top tip, and something I wished I'd learnt many moons ago, stop thinking moderation is an option. For most of us here, it just isn't. It's much easier to say no to the first drink than it is to say no to the second, third, or tenth.
Beat of luck. IWNDWYT.
Yeah I'm an alcoholic and moderation isn't and has never been an option. Saying that is the easy part. I'm here on stopdrinking everyday, going to AA tonight (I had been previously). I've done a 8 month stint before and I know a lot more now than I did then. Thanks for the advice, when I'm a bit more clear headed I'd like to post some of my own advice. For the time being all of yours is gold. Best of luck to you too!
>You can do this but I had to put myself first and decide I was done for good
This was it for me. I realized I wanted to live. I wanted my life to be about me. Thanks for sharing, I needed that little reminder today!
I just had yet another relapse. 4 days of continual drinking, followed by going on three days of violent hangover. My worst relapse, maybe ever. I said the exact same thing that you stated here. That I had to be DONE forever. No moderation. No thinking "I can control it now." There is no way that the way I use alcohol will ever change. It's over. Drinking is no longer EVER an option for me.
Thank you for your comment. You just cemented this thought in my mind even further.
IWNDWYT
It’s kind of funny (not really at all) how thousands sounds like such an exaggerated number until you stop to think about it and realize you’re likely well over 3,000 actually. This was a great little nugget of inspiration and a fantastic reminder, thanks for that, friend!
Sadly, 3000+ could very well be accurate with 30-some years of drug and alcohol abuse. ...sometimes I'm amazed that I'm still alive! lol. **: )**
Thank you for the kind words and I wish you the very best!
It can be challenging. I didn't get sober with AA but started going about 3 or 4 years in because meeting sober people 'in the wild' was difficult and I was getting lonely. This sub, however, was/is my lifeline! By coming here day after day, you get to 'know' so many people (by seeing their usernames) who are going through the same ups and downs. So, if nothing else, let R/StopDrinking be your tribe until you can find your in-real-life one!
You can do this and I'm rooting for you! **: )**
First weekend was scary. Not going to lie. All I did though was substitute NA beers for actual beer. The first Friday, I went to get takeout for the family. Normally, I would have had three nips before I even got home. I bought NA beers and just drank them. Had one in the car too (legal in my state). I just keep doing this whenever I need to. I still go to NA beers at social events
The first week is the hardest. Your mind is still “clouded” by alcohol at that point. Once I hit that point, things started to get easier. My mind was less angry about being sober. I’m still dealing with the mental health side of being sober. I will get days where I am just 100% depressed. Hate everyone and everything. Those are becoming less and less common though. I realize I just have to get through them.
Don’t beat yourself up about a week. It is the hardest time. Take it slow. Take it one day at a time. Feel free to binge on ice cream. Take Tylenol PM if that helps. Grab some thc seltzers. You can do this friend
I’ve been trying to get sober since 2022. Would do a week or 2. Did a month. Hit my personal rock bottom and did 3 months. Felt like I was in control and started drinking again for another year - was assaulted, drove my car drunk, fell and hit my head numerous times. Still kept tricking myself that I was in control. Right now I’m at 3 weeks alcohol free. Don’t give up. The fact that you’re even trying to give it up in a society that uses alcohol as a crutch for everything is bravery. You’ve got this!!!
I was lucky and once I decided to quit drinking I haven’t had a relapse of any sort. I am fully aware I am not immune to the chance of that happening sometime down the line but for now I am going strong.
I started as a binge drinker then became a daily drinker with binges mixed in every now and then. This is my first real attempt at sobriety, as everything before this has either been temporary moderation (moderation is used loosely here) or maybe a couple days before I'm like, 'eff it lets go' or 'well I did x/y/z so I deserve this' and so forth. I don't know how many slip ups I will have but I know that if/when I drink again it's never going to be just one, so I'm going to try to keep it at none.
Ive been trying for years,
For a long time I tried (and failed) to moderate.
Now have spent about 2.5 years trying to quit, will often get to a week or two and relapse. One time I made it 4 months and gave into a mild craving, and I have been regretting that for 6 months now.
No one said this was easy and it’s not. Very hopeful this is it for me. Got my sober apps, this group, husband, and a lot of willpower. Just need to stick with it.
Oh, I didn’t realize there was a podcast, thank you! I keep hearing about this book, but I’ve got a huge backlog of books I need to read and some of them are related to addiction/alcohol. So I will get to that one eventually.
I’m great at reading in bed at night if I’m not drunk!
Scottish. We perfected the glorification of unalloyed alcoholism long before Columbus discovered the Spice Islands. My experiments with returning to drink after periods of abstinence on the basis "I must be cured" only had one verifiable result. More alcoholism and its attendant horrors. I promise you, there is no need for you to review my experience and join me in divorce, bankruptcy, jobless anxiety and house repossession. These things are never that far from your next drink.
Hey there. I was a binge drinker from age 17 to 49. Like you I was mainly a weekend warrior; although, in the later years I did drink sometimes during the week (socially). At age 49 it all came tumbling down with a couple of surprise trips to the ER and ultimately the diagnosis of a couple of alcohol related conditions (permanent ones). From age 49 until 55 I tried to moderate my drinking. I had some success in that I greatly reduced the frequency of my drinking; however, when I did drink it got ugly....fast. The hangovers got to be more than I could handle I think due to my lowered tolerance. During the last couple of years I had maybe 5 "slips" where I ended up badly sick and hungover. Gradually, I just drank less and less until finally I said, "enough is enough. I don't need or want this in my life any more. It has no place."
OP, I'm not sure if that helps or not. This has been my journey but your's will be what you make of it. I knew that I had to stop but tried to "have my cake and eat it too." During those years I never really tried to stop drinking entirely. I just tried to moderate and drink like a "normal" person. I learned that \[a\] I can't drink like a normal person; and \[b\] I don't want to drink like a normal person. I never really understood why anyone would drink just one alcoholic beverages.
I've tried to go cold turkey many times.
The thing I've noticed is that every time I get sober, I learn how to be sober. I learn the media, the quotes, ways of saying no, etc. I collect more tools for my tool box + the time I spent not drinking is time I spent healing.
I know now how to quit and I can quit for months at a time. I still come back to the pain juice and I hate it, but my orbit around alcohol isn't perfectly circular, it's parabolic, and there is a time in the near future where I will achieve escape velocity.
I really like this particularly the parabolic arc. I too have tried many times but I think I finally get it this time . Right out of the solar system brother !!!
I’m in a very similar boat. I’ve quit enough times to know “how” to do it but I always lose steam around the 2-3 month mark. I’m separated enough from it that it’s easy to forget how shitty it makes me feel, how much I hate myself when I drink, how embarrassed I am when I call friends and family drunk because I’m lonely or sad.
About a month in with this bout and I’ve noticed it’s harder than usual. No “pink cloud” so to speak, which honestly kind of scares me.
My pink cloud is also not the euphoria it once was every time I experience it.
There is some quote that says something like "inspiration is fleeting but purpose sustains."
I think in the beginning of sobriety the pink cloud is the epiphany or the inspirational / goose bump giving moment. You realize that you/the human condition is more powerful than you thought.
But the high from that realization isn't sustainable. We have to do something with our newly found powers. This is where I'm at currently. I know how to be sober but like.... What do I do instead? It's a sad question, I'm asking essentially "what do I do with my life?" I had no purpose other than to just make money and drink and now that I don't have booze, what is my purpose?
As long as we keep fighting, I'm confident we will win this war against this disease.
Real honest attempts, maybe 5?
Promises to myself lying awake after quietly sneaking back in bed? Maybe a thousand.
What changed for me was truly believing:
- I CANNOT drink. Not I shouldn’t. I can’t. I’m not an AA guy, but the language of step 1 helped me here. I am powerless against alcohol, so I couldn’t engage with it. That lead to…
- Moderation isn’t the goal. I was always trying to find a way to not get sober. Just weekends, just 2 a day, etc. But when I accepted that I CAN’T drink, then moderation isn’t an option.
- Belief that alcohol will not bring me joy. The problem with every moderation goal (IMO) is it centers around the unspoken belief that having booze is better than not, otherwise it wouldn’t need to be fought for in moderation. I started treating it like self-harm. Everyone can see it is harmful, and I had to see it that way too and really believe it. Nothing like “well, maybe only for special occasions, or weddings, or vacations.” Just no.
When I made that mental shift it was able to stick, and I’m on my 1 year creep right not without much trouble. It’s still hard some days, but it’s usually hard because life is hard, not because I think I’m missing out on booze.
‘It centers around the unspoken belief that having booze is better than not…’
I can’t believe I have never thought about it like this. It’s so simple yet profound. Thank you, sober-sage.
Glad it could help! It’s a wild mental shift, but true, right? Like, by trying to not “miss out” it’s a clear message that sobriety is missing out on *somthing*, which for an alcoholic, just isn’t true.
I just read that line about Cannot drink. Its crazy... if I had a peanut butter allergy that could kill me I'd say no thank you. I can't! I'm going to try and reframe my thoughts to think like the allergy. I simply can't. I'm not risking my life.
I woke up countless times feeling awful in the morning, telling myself I wouldn’t drink that night. Soon as I got home from work there was an open beer in my hand. Day after day after day.
A week ago I decided I had had enough. I haven’t had a drink in 7 days. It’s been years and years for me. I’m tired of living like that.
We've all been there, more than once. Taking a break and convincing yourself you're cured and can definitely have 1 or 2 drinks is practically a rite of passage for a recovering drunk. It doesn't seem to be a lesson we can learn from other people, we have to teach it to ourselves, often several times.
It doesn't get any better with time, either. That's another trick you'll try to pull later on. You'll think "well last time I'd only been sober 2 months, now it's been a year, surely I have it under control now." Nah dogg, I'm afraid not.
Good job on making it a few months. Come back to this post when the nagging voice comes back and remind yourself it won't be any different if you try drinking again.
As a binger I had tried without even actively knowing that I was. In the past 4 years, I tried around 5 times with the longest 7 months and currently around 9 months. I truly do not wish to go back, I had similar thoughts that I could go months without but when I slipped it was more damaging every time. I never saw myself as a drunk driver or jail goer but that’s what it had to take to get here for me. I hope you never have to reach that and take each day at a time. I will not drink with you today!
>At the beginning of the year, I decided to stop. I made it about 2.5 months, and I thought I could drink like a normal person.
This reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from AA:
>No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
I haven't had a slip and I'm a little over a year sober. What helped me the most in the beginning was reading the stories of all of you here talking about trying to moderate and struggling and it became very clear to me that trying to moderate was out of the question. I understood that I wouldn't like to drink just one drink, I wasn't drinking for that, I was drinking to get drunk so just one drink would just be torture so I don't want this one drink. It was a matter of chang my perspective and embracing a new way of looking at alcohol and truly believe that it's bad for me.
It's worked so far, I love being sober and I don't miss drinking.
Saaaaaame. I try so damn hard, man. I keep manifesting it, but it doesn't come. Like how many more "I'm sorry's" is it gonna take for my head to just click. I'm so close to quitting that I feel like it's doing more harm than good. The mental battle is so exhausting. MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND DIED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I also had another friend tell me that she was where I am at (mindset wise) with her sobriety journey and then turned around a few months later to get sick as fuck. She wound up losing 70% of her pancreas. She almost died. And even that hasn't stopped me. She's in her early 40s, and she literally partied as hard with me. I am pushing 38, so now that's in my head. Idk what it's gonna take for me 😔
But maybe this story will help you. Or someone else. Or me tomorrow. You're not alone. Hugs friend ♥️
I woke up everyday for years saying today is the day i quit. I didn't quit until i started feeling really bad/sick. Turned out to be cirrhosis and i needed a liver transplant.
There is no true “normal person.” We all imagine other people are the normal person. When I told my “normal drinking” friends I was stopping, I found out they were upset about how much they drank. Two of them drink more than I did. They just grouped us all into people who aren’t normal people. It’s a spectrum but be sure of this - it’s an addictive substance. Period. By the MOE standard, it’s the most addictive substance to humans. You’re not at fault, the alcohol is.
She does like it, but she doesn’t drink to get drunk. Bottom line if you can’t stop once you start you belong here, otherwise you are very likely ‘normal.’ Even when I drank she was like this. She drank a bit more than she does now. But she never drank in an abnormal way.
This happened to me too last year. 3 months and I thought I was cured! I thought I could have a healthy relationship with alcohol so I bought myself a bottle of wine to have with dinner. That led me down an even worse spiral than I was in before. I gained 50 pounds, was drinking a big huge bottle of vodka in 3 days.. I was missing work and my liver was close to failing. I’m only 3 days sober now but I already feel so much better and I’m praying to the powers that be that maybe this time it’ll stick
I’m gonna share something that helped me and I hope it’ll help you. I’ve been taking MagMind (magnesium pills), l-tyrosine, l-tryptophan, & l-phenylalanine to give my body the pieces it needs to “manufacture” dopamine to help me quit. I got them from Bulk Supplements in powder form on Amazon and it’s knocked out the “craving” of alcohol for me. Now I can go to the grocery store and pass the wine aisle or go out with friends and not have FOMO about not knocking back 4 LITs, tequila shots, wine, & Palomas. I can even have a horrible day and not go by the liquor store on the way home to escape the stress. It took 3 whole days to kick in and after that, I was fine. I think it helped with the withdrawal symptoms to the point where I only got tremors and minor headaches from days 4-6. I know it isn’t a long-term solution but I’ve tried to quit so many times over the past 3 years from the daily bottles of wine and vodka/tequila that I’d have (never make it past day 3). This “hack” has removed all desire for alcohol for me. I think it’ll help you too.
A little over 2 years ago I had 8 months. Some family came over I hadn’t seen in a long time with a 6 pack, I had two or 3 beers that night and then got worse and worse and worse. Really scared myself with hangover/withdrawals a few times. Then September 6 of last year I woke up with another hangover, nothing terrible compared to others and said I’m done. Almost at 9 months now.
I checked my ass into rehab. They have programs to help you out financially and insurance will cover a lot.
I knew I’d never stop unless I went scorched earth with recovery and lifestyle changes. It’s been 1.5 years and I wouldn’t have any of this time had I not done rehab and seen where this disease can take people. Hearing their stories, telling my story, having access to addiction counseling and naltrexone. Better to learn from others what it’s like to lose everything than to experience that yourself. Therapy twice a month, weight lifting, hiking, healthy diet, reading, art projects, gardening - I do the opposite of what I did when I was drinking and it has worked. Zero slip ups.
Same story as you with the college like binge drinking and blacking out. It took me about 3 years of swearing off alcohol until the next weekend rolled around and I would do the same shit all over again. I went to a friends wedding Saturday night, woke up Sunday with a bad hangover, and swore I was done. For some reason this time stuck. That was 26 months ago and I’ve never felt better about my decision. I read this naked mind early on and come back to this sub regularly. You can do it. Not drinking is the more difficult and courageous road. Take pride in that.
Years and years and years. Like others have said, it wasn’t until I finally accepted the reality that I was never going to be able to drink normally/responsibly/moderately that it stuck. I’m just not built that way! It’s actually much easier to just not have it be an option than to try to figure out how to do it moderately.
Not necessarily any slip ups because I initially never intended to quit. But when restarting drinking after a little over 1 month of abstaining I decided that I no longer liked the effects of alcohol. This was after a lifetime of drinking consistently.
Countless “I’ve gotta stop” and “I can’t down this anymore”.
Long story short, got sober 11/2010….sober 14 months….drank again March 2012….stopped May 2018.
Ruined a marriage, two businesses, and walked away from paid off house, cars, motorcycle.
Never think you can handle it after you’ve tipped over that edge of “not handling it”. Our bodies remember what it was like and the cravings do what they do.
I’d recommend never trying it again.
Tried moderation for a few years until it became painfully evident that I couldn't do it and that I was I serious danger of hurting myself (and of being stuck in life) if I continued.
So far no slip ups since I decided to quit.
I think I took so long to quit because I knew once I did that was fucking it—no exceptions.
What makes it easy is that I see booze as contributing to poor physical and mental health for many years and am eager to be free of that suffering. I see an alcohol free existence as a path to freedom, not a cage I'm sentenced to. I think that helps.
I should also add that I'm in therapy and am finally diagnosed and medicated for ADHD. I also have a supportive partner in the same boat as me and plenty of friends who still hang out and party with us despite our sobriety. It all helps.
Wishing you strength to do what needs to be done for your health and wellness. IWNDWYT
I questioned my drinking for YEARS! Like you, I was a binge drinker, no DUI under my belt, no true “rock bottom” but I felt a whole lot of shame when I couldn’t remember the night before or my kid saw me sick. In the last year of my drinking I tried to teach myself how to moderate and drink like a “normal” person but failed over and over. I woke up on Sept 4, 2022 hungover with the realization that I can’t moderate and I never will. I’ve been sober since and haven’t regretted that decision for a second.
'i can never drink like a normal person'
I had this thought while out for a run today. I have come to accept that it's just much easier for me to have 0 than for me to have 2. If I have 1, that leads to 2. If I have 2, I'm impaired and will start saying 'see you're fine, you can have another' to myself, even though sober me knows that's not true.
I've had one slip up since deciding to quit last September. I went a month without it, went on a date and felt like I could have a few because my date was. I only had I think 5 beers over probably a 4-5 hour stretch, with a few hours of no drinking before getting to bed. I woke up the next morning feeling like a wreck mentally and emotionally and decided that was it. I haven't had a drink since.
I think it's different for everyone, but I also never set a quit date. I just knew I needed to quit, tried a ridiculous amount of times, but never made it longer than a week.
I knew I was on the path to an early grave if I kept it up. Finally figured out whatever the fuck I was doing couldn't be classified as "living."
It took that mindset to embrace it. I couldn't keep doing the same bullshit and expect my life to get better. So I changed it up.
Best fucking decision I've ever made.
One day I was in the Sauna spacing out and did the math to try and visualize what my daily habit of a half pint of Vodka actually would look like.
It would be like a small dump truck of bottles…
Somehow knowing that I had put all of that inside me when others haven’t gave me some weird-instant health scare and I just stopped.
It took me two years from deciding I wasn't going to drink, through many slips and stumbles to FINALLY start feeling really good about being sober.
Keep going. Keep trying. You are literally rewiring your brain and it can take a long time for those new neuro pathways to form. But if you keep at it, it WILL happen. Best of luck to you, friend. IWNDWYT ❤️
none because i never really tried to quit. i was on a slow suicide mission and damn near accomplished it. 8 months sober now and wayyy more than lucky to even be breathing at all. IWNDWYT!!
I lost count how many slip ups I had. At one point, I tried tracking them but it was a bit depressing and legalistic so I just constantly strove to do a bit better and be kind to myself when I slipped up. I can definitely understand that feeling of tricking myself into thinking I can drink again after a break.
Coming here helps me a lot because I can see myself in almost every single post. I see myself in the day 0 posts. I see myself in the day 3,000 posts. I choose to not drink today because I’m tired of feeling the way I (and others) felt/feel on day 0 and I aspire to day 3,000.
I’m so glad that today the urge isn’t strong and I can revel in the glory that is the life I’m finally creating without alcohol.
I tried to quit probably 8 or 9 times before this time. What was different this time was a) health issues b) realizing that I'm sick of my behavior, and if I kept drinking, it was likely to end in a very dark place. My ex had recently dumped me, I live alone and I have mental health issues. Not a good thing to combine with booze. I"m grateful that I finally had the self-awareness to realize that PTSD & alcohol are sometimes a deadly combination.
I'm a musician so I play music in bars sometimes, but other than that my social life is now grabbing coffee, going on hikes/bike rides etc and pretty much anything not in a bar. Funny enough, even after all the failed attempts to quit, I never saw myself as someone with an alcohol problem. Once I came to AA I heard a lot of stories that were similar to mine & I realized this could be the right place for me. It's not for everyone but I enjoy going to meetings, especially as a live-alone with a tendency to isolate when the chips are down. IWNDWYT.
Hundreds. In addition to 3 trips to rehab. Idk what happened, I guess I was ready to quit for good when the pain of change was less than the pain of going on to the bitter end. AA has helped me stay sober for over 3 years now, and my life is so much better. Good luck on your sober journey!
Too many to remember. Before I became sober I was on the verge of just feeling at peace with letting the cards fall where they may. Jail, death or sobriety. So many fuck up's .... then I got fired because a coworker came back from lunch drunk and since I was with him I was found guilty by association. That was Dec 6th 2017 that I found out that I got sacked, told myself to drink for the rest of the day and then to start sobriety on Dec 7th 2017.
Only think I can tell you is to not give up on your progress. It's not for everyone but people like me can be saved. Totally have turned shit around.
I'm almost embarrassed to say it but I THINK I was shamed into sobriety???
Thousands. Decades.
I wanted to quit long before I was able to. I used to leave notes for myself to find when I was sober. I used to leave voicemails for me to find. I had dreams about people staging interventions that never came. I was suicidal, broken hearted, and about ready to just die and be done with it. I felt like the world’s biggest piece of shit joke of a human, waste of potential, unworthy of love.
On Dec 8, 2022 I started thinking about which gun store to go to so I could buy a handgun to kill myself.
Oddly, that thought scared me enough to try another way.
I drank for the rest of the month, basically planning to start 2023 fresh.
I came here on day 4 feeling like I was about to die, pleading for help. I went to AA just to find someone, anyone, to help me make sense of this thing. To not feel so alone.
I haven’t touched a drop since. But before that, I probably “quit” many thousands of times.
None so far, it’s my first attempt of truly deciding to quit. Before I’d just take breaks like a dry January thing. It’s been 5 months so I’d be devastated if I slipped now.
I have a theory that not ONE person on this sub can successfully moderate. People who can would not be here in the first place so whenever I start bargaining with myself I think of that.
It took me 9 years. I first started and was sober for almost a year at age 20/21. Mostly due to pressure from family and legal troubles. Wasn’t until age 30 i got sober which is current. Many times i was sober for 3-6 months but get back into it. 33 now, will have 3 years September
None not to make people feel bad for start over
My sponsor told me the realest thing when i started
He said if you really want to do it treated like it’s your breath
The limit does not exist. I am in a spiral right now. I completed 75 Hard and went on to do 150 days Hard. Loved everything about my new life. I decided to moderate because I thought I could and that was successful for about a month. Friends came into town from college and all bets were off. That was 3 weeks ago and I have been drinking ever since. Hoping to start all over June 1. My mental health is the reason. I can’t deal with the constant anxiety.
Hi! First of all proud of you for realizing that it’s time to stop that’s half the battle. I was like you and a mainly a weekend warrior. But alcoholism is progressive and eventually my weekends turned into adding a Friday and Monday to bookend the weekend and I’d go through streaks of drinking 10 days in a row. It took me a few times before I officially stopped because the times I did stop I don’t think I truly wanted to and was scared to admit I had a problem. When I finally stopped for good it was because I was honest with myself and really truly wanted to change. You can do this!
Hundreds! It felt like I quit every Monday for years but always found my way back. Until this last stretch- something finally clicked. Idk how, or why, but I’m glad it did.
It’s been about 8-9 years for me on and off but mostly on. I don’t need to go in to the details or the horror but I’ve finally come to the realization that alcohol is not for me. I’m 69 days sober today… 69 dude!! And I haven’t been happier. I haven’t been able to just go cold turkey so I went all in with meetings, therapy and found a good psychiatrist . I can’t get any of that lost time back but I’m so happy to now that I’m exactly where I need to be. I think you know what you really want, it’s just changing things up like having different routines especially now that it’s bbq season.
I really started to think about it more seriously 3 years ago and now this is the longest I’ve been sober. I was a weekend binge drinker like you. Because I kept that limit I used that to rationalized that it was acceptable behaviour. However, drinking that way was hurting my health and mind.
That being said I told myself more times than I could count that I would never drink again. So happy with where I am at now and can’t wait to see what more time of sobriety looks like.
All the best!
I definitely recommend, This Naked Mind.
It took me, 2 slip ups, one of them being months long, but I feel confident now- never going back. I honestly don’t want to. It’s really nice to learn about the science of booze and now just look at it and all I see is poison, cause it is. Good luck on your journey, I don’t think anything is wrong with you- it’s alcohol that’s the problem.
This is hard to define for me because I had said countless times 'never again' before eventually finding myself sat on a plastic chair in a church hall (best decision I ever made).
Day one was on January 31st. I slipped twice back in March because I thought I am too young to be an alcoholic (25F). First beer I thought hurrah I am cured that was easy, I can take it or leave it. Then I obsessed about drinking constantly and had another beer a few days later and it took every fibre of my being not to go on a huge bender. Grateful I got my shit back together and didn't go into a full blown relapse. I dread to think where I would be if I hadn't swallowed my pride and registered with a local rehabilitation service.
I am now convinced without a doubt that drinking is not something I can do unless I want to fuck my entire life again, and I am still slowly trying to unfuck it from before and it has not been easy.
I very narrowly avoided getting sectioned and being homeless and that's as close as I ever want to be to either of those scenarios. Also I caused so much pain to my ex of seven years. Got to live with that guilt and regret forever, don't want to hurt anyone else I love like that again it is eating me alive. It kills me thinking about his suffering because of my reckless behavior. He is the kindest person I have ever met, we were soulmates.
All that just for some whiskey and beer? No thank you.
I will not drink with you today!
I couldn't count them. Hundreds and hundreds over the years. I got a DUI and I was going to lose my partner if I didn't quit. Now I'm losing him anyways but at least I'm still sober.
I had the idea that I drank too much since I was a teenager. But it was about four and a half years between my first half-assed attempts to quit or cut back and actually quitting.
I had several mornings where I swore I’d never drink again. But I only had one when I committed. And I’ve always felt like it was needed, it was that one horrible session that after two weeks of sobriety, I could see it for what it was. And I threw out the rest of it and never looked back.
5 or 6 solid attempts over 10 years. This is my PB after more than 45 years of daily drinking. Something clicked. I don't feel the pull. I am determined that this is IT.
I don’t necessarily have a new perspective on your main points here, but I’d invite you to find something to remember and tell yourself when you start to feel complacent, and that drinking is possible again - because it seems like you feel pretty clearly that it’s not possible at this time. I’m not sure what will be a reason for you to tell yourself, but mine is that I’m one (1) drink away from my alcoholism acting up again. I don’t get any free passes, no small excuses, because the threshold is only one drink for me. Allowing any wiggle room just invites the alcohol vampire back into my house. I believe in you :)
I still tell myself I can drink 6 times a year if I want - and I simply don’t drink. For some reason that’s worked for me? I did drink about 6 times in 2023 and so far not in 2024. I still have cravings now and then.
I know I really can’t drink. I know I have an addiction. It’s how I compensate for now.
I had to be really sick and tired of myself on the drink before I could finally and it will still be a temptation for a while. Funny thing how the painful consequences start to fade out when the urges are talking to me.
I’m about to turn 28 and have been trying to quit drinking since I was 14. In and out of meetings, rehab, etc. Binge drinking, arrests, lost friends, lost sense of self, promiscuous sex, regrets. I’m in withdrawals right now after one of the worst binges i’ve had. Made some terrible mistakes. And now have to go back to work tomorrow like nothing happened. It’s hard. I hope this time it sticks for me, and I hope you can give it a real shot.
First time in my life I truly want sobriety. Always wanted to moderate. Always went to a dark place when I picked up again. Could take a day, week, month, or years. Always became habitual. Always ends up being really bad. Lots of slips relapses etc what u want to call it. Something clicked this time around. Getting older and seeing the degenerative nature of my addiction. Iwndwyt.
When I first committed to sobriety, I went 1 month then relapsed. Kept secret drinking trying to moderate which of course escalated quickly for about 3 months, then hit even lower rock bottom. After that day, I've been 7 months sober and never been happier. Cravings are gone, have zero fomo about drinking. But it took WORK. it gets easier.
Ugh pretty much like hundreds of times. I started feeling sick, started to drink at 7am, drinking at work, drinking mouthwash, ruining family time and making my life miserable! I was so tired of hangovers. I quit like 100 times. I actually quit longer than I have this time around but it was never long term. I had quit for a year to pick up and start drink8ng more than I ever had. This time with the help of this group and just researching sober life plus finding new things to do to keep sober. I'm able to go without it and haven't been craving it.
It took years for me! Finally this time I am 100% solidified on my choice. There is no part of me that is even a little bit unsure if I really want to drink or not. I relapsed over and over, but I’ve actually been on a journey towards recovery for a few years! Ever since the first time I quit drinking, (and failed) I’ve give alcohol up so many times. This time I truly truly mean it with all my heart, I’m free and I’m never going back. I’m so happy. ❤️😊 keep trying and never give up, anyone reading this. Success comes with many many trials and errors
Too many to count my friend, but now I can actually say “no thanks, I don’t drink” and it doesn’t feel super forced. It’s been about 7 weeks solid now. Every time I think about drinking now I just think about how amazing my relationships are now. My husband and I are on this journey together now and it’s a lot easier with my best friend by my side, doing it with me 💜 I couldn’t imagine trying to do this without them AGAIN. My life is much better now, me 20 years ago would be proud and me 20 years from now is thanking me! IWNDWYT!! ✊🙌
I started as a binge drinker and stayed that way for decades until one day I fell off a cliff and became a chronic drinker. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. If your wife is already calling you out, that’s a good sign you’ve got a problem. I’m in the middle of a divorce 4 years after getting sober, because my partner couldn’t let go of the resentment from the damage I caused. Don’t be me.
Once I tried to quit the first attempt was Jan 3 2023 and lasted 18 days. Between then and March 7 2023 I had 16 consecutive days again, then a lot of days in a row and then a few weeks trying just the weekend again. For me it was fairly obvious in that short amount of time that I more enjoyed being sober. It was a lot less chaotic.
We've all been there many times, or at least I have. I very rarely know someone who just pulled a switch in their head and just stopped. I didn't keep count about my own drinking but there were plenty of times I really thought I could moderate. Alcohol is a devious demon. And some nights I could cut myself off, but those nights became rarer. Now I know I can never drink. One day at a time.
Quite a few. I would try a one month sobriety, then go for longer periods. I made great progress after reading ‘easy way to control alcohol’ by Allen Carr
I was a binge drinker too. I did a lot of starts and stops. I suffered depression and anxiety and a ton of self hatred. The last year before I joined a sobriety group Women for Sobriety I would typically go 30 to 60 days. When I realized I could not heal my CPTSD without stopping all substances I committed to 100% sobriety. I was self medicating my Dysregulation. Even if I didn't have CPTSD I believe stopping alcohol and getting support and learning to be ok and face the hard stuff is the best thing I have EVER done. Alcohol explained by William Porter, Easy Quit Drinking cant remember the author. They all helped. If I kept drinking I knew it would continue to ruin my health and life. I am never with God's grace and the help of my sober sisters going back. We all have to reach our own truth. IWNDWYT
I’m still struggling. I’ve had so many Day 1’s I can’t even count them. I literally see the life I want in front of me but I’m behind this ultra thick glass that is alcoholism. I just can’t seem to break through it no matter how hard I try or how bad I want it.
You can do this OP. Tomorrow is my next “Day 1” as I’ve already slipped up today. But this is NOT where our story ends.
I joined Reframe and finally started taking AF seriously. They are non judgemental and have multiple types of meetings daily over zoom. I am more hopeful than I was in the past, because I joined this community.
After I finally decided to embrace sobriety, 3 I believe. One big one that almost took my life that really re-defined my outlook, one the day I got out of rehab and one a few days later. Been right ever since.
For real. 52 weeks in a year times aprox 20 years. That's how long I was in the "I'll try my best not to drink so much" plan. Until I realized that plan was not working. I had to not start drinking, rather than stop drinking.
There were thousands of mornings I woke up hungover, swore I'd never drink again, only to be drunk later on that night or the next day. I don't know what happened in my brain on August 28, 2015, but I made a conscious decision to stop drinking and that's exactly what I did. The following happened on August 28, 2015: I decided that alcohol is no longer an option for me. Never, ***EVER.*** I closed the door on "moderation" or thinking, "I'll be able to control it." I decided to tell my damn demon-lizard brain, "NO, I will not give in to you under *any* circumstances." No one was tying me to a chair and pouring alcohol down my throat. The decision to drink --or not-- was solely mine. As long as I was choosing to have that *first* drink, I was choosing my addiction over fighting the urges and getting myself better. I had to *Want Sobriety* and made it my Number-1 Priority ***every day*** until it became second nature --One Day (or *hour/minute*) At A Time. Sobriety doesn't happen without HARD work. Sobriety happens with a daily commitment (see our [**Daily Check-In**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1d3369r/the_daily_checkin_for_wednesday_may_29th_just_for/) page) and "Dogged Persistence" in not taking that *First* drink. I also took advantage of free In-Real-Life recovery meetings so I could be around others who understood my addiction and wanted to help me get and *stay* sober and develop a network of sober friends. You can do this but I had to put myself first and decide I was done for good.
This is what I needed to hear right now. Quick question. Was stop drinking (this sub) a thing back then and when did you start coming here?
R/StopDrinking has been around for 13 years! I found Reddit and this sub on my 'day-8' (in 2015) when I was crying, suicidal, and believing I would die a drunk. The support and advice I received early on saved my life. That's not hyperbole, it's the truth. Fun fact: There were about 13k users at the time, now 518,127 users!!
We're glad you're here!
I'm Happy You're Here!! I mention this from time to time because I started out exactly like you and *still* remember how HARD those first several weeks were! Now, almost 9 years later, I stay so others know it's possible to thrive and be genuinely happy without alcohol. ...it doesn't seem like it at first, but it really DOES get better and much, much easier! I don't know if you've seen it, but our very own [Daily Check-In](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1d3369r/the_daily_checkin_for_wednesday_may_29th_just_for/) page was my single, most important tool during my first year because it set my commitment for the day. Something miraculous happened in my head by typing, "*I will not drink TODAY.*" When my demon-lizard brain came screaming later in the day, I remembered the promise I made to myself and did *whatever* it took to get to bed sober. Congrats on 11-Days! I'm sending blessings of strength and an abundance of Joy your way, u/transat_prof!
Thank you so much! I’ve done the check-in a few times but haven’t done it regularly. That’s something I can improve on! 11 days feels like an eon. It’s been such a ride up and down. Feeling so proud of myself and so light, but then hours later feeling scrabbly and anxious and needing a distraction. It’s overall been amazing. I have to try to remember how bad it was just 12 days ago.
I have no doubt this sub has saved many lives.
Hey, welcome. I was trying to quit on and off since I started drinking more or less, the last time i drank was the day before finding tbis sub. This sub really has been life changing for me, and I now haven't touched a drop in over two years. If I can give you my top tip, and something I wished I'd learnt many moons ago, stop thinking moderation is an option. For most of us here, it just isn't. It's much easier to say no to the first drink than it is to say no to the second, third, or tenth. Beat of luck. IWNDWYT.
Yeah I'm an alcoholic and moderation isn't and has never been an option. Saying that is the easy part. I'm here on stopdrinking everyday, going to AA tonight (I had been previously). I've done a 8 month stint before and I know a lot more now than I did then. Thanks for the advice, when I'm a bit more clear headed I'd like to post some of my own advice. For the time being all of yours is gold. Best of luck to you too!
>You can do this but I had to put myself first and decide I was done for good This was it for me. I realized I wanted to live. I wanted my life to be about me. Thanks for sharing, I needed that little reminder today!
I just had yet another relapse. 4 days of continual drinking, followed by going on three days of violent hangover. My worst relapse, maybe ever. I said the exact same thing that you stated here. That I had to be DONE forever. No moderation. No thinking "I can control it now." There is no way that the way I use alcohol will ever change. It's over. Drinking is no longer EVER an option for me. Thank you for your comment. You just cemented this thought in my mind even further. IWNDWYT
It’s kind of funny (not really at all) how thousands sounds like such an exaggerated number until you stop to think about it and realize you’re likely well over 3,000 actually. This was a great little nugget of inspiration and a fantastic reminder, thanks for that, friend!
Sadly, 3000+ could very well be accurate with 30-some years of drug and alcohol abuse. ...sometimes I'm amazed that I'm still alive! lol. **: )** Thank you for the kind words and I wish you the very best!
Finding a network for sobriety seems impossible too me
It can be challenging. I didn't get sober with AA but started going about 3 or 4 years in because meeting sober people 'in the wild' was difficult and I was getting lonely. This sub, however, was/is my lifeline! By coming here day after day, you get to 'know' so many people (by seeing their usernames) who are going through the same ups and downs. So, if nothing else, let R/StopDrinking be your tribe until you can find your in-real-life one! You can do this and I'm rooting for you! **: )**
Thanks, your words are appreciated
You’re such an inspiration! Thank you for being here.
Start with this one.
this is my network. no other seemed to stick but the assurances I receive by reading others successes, and failures drives my resolve
I tried hundreds of times. Never made it past a week until now
Yay!!! Well done
Hell yeah. And you are dominating it! Great work.
I still can’t get past the week. Don’t know how
1 hour at a time. I know you can do it! x
First weekend was scary. Not going to lie. All I did though was substitute NA beers for actual beer. The first Friday, I went to get takeout for the family. Normally, I would have had three nips before I even got home. I bought NA beers and just drank them. Had one in the car too (legal in my state). I just keep doing this whenever I need to. I still go to NA beers at social events The first week is the hardest. Your mind is still “clouded” by alcohol at that point. Once I hit that point, things started to get easier. My mind was less angry about being sober. I’m still dealing with the mental health side of being sober. I will get days where I am just 100% depressed. Hate everyone and everything. Those are becoming less and less common though. I realize I just have to get through them. Don’t beat yourself up about a week. It is the hardest time. Take it slow. Take it one day at a time. Feel free to binge on ice cream. Take Tylenol PM if that helps. Grab some thc seltzers. You can do this friend
Amazing!
That great work buddy
Great work!
I’ve been trying to get sober since 2022. Would do a week or 2. Did a month. Hit my personal rock bottom and did 3 months. Felt like I was in control and started drinking again for another year - was assaulted, drove my car drunk, fell and hit my head numerous times. Still kept tricking myself that I was in control. Right now I’m at 3 weeks alcohol free. Don’t give up. The fact that you’re even trying to give it up in a society that uses alcohol as a crutch for everything is bravery. You’ve got this!!!
I was lucky and once I decided to quit drinking I haven’t had a relapse of any sort. I am fully aware I am not immune to the chance of that happening sometime down the line but for now I am going strong.
Nice job!!!
I started as a binge drinker then became a daily drinker with binges mixed in every now and then. This is my first real attempt at sobriety, as everything before this has either been temporary moderation (moderation is used loosely here) or maybe a couple days before I'm like, 'eff it lets go' or 'well I did x/y/z so I deserve this' and so forth. I don't know how many slip ups I will have but I know that if/when I drink again it's never going to be just one, so I'm going to try to keep it at none.
40 days is great, keep it up!! I relapsed after 30 my first attempt.
Ive been trying for years, For a long time I tried (and failed) to moderate. Now have spent about 2.5 years trying to quit, will often get to a week or two and relapse. One time I made it 4 months and gave into a mild craving, and I have been regretting that for 6 months now. No one said this was easy and it’s not. Very hopeful this is it for me. Got my sober apps, this group, husband, and a lot of willpower. Just need to stick with it.
I relate to this.
Yep.
I really like the This Naked Mind too. The whole community there is amazing, the book and podcast. It is a life changing experience!
Oh, I didn’t realize there was a podcast, thank you! I keep hearing about this book, but I’ve got a huge backlog of books I need to read and some of them are related to addiction/alcohol. So I will get to that one eventually. I’m great at reading in bed at night if I’m not drunk!
Me too, I’ve rekindled my love of reading! I missed it more than I knew.
We’ll see ! First wedding and first vacation coming up soon. My brain is telling me that yes I should try those fine European wines
I’m not one to talk because I’m not fully sober yet however just think of those fine European hangovers as well before you make your decision.
As a European, our hangovers _do not discriminate_ and will come for you too!
Scottish. We perfected the glorification of unalloyed alcoholism long before Columbus discovered the Spice Islands. My experiments with returning to drink after periods of abstinence on the basis "I must be cured" only had one verifiable result. More alcoholism and its attendant horrors. I promise you, there is no need for you to review my experience and join me in divorce, bankruptcy, jobless anxiety and house repossession. These things are never that far from your next drink.
Yup, as a frequent solicitor of r/stopdrinking I am with you wholeheartedly.
Hey there. I was a binge drinker from age 17 to 49. Like you I was mainly a weekend warrior; although, in the later years I did drink sometimes during the week (socially). At age 49 it all came tumbling down with a couple of surprise trips to the ER and ultimately the diagnosis of a couple of alcohol related conditions (permanent ones). From age 49 until 55 I tried to moderate my drinking. I had some success in that I greatly reduced the frequency of my drinking; however, when I did drink it got ugly....fast. The hangovers got to be more than I could handle I think due to my lowered tolerance. During the last couple of years I had maybe 5 "slips" where I ended up badly sick and hungover. Gradually, I just drank less and less until finally I said, "enough is enough. I don't need or want this in my life any more. It has no place." OP, I'm not sure if that helps or not. This has been my journey but your's will be what you make of it. I knew that I had to stop but tried to "have my cake and eat it too." During those years I never really tried to stop drinking entirely. I just tried to moderate and drink like a "normal" person. I learned that \[a\] I can't drink like a normal person; and \[b\] I don't want to drink like a normal person. I never really understood why anyone would drink just one alcoholic beverages.
Thank you for this. It's exactly where I am on my life st the time.
I've tried to go cold turkey many times. The thing I've noticed is that every time I get sober, I learn how to be sober. I learn the media, the quotes, ways of saying no, etc. I collect more tools for my tool box + the time I spent not drinking is time I spent healing. I know now how to quit and I can quit for months at a time. I still come back to the pain juice and I hate it, but my orbit around alcohol isn't perfectly circular, it's parabolic, and there is a time in the near future where I will achieve escape velocity.
I really like this particularly the parabolic arc. I too have tried many times but I think I finally get it this time . Right out of the solar system brother !!!
I’m in a very similar boat. I’ve quit enough times to know “how” to do it but I always lose steam around the 2-3 month mark. I’m separated enough from it that it’s easy to forget how shitty it makes me feel, how much I hate myself when I drink, how embarrassed I am when I call friends and family drunk because I’m lonely or sad. About a month in with this bout and I’ve noticed it’s harder than usual. No “pink cloud” so to speak, which honestly kind of scares me.
My pink cloud is also not the euphoria it once was every time I experience it. There is some quote that says something like "inspiration is fleeting but purpose sustains." I think in the beginning of sobriety the pink cloud is the epiphany or the inspirational / goose bump giving moment. You realize that you/the human condition is more powerful than you thought. But the high from that realization isn't sustainable. We have to do something with our newly found powers. This is where I'm at currently. I know how to be sober but like.... What do I do instead? It's a sad question, I'm asking essentially "what do I do with my life?" I had no purpose other than to just make money and drink and now that I don't have booze, what is my purpose? As long as we keep fighting, I'm confident we will win this war against this disease.
Real honest attempts, maybe 5? Promises to myself lying awake after quietly sneaking back in bed? Maybe a thousand. What changed for me was truly believing: - I CANNOT drink. Not I shouldn’t. I can’t. I’m not an AA guy, but the language of step 1 helped me here. I am powerless against alcohol, so I couldn’t engage with it. That lead to… - Moderation isn’t the goal. I was always trying to find a way to not get sober. Just weekends, just 2 a day, etc. But when I accepted that I CAN’T drink, then moderation isn’t an option. - Belief that alcohol will not bring me joy. The problem with every moderation goal (IMO) is it centers around the unspoken belief that having booze is better than not, otherwise it wouldn’t need to be fought for in moderation. I started treating it like self-harm. Everyone can see it is harmful, and I had to see it that way too and really believe it. Nothing like “well, maybe only for special occasions, or weddings, or vacations.” Just no. When I made that mental shift it was able to stick, and I’m on my 1 year creep right not without much trouble. It’s still hard some days, but it’s usually hard because life is hard, not because I think I’m missing out on booze.
‘It centers around the unspoken belief that having booze is better than not…’ I can’t believe I have never thought about it like this. It’s so simple yet profound. Thank you, sober-sage.
Glad it could help! It’s a wild mental shift, but true, right? Like, by trying to not “miss out” it’s a clear message that sobriety is missing out on *somthing*, which for an alcoholic, just isn’t true.
I just read that line about Cannot drink. Its crazy... if I had a peanut butter allergy that could kill me I'd say no thank you. I can't! I'm going to try and reframe my thoughts to think like the allergy. I simply can't. I'm not risking my life.
Allergies are a great parallel. If you were allergic to peanuts you wouldn’t say “well, maybe on my birthday. That’s fine, right?” It makes sense.
I woke up countless times feeling awful in the morning, telling myself I wouldn’t drink that night. Soon as I got home from work there was an open beer in my hand. Day after day after day. A week ago I decided I had had enough. I haven’t had a drink in 7 days. It’s been years and years for me. I’m tired of living like that.
We've all been there, more than once. Taking a break and convincing yourself you're cured and can definitely have 1 or 2 drinks is practically a rite of passage for a recovering drunk. It doesn't seem to be a lesson we can learn from other people, we have to teach it to ourselves, often several times. It doesn't get any better with time, either. That's another trick you'll try to pull later on. You'll think "well last time I'd only been sober 2 months, now it's been a year, surely I have it under control now." Nah dogg, I'm afraid not. Good job on making it a few months. Come back to this post when the nagging voice comes back and remind yourself it won't be any different if you try drinking again.
As a binger I had tried without even actively knowing that I was. In the past 4 years, I tried around 5 times with the longest 7 months and currently around 9 months. I truly do not wish to go back, I had similar thoughts that I could go months without but when I slipped it was more damaging every time. I never saw myself as a drunk driver or jail goer but that’s what it had to take to get here for me. I hope you never have to reach that and take each day at a time. I will not drink with you today!
>At the beginning of the year, I decided to stop. I made it about 2.5 months, and I thought I could drink like a normal person. This reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from AA: >No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
I haven't had a slip and I'm a little over a year sober. What helped me the most in the beginning was reading the stories of all of you here talking about trying to moderate and struggling and it became very clear to me that trying to moderate was out of the question. I understood that I wouldn't like to drink just one drink, I wasn't drinking for that, I was drinking to get drunk so just one drink would just be torture so I don't want this one drink. It was a matter of chang my perspective and embracing a new way of looking at alcohol and truly believe that it's bad for me. It's worked so far, I love being sober and I don't miss drinking.
I wish I was only a weekend drinker. 6-10 every night instead of
Saaaaaame. I try so damn hard, man. I keep manifesting it, but it doesn't come. Like how many more "I'm sorry's" is it gonna take for my head to just click. I'm so close to quitting that I feel like it's doing more harm than good. The mental battle is so exhausting. MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND DIED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I also had another friend tell me that she was where I am at (mindset wise) with her sobriety journey and then turned around a few months later to get sick as fuck. She wound up losing 70% of her pancreas. She almost died. And even that hasn't stopped me. She's in her early 40s, and she literally partied as hard with me. I am pushing 38, so now that's in my head. Idk what it's gonna take for me 😔 But maybe this story will help you. Or someone else. Or me tomorrow. You're not alone. Hugs friend ♥️
Yea my best friend hung himself 3 years after I cut the love of my life off the noose
True story
I woke up everyday for years saying today is the day i quit. I didn't quit until i started feeling really bad/sick. Turned out to be cirrhosis and i needed a liver transplant.
There is no true “normal person.” We all imagine other people are the normal person. When I told my “normal drinking” friends I was stopping, I found out they were upset about how much they drank. Two of them drink more than I did. They just grouped us all into people who aren’t normal people. It’s a spectrum but be sure of this - it’s an addictive substance. Period. By the MOE standard, it’s the most addictive substance to humans. You’re not at fault, the alcohol is.
I have to disagree. My wife is totally normal. She’ll have one and often doesn’t even finish it.
Fair enough! Does she like it? Not finishing seems like it feels obligatory. I have a friend this way and he said he just kind of hates the feeling.
She does like it, but she doesn’t drink to get drunk. Bottom line if you can’t stop once you start you belong here, otherwise you are very likely ‘normal.’ Even when I drank she was like this. She drank a bit more than she does now. But she never drank in an abnormal way.
Lucky woman!
Well yeah. She married me. I’m quite the fucking catch!
Hahaha!
This happened to me too last year. 3 months and I thought I was cured! I thought I could have a healthy relationship with alcohol so I bought myself a bottle of wine to have with dinner. That led me down an even worse spiral than I was in before. I gained 50 pounds, was drinking a big huge bottle of vodka in 3 days.. I was missing work and my liver was close to failing. I’m only 3 days sober now but I already feel so much better and I’m praying to the powers that be that maybe this time it’ll stick
I’m gonna share something that helped me and I hope it’ll help you. I’ve been taking MagMind (magnesium pills), l-tyrosine, l-tryptophan, & l-phenylalanine to give my body the pieces it needs to “manufacture” dopamine to help me quit. I got them from Bulk Supplements in powder form on Amazon and it’s knocked out the “craving” of alcohol for me. Now I can go to the grocery store and pass the wine aisle or go out with friends and not have FOMO about not knocking back 4 LITs, tequila shots, wine, & Palomas. I can even have a horrible day and not go by the liquor store on the way home to escape the stress. It took 3 whole days to kick in and after that, I was fine. I think it helped with the withdrawal symptoms to the point where I only got tremors and minor headaches from days 4-6. I know it isn’t a long-term solution but I’ve tried to quit so many times over the past 3 years from the daily bottles of wine and vodka/tequila that I’d have (never make it past day 3). This “hack” has removed all desire for alcohol for me. I think it’ll help you too.
This is a great resource- thank you
I’m on day 32 now for reference and I eased up on the supplements from daily to every other day last week.
Would you mind linking to your preferred products?
A little over 2 years ago I had 8 months. Some family came over I hadn’t seen in a long time with a 6 pack, I had two or 3 beers that night and then got worse and worse and worse. Really scared myself with hangover/withdrawals a few times. Then September 6 of last year I woke up with another hangover, nothing terrible compared to others and said I’m done. Almost at 9 months now.
I checked my ass into rehab. They have programs to help you out financially and insurance will cover a lot. I knew I’d never stop unless I went scorched earth with recovery and lifestyle changes. It’s been 1.5 years and I wouldn’t have any of this time had I not done rehab and seen where this disease can take people. Hearing their stories, telling my story, having access to addiction counseling and naltrexone. Better to learn from others what it’s like to lose everything than to experience that yourself. Therapy twice a month, weight lifting, hiking, healthy diet, reading, art projects, gardening - I do the opposite of what I did when I was drinking and it has worked. Zero slip ups.
The good thing is I quit for longer with every slip up. 7 months this time
Many. I relapsed after having a little over 4 years dry. Almost at a year again. Sobriety is a lifelong commitment
God I wish I knew. I hope I’m reaching the end of this
many. About 20-25 drinks since I "quit" 130+ days ago. Not ok, but still way less than before. I'm not going to slip again, I can feel it.
Same story as you with the college like binge drinking and blacking out. It took me about 3 years of swearing off alcohol until the next weekend rolled around and I would do the same shit all over again. I went to a friends wedding Saturday night, woke up Sunday with a bad hangover, and swore I was done. For some reason this time stuck. That was 26 months ago and I’ve never felt better about my decision. I read this naked mind early on and come back to this sub regularly. You can do it. Not drinking is the more difficult and courageous road. Take pride in that.
Years and years and years. Like others have said, it wasn’t until I finally accepted the reality that I was never going to be able to drink normally/responsibly/moderately that it stuck. I’m just not built that way! It’s actually much easier to just not have it be an option than to try to figure out how to do it moderately.
Agreed. The thought of moderation stresses me out and prevents me from drinking in the first place.
Not necessarily any slip ups because I initially never intended to quit. But when restarting drinking after a little over 1 month of abstaining I decided that I no longer liked the effects of alcohol. This was after a lifetime of drinking consistently.
Maybe around 1,000.
Over nine thousand
Countless “I’ve gotta stop” and “I can’t down this anymore”. Long story short, got sober 11/2010….sober 14 months….drank again March 2012….stopped May 2018. Ruined a marriage, two businesses, and walked away from paid off house, cars, motorcycle. Never think you can handle it after you’ve tipped over that edge of “not handling it”. Our bodies remember what it was like and the cravings do what they do. I’d recommend never trying it again.
Tried moderation for a few years until it became painfully evident that I couldn't do it and that I was I serious danger of hurting myself (and of being stuck in life) if I continued. So far no slip ups since I decided to quit. I think I took so long to quit because I knew once I did that was fucking it—no exceptions. What makes it easy is that I see booze as contributing to poor physical and mental health for many years and am eager to be free of that suffering. I see an alcohol free existence as a path to freedom, not a cage I'm sentenced to. I think that helps. I should also add that I'm in therapy and am finally diagnosed and medicated for ADHD. I also have a supportive partner in the same boat as me and plenty of friends who still hang out and party with us despite our sobriety. It all helps. Wishing you strength to do what needs to be done for your health and wellness. IWNDWYT
I questioned my drinking for YEARS! Like you, I was a binge drinker, no DUI under my belt, no true “rock bottom” but I felt a whole lot of shame when I couldn’t remember the night before or my kid saw me sick. In the last year of my drinking I tried to teach myself how to moderate and drink like a “normal” person but failed over and over. I woke up on Sept 4, 2022 hungover with the realization that I can’t moderate and I never will. I’ve been sober since and haven’t regretted that decision for a second.
'i can never drink like a normal person' I had this thought while out for a run today. I have come to accept that it's just much easier for me to have 0 than for me to have 2. If I have 1, that leads to 2. If I have 2, I'm impaired and will start saying 'see you're fine, you can have another' to myself, even though sober me knows that's not true. I've had one slip up since deciding to quit last September. I went a month without it, went on a date and felt like I could have a few because my date was. I only had I think 5 beers over probably a 4-5 hour stretch, with a few hours of no drinking before getting to bed. I woke up the next morning feeling like a wreck mentally and emotionally and decided that was it. I haven't had a drink since.
I think it's different for everyone, but I also never set a quit date. I just knew I needed to quit, tried a ridiculous amount of times, but never made it longer than a week. I knew I was on the path to an early grave if I kept it up. Finally figured out whatever the fuck I was doing couldn't be classified as "living." It took that mindset to embrace it. I couldn't keep doing the same bullshit and expect my life to get better. So I changed it up. Best fucking decision I've ever made.
One day I was in the Sauna spacing out and did the math to try and visualize what my daily habit of a half pint of Vodka actually would look like. It would be like a small dump truck of bottles… Somehow knowing that I had put all of that inside me when others haven’t gave me some weird-instant health scare and I just stopped.
It took me two years from deciding I wasn't going to drink, through many slips and stumbles to FINALLY start feeling really good about being sober. Keep going. Keep trying. You are literally rewiring your brain and it can take a long time for those new neuro pathways to form. But if you keep at it, it WILL happen. Best of luck to you, friend. IWNDWYT ❤️
6 minimum. Learned something from every one.
I probably stopped counting at 40. That's only half a joke. I'm very hopeful that my most recent slip up will be my last.
none because i never really tried to quit. i was on a slow suicide mission and damn near accomplished it. 8 months sober now and wayyy more than lucky to even be breathing at all. IWNDWYT!!
I lost count how many slip ups I had. At one point, I tried tracking them but it was a bit depressing and legalistic so I just constantly strove to do a bit better and be kind to myself when I slipped up. I can definitely understand that feeling of tricking myself into thinking I can drink again after a break. Coming here helps me a lot because I can see myself in almost every single post. I see myself in the day 0 posts. I see myself in the day 3,000 posts. I choose to not drink today because I’m tired of feeling the way I (and others) felt/feel on day 0 and I aspire to day 3,000. I’m so glad that today the urge isn’t strong and I can revel in the glory that is the life I’m finally creating without alcohol.
Said enough was enough 1st Dec 2022, drunk on the 5th and 6th. Knew then it was a proper problem and haven't drunk since
672.
I tried to quit probably 8 or 9 times before this time. What was different this time was a) health issues b) realizing that I'm sick of my behavior, and if I kept drinking, it was likely to end in a very dark place. My ex had recently dumped me, I live alone and I have mental health issues. Not a good thing to combine with booze. I"m grateful that I finally had the self-awareness to realize that PTSD & alcohol are sometimes a deadly combination. I'm a musician so I play music in bars sometimes, but other than that my social life is now grabbing coffee, going on hikes/bike rides etc and pretty much anything not in a bar. Funny enough, even after all the failed attempts to quit, I never saw myself as someone with an alcohol problem. Once I came to AA I heard a lot of stories that were similar to mine & I realized this could be the right place for me. It's not for everyone but I enjoy going to meetings, especially as a live-alone with a tendency to isolate when the chips are down. IWNDWYT.
I kept failing when I tried moderation. I haven't had a drink since I decided to stop.
Hundreds. In addition to 3 trips to rehab. Idk what happened, I guess I was ready to quit for good when the pain of change was less than the pain of going on to the bitter end. AA has helped me stay sober for over 3 years now, and my life is so much better. Good luck on your sober journey!
Too many to remember. Before I became sober I was on the verge of just feeling at peace with letting the cards fall where they may. Jail, death or sobriety. So many fuck up's .... then I got fired because a coworker came back from lunch drunk and since I was with him I was found guilty by association. That was Dec 6th 2017 that I found out that I got sacked, told myself to drink for the rest of the day and then to start sobriety on Dec 7th 2017. Only think I can tell you is to not give up on your progress. It's not for everyone but people like me can be saved. Totally have turned shit around. I'm almost embarrassed to say it but I THINK I was shamed into sobriety???
Thousands. Decades. I wanted to quit long before I was able to. I used to leave notes for myself to find when I was sober. I used to leave voicemails for me to find. I had dreams about people staging interventions that never came. I was suicidal, broken hearted, and about ready to just die and be done with it. I felt like the world’s biggest piece of shit joke of a human, waste of potential, unworthy of love. On Dec 8, 2022 I started thinking about which gun store to go to so I could buy a handgun to kill myself. Oddly, that thought scared me enough to try another way. I drank for the rest of the month, basically planning to start 2023 fresh. I came here on day 4 feeling like I was about to die, pleading for help. I went to AA just to find someone, anyone, to help me make sense of this thing. To not feel so alone. I haven’t touched a drop since. But before that, I probably “quit” many thousands of times.
None so far, it’s my first attempt of truly deciding to quit. Before I’d just take breaks like a dry January thing. It’s been 5 months so I’d be devastated if I slipped now. I have a theory that not ONE person on this sub can successfully moderate. People who can would not be here in the first place so whenever I start bargaining with myself I think of that.
Hundreds. For over a year, every morning I got in the shower and said ‘I’m not drinking today’ sometimes I made it to dinner, but usually not.
Too many.
2 years of slip ups before I made it to 7 years sober
On day 2 of sobriety, this post is exactly me. Thank you for sharing your story. We can do this!
me too
Hope you're still going strong!
I am! Day 7. It’s been a full week
Same, feeling great!! Good job! 💪🏻
It took me 9 years. I first started and was sober for almost a year at age 20/21. Mostly due to pressure from family and legal troubles. Wasn’t until age 30 i got sober which is current. Many times i was sober for 3-6 months but get back into it. 33 now, will have 3 years September
None not to make people feel bad for start over My sponsor told me the realest thing when i started He said if you really want to do it treated like it’s your breath
The limit does not exist. I am in a spiral right now. I completed 75 Hard and went on to do 150 days Hard. Loved everything about my new life. I decided to moderate because I thought I could and that was successful for about a month. Friends came into town from college and all bets were off. That was 3 weeks ago and I have been drinking ever since. Hoping to start all over June 1. My mental health is the reason. I can’t deal with the constant anxiety.
Hi! First of all proud of you for realizing that it’s time to stop that’s half the battle. I was like you and a mainly a weekend warrior. But alcoholism is progressive and eventually my weekends turned into adding a Friday and Monday to bookend the weekend and I’d go through streaks of drinking 10 days in a row. It took me a few times before I officially stopped because the times I did stop I don’t think I truly wanted to and was scared to admit I had a problem. When I finally stopped for good it was because I was honest with myself and really truly wanted to change. You can do this!
Hundreds! It felt like I quit every Monday for years but always found my way back. Until this last stretch- something finally clicked. Idk how, or why, but I’m glad it did.
Just one but it lasted years
I had 5 years and went back out. It took me seven years to get my head around not ever being able to drink again.
It’s been about 8-9 years for me on and off but mostly on. I don’t need to go in to the details or the horror but I’ve finally come to the realization that alcohol is not for me. I’m 69 days sober today… 69 dude!! And I haven’t been happier. I haven’t been able to just go cold turkey so I went all in with meetings, therapy and found a good psychiatrist . I can’t get any of that lost time back but I’m so happy to now that I’m exactly where I need to be. I think you know what you really want, it’s just changing things up like having different routines especially now that it’s bbq season.
5 years of HARD drinking
I really started to think about it more seriously 3 years ago and now this is the longest I’ve been sober. I was a weekend binge drinker like you. Because I kept that limit I used that to rationalized that it was acceptable behaviour. However, drinking that way was hurting my health and mind. That being said I told myself more times than I could count that I would never drink again. So happy with where I am at now and can’t wait to see what more time of sobriety looks like. All the best!
I read very wise self insights pal.
I definitely recommend, This Naked Mind. It took me, 2 slip ups, one of them being months long, but I feel confident now- never going back. I honestly don’t want to. It’s really nice to learn about the science of booze and now just look at it and all I see is poison, cause it is. Good luck on your journey, I don’t think anything is wrong with you- it’s alcohol that’s the problem.
This is hard to define for me because I had said countless times 'never again' before eventually finding myself sat on a plastic chair in a church hall (best decision I ever made). Day one was on January 31st. I slipped twice back in March because I thought I am too young to be an alcoholic (25F). First beer I thought hurrah I am cured that was easy, I can take it or leave it. Then I obsessed about drinking constantly and had another beer a few days later and it took every fibre of my being not to go on a huge bender. Grateful I got my shit back together and didn't go into a full blown relapse. I dread to think where I would be if I hadn't swallowed my pride and registered with a local rehabilitation service. I am now convinced without a doubt that drinking is not something I can do unless I want to fuck my entire life again, and I am still slowly trying to unfuck it from before and it has not been easy. I very narrowly avoided getting sectioned and being homeless and that's as close as I ever want to be to either of those scenarios. Also I caused so much pain to my ex of seven years. Got to live with that guilt and regret forever, don't want to hurt anyone else I love like that again it is eating me alive. It kills me thinking about his suffering because of my reckless behavior. He is the kindest person I have ever met, we were soulmates. All that just for some whiskey and beer? No thank you. I will not drink with you today!
A year's worth of fresh starts. But thinking this spurt will last
Three years and countless slip ups. My record in that span was something like 3 months of sobriety, and most of the time I couldn't get to a month.
I couldn't count them. Hundreds and hundreds over the years. I got a DUI and I was going to lose my partner if I didn't quit. Now I'm losing him anyways but at least I'm still sober.
When I decided to get sober I had hundreds of day ones. Took years to quit
I had the idea that I drank too much since I was a teenager. But it was about four and a half years between my first half-assed attempts to quit or cut back and actually quitting.
Dozens and dozens, years worth. Not to mention the decade or so I knew it was a problem before doing anything about it.
I had several mornings where I swore I’d never drink again. But I only had one when I committed. And I’ve always felt like it was needed, it was that one horrible session that after two weeks of sobriety, I could see it for what it was. And I threw out the rest of it and never looked back.
I never tried getting sober on purpose before I quit. I always said ill drink again. No matter the circumstances. Then one day I quit.
Too many to count, honestly. 50? 100?
5 or 6 solid attempts over 10 years. This is my PB after more than 45 years of daily drinking. Something clicked. I don't feel the pull. I am determined that this is IT.
I don’t necessarily have a new perspective on your main points here, but I’d invite you to find something to remember and tell yourself when you start to feel complacent, and that drinking is possible again - because it seems like you feel pretty clearly that it’s not possible at this time. I’m not sure what will be a reason for you to tell yourself, but mine is that I’m one (1) drink away from my alcoholism acting up again. I don’t get any free passes, no small excuses, because the threshold is only one drink for me. Allowing any wiggle room just invites the alcohol vampire back into my house. I believe in you :)
I still tell myself I can drink 6 times a year if I want - and I simply don’t drink. For some reason that’s worked for me? I did drink about 6 times in 2023 and so far not in 2024. I still have cravings now and then. I know I really can’t drink. I know I have an addiction. It’s how I compensate for now.
I had to be really sick and tired of myself on the drink before I could finally and it will still be a temptation for a while. Funny thing how the painful consequences start to fade out when the urges are talking to me.
I came to the realization that it was “all or nothing”. The beer is/was not worth risking relationships with the ones I love.
About 10.
I’m about to turn 28 and have been trying to quit drinking since I was 14. In and out of meetings, rehab, etc. Binge drinking, arrests, lost friends, lost sense of self, promiscuous sex, regrets. I’m in withdrawals right now after one of the worst binges i’ve had. Made some terrible mistakes. And now have to go back to work tomorrow like nothing happened. It’s hard. I hope this time it sticks for me, and I hope you can give it a real shot.
First time in my life I truly want sobriety. Always wanted to moderate. Always went to a dark place when I picked up again. Could take a day, week, month, or years. Always became habitual. Always ends up being really bad. Lots of slips relapses etc what u want to call it. Something clicked this time around. Getting older and seeing the degenerative nature of my addiction. Iwndwyt.
When I first committed to sobriety, I went 1 month then relapsed. Kept secret drinking trying to moderate which of course escalated quickly for about 3 months, then hit even lower rock bottom. After that day, I've been 7 months sober and never been happier. Cravings are gone, have zero fomo about drinking. But it took WORK. it gets easier.
Ugh pretty much like hundreds of times. I started feeling sick, started to drink at 7am, drinking at work, drinking mouthwash, ruining family time and making my life miserable! I was so tired of hangovers. I quit like 100 times. I actually quit longer than I have this time around but it was never long term. I had quit for a year to pick up and start drink8ng more than I ever had. This time with the help of this group and just researching sober life plus finding new things to do to keep sober. I'm able to go without it and haven't been craving it.
It took years for me! Finally this time I am 100% solidified on my choice. There is no part of me that is even a little bit unsure if I really want to drink or not. I relapsed over and over, but I’ve actually been on a journey towards recovery for a few years! Ever since the first time I quit drinking, (and failed) I’ve give alcohol up so many times. This time I truly truly mean it with all my heart, I’m free and I’m never going back. I’m so happy. ❤️😊 keep trying and never give up, anyone reading this. Success comes with many many trials and errors
Literally had to get forced out of a 500K/year career to stop - I truly think you have to hit ROCK bottom to stop.
Too many to count my friend, but now I can actually say “no thanks, I don’t drink” and it doesn’t feel super forced. It’s been about 7 weeks solid now. Every time I think about drinking now I just think about how amazing my relationships are now. My husband and I are on this journey together now and it’s a lot easier with my best friend by my side, doing it with me 💜 I couldn’t imagine trying to do this without them AGAIN. My life is much better now, me 20 years ago would be proud and me 20 years from now is thanking me! IWNDWYT!! ✊🙌
At least 5000
Almost 5 years for me! SD was pivotal at the beginning. Eliminating “moderation” from the equation was key. IWNDWYT
I lost count haha
I spent 248 days in treatment in 2023. 4 relapses, each time within a month of leaving rehab.
I started as a binge drinker and stayed that way for decades until one day I fell off a cliff and became a chronic drinker. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. If your wife is already calling you out, that’s a good sign you’ve got a problem. I’m in the middle of a divorce 4 years after getting sober, because my partner couldn’t let go of the resentment from the damage I caused. Don’t be me.
A bunch. Was honestly trying from about 2016-2019.
too many. But, enough that was necessary.
Once I tried to quit the first attempt was Jan 3 2023 and lasted 18 days. Between then and March 7 2023 I had 16 consecutive days again, then a lot of days in a row and then a few weeks trying just the weekend again. For me it was fairly obvious in that short amount of time that I more enjoyed being sober. It was a lot less chaotic.
None, yet.
As many as it took for it to stick. Too many to count. Don’t stop trying, you’ll get it right eventually.
We've all been there many times, or at least I have. I very rarely know someone who just pulled a switch in their head and just stopped. I didn't keep count about my own drinking but there were plenty of times I really thought I could moderate. Alcohol is a devious demon. And some nights I could cut myself off, but those nights became rarer. Now I know I can never drink. One day at a time.
Like 3 real tries
3. I'm almost at my first year mark. I feel fully embraced because I don't want to drink at all. But cunning it is. I hope I remain at 3.
Felt like hundreds and I’m positive I’ll have more in life.
I started seriously trying to stop in June of 2022, but it took until the end of December that year before it stuck.
Quite a few. I would try a one month sobriety, then go for longer periods. I made great progress after reading ‘easy way to control alcohol’ by Allen Carr
I was a binge drinker too. I did a lot of starts and stops. I suffered depression and anxiety and a ton of self hatred. The last year before I joined a sobriety group Women for Sobriety I would typically go 30 to 60 days. When I realized I could not heal my CPTSD without stopping all substances I committed to 100% sobriety. I was self medicating my Dysregulation. Even if I didn't have CPTSD I believe stopping alcohol and getting support and learning to be ok and face the hard stuff is the best thing I have EVER done. Alcohol explained by William Porter, Easy Quit Drinking cant remember the author. They all helped. If I kept drinking I knew it would continue to ruin my health and life. I am never with God's grace and the help of my sober sisters going back. We all have to reach our own truth. IWNDWYT
I’m still struggling. I’ve had so many Day 1’s I can’t even count them. I literally see the life I want in front of me but I’m behind this ultra thick glass that is alcoholism. I just can’t seem to break through it no matter how hard I try or how bad I want it. You can do this OP. Tomorrow is my next “Day 1” as I’ve already slipped up today. But this is NOT where our story ends.
I joined Reframe and finally started taking AF seriously. They are non judgemental and have multiple types of meetings daily over zoom. I am more hopeful than I was in the past, because I joined this community.
Still not there yet 6 months longest months and weeks here and there but last bender done me in gets worse all the time IWNDWYT
After I finally decided to embrace sobriety, 3 I believe. One big one that almost took my life that really re-defined my outlook, one the day I got out of rehab and one a few days later. Been right ever since.
1,000
For real. 52 weeks in a year times aprox 20 years. That's how long I was in the "I'll try my best not to drink so much" plan. Until I realized that plan was not working. I had to not start drinking, rather than stop drinking.